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“I can’t believe we got invited to another one of Holt’s dumb parties,” Rosa groans.
“Oh, come on, it won’t be that bad. Plus, we’ll get to do some networking. And act all classy,” Santiago says.
The two women are sprawled out on the couch in Santiago’s apartment, half-eaten Chinese takeout boxes strewn on the coffee table in front of them. (“We’re such a cliché,” Rosa had noted as they were eating, and Amy couldn’t help but agree). They’re both detoxing after a long day at work – it turns out that chasing murderers is really taxing work.
Rosa is sitting with her back against the armrest and her legs extended along the length of the couch. Amy is sitting on the opposite end with her knees tucked into her chest, her hand resting comfortably on Rosa’s calf. Amy had gotten cold earlier, so Rosa’s leather jacket is now draped delicately around her shoulders (with the emphatic promise that Amy won’t get any Chinese food on it – it’s Rosa’s nice leather jacket, after all).
“You just want to suck up to Holt,” Rosa says dismissively.
“Please, there’s more to me than my burning desire to show off my extreme competence to Captain Holt,” Amy says.
“Right,” Rosa says derisively.
“Besides, I know something else I want to suck up on,” Amy says.
Amy wiggles her eyebrows at Rosa. That could be considered flirting, right? Amy thinks so for about half a second before her face contorts in embarrassment.
“That was terrible, wasn’t it?” Amy asks, sighing.
“It was poorly timed,” Rosa says, a grin just barely tugging at one corner of her mouth. “No flirting where Holt is involved.”
“Good point,” Amy nods. “But c’mon, Rosa. The party can’t be that bad.”
“It will be that bad,” Rosa says.
“Just think about it,” Amy says. “We’ll be hanging out with Holt’s serious adult friends, the whole nine-nine gang will be there, all of them will be interacting, and wow, this is going to be just as awful as last time, isn’t it?”
“Yup. We probably won’t be able to sneak off and make out,” Rosa says. “That dumb dog will probably find you and make you have a gross allergic reaction.”
Amy sighs. “Yeah, fair point. This is probably going to be disastrous. Again.”
“We can at least get messed up on Holt’s expensive wine. There’s a silver lining,” Rosa says.
“I’ll be your silver lining, baby,” Amy says, sliding her hand up Rosa’s long leg.
Rosa just shakes her head at that, but doesn’t stop Amy’s wandering hand.
“I’ll work on the flirting,” Amy says.
Rosa just grins as she leans in and kisses Amy on the lips.
The entire nine-nine gang has gathered around Sergeant Jeffords, who is once again dispensing wisdom about how to handle this evening’s festivities.
“Okay, guys,” Terry says. “I don’t know why Captain Holt has invited us to one of his parties again, but here we are. I’m going to tell all of you exactly what to do, and I want you to follow my advice this time.”
Everyone nods and listens carefully, all resigned to a boring and very mature night.
“Jake,” Terry starts. “Just don’t talk to anyone, man.”
“I’m not even offended by that,” Jake says, sounding exceedingly and typically chipper. “I’ll just stand in a corner eating horse dwarves.”
“Learn how to say ‘hors d’oeuvres,’ man,” Terry says, grimacing. “Alright. Hitchcock, Scully – they’re gone already. Should I be concerned about that?”
Everyone just shrugs.
“Alright, moving on. Charles, stick with food talk. Just don’t have sex with a woman twice your age this time,” Terry instructs. “Or with anyone, really. Talk about food without it making it sound erotic.”
“That’s tough, Terry,” Charles says. “There are few things more sensual than the food bolus sliding past the lower esophageal sphincter.”
“Why must you say the things that you say, Charles?” Gina asks.
“Right. Gina…” Terry says, at a bit of a loss.
“Wait, Terry, I got this,” Jake says, stepping in. “Gina, interact with all these middle-aged men as if they were a tuxedo-d up Jay-Z. That’s the level of class we’re aiming for.”
“Got it,” Gina says, eyeing the men around her in a new light. “I’ll be the Italian Beyoncé to their white Jay-Zs.”
“Borderline racially insensitive, but I’ll take what I can get,” Terry says.
Gina’s drifting out of the conversation already, her mind now flush with fantasies about Beyoncé (and Jay-Z, but mostly Beyoncé).
“Okay, Rosa and Amy – just play up the whole lesbian couple angle,” Terry says. “These NPR-listening white people love that stuff.”
“Wow,” Rosa says. “Using the queer people as set dressing. I’d expect nothing less from a straight guy.”
“You know I don’t mean anything by it,” Terry says. “I’m trying to get us all through the night without destroying Captain Holt’s home.”
“How dare you,” Rosa says.
Terry just gives her a look and Amy can’t help but giggle.
“Okay team, break!” Terry says, clapping his hands loudly.
Amy slides her arm around Rosa’s lower back as the two walk into the living room of Holt’s home. They can already tell that they’re drawing some stares.
“This sucks,” Rosa says under her breath. “You better stay with me the whole time.”
“Don’t worry,” Amy says, squeezing Rosa a bit closer to her. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving your side.”
“Good. Let’s get something to drink,” Rosa says, steering them towards the kitchen.
“This is so weird,” Amy says, walking away from a gaggle of Holt’s friends. “I don’t know if I can hear any more middle-aged people talk about how ‘cute and homosexual’ we are. Terry really wasn’t kidding about that.”
“I know. It’s the worst. Here’s what we’re going to do,” Rosa says, holding onto Amy’s arm. “We’re going to sneak upstairs. We’re going to make out. And we aren’t coming down until the party’s over.”
”What happened to not flirting when Captain Holt’s involved?” Amy asks.
“Holt’s not involved. Just his bedroom is,” Rosa says. “C’mon.”
“Whoa!” Amy exclaims as Rosa starts dragging her upstairs.
Nobody notices them leaving the party, except for one very concerned Captain Holt.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Amy whispers, but can’t help but chuckle as Rosa starts kicking doors in.
Amy makes a mental note to wear tight dresses around her girlfriend more often.
“Here we go,” Rosa says, finding Holt’s bedroom.
Rosa basically flings Amy down onto the bed before kissing her aggressively on the lips. Amy’s moans are muffled by the assault on her lips, and she wraps her arms tightly around Rosa’s slender body, pulling her closer.
Rosa shifts positions so she can scrape her teeth on Amy’s neck. Amy exhales harshly and runs her fingers through Rosa’s luscious hair. Rosa moves down to Amy’s cleavage, kissing at her clavicle.
Just then, they hear the door handle being turned. Santiago practically flings Rosa off of her. A sliver of light enters the bedroom and they can see Captain Holt delicately peering into his bedroom.
There’s a long pause.
“Oh no,” Holt says as he sees Rosa and Amy with their messy hair and smudged lipstick. “I’ve entered my bedroom at an…inopportune time. Please excuse me.”
With that, Holt leaves, shutting the door behind him. Rosa and Amy look at each other in stunned silence for a moment.
And then, Amy bursts out laughing.
“Hey, cut it out. Holt just caught us making out. On his bed!” Rosa hisses, punching Amy’s arm.
“C’mon, that was pretty hilarious,” Amy says, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “The look on Holt’s face was amazing. I mean, he’s still a great captain and doing that on his bed was incredibly disrespectful...”
“Shut up,” Rosa says. “But I guess it was pretty funny.”
The two sit there on the edge of Holt’s bed, their hands overlapping. Amy finally manages to calm her laughter down, while Rosa watches with the faintest of smiles on her face.
“Hey. I’m glad I’m here with you,” Rosa says suddenly. “I wouldn’t be having nearly as much fun if we weren’t, y’know. Together.”
“Aww, I wouldn’t be either,” Amy says, smiling as she rests her head on Rosa’s shoulder.
“Okay, that’s as much emotional clarity as you’re going to get tonight,” Rosa announces, her face defaulting back to its usual, stony expression.
“Oh, I’ll coax some emotional clarity out of you when we get back to my place,” Amy says.
Rosa actually cracks a genuine grin at that.
“That was pretty good,” Rosa says.
Rosa leans in to kiss Amy gently on the lips. They stay there for a moment longer, Amy’s forehead resting upon Rosa’s, their fingers loosely entwined, a rare moment of peace.
“But we should definitely leave Holt’s bedroom,” Rosa says.
“Yeah, definitely,” Amy says.
Amy and Rosa carefully make their way downstairs, not wanting to alert any fellow members of the nine-nine to the fact that they just snuck away to make out.
Just as they walk back out into Holt’s living room, however, Jake is all over them.
“Did Captain Holt just catch you two making out?” Jake asks, with unbridled glee. “On his bed? Sneaking away from everyone else just to make out, what, are you guys still in high school?”
“Okay, you’re the immature one here,” Amy says. “And how did you know that we were making out? I mean – that’s what we weren’t doing!”
Rosa rolls her eyes.
“Hey, I’m a good detective,” Jake says. “Messed up hair, smudged lipstick – oh, and I overheard Holt telling Kevin about ‘entering their bedroom’ at a ‘malapropos time.’ But I mostly figured it out with my detective skills!”
“Shut up,” Rosa says.
Jake just grins gleefully at the both of them.
“I can’t believe you two. Totally making the party weird for Holt,” Jake says teasingly.
“We are not making it weird!” Amy whisper-shouts.
“Oh, come on. Holt caught you two playing tonsil hockey on his bed. The one he shares with his husband, Kevin. I wonder if that’s the same bed they consummated…”
Amy pantomimes gagging and throws her hands up to cover her mouth.
“Gross, Jake,” Amy says. “I need more to drink.”
Rosa voices her agreement and the two make their way back to the kitchen to hopefully down an entire bottle of wine.
“Oh my god!” Amy slur-shouts as she stumbles through the doorway to her apartment.
“What the hell did you drink?” Rosa asks angrily. “I was with you the whole time.”
“I drank…” Amy pauses, thinking about it for a moment. “I drank a lot. A lot, Rosy.”
“Don’t call me that,” Rosa says. “Just go lie down in bed. I’ll bring you some water.”
Rosa walks over to the kitchen as Amy stumbles towards her bedroom. Rosa fills up a glass of water.
“You’re so sweet,” Amy calls out. “Taking care of me.”
Rosa sits on the edge of the bed that Amy has unceremoniously flopped, belly-up, onto, and forces the glass of water into her girlfriend’s hands.
“Shut up,” Rosa says. “I just don’t want you to die in a pool of your own alcohol-vomit.”
“Aww. You do like me,” Amy says, as if it’s a grand revelation.
Rosa tries to keep her stony expression steady, but a soft smile just manages to break through. Amy is awfully cute when she’s drunk (and all the times when she’s not drunk, truthfully). Rosa’s shoulders lose some of their tension as she reaches out and gently brushes a strand of Amy’s hair away from her face.
“Of course I do,” Rosa says. “We’ve been dating for, like, two months now.”
“Two whole months!” Amy exclaims. “I can’t even believe it. I just – I never thought you’d ever want to go out with me. Like, you’re so cool and tough and I’m just some weirdo nerd. You know?”
Amy’s speech is getting slightly clearer, which is some kind of an improvement.
“Hey, don’t say that,” Rosa says. “You’re cool and tough, too. You’re also a weirdo nerd, but I like that about you. And I know that you like that about you.”
“You don’t say a lot, but you always know what to say,” Amy says.
Rosa smiles down at Amy and strokes her hair.
“I’m tired!” Amy announces. “I’m going to sleep now.”
“Hold up,” Rosa says. “Let’s get that dress off of you first.”
Amy begins giggling uncontrollably as she plays with the hem of her dress.
“Are you being naughty, Rosa?” Amy asks.
Rosa rolls her eyes.
“You’ll be more comfortable in your pajamas. Come on,” Rosa says.
Somewhat awkwardly – and without any assistance from Amy, who mostly wriggles around – Rosa manages to get her girlfriend’s dress off. Amy’s skin is flushed all the way down to her sternum. Rosa, after wanting to rip that dress right off for most of the night, now wants a very different outcome – for Amy to get cozy and sleep off all the alcohol.
Rosa grabs Amy’s pajamas – just an old, oversized Mathlete t-shirt and knit jersey shorts – and works on getting them onto her girlfriend.
“Lift,” Rosa says.
Amy, thankfully now more compliant, nods and lifts her arms up as Rosa slides the t-shirt on. Amy mostly manages to pull the shorts on by herself.
“Thanks,” Amy mumbles.
Rosa nods and takes the time to brush another errant strand of hair away from her girlfriend’s face. Rosa then changes into her sleep clothes (which pretty permanently stay at Amy’s apartment, given how much time she spends there).
Rosa reaches over to the nightstand and turns the lamp off, leaving the room in comfortable darkness. She lies down next to Amy and slides an arm arounds her waist. Amy hums pleasurably and snuggles back up against her.
“I love you,” Amy mumbles.
Rosa pauses for just a moment. It’s not that this isn’t a loving relationship or anything, but Amy hasn’t ever said that out loud, and Rosa certainly hasn’t. Love hasn’t been an emotion that’s factored into very many of Rosa’s relationships in the past, so hearing those words now are new and maybe even a little exciting, though perhaps not unexpected.
“I love you too,” Rosa whispers.
It feels a bit like cheating to say that when Amy is drunk and near sleep, but Rosa figures it’s okay. It’s like practice - she’s not used to saying those words in that particular order – but with Amy, it comes pretty naturally. When they exchange those words when not drunk and tired, it’ll sound perfect.
With the steadying rhythm of Amy’s heartbeat, Rosa falls asleep easily, and sleeps well through the night.