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This is like her first year at SHIELD. The whispers when she walks through helicarrier, the predatory glances from R&D white coats, Starks sick jokes and Captain America feebly trying to comfort her. Honestly, the last is the worst.
If she wouldn't be so pissed to herself, she would punch Steve in face, but as a penance she lets him hover.
"You could not know that your bite is poisonous," Cap repeats for hundredth time.
She do not spare him glance. If your codename is Black Widow what happens to be also venomous spider, plus you are product of bioengineering how safe it is to assume that your bite is also poisonous? Now it seems so obvious that Natasha cannot help the urge to break in SHIELD medical bay and kill every doctor who evaluated her when she came over.
If for doctors lack of sick fantasy are forgivable, for her it isn't.
"I am sure, Hawkeye will get through this, he is a warrior"
"Rodgers, I need some time alone, ok?" Natasha stares him down, forcing to obey and leave her. Because really, other option is knife in kidney. He seems to get the message. And she has a visit to make.
"Hi"
He do not reply, just smile to let know that her entrance is noticed and appreciated. It takes some of her professional skills to keep her from vomiting or wailing or just putting a bullet between his eyes to end the misery. The arm is double the size, thank god it is covered with white cloth, but it is enough to see the lilac fingers and evil streaks of darkness following the blood weasels trying to overtake all his body. The smell is unbearable, sweet and nauseating despite best ventilation they can provide.
"Tony and Bruce figured how to stop it, but it will take some time to generate enough antidote" she admits diverting eyes from his. "Soon."
None of them mentions that he might not have enough time to wait for that soon. And the antidote will not help his ravaged body to mend, just stop further destruction. Both think about that.
"I am sorry I didn't came sooner. Was working as a lab rat, bitting left and right," she lies. Truth is that after they figured out that Clints disease comes from her bite during their fight in helicarrier and are not parting gift from Loki, she hid in lab, mindlessly doing whatever asked just to avoid coming over to infirmary.
"In last two days I have bitten more things than in my previous life together," she tries to lighten the mood. "there were no volunteers to be bitten so Bruce even warmed up pork shoulder to human temperature and I had to bite that. In case if the temperature and feeling of flesh was what cause poison to appear."
in his eyes there is slight disgust and laughter imagining infamous Black widow chewing on warmed up bacon while guys in lab coats watch. She forces herself to take his right hand – normal sized but laced with black patterns of death.
"they figured what causes the poison to appear – apparently I have to wish to kill the person I am bitting. And bite hard enough, nibble will not work. Then whoever I bit is dead 12 hours later."
"Why?" Clints voice are muffled as the toxins have worked their way to his throat too.
But she understands the question. "Why after three days in hell I am still alive?"
"Don't know. Fluke? The changes they made are degenerating? The wish wasn't strong enough? Some of SHIELDS special additives are working as antidote? Your guess is as good as mine."
Really, maybe the cocktail SHIELD uses after the ops to flush operatives worked on her bite too. It would be stupid from SHIELD medics to not count with human bites if their patients often have to smash teeth with their hands.
She is thankful for that, whatever the reason. They are not yet out of the woods but when she got message about antidote it was first ray of hope since the moment when Clint refused amputation of his left hand in order to not allow toxins to spread. Starks promises to make bionic one, even better then real didn't changed his mind. And now black lace covers him, like shroud.
It is him and it is her and they always are in their shit together, even if shit is him dying from her bite. Natasha raids room next doors and pulls another hospital bed next to Clints.
"You hog all blanket, so I'll have own bed," her smile is fragile, like first ice on river.
"I wish I bit Loki" Natasha admits.
She sings him songs in russian, the ones she never remembers learning from someone, filled with love, sorrow and fate until he slips in peaceful sleep. Long forgotten silenced phone flashes LED light in her coat pocket trying to inform anyone about new message.