Work Text:
Matt didn’t expect to get far searching “Why do I feel uncomfortable being super masculine as a boy?” but here he was. He sat at his computer, adjusting his glasses like he could be possibly reading the information wrong. Apparently there were a whole ton of people who felt the same, and in his search he had stumbled upon an internet forum where they described their experiences. It freaked him out how relatable he all found it, like these people had lived his exact experiences.
Matt got up from his desk, flapping his hands in a half excited half panicked response. He finally had a word to describe how he felt, it felt totally amazing. ‘Transfeminine’ sometimes shortened to ‘Transfem’. However it also felt nerve wracking. Would people accept him like this? Did his friends even like people like that? Maybe he should just live with his discomfort for forever, he’s too weird to make new friends.
Matt was stuck in a dilemma now, stay uncomfortable and keep his friends, or lose his friends and feel better about himself. He frowned. He didn’t want to think the worst of his friends, but fear is a hell of a motivator. For weeks he kept his discovery to himself, using alternate accounts on that aforementioned forum to experience a bit of daily euphoria.
It felt like he was a ticking time bomb at that point, he especially wanted to tell Edd. They were always so close since they had met in Primary School, so keeping such a big secret from him felt absolutely horrible. He racked his brain for what to do, even consulted the forum, and everyone there basically said “if your friends don’t accept you, they’re not your friends”. That sentiment had given Matt the courage to tell the others, at least, eventually.
It took roughly three months for him to think about what to say to them, and to not back down from saying it. He gathered the other boys at Edd’s house, as it was the only place they could all agree on to hang out. Edd was sitting at his desk chair, but turned to face Matt. Tom and Tord were on Edd’s bed, waiting for whatever news was awaiting them.
There he stood in front of them, pushing up his glasses as a way to stall. Clearing his throat he spoke in a wobbly voice.
“I wanted you all here today so that I.. could share something.. important.. with you…” He didn’t dare look up at the boys staring at him, who were more confused or irritated (that they were wasting time) than anything else.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he got ready to possibly change his life forever. With a shaky breath it all came flooding out, like the dam had been weakened by a flurry of emotions and it finally broke.
“I was doing some research online and I discovered something! P..People like… well sometimes..! They’ll use other.. pronouns..? Like.. she/her…? It’s called.. being ‘transfeminine’.. B..Based on what I read about it, I feel like this term fits me perfectly and I.. would like it, if you all could refer to me as such…” He finally stopped talking to look at the boy's responses.
Tom still looked confused, along with Tord which made Matt nervous. Edd however was clearly understanding something. He laughed a bit, which made Matt nervous all over again. Edd himself must have noticed this as he tried to stop and apologize.
“I’m sorry..I’m sorry..! It’s just with the cryptic message I.. half expected you to admit to a murder or something!” He was still chuckling but trying to hold back as Matt visibly relaxed again.
“So… you don’t hate me..?” Matt questioned, mainly asking Edd as she met his eyes, despite his bangs covering them.
“What? I’d be sort of a hypocrite then, wouldn’t I?”
“WHAT?!” The room erupted in confused shouts, all of them looking back at Edd like he had three heads.
“You guys didn’t know? I’m.. a trans boy..” he nervously smiled, scratching his neck awkwardly.
Tord looked around and raised an eyebrow at Edd.
“I was born a girl, but sort of gravitated towards how I am now…” He said with uncertainty. Not long after however, Matt pulled Edd into a hug. Tears were streaming down her face as she clung onto him like if she let go, she’d fall.
“OhhEddIwassoworriedyou’dhatemeforeverandIwouldhavenofriendsleftandhavetoeatlunchaloneandbealoneforeverforalloftimeeee!!” She wailed, as Edd sighed exasperated.
“What? Matt I can barely understand you when you talk that fast, stop being dramatic..” He groaned, gently removing himself from her grip.
“Sooo… you just.. want us to refer to you differently?” Tom questioned, shifting his position in the bed.
Matt slowly nodded, pushing up her glasses as relief filled her.
“I still don’t know what you were so scared about.. Tom literally doesn’t have eyeballs, they’re weirder things than the terms you use to refer to yourself you know..” Edd flicked his wrist, his bangs shifting with his exaggerated movements.
Tom squinted his eye sockets in Edd’s direction in minor annoyance at the implication, but turned his focus back to Matt. Tord giggled to himself about it.
“Anyways, we can totally do that. No big deal. Now, can we go get some of Ms. Cole’s delicious cookies?” Tom asked more towards Edd, made notable by the fact he panned to look at him with a grin.
“Geez, how fat are you.. Yeah, fine, let's go downstairs.” Edd stood up from his desk chair to leave the room, not before being punched in the shoulder by Tom. Tord promptly followed behind them both, leaving Matt standing there in shock at how smoothly everything went. She was truly in disbelief. Edd stopped and turned back to her, tilting his head.
“Hey Matt, are you coming?” Tom poked his head in while in front of Edd.
“Unlike you, she could use the extra pounds..” He joked, as Edd glared at Tom.
Matt smiled back towards them, holding her tears back.
“Uh… Yeah.. I’m coming..!” She could barely contain her excitement of her friends accepting her.
The boys (and Matt) made their way downstairs to indulge in homemade treats baked by Edd’s mom. Matt was truly at home with this group, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.