Work Text:
Have you ever experienced getting lost in a sea of doubt? Finding yourself questioning your ability to reach for the stars you once dreamt of touching?
Axl has. More often that he wants to admit
Once, people called him a child prodigy — brilliant, gifted, spectacular child. Praises rained down on him like rain, teachers cheered him on, strangers admired him, and his family was no different. They were Axl’s biggest supporters. From competitions to review sessions, tutors to trophies, they did everything to help him achieve his dream
For years, Axl carried those praises like armor, as if every kind word stitched another layer onto his resolve. But university hit differently, it was brutal, exhausting, and unlike anything he’d faced before, it chipped away at that armor until it cracked. Axl’s dream wasn’t just his own. It belonged to everyone who believed in him
Tonight, he’s on the edge of the campus rooftop. It’s quiet, high above the noise. His knees pulled to his chest, he stares at the stars, waiting for it to speak, to reassure him like it used to. But tonight, it’s silent. The once celebrated child prodigy is now just a boy trying to remember how it felt to believe in himself
His phone rings. A reminder for tomorrow’s exam in a course he hated
“Why am I such a failure…” he murmurs under his breath
The dream he once chased used to feel like an open sea— full of wonder and endless possibilities. He wanted to be great, needed, someone who mattered
But now?
He’s just someone swimming in circles, far from the shores he once saw so clearly
He closes his eyes, as if maybe in the dark, he’ll find the version of himself that wasn’t so afraid all the time
"Axl?" a voice calls gently bringing him back to reality
He opens eyes and turns toward the voice
“You’re here.” Axl faintly smiles. A smile of small relief
It’s Ash
If solace had a name, it was him . Ash had a quiet strength that made the world seem less cruel. He never demanded answers, never asked for more than Axl could give. He just... stayed beside him
"Having troubles again?" Ash asks, already knowing the answer
Axl just nods and he reverts his gazes back to the stars
Ash walks over and sits beside Axl, shoulders almost brushing
Silence settles between them, comfortable and patient
Axl turns and sees the gentle breeze create a soft ripple in Ash’s hair. He was stuck there for a minute just gazing at Ash. It’s such a small thing, but right now, it felt like the only thing keeping him from falling apart
After a while…
Axl finally speaks, his voice low "Do you ever feel like you're disappointing the person you used to be?"
Ash doesn't look away from the stars "Yeah, all the time"
Axl lets out a breath he has been holding back for weeks
"I used to dream of saving people, " Axl says, resting his head against Ash's arm. "I wanted to be someone everyone could count on. A doctor. A savior. But now? I can’t even survive a midterm without drowning"
Ash stays quiet for a beat. Then he says "You're still that person Axl”
He says as he wraps his hand on Axl's shoulder, massaging them softly with an expression on his face that makes the latter feel valid and seen.
“But even heroes have days when they can’t lift the world," Ash says softly. The voice he always used to keep Axl calm
Axl glances up to face him "So what do you do when you’re too tired to keep going?"
Ash smiles at him "You wait for the tide to shift. And in the meantime, you find someone who's willing to float with you"
Axl grows still. Those words hit harder than expected, it’s like he’s telling him that he has Ash. Even if he’s in debt, there is someone who he can rely on. And that someone is Ash
"I feel like I’m wasting everyone’s sacrifices,” he admits. "All the support, all the time, the expectations. If I’m not the best Ash, then who am I? What was it all for? What if they stop being proud…"
Axl says as tears stars to form in his eyes, letting out all the trapped emotions he has been feeling for all his life
“What if they stop loving me Ash?” Axl says facing Ash, eyes full of tears
Ash slowly reach his hand to Axl’s face and wipes that sad water away
"You don’t have to earn love, Axl. Or rest. Or forgiveness. You don’t have to shatter yourself to prove you're worth something"
The words hit something deep inside Axl. His throat tightens, making it hard for him to speak
"Then why does it feel like if I stop, I’ll disappear? Like I’ll be nothing?"
“Because you have been told that for a long time, Axl” Ash says “But that is not the truth. You’re still you, with or without medals. You matter just as you are”
Axl swallows as he turns his head away from him. "And you still see him? Even when I can’t?"
Ash doesn't hesitate. "Always"
"Why?"
"Because he's the boy who believed in magic. In stars. In dreams. And even if you can’t believe in him right now, I do"
Axl looks down, then he slowly reaches for Ash's hand and grabs onto them tightly
Ash grabs his face and pushes it up and finds his eyes locked to his. The older then said with eyes full of life, embrace, purity, and salvation…
"Even if the whole world is out of tune," Ash says gently, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, "I’ll be right here. Always"
“Even when I feel like I’m falling apart?” Axl says
Ash’s gaze softens “Especially then Axl”
“Even if I am not perfect?”
“There’s nothing perfect about being human. But there’s something beautiful about you still choosing to try.”
Axl nods, emotion swelling in his chest
"Thank you Ash… for being here"
Ash doesn’t respond with words
Instead, he pulls Axl into a quiet, tender hug. Not the kind that would fix everything— but the kind that assures you that you are not alone
There will still be hard days. Days where Axl feels like he’s slipping again
But now, he knows he won’t have to face them alone
And that, somehow is enough to start breathing again
________________________________________________________
Later that night, they walk side by side, hand in hand under the soft glow of the streetlights, there is no rush in their steps. The world feels quieter now, as if something inside Axl has settled, just a little
They arrive at Ash’s apartment. It’s small, cozy, and warm. It isn’t fancy, but it feels like home
Inside, the lights are dim and the air is warm. Ash drops his bag by the couch, not caring about the things inside it
Ash turns to Axl, grabbing his hands and guiding him to his room
Axl looked around Ash’s room, it’s organized, filled with his favourite Pop Mart figurines and other knick-knacks, it felt cute to him
Ash goes to his cabinet to grab a blanket, tosses it onto the bed and turns to Axl, who’s standing in the doorway, unsure
"You’re staying," Ash says, his voice leaving no room for doubt, assuring Axl that he’s safe with him
Axl nods silently, heart full
They lie down, side by side. The space between them closes naturally like a tide drawn to the shore. Without needing words, Axl shifts closer, Ash wraps an arm around him, their bodies fitting like puzzle pieces
It’s quiet. No more exams. No more doubts. Just breathing
Axl listens to the rhythm of Ash’s heartbeat, it's steady. Comforting. Real
And slowly, in the warmth of that embrace, they both drift into sleep— two boys lost in the sea of life, but floating, together
And for now that was enough
