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A loud gasp echoed around the room as the beds single occupant shot up, skin damp from sweat and tears pooling at his lashes.
Hyperventilating, Ethari tried to calm his breathing, dropping his head into his hands as he tried to clear the fog out of his mind. Reassuring himself, he was safe, he was home, alive.
Alive.
He took a deep breath, rubbing his hands across his face, wiping his tears and grounding himself. As he calmed he went to lay his hand on his husband, needing to ground himself, just needing to touch him to remind himself that everything will be ok that he's there. His head shot up again when, instead of touching soft warm skin, his hand only touched smooth silk.
Runaan wasn’t there, it was only him. Ethari froze, staring at the sheets only lit by the light of the moon shining through the window. The curtains draped to the side. He felt the tears he finally fought away threatening to come back. It was all a dream, no, no it felt so real this time It couldn’t be. The pounding of his heart was the only thing he could hear in the quiet night. He rushed out of their bed, getting caught up in the sheets still around his waist.
Feet pounding against the smooth wood floors he rushed out of the room, once a room filled with love and comfort, that only became a prison in the years Runaan was away. He looked into rooms as he passed during his frenzied search. Almost stumbling down the stairs only catching himself on the railing, skidding to a halt only when he saw him.
Runaan.
There he was, reclined in a seat by a window, head resting on the window, eyes closed. He shifted, making a small sound and Ethari, Ethari broke.
A sob escaping him he stumbled to his heart, falling to his knees in front of him, uncaring about the ache he knew would be there in the morning. Just crying into the legs of the man who was still there.
Runaan startled awake at the cry, shocked to see his strong husband falling to his knees in front of him, broken. He was worried, trying to remember where he was and why. Only recalling a moment later that he left his bed overwhelmed by emotion, trying not to wake the man who desperately needed sleep.
Cursing himself he pushed himself out of the chair onto the ground in front of the crying man, gripping his shoulders in a vice-like grip. He didn’t mean to fall asleep, only meaning to calm himself down to return later.
Caressing Etharis head he whispered apologies going in one ear and out the other as his husbands hands gripped his waist and back with enough force to bruise,
They sat like that for what felt like hours, holding each other until Etharis tears slowed and breaths slowed.
“I’m so sorry my love,” came the soft whisper, “I meant to come back, I’m so sorry”. Ethari just held him tighter in response, trying to find his voice again. “You were gone,” his voice rough from disuse and muffled in Runaan's neck “I thought it was all a dream.”
Runaan pulled himself away, tearing Ethari’s head away from his neck until their eyes met. Thumbs wiping away tears he stared into his husbands eyes. “I’m here, I kept my promise, I’m real.” The soft words are quiet, but forceful. “I’m never leaving you again.”
Tears escaped Etharis' eyes, never making it far under Runaan’s caressing hands. Bringing his own hand up to his husband's face, just holding his cheek. Ruaan pecked the palm holding his face, not dissimilar to their reunion hours earlier. “I’m so sorry my heart” Runaan said softly again.
Shaking his head, Ethari got up, legs shaking and pulled Runaan up with him and started pulling him in the direction of their bedroom. Runaan followed silently without question, not wanting to break the silence between them. Ethari not letting go of his hand even when he reached the bed, just pulling Runaan close and burying his head into his neck, breathing in his scent. They were silent for a few moments just breathing each other in. The soft moon light blanketing the room.
Ethari was the one to break the silence, “No more apologies, you’re here, that's what matters right now.” His voice was quiet, “We’ll talk in the morning.” Runaan hummed softly, hand back in Ethari’s hair, running his fingers through the knots. “Ok,” he murmured, “I love you.” Ethari gripped him tighter before easing up.
“I love you too, my Heart.”