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It’s been almost three weeks, though it feels like months, since Flora had a moment to herself and she’s nearly reached a breaking point. From the day Klint sat her down and confessed his sins to the day Iris was born, the storm of chaos has swept her up entirely. It hardly helps that she had a brush with death over the course of labor, concerning those close to her so much she’s scarce been allowed to so much as walk.
Not right now.
As dawn approaches, the sky is a soft watercolor of pink and orange with the slightest hints of blue and purple creeping in at the corner. The sight, complete with just the perfect amount of fluffy clouds, should be enough to put anyone at ease.
Should being the operative word.
Flora sits on her balcony, a flowing silk dressing gown thrown over her nightgown. It’s the only thing that resembles her normal polish; her hair sticks out in all directions, faint tear tracks cutting through the purple half circles drawing deeply under her eyes. Sleep has eluded her since her husband’s death, nightmares haunting her on the rare occasion it does come.
As the wind blows, ruffling her clothes and already disheveled hair, she feels like a mere twig in a mighty tree. The cold air breezes right through her, undeterred by mere flesh and bone.
The sun begins its ascension and Flora wonders when the last time she truly enjoyed a sunset was. Weeks, at least, maybe months. Try as they might, no one can truly bring the out of doors in. Confined as she has been, weak as she has been, she’s barely seen beyond the glimpse of a window. Nothing compared to being out in nature, even if only from a balcony, with the unimpeded feel of wind dancing across her skin and sun shining on her face.
A knocking noise pulls her out of these reflections. She turns to see a familiar figure behind the glass doors and sighs, the sound hovering between disappointment and relief. Flora beckons Evie closer, trying to force a smile onto her face.
The doors open and Evie silently pads onto the balcony, a sensible cotton wrapper drawn closely around her. “What are you doing out here?” she asks softly, moving to sit beside Flora on the bench.
Flora hesitates, her gaze trailing aside. “...I couldn’t stand it.”
She can practically feel the concern radiating off Evie as she inhales sharply. A hand comes to rest comfortingly on her leg, Evie gently running her hand across Flora’s thigh. “What couldn’t you stand?”
“This,” Flora answers with a vague gesture around her. “All of it.”
Evie hums thoughtfully. “Would you care to talk about it?”
She slowly brings herself to meet Evie’s eyes, her own wide and vulnerable. “Are you certain? It’s no mere trifle. I shouldn’t like to upset you.”
A fond, familiar smile makes its way onto Evie’s lips. “For you, I’d accept any amount of upset to relieve your burden.”
Pricks sting at the corners of Flora’s eyes and Evie is softly wiping her face before she even realizes tears have fallen.
“I love you,” Evie whispers intently, bringing her other hand up to cup Flora’s cheek.
Flora nods ever so slightly, a small inclination of her head all she can manage. She breathes out a reply, “I love you too.”
A few still moments pass, then. Simply… being. Flora leans into Evie’s hand, allowing her eyes to fall closed. It’s… well, it’s the most peace she’s had in ages.
It could be a minute or an hour later that Evie speaks soothingly, “Would you like to sleep now or talk?”
Flora hums, her eyes slowly fluttering back open. She takes in the look on Evie’s face, the openness in her expression and love in her gaze almost overwhelming. “I’d still like to talk,” Flora murmurs. “If you’ll still listen.”
“Always.”
With a soft sigh, Flora rests her head on Evie’s shoulder. Almost instantly, she feels the gentle pressure of a hand on her waist. She shifts nearer, reaching out to find Evie’s free hand and lacing their fingers together.
Flora takes a deep breath, leaning ever closer to Evie. “I have barely had a moment to breathe,” she begins. “These past weeks, it’s been… I have had no control, in any of it. I had no ability to stop Klint from doing what he did and scarcely had any time to process it before I was going into labor and nearly dying. Ever since, I have been practically under lock and key. Out of concern, yes, but no less stifling than if it were not. I have had no time for anything that I myself want. Every moment has a predetermined occupation with no room for my own choice. I must be the grieving widow, the dutiful mother, the perfect patient—” Flora pauses abruptly, all but panting.
Evie squeezes Flora against her comfortingly. “Take your time.”
Flora glances up briefly, then lets her gaze drift over the sunrise. The blue has begun to chase out the orange, slowly creeping further across the sky.
There’s a metaphor in there somewhere.
Yes.
“I feel much like the sky,” she says, a far away lilt to her voice. “The life I had before has been chased away, leaving nothing behind. Completely taken over, I am hardly recognizable. Never again to be seen.”
A quiet falls over them then—not exactly awkward, but not fully comfortable either. She can practically hear Evie thinking, can almost see the near pout she makes when she’s deep in thought.
“Yet the sunrise returns each morning, does it not?”
It’s not a question. Flora answers regardless, “Perhaps, but never the same as it was before.”
“Is that so very bad? Is not change the foundation of life? Every moment is fleeting but no less beautiful for it.” Evie pauses then, leaning her head against Flora’s and starting to run her thumb over Flora’s waist. “The sunrise is unrelenting, even in the face of the most despicable circumstance.”
The silence that falls now has a weight to it the last did not. The words slowly seep in, percolating throughout her consciousness.
“I suppose,” Flora whispers at last.
Evie softly kisses the top of her head. “You ought to go to bed. We can talk more after you have rested.”
Flora hums in vague agreement.
“Let’s get you up then.” Evie tightens her grip on Flora, carefully pulling both of them up from the bench. “Alright, now we walk.”
It’s slow going, to no one’s surprise, but they do manage to return to Flora’s rooms. Evie gently helps Flora onto the bed, easing off her dressing gown. She doesn’t bother attempting to pull down the covers, instead draping a spare blanket over Flora.
Evie is just about to walk away when she hears it, “Stay with me?” Flora asks in a small, almost shy voice.
Evie replies, “Of course.”
As if she could have said anything else.
She removes her wrapper in short order, setting it with Flora’s dressing gown. She makes her way back to the bed with no hesitation, crawling in beside Flora. Flora lifts the corner of the blanket up, inviting Evie underneath. She gets underneath cautiously, trying to disturb Flora as little as possible.
Not that she seems to mind. The moment Evie has stopped moving, Flora is laying an arm over her waist and settling her head on Evie’s chest. Evie sighs contentedly, bringing a hand to rest on the small of Flora’s back.
A sense of peace covers them, a feeling like little else. It’s hard to say how much time passes until they both drift off but, to be certain, it’s one of the best sleeps of their lives.