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The cold air of autumn slides over Sae's figure, bending to the solid and continuing its path. The smoke of his cigarette is messy, all around him like he's a mystery. It annoys him to no end, he's here for release, not a coughing fit.
It would be easy to get it off the wind, just close the window, and you would be fine. But right now, with his own feet squeezed with Iglesias’ it's impossible to move. He feared that if he did one wrong move they would be tangled up in the bed. And certainly he's not in the mood — or mentality — to drag himself in the same relationship he's been hooked on.
So he just lets the wind take over, ease his thoughts and numb his skin while he poisons his lungs with a far better drug than Bunny.
He doesn't know why they are sitting here, stuck in this corner in Bunny's apartment. He doesn't even know why he came for a visit. All he knows is he's completely smitten for the same guy he said he was over just a few days ago. The universe seems to know how to make him eat his own words, how hilarious, you must be having fun up there, huh, Gods?
Even when he's trying his best, Bunny wasn't the most cooperative partner when it came to behaving. That god awful personality Sae himself is surprised he likes and worse than nothing smile. If he could kill Bunny he would do it in a heartbeat, but that freak probably would enjoy it. So Sae decides otherwise, even if his heart doesn't want to.
He feels the way Bunny's feet creeps up inside his sweatpants, how easily they climb their way up in his smooth legs. Sae doesn't need words or a smirk to know what he's up to, he can perfectly guess it by the way he acts: looking far away into the horizon while moving his feet like that. If annoying Sae was a job Bunny easily would be a millionaire, no, a billionaire. And he's sure he would be proud too. This damn guy…
“You wanna be sexed up abusive homosexuals?”
Now, Sae had heard a lot of crazy ideas from Bunny: late night adventures, swimming on the ocean during winter, changing jerseys as a prank, all kinds of stuff you could think of. But this… Was new. He thought they agreed to never bring up a relationship between them since Sae broke up with Bunny, and he promised. So then why would he say this? But it's stupid to trust Bunny, the guy is a total weirdo, always has something under his sleeve. Expecting the unexpected should be common sense around this guy.
“Fuck no.”
Sae hissed, as bitter as he is, taking a long drag from his cigarette while he focused on the beauty of the streets. It's not beautiful, in fact, it's messy to its core, but Sae chooses to ignore it for the sake of his own dignity. The answer came out sharper than he thought it would, not like he regrets a thing. Bunny deserves it, he tells himself, but he's not even sure if he believes that.
“Why not?”
Now things are getting interesting. The way Bunny smirks tells everything Sae needs to know: first, he's looking for some adrenaline, second, he's basically in heat. The same look he would give to Sae before they moved things to the bedroom. The same look he would give before he pulled Sae by the wrist and started running in the town with no real destination. Sae learned how to take care of it, well barely, because he still lacks the self control to say “no” to Bunny. And lately practice isn't good.
He takes a few seconds before actually answering. Why not? Why not? There are hundreds of answers: because it's stupid, reckless, unhealthy, not right. And so on. Because it would only worsen our relationship, because we would be two people more than friends and that would strain our friendship, because we're supposed to be exes. He can't say any of them out, he dreads them. Dreads the moment he actually does say them and realizes it's real. That he can't afford being reckless like that, otherwise he'll be in the same hellhole as before. So instead, he says something lighthearted, a meek excuse, one that wouldn't stop him if he wanted to escape from these borders of their new bound friendship.
“Because you'd be doing all the abusing.”
He makes sure he doesn't sound interested, making sure Bunny doesn't catch that undertone. Considering if he does he'll just push up his buttons further in. And that's the least thing he needs.
“Oh? Like what”
But of course, hiding from Bunny Iglesias is impossible, one way or another, his eerie dark red eyes — that resembles too much of blood than Sae could admit — seeing right through him, his words and everything. Sae knew how much he liked to toy with others and the subtle meaning they hide behind their facade. And it seems like today's victim is him. God, he should get a raise for enduring this guy everyday.
“Just the usual…”
He mutters, lowering it down like he's an elementary school girl whispering an embarrassing secret of hers to a friend. The comparison itself is funny. Pitiful. Laughable perhaps. He can't believe he lets himself be reduced to this when he's with Iglesias.
“You'd like… Put a cigarette on my neck and lick the burn mark.”
He explained, trying to make sure their eyes don't meet as he brings the astray closer to himself, gently patting the cigarette on the glass before he holds it between his lips again. The hesitance in his voice is vivid as ever, not pleased to say his thoughts out loud. Bunny probably knows what to make of them by now, and what buttons to push to annoy Sae. And Sae is terrified of exactly that.
Bunny, on the other hand, weights Sae up and down, like he's considering if he shall be his dinner for tonight or should he spare him for another. Sae is aware that in the end he will be eaten, so he doesn't bother thinking. Unlike freakzoid over there who likes to imagine the weirdest things to get it off. Still he smirks, leaning back confidently.
“We can switch if that's what you like.”
That's new. Iglesias isn't the type to bow down to submission, he thrilled something far better than just the usual Dom/sub dynamic could offer. What he liked was far more complicated than just dominant and submissive. Sae himself, despite being part of them, still couldn't fully figure it out. If he's mysterious then Bunny Iglesias is twice as mysterious.
It would be foolish to say yes, fall right into the trap Iglesias set for. Sae's supposed to be over him by now, let go of the ropes he's been holding on for so long, desperately, stupidly. Even when he shouldn't be doing that. It's frustrating to know it's wrong for you and still want it, that's basically asking for poison isn't it? Indeed it is. Maybe Sae just wants a taste, or maybe something far more permanent. One that would be stuck with him until his death. Like a disease, slowing and surely killing him while he gets to live his life however he wants.
And for a second, it's easy to just blink and forget the world doesn't exist. It's just the two of them. Sae and Bunny.
He doesn't say anything, instead, he makes a move. Shifting on the painfully small couch, until his knees are propped against Bunny's thighs, not quite on his lap but also not too far away. His hips hand mid air, he wouldn't let him have the victory of having Sae on his lap that easily. No. He has to earn that ass.
Understanding Sae's motivation, something akin to fear creeped up on Bunny's spine, shooting him like electric guns. It's more sparkly and hot, a kind that Bunny likes. It's not time to wonder about these newfound feelings. He cannot afford a waste of second, so instead he seals his hands around Sae's hips. Not ass, he knows how stubborn Sae is. He wouldn't have a touch even if he wanted to.
“W-Wait... I wasn't being...”
Bunny doesn't run, he doesn't even flinch when the hot tip of the cigarette presses hard against the side of his neck, just above the vein. In fact, he's holding back a low moan right around the same place as that cigarette. He enjoys it harder when he's pushing it like that, it feels like torture, and Bunny Iglesias is in for it.
His grip on Sae's hips tighter only a bit when he feels him pull the cigarette off his skin, his thumb checking over the new bump created by the heat. He doesn't make a comment, but that way he stares down makes Bunny think Sae wants to see more of them. And he's certain he'd allow Sae, hence probably why the red head is quiet as a mouse right now.
“Continue, please…”
It was supposed to egg Sae on, cause more trouble, put Sae off the edge and maybe get a few extra hickeys. But instead he sounded needy, like a touch staved dog waiting for a pat from its owner. The thought is causing him to feel weird. And he's not sure how to react to this new… Discovery about himself.
Sae nods, leaning in, his tongue flat against the burnt skin, licking the mark just like promised. He shifted closer, his other hand hooked around Bunny's body, keeping him in place before he seethes for his lap, grasping the handful of feather white hair and pulling it for more access.
The wind doesn't run chilly anymore, in fact, it's spring warm. Helping Bunny relax under Sae's shadow — despite being the taller one — and coaxing him into the action.
His hands were abandoned on Sae's clothes, forgetting the real deal, but he's being kissed all around his neck by Sae right now and he's not sure if he wants it to be over. The lightheaded feeling the kisses guarantees him: Sae's lingering, slow touches to the back of his hair, the way he rocks his body ever so gently on his lap, drives him crazy. It's all a bit too much, and Bunny finds himself clenching fist around Sae's sweater, his grip on him is vice-like, refusing to let go of the red head.
Sae doesn't mind this. Leaving trail after trail on Bunny's skin, each hickey slightly darker than the other. Aching for something deep down, that lost feeling of love once they shared so proudly. Their stubbornness, before anything else, refusing to reconnect. Would things be any different? Sae thinks, unbuttoning Bunny's shirt, their tongues passing by each other's mouth back and forth, either of them unable to stop that endeavour being born within the heat between. He doesn't think he minds it, at least for now, it's easy to excuse. It doesn't mean anything. He's just a one-night stand. I'm over him, it'll be fine. But no matter how much he lies to himself, at the end of the day, he'll stare at the ceiling, with a body far used to moving, with hickeys and bite marks all over his skin, he'll think of it. How stupid it was to go with this idea, falling right into Iglesias’ traps.
But right now he wants to keep that spark of endeavor, let it shine bright until they have no reason to light it. Until both of them get tired of this game.
And until then, they'll continue.
Like the hopeless idiots they are.