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Sometimes there were days like this. Maybe it was something in the air, the turn of the weather – while it didn’t always happen on days when the skies were grey and rain heavy with the promise of falling, more often than not when it was dreary his telepathy tended to flare. He’s had them since childhood, since before he could properly put a name to what his gifts were, suffering from migraines with the turn of the weather that just made everything so– loud. The kind of days when he struggled to rein in his sphere of influence. Sharper, more invading of his own mental space. Charles could feel his telepathy bubbling out towards the forest well past the property line, starting to encroach on the neighbours and already poking at the occupants of the manor. All of him felt raw, and even lying in bed under the sheets the light was just a hair too much, the textures were bordering on just a bit too stimulating, no longer a distant sensation but at the forefront, each seam and stitch.
Need to go on a milk run we’re almost-
Haven’t seen Margaret look so happy since-
It’s almost ten I wonder if I should check in on him-
Please won’t they stop fearmongering on the news-
I wonder is it another one of those days-
If Summers has moved my stuff again I swear-
Charles, if you’re awake, join us for tea? We can discuss afternoon training.
Well. No longer could he pretend that his presence wasn’t missed – and it’s true that him and Erik were supposed to work more together today. He exhaled deeply, brows scrunching, and began the work of methodically reeling in his telepathy, feeling it compress back down tighter and tighter until his range shrunk down to about half the manor. As he did, he could feel the pressure build back behind his right eye, sharp and insistent. But he was no longer leaking his power, as much as possible. While he always had a large bubble of a range, if he didn’t have tighter controls on days where his head was killing him, it could get out of hand.
As a child on days like this his father would nudge him out of bed, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders. These were his sick days, his father said. Mother had them too. Though, thought a young Charles, not quite in the same way.
His stepfather’s approach wasn’t a memory he wanted to revisit now or in the future.
Sometimes these days could result in a bit of a blowback but– he has a handle on it. He’s fine. He needs to be fine, their timeline is already tight enough as it is with the ever looming encounter with Shaw creeping up on them
He threw on some clothes, simple and light linen, and a heavy cardigan that usually weighed him down in a pleasant way.
Someone should go get him should I go get him he’s probably fine just tired stop worrying over nothing he’d tell you right he’d say-
He should tell her he’s having one of Those Days. She knew how to help calm him down, mitigate his migraines, but lately… Lately things have been tense. Raven would get even more closed off if she knew that her thoughts were leaking in, more than normal, and on such days he didn’t want to risk mistaking what was spoken and what was thought, even with the runon-sentence-like quality unstructured thoughts tended to have. His brow twitched, the pressure behind his eye sharpening just a bit further as he further reeled things in, before he smoothed his expression best he could and left the confines of his room.
It’s fine. Today would be fine.
—--
Well. It was going fine, at first.
Raven was with Erik in the kitchen, the two of them in an animated discussion, Raven’s hands nearly flying around in the air with the speed of her gesturing. She was blue again, which was a bit surprising. It felt like more and more often he would catch her in her full form before she whisked it away into her more socially standard self. Erik looked engaged, but a little bit – sharper, today. Maybe after the success with keeping Sean afloat for the better part of an hour the day before he was more eager to jump into practice. Always pushing himself.
Almost as soon as Charles made it to the threshold of the door did he suddenly become the sole focus of Erik’s attention. He chose to attribute the increase of his pulse to his ongoing migraine, and definitely nothing to do with infatuation he had found himself falling into. There was definitely no blush that had started creeping up the back of his neck.
Raven took just a second longer to notice before trailing off, eyes flicking over Charles before a somewhat strained placid expression. Maybe even a little concern. There was a pause before shimmered back into her blonde self. The tension between them had been growing lately, and he couldn’t place where it was stemming from. Or, well. He had some guesses but–
He’s here he seems tense or is he fine but he saw is he going to say something is that why he’s tense that’s why isnt it I should say something Erik understands Erik gets it why can’t Charles-
Tighter in, tighter in. Edge it back in, Charles.
“We’ll keep talking later, Erik,” she said, standing up and beginning to move out of the room.
“You can stay for tea, Raven, we don’t mind.”
“I’d rather go and do something productive, Charles, thanks.”
Okay, he thought to himself. We definitely need to talk some things out. A pulse, behind his eye, sharp and throbbing.
Later. Later, we’ll talk and get things sorted out.
—
Erik did indeed just want to jump right into his own training, but he had some comments about the others. They still needed a lot of work – Hank’s chestplate that he made for Alex seemed to be a success, and Sean was getting somewhat better at flying but definitely needed more assistance.
The boys drifted in and out at one point during their second cup of tea, though they could hear them coming before they set foot in the kitchen. Or rather Erik’s second. Charles drank his slow, appreciating the taste but the heat was just a bit too much right now, and his stomach was unsettled by the pulsing in his eye. It had been getting progressively worse, more and more thoughts leaking in as he struggled to maintain a hold. Alex and Sean loudly talking and shoving each other over didn’t help with the pain, either, and Charles swore he could feel Erik becoming more and more concerned.
I swear next time I’ll knock him into the pool-
As if Sean could beat me in a raceHank has a better shot look at this scrawny-
Charles?
I don’t want to cook again just because Alex dibsed out last time doesnt mean he can keep getting away with this-
I wonder if Hank noticed I moved his shit again-
“Are you feeling alright, Charles?” He asked, hand twitching forward. Almost as if he wanted to wrap his hand around Charles’ own, but– that was just wishful thinking, Charles, don’t fall down that rabbit hole.
He’s paler than normal his cheeks dont have the same glow and his eyes are more unfocused what is it is he fine-
“You seem more… subdued. Did you sleep alright?”
Was it something I said yesterday or was it when I wait did he hear what I thought of last night shit wait-
“Yes. Yes, I’m alright, Erik, just a bit of a rough start to the morning.” I just wish they would be quiet oh god. He smiled and hoped it wasn’t giving away the fact he felt about two seconds away from puking. Or screaming. Or wanting to walk into the wilderness and become one with the moss and mushrooms.
Eventually, after the second time he flinched minorly as Sean shouted, Erik seemed to have enough of the noise and stood.
“Let’s move outside, Charles” he said, flitting his eyes across the telepath’s face. “It’s about time we focused on our own training, like some others might want to be considering.”
Charles slowly stood up, fingers pressed to the wood, digging into the grains. There was too many competing sensations – his migraine, the overlapping thoughts, the weight of his clothes, the table, the rain hitting the window. Everything was pushing into him all at once.
“Oh don’t be like that, man, we’re plenty productive, right Alex-”
Charles stumbled over his own feet, toe catching on heel, and Erik reached out and grabbed him, one hand tight around Charles’ wrist and the other on his shoulder and oh god he could feel Eriks thoughts like a blade through the pain and it was worryconcernangerinterest and Alex and Sean reached out as if they could stop him tripping and he could hear Raven in the west wing fretting and Hank in the lab berating himself and he couldn’t get anything right Why can’t he just understand Professor looks like he’s about to pass out Charles? Dude just tripped on his own feet Looks like he’s going to puke What’s going on Is that Charles? Get out of my head what are-
“Could everyone just BE QUIET FOR ONE SECOND–”
The pain behind his eye bursts and swallows him whole.
A period of time has passed. Charles knows this, because a moment ago he was standing, Erik’s hands on him, and now–
He’s sobbing, on the kitchen tile, rough gasping breaths. He’s pretty sure he’s cracked at least one fingernail digging into the grout, a small smear of blood pushed around. Distantly he fears it staining, a reminder of his shame here, of his collapse. Everything is too much, and he can barely breathe as his head feels as if it’s splitting in two. At this point he’s pretty sure his telepathy has ballooned out like an exploding mind, and more and more mundane thoughts keep overlapping and overlapping and pressing into his brain and he can’t stop it he just wants everything to stop oh god please.
Charles?
If there was a way to separate his head from his body he would take it in a heart beat.
Miss Johnson is going to make us late for-
I got the damn eggs what more did we need-
Goddamn communists trying to start another war-
Focus on me, Charles.
He thinks, maybe, he feels a hand land on the center of his back. But he’s pulled away again into the-
Go to sleep baby Mommy needs her me time-
I can’t stand another second-
Is this Charles? Charles? I can’t-
Need to tell him-
Just say you got the promotion and need to step away from home for a while-
Eggs, milk, bread, that cheddar Margaret likes-
The power he has no he’s in pain I need to help him Charles-
God just flip the channel if you don’t want to-
Charles.
He opens his eyes, realizing he’s been babbling every thought that’s been passing through his brain between the sobs. Distantly he knows he’s hyperventilating. There’s a flash of blonde in front of him, long hair, a small hand on his back, pressure firm.
Follow my breathing, Charles. You can do this.
Raven. It must be Raven. It couldn’t be Margaret won’t believe this anyone else, right? Or was it everyone else all at once? His grasp on this moment was slipping away.
A flash of blue scales and red hair.
Come on, Charles. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Follow me.
Slowly, they regulated his breathing, but the pain remained, twitching through him like a live wire, until – two small pills, pressed into his palm.
Pain pill. Should dull things for now.
He swallowed them dry and leaned deep into Raven’s arms, hands shaking as they grasped at her back, clinging on as he started to reel things back in a bit. Apparently most of the psychic backlash was kept to the mansion grounds, Erik hit the hardest at the epicenter of events. Alex and Sean had collapsed, caught the most off guard, though both were still conscious if dazed. He could feel Hank disoriented in the lab. Actively he tried to avoid Raven’s thoughts but he could feel the impact, pain and irritation and concern and worry and love and– stop it, Charles.
His range once again stopped at the mansion grounds. The pain reappeared back behind his eye, though he could start to feel Raven’s pills work – he didn’t risk further reeling it in on the chance he’d cause yet another incident.
It’s okay, Charles. Just focus on me. Let’s get you to your room.
—
It was a slow shuffle back to his bedroom, Raven depositing him on the bed as he curled beneath them. Still could feel too much of the sheets, but it was– quieter. Better for now.
Raven pulled the heavy curtains mostly closed, leaving just a sliver to light the room. She walked and sat on the edge of the bed. Charles could feel her smoothing down the covers.
The silence stretched on, just the sound of their breathing in the room and the light patter of rain outside. Even the voices in the mansion have dulled, though he can feel Alex, Sean, and Erik pulling themselves up and debriefing in the kitchen.
“...Charles.”
“I know, Raven. It’s okay.”
“You nearly took out everyone in the mansion, Charles. I haven’t seen you this bad since Cain–”
“Please, Raven.”
A long pause.
“You should have told me.”
“I thought it would be fine. I could handle it.”
“Well clearly not.”
“I just– there’s so much we need to do, Raven, I can't just- I can’t. I can’t just let a bad day put everyone else behind.”
He felt her settle deeper down beside him, one hand pressed firmly on his shoulder where he was cocooned in the blankets.
“You didn’t tell me. You need to talk to me, Charles. You can’t keep this to yourself.”
“We all hide in our own ways,” he said, a wobbly smile.
“Haven’t you thought that maybe it’s better not to hide?”
They sat in silence for a little while longer before she stood, straightening out her clothes. He could feel her gaze roam over his form before sighing.
“When you’re ready to talk, we’re going to talk, Charles. No more hiding.” She walked out of the room, leaving just the ghost of her impression behind.
“She’s right, you know.” Erik. At the doorway. Charles lifted his head to look at him – the german was definitely a bit rough for wear. He was pale and leaned heavily on the doorframe before wobbly making his way inside
“Hiding yourself away until you explode will only harm those closest to you.”
He walked into the room, electing to sit on the other side of Charles.
“Suppressing your gifts only leads to more pain.”
“Perhaps, Erik, but you must understand my perspective here-”
Erik placed a soft kiss on his forehead, one more just below his eye, before hesitating. Charles leaned that extra few centimeters forward, sighing softly into the kiss
God he’s beautiful so powerful what did he do Charles what are you doing to me-
Erik laid beside him on the bed, one arm slung around his waist, forehead nearly touching his own.
“We all have much to talk about, Charles. Don’t think you’re getting out of a scolding.”
“Can we please just savor this moment? My head is killing me.”
Erik laughed softly, eyes, closing. Both gently settled into warmth of a soft embrace, the rain softly pattering against the mansion, breeze gentle in the trees.