Chapter Text
Ray is sitting inside a car parked in front of the Tequi-La La with tears streaming down her face. She hates that she is a sobbing mess right now, especially over him. Crying makes her feel weak and pathetic, taking her back to her days in the orphanage where nobody cared about her.
Just like now.
She shakes her head. That isn’t true. She tries to reassure her overthinking mind, but Randy’s words still ring loudly in her ears. She knows she is drunk right now, but his anger makes no sense to her. She doesn’t understand where all this animosity towards her is coming from. He’s just another person added to the list of people in her life who have spoken harshly towards her.
“I told you never to use the things I taught you, against me!” She doesn’t know what the hell he was talking about. She has never used him, period. If anything she feels indebted to him.“FUCK YOU RAY MOND!” Then the line goes dead, and now she is here crying over that stupid fuck. Why doesn’t he believe her? Since the moment she came to this city, she has been nothing but loyal to Randy. How could one conversation with some random chick she doesn’t even know make him change his whole perception of her?
What is her name again? Lexi? Whoever this Lexi girl is, apparently has a closer bond to him than Ray ever would…
She tries to call the people she assumes would be there for her only to have the door slammed in her face each time. Taco chooses Randy’s side, Ramee is completely obtuse, and April is too high off cocaine to give any real advice. Ray lets out a frustrated sigh, as she leans forward to rest her head on the steering wheel, except she accidentally bangs her head against the car's horn. Someone’s scream catches her attention.
“Yuck Lady my bad! Geez!” His tone isn’t harsh though, she can tell he is just trying to give her a hard time, making a joke out of it. He is also drunk, and she notices him having to catch himself from tripping over his own feet. She attempts to say sorry, but he waves it off, clarifying more to her he is just teasing. Her eyes look up into her rearview mirror, following his path as he heads inside the bar. She recognizes him immediately, from the motel a few months back.
Chatterbox. The clown that held her up at gunpoint, (while reassuring her every second that he wasn’t going to hurt her.) The clown that robbed her weapons off her,(but promised he would give them all back.) The clown that gave her flowers when everyone started teasing her about dating him. She knew he did it as a joke, but she hated that it brought warmth to her cheeks almost making her blush. She was stunned for a second, perhaps that is why she acted so disgusted by his gesture. She remembered how comfortable she felt around them all, after everything had settled and CG had left, she lingered. She believed Chatterbox when he said no one was going to hurt her. When they got Joe in the car, a part of her wanted to ask if she could come with them and watch, but she stopped herself.
Now she’s drunk and pissed off. The only thing she wants to do is forget about this stupid night, and if she can't forget it, maybe she can distract herself from it. She gets out of the car, stumbling her way back into Tequi-La La. She tells herself it's to just get more alcohol to drown her sorrows, but subconsciously her eyes scan the club looking for him. Slowly, she makes her way to the bar and slips into a vacant seat. Alcohol is her first choice as a vice to help her forget about this shitty night, but if that doesn’t work she is sure April’s cocaine will do the trick.
“Can I get a shot of tequila please?” She asks the bartender in a flirty tone while fluttering her eyelashes, and forcing one of her phony smiles to shape her lips.
Chatterbox is running a little late to the Big Toe event, but to be fair he didn’t want to go to begin with. He is perfectly content with drinking alone tonight at the Funhouse, and drowning his guilt away from killing his wife a few months ago. However, Kirk and Tessa begged him to make an appearance tonight stating “No one's gonna stop you from drinking, but at least you will have drinking buddies.”
He doesn’t mind the thought. Drinking with someone is always more enjoyable in the end. He starts walking across the street when he notices a woman in a car outside the front door. Her silver eyes shine bright as the full moon reflects off her tears, why is she crying? He shakes his head. Why would he give a yuck about her? He knows exactly who she is.
Ray Mond.
He knows she has a whole gang ready to go to battle for her, yet the woman he sees in the car seems so devastated. He skims their surroundings, his eyes squint in confusion under his mask. Why is she alone? Where are her friends? Her gang? His night is going horribly, but at least he is about to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about him. Who does she have? Tonight he finds himself empathizing with the enemy. Perhaps that's why when he sees her forehead hit the steering wheel he decides to tease her, hoping a little lightheartedness would lighten her mood some. He doesn’t stick around to find out.
He is already freaking himself out with all these intrusive thoughts. He makes his way swiftly into the bar, tripping over his feet a few times. For some reason his mask starts to feel a little restricting, making it hard for him to breathe. He rushes into the first open stall inside the men’s restroom, slamming it shut and locking it behind him. He rips his mask off and immediately starts hyperventilating. He hears someone else entering the bathroom, and embarrassment washes over him. Great, they are going to hear me in here panicking. Luckily for him, it’s Kirk’s voice laced with concern, echoing from the other side.
“You okay in there buddy?”
“Uh.. Y-yeah.” Chatterbox manages to choke out. He’s so glad it is his best friend and not some random yuck like he thought it was going to be.
“Giggles getting to you again?”
Chatterbox hesitates to answer him. Kirk has every right to assume his anxiety attack is because he is thinking about Giggles, but to be frank, the only thing on his mind right now is Ray Mond… He can’t get her out of his head. How her silver eyes glimmer, but have a shield of gloom hovering over them, how her lips quiver while fighting back the demons in her head, and how her nose twitches like a bunny when she seems deep in thought. He doesn’t understand how he noticed so many little things about her in such a short amount of time, and those mental images terrified him. He can’t tell Kirk the truth, especially when he doesn’t understand what is going on with him.
“Yeah, I…I just needed a minute, you know?” At least he can give Kirk half of the truth. He slips his mask back on and opens the stall door, his eyes meeting his best friend’s. “I’m good now though let's go get a drink!”
“That’s what I’m talking about baby!”
Chatterbox lets out a small chuckle as his best friend wiggles one of his fingers in the air. While leaving the bathroom Kirk mentions having to go check in on Sheila beforehand and suggests for Chatty to head to the bar without him first. He wishes he would have waited for Kirk, because right before he got to the bar, there she was again. This time Chatterbox takes his time to study every feature about her, even though every fiber in his body is screaming at him to run. He notices how her mahogany waves are intertwined in a pattern with smaller layers falling out of it and framing her face. Her eyes look even duller than before, reminding him of rumbling storm clouds rolling in. He observes the way she is faking a smile towards the bartender to mask the pain she is feeling. She is putting on a show for everyone around, determined to not let anyone past the walls she had built up. He knew that feeling all too well… He takes note of her outfit. He can tell the neon shirt isn't her typical style, but he admires her bold choice. Not everyone can pull off colorful clothes like clowns can, but the teal hues flattered Ray’s tanned skin perfectly.
He slowly moves his feet one step at a time. He needs a drink, and maybe he can drown out the strange new feelings he is experiencing. He searches for a free space at the bar, but it seems like everyone wants a drink at the same time. However, almost like an invisible string pulling them together, the lady sitting next to Ray gets up, leaving him a free spot to slip in. Without hesitation, almost like he has no control over his feet, he sits himself down next to her. At first, he refuses to turn his head, because he can feel her eyes burning into his skull. He ignores her gaze for a second longer as he tries to get the bartender's attention.
“Can I get a double shot of tequila… please.” He clears his throat. He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it. Perhaps it is the liquid courage he already consumed, but when his amber eyes meet her opal stones he can’t stop the words from tumbling out.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Ray is completely stunned, for the second time by the troublesome trickster. She expected someone to eventually come over to her, hit on her, and make their move. However, his question came out innocently, like he was trying to be considerate towards her, but why? He waits patiently for her to answer, being careful to not seem pressuring. She can see the quick panic flash in his caramel eyes, recognizing that same feeling she is haunted by every day. Was that too much? Suddenly she hiccups, the nerves finally slipping out through one of her nervous ticks. She doesn’t expect him to smile, but he does, letting a deep chuckle escape his lips. She pays attention to how his eyes crinkle at her behind the mask when he is laughing, his presence just seemed so comforting. A clown being comforting… Shocking right? It’s his peaceful demeanor that entices her to take him up on his offer.
“I’ll have what you are getting!” She raises her voice a little as the music decides to pick up at that moment. He nods his head at her in approval, like he is proud of her drink of choice.
“Alright so you aren’t a total yucking loser, that’s good to hear!” There’s that teasing tone he used on her again, but this time she is quick with her remark.
“The only loser here is going to be you when I out drink your silly ass.” She isn’t sure if she has gone overboard with calling him silly. She knows she has a bad habit of taking her bantering too far. At least others make her feel that way, but he just starts laughing with her, as his eyes don’t display an inch of hostility against her. This is nice. This feels safe. This is new.
“I don’t know about that, Ray Mond.” His eyes dare her to challenge him.
“And why is that?” She crosses her arms and legs trying to prove to him she meant business.
“Because Ray Mond…” He lets his voice trail off like he wants to hold her in suspense for as long as possible. She is expecting some kind of pickup line but is shocked when he finally finishes. “I’m a yucking god!”
She can’t help but laugh at his comment. It wasn’t where she thought he was going with that in the slightest. She clasps her hand over her mouth trying to let it stifle her laughter. She doesn’t want him to get the idea that she is mocking him, or something. Randy got defensive easily when Ray would laugh around him, always accusing her of making fun of him. Chatterbox is different though. His eyes never shift to a look of disdain but are beaming with admiration. Maybe that is why she takes it a step further because she is craving that look from him again.
“Alright, you yucking god!” She surprises herself by her energy broadcasting so loudly but she can’t stop her excitement. “I bet I can go shot for shot with you, all night long.” She watches his eyes widen in thrill. He loves competition just as much as she does.
“You are so yucking on, Ray Mond!”
She sees him turn to the bartender asking him to make it two double shots and to keep them coming. She uses this time to admire the man sitting next to her. Even though he shows little skin, his suit fits his body so perfectly that it leaves little to the imagination of what lies underneath. He wore a maroon vest with a white button and a red bow tie. His biceps are shown off by sleeve garters, empathizing with his rugged muscles even more. She can see them flexing through his shirt, as he starts squeezing his hand to calm his nerves. Her eyes drift down further seeing his pinned-striped pants hugging his thick thighs. She definitely approves of his style. It is unique and fits his personality from what she can tell, making him even more mysteriously hot.
She is brought back to reality when he hands her the shot, and his white-gloved hand brushes her fingers gently. She can feel the heat radiating between them both, but neither one of them pulls away, both silently agreeing they enjoyed how the warmth felt. She is caught off guard when he leans in, feeling her body tense up out of anticipation of what he plans to do. His breath tickles her ear through his mask, and it takes everything in her to fight back her body from crumbling under his intense voice.
“You ready?” His eyes find hers again, as he holds up his shot glass to toast with her. Clink. They down their shots with ease, but the look he is giving her sends chills down her spine and butterflies to her stomach. Is he doing this on purpose? Suddenly her overthinking gets the better of her. What if he is just playing her? What if this is some kind of joke he and the clowns were in on to embarrass her or to get information out of her? Well, it ain’t going to work buddy. He must have picked up on her attitude change because his eyes furrowed under his mask. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Is this a sick twisted joke to you or something?” She makes her words come out as cruel as she can. She isn’t about to let her guard down, especially with the enemy. She notices his eyes blinking in confusion at the sudden change of pace. He leans back giving her a little room to breathe, but his eyes don’t waiver from hers.
“What are you talking about Ray? I haven’t told you a joke yet.”
“No, I mean are you playing some kind of game with me?”
“Did you wanna go play a game or something? I think they have a pool table downstairs.”
At first, she thinks he is being sarcastic. However, she can hear the sincerity in his voice, while his eyes don’t betray any hint of deceit, just puzzlement. Something else lingers deep within his chestnut eyes, a want, no, a desire to understand her more. She feels ashamed from getting so worked up in her head, and a pang of guilt for taking her insecurities out of a kind stranger. Is he a stranger?
“I’m sorry, this is just one of my worst nights in the city and I didn’t mean to freak out. I guess, I’m just confused and frustrated and I took it out on you. I took out my insecurities on you and you didn’t deserve that all. Oh my god, what is wrong with me!? I’ll tell you what is wrong with me. Randy Fucking Bullet. He is a fucking idiot and now I’m second guessing every little thing because I fucked up somehow and I don’t even know what I did wrong….”
Chatterbox lets Ray ramble on and on, as he sits there with one of his elbows on the bar resting his head against his hand. He catches how her feet are kicking back and forth in the air because the stool is too tall for her to touch the ground. He absorbs all the words she is saying easily. Usually, he can’t sit still for long periods, but he can listen to her talk forever. She is just so interesting… When she asks that bizarre question about telling a joke and playing a game he notices a shift in her demeanor. He backs away slowly realizing he is accidentally invading her personal space because the music got louder and he didn’t want to yell. Her voice seems cold and empty now, making him feel like he missed something. He is thankful she started yapping away again. It appears she has a lot of pent-up emotions she needs to get out. The more he sits there and talks with her the more details he starts noticing about her. For example, when she hiccuped earlier, he saw a tiny speckle of light flash in her eyes. It was so yucking adorable.
What the yuck was that thought?
The sparkle grew brighter when she started matching his wits, and something inside of him wished he could see it stay around longer, and disappeared for a moment when she started questioning his behavior. After listening to her explain why, he understood, and was now bound and determined to see return again. He is pleasantly surprised with how much she is trusting with him tonight. She is just yapping the details of her whole night, but he doesn't mind, because the light is back. Usually bright blinding things freak him out, but he finds her being more warm and inviting. He knows the alcohol probably had something to do with her oversharing, so taking note of her vulnerability, he made a promise to himself. Whatever she tells him tonight would stay between the two. He can’t believe none of her friends were here to support her through all this, especially her so-called family. He knows Randy was a sack of yuck, he always had been, but he hated that he hurt Ray. She is slowly floating down from talking in circles, as he sees the sadness try to creep its way back into her eyes. He wants to comfort her and reassure her that she did nothing wrong. He wants to put his arm around her pulling her in for a hug, but he doesn’t know how to initiate something like that. Instead, he puts his hand on her shoulder, and she turns her head away to avoid his gaze. Instinctively he takes his other hand and places his thumb under her chin, tilting her head up to look him in the eyes, and shocking himself with his actions.
“I promise you, Ray Mond, you did nothing wrong. If that yuckbag believes someone else over you, when you two are supposed to be friends then that is on him. It seems to me he jumped to conclusions without even hearing your side of the story. That isn’t fair to you. And for the other members of your gang, no offense, but a lot of them don’t have the mental capacity for serious conversations. Saying that, I’m sure some of them tried to mean well” He doesn’t know where these words came from, he just found it easy to tell her things.
“ I must have fucked up though if he is mad at me, the last time we fought he…” her voice trails off.
Chatterbox is unsure how far he should push, he doesn’t want to overwhelm her and he can tell by the flicker in her eyes, that she is this close to running out of the building. He can’t let that happen, not when being near her has given him a rush of energy he hadn’t had in a while. He decides to not pry, maybe that talk will be for another day if he is lucky. He wants to distract her from it all somehow. He can offer her more alcohol but they were both pretty far gone already. He is still holding her chin, and neither one of them feels the need to break the contact. Another impulsive action takes over his hand as it brushes a piece of hair from her fox-like eyes. What is going on with me today? He thought to himself. His eyes drift to the background noises. Big Toe is no longer performing, but the club is still playing music, and people are still out on the dance floor. Looking back at her beaming eyes he decides to try a different form of distraction.
“You wanna dance?” he asks her tenderly.
Ray says yes a lot faster than she wanted herself to, kicking herself in the butt for seeming so eager for more of him. She knows how the guys are that ask her to dance. They use it as an excuse to finally be able to touch her in ways only good music and alcohol will allow, and she is craving his touch. They make their way out on the dance floor while a steady upbeat song plays. She expects him to grab her from behind at any moment, pulling her body up against his, as his fingers grasp her hips tightly. She would then grind her ass into his cock to tease him out of revenge for all the times he has teased her tonight, but none of that happens. Once they reach the middle of the floor he starts dancing to the music, as his body gives her a respectful amount of space. His moves were impressive, but what astonished her was how he was able to keep his hands to himself. Does he not find me attractive or something? No, that can’t be possible, everyone finds me hot. What is it then? She starts trying to match his rhythm, making his amber eyes light up. She can tell he is smiling at her from under the mask. I bet he has a handsome face, she thought to herself. All of a sudden he takes her out of her head when he grabs one of her hands and begins twirling her around in circles.
It is Chatterbox’s turn to get lost in her laughter, as he spun her around. After every turn, her silver eyes shined brighter and brighter. Suddenly it was like the spotlights in the entire building were beaming down on just her, causing a golden halo to outline her silhouette. Instead of trying to shield his eyes and screaming at the top of his lungs, like he usually does at blinding lights, he finds himself being drawn to it. The glow she radiates is so warm and pleasant that he doesn’t feel afraid of her light, but he wants to fuel it until it burns forever. He sees his friends from the corner of his eyes, observing the shocking scene being played out in front of them. They are witnessing him doing something he's never done before or ever saw himself doing.
However, with her, it feels right… He is thankful his loved ones didn’t interrupt them. He doesn’t want anything to cast a shadow on her bright aura for a second. Suddenly the music slows down, and the lights of the club dim. She is still glowing through her glimmering eyes, as she becomes his main source of light in the dark club. He can tell she is anticipating him to ask her a question, but he doesn’t know what to even ask. He sees the people around them start invading each other's space in a way he has never done before. He feels his anxiety getting the best of him, he has never touched someone the way he saw the people surrounding them were touching. Is that something he wanted to do… with her? And why does he want to? He's never done anything like this with anyone, even Giggles. How does he even ask her to do whatever it’s called? He sees her eyebrows scrunching at him, waiting for him to do what exactly? He decides to swallow his pride and just be honest with her.
“I’ve never done anything like this before…”
(Lyrics of the song start filling the air around them. “ There I was again tonight, Forcing laughter, faking smiles, Same old tired, lonely place, Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, Vanished when I saw your face, All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you.”)
Ray thinks he is joking, there is no way a guy who had her yearning for him all night long has never slow danced before, but when she looks into his eyes she sees how nervous he is. He never broke eye contact with her once all night, but now she can see his eyes darting to the people surrounding them. It looks like he was trying to figure out from context clues what to do next, but was completely lost. Was she wrong this whole night? She brushed his first naive comments aside, but now she wasn’t so sure. His once sultry eyes now flash with fear like he is battling his inner thoughts. She knows what that feeling is like… She decides to repay him the favor he so kindly gave her earlier. Her hand goes to cup his face through his mask, forcing his eyes to focus on her again. She feels the heat from his skin soaking through his mask as he sinks into her touch. His eyes calm down.
( “Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?", 'Cross the room your silhouette, Starts to make its way to me, The playful conversation starts, Counter all your quick remarks, Like passing notes in secrecy.”)
“May I?” She barely grazes his fingers, as she asks him for permission. He swallows nervously but nods his head, consenting to her touch. She takes his gloved hands into hers, guiding them to where they should rest. She feels his palms shaking tensely in hers, but as she places them around her waist and lower back they start to settle. He is holding her so gingerly like he was afraid he would break her accidentally.
“It’s okay Chatty.” She stares right into his eyes, trying to be his anchor for the madness inside his head. “I’m not fragile. You aren’t going to hurt me.” She can feel his hands relax against her skin, letting her words soothe his worries away.
(“And it was enchanting to meet you, All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you, This night is sparkling, don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home, I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you.”)
Chatterbox hates physical touch, but when he heard Ray use his nickname like that he couldn’t help but give in to his desire to hold her close. She moves her arms up, carefully wrapping them around his neck, her hands resting under the base of his mask.
“Is this okay?” He hears her soft voice asking for his permission, swallowing the lump in his throat, hating how his voice betrays him.
“Uh, y..yeah, I mean I.. I think so. Is this okay with you?” Her eyes give him an answer before her words.
“I’m completely okay with this.”
He can’t help but get lost in her beautiful smile looking up at him. They start swaying back and forth, enjoying the comfortable silence, letting the song say everything that needs to be said. She starts playing with the hair that the mask doesn’t fully cover, causing shivers to shoot down his spine as she twirls pieces of his dark locks around her finger. Goosebumps cover his arms, which is something he usually only gets when something bad is about to happen, but with her, he feels the safest he has ever felt. How is that possible? He doesn’t want this night to ever end. He has never felt so alive before. She just has this energy about her that he doesn’t ever want to give up.
Selfishly he wants to kidnap her the way he did Giggles. Making it to where he didn’t have to go a day without her light again. Maybe she can help him get over his fear of flashlights. Then he remembers what happened to Giggles, and the thought of being the reason Ray’s light never shines again causes his stomach to twist in knots. Ultimately he decides against his intrusive thoughts, knowing he isn’t worthy of someone like her. If tonight is all he gets to experience her kindred spirit, then he is going to cherish every moment he can with her.
(“The lingering question kept me up, 2 AM, who do you love? I wonder 'til I'm wide awake, And now I'm pacing back and forth. Wishing you were at my door, I'd open up and you would say, "Hey", It was enchanting to meet you. All I know is, I was enchanted to meet you.”)
Ray breaks the silence first. Even though it doesn’t make her uncomfortable, there is so much she wants to know about the clown, and so much she wants to ask him.
“So Chatterbox…” She is cut off before she can finish her sentence.
“Ouch, what happened to Chatty?” He seems offended, no, disappointed that she used his full name. She decides to make it up to him, by readjusting her arms around his neck to bring her body closer to his. Her breasts are pressing up against his sturdy chest, and she can feel his heart racing rapidly through their clothes.
“Coming from the guy who uses both my first and last name.” She squints her eyes at him, causing one of his hands to leave her waist and pinch the ear of his mask. His nervous tick. She finds it very charming. She also doesn’t mind it when he uses her full name. She just likes teasing him a little.
“Yeah, umm you know you got me there.”
“Mmhmm, but I don’t mind.” Her eyelashes flutter at him, reassuring him that she is just giving him a hard time. Her fingers trace gentle patterns on the back of his neck. “So what I was going to say before you so rudely interrupted me Chatty…” She notices his eyes illuminating at her words. She loves that he enjoyed her sassy side. A lot of people can’t handle it, but he seems to thrive in it. “I want to know more about you.”
(“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home, I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, That this night is flawless, don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone, I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you.”)
Chatterbox isn’t sure where to even start when he hears her question. Parts of him can’t fathom that she wanted to spend time with him, let alone use that time to get to know him more. He is concerned about telling her too much too soon but also wants to tell her everything just to make her happy.
“What do you want to know?” He asks, letting fate decide where the conversation took them from here. He watches her pounder for a second, trying to decipher which question she wants to ask him first. Knowing her, she probably has a list of them.
“Have you been a clown your whole life?”
He isn’t prepared for her first question to catch him off guard, but the expression she has while asking makes the butterflies in his gut go wild. She seems genuinely interested in getting to know him.
“Uh no. It’s kind of a long story…” he tries to end it there, not wanting to scare her away, but her eyes were peering into his soul, pining for more. Giving in to her sultry eyes he gives her the shortened version. “My biological parents abandoned me when I was young, I think I was 5. My mom left first and my dad got rid of me after he beat me a few times. I was taken in by a man in Grapeseed named Bobo, he was a clown. I didn’t know my real name back then because my dad always called me Boy, but Bobo gave me the name Chatterbox because I wouldn’t ever shut up.”
“Wait, you don’t know your real name?” She looks upset, not at him but for him, like he deserves to know his real name. Little did she know he hates his real name, and what that side of him has done.
“I do now, but I don’t like going by it, bad memories and everything.” He hopes she is satisfied enough with his answer because if she wasn’t he would give in to her.
“I see… if I promise to never call you that, can I know what it is?”
Uh oh, now he is in trouble. He wants to say no, but her eyes are doing that thing again where they blink really fast while also begging him to say yes. Why does he give in so easily to her?
“Fine… But you promise you will never call me that, or tell anyone?”
“Pinky promise!” The light around her turns up another notch, as she gets excited with anticipation. She removes one of her hands from his neck and holds up her pinky to him.
“What the yuck is a pinky promise?”
“Something sacred, and if someone breaks it then they die.” He isn’t sure if he follows her logic, but it reassured him that she wouldn’t tell anyone.
“What do I do with it?”
She giggles at his comment, but her eyes are still full of affection.
“Well, you take one of your pinkies and intertwine it with my pinky like this.” She proceeds to show him how to lace their pinkies together by using her other hand. He removes one of his hands from her waist again, lifting his pinky to grab hers. They stay in the moment for what seems like an eternity, neither one wanting to let go of the other, but Chatterbox breaks the silence this time.
“My real name is…” He clears his throat, trying to choke down the anxiety of his past. “Jagger Gerardy.”
He waits for her reaction, but it doesn’t come. She just moves on, keeping her word to not use it by asking another random question.
“Why do you not cuss? I noticed you say yuck for every curse word out there?”
“Cause cursing is bad for your soul.” He gives off a small laugh, masking his trauma, but she sees right through his facade.
“And who made you feel that way?”
“Bobo… He would give me the potty mouth treatment anytime I cussed, or lock me in a cage…” He doesn’t know why his words are escaping his lips so easily, but he can’t stop himself from opening up to her more. “Jagger(rp) cursed a lot, and was punished a lot..” He feels her arms pull him in closer, wrapping back around his neck, hugging him. He has never hugged someone like this before, it terrifies him, but his body sinks into her embrace. His hands are back around her waist, squeezing her but not too tightly. He buries his head into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. A floral explosion with hints of honey.
“I’m so sorry Chatty…” She pulls back and he instantly misses how close she was, but thankful she didn’t pull completely away. He isn’t ready to let her go just yet.
“It’s okay, I got through it.”
She smiles at him proudly.
“Do you care if I ask you another question?” She appears timid, and that was very unlike her. Whatever question she is about to ask is probably super personal. Yet, he agrees to hear it.
“Why do you wear your mask all the time, and do you ever go without it?”
“I don’t like my face… It reminds me of bad times. Bobo would also use the cage as a form of punishment anytime I would take the mask off. When I used to go by Jagger(rp)… I would go without my mask and I just did a lot of things I’m not necessarily proud of… I do take it off when I’m alone at the Funhouse to sleep and when I shower.”
(“This is me praying that, This was the very first page, Not where the story line ends, My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again, These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon I was enchanted to meet you, Please don't be in love with someone else, Please don't have somebody waiting on you, Please don't be in love with someone else, Please don't have somebody waiting on you”)
This time it’s Ray’s turn to not push too hard, she can tell he is struggling to talk about it, especially because it has to deal with the name he hates so much. She knows if she had pressured him more he probably would have given in to her. He had been all night, but she remembers him respecting her earlier when she didn’t want to keep going. She’s willing to repay him the same favor. She thought about the beginning of the night, how she thought he was some smooth-talking clown, only to realize he was just being himself. She recalls how she thought he was trying to seduce her at first. Quickly she realized he was just naturally good at swooning women, and he was completely unaware of it. She giggles in her head at that thought, but her loose lips do too.
“What’s so funny, Ray?”
Hearing just her first name leave his lips, made her smile grow wider.
“Nothing, nothing, just thought of something funny.”
“My childhood trauma is funny to you?” He tries to look offended, but She slapped his chest playfully before he could go further.
“No silly, I was thinking about how earlier I thought you were trying to seduce me, but you just wanted to get to know me.”
His face scrunches in puzzlement.
“What does seduce mean?”
Oh. Right. He is innocent, at least when it comes to sex.
“You know, I thought you were trying to hit on me.”
“Ray, why would I hit you?”
“No, not physically hitting me, How do I explain this to you, okay um, you know that feeling you get in your stomach when we get really really close like this.” She tugs him in closer again by the collar of his shirt, causing her lips to graze against the fabric of his mask where his mouth would be. She catches his nervous gulp, as his hands use her waist to keep himself grounded.
“Y..yeah..mmhmm.”
“Well.. at first I thought you were just trying to have that kind of feeling but more intense.” His eyes don’t leave hers, except for the few times she catches him staring at her lips.
“I see… No, I wasn’t trying to do something like this, I.. I don’t think I have ever been this close to someone before.” He openly confesses to her.
“You’ve never had a girlfriend before?”
“I had a wife… but uh we never did anything like this…”
Ray tenses when she hears his words. He was married? Or used to be married? What happened with his wife, and how did they never even kiss? He must feel her overthinking, or he realizes he has shared more than he intended to.
“You were married?” She blurts out.
(“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home, I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, This night is flawless, don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone, I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you, please don’t be in love with someone else, Please, don’t have somebody waiting on you.”)
Great, I opened my big mouth, Chatterbox thought to himself. He has escaped having to go into detail about everything Bobo made him do as a kid, and what Jagger would do to other people, but how is he going to get out of explaining what happened to Giggles? Well here goes nothing.
“Yeah I was married…but umm she died a few months ago…” His voice cracks a little when he is reminded of what he did. He prays she doesn’t ask him how, and hopes she would drop it there, surely right?
“Oh Chatty.. I’m so sorry…” She yanks him in for another hug. This time he doesn’t hesitate to close the gap, if this was the last time he felt her embrace he was going to treasure every bit of it. They linger in each other's arms, and as he thinks she might not pry anymore, they could just stay like this forever, her question vibrates in his ear, “what happened to her?”
He’s glad she hasn't pulled away from the hug. If she did she would have seen his eyes racing in panic, worried about how he was going to explain what happened to his ex-wife… He knows it’s been longer than normal for him to reply. He hopes Ray doesn’t feel suspicious of his lack of a response. He thinks he blew it when she pulls back from the hug. Yuck, he mumbles inside his head, but she amazes him with her words. Her hands rest on his face, her gorgeous eyes looking into his. “ You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. That can be a conversation for another time.”
Another time? She wanted to see him again.
“Thanks, Ray… that really means a lot to me. I pinky promise one day I’ll tell you all about it.” He lifts his pinky to her, and she can’t fight back her smile as she takes it.
“You better that’s sacred!”
“Sacred,” he whispers back as he presses his forehead against hers. Unfortunately, they are finally interrupted, not by one of his friends, but by her friend April who seemed very yucked up.
“Rayyyyyyyyy I wanna go home, Ramee won’t answer his stupid phone. Ooooo are you dancing with Chatterbox!? HAHA, that will definitely get back at Randy.”
Get back at Randy? Is this what everything was about? Did she use him to just piss off the british yuckbag? She seemed so genuine though, surely that's not the case. Right?
“I’m sorry Chatty, I need to get her home, she must have kept doing cocaine… Thank you for a great night, I appreciated it, and had a really fun time..” Her cheeks are turning a bright shade of red he hasn’t seen before, is that a good thing? She seems bashful…
He knows Ray has had a lot to drink tonight, and the thought of her getting into a car accident on her way home scared him to death. He can’t live with himself if something bad were to happen to her. Which is what he tells himself to justify his actions.
“Can I take you to your house? I know you’ve had a lot to drink, and it’s not that I don’t think you can take care of yourself, but I do have pretty good experience driving while intoxicated. Yuck people say I drive better when I'm drunk.” She laughs at his rambling and takes her hand into his. No words are exchanged, but her actions scream YES YOU YUCKING IDIOT ABOUT TIME YOU ASKED. He follows her to her car, seeing her 2-door NSX. They didn’t think this through.
“It’s okay we will just put April in the trunk, she will be sleeping on the car ride there anyways.” He is stunned by her words, but impressed at the same time. “Aprillll get in the trunk sweetheart, we will get you home soon.”
April easily complies to high to really understand what was going on. Ray tosses her car keys and he opens her passenger side door for her.
“Wow, aren't you quite the gentleman.” She jokingly says, but her hand is on his bicep, and he feels it squeeze his muscles. He can not think clearly when she touches him like that. She sits down in the car but he still feels her touch lingering. He gathers his composure and heads to the driver seat, plopping down next to her. When he looks over she is already staring at him.
“What?” he asks her curiously…
“Nothing, you are just very handsome…” She admits sheepishly, her words shocking him. Handsome is never a word he used to describe himself. Anytime he looks in the mirror at his face he always thinks he is the ugliest creature out there. She hasn’t even seen his face. Why does she think he is handsome?
But when he looks into her eyes, he can’t help but believe her. She leans into him, as her hands grab onto his bow tie. He isn’t sure if she can read his mind, but it felt like she could. Especially when she goes on to ease his paranoid thoughts from earlier that he never even told her about. “By the way, what April said about me using you to piss off Randy, isn't true. She is just assuming because that is something she would do, but I’m not like that. I pinky promise.”
She holds her pinky up for him but instead, he takes her hand into both of his and squeezes them tightly.
“I trust you, you don’t need to pinky promise me that.”
Her bubbly smile makes her glowing halo even brighter, as the butterflies return in his gut.
“Where am I taking you? The cubby?” She nods at him, but he finds her gaze dropping from his eyes to his lips, the way he remembered himself doing to her earlier. What is that feeling?
“Yeah, I’ll probably crash with April at Ramee’s place tonight.” She finally leans back in her seat and buckles her safety belt. Her eyes still follow his every move.
When they arrive at the cubby, he is weary of entering the compound. He knows if anyone in the gang saw him, he would be making a trip to the hospital. Ray reassures him she won’t let anything happen to him, and she needs his assistance carrying April to the door because she decided to forget how her legs work. He helps Ray get her up the stairs into her and Ramee’s room. He can’t believe he is in a Chang Gang member's house, and if he wasn’t with Ray, he would have had a heyday in here. He follows her back down the stairs as she goes to walk him out of the house. He doesn’t want to say goodbye, not wanting one of the best nights of his life to come to an end. He can tell she feels the same way. This time he is the one to initiate the hug, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into him, letting his arms devour her body. He feels her arms wrap around him as well, her head tucked into the crook of his neck, as his chin rests on the top of her head.
“I don’t want to leave…” he admits to her. Not sure what that means, or if it would even accomplish anything.
“I don’t want you to leave either.” She hums into his chest.
“Come with me to the Funhouse?” Not sure what for, but at least you would be with me… He can tell she is considering it, and he feels his body get jittery.
“I want to but…” But.. of course there was a but. “April is in really bad shape right now, and I need to be here in case she has a bad reaction to the coke.” Okay, that is a reasonable excuse.
“You’re right, she needs you tonight.” he agrees, but still he doesn’t let go, afraid once he does he won’t ever get to experience this again. Suddenly she asks him something out of the blue.
“Do you trust me Chatty?” She whispers.
“Surprisingly… with my life.” He answers honestly, remembering how she promised he wouldn’t get hurt escorting her inside.
She tilts her head back to look him in the eyes, as her hands unravel from his body, causing her warmth to vanish for a moment. Her hands move up to the base of his mask, and slowly she begins to lift it. His heart starts thrashing against his chest. He has no idea what she is doing, or why he is letting her do it. Does he trust her that much already?
She lifts it just high enough to reveal his lips and the tip of his nose. His body stiffens when she closes her eyes and begins leaning in. His mind becomes a fuzzy mess when he feels her silk scarlet lips pressing against his. She tastes so good. So sweet..
Her hands are on his bare cheeks, as she deepens the kiss. He feels her lips part and he follows her lead. Her tongue grazes his, asking for permission, or giving her blessing. He gives into his primal instinct and begins devouring every inch of her mouth. They both lose track of time, as they become completely consumed by the other. Ray is the one to force them to break apart. He rests his forehead against hers as he catches his breath.
“You should probably get going before one of the boys sees you here.” She whispers to him, but her eyes wish it didn’t have to be this way.
“Yeah.. that would be the smart thing to do..” He hopes she will kiss him again. She still has his mask half way off his face, and if she kisses him again he will take that risk. Unfortunately she puts his mask back completely , but her eyes told him it was because she worried about his safety.
“You don’t have a car, how are you going to get home? We didn’t think that through..”
“Don’t worry I will just steal a car.”
“Okay..” She opens the door leading him out, and he turns to face her one last time. He doesn’t know what comes over him, but if this is the last time he ever sees her again then he has to kiss her one last time. He lifts his mask like she did, and grabs her around her waist pulling her into his lips. He lets go of the mask. He’s willing to risk fabric falling to the ground if it means he could kiss her better. He moves his hand to her cheek pulling her lips further into his. She drives him crazy. Her kiss is a drug worthy of getting high on every day. When they pull away, cause they can no longer breathe, he pulls his mask back down. Turning on his heels he starts dashing off on foot, Yelling back at her, “See ya around Ray Mond, thank you for a great yucking night!”
“No thank you!!!” She screams back at him, waving as he trunks the corner to leave the cubby. Maybe he will see her again someday…
Chatterbox hasn’t talked to Ray Mond since that night. When he woke up hung over the next morning, all his insecurities and self-doubt, made him believe he wasn’t worthy enough to be in her life. She never tried to reach out to him either, solidifying his belief. It wasn’t until he started noticing her less and less in the city, each time her light got dimmer and dimmer again until one day he never saw her again. Determined to find out where she went, he made his way to the cubby to pick a fight with one of the CG boys, surely they knew where she went. When he got there the only member around was none other than Randy Bullet.
“Yo, yuckbag!”
“What do you want, Chatterbox? Get off my property!” The British bloke spat back.
“I just wanna know what the yuck happened to Ray Mond? Weren’t you guys tight!?”
“That’s none of your business you clown freak! Why the fuck do you care!?”
“WHY THE YUCK DO YOU NOT?” Chatterbox was furious at Randy’s stupidity. How could he let Ray Mond go… Would she ever come back? Chatterbox has nothing more to say to the dumbest man in the world, he turns to walk away. Making a promise to himself, that if Ray Mond ever came back into the city, he would give her a reason to stay.
When Ray woke up the next morning with a hangover, the first person that she thought of was Chatty… Immediately she started getting scared by her conflicting feelings. Everything Chatterbox had been was what she had wanted from Randy… It terrified her how Chatterbox made her feel, especially when last night had been the happiest she had ever been in the city, but she knew it could never be… She knew her gang despised the clowns, they would never approve. She didn’t even worry about her safety but his, she knew the boys would go after him, especially Randy if he found out. So instead she never tried to reach out to him, and he never tried to contact her… I guess it wasn’t as special to him as it was to her… Maybe that was what was best though. Ray couldn’t stay in the city any longer, not when the life she wanted more than anything, was unobtainable. She feared no one would make her feel the way Chatterbox had that night, and she couldn’t be around her gang right now, not when they couldn’t understand the pain put her through. Especially when someone who was supposed to be her enemy showed her more grace, kindness, and trust than they ever had.