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“Cooking isn’t a mere job. It’s not just an activity you do to live. It’s what sets us people apart from mere machines or even animals. It’s a part of what defines us, a special activity that only we do in our identity as people; as human beings.”
“Cooking is so much more than that. It’s an art. A show. A piece of culture. A piece of artistic science and crafting to create something that is appealing to the eyes, amazing on the lips, and pleasing to the body. It’s an intricate activity that isn’t just some daily chore that you have to do to get by. It is an act of creativity that can be used to test the limits of the human mind beyond normal limits; even much more so than academics. Hell, at the high level, it may be even more intensive than fighting. I mean, for one, I know a guy quite well who can agree to that!”
“Oh, and who’d that be? Do you have a life partner now, Escoffier?”
“Phwegh! C-Charlotte! I never said that nor have I ever implied it! You’re straying off-topic again!”
Escoffier wiped the stain of tea from her lips, coughing a fair bit as Charlotte sighed at her apparently failed attempt to get more out of the ever-so-elusive chef. “Come on, Escoffier. Celebrities and famous people all at least give us some spicy stuff about them every once in a while. Can you be open with me?”
“Heck no! Cooking is one thing, but I’d like to leave all aspects outside of it away from all those high-class talks and stuff.” The chef retorted with an annoyed huff. “Now, if that’s all, shoo. I’m on my break and I don’t like being disturbed.”
“Aw, no more extras please?” Charlotte pleaded.
“You want a glass of shellfish eyes with that?” Escoffier shot Charlotte a side eye, to which he reporter shivered.
“O-on second thought, I guess that’s a wrap!” She quickly got out of her chair and clasped both her hands together, putting forth a small bow. “Thanks for the answers! I’ll be sure to make good use of these and I’ll be in touch if I have more to ask!”
“Yeah, yeah, just make sure not to disturb me, I am not a free person, even if I don’t work at the hotel anymore.” Escoffier replied as Charlotte turned around and dashed off, her tail flicking in the air and picking up the tea cup again. She shook her head, her hat swaying with the wind ever so slightly as she took a sip.
“Ah, who am I kidding? She’s going to keep haunting me until I either give an answer or accidentally answer her somehow someway. Charlotte’s a proper reporter, but she sure as hell is persistent.” She talked to herself, her tail putting her cup back down on the desk. “Ah, whatever, as long as it doesn’t do much to harm me, I’ll not bother. Too much to think about.”
“And what is it you’re thinking about?”
The voice startled her slightly, yet the familiar voice immediately told her who it was behind her, and Escoffier relaxed almost autonomously at the realization. She huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair from her face as she turned around. “And who are you in a position to ask me what my inner thoughts are, Aether?”
The traveller chuckled, waving to her as he walked over, stopping beside her. The chef’s strict demeanor dropped, revealing a softer side as she smiled at him.
“I’m me, and I think I can have that right if you’ll let me?” He asked with a smile of his own.
“.....oh, you’re unfair.” She rolled her eyes, her tail gently smacking his cheek.
“Good to see you too. May I?” He asked, motioning to the empty seat in front of her that was previously inhabited by Charlotte. Escoffier nodded, the blonde traveller sitting across her.
“Took you a while. Did something happen on the way?” She asked. “I was betting you’d be back before Charlotte left but, with how things turned out, I think it’s for the better that you came back a tad bit late and missed her.”
“Yeah, a commission took longer than expected. Something about a cargo balloon going the wrong way. Charlotte interviewed you, you say?” He asked, turning to her.
“Heh, she did, yes. While I am appreciative of her efforts in dish analysis with her detailed reports, she can be quite a……persuasive one in reporting.” Escoffier replied, pouring Aether a cult of tea and pushing the saucer to him.
“Thanks.” He nods,taking a sip. “That’s just how she is for her job, you know. I mean, look at me. She’ll jump at any chance she gets to interview me, anytime, any day.”
“Hah. That is actually true.” Escoffier laughed slightly. “I suppose that makes us quite well-known in our own right, though it isn’t necessarily a good thing for me.”
“Hehe, there are perks to it too, but I’m not one to gloat about it. In fact, I still find it surprising sometimes how far my name has gone.” Aether admitted, crossing his arms. “Then again, do what I do and that’s bound to happen. It’s not like I’m trying to spread my name far and wide across Teyvat, it's kinda more of a side effect.”
Escoffier turned to him, her eyes watching his for a brief second or two before she gave a small smile. “I guess that’s kinda why you seem so relatable to me after all. We pursue our own goals, only getting famous as a side effect to what we do.”
“Indeed, but hey. We live in the moment sometimes.” He chuckled. “Anyways, how bout you? Your day been good?”
“Sorta? The kitchen at Fleuve Cendre is being renovated due to a collapsed pipe, so I’m on break while they make sure it's fit for working.” She put a hand on the table, leaning on it with her chin forwards. “I was thinking of going into the teapot to take a look and see what other recipes I wanna test, but it’s about time for you to be done so I thought I’d wait here.”
“You could’ve just gone ahead. I wouldn’t mind.” Aether replied, shrugging. “It’s not like I gave you a key just to control when you come in and leave.”
“True, but etiquette is still etiquette to me.” She crossed her arms, leaning back on her chair. “Now, you sound like you have something more to say to me?”
“Yeah actually.” He nods. “I do have something for you, though it's more a request from Navia to the both of us.”
“From Navia?” The chef raises an eyebrow, her tail rising up slightly in reaction. “And what would that request be, my dear traveller?”
“It's more of a small request from her with regards from the Fontainian Culinary Arts school. I’m sure you're aware of it?”
Escoffier scoffed (No pun intended). “Yeah, who doesn’t? It’s a famous place that produces quite a lot of decent cooks, though you don’t need to go there to be one. Case in point, you.”
“Ah, thanks for the compliment I guess.” He rubbed the back of his head. “But for this case, Navia is asking if we can help them, per se.”
“Help them?” She leans forward on the table again. “With what? I’m no teacher.”
“She says something about a live kitchen test.” He turned and leaned on the table as well on his end. “I’ll just relay what she told me. Fontaine’s School of Culinary Arts are holding a new class for their students that are about to enter their final year in the school. Apparently, according to them, the students having no experience in working like a proper chef with a team can be a shocker when they graduate.”
“And that phase is? What does it have to do with me?” Escoffier asked, raising an eyebrow.
“They’re going to hold a temporary event of sorts for the students to experience what cooking feels like as a job and not as a class.” Aether uses his hand to explain. “The event is basically a restaurant run by the students as chefs, with a senior chef overwatching them and making sure everything runs perfectly. I think you know the gist of what they want you to do?”
Escoffier blinked a few times before huffing, crossing her arms and leaning back. “They want me to be the head chef of that gaggle of students. Of course, who knew they’d do that. Ugh…….”
“Hey, I did tell Navia that you have no obligation to do so if you have better things to do.” Aether reasoned. “I’m not one to say yes on behalf of others without telling them.”
“....heh, thanks, Ae. You really do understand me.” Escoffier sighed, leaning on the table with her arms folded on top of it. “Well, Navia really knows what instances I can’t say no to. I suppose I won’t have a choice but to go.”
“Eh? No choice?” Aether raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I don’t.” She lifts her head up and puts both her hands on her hips, still seated in front of him. “If I don’t do it, someone else will, and where’s the guarantee that whoever that is would have the same high standards in cooking as I do? The world of Gastronomical Arts is vast and deep, and if someone with only one foot in teaches them, it's a disgrace and humiliation to Fontaine’s Culinary Culture. I will absolutely not let that happen on my watch.”
“Ah, I see how it is.” He nods with a small smile. “How noble of you.”
“It’s not like I wanted them to succeed and not fail to the bottom of the abyss or something, I’m doing this just so Fontaine’s culinary legacy can keep going.” She made a cute pout before standing up. “Anyways, seems like I have something to do in the end, might as well. You coming?”
“Hehe, yeah, yeah.” He gets up as well, finishing the tea she poured for him and placing the cup on the cafe table. “I’ll go with you then.”
“Duh, isn’t that obvious?” She gave a small eye roll. “You got me into this mess, so you’re going with me until I’m done. No backing out.”
“Yes, chef.” He gave a playful salute, one that made her pass him the faintest of side smirks as the pair walked towards the event site.
Escoffier nods, walking for a step or two before pausing. “You gonna pull Paimon along? Surprised she isn’t with you.”
“We’ll meet her as we pass through. She was busy talking to Lynette and Lyney about a few things.” Aether replied. “Maybe we can ask her to serve as a customer in the event.”
“A good idea.” She smiled. “That’ll really give those bozos a test.”
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------
“There’s no guarantee she’ll agree to this. Not someone of her status.”
“Yeah, but she’s the best there is for this. If we can get her on board, it’d be huge for this batch of students!”
“I don’t know man, something tells me this idea is a little too far fetched.”
The pair of men sighed at one another, looking at the kitchen before them. It is quiet with only the pair inside, yet it looked ready to house 6 or 7 cooks at once. 3 Ovens, twice as may stove tops, many pots and pans of various sizes, even a pair of grills and multiple stations for cooking. The place was fit to be inside of a large grand restaurant, churning out delectable meal after delectable meal, one right after the other in cycle. It even had Cryo-powered refrigerators off the side near the chopping stations, keeping items fresh and meats frozen until they are needed.
The pair of men; managers of the special cooking class, mulled other options over. Yet none of the other ideas seem equivalent to the idea of getting Escofier on board. Hell, there’s no idea that even comes close.
“Well, I suppose maybe we can find another chef to fill the role?” One of them asked, rubbing the back of his head.
“Maybe, but who?” The other replied. “No one’s really better for this role that Escoffier herself.”
“So? Did any of you two nitwits even think that it’d be better for you to actually find and talk to me directly rather than discussing between yourselves in this kitchen like a pair of wusses?” A strong female voice sounded from behind them, thoroughly annoyed.
“Wah! C-chef Escoffier!” The pair swiftly turn around, trembling ever so slightly at the sudden appearance of the rather imposing chef, putting on an annoyed look on her face with both hands to her hips that only makes her look more boss-like. “We apologize! We uh……weren’t sure you’d be available and on board so we uh….were rather hesitant to ask.”
“And you think that just talking uselessly in this kitchen will get you anywhere? Are you even qualified to run and manage such an idea?!” She scowled at them, making them question whether or not her being here is a blessing or curse for them. “If you’re worried about being turned down, they you shouldn’t even be in the position you cowards are in! Give me a break!”
“Uh….we…..uh……” The pair were quite so utterly beaten down with words, they didn’t know how to properly respond to her.
“Oh quit the confused act. I’m already here with my Sous anyway.” She scoffed, lowering her tone at long last.
“Your Sous? You mean Sous Chef?” One of them raised an eyebrow.
“Obviously.” She rolled her eyes.
“Who-” The pair looked behind, only to find their mouth agape when the only other person besides Escoffier is the legendary traveller himself, taking a look at their Cryo-powered refrigeration unit. Most people in Fontaine know who he is, and also know of how he is perhaps one of the most multi-talented individuals in Teyvat.
His cooking is one of them. And if Escoffier can proudly call him as her Sous, he’s really good.
“....isn’t that-”
“Yes, it's him. I brought him along with me to help in this, though I’ll be doing most of the scoring.” She added, arms still crossed at them. “So, are you just gonna stand there?”
“Y-yes, but chef, the students aren’t supposed to be here in another hour.” One manager says, rubbing his head.
“What are you, idiots?!” She snapped at them, making the pair shudder. “A good kitchen always has properly calibrated instruments, measured before a service is carried out. A fact that should be standard knowledge for you.”
“Huh? B-but…it wouldn’t matter too much, right? Like, it-”
“It does, you blithering idiots!” She made them go quiet with another hard reply. “All the equipment needs to be stress tested and accurately refined so that it can function exactly at the stated values. Ovens can’t be even one degree off, and stoves must not have leaks or inaccurate fires. Even one slight missed calibration can ruin a dish from being perfect to being fuckall.”
“Y-yes, chef!” The pair simply agreed.
“Alright, now let me take a look. If you want to run a kitchen service like this, you want the equipment to be good for a reason.” Escoffier says as she approaches one of the ovens and takes a look. “The function of this event as a whole is to see how well the students fare, right? Well, no chef can make good food with bad equipment; even me. It won’t be a fair test to them if we don’t get the equipment calibrated properly so that the test becomes valid. Am I clear?”
“Ah…right, right, yes chef.” The pair nod, going to the other ovens and cranking them up so that Escoffier can make sure they’re all fit.
“Aether! Can you be a dear and check the refrigeration units, make sure the cryo emitters are working properly.” Escoffier says, the traveller, who has been waiting in the sidelines, responding with a nod.
“You got it.” He says, Escoffier nodding in response to him.
“As I suspected.” Escoffier huffed. “This oven’s timer is perfectly set, but the temperature is not even. The back heat source is misaligned.” She turned the oven off.
Before she can modify it though, she would need to cool the oven off first. Luckily, Escoffier comes with a Cryo vision, which makes things easier. A quick yet controlled burst of Cryo was all she needed to cool the oven’s insides enough that she can hold it, before she reaches in and adjusts the heat source manually.
“Alright, this one should be good.” She says, before turning the oven on again with it still open. She took a thermometer and measured the temperature inside, nodding as she noted how the temperature is now much more stable left and right, alongside rising to the correct temp without issue.
“Alright, this one is done. Next one!” She stands up from the first oven and goes to the next, Aether watching in the distance before turning back to continue his own work of ensuring the kitchen’s quality.
“And Aether, make sure the stations are properly cleaned after this. Thank you.”
“I’m on it!”
As Escoffier waited for the second oven to heat up, she stole a look at her partner as he checked the storage units. Her tail flicked around a bit, almost wagging. “If only half the people I met were as reliable as he is, life would be so much easier.”
“But I guess reality is always different.” She sighed before getting to work.
It took the pair nearly the whole hour, but by the end all of the equipment was checked and confirmed to be in working order. They wouldn’t need another case of an oven being off by a tiny bit to ruin the food.
The pair of managers are at the side, recounting their stocks and talking to the servers. Escofifer herself is watching from the kitchen, leaning onto a wall with one arm holding up the menu, the other crossed over her torso.
“Is that the menu?” Aether asked, walking over to her.
“Hmm? Yep, it is.” She leaned up a bit. “Here, want a look?”
“Sure.” He stood beside her, peeking at the menu items. A service of about 5 different appetizers, 6 main courses, 4 extra side dishes and a handful of desserts. A relatively small menu, but one that is certainly going to put the students to the test.
Unconsciously, Escoffier leans slightly onto him as they read the menu in the kitchen. “What do you think? Is it enough as a test?”
“Quite a variety, Esco. Not too much but do you think they can handle it? You have simpler ones like the Onion soup or the Mushroom soup, but then there are also the harder ones like Foie Gras or Lasagna. Dinner service is stressful, so there’s some worry it won’t go well; not that I’m underestimating them.”
“An astute and objective point of view, Ae. Thanks for the honesty and, to be honest myself, I’m expecting them to have a blunder or two here and there.” She shifts slightly to lean to him more comfortably. “But that’s the thing here. If no one’s going to teach them the potential environment of their future career, they’re going to be part of the downfall of Fontainian Culinary Culture, and I absolutely can’t let that happen.”
“Not like I care for their lives, but they’d ruin it too if they come ill-prepared.” She bit her lips. “So all in all, this may be harsh but it's the best for everyone. We teach them to ensure Fontaine’s culinary arts do not fade, and they get a bonus for their future. Sounds like a fair trade for me.”
“And that’s it really. Whatever they get out of this is a bonus for them. Me, I just want to make sure food doesn’t turn to shit in Fontaine.” She shrugged.
“Alright then, I suppose I shouldn’t help them?” Aether suggested, earning a cough from Escoffier.
“You’re going to bias the results. If you help, I’m not letting you eat an ounce of my food for a month…..”
A short pause.
“......a week.”
Ather rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. I suppose I get your point, it’s a test for them, helping would spoil them and undo what you meant to do with attending this.”
“If you do understand me and my point of view, don’t test me so much will you?” She pinched his cheek with a pout. “Always saying the right words to irk me. You are annoying.”
“Ahaha- ow ow, okay, okay.” Aether chuckled, gently tugging her arm to let go. Escoffier held it in for a brief moment to press her point into his skull before she let go, crossing her arms.
“If anything, you should also judge and score their kitchen abilities with me. As one who I appoint as my own personal cook, if I ever needed one, you’d have the same, if not better, abilities to rate them given that our methods in cooking are different, though yielding the same result in the end.” She says, looking at the expanse of the kitchen again.
“Still, you’re the expert focused on Fontainian cooking. You’ll still be better than me at scoring them.” He replied to her. “I’ll ask if I need to later, if you don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Being careful is better than haphazardly running around scoring people incorrectly.” She replied.
As the pair conversed, the sound of a group of people arriving attracted their attention, coming from outside the building. They are clearly talking and judging from their tones, sound both excited and nervous at something that is to come. The fact that they are talking in such a way near the restaurant can only mean one thing; that they are the student chefs.
“Seems like they’re here.” Escoffier and Aether both put their arms down and look at the door, the chef fixing her outfit and making sure her mechanical tail is working by gently poking Aether’s cheek a few times. “Alright, all set.”
Aether watched the tail for a few as it poked at his cheek, Escoffier controlled of course. “Still using me to make sure it's working?”
“You and only you, and I’d rather not use an inanimate object in case it's too strong.” She retorted with a huff. “Now come on, stop complaining about everything I do.”
“Alright, alright, my ever so adorable chef.” He poked his cheek as he passed her to the front door to greet the students. “Come on.”
Escoffier needed a second to join him. She didn’t want to appear in front of the students as red as a tomato. Thankfully, it wore off after a bit and she went out with him.
Out front, all of the student chefs are talking to one another, examining the outside of the restaurant and guessing how their day is going to go. Some are excited, some are worried, a few are quite nervous about doing a live test like this, but all of them look forward to it one way or another.
What they didn’t expect was the woman who walked out of the doors to greet them.
“Huh, quite a lot of you. Good, at least there’s someone to man each station in the kitchen.”
The entire group zipped up when they saw who it is that is currently addressing them with her hands crossed.
“C-chef Escoffier?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m pretty sure most of you know me by now so I’ll get the pleasantries out of the way.” Escoffier replied casually, yet with a hint of command in her voice. She scanned the group, reading their faces before raising an eyebrow. “Okay, why the hell are all of you shocked? I’m not a ghost or some abyssal monster.”
“I-I mean…..we didn’t expect you to be here-” One chef replied after a few, before Escoffier gave a light glare at them.
“And that’s not a reason to look at me like you saw a monster! You know how rude that is?! If it was a social etiquette test and not a cooking test, you’d fail right now.” She replied, her tone immediately taking a turn for the higher notes. “And you still have a test ahead of you for that matter.”
“Huh? Chef, you’ll be scoring us?”
“Yeah. I hope we have to problem with that at all.” She looked at the group again, her eyes actually making them question if taking this test today is a good idea. “I expect no less than the best from the future of Fontaine’s culinary creators, and that includes all of you. If you’re not here to give your best, then so help me I will send you home inside a pot of fowl stock, am I clear?”
“Y-yes, chef!”
“Good.” She turned around for a moment, making sure Aether was with her. “Oh, and the traveler will be helping me for today. He packs a mean punch rivalling my own in the kitchen, all the more to make sure that you all up-and-comings don’t fall short of being great.” She turned back to them. “So don’t mind him.”
Not that they could, this only piled more pressure; everyone has heard of who the traveller is of course, and it's no surprise most are quite a fair bit intimidated now.
“Now, before we start, I want to make one thing very clear.” She addressed them again. “You all are students of Fontaine’s School of Culinary Arts…..or something, never bothered to properly memorize the name. You all are going to continue down the legacy passed down by Fontainian chefs across the generations, and it is a tall order. But, if you’re going to get intimidated and walk away now, you’re not going to be part of this famous legacy, well known even throughout Teyvat itself.”
“The road will not be smooth and straight, but if you’re not gonna start now, you’ll never improve.” She looked at them one by one as she spoke. “So, it's really now or never. I’ll say it again, I expect the best from all of you. Got it?!”
“Yes chef!”
She nods with approval. “Then split into teams as assigned and man your stations in the kitchen. We’ll start in 20 minutes.”
Escoffier moved to Aether’s side as the student chefs all rushed inside in an orderly fashion. The pair watched them go in before they looked at one another.
“First impressions?” She asked him.
“Nervous, but seems like with some guidance they can make things done.” He replied. “You, Esco?”
“Hmm……’bout the same, Ae.” She tapped her chin with a finger in thought. “I’ll be hard on them to make sure they get things done right. First things first, keep an eye on their basic skills. Chopping, searing, plating, baking, mixing, all the basics in the kitchen. If they can’t do it, then you can either roast them or call me for it. When everyone’s up to par, you can look at the more complicated processes.”
“Roger that.” He nods, fixing his scarf. “And Esco, don’t go off tangent too far.”
“Heh. That doesn’t depend on me.” She gently nudges his hips with hers. “Now get your lazy butt moving before I roast you too.”
“As you wish, madame.”
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------
When word got out about the restaurant that is designed to test the young students, some people were interested. But when further gossip spread that Escoffier was spearheading the test alongside Aether, it got quite out of hand.
So when Escoffier allowed the servers to open the doors, all the chefs are in place, the lunch rush didn’t start slow. In fact, it exploded.
“Table 1, order!”
“Got it. Oi, here we go. Get your head in the game!” Escoffier shouts to the students, all of them replying positively.
Escoffier watched them from the front desk of the kitchen area as they started to fire their cooking gears up. “First few dishes so be careful and get your head in the game. Don’t take too long to warm up or the guests will get impatient!”
“Table 3, order!” Aether reads out, helping as well. “Take a read.”
Escoffier watches their every move, the way they chop, the way they slice, the way they fry, all crystal clear to her eyes and presented in large detail as she watches all at work. However, it didn’t take long for cracks to start showing as the pressure mounted in the kitchen.
“Hey, the appetizer station!” Escoffier says suddenly quickly heading over the startled 2 students at the station. “Do you not see how your station is getting cramped?” She says, pointing to the large amount of food waste they have yet to properly dispose of after several servings.
“A–ah, sorry chef, but we’re being chased by the orders and-”
“Stop yapping, you think I don’t know that?!” She replied quickly, making the pair quiver. “If your station is a mess like this, not only will it slow you down, it will also cause accidents to happen! What if that potato peel goes in a salad, or that onion root goes into an omelet, huh?”
“Oh…uh, right, we-”
“CLEAN THE STATION BEFORE CONTINUING!!”
“Y-yes!” The pair skedaddled, their demeanors shifting to a cornered puppy in the face of a rather annoyed Escoffier.
She huffed before storming to check the other stations. Aether meanwhile is checking the finished plates at the front, silently keeping an eye on Escoffier as she patrols the kitchen. He checks an order slip and turns to the kitchen. “I need 2 baked fish out here, pronto. We got one coming in. And get the chips too.”
“Yes, on the way!” A chef replied. “Get the chips ready.”
“In the fryer!” Another replied. The students move frantically as Escoffier patrols the kitchen area like a hawk, watching out for any mistakes or oddities. After a minute, Aether, arms crossed and waiting, finally got the fish and chips delivered onto the front to plate up. He carefully checked the fish, using a clean spoon to gently tap it and push it down only slightly to check for doneness.
“.....huh?” Only for himself to find a problem. “Oh, the fish is quite undercooked.”
“Undercooked?!” Escoffier blitzed beside him and checked.
“Yeah, look. You can still see the lines on the inside.” Aether pointed to her.
Before he could say anything else though, she took the plate and stormed to the seafood station.
“Oi! You weasels!” She called the three at the station. “Look at this! Tell me you see the issue?!”
“.....oh- my apologies, it’s undercooked!” A student chef says, gulping as she realizes her mistake.
“You don’t have to tell me the obvious! It’s so undercooked, IT’S STILL SWIMMING IN FONTAINE’S SEA! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN LINE!”
Aether sighed. He knew it was going to happen anyway. As he moved to the next one, he found 2 chefs quickly passing steak to the front, Escoffier rushing to check the meat with a spoon to test its hardness.
However, as Escoffier pressed the meat down slightly, she raised an eyebrow. The firmness wasn’t quite right. Without hesitation, she sliced one of it open, using her tail (cleaned) as a knife.
Lo and Behold, the wrong doneness.
“You! Meat station! Who cooked this steak?!” And before Aether can check more dishes, Escoffier is already berating another one. “They asked for medium! A perfect pink edge to edge medium! THIS ISN’T MEDIUM!!”
“S-sorry chef, I couldn’t see-”
“THEN GO TO A DOCTOR INSTEAD OF A KITCHEN! IT’S SO RAW, THE MEAT IS STILL RUNNING OVER PEOPLE IN THE ROAD AS A BOAR! GET BACK TO IT!”
A minute or two goes by without much of a fuss.
“Hey? Hey?! Who the hell sent this dish up without putting it properly?!” Escoffier asked, referring to a few dishes of barbeque ribs. “They lack the sides and sauce, you morons! Do you want to be removed?!”
“Right here chef!” A chef comes up with mashed potatoes. “Sorry, the salad station was using up the ricer for so long.”
“But we have a lot of appetizers coming out first!” The student on the salad station retorted back, also busy herself. Before anyone can add to the argument though, Escoffier blew another fuse.
“And you call that a reason?! Kitchens require teamwork, if you’re not working together, don’t bother to be in a kitchen!” She berated, also making sure the other stations heard it.
“Sorry chef- we- we had issues-”
“AND SO DO I WITH YOU! FOCUS, COME ON!”
She looked at the plate.
Her eyebrow twitched.
“AND WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE?!?!”
—------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hmm, okay it’s good looks, now.” A little later, Escoffier is tasting a small amount of Chimichurri sauce that was prepared for a wave of steaks and ribs.
“???” She quickly spat out the sauce into the garbage beside her, Aether looking at her in alarm.
“Esco? You alright?”
“I am.” She wiped her lips.
“WHO MADE THIS CHIMICHURRI SAUCE?! IT’S DOGSHIT!”
“Huh? But I….I made sure to add the right ingredients.” A voice from the sauce station spoke up.
“Right Ingredients?! If it tastes like this, my ass is the right ingredient!” She quickly brings the sauce over to the station. “Taste this. Now.”
The 3 chefs, looking at one another, quickly obliged with a small spoon.
All 3 immediately spat it out.
“Oh my archons- why is it so salty?”
“I added pepper and salt! Did I take the wrong shaker?”
“Chimichurri, more like chimi-chuck it in the bin. READ YOUR LABELS!”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Oh my lord, you’ve redone this salmon 4 times?!?! You’re wasting time and food!”
“S=sorry chef, it’s quite hard. I can’t get it to the right temp because of how much there is to do!”
“For a salmon?? Really? In that case, there’s no one in Teyvat I believe in less than you to get this right! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME! FOCUS!”
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“This is supposed to be porridge. PORRIDGE! Not soup! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, COME ON!”
The student was sent packing back to his station in a panic as Escoffier goes right up to another one. “You’re supposed to make a sandwich. Get it?! A sandwich, not a fucking disaster whatever this is!!”
“Sorry, chef, I really tried but-”
“Look, I can make one right now!” She suddenly slaps 2 pieces of bread to either side of the student’s head. “I made what? AN IDIOT SANDWICH!”
“I-I….”
“WHAT ARE YOU? AN IDIOT SANDWICH!”
“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!”
“DON’T BE SORRY ALL OVER ME OR I’LL HAVE AETHER SHOVE A WHOLE HILICHURL UP YOUR ASS! REMAKE IT!”
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It was already into the afternoon when the student’s lunch service was over, the restaurant no longer accepting orders and the tables empty.
The kitchen was, for lack of a better word, quite a mess of pans, pots, ingredients, and extremely tired people. The students are all filled with messy aprons, shaky hands, and sweat all over them. They all stayed at their stations silent as the crowd left the place.
Escoffier and Aether both stood at the front counter, with Aether helping to move plates with the servers while Escoffier took a short breather.
And she really needed one with how wide of a tangent she went on those poor folks.
“Tsk. Some lousy students they appear to be. I would have thought that the course would give them preliminary training or at least some sort of prerequisite tests before putting them up for this.” She spoke to him, arms crossed and fingers tapping as she thought about the earlier events. “They need some serious work.”
“Mmm, I can tell. Water?” Aether brought her a glass of soda water. One that Escoffier took with a thankful nod, drinking half of it.
“Thanks. Seriously, as soon as they hit a pressure, they pop open like a bottle of pressured anemo energy. It’s not fully their fault though, I can tell they have no preparation at all for what comes next in this test.”
“So I guess the course underprepared them?” Aether finished stacking the plates and went to stand beside her.
“Very. I think they need to add pressure tests and high stress tests first in cooking class, at least just to introduce them to what it's like cooking in a true kitchen that’s in a lunch rush.” She huffed. “Not this harsh, maybe just a timed test where they get a random order and have to get it done within a time limit. Something to warm their waters first.”
Aether put a hand to his own chin in thought for a second. “Maybe they had no idea it’d turn out this bad for them, thus why they don’t have such a course yet. I guess we can go to the one managing them and talk about it.”
“Not today.” She quickly replied, sighing. “That one session was quite bad, and I need a cool-off before I lose my mind.”
“Escoffier! Aether!”
“Oh, Paimon.” Aether waved as Paimon flew over to them. “How was the experience?”
“It was great!” She smiled and gave them a thumbs up. “Paimon dived into the food eagerly and it was really good! Not as good as both of yours, but it’s enough to make Paimon almost take a food nap!”
“With someone like you who focuses more on eating than actually scoring, I doubt I’d get that much of a detailed result out of you.” Escoffier shrugged.
“Huh? Well, Paimon can easily rate foods properly too! I mean, I do it for Aether all the time!”
“Yeah, and I bet you don’t know the limit to when a meat is called medium or medium-rare.”
A pause and the little floating white thing scratches her head. “Is that even that important? I guess it is but is that absolutely necessary for the student chefs?”
“If they miss it by just a slight amount, I will send them to retake the whole course.” Escoffier scoffed lightly. “Such a mistake is a crucial sign of inadequacy in culinary arts that needs to be fixed immediately before it festers. If you let one mistake slip, the mistake soon makes way for more small mistakes, and they all eventually add up. Think about it this way, if the medium is overcooked slightly to medium-well done and I let it go, sooner or later this mistake will repeat itself again. Then, in the future, well done and medium steaks are basically the same thing.”
“.......ah, uh…okay, you have a point. Paimon didn’t think so far.”
“Kinda obvious since you’re a picky taste tester, the sole reason why Aether has a strong presence in a kitchen.”
“Ehe…..well….you can’t really accept bad food just like that.” Paimon replied.
“For once, yes. Which is why I have to be harsh to them to make sure they learn.” Escoffier looked back at the kitchen. “They’ll be here for a few more days, and I’ll see to it that they improve.”
“Mmm.” Aether nods, silently acknowledging to Escoffier that he’d help all the way. Escoffier, understanding him without needing to ask him first, gave him a small smile in approval.
“In any case Paimon, even if you’re fine with it, if you see just one tiny mistake, bring it up and I’ll make sure to give those students a proper warning.”
“You got it! Also, Navia’s inviting us back to Poisson for a round of tea and desserts when you two are done. You wanna join?” Paimon asked, prompting Aether and Escoffier to look at one another for a moment.
Escoffier nods first.
“Sure.” Aether answered for them, turning to Paimon. “Just gonna finish cleaning these up, you go on ahead.”
“Kay! Catch you two later!” She waved before flying off in a wake of some sort of magical dust.
“........always the one to eat a lot.” Escoffier shook her head. “You spoil her too much.”
“Not exactly a habit I can break now that you’re around me to cook for her too, huh?”
Escoffier chuckled, elbowing him slightly. “Oh you, shush. I’m not going to cook too much for her like you. Now, we should almost be done here.”
“Yeah. Just check out with the managers and tell them if anything needs fixing or updating.” Aether says. “And then we look forward to tomorrow I suppose.”
“You sure you’re fine helping me for the next few days?” Escoffier suddenly asked him. “I know who you are, obviously, and I know you’re quite busy all over the place sometimes. I wouldn’t want to take up too much of your time.”
“Hey.” He patted her shoulder. “I did say I’m in, and I know it’s not gonna be a one day thing just from today. Relax, I’ll be here to help. That is, if you’ll have me.”
“.....alright, but I’ll ensure that the management of the academy appropriately compensates us for it. I’m not one to mind much, but your time is precious and I’d rather not have you do it for free. If they decide to back track, well, there’s always the fortress waiting for them.” She huffed in response. “That, and we could be doing many other things together.”
“I don’t mind.” He shrugged, looking back at the restaurant. “We’re still doing something for the good of Fontaine anyways, and it can be fun. I don’t really see the issue, as long as you don’t get sick from scolding them so much, heh.”
“Pfft, shut up. They need to be taught a lesson they can remember. If I go soft, there’s no guarantee they’ll remember the lessons I taught.” She crossed her arms. “And that is something I will obviously want to avoid, no questions about that. Ah, blimey, it's getting late, I think we should go to Poisson to see what the fuss is about.”
“And you need to take it easy after the amount of scolding you did.” Aether flicked her hat a bit. “Don’t roast Navia or Paimon if they cook something.”
“Tsk. You’re a meanie, you know I can’t help it.” She pouted. “I’ll try but no promises, and if I start just stand back. I’d rather not include you in the crossfire.”
“Okay, fair.” He sighed, looking up at the sky for a moment before looking at Escoffier again. “Liyue hot pot for dinner?”
“.....you’re cooking.”
“Yep.”
“Done deal. I’ll fetch the ingredients later.”
And so, as the pair chatted, they made their way to Fontaine’s sideports, unconsciously finding their arms holding as they went towards where Aether parked his waverider to Poisson. To the untrained eye, it really seemed as if the pair are just going about the end to their day without much going on.
Though if you look closely at how Escoffier’s tail seems to be almost wagging on its own, it is quite clear that while she may roast people alive in the kitchen, she definitely still has a soft side.
Just don’t say it to her face, you’ll end up being called idiot sandwiches again.
Some distance away.
"So tht's it, huh? I kinda suspected it."
"Hah, oh well. I suppose I can leave this be for now, only because I have juicier topics to pursue for now. But mark my words you two, I'll make sure you'll be the headlines of Fontaine soon enough! For now, Escoffier's massive explosion in the kitchen is going to be one heck of a headline, not to mention with the new classes the culinary schools are doing! This'll be a blast!."
And Charlotte zooms off from the pot she was hiding behind, straight to her office.