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The TV was on mute, serving only as a source of light and to help you not feel too alone. It was already past midnight, and you wanted to preserve the quiet calmness of the night.
You had a book in your hands and a now empty cup of tea resting on your bedside table, beside a single lit scented candle Ava had gifted you a couple of weeks back. You hugged the blankets close to your body; it was a cold night.
Despite the sleep weighing on your eyelids, you kept yourself awake. Ava had gone out with Yelena and Walker for a simple job, not too dangerous. But she’s been gone for over two days, and you missed her.
Earlier today, she had sent you a text message that read: Back home tonight. Counting the minutes.
You could almost feel her own relief through the screen of your phone.
The relationship was new, you and Ava were still getting used to belonging with someone else. You still got butterflies in your stomach whenever she came to your room, and Ava was still timid when kissing you sometimes.
You loved it. You loved her. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
Ten more minutes went by, and then you heard the elevator of the Watchtower. You heard the voices of Yelena and Walker as they bid each other goodnight. Even past your bedroom door, you could easily tell they too were tired.
You got up from your bed with your heart already beating out of your chest. You pushed open your door, a small smile already tugging at your lips.
Ava stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room, looking between the door to your bedroom and hers, probably trying to decide which one to open. Her eyes widened a little when she spotted you. She took a step towards you instinctively.
You felt your heart swell at the sight of her. Your hands itched and begged to hold her.
Ava was still in her black Ghost Suit; there were specks of dust on her skin, and a prominent cut on her forehead.
The smile she gave you was all bashful and loving. She glanced at her feet when she spoke, “Hey.”
You closed the distance with more than a little urgency. The ends of your pajama pants dragged on the floor. You pulled Ava into a hug in lieu of greeting, arms closing tightly around her as your nose buried against her neck. “I was counting the minutes, too.”
Ava’s hands traced your back with care, as if memorizing the shape of you beneath her fingers. She eventually pulled away just to look at you. There was a soft furrow to her brows. The only light came from the moon outside, but if you looked closely, you could see a thin sheen of tears on the bottom lid of her bright eyes.
“You- you waited up for me?” Ava asked as if she were unworthy of the mere idea of you keeping yourself awake for her.
“Of course I did,” you told her easily in the same heartbeat. Your hands rested on her shoulders. From up close, you noticed her dry lips and the dried blood above her eyebrow. “I also left water ready in the kettle. I know you enjoy tea at night. Especially tonight.”
Ava’s mouth opened and closed while she searched for words that wouldn’t come. She looked at you as if you were something from a dream.
Ava brought a hand up. Careful fingers brushed against your cheek and placed stray strands of hair behind your ear. Her hand phased for a beat when her control stumbled at the same time her heartbeat did. She bit her lip. Timidness burned in her stomach.
Ava was still learning what it felt like to have someone care so deeply. To have someone who remembers her, someone who knows what she likes. To have someone do something simply because they want to see her happy.
The concept was still so novel that it almost caused the rogue tears in Ava’s eyes to fall.
Her thumb found your lower lip. Ava traced the shape of your mouth. “I don’t deserve you.” Her words, thick with her accent, were nothing but a whisper in the darkness of the night.
You leaned your head to the side, fixing Ava with a knowing look. You took her face between both your hands, brushing the apple of her cheeks with a soft touch. You leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss. “Yes, you do. That’s why you have me.” You promised against her mouth.
As if caught in a trance, Ava kissed the words. She grasped your wrist as if afraid you’d fade away, her other hand finding the skin on your hip where your shirt had ridden up. She kissed you over and over, until the need for air pulled you apart again.
She always got your breath running shallow, goosebumps rising on your skin. Your hands traveled down Ava’s arms, until your fingers tangled with hers.
“Come on, I bet you’re dying for a shower.” You tugged her towards your bedroom.
Ava chuckled under her breath, feeling her cheeks burn hot and her lips tingle with telltales of your love.
She said nothing when you closed your bedroom door behind her and pulled her into your bathroom. A smile sneaked its way onto Ava’s lips when she smelled the familiar scent of the candle she had so carefully chosen for you. It was the first gift she ever gave you. Her heart fluttered in her chest when you told her you kept it beside your bed, always close.
You flicked on the bathroom light, and then, almost reverently, you began taking off Ava’s suit. Piece by piece, you revealed more of her body. Some dark bruises painted her skin here and there. You placed a lingering kiss on top of each of them.
Ava held her breath, watching as the corner of her eyes grew blurry. You loved her easily, fully. Ava had never felt a love as present as yours. She felt faint, heart skipping a beat each time your lips found a new place on her skin.
You kissed Ava’s collarbone, and her skin raised with goosebumps.
Once Ava was bare in front of you, she did the same, slowly taking off the pajamas that covered your body. You joining her in the shower was a given; she knew, she didn’t have to ask.
You adjusted the shower’s temperature to what you knew Ava liked the most, the comfortable warmth that relaxed her muscles and took away the weight of the day. Before her condition was stabilized, Ava’s showers were quick and stressful; now, she was allowed to take her time to relax.
Ava bit the inside of her cheek in a poor attempt at containing a smile at your endless consideration for her. She didn’t know you observed her as closely as she observed you, to the point of remembering the smallest details. Her heart beat to the rhythm of your name. She shouldn’t be surprised.
You stepped under the running water first. Ava followed contentedly, she shivered when the warm water fell against her skin and hair, washing away the dust and stains of blood.
Before Ava could reach for the shampoo bottle, you took it. You silently motioned for her to turn around.
Ava hesitated, mouth hovering open as if you’d confused her. Ava didn’t know what to do with kindness, especially when it came from someone like you. Her hands fidgeted with one another, her eyes softening with something vulnerable and raw.
You leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose with a soft smile on your lips. It gave Ava the encouragement she needed. She let you wash her hair, committing to memory what it felt like to have your careful fingers massaging her scalp.
Ava closed her eyes when a shaky exhale fell past her lips. Being yours was quickly becoming addictive, Ava didn’t know if she’d ever learn to be anything else again. She didn’t want to.
Water cascaded down her soft skin. Delicately, you pushed away Ava’s wet hair after you’d rinsed off the shampoo. Your lips brushed the back of her neck, and for a moment, you lingered there, breathing her in. You kissed a path from her ear to her shoulder—a silent confession of love and adoration.
Ava leaned back into you, chasing after your touch like a lifeline. She felt your hands sneaking around her abdomen, holding her steady.
She turned around to face you, her hands instantly coming up to hold your jaw. Her bare body pressed against yours, and Ava was sure this is what heaven felt like; she would never feel more present in her own body than when it became one with yours.
Under the stream of the shower, Ava captured your lips with poorly concealed urgency. You both felt the warmth of the water drops between the kisses. Ava pressed herself impossibly closer, her nose touched your cheek, and her hands buried into your hair when she took your lower lip between both of hers.
Ava kissed you like she couldn’t believe you were real, and was trying to convince herself through your lips. She craved you, your touch, like a starved thing.
Your hands found their home on her waist, fingertips mapping each inch of her bare body, a caring touch passing over dark bruises and old scars as if in devotion. You slid your hands up, feeling the wetness of the skin on her ribs and then her shoulder blades.
You pulled her closer, relishing in her warmth, in the feel of her against you with nothing to keep you apart. There was no lust, only love.
When Ava pulled away, she gazed at you with half-lidded eyes and reddened lips. Her hand brushed away wet strands of hair that clung to your forehead. “Thank you for loving me,” her quiet voice was almost drowned out by the shower stream hitting the tiles.
Water clung to her eyelashes as she looked at you, and you followed a few drops as they slid down her freckles. The dried blood from the cut on her forehead had washed away already. You nuzzled your nose against Ava’s, and she trembled in your hold. “It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
You dried Ava’s hair for her when you stepped out of the shower. She avoided your eyes when she told you that you didn’t have to do it; her cheeks and the tip of her ears were red, from the hot water of the shower, or something else.
You gave Ava one of your hoodies for her to wear, while you put your pajamas back on.
Ava pulled the hood over her head. You felt your stomach flutter when you caught her turning her head to smell your perfume that still lingered on the fabric. Ava occupied a piece in your heart no one else could ever have.
When you walked to the kitchen to prepare her tea, Ava pressed her chest to your back, hugging you close while you waited for the water to boil. More than ever, you were grateful to be a witch, then. You didn’t have to step away; purple tendrils of chaos magic brought the mugs to your hands.
Some things were still new for Ava. You loved it all the same, it usually meant she clung to you whenever she could.
You turned around in her embrace. You tugged on the collar of your own hoodie as you pulled her in for a lazy kiss.
Ava’s damp hair tickled your cheek. You felt the shape of her smile against your lips. Your heart was so full of her, you could hardly call it your own.