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It’s been a long couple of days for Lucas. First it was Ella’s funeral, then the game of spin the bottle when Dillon and Freya kissed. That had been the worst part of it, seeing the boy he was trying so hard to hide his feelings for kissing somebody else. How he wished it had been him Dillon was kissing, and not her. Not that he was jealous or anything.
Seeing them both flirting with each other the next day had been hard, especially knowing Dillon had done it as revenge for Lucas telling Carter about them drinking the previous day.
Lucas was currently sitting on his bed playing on his phone when he got a text from Dillon, asking him to meet him at his house. Not wasting any time, he replies saying he’s on his way. He puts his trainers and coat on, but as he’s walking towards the front door he notices Leah on the sofa crying.
Lucas approaches her cautiously, knowing she doesn’t like people seeing her crying. “Are you okay? Sorry stupid question, of course you’re not,” Lucas said, sitting down next to her.
Leah jumps out of her skin, clearly not expecting anyone else to be home. “Oh my God, you scared the life out of me then,” she snapped. “Do you have to sneak up on people like that? I thought you were out.”
Well someone’s not in the mood for company, Lucas thought. “I’m going out now, I just wanted to check you were alright before I went,” said Lucas. “I know it’s been a rough few weeks.”
“I’m fine, you go out and have fun with your friends. I’ll be fine on my own.” Leah said. “It’s not like my best friends just died or anything.” Someone wasn’t in a talkative mood then.
“I don’t like leaving you on your own,” said Lucas. Even though Leah obviously didn’t want him there, he couldn’t leave her on her own in this state.
He quickly texted Dillon, explaining what was happening and he might be a few minutes late.
“I’m not gonna be on my own for long, Vicky said she’ll come over in a bit.” Leah said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Sorry for snapping at you, I know it’s not your fault.”
“It’s fine, I’ll blame it on the stress,” said Lucas, pulling her in for a hug. “Are you sure you're gonna be alright?”
“Yes, now go!” Leah said, pushing him away from her jokingly.
“I’ll be back soon, okay?” Lucas said, walking towards the door. He stopped before he walked through it, looking back to make sure she actually was alright.
Leah stood up and walked up to him, pushing him further towards the door in the process. “Out. Now!” She said as she opened the door and shoved him out.
Before Lucas could respond, he found the door slammed in his face. I guess that settles it then, he thought. He pulled out his phone to tell Dillon he was on his way, receiving a thumbs up emoji in response before he had a chance to even put his phone away. As he began the walk towards his friends house, he could feel the anxiety building. He knew now was a good time to tell Dillon how he really felt, Ella’s death proving to him that life was too short.
It wasn’t long before he found himself at Dillon’s front door, psyching himself up to knock. Just as he raised his hand, the front door opened to reveal Dillon.
“Wow, you’re eager,” said Lucas. “I didn’t even get a chance to knock.”
“Yeah, I saw you coming. I wasn’t sure whether you’d turn up or not, I thought you might be trying to avoid me.” Dillon said honestly. “I wouldn’t blame you, to be honest.” He stepped aside, allowing Lucas to enter the house while he shut the door behind him.
“I’m not gonna lie and say it’s been easy,” Lucas admitted.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Dillon said apologetically. “But I do think there’s things we need to talk about.” He walked over to the sofa, inviting Lucas to sit down next to him.
“Yeah, I’ve not been totally honest with you about things,” said Lucas, looking away and sighing.
“Take your time, there’s no rush,” said Dillon encouragingly. “No one’s gonna be home for a few hours, we’ve got as long as you need.” He had a feeling this was going to be something important, from the way Lucas was wringing his hands nervously. He had to stop himself from reaching out and holding Lucas’s hands, knowing that he’d probably run a mile if he pushed him too hard. “Whatever you say stays in this room, I’m not gonna tell anyone, I promise.”
Lucas looked back at him, knowing he was being sincere from the gentle smile he was giving him. If anyone knew how difficult coming out to someone was it was Dillon, after everything he experienced with his Mum and former best friend.
“There’s something I want to tell you, that I haven’t told anybody else.” Lucas’s heart was hammering away in his chest, he knew there was no going back now. He closed his eyes, unable to look at him. “I’m gay.” His hands were shaking, he could feel his eyes filling with tears, the palms of his hands sweating. The silence was deafening, he could feel the panic steadily building.
“Lucas, look at me,” Dillon said, as he finally reached out for Lucas’s hands.
Lucas looked up at him as he felt the tears fall down his cheeks, to see that Dillon was smiling at him. He took a deep breath, trying to get his heartbeat under control.
“You aren’t angry at me?” Lucas said, seeming surprised by Dillons reaction to his news.
“Why would I be angry at you?” Dillon asked. “You should be angry with me, using Freya to make you jealous. I knew you weren’t alright with me flirting with her, but I still did it anyway.” He could see that Lucas was about to say something, but he knew what it was going to be about from the look on his face when Freya’s name was mentioned. “There’s nothing going on with me and Freya, and there never will be.”
“But what about the kiss when we played Spin the Bottle?” Lucas asked.
Dillon suddenly realised that this is where the jealousy came from, all because of a silly game. “It was just a game, I promise you it didn’t mean anything.” Dillon said, hoping to reassure him that any feelings Freya might have weren’t reciprocated.
Lucas felt instant relief, now knowing that Dillon’s feelings for Freya were fake. “Does she know that?” Lucas asked, wanting to make sure.
“Yes, we’re just friends. I promise.” Dillon responded reassuringly. “Now, was there something else you wanted to tell me?” He struggled to keep his voice from sounding hopeful, knowing this had to come at Lucas’s own pace. Instead he smiled at him encouragingly, trying not to put any pressure on him.
Lucas nodded his head, he’d come this far so he might as well tell him. “I think I might like you,” he said, voice quivering. “As more than friends.” He looked astonished when Dillon beamed at him, as if all of his dreams had come true at once.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to say that to me,” Dillon said, trying to keep his emotions under control. “I feel the same way about you too.” He reached out tentatively, wiping the tears from Lucas’s face with the sleeve of his shirt.
“So what happens now?” Lucas asked, after a moments pause. “I’m not ready for anybody to know yet, I don’t think I could handle that.” The last thing he wanted was to be the talk of the village, especially when he was only just starting to terms with his sexuality.
“No one’s gonna find out, not until you’re ready. This all goes at your pace, there’s no rush,” Dillon said. “I’m not gonna push you, I promise. There is one thing I’d like to ask you though.”
“Okay, sure. What is it?” Lucas asked apprehensively.
He wasn’t sure what Lucas’s response was going to be to his request, but he thought it was worth a try. “Can I kiss you?” Dillon whispered. “If it’s too soon I understand, but -”
“Yes.” Lucas whispered, nervously. “I’d like that.”
Dillon reached out with his hand, gently placing it at the back of Lucas’s neck. He leaned in slowly, keeping his eyes focussed on Lucas’s face the entire time for any sign of hesitation. As he drew closer he could feel Lucas leaning in towards him, closing his eyes as he got nearer. The first touch of lips was soft, Dillon didn’t want to push things too far when Lucas had made so much progress in one day. He felt Lucas’s hand reach out to rest on his chest, gripping his shirt to pull him nearer. Lucas started to move his lips against Dillon’s, attempting to deepen the kiss.
Before things got too heated, Dillon reluctantly pulled away to make sure Lucas was okay. “How was that? It wasn’t too much was it?” He asked.
“Perfect,” Lucas said, with a dreamy smile on his face. “More than perfect.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear it.” Dillon said, beaming at him. “Whatever happens now, we take things slowly, okay? We don’t need to rush into anything you’re not comfortable with, I’m not going anywhere.” He reached out for Lucas’s hand, holding it gently.
“That would be great,” Lucas said smiling. “I’m happy if you are.”
“I’m more than happy.” Dillon felt like all his birthdays and Christmases had come at once, even though he didn’t celebrate Christmas. “Do you fancy a game of FIFA?”
Lucas nodded in agreement, following Dillon to his bedroom. They didn’t hear the knock on the front door a few moments later when Freya arrived, hoping to speak to Dillon.
Talking of Dillon, he felt an immense amount of relief, all the waiting and wondering whether Lucas returned his feelings was worth it. He knew Lucas had a long way to go, especially when it came to accepting who he was and being more comfortable in himself. This was going to be the start of a long journey for Lucas, and Dillon was prepared to be there every step of the way. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he was in it for the long haul.