Chapter Text
Darkley’s school for Bad Boys was…an odd place to grow up. Instead of teaching the children how to save the planet they were taught how to wreck it. Where little boys were taught to scheme and plot and most of all: hate. Where children would bare their teeth and strike first before anybody could get them. Where any hint of softness and care was smothered under heavy, heavy layers of plastic bravado.
That’s where Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon spent his formative years.
Of course he had the ninja now and could proudly say he’d spent more of his life learning to do the right thing rather than stealing candy from babies. Heck, he even had his own students now- and they were far better than he was at their age. Not only in skill but in mind.
His students were creative, determined and most of all kind. So different from him. They were observant too. Or maybe Lloyd was just bad at acting. Though he tried his absolute best to hide the harrowing nightmares and pitiful exhaustion, they always caught on.
“Don’t burn yourself out”
“Take a mental health day”
“Consider seeing a therapist for the good of the merged realms!”
The kids were weirdly knowledgable about mental health. Was that normal? Were they giving seminars on mental care at schools now? How would Lloyd know? He was already 20? 24? It’s hard to keep track. Either way, he hadn’t been in school for a few years. Curriculums probably changed fairly quickly.
Besides, the emotional welfare of its students wasn’t exactly the priority at Darkleys.
It was a lot of the little things that Lloyd admired about his students. Their compassion, their enthusiasm, their bravery. Oh, how he envied their bravery.
Sora was transgender. Though she never explicitly “came out”, she also never made much of an effort to hide this part of herself from anyone at the monastery. She confidently wore the trans pride colours with, well, pride!
At one point, Lloyd had tentatively asked her how she’d gathered the courage to deviate from what everyone expected of her. Sora herself admitted it hadn’t always been easy but that she’s much happier when she’s not repressing her true self.
Really, that’s what lead Lloyd to the predicament he found himself in now.
Over the years that followed the merge, Lloyd’s appearance fell by the wayside. He’d never cared much for how he looked before but with the added stress of the 16 realms colliding together and his family missing, how he looked became a much lower priority.
Not wanting to bother going to a stylist with his go-to haircut guy (Kai) gone, Lloyd’s once chin length, barely combed haircut had grown all the way past his shoulders. Even with Kai back, he’d hesitated to cut it. There was something comforting in the way the hair cascaded across his shoulders like they were enveloping him into a warm embrace.
When Arin and Sora moved into the monastery, he at first wanted to chop it all off. But they didn’t seem to mind. Neither did Kai, Nya or Zane when they saw their little sibling again. So he decided to keep the long hair. After all, he’d seen more boys with longer hair over the years and fewer people seemed to cause a scene over it. He’d even dare say the look suited him.
This felt different.
Seeing Sora be so carefree with her gender expression got Lloyd thinking. Thinking lead to pondering which lead to planning which lead to something Lloyd never would’ve let himself consider otherwise.
Silently, he tiptoed through the monastery halls, making sure to step closer to the furniture to avoid creaky floorboards and seamlessly slipping past the old traps Master Wu had set up. ’Huh’, he mused, ’I have got to get rid of those at some point; I’m not sure Sora and Arin are ready for those yet’, he shuddered at the memory of that agonising week with the lasers and the springs and the chicken.
He’d made his way to Nya’s empty bedroom. He was lucky that Nya and the others were out searching for clues about their missing friends or else he’d have to explain why he’s rifling through the back of Nya’s closet. It wasn’t that he thought they’d be rude or degrading about it- not at all! Lloyd just couldn’t put into words what was happening.
He found it folded up with some of Nya’s older clothes that she hadn’t even worn since Lloyd was a child. It was a mid-length, crimson dress with silky fabric and the most intricate gold detailing along the hem. He remembered Nya didn’t wear it often, even recalling how she was planning on donating it as it didn’t fit her anymore.
Hurriedly, he grabbed the dress and made a move for the nearest bathroom. Leaning against the door, he stared at the dress again, ’FSM, what am I doing?’ Lloyd didn’t give himself much time to think. If he did, he would’ve talked himself out of it but he had to know. Something inside him just had to know.
Gone was the warm feeling of his cotton shirt, replaced by the cool sensation of the silk dress hanging off his body. It was a new sensation but, surprisingly, not an unwelcome one.
Lloyd looked in the mirror. The dress may have clashed against his blonde mop and the left sleeve may have been falling slightly but Lloyd couldn’t help but lose himself in the hypnotic spin of the skirt as he moved around the room, the gold embroidery glistened as it caught the rays of the overhead light- wow.
In that moment, something might have felt truly right, truly free in the way Lloyd saw himself. Free in a way he’d never been before. Free in a way he’d never articulated. Free in a way he’d never allowed himself to be.
That’s when the door opened.