Work Text:
The ocean waves lap at the rocks; once tall and heavy, eroded by time and the crushing embrace of the water. Sand, once littered with footsteps of people coming and going; smoothened by the soft hands of the sea, shaped and fitted back to what it was before. The seafoam, the crash of the waves, the sounds of drops hitting the surface. The night sky, dark and deep; sweetly caressing the skin with the winds blowing to and fro. The stars, they glitter like gems in the dark sky; beacons of hope, a yearning for a better time. The moon, oh my love; how I long to see you so. Your brilliance outshines all else, my light in this never-ending night...
And yet, I stay here. The dark, the deep, the abyssal reef; the dread I feel never quite lets me sleep. I yearn to see you again, be with you again. But fate is cruel, and would not have that; no matter my attempts… no matter the towers I build, nor the walls I break; no matter the drops of tears that form, nor the friends I once made… frozen though I once was; it never seemed to change, even now I feel the chill, the ache in my heart… for those soft warmer days.
The tower of frozen waves, my dear… I had built it… for you? No, that would be a lie; I was selfish, in my need to reach you I built this tower, this… failure. Attempt after attempt, floor after floor, and not once had I gotten any closer to you. Wave drop, it sits at the very top; waiting, as I once did. Praying, as I once did; for a chance, a glimmer of hope, a hint or sign, that perhaps… perhaps I will see you. That perhaps, I will be there, with you. That perhaps, we will sit, and we will sigh, and we will talk. Oh, how I long to talk. To you, my dear, to you, with you… with you, I wish to speak. To speak, my heart put to words, and those words given to you, to you whom I cherish with all my being. But there is no heart left. Not anymore. Not that I know of. Frozen I once was, thawed by the warm hearts of others around me. Yours, the warmest of all; your smile my only comfort in the frigid cold. And yet, I am of water, and water tends to freeze more than just once. No matter the salt in the oceans, or the currents and waves, water is water; and water will freeze.
The deeper I go, the darker it gets. I do not wish to go back. I long to see you, just once; but fate, she scares me. For too long I had tried and failed to reach you, my dear. For too long, fate had played me for a fool. “You idiot.” she’d whisper in my ears, the sharp sting of her words never dulling. “You idiot. You can’t possibly think you’d ever reach the sky, let alone the moon. You would be lucky to even get a wisp of the clouds.” I would try to ignore her, I really would dear. But her words cut like a siren sitting on the jagged rocks of the shore, luring sailors in with a promise of joy; and yet leaving nothing but pain and mourning in its wake. “You poor, poor, thing.” she’d coo; “you poor, poor, little thing. You must be so devastated. You are, right?” I am. “Aren’t you tired? Don't you just want to let go?” I am. I do. “Turn back to ice? Don’t you wish those fools had never found you? Never freed you? Never given you another chance?” She’s right. Sometimes I do wish I had stayed frozen. Never to think, never to mourn. Never to wish to be with you, dear. Fate’s hands are warm, inviting. A soft, gentle touch. Oh, but her nails. They are sharp, they bleed. It bleeds. When she is angry she is frigid, yet blistering. She scares me. I am scared. I am scared to try again, to go back, to see you. I am scared, and I am scarred. Would you love me, dear? The same way I love you? Would you hold me, let me be near you; you, who has the warmest heart of them all? Or would you cast me aside? Sneer at me, as fate does?
“You’re disgusting. You should’ve never come here.” Is that what you will say, if perhaps I ever reach you?
And so I will stay here. In the dark. In the deep. In the abyssal reef. In a place where the dread I feel never quite lets me sleep. I will stay here. Where your light does not reach. Where I am alone, and there is no one but me. I will stay here. Perhaps, I will wait. For someone to come help me, to come save me. Perhaps, I will wait for someone to come; and to sit with me. Perhaps them and I will wait together. Or perhaps, you will come. Perhaps, that will be for tomorrow. And tomorrow, and tomorrow, tomorrow and forever.
I will stay here, dear. Please forgive me. I have tried, and I have failed. Forgive me, and please… if nothing else, allow me to stay, and to love you from afar.