Chapter Text
Seungmin was a pretty level headed person; responsible, calm, a bit introverted but a rational person overall. That's why he couldn't understand how it happened. He couldn't understand how he could've fallen in love with his professor. Even worse, he couldn't understand how he, a 23 year old, could've fallen in love with his 36 year old professor.
Chan is actually everything Seungmin would love in a partner: he's silly hot, he's attractive hot, he's kind hot, and he's sexy hot, which means Chan's a very kind person, who really worries about others, especially his students, that has his silly moments as someone who is awful remembering names, and is just too attractive; the “sexy hot” part only exists in Seungmin's imagination. But he's still his professor.
At least Seungmin is glad he only sees him once a week, as his subject was an extra one Seungmin could choose to get extra credits with. That week, however, Seungmin must've stared at Chan too much because, when he was leaving, Chan asked him to wait a moment, that he needed to speak with him. Once the classroom was empty, Chan started talking.
“You looked a bit distracted today, Seungmin.” Chan said. The fact that he remembered his name only fed Seungmin's delusions. The delusions he tried to avoid. “Did something happen?”
“I- uh- well…” Seungmin's mind worked faster than his mouth, and the words started piling up, which caused an internal malfunction. Usually, when that happens, Seungmin gets so red everyone can tell.
“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Chan said and, without missing a beat, put his hand on Seungmin's forehead, which only caused him to get more red, start sweating and feel like he's going to faint. “You do feel a bit warm… Why didn't you stay in your dorm today? You know I don't mind when you miss my classes, moreover if you're sick.”
“I-it's just that… since this is my last year I… want to make sure I pass everything.” Seungmin replied. It was a lame excuse, even for him; the semester was ending, sure, but there was still time until the finals.
“I know you're so hardworking, but you need to rest when you're sick, okay? Go take a nap and, if you feel worse, go to the doctor.”
“O-okay, thank you…”
Seungmin left as fast as he could, going straight to his dorm. He was actually going to do as Chan said, when his roommate barged inside the dorm, as he always did.
“Hey, Seungmin!” he said, cheerful as always, Seungmin couldn't even be mad at him. “I know you always say no, but there's this party tonight and the place is so cool. I think you could like it.”
“… Okay, sure, Felix.” Seungmin replied. He really, really didn't want to go, but he thought he could clear up his mind if he went.
“Oh my, really?! You're gonna have so much fun, I promise!”
Seungmin wasn't hopeful, and wanted to tell Felix that he changed his mind and wouldn't go, but he couldn't. When it was time to go to the party, five minutes after getting it, Felix remembered something.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Some professors are coming too.”
“And you're telling me this now?!”
“Come on, it's not that big of a deal. The professors are chill, it's going to be fine.”
It would've been rude if Seungmin had left right there and then, so he stayed, praying that Chan wasn't one of the professors. Felix quickly got lost among the crowd, while Seungmin stayed in a corner, near all the food and drinks. He wasn't planning on drinking, but something possessed him; he was already tipsy by the second drink, and then he spotted Chan across the room. It took Seungmin a few seconds to fully register what he was seeing, and only did when Chan was close enough.
“You're sick, Seungmin, what are you doing here?” Chan asked. He was genuinely worried, even if Seungmin wasn't sick at all. He was lovesick, but that wasn't important.
“Oh, I… I was feeling better, and my roommate really wanted me to come.” Seungmin replied. The alcohol made his brain work at a slower pace, so he could speak with Chan normally.
“But-”
“But I promise to leave if I start feeling worse. And I'd go to the doctor.”
“Okay, okay. I trust you.”
That little interaction was the last thing Seungmin remembered before blacking out.
Even if he seemed to control his emotions, he was way too nervous just because Chan was there too. What if he spotted him flirting with someone? He knew he'd feel jealous, much to his demise; after all, he was still in denial about his feelings, so he kept drinking. He drank until he blacked out.
Seungmin woke up feeling a bit heavy. He remembered a bit of what had happened last night; Felix took him to the party, he talked with Chan and then had a few drinks. He also remembered he was supposed to be in class, but he didn't care too much about that.
While trying to remember more of the previous night, he realized he didn't know where he was, or how he ended up there. Right before he started to panic, he saw a note stuck to the nightstand, so he grabbed it and read it: “You passed out last night so I brought you to my house. I already told your teachers you couldn't come to class today, you don't need to worry about that. You have breakfast inside the fridge. Chan.”
“Why would you even bother…?” Seungmin said, trying to decipher what the crossed out words said.
Seungmin decided to go out to the kitchen and grab the breakfast Chan mentioned. He guessed he slept in the guest room, that Chan's room had to be the one with the door closed, and that his house wasn't decorated at all. In a weird way, Seungmin expected Chan to be married and have kids, he even thought the guest room could've been one of his supposed kids' rooms, but there weren't any pictures, anything, not even of himself, or his parents. How could such a lively person live in such a dull house?
He ate the breakfast Chan had prepared for him and, since he didn't want to be there when Chan returned from work, he decided to leave, not without writing “Thanks” on the back of the note.
The next day Seungmin had his class with Chan, he found another note stuck to his table: “The jacket you were wearing at the party was so cool. Where did you get it?”. It wasn't signed, but Seungmin knew it was from Chan. He knew because of the handwriting, and because Chan always comes in early, leaves all his stuff and returns five minutes before the class starts. Seungmin arrives shortly after Chan has left his stuff, and he's always the first to arrive. He didn't really know what to do, or to think. Was Chan aware of his very obvious crush on him and was trying to feed his delusions even more? Was it really genuine? At the end, he decided to reply: “I got it from the thrift store downtown. They have so much stuff there, you should check it out”. He didn't want to give it to Chan directly, so he hid it between the pages of the homework he had to turn in.
The next week, Seungmin arrived even earlier to make sure Chan hadn't arrived before him, and stuck a note to Chan's table: “The breakfast you prepared for me was amazing, but I don't know what it was. Mind sharing the recipe?”. Seungmin didn't know where that courage was coming from, but he didn't mind it. He had accepted his feelings for Chan the day after the party. Was he still embarrassed? Sure, but he knew he couldn't help it. He was getting closer to Chan this way, too, so maybe, just maybe, his delusions wouldn't be just delusions anymore. He left the classroom as fast as he could before Chan could see him and, after class, his intuition told him to check the reviewed homework from the prior week Chan had returned to them. And there was the note, with the reply written on the back: “It was just a prepared meal from the store ㅋㅋㅋ. I'm glad you liked it, though”.
And just like that, something special between them started.
“I need you to help me catch Jeongin cheating on the next test”
“I'm not snitching on him ㅋㅋ. You already know he's cheating”
“Please tell Minho to give us our tests back, it's been three months”
“He hasn't given them back yet?! I'll go scold him after class”
“I'm curious. Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?”
“Did you search on Google ‘interesting questions to get to know someone’? ㅋㅋㅋ Dogs are my spirit animal”
“Would it be too much if I asked you to show me our final exam?”
“You didn't help me catch Jeongin, so you don't get the questions ㅋㅋㅋ”
The next week, Seungmin didn't find any notes stuck to his table. He looked around, on the floor, in other tables nearby, but nothing. He returned to his seat, wondering why Chan hadn't left a note that day. He was a bit, no, he was really sad and couldn't focus on the lesson at all but, before he left, Chan asked him to wait a moment, that he needed to speak with him. Once the classroom was empty, Chan started talking.
“I, uh, just wanted to tell you something.” Chan said. There was something on the way he said it that worried Seungmin.
“Oh, what's wrong?” Seungmin asked. He was still nervous about talking directly with Chan, maybe more than before, but he got used to it.
“I… God, there's no way I can't make this sound inappropriate…”
“You're worrying me, Chan-”
“I like you, Seungmin. I mean, I really like you. At first I thought it was the rush of finding someone who's just as passionate about chemistry as me, but I like… I love everything about you. You literally match my energy, and I think I match yours too… I-it's okay if you think this is weird, because it is a bit weird, but… I don't know, I just think you're amazing, Seungmin.”
“… I really want to kiss you right now, but I don't know how to.”
“W-well, it's okay, I don't know how to either.”
“You're kidding.”
“I'm totally serious.”
“Then we can practice together… B-but I think it's still too soon for that.”
“Yeah, I think so too.”
“Is hand holding okay?”
“Is it okay for you?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then it's okay.” Chan grabbed Seungmin's hand. They weren't going anywhere, not yet, but he just wanted to grab it, to hold it. “Do you want to go grab lunch?”
“It's not even noon yet, Chan.”
“Well, it's never too early for lunch. We can get two or three sandwiches from the cafeteria.”
“We're going to the cafeteria, where most of the students and teachers go after class, holding hands? So everyone can see we are a thing now?”
“We can hold hands until we reach the cafeteria, buy our lunch and then hold hands again when we leave.”
“Okay, fine. But you're the one paying.”
They forgot about their plan midway and entered the cafeteria still holding hands, but it's not like anyone would care anyway.
They started with hand holding, then they moved on to hugging. Then they started to stay in the classroom after class to cuddle and talk about their week, and finally, they started kissing.
This would end here and it would be a happy ending, if it wasn't for Jisung, Seungmin's step brother and second roommate.
When Seungmin told Felix he was ecstatic; after all, it was Felix the one who listened to Seungmin's rants about how madly in love he was with Chan. But Seungmin never even hinted that he was interested in Chan to Jisung. However, since their graduation day was in less than a month, he figured Jisung had to know.
“You're dating Chan?!”
“Jisung, listen-”
“He- he was thirteen when you were born!”
“I know, but-”
“You need to break up with him, this is not good for you.”
“I'm not going to break up with him! Are you crazy?! And you're dating Minho, how is that different?!”
“He's twenty seven, Seungmin! Look, forget about even thinking of me until you come to your senses, I can't deal with this right now.”
“Jisung-”
Without another word, Jisung left the dorm, slamming the door. Since that conversation, Jisung started actively avoiding Seungmin everywhere: in class, inside the dorm, in the cafeteria, everywhere.
One week before graduation, after class, Chan noticed Seungmin was off.
“Are you okay, Minnie?”
“… Can I say I'm not?”
“Of course you can, what's wrong?”
“It's just… I had an argument with Jisung…”
“Sorry, who was Jisung?”
“My brother… One of your students… Minho's boyfriend?”
“Oh, Jisung. Yes. Sorry.”
“He… doesn't like that we're together, and is refusing to talk to me until we break up… He's the only family I have left, I don't want to lose him too.”
“I see… I mean, if it would fix it we could break up.”
“No, don't say that! I want Jisung and I to be okay again, I know he just wants to protect me, but I don't think he's in the right. I just want him to understand that I really love you, that nothing of this is forced in any way…”
At that point Seungmin was crying, and Chan just held him closer, stroking his hair trying to calm him down.
What they didn't realize was that the door was still open, and that Jisung was listening to their conversation. He forgot a notebook under his table and wanted to get it back, but decided to wait until Chan and Seungmin were done being clingy.
When they stay after class, Seungmin is the first one to leave the classroom, and when he did, he saw that Jisung was waiting for him. Before he could say anything, Jisung hugged him.
“I went too far, I'm so sorry.” Jisung said, Seungmin just hugged him back. “It's still a bit weird for me, but if he really makes you happy, I'll be happy for you too.”
“It's okay, Jisung… I know where you're coming from…”
“But I shouldn't have been that harsh, I should've let you talk, I kept interrupting you…”
“Hey, you apologized, and that's what matters, okay?”
“But… but I don't want you to hate me for this… I can't lose you too…”
“I could never hate you! We… we are really broken, aren't we?”
“… I'll do my best to fix myself.”
“We can work on that together, Jisung.”
“Yeah, we can… Now that everything's sorted out… Do you want to prank Minho and Chan during our graduation?” Jisung started whispering.
“Oh my god, yes. I'm listening. Wait, let's go to the dorm, Chan's still inside.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“What?”
“Nothing!”