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“Mom… do I have a dad…?”
Leona looked down at him, taken by surprise by the sudden question as she was busy cooking. Bao had left earlier to play with a few friends, and since his return he had been a little silent, until he shot that question.
“Bao…” She sighs “Is there any reason why you wanna know that, sweetie?”
Bao fidgets with his hands, anxiously “My friends were talking about their daddies, and I told them I only got a mommy… But they didn't believe me, and said that everyone has a dad… So where is he?”
“Oh Bao…”
Leona wipes her hands clean and sits on the stool next to him, reaching her hand to rub the little boy’s head.
“Baby, we talked about this before…” She let out a weak chuckle “It's just you and me, and that is completely okay!”
But the defiant child frowned in doubt.
“No! You’re lying! Everyone’s got a daddy, even you… so where is mine!?”
Leona’s heart quaked. That was a subject that always pained her to think about, considering how much his father’s situation affected them and left Leona hopeless back on the days Bao was all she had left. And she knew that at some point, he would have to learn about the truth.
But she doesn't think that right now, is the appropriate time to tell the truth to an 8 years old child.
Leona sighed and kneeled next to Bao, so she was at his eye level. She held his hands gently as the young kid pouted.
“Listen, Bao.” Leona spoke softly “Not always things are the way people tell you. It shouldn't matter if you have a daddy or not. What matters is how loved you are by the people you know..”
Bao sniffled, but remained silent.
“Not every family is the same, and that's okay! Some people only got a mommy, or a daddy… Some others have two moms or two dads… and some live with their grandpas or grandmas, or just with an older brother or sister.” Leona let out a gentle smirk “It doesn't make them less of a family.” She cups his hands gently.
“What you must understand… is that family will always be family if there's love involved in it. Got that?”
Bao nodded quietly, and Leona opened her arms to embrace him with warmth. His little arms embraced her back as he rested his cheek over her shoulders. A tender, sweet moment… but even so, somewhere inside Leona rested a suppressed, heavy sigh of worry.
–
It was around evening when Jun crossed the restaurant, after spending the entire day and afternoon out traveling through town and treating other fellow vets. When she arrives, she catches Leona cleaning the kitchen and getting ready to close down the shop for the night. She steps in before the dedicated chef turns off the lights.
“Leo! I’m back.” She announced, with a sheepish grin. “...Sorry I didn’t come in time for dinner… It was a busy day today, many patients to visit.”
“...Jun!” Leona turned around, her voice rather faint, but with an undeniable hint of comfort at seeing the beloved pink-haired lady. She reaches for a pan that she had just put away. “You’re fine, I can still make you something if you want.”
She lifts a hand. “No no no. I already ate something on the way here.” Jun gives Leona a gentle look. “No need to tire yourself out.”
“Oh, alright then. If you say so.” She looks away towards the small kitchen, somewhat distracted.
Jun sat down at one of the stools and watched as Leona finished putting away the last utensils in her kitchen, taking note of her quietness and weariness… not alarming, but somewhat unusual.
“Busy day today?” Jun asks.
“...Not quite.” She speaks as she walks over to one of the entrances of the shop, rolling up the banners hanging out. “Just…”
She puffs out some air, and doesn’t say anything else. The pink-haired vet tilts her head to catch her expression, a little more concerned now.
“...Did something happen today? Wanna talk about it?”
Leona finishes pulling down the shutters of the shop, and then she turns to face Jun. There was an unfamiliar tiredness on her eyes, revealing to Jun that there was something haunting her mind… making it restless.
She passes by Jun and taps her shoulder softly, letting out a weak smile.
“Maybe in a moment, dear. Let me close the shop first.”
–
A stretch, and then Leona sits down at the sidewalk, watching the bright stars twinkle above the dark, sleeping town. Jun joins her right after, and then she suddenly notices that Bao wasn’t there when she first arrived.
“Where’s Bao? Went to bed early?”
“Mhm. He went out and played with his friends today. Was almost dozing off when it hit 8 o'clock.”
They stayed there, quietly, letting the sounds of wind and crickets take over the air. For a moment, Leona reaches for the pocket in the apron, taking out a little blocky shape from it. A cigarette box.
She looks down at the box, and then at Jun “Oh, sorry… Mind if I…?”
Jun nods politely “No, not at all. Suit yourself.”
Leona doesn't have tendencies to smoke often, but it's noticeable that she most often does when she is feeling troubled, aside from rare moments late at night, when insomnia catches her and she is unable to sleep.
Leona takes one cigarette and then a lighter from the same pocket. Two flickers and then a spark, the tip of the cigarette flaring, the yellow light of a flame changing the hues in Leona’s eyes before being extinguished. She takes the cigar to her lips and drags the smoke in with one inhale, then puffs it out, throwing her tired head back.
“…Bao asked me about his father today.” She breaks the silence.
“Is that so?” Jun shifts over to listen.
“Mhm. I told him he doesn't have one, and that not having a dad doesn't make us any less of a family.” She sighs, lightly tapping the cigarette as its ashes fall out. “Bao doesn't need to know what happened to his father, or where he went to. He is just a child, none of this should be of his concern right now…”
“I see…”
Jun looks over at the dark empty streets, as if somewhere, she could maybe spot the ghost or shadow of Bao’s father who haunts over. Leona just looks down, another drag from the cigarette, and she releases another string of smoke.
Jun looks back at her “It's not really his fault that he wonders about that. Kids are curious, anyway. It's just inevitable.”
“I know, I know. I don't blame him for asking at all. That's just normal for a kid.” Leona rests her chin over her hand.
She sighs sharply. “I'm just… scared, of what that will make of him when he grows up. I'm afraid he might grow resentful over something that is out of his control… and I don't want that for him. I… don't want him to go look for his dad and try to find him… god knows where he is, I don't even know…”
The troubled mother leans forward, almost hunching, her tired eyes focusing on a spot on the ground below her. Jun imagined how difficult it might have been raising a child by herself, and the fear that someday, this child will grow big and independent to follow a road that a mother won’t be able to lead. A fear for the unknown future, possibly led by things far from her control.
Yet, it was hard to imagine someone as sweet as Bao leaving his always careful and loving mother. Jun could almost envy Leona’s patience and sickly sweet personality. To her, it is just pure cruelty that her past lover left her and their newborn son, while Leona had to carry all the struggles of being a single mother. A sting of anger pinched Jun’s heart.
“Leo, you’re a great mother to Bao.” Jun looks into Leona’s eyes “What happened to both of you wasn’t fair, but I don’t think it will make Bao leave you to look for his father. You gave as much love to him as you can give to a child. He will realize one day that this is all that he needs.”
Leona looks back at her, a shine poking from her deep black pupils. She lets out a quiet sniff, and leans back to correct her posture, looking up above at the stars.
“I hope so…”
Jun reached her hand towards hers, holding it tightly and interlocking their fingers together.
“If things get tough, you can also count on me to talk to him.” She gently smiled. “You’re not alone in this, Leo. Bao won’t have to worry about his father, and neither will you.”
Leona looks down at her hand, held by Jun. A shy smile escapes her mouth, and she leans her head to rest over the vet’s shoulder.
“...I’m glad you’re here instead of him.” She softly spoke. Jun felt a tender warmth on her chest.
Jun tilts her head to rest over Leona’s, caressing the palm of her hand with her thumb.
“Want me to stay over tomorrow for a little longer to spend some time with Bao?” She asks with softness.
“You don’t have to, angel. You got things to do…” Leona closed her eyes, feeling Jun’s warmth on her skin.
Jun smiles. “Not a lot, and some of them can definitely wait.”
They stood leaned against each other, watching silently together the night take over. Even with her worries, Leona could rest easy knowing that she is not alone anymore with Bao, and everything will be easier with Jun by her side to support her. She knows, in the end, that she won’t have to worry about being alone ever again.