Work Text:
Entry N1
How do I start this...
My name is Norton Campbell and I am 7 years old.
I write here because papa told me to, so I do that.
This is a dairy, all mine.
I don't like the way my letters look, I also don't like red, the color of this empty book.
It was a gift from papa, it is not my birthday, my birthday was many days ago, but he looked happy to give it. I do not care.
Not like he will read anything I write, he never listens, never spends time with us, always busy, always working.
Uncle benny and papa always talk about finding gold, I found a letter, where uncle talks about getting all rich.
If we get rich, I will go to school like all the other kids, than maybe my letters will look pretty.
Now I must go, mama called, we can eat today.
Bye-bye red book! - Diary.
Entry N2
Hello.
When I showed mama what I wrote last time, she told me I should write what I feel and not about papa's money.
So, I will say it, this made me sad, they always talk about money, yell about money, tell me - Norton, this costs money, that costs money, you can't have that, because money. Why can't I write in my gift book about it?
I will not show her this again, she is mean. I will hide this thing very well too.
And if I HAVE to write about what I feel? I feel hungry and bored.
Goodbye.
Entry N3
Mama is very ill.
Papa is not home, he is far away, working.
Mama does not eat because she says I should have it.
I ate.
I feel sorry, forgive me mama.
Entry N4
Mom died.
We buried her.
Papa put a black shirt on me, it was moms.
Dirty
Entry N5
I forgot about this thing, but hi, it has been some time. Found this while looking for boots to wear tomorrow.
Might as well write down what is happening. Papa is taking me to work tomorrow, says I'm a big boy now and I can climb in spaces they can't fit in.
I got new clothes for work; they are green and a bit too big, I can grow into it though. Papa also put a huge hat on me, just like his one, I did not like it.
Tomorrow, I'll be just like papa.
Entry N6
The dark is scary, It's all tight in there.
I scratched my knee on a sharp rock; it hurts but it's okay.
I don't like new work, but we shared a big white bread at home after, that must mean I did well, right?
I am very tired, so I must sleep, big boy work again tomorrow!
I can do this, if I do this, we can sleep warm in winter.
Entry N7
Winter is here and I write so my hands stay warm.
I feel tired every day.
The gifted quilt does not warm my body.
Papa is sleeping with me; he is tired too.
I cannot sleep because it's cold, and papa is coughing too loud.
I know it, he is sick, just like mama was.
Uncle Benny wrote him that he found something, maybe I can help them with it tomorrow.
Entry N8
Papa did not wake up today.
Entry N9
If the father is a miner, so shall the son.
I am now too big to fit in small holes; other kids do that.
I carry a heavy pickaxe, and I mine.
I go to work very early, and I finish the last, if I waste time sleeping and eating like other lazy bums do, I won't get enough money to buy new clothes, and my old ones barely fit.
I need food too, for me and Benny, he is too old to be working, sick like my old man was too.
I try to see the old men in the shelter every weekend, when I finish work, they give me tips and tricks, I have to be smart and use them very well, they also tell me the board games we play helps brain grow smarter. They also have some books and maps, I took a few home to learn more.
So far, the employers like me, even gave me an extra coin once, I'm saving that for next winter.
I may be alone now, but I believe, if I keep working even harder, if I just eat less and save more, I won't be like this forever.
And when I am done living like this, everyone will hear about it, I'll write my progress down too.
Entry N10
As time passes and I get taller and older, I gain more hope.
I can carry more weight now; I need to sleep less, and I can talk to employers smarter.
"Bootlicker", said Matthew to other miners the other day while pointing at me. He is taller, stronger and 4 years older than me, that makes him 18. I don't like Matthew, why am I a bootlicker? Because he is rough, ugly and spits on ground while I talk polite to adults?
Now I know I am not a looker, The old miners tell me my frown is stuck together, I can't shave those annoying face hairs without chopping my cheeks up, I am more legs than body, my hair is curly and annoying to brush, but unlike the rest, I try to take care of the way I talk at least! Hell, I'm smarter even! Those guys can't even do math to tell it when they get scammed off 10% of their work!
And that's why I always get to do more work than the rest! Other than mining, when I have time, I wash dishes at a local pub too, what do they do? Whine and mock me. These guys would not even be able to do half the things I do to survive! They would not last a day handling peeps who stop me and pay me coins for- whatever... Small jobs and tasks go a long way! After all, all I've got is me myself and I!
I'll show them all!
Entry N11
Should I learn how to fight?
It is a... shame to admit it, but I got beat up by Matthew's gang today.
They lied to me, I thought they were being friendly by tossing me a coin, I took it as a sign of peace offering, plus I could really use that coin-
My wrist still hurts.
They stepped all over me, kicked me around and spat on me. More than it hurts, I am angry.
I am not their laughingstock, I just work harder and smarter, plus they have wives and some even have kids, while I take care of myself (and Uncle Benny), it's not my fault I know how to survive.
But I will survive them too, no matter what they do next, I'll be ready.
Entry N12
I hate them all, those dirty rats, they try to take me down to their level.
I fight back, but there is more of them, they keep me away from work, they use me for their sick and twisted entertainment.
I don't deserve these bruises, these marks, these stains.
They are dirty and they want me to bring me down to their level.
Covered in grime and stench, I still finished my work today, no matter how much all my muscles sored.
They may be laughing now, but I will get the last laugh.
Why? Because I just found something fucking amazing, It may take me some years to get all of the information out from Benny, but he will thank me at the end of it too, it'll be just me and him at the top, then he'll laugh with me together at the rest.
Norton Campbell, you will not have to live in the shadow no more!
Entry N13
Thirteen mines, I have a plan.
At the end of it all, I will survive.
Bad news though, I cannot do it all alone. I must let them help me, even then, I am hesitant to approach them, and I don't feel like they deserve the fair share either.
But if I am right, if that map I "borrowed" from uncle is right, I'll still have enough gold to forget them all, move on forever.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, just imagining it makes my hairs stand on my body... new clothes, a roof over head, a warm blanket, no more moldy bread and the best of it all - I'll find a real good doctor and they'll make my lungs stop aching.
I've been getting coughs like my old man, food has been tasting worse, I get tired easier, but I'm still young so I'll push right through it all!
Oh and... it's my 23rd birthday tomorrow, so much time has passed... daily routine has kept me so distracted that I could barely make time to write anything down, plus taking care of all those old bags, just to get some valuable information out of them has been hell, but alas... I will make a big wish for the future:
I will live long enough to forget all of this.
I can sense it, one day I will see the sunlight.
Entry N14
Happy birthday Norton Campbell, you small, stupid piece of shit.
You two-faced, good for nothing, hopeless helpless rat.
You had ONE plan, one idea, one way out of your miserable life and you had to fuck it all up.
Because you are weak, that's all that you are.
Of course they took the map away from you, they will take all gold that was meant to be yours too.
What other choice do you have now huh? Go and fucking die already, speed it up even, you'll be a goner soon just like your pathetic old man too.
You seriously thought you deserved better? After all those lies, after that weak facade, nobody even likes you, you've never been loved, only reason you were born, was to suffer, you never deserved any better than this.
Those scars that you carry? Those images that flash before your eyes and keep you up at night? You deserve them all, because not even you can love yourself, as egotistical of a villain you have tried to pretend to be, all you've ever done is survive like an ant, and you did get squashed, that's all there is to it.
Just go end it all, world is better off without your stench.
Entry N15
If I must live, then so be it.
Not like this though, I must get up, I must take care of the mess I've made off myself, I need to keep going.
It was MY idea, MY map, if can't fight them, I can at least join them, whether they want me there or not. Employees known me better, the Count Barriere knows me better, he will not fund their work without me. I can still make this whole thing turn around.
Entry N16
First mine was a fluke, as expected, because what are the chances that the first attempt would be the end of it. But since the end goal is huge, the others have been behaving themselves.
We may hate each-other, but we all understand that all of us just want to get out of here, at least I understand that.
Entry N17
2nd mine had some profit, but not what any of us looked for, I don't care about those small gains anymore, I'll be normal at the end of this anyways.
Entry N18
3rd, 4th and 5th mines... as empty as they could be. I have not slept for what could be 3 weeks, my eyes are heavy, my thoughts scrambled but I am staying focused. If anyone will reach that gold first, it will be me.
Entry N19
I sense a loss of hope, in everyone but me.
I still believe in this, I have no other choice.
10th mine down, chances increase as we approach the end, so it's all okay.
They went back to hurting me, as if the flukes are somehow my fault, I don't care, I can handle it, the bitter taste of blood in my mouth keeps me focused.
Entry N20
I'm tired.
Entry N21
The 13th mine approaches, or we approach them, all of us are tired, but the end is near.
I will go in as early as possible, who needs rest anyways when future is calling.
Entry N22
The cave is huge; you could explore it whole day and still find something new! It's amazing and terrifying at the same time. I barely have time to drink water, I'm starting to feel sick, but now I care about it less than ever.
I smell the gold, and it smells like success.
Entry N23
Days have passed, everyone is getting pent up, almost crazier than before, they now longer fight just me but each other and almost like something is forcing me to fight them all too, it may just be fatigue, but I feel myself slipping, not in productiveness but in the way I think and talk... I started forgetting some things, like blackouts caused from alcohol that I did not take- or has someone been spiking my bottle? Maybe that's it... than I must hold on just a bit longer without drinking or eating.
Never trust anyone but myself, that's how it has been and will be.
Entry N24
I knew it! They were up to something those... of course they were! I overheard it all! they must think I'm stupid just because I let them abuse me. But no no! I am neither clueless nor weak, it's just what I want them to believe!
Those crude assholes! Thinking they could get my reward without me! Planning to leave me behind as they go to the new spot they've found, but now I know too!
Tonight, I'll go in the cave and find it! Then it'll be all mine! Explosives will get the job done as always, I know how to use it better than them anyways and I will not leave that cursed cave until I get what I need!
Entry N25
It's over.
I found... nothing... nothing but emptiness and darkness.
My life, it's all... hopeless...
They must know something I do not... I've done my best and I...
The voice I don't recognize is loud in my head; it's been telling me to not give up but... what else is there left to do?
What... was that? Just now...? I heard it again and... I hear it loud and clear.
I know what that voice is, it must be my fate, what else could be this raw and real...?
I am doomed.
I am dead.
So shall they all be.
I now know what to do.
Entry N26
5 days ago, I woke up in a hospital, with police and journalists scattered around like blur of a sandstorm all around me.
I felt like choking.
I was choking.
My voice, barely recognizable to me answered the questions.
The answers came out simple.
I went in the cave, earlier than everyone, as usual, others must have followed soon after.
Then it all fell apart.
Someone must've simply misplaced the explosives... that's all.
I was under a rubble for what was apparently 3 days, but I crawled out.
I lived.
They died.
That's all there is to it.
They could only keep me in hospital for 5 days, I was unconscious for 2 and the money they took from my belongings, my savings, was only enough for one week. They gave me a magnetic ore they found in my pocket during a rescue and with looks full of disgusting judgement mixed with pity, discharged me.
When I got home, I found myself all alone and my brain was quiet for the first time in forever. I looked at the stone and like a robot, I started reshaping it, it had me pulled, hooked, but at least no more disturbed thoughts and flashes were screaming at me.
After I finished reshaping the ore, I felt like it understood me, after everything we went through, together. As I looked at it, I started seeing my future again.
There is one thing I know for sure now, is that my life is over... or at least one part of it has run its full cycle.
I can never go back to the darkness of the mines ever again.
I am alive. It's over.
Entry N27
Recovering has not been easy, but being all alone, doing absolutely nothing has been strange, but calming.
I removed the bandages recently; new angry red scars litter my face and body.
I deserve this.
Ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside.
Once I can walk better, I'll visit Benny again, maybe he will help me process and understand everything I went through.
I hope he does not think that since it's been a long time, that I've abandoned him.
Entry N28
I visited Benny.
Found him dead, tossed away like some garbage.
Looking at him this way, I've never felt emptier and alone.
All I could do; was lay two Para's over his eyes.
I think... it was the right thing to do... My father would have wanted this, maybe the old man too.
After these many years, my own future laid at my feet.
My journey was never one of progress and healing.
It was just that.
So may this be my last entry. As my short life going forward will be as repetitive as it was meant to be, I was never one to crawl out of the hole.
I might pick up prospecting, who knows, not that it matters anyway.
I never mattered, never will.
I was stupid enough to believe that I ever could, it was all childish dreams and wonder.
Just how it is to write in here. I am 24 years old now and my life is already over.
Entry N29
This thing is old, so am I now.
The only reason I am writing again, is to reflect and rationalize.
I have been living, for years now, all alone, mechanically and I feel myself rotting away slowly.
I believed I would die this way for the longest time, hungry and depraved of whatever kindness they say exists in this dammned world. It is not just melancholy, hysteria or the gloominess I hear is said about me from time to time, it's just my life.
All I have ever seen, was death and it was death what I brought upon this world too.
I may not have had any other destiny, or a purpose...
But what if after all that I've endured, there is something else for me left?
Do I, after what I have done, deserve a second chance? Because it looks like it is right there, in form of a letter, promising me all I have ever wanted - an opportunity, a simple one really, I just must go somewhere and do some tasks... Is there after all something in this universe looking out for me? Sounds too easy for me to be legit, but I should give it a chance at least?
The place is called Oletus manor, I will go there, I will be the one to give myself another try.
Entry N30
Last night, a carriage picked me up and dropped me off near a forest. As I was making my way to a larger-than-life building, I saw someone, she looked at me like I was a monster, then she ran away. I must've looked creepy in the dark, that's okay.
This morning, a butler accompanied me to a dining room, and I was free to order fresh bread and a glass of milk just as I wanted to. It filled my stomach well and will be now all ready and prepared for next instructions from my employer.
That same blonde woman showed up as I ate, she looked at me weird again, must've never seen a really hungry man before. She seems judgmental, just like them... her arrogant gaze reminds me of Mat- whatever.
I did not talk with her much, seemed better that way.
I like this place, it has a warm bath and beds, covered with sheets so soft I could never imagine. If all of this works out and nobody gets in my way, I will buy a house with a bedroom just like this.
Entry N31
I was instructed to keep taking notes. I don't know if it's just a rule or if they somehow knew that I was already doing so.
Surprisingly, nothing much has been happening other than the Journalist lady giving me some coins to have an interview.
It was nothing I hadn't done before, her accusatory tone, her insensitive questions, asking "did you murder them all?" without saying it out loud. I'm used to it all, so I answered her just like I did years ago, and I got some coins out of it too, after all, my time and words cost money. If I went around doing things for free since I was a young boy, I'd be worse than a brothel whore, money is what makes actions decent.
I wonder what it is next that I'll have to do.
Entry 32
Such a large amount of money!
I've never seen so much money before, not least in a mine. I'm sure many people will risk their lives to grab it!
This is simply unfair. The poor find it difficult to lead a comfortable life, while all the rich need to do is wave their banknotes around. Over the last 20 years, I lived like a rat in the gutter. I spent days under the ground in the dark just so I could earn a minimal living. Scars from the blasts crawled all over my face like maggots. The constant scorn and ridicule... I endured it every time just so I'd get a chance to climb up the ladder.
It's ridiculous how much effort I put into this-anyway, I've finally managed to crawl out from the rat hole. I no longer have to pick and pull on the disgusting ash. Those who did nothing but laugh at me deserve to stay underground and be stepped on like maggots forever.
I and only I deserve that money! Think about it, Norton Campbell. There won't be a better chance. Such a simple "game," such a generous employer. Clear an obstacle and you'll get a load of money. Isn't this much simpler than what you used to do?
No life is more precious than others. Just think about that woman, think about how arrogant she is!
Get rid of her before she takes any action!
Entry 33
What if I regret all of this...
No! I must be selfish! It's the only way! The time has come! Time to take action!
Entry 34
I am going insane here, I just am, that's all... but something's off... something... in my head... just like the last time... NO! It can't be...
Entry 35
...
Report 0.1
"It seemed that Norton Campbell did not get to finish his story.
I closed his diary in full disappointment, just as his life truly was full of nothing else."