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Being a father isn’t easy. It’s especially not easy when you have to leave your husband by himself to carry and take care of the baby.
When Kiyoomi and Atsumu were 31 years old, Atsumu decided to retire and help his twin out with the shop. Another reason was that the couple found out Atsumu was expecting, and they decided, after many arguments, that Atsumu would stop playing volleyball. Kiyoomi, however, couldn’t give volleyball up, and he chose to sign with an international team.
“Ya… agreed to this without asking me?” Atsumu asked, his voice cold.
“I didn’t know I needed permission to make choices about my life,” Kiyoomi replied with a flat voice.
“Are you serious?! We’re about to be a family, and you’re leaving me. This isn’t about permission,” Atsumu was starting to raise his voice. “How are you going to be a dad like this?”
“I will be here. I’m going to make it work.”
“Well, it isn’t. It won’t work unless you’re physically here, Kiyoomi.” Atsumu didn’t wait to hear any response from Kiyoomi and walked away.
The couple didn’t speak until it was time for Kiyoomi to go overseas. Atsumu refused to look Kiyoomi in the eye.
“Look at me, please, baby?” Kiyoomi spoke softly, pulling Atsumu closer. “I’ll call every day, I promise. I won’t let you go through this alone.”
“I will be alone.”
“Atsumu.”
“What, Omi? Ya just want me to… want me to let ya do all this? I just— I’m scared.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I can’t let this opportunity go, Atsumu.”
“Ya always know when to not choose me.”
“I don’t want to fight with you right now, not today, please.”
“Then maybe you should go.”
“Atsumu…”
“Say bye to yer baby and go.”
Kiyoomi leaned down to be eye-level with Atsumu’s stomach. The small bump wasn’t visible under Atsumu’s t-shirt, but Kiyoomi could feel it. He rubbed small circles with his thumbs before giving a soft kiss. Kiyoomi straightened his back again and looked at Atsumu. He cupped the side of Atsumu’s face and brought him closer by the waist. He connected their lips together.
“I love you.” Kiyoomi whispered against Atsumu’s lips when they pulled apart. “I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be. Please answer my calls.”
Atsumu hesitated, but he nodded slowly. He wrapped his arms around Kiyoomi’s neck to pull him in for another kiss.
“I love you too. Be safe, Omi.”
Kiyoomi kissed him one last time before taking his suitcases and heading to the check in.
—
For a year, Atsumu and Kiyoomi did long distance. It wasn’t easy at first, but Kiyoomi tried. He made sure he always called, made sure he answered all of Atsumu’s texts, and kept track of their baby’s growth. Atsumu had been worrying that Kiyoomi might miss the delivery of the newest addition to their family. But Kiyoomi didn’t allow that, because when the important week came, he flew back to be with Atsumu. He was with Atsumu through all the pain, all the joy, and all the chaos of welcoming their son into the world.
Sakusa Hikaru was born, surrounded by the overbearing love of his parents.
But that joy didn’t last long, as Hikaru was born in October—- just as the pro season for Italy’s SuperLega began. Kiyoomi had to leave after a few days. With many tears and apologies, he flew back to his team.
—
During Kiyoomi’s off-season, Atsumu decided they should celebrate Hikaru’s birthday earlier because Kiyoomi was going to miss it anyway. The guilt was eating Kiyoomi alive, but he didn’t say anything.
Their friends and the other kids all gathered together, singing to their son. Atsumu smiled while holding Hikaru. Kiyoomi kept his distance, standing in the background as he watched his family celebrate. Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi and reached for him.
“What do you need, baby?” Kiyoomi whispered, thinking Atsumu needed something for the cake.
Atsumu shook his head and pulled Kiyoomi’s hand so he could be closer— next to his husband and child— to show that he belonged in the family, that he is part of this family. Kiyoomi smiled softly at Atsumu’s gesture.
Later that night, Kiyoomi laid his head on Atsumu’s chest as the other ran his fingers through his curls, their son sleeping in the crib placed next to their bed.
“Love…” Atsumu started, and Kiyoomi hummed in response. “Did I ever make ya feel like y’re not a part of this family?”
Kiyoomi picked his head up to look at Atsumu. “What? No, never. Why did you think that?”
“Just everythin’ I saw today. Ya can be involved, ya know that, right?”
“I know, baby, it’s just…” Kiyoomi paused to hug Atsumu so that Atsumu was cuddling him instead. “I feel guilty. It is my fault. I couldn’t even give up my career for the love of my life. I’m sorry.”
“Ya apologized ta me ten million times! I said it’s okay, babe. Should I learn how ta say ‘it’s okay’ in Italian?”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes and laughed. “I’ll want to hear it. I know I apologized, but I can’t take back time.”
“Then stop trying to take back time, and work on the time we will have in the future.”
“I will make it up to you, and Hikaru. I don’t know how lucky I got with this family.”
“Yeah, y’re one lucky guy, Omi.”
“Thank you for letting us be a family.”
Atsumu chuckled softly before pecking Kiyoomi’s lips. “Mmm… ya better be thankful.”
“I’m so thankful. Think you’ve got maybe two more in you?”
“Kiyoomi.” Atsumu pinched Kiyoomi’s hips.
“What? I just need to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“Ya know what? Just— just shut up.”
Kiyoomi laughed, placing his hand on the back of Atsumu’s head as their lips met again. They ended the day with more laughter and kisses, and the soft coos of their son.