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Sometimes things that started small wound up being disasters.
That had always been the case for Danny in his youth.
The stress of being in an unimaginably popular band that was almost always on tour (and almost always fighting towards the end) had been too much for him.
Things that would start as fleeting anxieties would turn into full fledged panic.
Thankfully now that Love Handel had reformed, and he, Sherman and Bobbi were back together and happier than ever his anxiety had gotten much less severe.
But even now he would occasionally find himself gripped by panic completely out of the blue.
Today was unfortunately one of those days,,,
It had all started before the day had even properly begun.
Danny had woken up before Bobbi or Sherman that morning to make a breakfast of scrambled eggs and waffles for the three of them.
Sherman had been delighted, and even Bobbi had seemed happy enough.
There were still very few substantial foods that Bobbie would be mildly pleased by- he would eat them, but not as much as should have, and rarely without hesitation even now…
Bobbi’s not fully healed eating habits had been exactly what was on Danny’s mind that morning.
He had started doing his best to monitor how much Bobbi ate so he could make sure it was actually enough.
Bobbi arely ate as much as he probably should have, but it had been a while since he had starved himself to an actually worrying degree.
Bobbi was making a lot of progress, he really was… But Danny was still worried.
Even at that very moment Bobbi was pushing his plate off to the side to show he was done- his plate which still had probably more than half of his food on it.
“Bobbi- Are you sure you’re done?” Danny asked, doing his very best to keep his stress from bleeding into his voice.
“Yes,” Bobbi replied, “The food’s delicious, I’m just not very hungry.”
“Alright…”
It was okay.
Sometimes people weren’t hungry.
Even people who were actively recovering from an eating disorder which was probably anorexia which had a disturbingly high fatality rate.
But Bobbi was okay.
He just wasn't hungry.
That was all
He wasn't going to lose Bobbi- Right?
He couldn't imagine what life would be like without Bobbi.
That might sound ridiculous because he had lived almost a full decade of life away from Bobbi- Bur that was different.
Even though he hadn't been with Bobbi that hadn't changed that Bobbi was out there somewhere.
The idea of Bobbi being not only not around him but gone all together was impossible to imagine.
He couldn't lose Bobbi-, he had only just got him back.
He couldn't-
All of a sudden he was startled out of his trance like state of panic by the sound of Sherman’s voice,
“Danny?”
“Yeah- What?”
“Are you okay? You've been starin’ a lot. And you've been holding that fork like you're trying to break it in half.”
“I'm okay,” Danny replied, although even he could hear the distressed edge to his voice.
Bobbi and Sherman exchanged a look which very clearly said they were unconvinced and worried.
“You're sure?” Bobbi asked.
The fact that Bobbi was the one worrying over him felt completely impossible.
Bobbi was the one who wasn't okay, not him.
“Of course I am,” Danny insisted.
“Talk to us Danny,” Bobbi said softly, laying a reassuring hand on Danny’s back.
“I already said I was okay!” Danny said much louder than he'd meant to, rising from his seat in an unwanted fit of sudden emotion, “You're the one who's not okay!” He instantly regretted two things; the first was that he had snapped at Bobbi, and the second was that he had actually voiced any part of the fear that was bubbling up inside him- He didn't want to worry the others, he didn't want to have to confront this.
“What?” Bobbi looked and sounded more concerned than ever.
Him and Sherman were both staring up at him.
“I…” Danny did not want to talk about this, he really didn't… But he felt like he had gone too far to turn back now, and the words were escaping him seemingly without any sort of input from his brain, “I can't lose you, Bobbi- I- I just can't,” he would have liked to better articulate the idea, to add more detail to what was surely a completely unexpected statement, but he had only just managed to get the words out before his voice completely gave way to sobs.
Bobbi and Sherman both immediately rushed to his side, but Bobbi was the one who made it to him first,
“Danny!- I'm not going anywhere!” Bobbi assured him, although he sounded rather alarmed.
Bobbi pulled Danny into a tight hug which Danny immediately returned.
He did everything he could to focus on the feeling of Bobbi alive and well wrapped up in his arms.
Bobbi’s hold on him was firm- not weak and shaking like it had been in the past.
Bobbi was so much stronger than he had been in the beginning.
He was softer too'- Black when they had first got back together Bobbi had been all skin and bones, and Danny felt that every time he held him.
But now he could physically feel that Bobbi was doing better.
Once Danny had collected himself somewhat he slowly removed himself from his partners' embrace.
“Are you ready to talk about this, Danny?” Bobbi asked gently, “Whatever this might be?” He added with a very small and nervous laugh.
“You… You didn't eat much of your breakfast and I just… I just sort of panicked…”
“Danny,” Bobbi said with a soft smile, “I'm touched that you care this much about my well-being, I really am- And I'm not going to pretend that I've completely fixed my body image issues- But right now I really am okay,” He assured him, “The reason I didn't have much of an appetite this morning was that me and Sherman stayed up irresponsibility late last night watching that James Bond movie marathon. By the time we were actually thinking about going up to bed we had both been awake so long that we were starving,” He explained, “Sherm made us both sandwiches at around six in the morning; that was barely three hours ago.”
Danny was at a complete loss for words for a minute.
Almost all of his residual panic left him as he thought over what Bobbi had just said.
Of course there was still progress to be made, but Bobbi was really doing much better.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Bobbi repeated in absence of a response from Danny, “I promise,” He added, taking Danny's hands in his and giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“I'm gonna hold you to that,” Danny said, squeezing Bobbi's hands right back.
Bobbi smiled at him, the concern slowly ebbing from his face,
“I love you, Danny.”
“I love you too.”
This was exactly when Sherman cut in,
“Isn't anyone gonna say how much they love me?”
His complaint carried no wait, it was simple teasing; he already knew just how much he was loved.
Any remaining stress in the room vanished as both Danny and Bobbi turned their attention to Sherman.
“You know you're the glue that holds us together, Sherm,” Bobbi said, giving Sherman a quick kiss.
“I thought you were never gonna say it,” Sherman replied with a grin.
Things wouldn't always be quite this carefree, there would be times when his concerns wouldn't be so easily resolved, but for the time being Danny would do his best to set his anxiety aside and just enjoy this as best he could.