Chapter Text
“Potter Manor”, Regulus said clearly, while throwing the flew powder into the fireplace.
It was better that way, he told himself. Sirius would be safe at the Potters and Regulus could protect him from afar.
On his way back to his room suddenly his mother was standing before him. “And what do you think you are doing?!”
“I- “
“I don’t want to hear it. Walking around the house after I told you not to leave the room until morning!”
“I’m sorry, I-“
“Crucio”
And all Regulus could think about now was pain. And it didn’t get better when in the morning Walburga found out that Sirius had left and put one and one together about Regulus helping him.
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Sirius woke up in a bed he didn’t recognize. He looked around and saw a light green painted room and a big window where the sun came in and flooded the room. Then he heard a knock and in the next moment Effi was standing in his room.
“Good morning, darling. How are you feeling?”
Sirius, still a little confused croaked ”headache”.
“Ok. I’ll bring you a potion for that soon, but first you should eat something.” Effi told him and now Sirius noticed the tablet she was holding in her hands and now put onto the bed.
“Thank you, Effi” Sirius said after he took a sip of water, from the glass on the tablet, with Effi’s help.
“No Problem, darling. I will be back soon with the potion, and I will tell James you’re up.”
While waiting Sirius nibbled on the bread. He thought about what happened last night.
His mother found out about Remus and was of course very happy. She threw a few cutting hexes at him and then used the cruciatus curse for, he didn’t even know how long. The next thing he remembered was reg calling out his name and then it was all black.
“Padfoot! Are you okay? How do you feel?” there was suddenly another person in his bed, hugging him tightly.
“I’m okay Prongs, just a headache.”
“And that’s what this is for” Effi gave him a vial with a potion.
After Sirius took it, he looked at James. “How did I get here?”
James and his mom looked at each other. Then James turned back to Sirius. “Well, we were hoping you could tell us. All we know is that you came per floo and that you were in no condition to have flood over here by yourself.”
“Reg….it must have been him. He’s the only one who could and would help me get here. Also, the last thing I know is him calling out for me.”
Sirius started crying, when all his fears of Regulus being alone in that house, with that woman came crashing down. James hugged him again and didn’t let go for a long time.
It took a while for Sirius to completely recover. Thankfully he couldn’t have been under the cruciatus curse longer than a few minutes according to his symptoms. The headache was of course one of the side effects, but he also sometimes had a few moments where he couldn’t think clearly and everything was a little foggy. But he definitely didn’t get the worse symptoms of his body not reacting to what he wanted or the complete dissociation where he couldn’t remember doing anything for about the last hour. But the black veinlike scars on his back are definitely noticeable.
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After Sirius’ recovery the summer flew by. Of course, Sirius worried about Reg, but there was nothing he could do about the situation. In the last week of holiday, they invited Remus and Peter over and they stayed there until school started again.
Now the four marauders sat in the great hall at dinner. The sorting ceremony was unspectacular at best, and Dumbledore’s speech was even shorter than it had been the year before.
Sirius found himself laughing with his best friends and the girls as well. The feast was almost over and a few of the students had already left to go to their common rooms when suddenly you could hear a clatter as one of the many silver plates fell to the floor.
When Sirius looked up to the Slytherin Table where the sound came from, he found his brother in the arms of his friends, Barty and Evan, Pandora and Dorcas standing next to them. First it looked like Reg passed out and they caught him, but then Pandora pulled a shrunken stick out of her bag. Then she used a spell it grew bigger until you could see that it was a cane. Pandora then handed it to Regulus whose face filled with relief and worry at the same time.
When the cane was unfolded, he took it in his left hand and pushed himself up. Whispers and murmurs followed the Pantheon as they left the great hall, Barty and Evan still walking directly next to Regulus.
James looked at Sirius, whose face was unreadable at the moment. Then Sirius stormed out of the great hall after his brother. Outside he met Pandora.
“Not right now, Sirius. He needs a little time to himself now.” She told him, knowing exactly where he was headed.
“But-“
“No. I will tell him to talk to you when he feels better.” She shook her head.
“Fine. Please also tell him, that I’m here for him.” Sirius looked at Pandora pleading.
The blond girl nodded and turned around in the direction of the dungeon.
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Regulus just wanted to get up and go to his dorm, when his legs gave in. With a try of holding onto the table he just pushed down the plate as well. “Merde. Not again.”
Luckily Barty and Evan were there to help him get back up and to support him.
Pandora had helped him get from the train station up to the castle by transforming a stick into a cane. When they arrived at the castle, Regulus shrank down the cane but didn’t have a place to store it, so Pandora put it into her bag. Now she pulled the cane out again and with a swish of her wand it was back to its original size. Of course, Regulus was glad he had the cane to support him with walking, but at the same time he didn’t want everyone to think he was weak and had to lean on a “stick” to walk.
He took the cane from Pandora and pushed himself back onto his feet. Then he started to walk, well more like limp, out of the great hall, ignoring all the stares.
Barty and Evan were walking right next to him as well as Dorcas. Regulus noticed Pandora staying behind but didn’t think about it much. Back in his dorm, he fell onto his bed. After a few minutes he told the others that he was going to get ready for bed, went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
When he was done, he got out of the bathroom and sat down of his bed. Pandora was back and she and the others all sat divided on the 3 beds.
Pandora inspected his face and sighed. “Lu, I talked to Sirius.”
Regulus wanted to interrupt her but she kept talking.
“He wanted to walk after you to see if you’re okay. I told him I’d tell you to go talk to him when you’re ready. He agreed.”
Regulus sighed as well and let himself fall backwards on his bed.
Pandora got up and sat down next to him. “He told me to also tell you that he’s here for you” she said softer and started brushing through his hair with her hand.
Regulus nodded and she could see tears forming in his eyes.
The others now got ready for bed as well and Dorcas left to go to the girls dormitory. But not before saying good night.
They all knew she was going to Marlenes dorm since they now got their own dorm room since figuring out their gender-identity, but nobody mentioned it.
Barty and Evan wished a good night as well and closed their curtains around their own beds. They somehow would still both wake up in Evan’s bed but again nobody says it out loud.
Pandora, who was still in bed with Regulus, closed his curtains with her wand and they cuddled together. And if Pandora noticed something wet on her shoulders she didn’t talk about it outside of their bubble.
Pandora was Regulus’ mental cane. The one he could lean on when his mind overcame him with his anxiety again. She was his sister in all but blood.
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3 days later, Regulus came up to Sirius while he was at Breakfast with his friends. The great hall was still mostly empty. Having walked from the dungeons to the Great Hall, leaning heavily on his cane Regulus cleared his throat. Sirius looked up and was a little shocked to see Regulus there.
Regulus inspected his group of friends and the turned back to Sirius. “Do you know the come and go room?”
Sirius, snapping out of his shock, nodded.
“Good. Meet me there after dinner.” Regulus said and turned around to leave.
“See you there petite étoile.” Sirius grinned.
Regulus just smiled lightly and went over to the Slytherin table where Dorcas waited. Pandora sat at the Ravenclaw table for once, talking to a friend.
Regulus sat down next to Dorcas and made his Plate. Knowing Dorcas, he also prepared her a plate while she was too busy staring at Marlene who was talking to James Potter about their Quidditch Training. How Regulus knew that? They were talking so loudly he was surprised that their tactics hadn’t been stolen by another team before.
Regulus was just done preparing Dorcas Plate, when Barty and Evan entered the great hall. Evan, still half asleep, leaned into Barty while he made his own plate and seemed to fall asleep again almost immediately.
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It was almost time to go to dinner, and Regulus and Pandora were still in the library trying to study for the OWL’s early in the year before everyone else started and the library was too full to study properly.
Time flew by and neither Pandora nor Regulus looked at the clock. When Remus Lupin came into the library and saw Regulus sitting at the table he came over.
“Hi Regulus. Pandora.” he nodded and turned back to Regulus,” weren’t you meeting Sirius in the come and go room?”
Regulus eyes widened comically “Shit, Merde, I forgot the time.”
Regulus packed his stuff together in record time and kissed Pandora on the cheek. “Bye Dora, see you later”
Then he hurried off, as fast as he could with having to lean on his cane for support.
Remus laughed to himself and saw Pandora smile sweetly after Regulus.
“So, since my study partner left me, care to take his place?” Pandora looked at Remus who shrugged his shoulders and sat down.
They worked a little side by side when Remus slid a piece of paper over to Pandora. She looked at him with a questioning look on her face. “What’s this?”
“It’s a list with tips and help for walking with canes or crutches. I also found a shop in Hogsmeade that sells both, their products are high quality. They are a little expensive, but I don’t think that should be a problem for Regulus. I also wrote down an extension charm for a bag or a pocket where the cane should fit into if he needs it.”
Pandora looked at him with a smile. “Thank you, Remus. That is very helpful.”
Remus just shrugged and went back to studying.
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When Regulus arrived on the third floor he bumped into someone turning around the corner. Regulus almost fell but the person held onto his arm to catch him. When Regulus was standing again he looked directly at his big brother.
“I- sorry I forgot the time. I was in the library with Panda and then Remus came in and reminded me of our meeting and- sorry.” Regulus rambled.
Sirius who had just looked mad looked relieved now. “Hey Reggie, it’s okay. Happens to all of us, ok?”
Regulus just nodded and then cleared his throat. “let’s go”
Once they’re in the come and go room, Sirius stood still and looked around. It was definitely designed by Regulus but more open and brighter than Sirius would have imagined. They were in a by the setting sun, light-flooded room with a dark ceiling and stars on it. Next to the door was a bookshelf with lots and lots of books. On the wall next to it was a fireplace with a dark blue couch in front, with a white carpet under it. The floor was dark wood and most of the walls were dark blue, but some were kept in white. On the other side of the room was a piano, as well as a violin hanging on the wall.
Regulus went over to the couch and sat down with a heavy breath, putting the cane next to him. Sirius sat down on the other side and they both said nothing for a while.
“You helped me get out, didn’t you?”
Sirius was the first to talk and Regulus froze a little before nodding.
“Why didn’t you come with me?”
“The Potters would protect you too. You wouldn’t have to let them treat you like shit and hurt you. You could have avoided all this.” Sirius pointed at the cane.
“I was- am. I am protecting you.”
“Protecting me? You can’t be serious! How is this protecting me? And why now you didn’t bother to do it before either?!” Sirius raised his voice now.
Sirius was expecting his brother to grow silent like he had seen so often with his parents. But Regulus sat up straighter and glared at his brother.
“Yes, this is protecting you. This.”, He pointed at the cane now as well, “And yes now. Because while I did want to help you before, not even you could have if you had been in my situation.”
“And what situation is that? Being a coward?” Regulus swore he could feel the cut on his heart, caused by the ice-cold voice Sirius was using now.
“No. The Situation in which your father holds you under the imperious curse and letting you watch you mother torture you brother for minutes with the cruciatus curse.”
Sirius deflated visibly at that.
“And the situation of being locked in your room while hearing you brother’s screams for help.”
Now Sirius got closer to Regulus on the sofa. The latter didn’t even notice, while being in his rant.
“Or being told your brother doesn’t need you anymore because he has new friends now, and being-“
Sirius was now hugging Regulus.
“What are you doing.” Regulus cried now, “stop that. I’m mad at you- stop”
“I’m sorry petite étoile. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
Regulus was still crying on Sirius shoulder while Sirius was holding him close and whispered apologies into his ear the whole time.
The two of them couldn’t even tell you how long they sat there just hugging. Even after Regulus stopped crying and Sirius stopped apologizing the whole time.
“When did they say that?” Sirius asked now letting go of the hug.
“What?” Regulus croaked.
“That I didn’t need you.”
Regulus looked down and hesitated. “during your first year. I was asking Maman if you wrote letters and she said that you didn’t write because you had new friends now and wouldn’t need me anymore.”
“But I did write. To you, I mean.” At that Regulus looked up, and there was so much hope in his eyes.
“You did?”
“Yes, I wrote almost every week for the first half year and shortly before Christmas break mom wrote me to stop writing since you didn’t want to hear from me anymore because I betrayed the family by being in Gryffindor. “
Regulus shook his head. “I’d never- I never cared about your house. I was so happy for you, because I always knew you were so stupidly brave and I thought you deserved to be with people like you.”
This time Regulus initiated the hug. It didn’t take as long as the last but it still wasn’t short.
They talked a little about lighter stuff until they decided it was enough brother bonding for a day and they both got up.
Regulus first tapped with both his feet on the floor and still got up with his cane but when he stood, he didn’t have to lean on it as much as before. He still kept his cane in his hand, since he didn’t trust the situation, but walked without having to lean on it. When the brothers got to the door Sirius hugged Regulus again. “I love you petite étoile. You know that? I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”
Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. “I know. I love you too, étoile.”
They got out the door and left to go to their respective common rooms.
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Pandora was already waiting for him on his bed. “So? How was it?”
Regulus though about it for a second. “It was good. We fought a little in the beginning but overall it was nice.”
Pandora smiled. “I’m happy for you Lu.”
“Thanks Panda, I- I’m glad too.” Regulus was silent for a beat. “He told me he loved me.”
It was a watery smile, Pandora could now see on Regulus’ face.
“Of course he does. Or he wouldn’t be here trying.”
Regulus felt like he could cry again while feeling dried out at the same time.
“Are you staying here? I want to go to sleep now.”
Panda nodded. “Yes, i already planned to stay. The Ravens have a party tonight and it’s no fun without you lot. And since none of you had time or made time I decided not to go either.”
Later they laid down in bed together cuddling.
Regulus was still lying with his eyes open, looking at his charmed bed ceiling with his star constellation.
Pandora watched him. He looked so at peace with himself at this moment she couldn’t quite believe all Reg has been through and how strong he was.
“By the way, Lu?”
“yes?”
“Remus, gave me something for you. He wrote down a lot of tips and possibilities to help you with walking and handling your cane or crutch and even a shop in Hogsmeade that sells pretty good ones.”
“He did?” Regulus asked with wide eyes.
“Yeah. I think he wanted to help since he knows a lot of that stuff because he needs it himself. Remus is so nice. Do you think he wants to join our study group?”
“I think he already has his own with Lily Evans, if I’m not wrong. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”
Regulus now looked at Pandora.
“Okay. Let’s do that tomorrow.”
Regulus nodded and laid down on his pillow.
“Good Night Dora.”
“Sweet Dreams Lu.”
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Sirius came back to a dark room. He got ready for bed and then opened the curtains of moony’s bed. His boyfriend was still awake and reading. He looked up when he heard the curtains being opened and smiled when he saw Sirius. “Hello my star. How was it?”
Sirius laid down and put his head on Remus shoulder, who started to play with his hair. “At first we fought- well I screamed mostly.” Remus pulled on of his eyebrows up. “I also apologized after. But then it was okay. He cried on my shoulder for a long time while we hugged. I cried too. Then we kept talking.”
Sirius turned to Remus. “Do you know what that excuse of a mother told him?”
Remus nodded for him to continue.
“During my first Year she told him I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore because I had other friends now. Can you believe that Bitch?
Remus hummed. “I can, actually. What did she tell you? I mean you wouldn’t have just given up.”
Sirius shook his head. “She wrote in a letter that Regulus didn’t want to talk to me anymore because I have betrayed the family by being a Gryffindor.”
“But he didn’t care.”
“No. He told me today that he never cared about my house and even was happy for me because he always thought I was brave and deserved to find more brave people like me.”
Remus kissed his head. “And he is right. But I think he sounds like he doesn’t think he’s brave.”
“I- “ Sirius stopped for a moment. “You’re right he does sound like that. Doesn’t he?
Well, I’ll just have to convince him that he is.”
“Merlin, I love you.” Remus looked at him as if he hung the stars.
And maybe they both did because Sirius looked at him the same way. “I love you too.”