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The bad seed, that's what they told her. She was the bad seed, Faith Lehane was the black sheep of the family, perhaps it was why she was the way she was now. All the moments when her parents told her they didn't love her and that she was a mistake; that ran through her subconsious and beat her up every single time anyone got close to her. She was no good and all she ever did was never enough. She was a drain, on her family and everyone around her. It was never a doubt in her mind that it was why she wasn't able to feel love, or happiness. It hurt to know that her only family never wanted her, never saw any use for her.
You see, Her father was an alcoholic and abusive father, hurting her both physically and emotionally. He never treated Faith or her mother right, and was never on the right side of the law. The last time she saw him he was being hauled off to jail for robbery and murder charges, so it was no surprise why she now has daddy issues, even to this day. If he hadn't been arrested for robbing a bank and killing a bank teller, who knows what might have happened to Faith and her mother.
She was relieved however when her father was sent to prison.. She was free from him finally, free from the pain and the torture and from being scared. Her watchers Wesley and Giles were never able to fill her emotional needs, never treated her the same way they treated Buffy 'I'm perfect' Summers. They just never were as invested in her as they were in Buffy.. All they saw a hopless lost girl who was not worth their time. It was how she saw it anyway.. It's why she still harbours restentment towards the blonde slayer.
Her mother, yes, lets talk about her mother. Her mother was a lovely mother till the day she met Michael Turner, her new husband. She remarried when Faith was 12. Michael somehow turned her against her daughter, making Paula hate her. Most mothers would be happy and proud when their daughter came home from school with high grades and trophies from Gymnastics. No, not Paula Lehane-Turner. She never once hugged her daughter and offered her praise for those moments in her life. All she got instead was a helpful lecture about how she should be at home to help her spoiled little half brothers and half sister do their chores and why should she even bother going to school as she would amount to nothing anyway. It was brusing to her ego when her mother constantly put her down, telling her how she wished she had never met her father.
Paula had fallen pregnant at 16 after a one night stand and her father had forced Paula and Faith's father Jack Lehane to marry, both resenting each other and then when Faith was born, resenting the small baby who was innocent to the world. Her mother walking out on the marriage when Faith was 4, the same time that her father was arrested and jailed for robbery and murder. Faith and her mother did manage to grow close for a while, She used to dote on Faith and even called her firecracker.. but that all changed the moment she gained a step father and then half-brothers and a half-sister. Faith kept it all bottled inside of her, never showing her mother and step father how she truly felt.
Her mother become too wrapped up in her perfect new little family to even worry about Faith, not even realizing when Faith went missing for 48 hours. She decided to finally walk away from her family for good at age 15 when she met watcher Diana Dormer who informed her that she was a potential slayer. Diana recognised that Faith many issues to deal with, giving her a stable and more happy environment. That was shattered however when Diana was killed by a strong vampire named Kakistos. It was around this time that Faith first met Buffy Summers and the Scooby Gang.. and that's when trouble began for her once more.
The slaying got to her head, and she lost her sanity, accidently killing a man and then from there stumbling off the rails, getting close to the Mayor of Sunnydale who was Bufy and the Scobby's enemy.
When Faith met Buffy, she thought that perhaps Buffy would become like a sister to her.. the little sister she was always meant to have.. However, instead, she was always jealous of 'B'.. She got the friends, the Watcher, the loving Mom, the handsome and sweet boyfriend (even if he was a vampire) and all she got was nothing. Just being pushed away once again.. Where did it get her? Oh yeah, she landed in a coma for 8 months, by none other then Buffy Summers. She doesn't even want to think about what else happened in her life after that, She had gone darkside, and was working on getting revenge on all of the people Buffy cared for including Buffy herself.
It was while trying to take out Angel that she realized how remorseful she was of her past actions, and she had wanted Angel to kill her, as she wasn't strong enough to do it herself. In turn Angel helped her and she became a prisoner herself, left to contemplate her actions and how close to her father she actually was. They had both been led down this path of destruction, only having themselves to blame for the hell they had caused those around them.
It was why now, 18 years later, in the year 2016 as she stood on her balcony with a glass of wine that Faith still had all these thoughts running through her mind, She was never good with accepting compliments, not from anyone and she refused to believe that she was cured from the hell she had been through all those years before. She had redeemed herself in many ways, however It was like an recovering alcoholic or drug addict.. She had to take it day by day, sometimes even minute by minute and never forget the damage she had created, for fear of it succumbing to the darkness again.
She had come a long way that was for sure, but she was not all the way there yet. There was still plently of healing to do and a lot of progress to be made and that's why as she stood on the balcony, she heard footsteps and then strong arms wrapping around her waist and pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder, she knew that she could do this.. "Dean", she sighed happily. They were both broken and in need of healing and although it would take a lot of trusting and letting her guard down, She was ready to finally move forward and let love and happiness in. She sighed in content as she closed her eyes and leaned into the embrace of her lover.