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Suguru knows that she’s lying to people.
Her soft easy smiles look authentic at first until you realise that they don’t crinkle her eyes the way the real ones do.Her practiced animated tone could be confused with overeagerness yet if you looked into any disney screen character you would hear the exact level of inflection.Her expert ability in knowing which jokes will land and when to laugh seems almost perfect until you notice her eyes scrunch up at every tone and every facial expression at the split second before an action should be taken.
He’s being mean,she’s not entirely lying,she’s masking . And he should know because he’s spent every moment around her simply observing her and every second he can spare to look into her soulless instagram page filled with the appropriate amount of content that wouldn’t make her a social pariah but also wouldn’t consider her a chronic user.
And even as he looked again at her highlights,hoping to find a glimpse of something that would peel off the infinite amount of layers behind the enigma that was her,he almost threw in the towel before he found a hint. Her favorite song,jamais vu and immediately went digging in every other social media platform.This seemingly insignificant clue led to a rabbit hole of information that his dear alice had left as a breadcrumb. Facade’s crack all the time.
***
She found it weird spending time with Satoru and Ieiri.Because wherever they were,Suguru calmly followed behind and she found Suguru weird.
Well weird is mean.He’s polite and never pries, yet she can always feel his phantom stare at the back of her neck,as though he is aware she’s playing a well rehearsed role.
Ever since they let her join the Trifecta after orientation day,she’s never being able to get closer to him. She’s obviously the closest to Ieiri but has spent enough time alone with Satoru that it's no longer awkward. However,in the brief moments that she’s with neither,whether it be for a quick snack run or simply studying,her heartbeat quickens and her palms retain their sweat . It's not like he does anything wrong. His nonchalance is a pillar that holds the group together and his kindness can be seen whenever he includes her in activities but it feels like he’s always aware of her well crafted persona.
Just like now,the tension is thicker than thieves and she has been reduced to watching reels while Ieiri goes for a smoking break and Satoru accompanies her with stale college gossip that he’s eager to share.
“How’s machine learning taking you?” She asks,hoping to break the glacial tension between them
“Interesting,hard but it's entertaining . And how’s political science taking you”
“It’s hard but I’m sure it's not as hard as your course.”She responds
“Don’t sell yourself short.I’m sure it's not as easy as you’re making it seem to be.I heard you’re getting a proper internship on the way,Congrats by the way,I’ll send a gift”He responds calmly.
He has a way of using his words,she noticed. An easy pattern recognition tactic that she repeated in social situations is to always sell yourself short. Make yourself humbler than you need to.Most people would simply begin speaking about themselves but never Suguru. He forces the spotlight back to you,whether you’re interested in it or not. Maybe that’s why despite being so different,he and Satoru mesh so well.
“Please don’t bother,it's only for the summer anyway”She retorts.
“Nonsense,Satoru and I had a look at the firm. It’s a serious deal to get even in any of their undergraduate programmes . So tell me…what would you like?” He moves closer to her and she hitches . Satoru and Ieiri can be convinced to not make anything a big deal but not Suguru.
“Okay…can you cook your meatballs and mashed potatoes for dinner next time?The ones you made on Satoru’s birthday.They were really good.” He smiles widely,the first big smile he’s ever directed at her.
“Of course.”
***
Suguru almost screamed at the top of his lungs when she requested dinner.Frankly,he didn’t expect her to have such a specific request,he actually expected a lot more badgering before she could give in but this was better than he expected. He genuinely wanted to make it a small party, maybe even invite his former high school juniors Nanami and Haibara but the more he remembers how sweetly and honestly she requested for the meal the more he only wanted to be at her centre of her attention.
So,respectfully of course,he asked Satoru and Ieiri to fuck off for the night and got right into making his studio apartment as clean as he could before he started prepping. And as he had removed the meatballs from the oven and back onto the frying pan for one last saute,the doorbell rang.
Dressed in a cute floral summer dress and sneakers with flowers and a bottle of wine,she looked achingly adorable.
“Hi,Suguru.I hope I’m not taking you out in the middle of something.”
“You actually arrived at the perfect time.Please come in.Are these mine? You shouldn’t have after all,this is all for you.”He tuts as he places the flowers in a vase.
“I couldn’t help it. It’s hard to come to someone’s home without a gift.”One thing Suguru is assured of is that her kindness is not manufactured.
“It smells lovely. Are Ieiri and Satoru coming by soon?”
“Unfortunately they won't be able to. Group projects have them busy.”Based on the way she froze slightly, Suguru assumed that they weren’t in contact today,good,it would make it easier to inform them of the lie.
“Oh,Well sucks to be them.”She shakily laughs out.
“Also,I have something for you.”He says as he has her seat at the dining table perfectly set and underneath his chair,unveils a stuffy. Specifically a stitch stuffy.One that she had constantly raved about in her private twitter account.
Which he got after digging.
He went scouring the internet to search between the other millions of people who named themselves jamais vu,he found an account that he was 80% sure was her. From the “voice” which seemed eerily similar to her bio in her instagram, to the profile picture which he noticed was from a gallery she had visited recently,and the biggest clue was her mentioning the coursework that he was sure she was struggling with in the previous semester.
He indulged in her world. He drank up her song recommendations. He drowned in her introspective thoughts and feelings and he genuinely enjoyed so much of her favourite childhood shows (hence the stitch stuffy).He loved to be the only one aware of this oasis filled with so much more life than what she showed. Without even making her image the focal point,she had managed to lure so many of her online mutuals to a community where she could freely express herself.
“Stitch? I mean I love it but how did you know I loved lilo and stitch. I swore I couldn’t have told anyone about it.”
“Lucky guess. Honestly I just remembered you liked stuffies and picked the first one that wasn’t just cute.”A carefully constructed lie. He didn’t want access revoked to the window of your soul so easily.
“Thank you. This is the kindest thing that’s happened to me in a while.”She smiles widely and her eyes crinkle.
And in that moment, he willingly opened his heart to her.