Chapter Text
Colet didn’t like group chats.
They were loud. Chaotic. Full of messages that started with “HAHAHAHAH” and ended with someone sending a blurry photo of a dog in a costume. Usually Gwen’s doing.
So when her phone buzzed with “hey can u drop by BGC cafe NOW pls it’s urgent 🥲🥲”, she nearly ignored it. But it was Mikha. Mikha never begged. And when Colet texted “what happened?” and got back a selfie of Mikha, Gwen, and Aiah Arceta with the caption “just get here”, she sighed and got in the motorbike.
She hadn’t even taken off her helmet yet when she saw Aiah sitting there in soft lighting, holding a matcha latte like it was fragile and sipping it like she had no idea what she looked like. Which was dangerous.
Aiah was the type of girl who wore perfume you could smell in your dreams. The kind of pretty that wasn’t threatening until you realized she could talk you into emotional ruin with just a “hey, can I ask you something?”
Colet had avoided her for exactly that reason.
But there she was. Practically glowing in yellow café lights, eyes wide, voice a little too sweet.
“I… need a favor.”
That was the beginning of all terrible decisions.
Colet kept her arms folded, mostly to keep herself from fidgeting. “What kind of favor?”
And then she said it.
“Pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for the weekend.”
She waited for the punchline. It never came. Instead, Aiah was looking at her like this was a normal thing to ask someone. Like it wasn’t a nuclear-level favor dropped into a casual Friday afternoon.
Colet glanced at Mikha and Gwen. Betrayal had a face and it was sitting there, eating fries.
“Let me guess,” Colet said slowly. “There’s a wedding.”
Aiah nodded.
“And your whole family’s going to be there.”
Another nod.
“And they all think you’re seeing someone.”
A reluctant smile this time. “I panicked.”
Colet stared. Her instincts were screaming: run, run far away, this girl has dimples and emotional danger written all over her. But Colet had never been good at listening to her instincts when it came to pretty girls with chaotic energy.
Also, her weekend plans had included editing her band’s demo and maybe eating cereal over the sink.
This sounded marginally more interesting.
Still, she made a show of pretending to consider. “Fine,” she said. “But I have one rule.”
Aiah tilted her head. “Yeah?”
Colet leaned in just enough to watch her expression change. “If someone throws a bouquet, I’m not catching it. You are.”
For a moment, there was silence.
And then Aiah smiled, like Colet had just handed her the sun.
“Deal.”
Colet didn’t smile back. Not on the outside.
But inside?
Yeah.
She was already doomed.
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“She Did What Now?”
Mikha’s Car – After Colet Leaves the Café
Mikha was gripping the steering wheel like she had just witnessed a crime.
“She said yes,” she whispered, as if still in shock. “She. Said. Yes.”
Jhoanna, from the back seat, blinked. “You mean Colet? Our Colet? Our ‘I-don’t-do-feelings, I-do-gigs’ Colet?”
“She agreed to be someone’s fake girlfriend,” Gwen added dramatically. “That’s a whole rom-com genre. We’re no longer in slice-of-life indie band film territory. This is lesbian K-drama now.”
Mikha stared out the windshield. “Aiah Arceta. Of all people.”
“I ship it,” Gwen declared immediately.
“Of course you do,” Jhoanna said, rolling her eyes. “You’d ship Colet with a cactus if it had good lighting.”
“But listen!” Gwen waved a fry in the air like a magic wand. “Aiah is sunshine. Colet is sarcasm. Aiah wears perfume. Colet smells like guitar strings and unresolved trauma. It’s perfect.”
“I’m just saying…” Mikha muttered. “If this ends in emotional destruction, I am not responsible.”
“But if it ends in gay love and hand-holding at sunrise?” Gwen grinned.
Jhoanna and Mikha exchanged looks.
“…Then we take full credit,” they said in unison.
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Aiah’s Apartment Later That Night
🧃Maloi:
AIAH.
I JUST HEARD.
YOU ASKED COLET VERGARA TO BE YOUR FAKE DATE???!?!?!
👑Stacey:
girl are you INSANE???
that woman looks like she pays taxes in silence and can fix a motorcycle with her mind
🫧Sheena:
ok but hear me out
they’re going to look STUPID cute together
like power couple who runs a queer book café in Sagada cute
🧃Maloi:
I CAN’T BREATHE.
THIS IS TOO POWERFUL.
WHO TOLD HER SHE COULD HAVE RIZZ???
👑Stacey:
wait wait wait
did colet say yes??
or did she give her a 12-minute speech about how emotions are a capitalist trap?
🫧Sheena:
apparently, she said yes.
and even made a joke about not catching bouquets.
like. flirting.
🧃Maloi:
goodbye. i’m dead. tell my cats i loved them.
👑Stacey:
if they kiss at the reception i’m going to scream into a paper bag
🫧Sheena:
if they don’t, I will scream into a paper bag
🧃Maloi:
operation: slow-burn sapphic disaster is officially LIVE 😌
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