Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A warm fall day came upon Fuurin. The sweltering summer humidity was coming to an end and a chill breeze was forming in the air crafting a perfect day to hangout with friends. Sakura faced the consequences of this weather, the group chat was blowing up his phone with his friends trying to plan their next hangout. They had decided to go to the mall to shop and then to Nirei’s house to play video games and watch movies. Nirei also invited Suo and Sakura to spend the night if they wanted and they both accepted the invite.

Sakura was excited as always to join his friends despite the fact that he did not have much money to shop with. He grabbed one of his few going out shirts and got ready as quickly as he could. Their plans were often spontaneous which Sakura didn’t mind, but that meant he had to prepare and budget differently than he used to.

They, being Nirei, Suo, Kiryu, and Tsugeura decided to meet up at Sakura’s place because it was in the middle and close to school. Sakura was anticipating their knocks on the door waiting to see who would arrive first.

They agreed to meet up at 9:30 and so he fidgets while he waits. At 9:27 he hears a knock at the door and quickly heads over to greet the first arrival.

He opens the door to Kiryu standing with a stylish outfit as always and he smiles, “Sakura-chan good morning!”

Sakura hides a smile, “good morning… Come inside”

The place is pretty bare like usual, but it is starting to fill up with the things they gifted him.

“Did you eat breakfast yet?” Kiryu asks.

“I didn't, wasn't hungry.”

“Alright, well you should eat something once we leave,” Kiryu replies keeping his demeanor light.

The door sounds again, but this time the person walks right in after knocking. It is Suo who arrives at 9:30 on the dot. He smiles and waves.

“Good morning Sakura, Kiryu.”

Sakura blushes and looks away while Kiryu replies. Suo promptly joins them on the floor to wait. He hopes it's not much longer.

Just 2 minutes later Tsugeura arrives. He apologizes for running late exclaiming that he had lost track of time during his morning routine. No one seemed to mind though.

They all settled down on the floor talking a little about the day ahead and school stuff. After 6 more minutes Nirei arrived.

He walked in the door looking slightly flustered but mostly fine. “Hey guys, I am so sorry I am late. My parents were holding me up.”

Suo looks over in concern, “it's okay we were just sitting here talking, no big deal.”

Nirei then rants, “thanks, but yeah they have been on my nerves trying to get me to study. They act like I don't already worry about it myself. But I talked it out and you guys can come over after.”

“As long as it's not imposing,” Kiryu says and Suo agrees.

“It should be fine, should we get going now?” Nirei dismisses.

They all pack up and head out of the house. The walk is quick and the weather is already warm despite how early it is. It's just a simple path down the road and a few turns before they get there. It only takes about 10 minutes.

On the walk they talk more about what movie they are going to watch and are shocked by Sakura's lack of movie knowledge. Each time he gets defensive and blushes when he doesn't know a movie. By the time they arrive at the mall they have decided on a movie. Sakura wants another sweet drink, but doesn't say anything. He hopes someone else will bring it up.

To his surprise, they do. The group decides to split up for the people who want the drink and those who want to go get clothes.

Mostly it's Kiryu who wants it and so Sakura goes with him. Nirei and Tsugeura want to go shopping in a store for various things. Suo has no preference, but ultimately decides to go with the group getting drinks so he doesn't have to be with Tsugeura.

Sakura looks around the food court and tries to contain his excitement. He doesn't want to make his craving for that drink and its whipped cream and everything so obvious. Though he fails in his attempts because the two boys see him eyeing the menu with sparkles in his eyes. Kiryu goes to order first but gets two drinks. Sakura walks up to order.

“Don't worry about it Sakura, it's on me!”

“Huh? I'll pay you back!”

Kiryu smiles at how flustered Sakura looks, “it's okay, just get me something in return sometime!”

Suo wraps his arm around Sakura's shoulder, “accept the gesture Sakura-san, say thank you.”

Sakura looks away and mumbles thanks. Suo and Kiryu laugh.

The drinks are ready after a few minutes of idle waiting and Sakura excitedly takes a sip. It tastes just as good as the last time, he especially likes the whip cream on top.

Kiryu makes an “mm” noise and says, “what do you think of this flavor? I like it alot”.

Sakura nods sipping quickly, “its better than the last one.”

“I agree!”

Suo then gets their attention, “guys Nirei is asking us where we are in the group chat and telling us to find them. He is spamming.”

Suo sends a quick “on our way” text and they all head over to the store where Tsugeura and Nirei are currently shopping.

Nirei sees them and waves. He begins to show all of the clothes he picked out and explains why he chose them extensively. Tsugeura has a few simple shirts and some work out clothes. They both want to try them on and then checkout so they can hang out at the arcade place in the mall. Though their trips to the fitting room are interrupted when Sakura randomly drops his drink to the floor. They all turn to look at him, his face looks fearful, his eyes are wide and every hair seems to have raised on his body. He could have just been startled, but he is staring off into nothing. Nirei is the first to say something and Suo reaches to pick up his spilled drink which was a little more than halfway done.

“Sakura-san, are you okay?”

He doesn't respond, but his breathing seems to get faster.

Kiryu is the one who steps in to comfort him and get him to talk.

“Sakura-Chan, can you hear me?”

Kiryu walks into Sakura’s view and tries to get his attention. He waves his hand and looks concerned.

“Sakura-Chan, will you nod your head for me?”

Sakura nods and Kiryu slowly moves to grab his hand and hold it. From there he squeezes it and waits for Sakura to become more responsive.

“Can you feel me squeezing your hand?”

Sakura nods again and starts to squeeze back. His face is devoid of color and he is looking towards the floor.

Kiryu then attempts to provide comfort, “you are safe, okay? How about we go outside for some fresh air?”

He then speaks softly, “I spilled the drink you got me.”

Kiryu shakes his head, “that's no big deal. You can always get another, let's go now yeah?”

Kiryu’s lips curl up to the edge of a smile. Meanwhile, the other boys seem to tense up, on the lookout for who could have warranted this reaction in their friend. They all drag Sakura outside, totally abandoning their shopping spree, and he trudges alongside them. Tsugeura takes the front as the tallest, and Sakura hides behind him. Suo and Nirei are in the back and Kiryu is at his side.

Time lapsed weirdly in those few minutes but once in the fresh air Sakura began to seem more present. He had tightly gripped onto Tsugeura’s back and his heart was pounding. He wishes he could have done more, he ruined the trip.

While still hiding behind Tsugeura he finally speaks up and breaks the silence, “I’m sorry. We didn’t have to leave, I was being dumb- I don’t know why I did that.”

Suo replies quickly, “nothing to be sorry for. Something clearly made you upset, you reacted that way because you were startled.”

Nirei adds, “please don’t be sorry. You saved me from buying clothes I won’t wear so…”

“Sakura!” a voice yells out.

Sakura freezes. The others look at each other and then at the young man approaching who yelled his name.

“Sakura! Why did you walk away from me? I know you saw me.”

The boy steps out from hiding and shields his eyes from the guy. He seems to shrink under his gaze to a small boy.

“What do you want?” he says firmly.

The guy steps a little closer to him, everyone else looks ready to hit him.

“How are you? Are these guys your friends?” he asks with enthusiasm.

“Cut the crap, what do you want?”

“Oh come on, don’t be like that, I was just shopping in the area. You should visit soon, your room is waiting for you.”

Sakura is visibly shaking, “shut up.”

The older boy then addresses everyone else, “how do you guys put up with him?” he laughs, “he can never watch his manners.” He then pulls out his phone and gets a picture of Sakura, he's giggling.

The phone is smacked out of his hand by Nirei.

“Dude, what the hell!” he says, then grabs his phone from the floor, “You're lucky it's not cracked.”

Kiryu steps in, “you’re lucky that’s all that happened.”

And although he has said no words, Suo is staring at the guy with a murderous dark glare.

“Sakura, come on, tell them I am joking.”

“He's- hes joking, it's okay,” Sakura says quietly.

“Haha, you are so pathetic wow-”

Instantly the guy's face met the floor and his hands were uncomfortably bound behind his back. He screamed when it happened trying to get a glance at who attacked him.

“Get off of me!” he yells.

Meanwhile Suo tightens his grip. He has no intention to let go and he smiles a little at the guy. He begins to twist the guys arms more watching as he squirms in pain. Nirei and Kiryu are close by, watching in surprise as the normally reserved boy gets upset.

Tsugeura and Sakura are now a few paces away. Tsugeura is hugging Sakura. He always tries to touch him now that he knows how much he loves physical touch. He also hopes the hug can help the shaking.
Suo whispers in the guy's ear, “if you ever even get near Sakura again, I will find you. If you even look in his direction, it's over. Do you understand?” He twists the guys arms more.

The guy whines, “ow, ah, yes I understand, let me go!”

Suo instantly releases him at the admission, “go away, you disgust me.”

The man quickly walks in the other direction. The two others stare at Suo in shock, he was so intense. Once the man is a good distance away the group shares a sigh of relief. Then like a switch was flipped, a concerned look fills Suo’s face and he heads over to check on Sakura. His mannerisms are gentle enough that no one would guess he pinned a guy to the ground moments earlier.

Sakura looks away from him and hides in Tsugeura’s chest but still speaks, “Suo, everyone, thank you.”

Tsugeura hugs Sakura and is quickly joined by everyone else in a group hug. They decide to have a night in and eat food at Nirei’s place. The night is filled with fun and the incident from earlier almost feels forgotten. Though truthfully they are all itching to know more; who that guy was, what he was doing, and why was he so mean to Sakura? They don't know if Sakura will ever explain, but they want him to stay away forever. Sakura deserves only the best and they all want to prove it to him.

Chapter Text

Sakura and Jo were hanging out for the first time in a while, just the two of them. As always, Jo was worried about his friend and wanted to cheer him up and check in. He really seemed to be doing better, much more cheerful and happy. Although, Jo still could not help but worry anyways. To combat this he sent him a simple text; what are you doing this weekend? To which Sakura replied he was free and that brings them to now. Luckily, it was a warm and sunny day which made going somewhere fun outside a perfect choice.

Jo was meeting Sakura at the tunnel and from there they were going to walk around and eat something. Jo also led the conversation asking simple questions like “how are you doing?” or “what should we eat?”

Sakura could not seem to get the blush off his face. His replies were along the lines of “I don’t know” to most questions and Jo would laugh. Sakura was so endearing. He would do anything to protect him or help him, he just wished the boy knew how special and loved he was.

Sakura then asks him a question, “so how are you doing? And don’t lie to me.”

Jo’s heart warmed, “I am actually good, I promise. Things are going a lot better and I feel better. My head is in the right place.”

Sakura nods his head, “well, that's good.”

Jo then puts his hand on Sakura’s hair and rubs his head. Sakura subtly leans into the touch, as if afraid acknowledging it will take that comfort away.

Since they did not have strong preferences on where to eat Jo picked something and led the way. They are headed towards an udon restaurant run by an old couple. Their udon is good, its all takeout with some outdoor seats. The place was pretty popular and normally busy. Though he wanted to pick somewhere really tasty for Sakura. Jo always enjoyed it, he used to eat here with his friends all of the time.

They make their way to the old place. It is small and right next to a salon and grocer. There is a line to go eat, which is not unexpected, the food was delicious. Jo leads the way getting into line and Sakura gets behind him.

“Do you like udon?”

Sakura looks like he is thinking, “yeah, haven't had it much in restaurants though.”

“Well you're about to have a treat. This place is so good.”

“It smells good.”

There are 6 people in line ahead of them. A group of 4 and a couple, it should not take much longer for them to order. Not even a minute after the couple ordered and it was finally their turn.

“Do you know what you want?”

Sakura shakes his head, though he does have a choice in mind.

“I like the beef one, that's what I recommend.”

Jo then places his order and instead of paying says, “and whatever he wants.”

The old lady takes a second, then scrunches her face, “I can’t serve him.”

Sakura instantly shuts down and looks to the floor, and Jo is pissed. He steps in front of Sakura to cover him from the old lady's sight. The few people behind him in line watch as Jo gets close to her.

“What was that?” maybe he did not hear right.

“I can take your order, but not that boy’s. He’s got a curse.”

Upon hearing that, Jo panics for a moment. How could anyone say that about someone? Especially right in front of them.

“You can cancel my order, we’re not getting food here,” he retorts.

He looks back at Sakura who seems to be in a daze. All of his blush and smiles are replaced by a ghostly paleness and slouched posture. Jo puts his arm around Sakura who flinches away. Sakura chooses to look Jo in the eye as if the touch gained him some awareness and Jo can see his eyes sparkling with tears.

Jo reaches his arms out his voice soft, “oh Sakura…”

Sakura steps closer and becomes completely engulfed in the hug. His head fits perfectly onto Jo’s chest. Jo rests his chin on top of Sakura’s head and then begins to guide them away from the store.

Jo finds a nearby bench and sits the younger down before sitting next to him. He is thinking of what to say to make him feel better, but he really wishes he did not have to hear that at all. He wondered how often this happened to the boy and why people were so judgemental. Sakura was so happy too, he should have picked another place to eat.

“Sakura,” Jo says softly, “will you look at me?”

The boy looks in his direction, but doesn’t meet his eyes, “look, if this is about earlier, I don’t want you to feel bad or whatever, it's not a big deal. I was just surprised she said that, it's fine.”

Jo thinks for a moment, watching as Sakura clenches his fists and fidgets around. He could tell the boy that it is not fine and that he does not deserve to be treated that way, but that could backfire.

He sighs, “I wish no one ever made you feel like it is fine for them to hurt you.”

Sakura hears what Jo said and lets it sink in. Those careful words echo in his head, they don’t hold pity or anger, they sound like an observation. He unconsciously starts to blush at the statement because it seemed so caring. He does not know what to say, but he does look up at Jo and briefly looks in his eyes.

“You are one of the most genuine people I have met. You are not cursed, okay? God- I wish you didn’t have to hear that…” Jo looks distressed, “I never thought I would want to fight an old lady.”

Sakura finally cracks a small smile at his last sentence. Now, back in his senses, he changes the subject, “I really am hungry though.”

“Let's go get some pasta, that sounds good right now. I know a place that is close.”

This time they eat undisturbed. Sakura still seems off from what the lady said, but less so. Jo is still very angry about what happened, but even more, he is sad. He wants to know what the boy must have gone through in the past. He wants answers to why Sakura is the way he is, but he knows he won’t like them. At least now he has people in his life who care about him and Jo will always be there for him.

Chapter Text

The furin boys have been taking turns reading to the neighborhood elementary school kids. They were all assigned reading groups and worked in pairs. Today, somehow Sakura was joined by Umemiya. He seems to have heard that Sakura was anxious about going in and reading to kids, and this was true. Sakura has never hung out around kids and does not know how to talk to them. They make him nervous and they ask way too many questions.

Umemiya, on the other hand, loves kids. Growing up in the orphanage, he got lots of experience being a big brother and he loves to care for younger people. Kids adore him and he is a natural with people. Sakura was going to just pair with one of his classmates and try his best but he did not want to hurt any of the kids feelings or mess up.

The class figured out his hesitance when he continued to make excuses for why he could not go to read with the kids and they finally cornered him about it, respectfully. Sakura panicked and confessed that he is “bad with kids” and everyone reassured him.

“I really shouldn’t be around them”

When Sakura said this, the class then felt a collective anger. They decided to get someone older to help Sakura realize that he could be around kids and that it was okay. When Umemiya heard of the news he quickly volunteered to help and made plans to go with him to primary school the very next day.

Sakura is standing outside the door of the classroom and Umemiya expectantly waits for him to open the door. He is not sure why the boy is so hesitant and eventually he opens the door himself, leading the way.

There were 4 kids and a teacher in the room. They had reserved a small group to be read to today instead of a bunch of people coming in and pairing up like they would normally do.

Then a young girl excitedly yells, “Ume nii-chan!”

She runs to hug Umemiya and he lifts her up. “Hi! How are you doing Hana-chan?”

She giggles as he spins her around, “good.”

He then sets her down and bows lightly to the teacher, Sakura bows too. Sakura then begins to fidget nervously. Umemiya sees from the corner of his eyes, but does not acknowledge his behavior. He worried that vocal reassurance would backfire in some way and decided to let the kids lead the way to combat his insecurities.

“Hi everyone, I'm Hajime-san, and this is Haruka-san.”

The kids watch the two as they are introduced and wave. Sakura looks away as the kids smile at him. He can feel them staring. He feels strange and insecure. Kids were the ones that always pointed out his looks without realizing why it was hurtful. He didn't mind most comments, but some hit close to home, kids could be very mean. Those times when they asked what's wrong with him or why he looked so weird. Sakura didn't like it, though he found that it was simply an unfortunate consequence of his appearance.

He was waiting expectantly for the kids to say something, but they didn't. They sat down at the table and got ready to read. Umemiya was with two kids and Sakura was told to go with the other two. One was a boy and the other was a girl.

Sakura could feel his hands sweating. He was feeling more and more anxious by the second. If he said the wrong thing he could hurt them. He knew kids were sensitive and he was too intense for them. He looks over to Umemiya reading to the girl who he carried and another girl with short hair in pigtails.

He picks up the book silently and tries to copy how Umemiya is posed. He is starting to get agitated because he feels like he is not doing it right. He's overwhelmed and he wants to leave.

“Sakura-san,” Umemiya gets his attention, “what if our groups joined? We could read together?”

Sakura can only nod. He gets up and grabs his chair to move it next to them and the kids follow.

Once they are settled, Umemiya addresses everyone, “this is Sakura-sans first time reading to you all so could you give him some words of encouragement.”

The pigtailed girl speaks first, “you have got this Haruka san.”

The boy's blush is quickly apparent. The other kids agree with “yeses” or nods. Umemiya smiles at the scene.

Sakura grabs the book on the table unsure of what to say or how to start. He is wondering when the comments will come. When will the kids ask him about his looks?

He clears his throat and tries to relax. The words on the page look far away but he begins to read, it's just a picture book. As he continues he calms down a little, the kids don't seem to be reacting badly. He keeps looking at Umemiya for reassurance he is doing it right and he just nods his head.

As he reads on the kids look interested, he gets to a funny part of the book and one of them laughs. Something hits Sakura then and he feels strange, he was able to make a kid laugh. It felt really good for some reason, but suddenly he was having trouble reading. His grip on the book was getting shaky and his mouth was starting to feel dry. He knew he was blushing, he probably is messing up right now. He is just sitting there and not reading. He ruined everything with his panicking, Umemiya is going to be disappointed. He looks over and his senior is still smiling.

“I can take over now Sakura! Thank you!”

Sakura is then sure Umemiya is upset with him. He hands him the book and watches as he reads. He does it much better, and the kids are laughing a lot more. They were probably just pretending to like Sakura’s reading.

About 4 minutes later Umemiya finishes the book. They are supposed to do reading assignments now. Sakura does not want to help, especially if he wasn't good at reading to them. They split up again and Sakura watches as the two kids fill out their assignments.

The other girl looks at him and asks, “can you help please? I don't know what this means.”

Sakura is surprised at her trust in him and goes over to read the kanji, “it says cat.”

“Thanks!”

Sakura is surprised at her enthusiasm, “it's no big deal.”

Things go with almost no interruption from there. Sakura does not need to help them much, he just watches them write, and if they do something wrong he points it out. He feels a little awkward, but he doesn't know what to do.

“I finished,” the pigtailed girl says.

Sakura doesn't know what to say again, but Umemiya and the teacher come just in time to save him from a reply.

The teacher talks after observing from afar, “Great job, could I take a look at it to make sure you did everything right?”

Sakura sits in the chair quietly watching the teacher and the girl, he hopes that everything was done correctly because he was the one helping. The other girl also seems to be doing well, probably almost finished with the work.

“Thank you for the help Haruka san.”

“Ah- um it's no problem. You did all the hard work with your knowledge anyways.”

The teacher smiles and the little girl laughs, “you're funny Haruka-san.”

Sakura looks away, embarrassed. How is he funny? He tries not to react. Although he is offended, he also does not want to hurt the girl.

The other girl finishes up her worksheet and the two kids Umemiya was with seem to be finishing up as well. Umemiya stands up and walks over to the teacher.

“The kids did a great job today. They are so smart and learn quickly. I love helping out so thanks for arranging this so last minute. Sakura here,” he says as he wraps his arm around the boy, “is the best. We will be back soon, and I will see you at the regular time next week!”

The teacher agrees and thanks them both. They then go over to say bye to the kids.

“Sakura-san,” the girl, Hana-Chan, gets his attention, “your hair…”

Sakura’s heart stopped in its chest. He actually thought just maybe he could go without someone saying something, how foolish. He shouldn't have relaxed.

“Your hair is pretty like Ume-niichans”

He doesn't know how to react, he can only let out a questioning “hah??” to which the girl laughs at.

They don't think he's scary, it's different here. People are nice and they don't hate him.

“What's this about my hair?” Umemiya questions.

“You guys are the same!” The girl says.

Umemiya smiles and then goes down to hug her, “yeah we are! You are so right.”

He then sighs, “we have to go okay? I'll see you later and I love you,” he kisses the top of her head and stands up. “Bye everyone,” he says, which cues all of the kids to run up to him and give him hugs. He seems so happy smiling and laughing with all the kids in his arms and curled around his legs.

“Don't forget to say bye to Sakura-san!”

The kids then run over to Sakura and hug him in the same way, he looks uncomfortable, but not in a bad way. His face reverts to its default blushed expression.

They finally make it out of the classroom and begin to walk back to their school.

“You did great! You have nothing to worry about, kids seem to like you.”

Sakura looks confused, “I don't think so.. I didn't even do anything.”

“You did so much! Just being yourself is enough.”

At that statement Sakura feels warm inside.

“I would go to the reading thing again if needed.”

Umemiya smiles, Sakuras slowly warming up and watching it happen has been such an exciting experience. He hopes the boy will continue to come out of his shell.

“I'm so glad you enjoyed it. You can go with your class or come with me again. Whatever you want to do.”

“I didn’t say that I- whatever. I um- could I go with you?” Sakura asks nervously.

“Of course! Sometimes Tsubaki comes or Hiragi or Sugishita comes too if that's alright?”

“Yeah that's fine I think if it was too many kids… I don't know-”

“I think you would do great no matter the situation. You seem like a natural with kids.”

Sakura has gotten too many nice comments from Umemiya and the kids, this one really got him. He felt weird. He was good at fighting and not much else, he must be too violent for kids. Then suddenly he feels irritated.

“Stop lying! It's not true,” yeah he has outbursts, he yells, he isn’t gentle.

Umemiya doesn’t say anything, but he puts his arm around Sakura. His hand rubs up and down Sakura’s arm. He is warm, people are warm, Sakura always forgets. They continue to walk in silence next to each other. Sakura’s heart is beating fast, he wonders if he made Umemiya mad.

Then after a few minutes Umemiya stops and moves so his hands rest on Sakura’s shoulders. He looks into his eyes and says, “I would never lie to you.”

Sakura’s eyes seemed to sparkle then, his face softened, “oh”.

“Lets get some Pothos, my treat. I want to celebrate your first time going to read to the kids!”

“Okay,” he says, trying to fight a smile.

Chapter Text

Today a photographer was coming in to take class photos of all of the students and then the grade captains together. Sakura was a little nervous to have his picture taken but he figured a few seconds and it would be over. Afterwards Umemiya offered to cook some food on the roof, so Sakura really couldn’t complain.

Sakura never liked his picture taken, although it rarely ever happened anyways. In his old town it was probably for the wrong reasons. It wasn't like he had family photos or cute photos of him as a kid, at least from what he remembers. So he felt awkward now when pictures were taken because he never really learned how to pose for them. He lately went for a peace sign and hoped for the best, that seemed to work. Though these photos were fancier and they were going to be seen. These pictures were to remember what he and his classmates looked like.

Despite his initial awkwardness, the class photo went smoothly and it only took a few tries and some rearranging for everything to fall into place. Since it was a big group he didn't have to do much. Although, Sakura was beginning to feel anxious about the other photoshoot for the grade captains of class 1. He wanted to stay with his friends, but he figured he had to get the picture over with.

At the scheduled time he headed over to the photoshoot room. They all had to wear their school uniform and that was it for the dress code. When Sakura came into the room Kaji was already there. He seemed ready to get the photo over with, but Sakura was nervous.

Then his fears came true and what he heard made him double the nervousness he had before… Though it was just a comment like many he has heard. It should not have gotten to him but it did. It affirmed every insecurity that he was maybe feeling like he did not have to worry about and his heart sank. It hurt him because he thought he wouldn't have to feel that way at school.

“Split hair, is that what the kids are doing these days? That's a look.”

He then proceeded to have Sakura’s whole left side hidden by the angle. Kaji was right next to him with his headphones on and blasting so he wasn't hearing what the guy was saying. Sakura wondered if he would react. He knows Hiragi would, but he wasn't here for these pictures because he was getting them on his own.

“Hey could you tell your friend here to take off his headphones for the shoot.”

Sakura jumped a bit at being addressed by the photographer but nodded. He tapped Kaji on the shoulder and pointed to his ears. Kaji looked at him in irritation and then pulled his headphones off. Sakura pointed to the photographer.

“What is it?”

“Hi so if you could please remove your headphones for the shoot that would be appreciated. We just want the pictures to be professional.”

“I always wear these. So no, thanks.”

Kaji then puts them back on and tunes out everything again. Sakura admires how he spoke up against them. They continue to position them, having them shuffle to the left or right and adjusting the lighting until the photographer is satisfied.

The photographer mumbles, “it's just what to do with his hair.”

He seemed to be thinking out loud and debating ideas before he came to a conclusion. Sakura stood there watching it play out with disappointment. Kaji paid no mind to anything which was probably for the best.

“Could we get a hat on the young gentleman over here? It would make things much more cohesive.”

Had Sakura heard right? They were going to make him wear a hat for what? He hates hats. He hasn't even worn the one Anzai gave to him. Hats make him feel like there is something wrong with him when there isn't, but he isn't going to say anything to these fancy adults. He doesn't want to do the wrong thing.

The assistant comes back with 2 hats, a beanie and a baseball cap. The photographer points to the cap and the assistant lady then approaches Sakura with it. She moves to place it on his head but her hand is unexpectedly stopped by Kaji Ren.

He takes one headphone off and asks, “why are you doing that?” Then lets go of her hand which she quickly brings down.

The assistant repeats the photographer's words with a slight anxiousness in her voice, “just for cohesiveness.”

“We are fine how we are.”

In those moments Kaji’s words couldn't have been more comforting. Sakura is fine as he is.

The photographer sighs, “oh fine, I'll just take the photos, Naomi-san it's okay.”

The assistant walks away with the hats in her hands. The picture is quickly taken after. The whole affair lasted 5 minutes max but the damage had been done. Sakura hates hats. Well at least it wasn't the beanie, he hates those even more.

Kaji stands by the door of the room and then says, “you,” he points to Sakura, “let's go.”

Sakura isn't sure if it's a suggestion or an order but he doesn't have to be told twice. He quickly follows his senpai out of the room.

Sakura walks tentatively behind Kaji and waits for his reaction. He is not sure if his senpai is mad or upset and wonders why he had talked back to the photographers. Talking back to adults or older people was something Sakura knew not to do, especially if they were doing something to help you.

As they continue to walk down the hall Sakura gets more nervous. He doesn't know why he feels weird, but he doesn't know how his senpai is going to react. Finally they stop on the first floor of the school and they walk into a small vacant classroom.

Kaji sits down in one of the desk chairs and motions for Sakura to sit down, which he has no idea what for. He is jittery, this doesn't seem like a fight.

Kaji takes his headphones off and looks Sakura in the eyes, Sakura fidgets with his hands and looks down.

“Sakura…” Kaji starts seeming lost for words, “why didn't you say anything to the photographers?”

Oh. Sakura makes a confused face, “what do you mean?”

Kaji stays serious, “I mean why were you willing to do things you weren't comfortable with.”

Sakura gets red but doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what Kaji-senpai is upset about.

Kaji takes a frustrated breath, honestly he didn't think Sakura was the type to let people push him around. It caught him by surprise when he noticed how his kohai had changed around the photographers and the slight flinches he made as they walked around.

Sakura seems to get on the defense, “did I do something wrong or something?”

Kaji isn't good with words, but he tries to get his point across, “no. But you did do something stupid. If someone says something to you that makes you uncomfortable you should say something, to them, or me, or to anyone.”

“If this is about the hat thing it's no big deal. I would've been fine wearing it.” I'm used to it.

“What would have happened then if you said no?”

Sakura blinks, “uhm, I don't know”

Kaji goes for a different approach, “Do my headphones bother you?”

“No, I don't care if you wear those.”

“What about the music I play on them?”

Sakura feels weird being asked all these questions, “I don't get this.”

“How would you feel if I wore a blue sweater and not a white one?”

“It doesn't matter to me.”

“So why would anyone care if you said no to something you didn't want?”

Sakura felt slightly frustrated, he could think of many reasons why, “because what I want doesn't matter! Are you happy? I'm gonna go now.” Sakura gets up from the chair but Kaji grabs his hand and stops him.

Kaji is really messing up somewhere in this talk, Hiragi would've been better, anyone would have probably had a better approach… but he tries to think of ways to fix the conversation.

“Sakura, what you want matters. To all your friends, to me, probably to everyone that has met you in this town. So don't say that because it's wrong.”

Sakura sits back down feeling too many emotions to place,“wha- I don't get-”

Kaji then makes a somewhat awkward smile, “I was so mad at that photographer and that you let them say those things.”

“You heard all that?”

“I can read lips pretty well, but my music was off.”

Sakura doesn't know what to say, he just lets out an “oh.”

Kaji contemplates once more feeling a bit of passion, “No one should have to hide things that are a part of them.”

A silence follows, they both seem to take in the statement. Kaji then feels awkward, reaches in his pocket and grabs a spare lollipop and places it on the desk Sakura is sitting at.

Sakura looks at the lollipop and grabs it slowly, “thanks.”

“I'm also telling Umemiya-senpai that we should not use this photographer again, now let’s go get some food” he says as he gets up out of the chair and starts to walk off.

Sakura is still sitting down and watches as his senpai walks off putting his headphones back on and unwrapping a new lollipop for himself. He quickly trails behind him and thinks about their conversation. People keep surprising him with their care, care in which he can not make sense of.

He still does not understand why it would matter to Kaji-senpai if he put the hat on or not. He has never been the best in these kinds of situations. Though he does know that he feels a lot better than he had. He feels important and not alone.

When they get to the roof they both go their separate ways and branch off with their friends. Thankfully, no one brought the pictures up and Sakura spent the late afternoon relaxing with his class. Though his senpai was looking out for him more than he knew, a text was sent out to some of his friends and seniors to not bring up the photoshoot, which they had respected.

Out of the corner of Kaji’s eye, he could see Sakura cracking a slight smile. Takeshi puts a hand on his shoulder taking notice of how he is looking towards the first years.

“You did good Kaji.”

Kusumi nods in agreement.

Ren looks away, having mixed feelings about the praise, “I didn’t do much.”

“You did enough.”

Maybe he was gentler than he thought. He wonders what Sakura thinks of his behavior. He hopes that he helped a little, that maybe he could get through to him just a little.

Chapter Text

It was an average hangout between Suo, Sakura, and Nirei. The night was going to end with a movie that Nirei had been wanting to watch. They all sat together on the couch, gathered their things, and put the movie on. They were sharing a blanket and were close together in the darkness as the opening scene came on. Sakura sat in the middle, enjoying the warmth of the blankets and proximity of his friends. He did not care much for the movie in particular; he only wanted to spend time with them. Anything beats being alone in his house, and lately the warmth of a blanket never could fight off the cold.

The popcorn was passed around between them, mostly eaten by Sakura and the movie was going by as normal. At some point Nirei began to rest his head gently on Sakura's shoulder, and Suo scooted in even closer, pressing up against his side. Sakura could almost feel all of their breaths happening at the same time. They were in sync with each other, and it was all peaceful, until it wasn’t.

There were tensions rising between the characters in the movie, which was to be expected as it is a drama, but the characters began yelling—more specifically the parents at their child—and Sakura grew tense.

The father in the movie said something along the lines of, “No one will ever love you, especially not with the way you behave! You are a disgrace to our family!” 

Sakura knows the other two must have felt how he flinched at the scene, but he was not going to bring it up. That is until he started remembering all of the things that happened to him. The angry father was still talking on the TV, but the yelling seemed to be calming down. The damage was already done; Sakura had been reminded—and the memories were replaying in his head like they were fresh. 

The things around him felt like they were fading, and Sakura was beginning to feel lost. He put his hands on his lap, feeling the fibers of the blanket, and tried to relax; it was getting difficult. He then stands up quickly and plans to calm down in the bathroom. 

He blurts this out, “bathroom,” as he gets up and heads straight for the hall without looking back. 

In his absence Nirei and Suo share confused and worried glances. 

Nirei leans in and whispers, “It must have been the yelling on the TV. Sakura never likes when people yell.” 

Suo nods and agrees, “Yes, I've noticed that too. We should wait a moment and then see if he returns; if not, we can go check on him.” 

“What do we even say?” Nirei sighs, “Ugh, it's my fault… I should've remembered that movie had those weird scenes.” 

“It was an accident, and you couldn't have known that would happen. You wouldn't hurt us intentionally, and Sakura knows that.” 

“I guess so—I just feel bad.” 

“Well, you can always apologize, or just keep it in mind for next time. It's okay.” 

The two wait patiently—the movie is paused while they talk quietly—for 5 minutes. 

After that, Nirei gives in and knocks on the bathroom door. 

“Sakura-san, are you okay?” 

There is a silence before the door opens, and Sakura is face-to-face with Nirei. He looks okay, a bit more present; his expression is neutral before his eyes scan Nirei's concerned face. His face then softens before slightly blushing. Nirei takes a step back from the doorway so Sakura can leave, and Sakura looks over to Suo. Suo smiles at him like always; they must know he freaked out in the bathroom. 

Sakura wants something he can’t say from his friends so badly, but he is yet to work up the courage to try. While on the couch watching the movie, he had gotten close to making his move but then was startled before he could commit. Though after remembering some things he did not want to, Sakura, now more than ever, wants to ask.

“Yeah, I’m good. let's just continue the movie,” he says as he starts to walk back down the hall to the living area. 

Nirei has to think fast; he smirks; he knows just what to do.

“Wait, Sakura, my foot’s asleep. I don't want to walk back to the couch. It will hurt.” 

Sakura turns back around with an annoyed look on his face, which they know is not honest. 

Suo then catches on and chimes in, “Oh, Nirei, how horrible; you should have our magnificent grade captain carry you. How else will you make it back?” 

Sakura then leans down, sighing while motioning to Nirei, and Nirei jumps up onto his back. Sakura likes to carry people because he feels helpful. Though on a deeper level, he likes to be held onto, knowing that he is someone that person trusts. He has never gotten opportunities to even be trusted like this before. Every moment feels surreal in this town; even if he is warming up to it, there is always a part of him that doubts it’s real. 

Then, as quick as it happened, after no more than 10 seconds, Sakura plops Nirei down. Nirei no longer needs him. 

The movie made him feel weird, and it made him remember things he would rather forget forever. He wants to forget that place and even more the memories made there. He knows there is no way to do that, so he compensates with being a little selfish, maybe, but enjoying the time he has with his friends.

The warmth of being close to one another felt fleeting as the movie was concluding. Then Nirei scoots closer and rests his head against Sakura’s shoulder. Sakura normally flinches at these things, but he grudgingly admitted he likes to be touched a while back, and now his friends won't stop. Sakura is not able to lean in yet, but maybe one day he will. 

Suo takes this opportunity to face the other two and look away from the TV. He wants to ask questions. 

“Do you want to talk about how you’re feeling?” Suo asks. 

And maybe Sakura is finally ready to trust. He wants the words to come out. He wishes he could talk about everything, but he also is so scared. Even thinking about those things makes his heart pound; he can't imagine how talking would feel. 

He manages to respond, “Yeah, um, I—”

Nirei cuddles in closer, and Suo puts his hand on Sakura’s knee. 

“The yelling. It makes me feel bad so I needed to walk away, but I feel better now.” 

Suo looks at Nirei and then back at Sakura. “Alright, but feel free to say something next time. We can always skip those parts.” 

“Okay,” he says, feeling like someone else was speaking for him. 

Nirei chimes in, “You can always tell us when something upsets you even if it's small. We want to hear it.” 

Now that statement… Sakura doubted. He still has these fears that every word he says will be used against him. He still feels like there is someone out there that hates him, and there is, but he also feels guilty to keep having his friends remind him of their trust and care for him. 

“It’s not because I didn’t want to tell you.”

Suo lets out a small laugh, “Sakura, it’s okay, we know and we are going to keep reminding you how much we care whether you ask for it or not.” 

Nirei nods, and Sakura can not hold back the blush that takes over his face. Maybe he could cry… It feels surreal to be cared about from his closest friends to the strangers who wave and give him food in the street. 

“Thank you.”