Work Text:
There’s a ghost in my room.
Not just a ghost, a boy.
He taps on my mirror and scrapes his nails along my closet.
Every night, I can hear him sigh
“Why the disappointment?”
I would pry.
But he doesn’t respond.
During the day he moves my glass
Darkens the room with his shadow.
At first, I would be too scared to say hello.
As a subtle wave commenced
I raked my hand across his
the shadow’s cold and pricks your finger, but doesnt sting
because blood he does not need
He lays in my bed, staining my pillow with his scent
And as I go to sleep I breathe in deeply
My eyes slowly closing,
fingers feeling my arm, digging in the skin
In the morning He sits at the window
the breeze passing through him
reminding me of how fragile it is
to have a ghost in your life
running through the kitchen is what we would always do,
time passing by like the growth of your hair
stark and definite, but too uncertain to be on my mind
I never knew time could go by without you
my mom says boys dont turn into ghosts,
That you're not with me, but above and looking through the skies
You said ‘’I will never leave your side’’
and you’d hate to be so far away
so thats why you're in my mind
cleaning up my room when im too tired
yesterday you said someday we'll be together again,
not separated by the light
outside the sun makes you disappear
Your body looming over the sea
i can still hear your voice, when you yell at me
The rain pouring in, your expression a haze
you were overwhelmed, never heard such a confession before
a boy cant like a boy, even if it’s me and you
You were my angel, tearing me apart
feelings dont have to be returned
no matter how much i liked you
At moments where I gave up
you would raise your hand up to the sky
“im here!” you laughed
hearing that made me rethink
my thoughts all scrambled
My mother said were going to move
Even if Im happy now, my home is haunted
as your face distorts in the window
the nights get colder
“dont leave me” is what i whisper
even though i’m the one leaving
when the sun rises i climb onto the roof
And the clouds look like you
The trees smell like you
I see you everywhere
except for my room
I wish i could talk to you one last time
that you would tell me what’s wrong
why you left me all alone.
As the moving truck pulls up I hold your face in my hands
the tears stinging your eyes
hurting more than my arms wrapped in bandaids
your body lays still in the drain
as i flush my memories away
a pair of wings is all you wanted
No halloween costume could compare
to the beautiful ones you keep close
stroking your cheek with my thumb
still like the moon, cold like the river
ripped yourself apart like you were a doll
when I let you go, it’s all gone
realizing what’s in the past doesn’t come back
no matter how much i hoped
you were never here
barely alive, even though you tried
selfish of me to keep you breathing
when you choked halfway
blinded by love that wasnt returned
i kept you close
my diary and my muse
your eyes dead
engraved in my mind
When you died so did I
ridden of guilt you took care of me
your pale hand messing with my hair
as you stood at my bed
not invited but always there
I want to be with you
So we can sneak around
running through the town
my head on your shoulder when we catch our breath
maybe ill kiss you then
Just as friends because we cant be more