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Someday I’ll Be Able to Say It Confidently

Summary:

Ten years ago, Namjoon was the leader of a hip-hip idol trio that had just debuted. Ten years ago, a horrible company scandal turned all his dreams to dust and broke up the group. It’s been ten years since Namjoon had to start his life over. And now, after doing his best to pretend the whole thing never happened, for the first time in ten years Namjoon will see the one person whose memory stuck with him the most: Yoongi, the maknae of their trio.

Notes:

Prompt:

 

Everyone shipped RM and the maknae Suga when they were KPOP idols. To Namjoon, Yoongi was just the cutest & he loved being his hyung. But they haven’t spoken for years since the company scandal and disbandment. Now, at the funeral of their former CEO, Namjoon reunites with a more mature, more guarded Yoongi. Can Namjoon rekindle their dynamic and can he finally express the flame of love that lived in his soul?

Prompt inspired by my own moodboard: https://x.com/maknaeygfest/status/1868657338560675969?s=46

DW: Innocent idol skinship, one moment of crackling heat but they never talked about it, grownup Namjoon and grownup Yoongi need to rediscover their dynamic but then it's even better, Namjoon loved/loves Yoongi and Yoongi probably did too all along
DNW: A/B/O, hybrids, fest restrictions


Note: international ages are used in this fic rather than Korean ages.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Pre-Debut

Chapter Text

“Yoongi! Hey, Yoongi, come eat something!” Namjoon called out from the tiny dorm kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge to find something quick to eat. “Come on, we still have a ton of stuff to do today.”

No answer came from around the corner, where the bedroom the three of them shared was located. Namjoon sighed and closed the fridge.

“Hey, Yoongi-” he said impatiently, striding the few steps it took so he could poke his head through the door.

Yoongi was fast asleep on the bottom bunk, looking far younger than his nineteen years. His cheeks were soft and pinkish, he looked very round since he still had his winter coat on, and he had his palms together and tucked between his bended-up knees. Namjoon felt his exasperation completely dissolve away in a wave of protectiveness. He might only be two years older than his fellow rapper but he still felt a deep responsibility towards him - he had such enthusiasm and drive, and Namjoon never wanted to see that precious light of his get dimmed even as they were grinding away their youth for idol stardom.

But still. They were only a few days away from the debut of their group, and there were only so many hours in a day.

Namjoon sat down on the edge of the bed - his bed, actually, despite the fact that Yoongi had chosen to take his impromptu catnap there - and gently shook Yoongi’s shoulder. 

Yoongi groaned and smacked his lips.

“Ah, hyung,” he pleaded, finally opening up his eyes and blinking sleepily up at Namjoon.

“Grab something to eat and then you can join me in answering fan messages, okay?” Namjoon said, knowing he couldn’t go easy on him - and that Yoongi wouldn’t want him to anyway. He was just as fired up to succeed as Namjoon was.

“Fan messages!” Yoongi said with much more enthusiasm, finally forcing himself to sit up. “It’s okay, I can come do that right now. I had a smoothie for lunch, I’m not that hungry.”

Namjoon grimaced. Yoongi had the habit of blending up chicken and juice together to make eating go as quickly as possible.

“Not one of your chicken abominations!” he exclaimed in disgust.

Yoongi just smiled a tired smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s very efficient, okay?” he said lightly. 

This was worlds away from what Namjoon had thought it would be like to bring Yoongi into their group. He and Hyunwoo - their third member - had already been selected, but the company wanted them to be a trio. As soon as Namjoon saw the recording of Yoongi - a spitfire in a polo shirt and carefully-spiked hair - he knew that they had to get him. He was full of energy and a touch of venom, heart bared to the world. It would be a fight, he was sure - he’d have to fight the company to get him, and fight this incredible rapper himself to get him to be part of his group - but it would be worth it.

He had been so very wrong. Yoongi had been cocky, yes, but also starry-eyed and unexpectedly professional. He’d already been selling small-time beats and songs and was, despite his own enormous individual talent, very eager to accept the guidance of the company producers and even Namjoon himself. Namjoon had immediately come to enjoy being Yoongi’s hyung, feeling proud to be able to call him a teammate and looking forward to how he’d grow and learn as they worked together. 

Yoongi stumbled out of the bed and tottered after Namjoon, immediately folding himself up compactly to sit right next to Namjoon at the computer that was crammed into the corner of the room.

“Ah, this first one is for you!” Namjoon told him, nudging his leg with his elbow. 

He watched a smile bloom on Yoongi’s face as he leaned in and read the little message from one of their fans. He couldn’t wait until they got their first chance to perform in front of their fans in real life. 

“Scoot over, let me answer!” Yoongi blurted out, adding a belated, “please, hyung.”

Namjoon leaned back and let Yoongi crowd in, his knobby fingers clacking on the keys as he wrote an effusive note thanking the anonymous poster for their support. His noodly little torso was warm against Namjoon’s side, even through his coat.

It was hard for Namjoon to believe he had so much energy and creativity in him sometimes. He was just so much Yoongi in not a whole lot of space. He really hoped he got the chance to show it all off.

💗💗💗

“Hello! We are BRANCH!” Namjoon hollered into the mic, cool stage persona fully in place. “I’m Rap Monster!”

“And I’m Grenade!” Hyunwoo yelled just as enthusiastically next to him.

“And I’m Suga!” Yoongi yelled, his voice almost cracking. 

Namjoon had to take a deep breath to stop himself from laughing. He had to focus. They just had to record this little introduction clip, and then in another few minutes they’d be taking the stage to dance and rap for the debut showcase. So they went through their little spiel that they’d rehearsed a hundred times, all jangling nerves in their matching black baseball jerseys and giant baggy jeans, informing the future audience that they were going to blow them away.

A few minutes later, the stage techs were checking their mic packs one last time before they were to step out on stage and take their places. Yoongi, a nervous grin plastered on his face, let out a squeal and shook his head, making the tufts of his styled-up hair bounce around.

“You’ve got this, Suga!” Namjoon called out to him encouragingly. “And you’re looking good, Grenade!”

“Yes! Woo! GO BRANCH!” Yoongi yelled back, sticking out his fist though his feet kept tippy-tapping.

There was time for one more fist bump between the three of them - Namjoon’s, Hyunwoo’s, and Yoongi’s knuckles coming together in a little triangle - before it was time to run on stage and show the world their rap skills.