Archive of Our Own

“I refuse to let her wear such an ugly color!” The man sitting on Baxter's office couch was giving him a headache. His fiancée next to him gasped with so much air she was surely going to have hiccups later. She opened her mouth with fury burning in her eyes, but stopped when Baxter simply lifted his hand. This, for some reason, irked her fiancé even more.

“Please, don't.” The plea was surprisingly genuine. The couple looked at each other for a moment before setting their expectant eyes on their wedding planner again. They were the last couple Baxter had to see today, and to be honest, he was exhausted.

He didn't want to jinx the poor couple, but there wasn't an appointment with them that hadn't ended with a fight. Weddings are stressful, but some comments are especially cruel or simply strange. When a couple has not been on the same page at this stage, it was usually a bad sign.

“Are you truly upset at her color choice? Perhaps one of the previous compromises was more meaningful than we thought. We can look through the list again at the next appointment if that sounds helpful to you two.”

When Baxter took a glimpse at his laptop, he held back a sigh of relief as he saw the hour change. He stood up quickly, and the couple mimicked him, however, the woman told Baxter to sit back down. They could find their way out. It wasn't the first time they were here after all.

Baxter let them go, nodding in understanding.

When the couple was finally out of his office, he raised his hand to gently pinch the bridge of his nose. It has been a long day, and he didn't have the energy to think too hard about anything right now.

Baxter pulled his black laptop closer, he was about to type something on the white keys when a knock on his door startled him. That was strange, he didn't have any more appointments today.

Baxter gently set a hand on his chest as he stood up and flattened the wrinkles that his suit didn't even have to begin with. He was walking towards the door when he realized the knocking had a specific pattern. It was familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Baxter brushed it off as his imagination, after all, that was a very strange thing to recognize, but when he finally opened the door, he immediately knew why he did.

“Surprise!” Two voices in unison sang while throwing their arms in the air. Although Baxter didn't think it was intentional, the couple before him were framing perfectly the awkward, taller man behind them, who simply looked away with a shy smile. He had not joined in the yelling but seemed happy to be here nonetheless. Baxter’s shoulders dropped, inspecting the different levels of emotion in his friends. He was about to ask how they were outside his office and how they entered the building when Terry read his mind.

“Don't worry about it!” Terry's big, mischievous smile only made Baxter worry more, but he let it go. Stepping inside, Baxter invited the trio to his office. The three of them followed, but didn't get comfortable. Baxter realized that a random visit to his workplace at the end of the day wasn't their whole plan. Terry especially seemed keen on these surprises, but Miranda had once sent Baxter a set of cups that she thought he would like, and Cove had invited him to have ice cream a couple of times before as well. Those might not have been intended surprises, but they always caught Baxter off guard. Now they were here, in front of him once again, with some sort of scheme.

To be honest, just the fact that the three of them were in his life was a surprise to begin with. Baxter was still getting used to it.

“Very well.” Baxter buried a hand in the pocket of his pants. “To what do I owe such a gracious surprise?”

The fact that Baxter was now smiling gave Terry confidence. He was about to immediately spill the beans when Miranda caught him and switched the approach.

“What day is it today?” She asked quickly with a bright smile. Terry pouted, but he could see why Miranda wanted to guide Baxter there. It was important to make him recognize himself that today was important, rather than just telling him it is.

Terry might have caught on, but Cove was still looking at the two of them in confusion. They had already said surprise, in Cove's head, it didn't make sense to delay it.

“May 19th?” Baxter responded, raising an eyebrow. He knew the date, but not even saying it out loud made him realize why it was important. Miranda opened her mouth to give him another clue, but Cove interrupted her without even realizing.

“It's your birthday.” 

Oh.

The blunt statement made Baxter's eyes widen with realization, but Cove was looking at him like this was the most obvious thing in the whole world, which made Baxter also smile apologetically.

Miranda let out a defeated chuckle. She might be able to communicate her intentions well with her boyfriend, but she couldn't reign in Cove at the same time. This made Terry laugh strongly, startling Cove a bit.

“Every year, B-Man!” Terry teased. “It has happened every year, for your whole life, and you still forget it.” In Baxter's defense, it wasn't something he celebrated after becoming an adult.

“Usually Xavier sends me a treat on my birthday, but I haven't seen them today. I'm pretty sure they are busy with a specially elaborate commission.” Baxter looked away. He did not want to see everyone's reactions to that statement. Out of his sight, Cove and Terry let out unison sighs.

“Lucky.” They both regretted not living closer to their favorite baker, which made Miranda giggle. She shared the sentiment but wasn't as heartbroken as her friends. Baxter's way of tracking his birthday was funny, especially taking into consideration that they knew why Xavier had not delivered their yearly treat.

Baxter returned his eyes to his friends with certain surprise, but in hindsight, what was he concerned about? They would never make fun of him. He knows that. And yet… Why did he expect it?

Bad habits die hard, he supposed, but that didn't diminish the pang of guilt he felt.

Baxter shook his head in an attempt to reset his thought process. He couldn't be so cynical, and especially not with these people. They had infinite patience with him, he wanted to give them the same grace.

Baxter, once again, gently straightened his suit with his free hand.

“Well, how long will you three be in town? It would be wonderful to have some tea with Xavier.”

“First things first!” Terry gently clapped. “We have a little celebration planned! Do you want to go to your place or should we go to one of ours?” Tomorrow was Saturday, so no one had to get up early. Baxter knew them for long enough to expect them to have more things under their sleeves, especially Terry, who caught Baxter’s disbelief immediately and clarified. “Nothing crazy. Just a little hanging out!”

Baxter did not believe that at all. Especially not after seeing Cove look away with that iconic smile of his, as well as Miranda suddenly being deeply interested in the white and black rug in the office.

Baxter started gathering his laptop and keys. It was never just hanging out with Terry, but he didn't mind.

“Alright. Let's go to my place then.” Baxter finally accepted, and with a little cheer, everyone was leaving the office together this time.

“Take Cove with you! It will be a more comfortable ride than in my van!” Terry offered. Baxter looked over at Cove, who had frozen in place, slowly but surely, the taller man was shrinking into his own body and blushing bright red. He was also getting used to Baxter being more present in his life. Cove quite enjoyed Baxter’s company, especially now that they were older, but it was still nerve-wracking.

Baxter let him be for a moment while he locked his office, but eventually turned towards him.

“If-” Baxter started, but Cove quickly shut his eyes tightly and shook his head, like he could physically dodge the words.

“I want to! It's okay! That's good!” Cove took a deep breath. He said the sentence so quickly that it melted all the words together. Miranda gave him a soft look while Terry seemed even happier with himself. Baxter guessed it was all going exactly like Terry planned, he could recognize and relate to that prideful smile.

Cove finally sighed, and Baxter gave him a small, worried smile. Only God knew what Terry was putting Cove up to. Either way, Cove seemed happy under the embarrassment, so Baxter let it go.

Walking down the hallway of his workplace with his friends was a strange experience, even if Baxter had done it before. Perhaps he will even do it again in a couple of years, when Terry and Miranda marry, but for now, the idea of loneliness still weighed Baxter down. Was this correct? Was this okay? Shouldn't he have a separation between this place and his friends?

That was impossible to do now, even if he tried. Baxter realized that it wasn't that it bothered him, but rather he expected them not to be interested in what he does until it was relevant in their lives.

Why would they care about his job? About his place? About his life? 

About his birthday? 

Their group chat was filled with meals and hangouts. Musings and memes. Baxter rarely joined in things like that, with the assumption that they wouldn't care about him. And yet, here they were, wanting to surprise the newest addition to their friend group.

Their weak link. 

In the parking lot, the group split into two. They waved at each other a momentary goodbye before entering their respective vehicles. When Baxter sat down in the driver's seat, he wondered if Terry and Miranda simply wanted more time alone.

“Wow. It really is black and white.” Cove noted after putting on his seatbelt. While he relaxed on the seat, Baxter let out of his nose an annoyed but amused puff of air.

“It is, indeed. Wait until you see my place.” Baxter teased him. It earned a gasp from Cove as Baxter turned the engine on. 

“Is it all black and white?”

“No.” The misleading reply made Cove pout, and yet Baxter was sure that he would have fun with every single black and white thing he would find, like a game of ‘I Spy.’

Once on the road, the curiosity ended up getting the better of Baxter.

“Forgive me if the question is misplaced, but did you really want to come with me? I know Terry can be impulsive, and he wants us to get along better.” 

“Why do you doubt I would want to be around you?” Cove’s tone was matter-of-fact, and Baxter almost slammed the brakes on the car. He recovered from the surprise but then noticed that his heartbeat had started to speed up. Something about being called out so easily was severely overwhelming, not to mention accusatory. Talk about a taste of your own medicine. Baxter supposed they knew him better than he realized after all. It felt like Cove had just read his mind.

“You haven't exactly always been comfortable with me,” Baxter responded, although his aim wasn't to justify his own suspicion. He was actually looking forward to dropping the subject.

“It has been a long time since that. We are different people now…” Cove chuckled a little awkwardly. “You have shown us how sweet and kind you can be. You pay for me all the time, you accept my hangouts, and you also remember my birthday too so why wouldn't I do the same for you?” Cove made things sound so simple, and yet they weren't at all… Or was Baxter the only one tangling himself on psychological cables for no reason?

“Does that mean I can start flirting with you again?” Baxter smiled; he was being playful in order to brush away the serious tone of the conversation. “That was a joke.” The clarification came quickly; he knew Cove might not catch that, and the last thing Baxter wanted to do was pressure him.

“Well-...” Cove was the one to surprise Baxter by reaching over and poking his cheek gently. Cove was displaying one of his signature toothy, full grins. “You are the one blushing.” 

They both were.

Cove laughed, and Baxter’s eyes widened in surprise.

He was? 

Alright, now he was feeling his cheeks heat up, but Baxter wanted to believe it was just because of the call out and nothing else. When he laughed, a little snort accompanied it and Baxter sighed in mock defeat.

“Alright. You got me. If you can be so courteous as to not mention this to Terry, I would be in your debt. He would never let me live it down.”

“Deal.”

The rest of the short trip was uneventful and comfortably quiet.

When they made it to the parking lot of Baxter's building, Terry was able to park right next to him.

Baxter and Cove joined the couple who were quickly getting bags out of the back of the van. Baxter had barely gotten anywhere near when Terry had already shoved some bags into his arms. He was confused for a second until he lowered them and got a good look at the contents.

They were carefully wrapped gifts.

“Wha-...?” Baxter started asking, but he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say.

“Well- Did you think you wouldn't get any gifts?” Miranda giggled, closing the door to the van once everything was unloaded. “The Lasts are overseas visiting Lee this year, so they kept your gifts with us, but there's some more stuff there as well.” This was definitely a more complete party than Baxter was expecting. “No peeking!”

“Of course,” Baxter replied automatically, taking his eyes away from the bag he was carrying. Doing so gave him some relief, but the shock was still lingering inside him. He didn't often get gifts. He usually gave them instead… In fact, if you don't count Xavier's stubborn birthday treats, the last time might have been 6 years ago when Jamie bought him that souvenir in Sunset Bird.

“Hello, everybody!” The familiar, sweet voice broke Baxter out of his head, as the bag he was holding was taken from him. “Let me get that for you.”

“Evening, Xavier.” It was like they had been summoned by Baxter's thoughts.

Without the bag on the way, Baxter could see that his friend was carrying a smaller one of their own with the logo of their bakery.

Baxter had already filled in the blanks, but Xavier still answered his curiosity, which they knew was fluttering inside Baxter's brain. Work friend or not, Xavier was very used to Baxter's quirks.

“You thought I was going to miss your birthday party?” They chuckled. “No, no, monsieur! I would never. I'm so glad I got here just in time.”

That they did. Baxter guessed they had come straight here after closing shop. Of course, his friends invited Xavier as well, but the image of them in front of Baxter's eyes still felt like an illusion in an oasis; fragile and distant.

He felt like he was in a dream. Xavier seemed to read his thoughts again and shot him a bright smile. They were going to say something more, but then Terry started pulling everyone towards the apartment's front door with just his firm, golden eyes. It was silent but clear. Terry was a playful commander, organizing his flock.

Although Baxter had to get in front sometimes to swipe his keycard on the doors and the elevator, the group had split uniquely while walking the vast corridors. The stronger, more social personalities of Terry and Xavier were chatting on the front. Miranda was a step behind, her curls bouncing every time she turned her head to admire the expensive-looking hallway. Meanwhile, Cove and Baxter were chilling at the very back. Cove found it more entertaining to watch Miranda's surprise than the building itself, and Baxter had to agree. He had walked through this same hallway a thousand times by now, and yet at this very moment, it felt completely different. It was full of energy and life. They were leaving a trail of excitement as they walked by, the magic dissipating quickly on the otherwise extremely cold and modern hallway.

When they arrived at Baxter's apartment and he opened the door, his guests invited themselves in immediately. Cove, Xavier and Miranda whispered little “Excuse me”s. Terry joined them a moment later, realizing he had gotten ahead of himself.

Baxter didn't care, but he did have a realization while closing the door back up. Was the intention to sing him happy birthday?

Baxter wasn't thrilled at the idea, but either way, the first thing everyone did was put the bags down and unload them.

“Nice view.” Cove told Baxter, watching the sea in the distance through the big glass windows in the living room.

“Feel free to open them, if you please.” Baxter had not even finished the sentence when Cove was already making his way. When he opened the window, which was more akin to a glass door, the colder-than-usual breeze hit everyone. Terry also decided to join Cove in watching the sea.

The sky was a dark blue by now, the sun was whispering its last goodbyes to the clouds.

Cove and Terry both took a deep, appreciative breath. Although it didn't smell the same as Sunset Bird, having the sea right there was a comforting image in a home that wasn't their home.

Miranda, quick as ever, snapped a photo of them with her phone, which she promptly showed to Baxter. It was quite beautiful, in equal parts because of the skill of the photographer and because of the brotherhood displayed. Baxter, for the first time since he had paid rent on that apartment, was grateful for the view.

Xavier was the one to call the group back together. While everyone was distracted, they had set up Baxter's cake on his small dining table.

Baxter's jaw slightly dropped at the sight of it. He had to blink a couple of times to make sure the cake wouldn't phase out of existence.

It was gorgeous, as expected from Xavier, but that wasn't the most inspiring thing about it. Baxter suddenly realized this cake was really for him.

As many cakes as he had seen of Xavier's, not one of them was something Baxter asked for.

Neither was this one.

And yet, it was perfectly designed for him. He didn't ask Xavier, he didn't commission them either, he didn't have an extensive interview about his preferences with them, and yet Xavier knew exactly what to make. Baxter didn't need to give them a word, not a single specification and yet they had produced an ideal confection for him.

The cake itself was black, giving it elegance. From the middle of it and curling around the edge of the layer, dark brown branches and golden leaves seemed to burst from inside the cake. Smaller leaves were all over the cake, as well as small berries. The candles, a 2 and a 5, were white. The 2 had a small dove next to it, which looked at Baxter with the peace only an object devoid of life could have.

Both of the candles were lit, the breeze from the window made them dance, but it wasn't strong enough to threaten their life.

Baxter stared at it for only God knows how long, the spell was broken by Miranda, who took Baxter's arm and gently guided him to sit down. He obeyed, looking at the rest of his friends doing the same. He didn't know when, but they now all had noisemakers in either their mouths or hands. Suddenly, they looked less like adults and more like colorful kids who couldn't wait to dig into the cake.

Baxter didn't have the experience of seeing any of his friends as kids, but Cove thought it fit Miranda perfectly. She had ditched the bouncy houses and the park for her phone, the camera app constantly open, ready to snatch all the memories, but she was just as joyful and sweet.

“Do you want us to sing happy birthday?” She asked with genuine curiosity. Cove and Xavier shared knowing smiles, they couldn't imagine Baxter would say yes. Terry, on the other hand, was holding his breath. He seemed to be ready to burst into song at a moment's notice.

“You know what?...” Baxter shrugged with a smirk. He looked away, relaxing a bit. He realized that he wanted to preserve the whimsy of the day more than he was uncomfortable with the childishness of the act. Not to mention, it seemed like something Miranda and Terry wanted to do. “Sure, why not?”

Terry let out the air held in his throat which became a disappointed sigh. Miranda, on the other hand, happily smacked her hands together and beamed. Xavier and Cove joined in with their own defeated sighs, but they were quickly replaced by laughter.

What was going on?

And then, Terry, Cove and Xavier produced from their wallets and pockets 10 bucks each, which were promptly handed over to Miranda.

Oh…

They had bet on it.

Against all odds, this was a Miranda victory. She basked in the glory, looking smug and laughing in mocking villainy. Despite her playing it up for jokes, it was clear that she was delighted by the fact that Baxter engaged with his inner child… No. It was greater than that. She believed in his inner child.

After Miranda put her well-earned cash in her dress' pocket, then like a well-coordinated orchestra, the team was ready. Baxter leaned forward, his arms crossed as he prepared himself for the situation by instead staring at the cake, specifically the aforementioned dove. Suddenly, it was their own little world as the mixture of different voices started to sing in unison. They were all so distinct, Baxter could close his eyes and find each one of his friends easily.

“Happy Birthday to you!” Miranda was the lead voice, her hands were once again clasped together. Usually, she was quite shy, but in this exact moment, she was feeling herself. Comfortable and joyful with her friends, she allowed herself to sway side to side in rhythm.

“Happy birthday to you!” Xavier had a very melodious voice, even when just speaking. Now, full on singing, they were delightfully confident and harmonious. Xavier had joined Miranda on the swaying, gently bumping into Cove to encourage him to do the same.

“Happy Birthday, Baxter.” Cove was the quietest of them. His cheeks were getting red, especially with Xavier's nudging, but he did indulge them. The big, wide, toothy grin on his face couldn't be wiped by anything either.

“Happy birthday to you!” Terry wasn't exactly singing, more like happily yelling, but it still had some harmony with the rest of the voices. He threw his arms up and clapped at the end of the song. 

They all joined-

With a soft smile, Baxter leaned over and gently blew the candles out. At that exact same moment, a cacophony of noise makers went off at the same time. It scared the shit out of Baxter as his eyes blew wide open, the noise makers died down and instead it became cheers and laughing.

Baxter looked at them in awe. As the group shone in their joy, he felt something in his chest tighten. A strange feeling threatened to overwhelm him as warmth traveled through his body. The feeling was unfamiliar, not new but still alien, making him frown.

What is a birthday for? It varies. Culture to culture. What Baxter wanted to know was what it meant for the people in front of him. They loved parties, they loved every excuse to be together, Xavier wanted to be Baxter's real friend for a long while and they all accepted each other so fully. And this…?

Somewhere deep inside, Baxter knew the answer. His friends were celebrating him. His life. Of course, they loved any chance to get together and have fun, but they knew how meaningful the act was for an ‘outsider’ like Baxter. How many times did he think, even as an adult, that he didn't deserve to meet them the first time? How many times did he love the time he spent on Sunset Bird and Xavier's bakery, but also feared it wasn't for him to enjoy? How many times he wondered if life was better when he wasn't in it?

And now they were all here, singing for him. Laughing with him. Celebrating because of his own existence.

Baxter looked down at the candles again. The heat had melted an outer layer of the wax to reveal a black interior. The white dove now had a black hat as a tiny drop of wax had fallen on it.

Baxter's throat closed completely.

“We missed you.”

Baxter actually wasn't sure who said that at first. It could have been anyone. He was very lost in his thoughts and actually, for a moment, even believed he had hallucinated the words which came to him in a whisper. After a moment, he realized it had been Terry.

“Aww… Baxter.” Xavier cooed, very far away.

What snapped Baxter out of his dreamlike state was Cove resting an arm on him. Baxter looked up and was met with deeply blue eyes. It was like the whole ocean, seafoam and everything just lived comfortably in Cove's eyes. Cove was thinking something similar about Baxter’s brown eyes, which seemed to carry the comfortably cold breeze of a vast forest with them. However, Cove was rather concerned for the red that had taken over the usually golden autumn scene.

That's when Baxter felt it, a tear rolled down his chin. He gasped very subtly and looked away from Cove. Baxter raised his hand and gently touched his own cheek with the back of his knuckles. Sure enough, it was wet.

“Are you okay?” Miranda reached over the table, setting her hand halfway towards Baxter, but she was too far away to reach him in any way. Although they were fussing, none of his friends were exactly surprised. The event was emotional for them, too.

“Yes.” Baxter’s reply was quick and direct. He, unceremoniously, simply gently wiped his eyes with his own fingers. Cove gave him a gentle, encouraging pat before letting him go.

“I know!” Terry got up and borrowed a knife from Baxter's kitchen. When everyone saw him with it, they got a little bit of life back, excited to get some cake. Baxter joined them, completely cool and unbothered by the fact that he was crying a few seconds ago. It was a bit of a facade, but the group knew that Baxter would open up if he needed or wanted to. There was no need to pressure him, it would only close him off more. If he said he was okay, he was, and that's it.

The moment was fleeting, and Terry was very efficient. He took his cake-cutting business seriously, while Xavier put the candles in a little envelope after cleaning them. They were a keepsake. Soon enough, everyone had a piece. 

Terry had cut for Baxter a piece full of cute leaves and berries. The best for their birthday man. Without too much ceremony, each of them took a bite… except for Xavier, who was instead surveying their reactions.

The whole room lit up like a Christmas tree. There were hums of appreciation and mouthfuls of ‘So good!’, especially from Terry and Cove. Xavier basked in it for a moment. When they looked so happy, it made Xavier want to give Terry and Cove free stuff all the time!

Of course, Xavier was very sure of their skills, and it wasn't the first time the team tried their pastries, but the charm never quite rubs off.

Xavier cut a bite out of their own piece of cake carefully with a fork. The soft confection broke with no resistance and soon enough, they were even more proud of themself. After all, if Xavier didn't think it was delicious themself, what was the point?

Everyone ate in relative silence, more worried about getting cake into their mouths than anything else. Baxter was the one who broke the silence a couple minutes after he was done eating.

“I'm…-” He was staring at his own plate. “-really grateful for this.”“Don't mention it!” Terry replied in a knee-jerk reaction, but he meant it.

“It's not the first time you guys do something like this for me-...” Baxter looked away, a small puff of air left his nose as he ended up closing his eyes instead and leaning into the table more. “I haven't-...” He caught himself and instead closed his mouth mid-sentence. Baxter was about to mention how this isn't something he deserves, but who was he to tell them they were wrong? Baxter wanted to trust them, he should believe them that this is worth the hassle.

“If you start crying again, I'm going to end up crying too!” The… threat? From Cove made the whole room look at him in a split-second surprise. Cove looked back at them, mostly Baxter, with the same wide eyes.

Miranda and Terry were the first ones to break into laughter. Cove might not be so much of a crybaby as an adult, but he was still moved by sentimentality. Even if Baxter denied his whole life that he is a romantic, that's a thing the two had deeply in common.

When Cove put his hand reassuringly on Baxter's shoulder again, Xavier looked away with a smile. They felt like they needed to give the two men some sort of privacy, although it was impossible to truly do so right now. Cove had a strange determination in his eyes, Baxter wasn't sure why, but it was making him uneasy.

“I'm serious!” Cove reiterated, but his look softened into a smile. “You don't have to cry alone.”

Oh.

Baxter did feel like crying again, after all.

However, all he did was shake his hand vaguely at Cove. The taller man relaxed and dropped his arm off Baxter.

“I'm perfectly fine-...” It wasn't too convincing, but they all knew Baxter was opening up to them. There was no rush, and especially not on his birthday.

There was some more light conversation while everyone eyed the cake with as much subtlety as they could muster. Baxter served Cove another slice, knowing that he wanted it but wasn't going to ask. Baxter was about to invite them to what Jamie would have called an irresponsible drink, but Miranda had piped up first, full of giggles again. She might have been bullied for being childish growing up, but this quirk of character was a lot more appreciated by her peers as an adult. When she looked so happy, it was hard not to be excited with her.

“You should open up your gifts!”

Baxter had completely forgotten about those for a moment. He was going to go sit down back at the table, but the group instead got up and started gathering the bags with gifts in the living room. Baxter was starting to feel out of place when he sat in the middle of his couch, but what truly sealed his fate was Xavier putting a random gift in his hands before curtseying dramatically. Baxter knew that they were doing it for comedic purposes, but then Terry set something in his head and a wave of memories came rushing in. 

He was being crowned.

He didn't need to reach his head to know; he could see himself in the reflection of his TV. It was a silly birthday tradition that Cove, Terry and Miranda had, but the act was very symbolic beyond their own habits. They met as children, so some childish things stuck. For Baxter, those old memories were bittersweet.

Baxter suddenly felt like he was 13 years old again. Back in Golden Grove with a group of kids playing rock paper scissors in order to figure out who's buying snacks.

He also felt 15 again. On stage with whomever his dancing partner was at the time, getting a trophy for winning one of his many competitions.

He was also 19 again, being wrapped in a white boa around his neck in the after party of someone else's birthday.

What was he being crowned for today?

… For being alive?

Was happiness always accompanied by this feeling of melancholia? Baxter was sure that, logically, that wasn't the case, but that didn't help shake the feeling off now. 

The gift in his hands was a small, black box with a white ribbon. It was no surprise that most of the gifts were encased in black and white wrapping paper, but they all had unique designs. This one was the least elaborate.

Baxter pulled on the tag. He recognized the handwriting immediately. The ink was surprisingly red, so much for staying on theme. In its defense, the writing seemed more bold and remarkable this way.

“For: Baxter.

From: Jamie and Elizabeth Last.”

He turned the tag to the other side after letting people know who it was from. He read the more personal note in his head.

“Liz wanted to get real funny, so I had to remind her that Miranda probably was gonna want to see you open the gifts.

She was really pouty, but we are still quite proud of what we ended up picking.

We hope you like it! And sorry we missed your birthday party! I bet it was a blast! I can't wait to see all the pictures.

~ Jamie.”

Baxter, with certain hesitation, rested his fingers on one of the folds of the wrapping paper. He pulled it, trying to think as little as possible of the act. The sound of the paper tearing made him want to hold his breath.

Why was this scary?

By the second tear, he was feeling better, but perhaps he was still thinking about Liz pranking him... Or about baking cake mix, who knows?

Eventually, the paper was gone, and now Baxter was holding a square, fancy box. It was completely black, and on the top there was a name written with silver. He recognized it as a brand of high-quality watches.

There was a time when Baxter would think nothing of this, he could have whatever he wanted after all. Regardless of how expensive or not the watch was, it was all the same. Now, as an adult, he knew how to recognize ‘luxury for the sake of luxury’ versus a quality luxury. Some people might assume he was still a fan of the first one, especially after seeing his apartment but Jamie knew him better than anyone.

That was the other thing he could see on the gift.

Someone who knows him.

When Baxter opened the box he was able to look upon his new watch. The crowd let out little sounds of awe and approval. It was a minimalistic, very elegant watch. It was subtle and low-key, something he could wear to work. It wasn't going to catch a lot of eyes and yet its detail didn't miss Baxter. It was very much perfect for him.

Baxter didn't realize how much he was smiling until Miranda sent all the pictures to their group chat later in the night. For now, the only people who knew exactly how much fun Baxter was having were the people basking in his joy.

The rest of the gifts were opened. One by one, Baxter felt a little less scared about tearing paper, although the most nerve-wrecking were the gifts from the people present. Cove insisted on his gift to be opened privately, and Baxter was happy to comply. On the other side of the coin, Miranda was beyond excited about Baxter opening hers. God knows that she wanted to ask for hers to be first, but perhaps was embarrassed to do so. Regardless, Baxter was surprised as hell when he pulled out of the box a chubby, tuxedo cat plushie. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was looking at a little version of himself, and just like that, he ended up breaking into a snorty laugh.

It was adorable. The white and black cat was dressed just like him, with a tailored suit and a small patch of black fur on the white neck that was similar to Baxter’s beauty mark.

Miranda was very proud of it, she made it herself. It was a little hobby she picked up after Jamie gifted her that sewing kit for her birthday when they were kids. For the rest of the gift opening, the little cat remained on Baxter's lap.

The surprise of the evening, for Baxter, was finding a gift from the Suarez family. Although gifting something to a near-stranger was on par with Derek's personality, Derek didn't think of Baxter as a ‘stranger’ despite Baxter himself being pretty sure that he is one.

Baxter met Derek and his brothers when they happened to run into each other at Xavier's bakery. After talking for a little while, Xavier mentioned Jamie, and it turned out they all knew them. Who knew? The world really is small.

Either way, they had gotten along, and Derek was now a member of their group chat as well. In Baxter's head, that meant that he himself was an ‘official’ friend, although he was very self-aware that that was a very clinical way to put it.

Derek and his siblings had ditched the white and black theme everyone else went with for the wrapping paper, making their gift rather eye-catching. If that was on purpose or if they just didn't feel like buying new paper, whose purpose is simply to be destroyed, was anyone's guess.

Their gift was a set of high-quality pans, which explains why it was so heavy. How Cove managed to carry it earlier without much problem was impressive. Inside the pans, there were some new utensils too. Baxter had mentioned to Derek that he enjoys cooking and how he wished he had more time for it. Baxter was quite excited to use his new things, and suddenly he understood why Miranda found this so entertaining.

Terry had decided, like Elizabeth, to be funny with his gift. He had not given up on the quest of turning Baxter into an ocean guy and had given him some beach supplies that were themed around autumn. How the hell did he find autumn-inspired summer supplies? Only God knows, but it was funny. Baxter was procrastinating on getting these things, but he did promise to give the ocean another chance, now he didn't have any excuses to refuse.

Xavier, on the other hand, had a similar idea to Derek. Their gift was a bunch of different cake and cookie molds. Although they said they wanted to be supportive of Baxter’s baking endeavours, the mischievous, clearly teasing smile on Xavier made it quite clear that what they really wanted was to tease. They even offered to give Baxter classes on baking, to which they were surprised when he agreed. Baxter had found out that baking together was apparently a great way to strengthen your friendship, not to mention that Xavier loves it. It was a perfect way to hang out. Xavier wanted to tease him, but ended up with much more.

Jude and Scott had been very excited to give back a little to their friend who went the extra mile to make their wedding perfect. They gifted Baxter a pair of wonderful cufflinks. It was the opposite energy of Noelani and Pamela, who gave Baxter a very fancy bottle of wine. Perhaps they weren't his parents, but it still made him feel like he was misbehaving when Xavier suggested opening it. Baxter did like the idea of sharing it though, so he did.

Cove and Terry skipped on having some, but everyone else had a glass.

And just like that, he was in his living room, surrounded by wrapping paper, drinking wine and relaxing with his friends. He had completely forgotten about the last couple in his office. When his shoulders dropped, they actually hurt from the tension in his muscles. He needed this. Not the birthday, but the company. Now that he was watching the night from his window, his only thought was the taste of alcohol in his mouth. He wished there were more hours in the day.

“Did you enjoy it?” The question jolted Baxter out of whatever dream he was in. It came from Cove, who was now sitting next to him on the couch. He didn't notice when Cove joined him.

“Of course.” The reply came immediately, Baxter had surprised himself by how easily it left his lips. “I'm really grateful you all did this.”

“That's good.” There was a moment of silence after that, but it was comfortable. Cove was drumming on the armrest of the couch while wearing a soft smile, he had been looking around for a while.

“How many things black and white have you found?” Baxter asked and Cove's smile grew.

“Eight.” This reply came easily as well. They both chuckled but then Terry brought attention to something that Baxter had completely forgotten about.

It was the middle of the night, and they had to go home.

“Sunset Bird is a little far, so let's get on the road soon!” Right, that's probably why Terry didn't drink. He was their designated driver.

“Oh, I can just stay with you, Terry. No need to go that far.” Miranda gently waved her hand as to dismiss the discussion. Terry was a little embarrassed that she just outed their escape to everyone, but didn't mind too much. 

“If any of you want to use the guest room, you are more than welcome to.” Baxter cleared his throat.. “It is late. We could have done this tomorrow, you know?”

“The surprise had to be perfect!” Terry insisted quietly, earning a little pat on his shoulder from Miranda. Baxter understood the sentiment as a planner himself.

“A sleepover doesn't sound like a bad idea but I think I'll save it for another occasion.” Xavier beamed, happily getting a little more wine. They were planning on calling an Uber.

“You are gonna drink me out of house and home.” Baxter teased, but it wasn't a real complaint. He actually enjoyed drinking more like this, with his friends. When alone it was rather depressing.

As Cove didn't respond, they all turned to him and waited for an answer. It didn't come, as Cove was distracted surveilling the apartment for more black and white things.

“Earth to Cove!” Terry called and he snapped back into the conversation when he recognized his name.

“What?”

“Are you going home?” Miranda repeated the question.

“Oh, yeah. Eventually.” Cove chuckled. He didn't like driving at night, but if he was going to, it was better when it was very late and the roads were very empty. He knew Baxter didn't mind him tagging along for longer. He has stayed quite late before; the other three people in the room just probably were unaware of that fact. Cove's car was back at Jude and Scott's place since they had to go pick up the gift and spend some time there, but he could get an Uber there. It was relatively close, no problem. He wasn't really worried about it.

When the team decided to start cleaning up, Baxter took a moment to tear a little square out of each of the different wrapping papers. He would find a place to keep them later, but for now, he didn't want to part with it yet. Maybe Jamie was right, and he should start a scrapbook.

Baxter offered the team some cake, in case they wanted to take some of it home. Cove seemed to hurt when he said no, while Terry laughed.

“What a generous offer, Prince Baxter!”

At that moment, he remembered the extra weight on his head and took the crown off as well as the boa with a little smile. Cove seemed like he was going to do something, but ended up just shifting his weight side to side while looking at Baxter.

“But your birthday isn't over until midnight.” Cove protested in a joking manner, and Miranda also gently clapped her hands together in cheer and agreement.

“Alright, I'll put it back on. In exchange, however, I hope you have some more cake with me.” Of course, Cove would accept those conditions, and so Baxter wore the crown again.

“Let them eat cake?” Xavier joined in on the joke, earning a little pout from Miranda, crossing her arms into an X.

“Our Marie Antoinette doesn't need to lose his head any time soon!” She wasn't a fan of the comparison. Baxter thought it was funny, but it definitely would have been offensive coming from anyone else.

“B-Man, you would make a great queen of France!” Terry joked, but Cove nodded behind him in a much more sincere manner. 

“I'm not gonna be the one to vote for monarchy any time soon, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.” Baxter chuckled and shook the subject off.

After a promise from Terry and Miranda to visit Xavier at their bakery next Monday, the group once more was back in the hallways of Baxter's complex. In the elevator, he was thankful it was so late and desolated although looking at himself in the mirror, the crown didn't look that bad. 

In the parking lot, they all lingered for a bit, joking and taking the last picture of the day. There was enough light in the parking lot, and Cove had long enough arms to get everyone in frame for a selfie. It was a beautiful night, full of stars. The day seemed so far away.

“Thanks so much for having us!” Miranda was content. The smile on her face was calm as Cove gave her phone back. Even when she wasn't the one taking the picture, the responsibility of keeping them still fell on her.

“It was so much fun!” Terry added, Xavier was focused on their phone but still joined the conversation.

“You better invite us again!”

Baxter sighed gently, an affectionate sign of a happy defeat. “My doors are always open.”

Miranda and Terry suddenly wrapped their arms around Baxter at the same time. He was taller than both of them and yet somehow felt really small between them. They had hugged him in a way that he couldn't get his arms out and hug them back. It was a very comfortable prison; they were warmer than the night breeze.

“Goodbye, Baxter.” Miranda whispered so quietly it was hard to catch it, but Baxter did. He didn't understand why, but it made his heart ache.

Terry felt how tense he had suddenly gotten, and as they let Baxter go, Terry gently patted his arm. “Don't worry! We'll be back before you know it!”

Of course. It's goodbye for now. He can always text them as well.

It's okay.

The couple gave Cove high fives and hugs to Xavier as well, which they happily returned.

“I'll see you soon.” Baxter gave Terry and Miranda a small wave as they got into their van. Seeing them go, Baxter still had an afterimage of them burned into his mind.

He was truly looking forward to organizing their wedding. They probably aren't going to propose any time soon, but Baxter already had so many ideas. He was confident they would be together for the rest of their lives, and it was always an honor to partake in a wedding that celebrates love so strong. He felt a little jealous but mostly proud of his friends. Maybe he was the unmarried wedding planner, but that didn't mean his life was devoid of the concept of love. His friends were wonderful partners to each other, and they also loved him like he loved them. Love, romantic or not, it's special, not one more important than the other.

To Baxter's surprise, Xavier also wrapped an arm around him in a half-hug and gently swayed with him. Xavier always had a lovely, sweet perfume that Baxter quite likes, although perhaps it was simply the smell of their bakery? Either way, it was familiar and relaxing.

“You two better behave!” Xavier told both Cove and Baxter with a little wink. It made Baxter snort while Cove blushed a little bit in surprise. He had no idea what trouble they could get into but something about Xavier's demeanour got into Cove.

“It was nice seeing you again…” Cove told Xavier, gently rubbing his arm as Baxter gently patted Xavier's back.

“Be safe.”

Xavier’s Uber beeped as it pulled into the parking lot, and with another wave, Xavier was also gone.

Now there were only two men, left alone on the night with nothing specific to do. Both of them instinctively looked up at the stars, seemingly in no hurry to get back inside. Eventually, they only walked a little back to lean into the wall of the building.

They had both gotten used to each other in the past year, and it wasn't the first time they were alone, but perhaps it was still a tiny bit unusual, especially outside at night. There was something extremely peaceful about the moment. Baxter could hear both their breathing, slowly getting in sync. Any moment now, Cove would ask something very random.

“We are truly friends, right?”

Ah, there it is.

Although Baxter was expecting a question, it still caught him off guard that Cove would ask about their own friendship. Baxter’s eyes slowly broke from the stars to fall on his taller companion. Green hair hid his eyes, and yet Cove's expression was easy to read. There was tension and restlessness in his body.

“Yes.” Baxter's direct response helped Cove ease up a little bit, but clearly something was still on his mind. “Is there something in particular you are concerned about?”

“I'm not sure…” Cove stayed quiet for a bit, Baxter was aware he was just trying to collect the right words. “I'm used to people fussing over me. My friends tend to be overprotective, especially the ones who have known me since I was a kid. You are also protective, but you always behave like you will be the one that will hurt me… like you are protecting me from yourself.”

Baxter's eyes widen in recognition. Cove slightly tilted his head to look at his companion. Raising a hand, he gently brushed his hair behind his ear, the blue sapphires in his eyes suddenly felt like they were burning holes into Baxter's soul. Cove continued.

“I don't think you will… but why is that something you think?”

Baxter wasn't sure. He knew what Cove meant, but he wasn't entirely sure of the answer. Baxter was self-aware on many fronts, but some of his own behaviors were more intense than he realized, even when he tried to hold back or force his mind to have a more positive perspective.

“Because I-...”

“You learned.” Cove interrupted, knowing what Baxter was gonna say. They both looked at each other in silence. It was a small competition, but Baxter yielded rather quickly, looking back at the stars again. Cove's intense staring was making him uneasy. Baxter felt… guilty.

“I'm sorry…” Baxter gently shook his head. “We often hurt people without realizing, it's very easy to do so… I suppose I want to avoid such a scenario again, that's all..” He wanted to avoid ruining more friendships because of his own dumb personality, because of his own insecurity, because of his own fear.

“Don't be sorry.” Cove replied, his heart was picking up a little bit of speed. He was never the best at speaking, and he didn't believe himself to be good at cheering people up, but Cove wanted Baxter to understand that he was there for him, no matter how nervous Cove might be about the situation, and that wasn't Baxter's fault either. “I just want you to know-... we all also worry about you… You never really g-... Mmm…”

Cove raised his hand and gently scratched his own nose. He felt like he was getting too intense, so instead he took a deep breath and started again. Unfortunately, that had done nothing to stop the firm tone of his voice.

“It's your birthday! If there's a time to be selfish, it's today! Please think about yourself! It's okay to be happy just because you want to be happy! There's no need to doubt and punish yourself, we want to see you be yourself!”

Baxter laughed, which made Cove frown slightly. It came with a snort as Baxter looked away and hid his mouth with his hand. He calmed down before looking at Cove again.

“Come here,” Baxter told him, prying himself away from the wall and reaching up for his crown. Cove got a little closer with certain hesitation. “Lean down.” The demand was firm, but his voice was soft and patient. Cove once again heeded Baxter's command as he took off the crown and now held it in his hands. Baxter was looking at it, gently twisting it with his fingers.

“Cove…” Baxter closed his eyes. He was also trying to keep his own feelings in check. “I am being selfish. I'm being the most selfish person in the world.”

Cove raised his eyes at him, tilting his head slightly with curiosity but remained leaning in. Baxter continued.

“On my birthday, I’d rather care about others. I am grateful that I have others who celebrate my life and wish to honor them more than myself. My selfish wish is to care about you. I'm not a prince but a knight. I fell from grace long ago and realized that I'm happier seeing you smile than carrying this myself.” Then, Baxter gently placed the crown on Cove's head. His eyes widened in disbelief as a strong blush extended like wildfire along Cove's face and as far as his ears. Cove pulled himself back up to his full height again, looking away, he had no idea what to do with himself now.

This made Baxter laugh again.

“Now, Prince Cove of Sunset Bird and the Seven Seas. Would you join me for a walk on the beach?” Baxter smirked, knowing Cove's response before he even said anything. He immediately lit up, bouncing in place and getting over his flusteredness in record time. It was beyond precious.

“Yes!”

And so the two of them started walking towards the ocean. In Baxter's eyes, the water had never looked so beautiful. The moon, Baxter's oldest friend, reflected on the sea, showering in beautiful sparkles.

A day that Baxter thought he would never celebrate again was absolutely perfect. When was the last time he felt this satisfied?... Actually, forget that.

When was the last time he felt so genuinely joyous?

Baxter's life was full of acceptance. Of just taking what he gets, but Cove was right, Baxter often only takes the bad things. He should think about himself. Allow himself to take hold of what he cares about. He didn't have to be timid or fearful of what others would do. They love him, Baxter believes in them, and there was no reason to hold back.

The truth is that he was still scared. At any moment, any of his friends could get wise all of a sudden and leave, but perhaps he had it backwards.

They had forgiven him because they are wise. Now, together, they all took care of each other.

“Cove?” Baxter called for him.

“Mm?”

“Thank you…”

They both laughed and gently bumped into each other.

“Don't mention it.”

And suddenly, they were walking side by side, their shoulders touching.

Both of them found themselves at home in a warmth that had no equal and a happiness that knew no bounds.

However, for the two men, the night was far from over. At some point, Baxter and Cove both took off their shoes as they walked on the sand. It was quite enjoyable at night when it wasn't scorching hot from the sun.

Cove gently held Baxter's arm with his free hand. His fingers curled on Baxter's pale skin, and his whole face became a striking red as the warmth they both emanated became one. His heart was beating so fast he was sure it would break his rib cage at any moment.

Baxter looked up at him with curiosity, at that same moment, Cove pointed at the sea, redirecting Baxter's sight. He had already guessed what Cove was gonna ask, but he didn't interrupt.

“Want to get a little wet?” Cove didn't pressure him, but the excitement in his voice was unmistakable. “There's probably some cool shells too.”

“Sure,” Baxter replied calmly, the breeze ruffled his hair and pulled it back in a way that was a little mesmerizing for Cove. Baxter seemed to belong to the night; he was one with it and faced it like it was an old friend.

They left their shoes and phones far from the water on the beach before they started walking towards the ocean. Cove let go of him, but Baxter simply caught his hand in his with a swift movement. They both were painfully aware of the touch but excused the behavior as simply a need for warmth, even as Baxter's careful fingers curled under Cove's own.

Eventually, they went deep enough for the water to wash their feet. It was freezing, prompting them to stand closer. A million ideas were popping up in Baxter's head; he was the one able to easily recognize how tender the moment was. He was enjoying it deeply, but was scared of taking advantage of Cove’s usually dense personality.

It wasn't fair to enjoy something romantic when the other person was completely unaware. Those moments are for two, and it was unfair to think about Cove that way without him noticing.

Baxter was oblivious to the fact that Cove was about to start shaking out of nervousness. The truth was that he had a crush on his shorter companion for a long time now, but wasn't sure how to express it. There were a lot of expectations that people in Cove's life had about his relationships. Worst of all, Baxter kept doubting the fact that Cove wanted to be around him. This drastic change was too much, but now they were here together, holding hands on the beach. The breeze whispered peace, and the cold kept bringing them together. Cove doubted he was brave enough to take a step, but if he didn't, would they be stuck on this loop for the rest of their lives? Was the magic they had carefully curated here temporary?

“Do you by any chance know the name of that snail?” Baxter pointed towards some rocks quite deep in the water. There, indeed, a snail hid behind some algae;, it was a little hard to see. The two let each other go finally in order to squat down on the water for a better vantage point. Neither of them was too worried about getting wet, it just wasn't worth the fuss, and they couldn't care less at the moment.

“Oh! Yes!” Cove was excited about the opportunity to talk about the sea life. Baxter was more entranced with his joyfulness, basking in Cove's brightness. He could light the whole beach by himself without the need of the sun or the moon. “It's a Californiconus Californicus, or a Californian cone! Like their name suggest they are common to the area, but cone snails are usually tropical. That little guy it's an outlier in that department.”

“Oh?” Baxter looked back at the snail again. “That's quite interesting. I didn't know we had native snails.”

A specially strong wave suddenly hit the two of them, the water was high and with enough strength to get almost their whole body wet. Cove was surprised for a moment until Baxter started laughing;, he joined with a soft smile, and they ended up both sitting down completely in the water. It made Baxter a little bit nervous, but feeling the sand under him and having Cove near at least made him feel more secure. The ocean wasn't going to suddenly swallow him in this shallow water, or so he hoped.

Baxter ended up grabbing onto Cove's arm again. The ocean was beautiful to look at, but the vastness of it was something he could only appreciate in the safety of Cove's eyes.

“It's okay.” Cove's whisper was a comfort. He understood Baxter was scared, and as much as he wanted to say something more protective, the words escaped him. Instead, Cove leaned into Baxter and gently rested his head against his. Green strands of hair mixed with the black, creating an aurora borealis that neither of them could appreciate or notice. They didn't want to move too much; they both were concerned that any step would scare the other. It was a little ridiculous, especially in this position, but it's inevitable. Cove was content just resting here and watching the night together while comforting each other, but Baxter was not the type of man to ignore a situation like this.

Baxter, of course, being one of them more used to this, felt a little responsible for setting the situation right. If Cove rejects him again, it's no big deal. It wouldn't be the first time, and although Baxter was sure it would hurt more now, it was necessary.

The first time that he called Cove and told him his name fit his gorgeous face, Baxter's heart was not beating this hard, and his breath wasn't getting lost in his throat. Nonetheless, Baxter raised his chin and looked up at Cove.

Loose strands of green hair fell into Baxter's forehead when Cove looked back at him, which he pushed away by lifting his hand and gently brushing Cove's hair behind his ear. The gesture made Cove blush bright red, and his eyes widened slightly. He wanted to look anywhere except back at Baxter, but as Baxter’s hand lingered near his face, Cove felt like he was in a trance.

Baxter chuckled gently, it made him feel strangely proud that Cove was allowing him to do this. Their trust had grown exponentially, and now each other’s touch was more comforting than overwhelming.

For a moment there, in their own bubble, where the only thing in their sight was each other, the waves coming and going under them took away more than just worries and fear, but also the whole world.

Then, Baxter took a deep breath, eyes half lidded. His smile remained, but there was a little sadness in his voice. It was so uncharacteristic of him that it concerned Cove, but he quickly realized where it was coming from. Baxter was out of practice, his tone was fragile and delicate. To be honest, he wanted to look away and hide his face from Cove's expecting eyes, but Baxter persevered.

“Cove… I-...” After a moment of silence, Baxter laughed, Cove gave him a concerned smile back. “My apologies-. My usual ease with words is failing me right now, and yet I can't find a more proper way of doing this.” He took a deep breath once again, and although Cove wanted to say something, he let Baxter get his own thoughts off his chest.

“You said now it's different, that we have changed and grown, but, I still feel leagues away from what you deserve.” This made Cove frown, but Baxter continued. “I know, perhaps I'm just being cruel with myself. I can't tell you how you should feel, so the least I can do is be honest with how I feel. You deserve that. You don't have to feel any particular way about me or give me the time of day more than you already do. I just don't want to look at you like this and make you uncomfortable. I don't want you to appreciate something I'm not. I don't want you to realize down the line that maybe you hate me and all this time I have-...” 

Baxter now did look away.

The spell was broken. He lowered his head and looked at the sand instead, his body tensed up. So much of his life threatened to spill out, but his throat closed and suffocated him with his own fears and tears. He realized he was rambling hurtful things, the day had turned into a vulnerable sentimentality, and he didn't have the strength to keep his mind clear of all the brutal, intrusive insecurities that still hunted him.

Cove didn't move an inch. He was speechless, his own eyes were also on the verge of spilling tears. Baxter stared at their hands supporting their weight on the sand, millimetres away from each other. The water washed away diminutive pieces of shell that brushed his skin. The cold suddenly became so much stronger, overwhelmingly so. The urgency to run was almost uncontrollable, but his body also refused to move.

Baxter felt broken, exposed and pathetic, but for Cove, this was a sign that Baxter was taking him seriously. Truly, that's all he wanted. Baxter was flirty and intense, which came across as disingenuous, but this was his true feelings he was trying to communicate to Cove, and that was enough for him to see that this was the right choice. Cove found a deep understanding of Baxter's fears. He could relate to where Baxter was coming from better than he could understand most people. Cove found himself wanting to help, wanting to protect him back and make sure Baxter didn't torture himself for no reason. Cove knew it was easy to fall into that doubt, and he wanted to be there to fish Baxter out whenever he needed it, especially when Baxter felt lonely.

Cove was tired of people telling him who he should date and fussing over him. He found determination, Cove wanted to be himself and let Baxter do the same. The relationship they had was part of this, and so-

Cove rested a hand on Baxter's jaw. He was surprised, feeling Cove's gentle shaking, Baxter raised his own hand and laid it on top of Cove's, pressing it more against himself. It was warm, soft and all the permission Cove needed. He gave Baxter enough time to move away, but he didn't; instead, Baxter held him tighter.

Before long, Cove was cupping Baxter's face with both his hands, pulling him slightly up. Baxter followed his movements with zero resistance. Cove didn't give him too much time to assess the situation anyway, and instead simply gently pressed their foreheads together. The next second, he was leaning in, there was a slight tilt to his head, their noses touching, and a bare grace of their lips against each other. Slow and deliberate.

It was something extremely delicate, chaste. The touch was something painfully superficial, just the faint ghost of a kiss. It was full of doubt and fear. Of course, Cove felt like he was gonna faint at any given moment.

On the opposite side of the coin, this gentle suppression of Cove's desire might as well have been a crime on Baxter's head. It was even offensive. Something he had to immediately fix, and he did.

With a little smirk forming on his lips, he simply grabbed Cove's shirt and pulled him closer, making Cove fall into a more proper kiss. Baxter caught him, pressing against him without a single doubt in his head, they all left the moment Cove decided to take the first step.

Their kiss was a back-and-forth that got slowly more intense. They pressed against each other, yielding only slightly before returning with full force. Cove was forgetting how to breathe altogether, and Baxter was quite pleased about it. However, he also knew this was a delicate exchange. He wasn't going to push Cove more than he wanted to be pushed. Outside of Baxter's worries, Cove had absolutely melted into the kiss. Letting go of his own tension his body relaxed in a way that it had never before. It was something completely unfamiliar, and that was not to mention the goosebumps on his legs and the heat traveling along his stomach and chest.

Cove, without thinking too much, just kept slowly building pressure and pushing Baxter back. Cove was getting lost in his excitement and using more force than he needed. The truth is that he had not realized how much stronger he is, and the height difference wasn't helpful either. Baxter couldn't fight back well, and it's not like he wanted to either; however, he was having problems keeping his position. Baxter tried to wrap his arms around Cove's neck to give himself some support, but it was a little late.

Cove slightly parted his lips and opened his mouth, his tongue seeking warmth, but in the next second, there wasn't anything there. In fact, his hands were empty as well. Cove opened his eyes wide in surprise, only to see Baxter fall onto his back and into the water with a tiny slash. Cove was worried for a split second, but it wasn't long before Baxter was laughing.

“Are you okay?” Cove asked with a tiny smile and a very faint voice. It took some real effort to get it out of his throat, especially after seeing the seafoam wash Baxter's black hair, each strand taking the shape of the waves.

Baxter just simply hummed affirmatively. he kept his eyes closed, but when he opened them and saw Cove staring at him, he simply winked at Cove, which made him look away and try to hide his blushing face. It made Baxter laugh even more. Every little adorable snort only made Cove both more embarrassed and equally happy.

Baxter eventually pushed himself back up to sit properly again. The air wasn't as tense anymore, but neither of them was too sure what to say. It didn't matter anyway, there was a new peace between them and an understanding that could only be reached by touching something you never had before. The relief of curiosity being satiated and feelings being answered for.

“Sooooo-...” Cove started, dragging the word long in a playful manner. He was feeling better as well, and his voice carried his smile. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Baxter lifted his hand to his mouth, covering it, he faked thinking about it deeper than he actually was. He tried to exaggerate it as much as possible to not scare Cove.

“Is it still my birthday?” Baxter asked. Cove raised his wrist and looked at his own waterproof, digital watch.

“Yes.”

“Wonderful.” Baxter gently leaned against Cove, resting his chin on his arm while looking up at him. His eyes feigned innocence. “Then yes. I think it would be delightful if our anniversary was on my birthday every year.”

Cove jerked to look at him so suddenly, his whole body shook like a tiny earthquake, but Baxter didn't pull back. In fact, he got his arms under himself to be more stable while leaning on Cove, still looking at him with the same wide, playful smirk. Cove couldn't be more red, he asked for this and yet he knew it was going to take a long time to get used to it. That didn't mean he didn't enjoy it however, as this attention was a sweet dessert.

Baxter, in his own way, just promised they would be together for the long term. It was special and despite the playfulness, Cove believed it. He leaned in and gently nuzzled into Baxter before playing his own card which he was keeping carefully under his sleeve. Cove had a similar smirk, something rare for him, but he was confident he would get to Baxter now in the most simple way possible. He had a certain mischievousness that came with security, and Cove now didn't hesitate either.

“I love you.”

And it truly was the cherry on top. Baxter's eyes widened, looking at him with eternal disbelief, but the smile remained on his face. It couldn't grow anymore as it was physically impossible, so instead Baxter broke out into giggles.

“Please… Never take it back.” He pleaded in a strangely genuine way, like one would pray to God before lifting himself slightly up and meeting Cove's lips again. In their kiss, crowned by the moon, years of doubt and fear disappeared like the foam in the sea beneath them. They were very used to being alone, but even from this small moment that blessed the beginning of their relationship, they knew they could rely on each other. Perhaps that was a wonderful thing that came from knowing each other for so long and for another lifetime; they would never be apart again.