Work Text:
The year Raphael turned 10, his mother told him and his little brothers that they were going to visit their abuela in New York for the summer. To say he was excited was an understatement, he loved his abuela (she didn’t make him babysit his brothers for one and she always sent him American sweets for his birthday) and he had never been to a big city like New York before. Sure, he was a little bit upset that he wouldn’t be able to see his friends for weeks but he’s sure that he would find some other children to play with that weren’t his brothers.
The day of their flight was only a few days after the last day of term and Raphael didn’t think he could be more excited that he was now. The days leading up to their flight, he had unpacked and repacked his bag multiple times to make sure he had everything that he needed, he had also done this with his brother’s bags who all fussed and huffed when he took out some of their toys to put more clothes in. But now today was the day, they were up early to catch the 9:00 am flight and arrived in New York just before 3pm, where his mother dragged them through the crowed airport to grab their luggage before grabbing them a bright yellow taxi that they took to his abuelas large house.
When they got there, they were given hugs and kisses and shown which room they were going to be sleeping in (Raphael got his own room away from his brothers for once) before dinner and after that they were sent up to their room to unpack before all the boys passed out on their beds after the hectic day. The next morning after breakfast Raphael was sitting by the sitting room window watching cartoons on the TV when he spotted him across the street. A small brunette boy around about his age with a Spiderman t-shirt on and huge round glasses that looked almost too big for his face.
“Abuela! Abuela!” He calls, not looking away from the boy, who looked to be mindlessly chatting to, who Raphael assumed, was his sister while he played with some action figures in the grass. “Si, Raphael?” She asks, coming over to the window as well.
“Who is that boy?” He asks, finally glancing away from the window to his abuela. “Oh that’s Ms Lewis’ boy. Sweet boy, Simon his name is. He’s 10 as well.” She answers, smiling at her grandson. “Can I go play with him?” He asks eagerly, looking back out the window where the boy, Simon, was pretending to make the action figures fight against each other. “I don’t see why not, but make sure you stay over there nieto, or come back over if he doesn’t want to play. We don’t want you to get lost.” She tells him, as Raphael rolls his eyes because he’s 10 not a baby, and quickly leaves the window and grabs his trainers and a jacket before leaving the house to meet Simon.
The closer Raphael gets to Simon the more he can hear that Simon isn’t talking to his sister, he’s putting on voices for his action figures and making whooshing noises when they fly and grunts and small cries when they get hurt which makes Raphael smile at the silliness. He carefully walks across the stress and stops at the pavement just before the grass of the front garden.
“¡Hola! Can I play with you?” Raphael asks, watching as both Simon’s and his sisters head snap up to look at him. “Our mum says we aren’t allowed to play with strangers.” The girl says matter-of-factly before Simon could answer him, much to Raphael’s disappoint, it’s not like he wanted to play with a girl anyway.
“I’m not a stranger. I’m Raphael Santiago, my abuelas house is over there. My brothers and I are staying over for the summer.” He tells them, pointing across the street to the house before looking back to Simon. “I saw you playing with your superhero’s and I wanted to play too. My brothers are all boring.” He says adamantly, watching as Simon nods, like he knows what it’s like to have a boring sibling.
“I’m Simon, and that’s Rebecca my sister.” Simon says, pulling himself off of the grass and walking over to the pavement towards him. “What does a-bu-e-la mean?” Simon asks him curiously, tilting his head a little, which made Raphael think of the puppy his friend had at home.
“It means grandma in Spanish.” Raphael answers, watching as Simon’s face lit up. “Oh you speak another language? That’s so cool. Me and my best friend Clary don’t know anything cool like that. She’s away to London on holiday for two weeks which is totally unfair to leave me with nobody to play with. But now you can come over all the time.” Simon speaks excitedly, before pulling Raphael by the wrist onto the grass and handing him a Captain America figure and telling him to ‘play carefully with him cause he’s my favourite superhero okay?’ before explaining what he had been playing.
By the time Simon was called in for dinner they were both exhausted. They had played with superhero’s, played hide and seek in Simon’s back garden, Simon’s mum had made them all lunch and Simon introduced him, they had watched some cartoons, raced from the bottom of the garden to the top to see who was the fastest (Simon) and tested who could spin a hula-hoop around for the longest (Raphael). It was brilliant, much better than playing baby games with his brothers or watching cartoons by himself and Simon had invited him over the next day so they could play again. It was just brilliant.
Over the next couple of weeks, Raphael was nearly always with Simon. The only times he wasn’t was when Raphael went sightseeing for the day, or on Sunday’s when he had church. He also doesn’t meet Clary that year as her parents decided to travel a little longer than expect but Raphael didn’t mind, it meant he got Simon’s attention all to himself.
The year Raphael turned 11, his mother told him and his little brothers that they were going to visit their abuela in New York for the summer again.
This time he wasn’t as excited as he was before for a few different reason; for one he hadn’t spoken to Simon since he left last summer so he had no idea if he would remember him. Two, he had a black eye which looked awful because his father had given it to him only a few days before when he came to “visit”. Lastly, now that his brothers were a bit older they wanted to see much more of New York then they had before meaning that if Simon was there and remembered him Raphael probably wouldn’t be able to see him as much. However, he loved his abuela and wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see her and if Simon remembered him and still wanted to hang out then he wouldn’t oppose to that either.
They travelled the same journey as last time meaning they arrived in the afternoon again and when Raphael looked over to Simon’s house he noticed that there wasn’t a car in the driveway, there was no lights on in the house and most of the curtains were shut. When he asked his abuela about Simon again she told him that the Lewis family were gone for 2 weeks (the week before they arrived and that week) to visit relatives. Raphael tried not to show how disappointed he really was, just let his abuela fuss over his darkly bruised eye and pretend he couldn’t hear his mother and her arguing in the kitchen after dinner about his “bueno para nada padre” while him and his little brothers watched the TV.
The week that Simon was away felt like the longest week Raphael had ever had. Sure they went into the city some days and they all went to church on Sunday but only having his brothers for company was boring, so when Tuesday came Raphael excitedly sat on his abuelas front lawn while his little brothers chased each other around, waiting for Simon. When Raphael spotted the large car pull into the driveway he stopped lounging on the grass immediately and watched as Rebecca got out of the car with a small pick rucksack slung over one shoulder and a large doll in her arms, then Simon’s mother Elaine who got out and went to the back of the car to get their heavier luggage and then Simon.
He looked the same as he had the year before, maybe a little taller (or at least now taller than Raphael who hadn’t put much height on at all in the last year) but he still had the round black glasses and the slightly curly brown hair and as last time he still seemed to be talking endlessly to whoever would listen to him. His mother had said Simon was cute and Raphael definitely thought that word fitted him. Raphael felt his heart flutter a little when Simon looked over the street and spotted him, beaming brightly. He didn’t understand why he felt like that but it didn’t seem bad and anyway, Simon was handing his own small rucksack to his mother before jogging across the street to him.
“You’re back!” He grins, landing down heavily next nudging their shoulders together happily. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come again this year when you didn’t come over before I went on holiday. I’m glad you’re here though. This year you can meet Clary and if you’re still here you can come with me and her to see the 4th July parade. Luke, he’s basically Clary’s dad said he would take us.” Simon rambles, before looking at Raphael properly and frowning. Before Raphael can even open his mouth to ask what’s wrong or about the parade, Simon’s hands are on his cheeks and a thumb is gently rubbing the yellowy green bruise that was still healing under his eye. “What happened?” Simon asks quietly, his bottom lip stuck out in a pout as he stare at the bruise sadly and then right into his own dark eyes waiting expectantly for an answer.
Raphael sat quietly for a few moments trying to regather his thoughts having, for some odd reason, completely lost them all as soon as Simon’s hands were on his face, before he spoke. “It was an accident. My dad had been…it was just-it was an accident.” He stutters out, swallowing thickly as Simon pouts even deeper. “It’s fine now, it was really black last week and the day after it happened my eye was swollen shut so I could see very well. I kept bumping into things, which my brother’s thought was hilarious.” He huffs, rolling his eyes a little, glancing over to his brother’s to make sure they were okay, before back to Simon.
“I’m okay, I promise.” He adds, hopefully to stop Simon from pouting. It works a little, which makes Raphael happier, as he puts his hand on one of Simon’s wrists (his other arm still holding him up from the grass) and gently pulls it away from his face and his eyes. “C’mon. Tell me more about this 4th of July parade. I didn’t get to see it last year.” He asks smiling at Simon, until he reluctantly starts telling him about the big floats and fireworks.
Like promised, that year he does meet the infamous Clary Fray, a fiery redhead who takes up too much of Simon’s attention and makes Simon trip over himself to impress her (which Raphael does not like). They all go to the 4th of July parade with Luke and Clary grabs Simon’s hand and drags him all around and Raphael’s more than sure that he hates her.
The year Raphael turned 14, he had been going to New York every year for the past 4 years. He and Simon had become very close and sent each other emails constantly, talking about; school, Simon would talk about Clary and Raphael would talk about his own friends, they would talk about what they were going to do when Raphael arrives and anything else they can think of that day.
Simon’s already sitting on his doorstep when the taxi pulls up to his abuelas house and Raphael felt warm when he saw him. Simon had changed since the year before, he had grown even more much to Raphael’s annoyance and he know had long limbs which he clearly had trouble controlling. He also had gotten more stylish black framed glasses, though Simon had mentioned thinking about getting contact lenses he had decided he like his glasses much better, but apart from the obvious physical differences he was still the same goofy nerdy Simon Lewis.
He, himself had gone through some physical changes as well, he unfortunately hadn’t gotten any taller but he had filled out a bit. His shoulders were broader and he had more definition in his biceps and legs but apart from that he was still like he had been in previous years. He pulled himself out of the taxi and just had time to put down his bag before Simon pulled him into a tight one armed hug. “I missed you Raph.” Simon mumbles into his neck as he hugged him, making Raphael laugh, feeling overwhelmingly happy and light. “Missed you too Si.” He smiles, hugging him tightly. Simon eventually let’s go and quickly examines his face, he always did this after what his dad did before even after he had told him he never saw his dad again after that, it was comforting.
“Hijo, could you stop standing in the middle of the road please.” Guadalupe calls from the pavement where she stood with the luggage, his abuela and his brothers watching the boys fondly. “Yes mama.” Raphael answers, blushing a little as he pulls Simon by the wrist onto the pavement to grab his luggage. Simon and I will be upstairs if that’s alright?” Raphael says to his abuela who nods easily, letting him kiss her cheek. “Thank you Mrs Santiago.” Simon calls, before Raphael pulls him into the house and up to his room with his luggage.
“The church won’t like that, you know.” Guadalupe says to her mother, watching the boys go. “Probably not no, but then again they liked your ex-husband.” She answers turning to her daughter. “They aren’t always right. Just be happy he’s found someone so sweet.” She smiles, before looking down are her other grandson’s. “Well why don’t you boys put your luggage away and then help me with dinner.” She says, shooing them away.
That afternoon, they spent laying on Raphael’s bed talking about everything they couldn’t through email. Simon talked of Clary; how pretty she was, how good at art she was and all the other amazing things she did. It hurt Raphael to no end listening to it but Raphael did because he didn’t want to waste a second arguing with him when he was in New York.
However, he had started to get these feeling quite a bit nowadays about Simon. Whenever he spoke to or about Simon he felt giddy and overly happy, much more than he did when talking about his normal friends. He also felt his heart flutter a bit and his breath catch when Simon touch him, even if it was just nudging his shoulder or grabbing his wrist to pull him around, the feeling was there. And lastly, whenever Simon brought up Clary Fray or when all three of them hung out together and she was take all his attention he got a feeling that he couldn’t quite describe, it was like this intense anger with a sharp sting of hurt and emptiness. He had planned on asking his abuela and his mother about this but it felt embarrassing. He was 14, he didn’t need his mama to help him all the time, plus it wasn’t like all those feelings were there all the time, just sometimes.
“-And then she kissed me! Which was strange but it was kinda cool too y’know? It didn’t last long and I kind of wish it was Clary but it felt awesome.” Simon grins, his cheeks dusted pink from admitting he wanted Clary to kiss him, but Simon lay there in shock looking over to his friend. Clearly while he was thinking about his stupid feelings Simon had started telling him something about being kissed and he had totally missed it.
“Wait. What?” He asks, shaking his head a little trying to concentrate. “Who kissed you and when?” Raphael asks in shock, watching Simon huff and roll his eyes like he always does when Raphael drifts off during a conversation.
“I’m not telling you the whole thing again. Basically, I had to stay at school late a couple of weeks ago with Maureen to do a history project and when we stopped at her house before I went home she just kissed me. Straight on the mouth too.” He says, smiling a little. “Only a few other guys in my grade have kissed a girl so it’s pretty cool.” He adds, smirking a little at Raphael.
There was that feeling again, the one he got when Simon was paying too much attention to Clary and not him. The sick twisting sensation in his stomach and the anger. “Oh, erm.” Raphael starts just as his abuela pushes open the door. “Simon, your mothers here, she says it’s time for dinner. You can see Raph tomorrow.” She says kindly.
Simon sighs but nods and stand up, pulling Raphael from his own lying down position to sitting up so he can give him another tight hug and a promise of meeting him tomorrow before he stumbles his way downstairs, leaving Raphael alone with his thoughts and that feeling raging within him.
They don’t talk about Simon’s kiss after that. They enjoy the weeks they have together, Simon takes him to his favourite comic book shop where Raphael mostly rolls his eyes and listens to Simon’s in depth knowledge of every superhero and super villain from Deadpool to the Green Goblin. They end up having a lot of rain that year too so they also stayed in at either Simon’s house or Raphael’s watching cartoons and playing games, sometimes if they fell asleep on the couch or Simon’s bed together Elaine would take a few pictures, not that either of them knew. Both mothers could see the way Raphael felt about Simon even if he didn’t know himself or not at least for another two years.
The year Raphael turned 16, he was absolutely terrified to go over to New York. He had discovered through experimenting that he definitely did not like girls. That was problem number one, not only would his mother be disappointed but homosexuality is a sin to the church and Raphael was raised a good catholic boy okay? Problem number two, through the help of cheesy rom com’s, internet searches and more experimenting, he had discovered that he was hopelessly and completely unfortunately in love with Simon Lewis.
Only a few months ago Simon had been emailing him telling him that Clary was dating a guy in their grade, which gave him the giddy light feeling again and started him on his hunt for why he felt that way. When he had asked him mother being love she told him that everybody had the opportunity for love but the special kind of love between two people could be rare and was extremely beautiful, that it caused experience emotions with so much intensity that the good can feel like the best thing in the world but the bad could feel awful.
That’s when he finally knew he was in love with the idiota, because eveything he did felt brilliant and like Raphael was flying but when he spoke of Clary or a girl he’d been dating or worse a guy he’d been dating, it felt like someone had dropped an anvil on his chest.
He had tried to get out of going but his mother refused. She was stubborn and she’d already bought his plane ticket so he had to go, but he did have a good huff about while his brothers sat next to him on the plane and taxi rolling their eyes and mimicking his antics.
As usual, Simon was sitting on his doorstep waiting for him like he had been the last couple of years, ready to give him a tight hug and check his face for any blunt force trauma, even if he tried to make it less obvious now. During their usual hug Raphael was tense, he doesn’t want to give away any of the information that he’s just learned and he doesn’t want to indulge himself because he’s not right by the church for him to have these thoughts.
He can see by the way Simon pulls away frowning that he’s already guessed something is up but Raphael waves his hand. “I’m just tired, you know. I’ve been working out more, so that’s tiring.” He tells Simon awkwardly. He slips away from Simon to the back of the taxi to grab his bag, using on hand to press to his gold cross that was against his chest to remind himself to stay calm.
They are a bit awkward at first. Simon was clearly trying to figure out what was bothering him and Raphael was trying to act normal and keep his distant but that wasn’t really working for him. They slowly slipped back into their old habits of hanging out all the time and being close and going out places together. It was delightful even if it hurt Raphael sometimes, he just couldn’t stop loving Simon.
The night before Raphael had to go home that year Simon told him about the eclipse. “Yeah, it’s happening tonight just before midnight. My mum said I couldn’t go but I thought if we both sneak out and meet down the street then we can both head to the park and watch it. Do one last cool thing before you leave tomorrow morning.” Simon grins brightly, as they walked back from the music store Simon had taken him to. That particular smile that was filled with excitement and hope and was one of the reasons Raphael couldn’t say no to Simon about anything.
Things go to plan that night, Raphael tells his mother and abuela that he’s going to his bed just before 11, waiting 10 minutes before he pulls on one of Simon’s hoodies that he had left at some point and a pair of trainers and silently climbing out his window and making his way through the back garden before sprinting down the street to the corner, finding Simon already standing there with a torch and a bag over his shoulder.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were going for a hike.” He says sarcastically, laughing when Simon shoves him. “I brought snacks thank you very much, but if you’re going to be that way, you get no chocolate.” Simon say, with no heat in his words before taking his wrist like usual and pulling him to the park in silence.
Simon decided to stop them in the centre of the park away from all the trees which had a perfect view of the moon when they sat back. The grass was slightly dampened with dew but not bad enough not to sit on, so both of them sat down putting their hands behind them in the grass, almost touching Raphael’s brain supplied, and looked up at the bright full moon.
“So I looked up about lunar eclipses and this one is only a partial lunar eclipse and they can happen around 6 or 7 times a year where total ones only happen a maximum of 3 times a year.” Simon explains, glancing to him. “Usually they can take a few hours but because it isn’t a full one I don’t think it will take as long but I don’t know.” He admits, turning to Raphael completely who glances over and smiles to show him he’s listening.
“I’ll miss you when you leave again tomorrow.” Simon admits after a few moments of silence. “Yeah, Si I know. I’ll miss you too.” He sighs softly, repressing the urge to slide his fingers over Simon’s and give a light squeeze. “I just wish you could stay longer than 6 weeks. Emails aren’t the same as hanging out with you. Maybe I could come visit you in Zacatecas? Instead of you coming here all the time.” He suggests excitedly, looking back up to the sky. “Oh, look. I think that’s it starting.” He beams, squinting up at the sky as Raphael turned to watch him instead.
He was really beautiful. It wasn’t the first time Raphael had noticed this but in the moonlight with an excited look on his face, and his mouth moving fast as he spoke probably about the eclipse made him look even more beautiful than before.
Then Simon was turned to look at him with a huff expression and a pout on his face. “Raphael you’re supposed to be watching the eclipse.” He whines, which Raphael things is just adorable and before he can stop himself bringing his right hand up from the damp grass and pressing it to Simon’s cheek, his fingers curling around the back of Simon’s head, his thumb pressed to his cheekbone as he leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Simon’s.
It wasn’t fireworks like all those romantic films had said it was like, to be honest it wasn’t much of anything. Raphael hadn’t much experience in kissing people; only having kissed one girl and two guys for his experimenting, but this kiss was still much better than those. It was soft and sweet and it was Simon, which made it better until he felt how tense and hesitant Simon was. Raphael pulled back immediately with wide eyes, his hand still cradling Simon’s cheek as they stared at each other.
“Raphael.” He says slowly and Dios, Raphael can hear pity in his voice. Before Simon even had a chance to say anything else, Raphael was scrambling to his feet and racing back to his house, not once stopping to breath or look back as he recited prayers for forgiveness in his head. When he got to his abuelas back garden he was completely out of breath and his lungs felt like they were on fire but he still managed to drag himself back into his bedroom, lock the window and shut the curtains before collapsing on his bed. He didn’t get any sleep that night, he just kept his cross in his hand and tried not to remember how soft Simon’s hair was or how warm his lips were.
The next morning after everyone was packed and ready to leave, his abuela pulled him to the side. “Are you alright, Raphael?” She asked taking in his exhausted appearance and urgency to leave. “I’m fine, abuela.” He answers, smiling a little, before his eyes shifted to where his mother had finally decided to take the bags out to the taxi.
Raphael quickly followed his brothers out the door to the taxi, he briefly glanced over to the Lewis house as the door swung open and Simon started to walk down the pathway. Raphael ducked his head and quickly opened the taxi door before his mother called from the back of the taxi. “Raphi, there’s Simon aren’t you going to say goodbye?” She asks as Simon stops sheepishly at the end of his front lawn. “Em, no. I’ll just-We said goodbye yesterday it’s fine.” He responds quickly, feeling his gut twist when he saw the sad hurt expression on Simon’s face before he got into the cab. His brothers didn’t say anything when they got in the taxi but did look a little confused as did his mother when she got in the front seat but she kept quiet as well as they headed to the airport. Raphael decided then that he wouldn’t be coming back next year.
The year Raphael turned 19, he was accepted to go to Columbia University for an Education course that would move him onto Urban Teaching to be able to teach history and to say he was excited was an understatement. He had worked hard to achieve the grades he did and now that he had gotten into the University of his choice in his favourite city.
He hadn’t been back to New York since he was 16 and he kissed Simon. After he had gotten home he had told his mother that he didn’t want to go back and after a great deal of coaxing he told her everything that happened and nearly drove himself into a panic attack when talking, just waiting for her to snap about him being gay, but all she did was hug him and tell him that boys were idiots anyway and if Simon didn’t see how much Raphael loved him then he didn’t deserve him. All that did was make him sob more but he was grateful now for the acceptance and the fact that his mother never forced him to go to New York after that.
But now he was ready. He would be living on campus in the halls but that didn’t bother him too much, his abuela offered for him to stay with her but Raphael wasn’t quite comfortable yet. He had completely cut off all connections to Simon after the incident and he didn’t plan on staying right across the street especially if Simon still lived there.
He got the flight over by himself this time. No brothers or his mother, just him and his suitcases, a couple of days before the semester would begin. He managed to get his luggage and himself to the campus, found his room and unpack. He was one of the first people to arrive on his floor but he doesn’t mind, it gives him a chance to take everything in about where he was going to be living for the next couple of years.
He doesn’t get to do too much during the first few weeks he’s at university because he’s having to get himself into a schedule and get used to where all his classes were. After a month though, he has time to explore a bit, he gets coffee at a place called Java Jace whenever he has time, he reads through his course books in most of his spare time and ends up making friends with an eccentric fashion and design student called Magnus Bane and his brooding boyfriend Alec Lightwood who happens to be his partner for some course work they have to do.
He doesn’t hang out with him outside when Alec and him have to work in the library together and Magnus shows up to sit in Alec’s lap and get glitter all over their books. They had invited him out to hang out with their group of friends before but he had never taken them up on the offer, not really wanting to sit awkwardly with a group of friends who had known each other for a while.
However, one day they convinced him to come, he was sick of studying and he wouldn’t mind getting something to eat and if it got really bad he could always just fake a phone call and go. “Good. You can’t stay in your room forever. People are beginning to think you’re a vampire Raph, it’s not good.” Magnus tells him, before he leaves his room to let him get ready. Apparently in their group there is 6 people, which consisted of Sherwin/Samuel/Sheldon or whatever Magnus decided to name him that day, his best friend, Alec’s sister and adopted brother, Magnus and Alec.
“Seamus like to talk a lot so I advise not asking unnecessary questions otherwise he goes on forever.” Magnus tells him as they walk down the street to meet the rest of the group outside a small café. “Mags also likes to pretend he doesn’t remember his name even though you know it full well.” Alec sighs, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend. “Yes well, anyway Isabelle speaks Spanish fluently as well so you can at least talk to her if we all get too boring for you.” Magnus adds, making Raphael chuckle while he rolled his eyes. After that everything happened quite quickly: first he heard a gasp, then a small “Oh my God” and then Raphael was being slapped across the face full power by the tiny redhead had had hated when he was 11.
“Raphael Santiago, you bastard.” She cries, everyone else looks at her like she’s gone crazy while Raphael can’t seem to pull his eyes away from behind her at Simon. Simon Lewis who he fell in love with when he was 14 and kissed in a park at 10 to midnight during a partial lunar eclipse when he was 16. Simon Lewis who he ignored for 3 years because he got rejected by him in a park at 9 minutes to midnight during a partial lunar eclipse. The Simon Lewis who was now wearing a Captain America t-shirt with a plaid shirt over the top and a pair of skinny jeans, looking nerdy hot.
Raphael took a shaky breath before taking half a step back away from Clary. “I’m-I’m just going to go.” Raphael says, preparing himself to run back to his room just like he had 3 years ago.
“Wait!” Simon shout, clearly remembering he had a voice even if he did startle everyone since they were all standing close. “I mean, I wanted to talk to you.” He says in a normal tone, before looking pleading at the blond boy who Raphael remembers from Java Jace. “Okay, Clar. Let’s go inside and give Simon some peace okay?” The boy suggests, tugging the fiery girl with him and the rest follow, leaving them to stand on the pavement awkwardly.
“You didn’t reply to any of my emails.” Simon starts after a few minutes of silence between them. “And you didn’t come back to your abuelas. I asked her every year but she said you just didn’t feel like it. Why didn’t you come back after you kissed me?” Simon asks him honestly.
“You know fine well why I don’t come back idiota. I kissed you while you were in love with Fray, and you rejected me. Also, back then I still thought my mother would disown me for my preferences. It’s a sin in the catholic church you know.” He tells him, his voice not particularly strong as he tries to keep himself together. Seeing Simon again was overwhelming and all his old feelings that he had buried were coming back at full force.
“I didn’t reject you. You rejected me, when I tried to come over to say goodbye and talk about the night before. I thought you just panicked that night and everything would be fine in the morning but it wasn’t and you left.” Simon says taking a deep breath like he might just start crying and Raphael really could not handle that and he would definitely start crying too.
“But-“ Raphael starts and then stops, before trying to start again. “You-“ Raphael pauses again trying to think of hat he was trying to say but Simon got in there first. “I think we’re both idiotas” Simon laughs, before pulling Raphael by the cheeks (he notes that he’s very careful with the side Clary slapped) for a kiss. Again this one didn’t last long but it felt like everything felt stable for the first time in a while, like his world wasn’t at an axis. Simon kept his grounded and Raphael hoped he would continue to keep him grounded for a while, this time.
“Let’s go inside. I want to introduce you to everyone and then you need to tell me everything you’ve been doing and you aren’t allowed to skip anything. We have a while, I hope, to talk this time.” Simon grins, his familiar happy excited grin before dragging him by the hand this time not the wrist into the café.