Work Text:
Tyler loved to give Ben gifts.
That had always been the most comfortable way for him to show affection. Kind words always felt a bit forced and physical touch could make him jumpy, but a gift was tangible and didn't require him to put on any sort of performance.
He was always sure to ask first, though, as he knew some people were uncomfortable receiving gifts. Before he and Ben formally got together, and even a little bit into the beginning of their relationship, Ben would turn down the offer of gifts.
However, he eventually did start to accept those offerings and continued to do so to the point where Tyler only asked as a formality, knowing it would be a 'Yes'.
A little over a year into their relationship, they hit a rough patch.
It wasn't anything crazy, to be clear. Tyler's mental health had just gotten significantly worse, Ben had his own demons that were bringing his walls back up, and their communication wasn't the best.
Tyler wasn't too worried about it until, for the first time in over a year, Ben said he wasn't comfortable with Tyler giving him gifts- Bought or homemade.
Tyler told him that was fine, doing his best not to show how bothered he truly was.
Did Ben not want him anymore? Had Tyler made him uncomfortable? Had Tyler been too much?
Time passed and their relationship was getting back to a better spot. Things felt safe again, and Tyler was finally learning how to deal with his feelings in healthier ways.
He was nervous to ask again. Afraid to seem pushy or to possibly feel the sting of that perceived rejection again. But, things were getting better. Ben had no reason to reject the offer again.
'No, sorry' Ben signed as Tyler nervously asked again. Tyler swallowed thickly, feeling like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him. He wanted to cry or scream- Probably both- But he did well not to show it on his face.
"Okay" Tyler replied with a weak smile. "I love you"
'I love you too'
When Tyler was alone again, the tears finally came. Ben didn't love him anymore. He'd been too much and now he was losing his closest bond.
Tyler winced as he caught himself in the bathroom mirror, eyes puffy and cheeks wet all because Ben wasn't comfortable with gifts at the moment.
Why can't I just feel things like a normal person?