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It starts when Lucy goes to the cabinet for some cookies that she stored away for when she had a hard day.
And today was that day. It wasn’t one particular thing per say but everything just kept piling on top of each other. And then she got called to the kids school because June had an accident and needed new clothes. Levi then was late to baseball practice and forgot everything he needed at home.
By the time Lucy got home Ava was running around the yard instead of sitting and doing her homework. Apparently she had seen something on YouTube that said if you got your zoomies out it would make you spatter or something like that.
Tim wasn’t home because he was picking Levi up and Lucy was just done. It was only Wednesday and she felt like she had lived a million lives and all she wanted was some cookies.
And maybe some milk.
Lucy reaches up in the cabinet but feels nothing but empty space. She groans a little and she knows instantly what’s wrong.
“Ava Rose Bradford!” She yells. Her ten year old daughter skids into the kitchen bouncing on her feet a little.
“Yes?”
“Did you eat my cookies?” She asks calmly. This has happened before and that’s why Lucy insisted on putting them up higher. But it was too hard for even her to reach—so she lowered them a little.
“I—” Ava starts. “Yes. But I was hungry and I wanted cookies.”
“You always want cookies Ava.” Lucy points out. She runs her hands down her face and then looks at her daughter with narrowed eyes.
“I’m sorry mom.” Ava says blinking up at her and giving her puppy eyes. “I will buy you more cookies.”
Lucy blows out a breath and shakes her head a little. “It’s okay Aves. I will ask your dad to bring some home.” Ava chews on her bottom lip and then goes to the refrigerator and pulls out something. She turns back around and hands Lucy a cheese stick. Her kids were obsessed with them and Lucy made sure they were always stocked up.
“You can have my last cheese stick mom.” She says. Lucy takes it from her, and gives her a smile.
“Thanks baby.” She says. “I appreciate it.” Ava nods and then turns back around and walks out of the kitchen.
Lucy sighs and goes to put the cheese stick back in the refrigerator. As sweet as it was she could exactly eat the cheese stick and she wouldn’t want to eat Ava’s last one.
She pulls out her phone and dials Tim’s number. He answers on the first ring and she hears Levi’s voice in the background.
“Hey babe.” He says. “I got Levi and he’s in one piece.” Lucy rolls her eyes a little and leans against the counter.
“Hey.” She says. “Can you stop by the store and buy some more cookies and cheese sticks?” There’s a brief silence over the phone.
“Ava ate your cookies?” Tim asks. “I told you should put them up higher.”
“She would still find a way to eat them.” Lucy grumbles. “She’s a gremlin.” Tim laughs a little and Lucy can’t help but smile. Their life was chaotic and crazy, sometimes she couldn’t tell left from right but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
She has four amazing kids even if they ate her snacks occasionally and an amazing husband who would go to the store and get her more.
“Okay.” Tim says. “I’ll pick up some pizza on the way too.” Lucy closes her eyes briefly and opens them again because after the day she has had she really didn’t feel like cooking.
“Thanks Tim.” She says. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
***
“I can’t believe she ate my cookies.” Lucy says to Tim as they are getting ready for bed. “She’s a gremlin.”
“She is.” Tim agrees. “But it’s Ava.” Lucy sighs and plays with comforter.
“She did offer to buy me more cookies. And offered me her last cheese stick.” Lucy says.
“She’s a sweet gremlin.” Tim says and Lucy laughs a little.
“Yeah.”
There’s a moment of silence before Tim speaks again. “Are you okay?” He asks and he looks concerned.
“I’m fine.” Lucy says and even if it wasn’t the full truth. Even if she felt like she just needed to rest and take a break she knows she can’t.
She has a job.
She has a family.
She has four kids who need her.
“Are you sure?” Tim asks. “You seem—” But Lucy just shakes her head and rolls over so she can hover over him.
“I’m good baby.” She says swooping down to kiss him. Tim rolls them over and soon all is forgotten.
She is distracted and she is okay with that—for right now.
***
Lucy does hide the cookies better. She stands on a step stool and puts them in the highest cabinet. The only way Ava could get them is if she climbed on the counter and reached up (which she would).
“Moooom.” Levi whines from the kitchen. “Ava is on the counter again!”
“Ava Rose!” Lucy calls. She walks into the kitchen and sees Ava up on the counter already pulling the cookie box down. “Jesus Christ Ava.”
“Why did you put them up so high?” Ava asks pouting just as Tim comes walking into the room. He doesn’t say a word just lifts Ava off the counter and puts her on the ground taking the box of cookies out of her hands.
“Because I didn’t want you to get them again.” Lucy says. Ava crosses her arms over her chest and frowns at Lucy.
“It doesn’t make sense.” She says. Lucy raises her eyebrows at her, wondering what was going on in her head.
“What doesn’t?”
“Why you put them so high. You are short too.”
“Ava!” Tim says sounding aghast. “Why—” Ava doesn’t pay him any mind and Lucy wonders how so much sass could be in one little body.
“I’m sorry.” Lucy says. “It will come in handy being short one day.”
“Why couldn’t I be tall like Levi!” Ava says. “It’s not fair! He’s only six and he could probably reach the cookies.”
“Your brother is a reincarnation of your dad Ava.” Lucy points out. “You had to take after me somehow.”
Ava blows out a breath and then turns around and stomps away. “The sass is strong in that one.” Tim says. Lucy doesn’t reply just takes the box of cookies from Tim.
Sassy or not at least Lucy could finally have her cookies.
***
“Mom can you help me with my math?” Ava asks jumping into front of Lucy. “I have a math test tomorrow and I don’t—”
“Mama!” June steps in front of Ava and looks up at her with big brown eyes. “I fell down.” She points to her knee and Lucy sees a tiny scratch on it. Lucy sighs softly and walks over to the kitchen and opens up a drawer pulling out a bandaid. They kept them in the kitchen because it was easier than running upstairs to get it.
“Here you go Junebug.” She says handing it to her. “Ava you need help with math?” Her oldest daughter nods her head.
“Yes! I understand most of it but then I work it out and it’s wrong!” Ava says already sounding frustrated.
“Aves relax. I will help you.” Lucy says. “Go sit down. I will be right there.” Ava nods and runs off.
“Mom! Levi threw his ball over the fence!” Daisy calls from the backyard. “Now he’s trying to climb the fence.”
Lucy takes a deep breath in. She’s not sure how it’s not Friday yet. She has barely survived the week and she just got home.
She needs a break.
She needs to do something or she may lose her mind.
“Levi Timothy Bradford.” She yells when she gets to the slider and sees Levi is halfway up the fence. Her son freezes and turns to look at her.
“Hi mama.”
“Get down.” She says. Levi sighs but slides down the fence. “Go inside and clean up. And go play. We will get your ball later.”
Levi slumps inside and Lucy turns back to Ava. “What do I need to help you with Aves?”
Ava starts talking a mile a minute and Lucy takes a deep breath.
She could do this.
Tim would be home soon to help her.
She could do this.
***
Lucy opens the refrigerator and pulls out some veggies, and a juice. And a snickers bar Tim had thrown in there the other day. And then she goes to the cabinet and pulls out the crackers and the cookies she hid away. She looks around making sure the coast was clear and then she makes her escape upstairs.
It was Saturday and once again today had been a day. It was full of the kids activities, and then the kids fighting on what to do next and then cleaning the house and their room. Lucy was exhausted—Tim was out doing some errands. The girls were watching tv and Levi was outside in the backyard.
She just needed a break, and she was lucky she got the kids to actually just relax.
“Mom!” Daisy jumps out in front of her. Her pigtails were a mess and her shirt had blood running down it. Lucy’s heart starts pounding and she drops the food behind her and bends down in front of her daughter. “I lost a tooth!” She holds it up and Lucy sighs in relief.
“That’s great Dais.” She says ruffling her hair. “The tooth fairy will have to come tonight.”
“Will she bring me $10 like she did Ava?” Daisy asks eagerly giving Lucy a smile. Her top tooth is missing making her look even more adorable than she already was.
“Well—” Lucy says. The truth was the $10 was a mistake, Tim had fumbled around and mistaken a $1 for a $10 and now—
“Please?!?” Daisy says giving her the puppy eyes that Ava no doubt taught her.
“We will see.” Lucy says. “Depends on what kind of mood the tooth fairy is in.” Daisy nods and skips off. Lucy gathers the food in her arms once again and heads to her bedroom. She takes a deep breath and then opens the closet door. She steps inside and then shuts the door behind her.
Thank god they got a house with a big closet.
She sits down against the wall and takes a deep breath. It was peaceful in here, she had thought about escaping here several times over the last decade. She can’t believe this is the first time she was actually doing it.
She starts eating her veggies first (if she was going to be eating in the closet—at least she was being healthy). And then opens the juice and sighs.
Paradise
This was paradise—
“Mommy!” A voice calls. It’s in the distance but she knows who it is. June. “Mommy!” She doesn’t move. She doesn’t even get up from the floor, she knows her kids they would find her eventually.
“Lucy?” Another voice calls. “Where are you?” Lucy groans and she knows her husband won’t stop looking for her.
“Girls?” Tim calls. Lucy does get up and opens the door a crack. “Where’s your mom?”
“She was going to your room.” Daisy says. “Daddy! I lost a tooth!” Lucy hears Tim say something to Daisy but it’s muffled and then she hears Daisy giggling.
“Lucy?” Tim calls again his voice getting closer. “Where—” She freezes when she sees his shoes. He opens the closet door and she casually steps out looking up at him innocently.
“Um.” Tim says looking confused but also amused. “What are you doing?”
“Organizing my clothes.” She says rolling her eyes.
“You brought food to organize your clothes?” Tim asks. “In the closet?” Lucy sighs loudly and goes back into the closet and slides down the wall.
“I was escaping.”
“Escaping? From who?”
“The gremlins.” She says. “They were fighting and going crazy all day and I just needed an escape.”
“Oh.” Tim says and he ducks inside the closet and slides down the wall too. “So you came to the closet?”
“They were busy. I didn’t think they would need me for awhile so—it wasn’t going to be forever.”
“Lucy.” Tim says gently. “If you wanted to escape why didn’t you just tell me?”
“You were busy Tim.” She says. “I mean I feel bad because I know they need me and maybe it’s selfish but it’s like I never have a moment to myself.”
Tim hums softly and pulls her closer, he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you.” He says. “It’s okay to feel burned out and it’s also okay to take a break Lucy. You don’t need me to tell you that our life is crazy.”
“Nope.” She says laying her head on his shoulder. “I know that.”
“Well then you should also know that I am here for you Luce. If you need a break from everything. If you need a spa day or whatever you can have it. I will happily take over.”
Lucy heart clenches but in the best way possible, she was so lucky to have Tim in her life. The man who would always support and help her. And love her no matter what.
“Okay.” Lucy mutters. “Thank you.” Tim hums and kisses her again and then they just sit in silence.
“This is kind of nice.” Tim says. He reaches over to grab a cracker. “It’s nice and quiet in here.”
“Yep.” Lucy says. “Now I have to change my hiding spot.” Tim laughs and opens his mouth to say something else when suddenly all four of the kids are in front of them.
“Mom? Dad?” Ava asks looking at them and then her siblings. “Why are you in the closet? Are you eating food? That’s not fair! We can’t eat food in our rooms.” Lucy rolls her eyes and gets up from the floor. Tim does the same and Lucy leans against the doorway.
“Well sometimes grownups need quiet time.” Lucy says. “And it’s not always quiet in this house so—”
“I go in my closet too.” Daisy pipes up. “Sometimes.” Lucy exchanges a look with Tim who looks a little concerned.
“Daisy.” He starts. “If it’s too loud just tell us. If you need to escape mom and I can help you.” He gives Lucy a pointed look.
“Okay.” Daisy says quietly. Lucy’s heart breaks a little because Daisy would be the one to keep it all in. She would be the one to go to her closet to hide and escape the noise. She was their quiet, observant one.
“Okay.” Lucy says. “Everyone go downstairs and we will be down in a minute.” Ava leaves first and the other three follow. Once they are gone Lucy turns to Tim with a smile.
“They are good kids.” She says. “Even if they drive me crazy sometimes.” Tim hums and leans forward to kiss her.
“Agreed.” He says bending down to gather up all Lucy’s snacks. “You were really serious about escaping huh?”
Lucy laughs and starts walking out of the bedroom when something occurs to her.
“Oh you owe Daisy $10 for her tooth.” She says. Tim groans loudly and shakes his head a little.
“I’m never living that down am I?” He asks. Lucy shakes her head and starts walking towards the door.
“Nope.”
And maybe she didn’t get the escape that she wanted but she has Tim to lean and her kids were understanding too.
And she wouldn’t have it any other way.