Chapter Text
The pale morning light slipped quietly through the blinds, painting soft stripes across the hotel room walls. Renjun stirred under his blanket, the familiar ache of sleep still clinging to his limbs. But as he blinked the blur from his eyes, his breath caught.
There—on the bed beside his—was Donghyuck, curled up in the warmth of early sun, his chest rising and falling in slow rhythm.
Renjun sat up slowly, brows furrowing. "Why are you here?" he asked, voice raspy from sleep. Haechan turned over lazily, one eye opening, a sly smile tugging at his lips. "I asked Jisung to switch rooms."
"Why?"
Haechan yawned, then murmured, "Because I sleep better next to you."
And just like that, Renjun’s heart forgot how to beat correctly. He looked away quickly, pretending to stretch as if that would cover the sudden heat rushing up his neck.
It was nothing.
Donghyuck always said things like that. He was that kind of person—warm, playful, endlessly affectionate. But to Renjun, every word, every glance, every smile from Donghyuck felt heavier, carved with meaning he wished were real.
*******
SMTOWN Rehearsal – Mexico City
The day moved on like nothing had changed. But something in Renjun felt off-kilter, like the Earth had shifted half an inch off its axis and no one else had noticed.
He sat at the back of the rehearsals stage, knees hugged loosely to his chest. The others were still chatting, playing around after rehearsals, letting their laughter bounce against the walls like light.
He tried to look casual, tried to blend into the background the way he always did when his feelings threatened to spill over.
Mark noticed, of course.
Mark always noticed.
Quiet footsteps approached, then stopped just beside him. Renjun didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
"You okay?" Mark asked, voice low, careful.
Renjun let out a small sigh, barely a breath. "Yeah," he said. "I’m okay." But then he added, softer — so soft that it was barely a whisper, as if he didn’t mean to say it out loud "But my heart isn’t."
Mark froze. Just for a second. But it was enough. Because he had hoped—stupidly, selfishly hoped—that maybe, just maybe, Renjun would one day look at him like that. That maybe the quiet glances and inside jokes and late-night ramen talks meant something more.
But now, Mark followed Renjun’s gaze.
And there he was.
Donghyuck.
He stood across the room, bathed in golden light like he was born for it. Laughing. Smiling that unmistakable smile, the one that felt like summer and childhood and heartbreak all at once.
And next to him, Karina—her long hair tied up, fingers lightly smacking Donghyuck’s arm as she teased him about something. They looked comfortable. Like they belonged in the same frame.
Like a picture Renjun wasn’t part of.
Renjun’s heart sank in that familiar way it always did when he realized he would never be enough. Not for Donghyuck. Not for someone like him, who made everyone in the room gravitate toward him without even trying.
Mark watched all of this in silence.
He didn’t say “I know how you feel.”
He didn’t say “I’ve been in love with you for months.”
He didn’t even say “You deserve someone who sees you.”
Instead, he just sat down next to Renjun and let the silence settle between them like a soft blanket, like comfort that didn’t need words.
Renjun didn’t look away. He couldn’t. His eyes stayed locked on Donghyuck, on Karina, on the way their shoulders touched and their laughter tangled like they’d done it a thousand times before.
And somewhere deep inside, something cracked. Quietly.
*******
The laughter started to fade, little by little, like the ending notes of a song. Donghyuck’s smile lingered a moment longer before he felt it—that strange pull, that shift in the air that made his skin prickle.
He looked across the room and saw them.
Renjun and Mark.
Sitting close, too close, tucked into a quiet corner like they were in their own world. Mark’s posture was slightly forward, protective almost. Renjun looked tired. Not physically, but soul-deep. His expression was unreadable, caught somewhere between sorrow and something else Donghyuck couldn’t name.
They were both looking at him. Not long. Not obviously. But enough.
Their gazes darted away as soon as he met them, but he saw it—just for a flicker.
Something was there.
He excused himself from Karina with a smile and a soft “be right back,” but his mind was already elsewhere. His steps were slow, unsure, like he was walking into a conversation he hadn’t been invited to.
Renjun didn’t notice him approaching at first. He was staring down at the floor like he’d lost something and didn’t know where to begin looking.
“Renjun,” Donghyuck called gently, his voice dipping lower than usual, more careful. “Hey, are you okay?”
Renjun finally looked up, startled by the voice, by him. Their eyes met—and in that exact moment, something in Donghyuck’s chest tensed.
Renjun’s eyes...
They were always warm, always glowing with quiet humor or calm mischief.
But now? They looked like they’d dimmed. Like something inside him had flickered out.
Before Renjun could answer, Mark stood up. “Don’t.”
Mark said firmly, stepping between them. His voice wasn’t angry—but it wasn’t soft either. It was protective. Drawn. Like a quiet warning.
Donghyuck blinked. “What?”
“Don’t bother Renjun right now,” Mark said again, not looking back. He gently reached for Renjun’s arm. “Come on, let’s get some air.”
Renjun hesitated—but only for a second. He stood, let Mark guide him away like he didn’t have the strength to refuse. They walked out together, leaving Donghyuck frozen in place.
Confused.
His eyes followed the door as it clicked shut behind them, and the question burned in his throat,
What just happened?
Why did Renjun look at him like that?
Why did Mark speak like he knew something Donghyuck didn’t?
And most of all..
Why did it hurt?
*******
Backstage was buzzing—stylists giving last-minute touch-ups, managers shouting over in-ear checks, laughter mixing with nerves and adrenaline.
The SM Family concert was moments away, and artists were already lining up behind the curtain, ready to flood the stage for the final wave and group celebration.
Donghyuck weaved through the narrow hall, glancing around quickly. “Have you seen Renjun?” he asked a staff member, barely slowing down.
The staff just shrugged, too busy adjusting someone’s mic. Donghyuck sighed and moved on.
Then, through the crowd, he spotted them. Mark and Renjun — already near the front of the line.
Renjun was fixing the corner of his stage jacket while Mark said something that made him give a small smile.
Nothing dramatic, nothing over-the-top. Just easy, quiet conversation. The kind that felt familiar.
Donghyuck sped up a little and reached them just as the call came — "Dream, follow 127 out after the beat drop!”
He stepped beside Renjun and nudged his elbow gently. “Hey. Walk with me?”
Renjun looked at him, surprised, then glanced back at Mark for a half-second before turning his gaze forward again. “I think I’ll stay here,” he said calmly, adjusting the mic pack at his hip.
Donghyuck paused. “Why?” he asked, not confrontational — just confused. Soft.
Renjun didn’t look at him. “No reason,” he said. “It’s just... already lined up this way.”
Mark didn’t say anything, but the quiet between the three of them lingered just a little longer than it should have. Then the music hit — the beat signaling their turn to run out, the lights already flashing beyond the curtain.
Mark gave Renjun a nudge, and the two moved forward together, fading into the spotlight.
Donghyuck stood there for a moment longer, watching their backs as they joined the chaos of cheers and cameras.
He didn’t chase. Didn’t say anything else. Just tugged down his sleeve, fixed his mic, and took a breath. Maybe it really was nothing. Maybe he was just imagining it.
But still, something felt off.
The concert was over.
The fans had screamed their voices hoarse, and the stage lights had finally dimmed.
Backstage now buzzed with tired laughter, selfies, and group photos being taken on every device imaginable. Makeup half-smudged. Shoes untied. Everyone glowing with sweat and adrenaline.
Donghyuck stood near the corner, drinking from a water bottle. He was staring blankly into the dressing mirror—not at his reflection, but through it.
That moment with Renjun earlier replayed in his head like a scratched CD.
He didn’t refuse him. He hadn’t even been cold. But there was a space between them now. A kind of distance that Donghyuck hadn’t known was there until he reached for him and realized Renjun wasn’t reaching back.
“Donghyuck"
He turned.
Jaemin and Jeno stood behind him, still in their stage outfits, Jaemin’s hair sticking to his temple in small wet strands. Both had that usual look of knowing something—except this time, it felt more serious than their usual teasing energy.
“You good?” Jaemin asked. “You look like you saw a ghost.”
“I’m fine,” Haechan said automatically, trying to smile, but Jeno didn’t let it slide. “Be honest, please” Jeno said, arms crossed. “Don’t be like Renjun. Something’s weird with Renjun lately and he doesn’t want to tell us”
That made Haechan’s brow twitch. “What do you mean?”
Jaemin leaned in a bit, lowering his voice even though there was enough noise around to drown them out. “He and Mark have been kinda… close. Right? Since rehearsals in Seoul.”
Donghyuck blinked.
“Like,” Jaemin continued, “close close.”
There was a beat of silence.
“You think they’re dating?” Jeno asked. Haechan’s lips parted, the words stuck. “No— I mean, I don’t know. Renjun and Mark? Really?”
Jaemin raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t notice?”
Donghyuck scoffed lightly. “Notice what? They’ve always been friends.”
“Yeah,” Jaemin said. “But not like this. Not the whole ‘disappear during breaks, whispering stuff, walking together behind everyone’ kind of close.”
“And Mark,” Jeno added, “he’s soft with Renjun in every way possible”
Donghyuck stared at them, mind spinning slightly. Confused. “You’re saying Mark likes Renjun?”
Jaemin gave a little shrug. “Honestly, I thought you knew. I thought everyone knew. Mark’s been into him for ages.”
Donghyuck’s stomach twisted slightly. He wasn’t sure why it hit him like that. It shouldn’t matter. It really shouldn’t. But somehow, it did.
Mark?
Mark who always had Renjun’s back, who always listened to him quietly, who always stood just a little closer than necessary when Renjun was upset.
He had noticed those things before. He just hadn’t seen them.
“Wow,” Haechan said softly. “So Mark likes Renjun?”
“Mmhm,” Jaemin said, eyeing him. “You okay?”
Donghyuck looked away, pretending to adjust the towel on his shoulder.
“Yeah,” he lied. “Totally fine.”
But inside, his thoughts were spinning.
Because if Mark loved Renjun, then what was he feeling?
*******
The hotel that night was quiet in that tired, post-concert way — everyone drained, some still eating takeout, others already collapsed into their pillows. Lights dimmed in the hallways.
Donghyuck stood outside Room 825, staring at the screen of his phone.
[00.01]
Donghyuck:
Yangie, can we switch rooms just for tonight?
I have something to talk about with Renjun.
There was no reply for a while. Just the three dots typing, disappearing, reappearing.
Then finally,
[00.10]
Yangyang:
If you’re gonna confess or cry or whatever, please don’t do it on my bed.
Also…
Take care of him, okay?
He seems off.
Donghyuck let out a breath, something between a sigh and a nervous laugh. He texted back a quick thanks and knocked softly before opening the door with the extra card Yangyang left for him at the front desk.
The room was quiet.
One bed was already in a mess, a suitcase open but neat. The bathroom light was on, and the sound of the shower running filled the space with soft steam and echo.
Donghyuck’s heart pounding harder than he expected.
He hadn’t planned this well. Just knew he needed to see him. Talk to him. Figure out what was happening before things slipped further away.
The bathroom door finally opened with a quiet click.
Renjun stepped out, hair damp, towel slung over his shoulder, hoodie thrown on lazily. He was drying his face with a small towel when he looked up — and froze.
“What—” Renjun blinked. “Why are you here?”
Donghyuck stood awkwardly by the desk, shifting from one foot to the other. “Uh… I’m here to sleep with you tonight.”
Renjun frowned. “Where’s Yangyang?”
“He switched with me.” Donghyuck shrugged, trying to keep it casual. “I asked him.”
Renjun’s expression didn’t shift. If anything, it became unreadable. “Why?”
Donghyuck hesitated for a second before speaking. “Because I wanted to talk to you. I… miss you.”
Renjun blinked slowly, clearly not expecting that.
“You’ve been acting strange lately,” Donghyuck continued, softer now. “I didn’t know if it was something I did, or if you were avoiding me on purpose. And maybe I’m overthinking, but I just… I don’t know. I miss how we used to talk. Laugh. Be… close.”
Renjun walked to the edge of the bed and sat down, towel still in his hand. He looked down at the floor as he spoke.
“I’m okay,” he said, voice calm but distant. “You don’t have to worry.”
Donghyuck took a step closer, then stopped. “You always say you’re okay.”
“Because I am,” Renjun said quietly, still not meeting his eyes. “I just needed space, that’s all.” There was a pause. The hum of the hotel air conditioner filled the silence.
“From me?” Donghyuck asked.
Renjun didn’t answer right away.
“…Not just you,” he finally said. “From everything.”
That was the moment when Donghyuck realized that this wasn’t just about the last few days. Something had been building inside Renjun for a while, quietly. He just hadn’t noticed it until the silence grew too loud to ignore.
The hotel room had grown quieter. The kind of quiet that only happens when everything loud has passed — after the concert, after the noise, after the truth has been spoken out loud.
Renjun sat cross-legged on the bed, scrolling half-heartedly through his phone.
Donghyuck was still on the other bed, arms behind his head now, eyes on the ceiling, but his mind miles away.
After a moment, he spoke again.
“Can I ask you something else?"
Renjun looked up. “You already are.”
Donghyuck let out a small breath of a laugh. “Right.”
He turned his head to the side so he could look at Renjun properly. His voice dropped just a little, hesitant. “How long have you known that Mark… felt that way about you?”
Renjun shrugged, his expression neutral. “Not that long. I had a feeling, I guess. But he only said something recently.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
Renjun looked at him, frowning just slightly. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“No, I mean…” Donghyuck trailed off, struggling to find the right words. “I don’t know. I guess it just surprised me.”
He paused.
“I’ve known Mark for so long. We’ve done everything together. All of us. And still… I didn’t know.”
Renjun stayed quiet, watching him.
“I didn’t know he was gay,” Haechan added softly. “Or bi, or whatever. I didn’t even think about it.”
There was no bitterness in his voice — just a quiet sadness. A realization that made him feel a little small, like he’d missed something important right in front of him.
Renjun’s voice was gentle. “You’re not supposed to know everything, Donghyuck.”
“Yeah, but…” Donghyuck sighed. “It just makes me feel like I’m not as close to you guys as I thought I was.”
Renjun smiled faintly. “You’re close. Probably the closest.”
Donghyuck looked at him again, but this time there was something quieter in his gaze. Something unsure.
Then, like a shadow passing over a light, a flicker of something else slipped into his chest —something sharp and unfamiliar.
Jealousy?
He didn’t want to call it that. It felt too serious, too heavy, too exposed.
But when he thought of Mark telling Renjun how he felt — When he thought of Renjun possibly saying yes someday — When he pictured the two of them, close in a way he wasn’t.
Something inside him ached.
He didn’t understand it yet. Not fully. He just knew it made his throat feel tight, and the air in the room feel heavier than before.
Renjun looked back at his phone, missing the way Donghyuck stared just a little too long.
And Donghyuck?
He lay back down, eyes on the ceiling again, heart suddenly too loud in his own chest. He didn’t know what he felt.
But for the first time…
He wanted to.
The air between them was calm again, but not quite the same. Donghyuck turned on his side to face Renjun, who was still sitting at the edge of the bed, arms loosely wrapped around his knees, phone forgotten beside him.
There was a pause, long enough to make the words feel heavier than he intended.
“If there’s really nothing… you know, complicated between us,” Donghyuck said carefully, “can we just go back to how we were?”
Renjun blinked, looking at him with tired eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Donghyuck hesitated, then smiled, soft and a little sad. “We’ve always been close, right? I miss that version of us. The way we used to be.”
Renjun felt something sting quietly in his chest.
A part of him wanted to say yes easily, like he always did — throw out a joke, push Donghyuck’s shoulder and laugh it off.
But it wasn’t that simple anymore.
He had spent too long trying to kill feelings he never asked for. Falling in love with your best friend wasn’t some dramatic heartbreak — it was slow, quiet, something that cracked you from the inside.
Still, he gave Donghyuck a nod, voice low and careful.
“Yeah… We’re fine. I’ve just been tired, that’s all.”
Donghyuck smiled, relieved. “Cool. Then let’s go back to normal.”
Renjun smiled back. But in his chest, the words echoed painfully.
This is what it feels like, isn’t it? To love someone who will never love you back. And still sit beside them like it doesn't break you.
*******
The next morning.
DUK! DUK! DUK!
“YAH! WAKE UP! DONGHYUCK! RENJUN!” Chenle’s voice echoed through the door, followed by loud knocking. “We’re leaving in two hours. LA, remember?”
Inside, Donghyuck groaned loudly into his pillow.
Renjun rubbed his eyes and threw a slipper in the general direction of the door. “I swear he gets louder every city,” Renjun mumbled.
They laughed sleepily, stretching in sync like they always did after a long night. No tension. No drama. Just two boys in hotel slippers brushing their teeth side-by-side, hair messy, eyes half-closed, pretending they didn’t say heavy things the night before.
By the time they were on the van to the airport, they were back to teasing each other over breakfast, nudging shoulders, fighting over who got the window seat. At least on the surface, everything seemed normal.
They were seated next to each other on the van, headphones tangled between them, sharing half of a playlist while the rest of the members settled into scattered seats.
From across the row, Mark glanced over.
He watched them — heads leaning close, laughing quietly over something on Renjun’s phone, like nothing was ever wrong between Donghyuck and Renjun.
But he noticed the shift. The way Renjun smiled a little more carefully now. How he no longer looked at Donghyuck when he thought no one was watching.
After a while, Mark leaned forward, lowering his voice. “You okay?”
Renjun turned, just slightly. “Yeah,” he said.
Mark studied him. “You sure?”
Renjun looked back out the window, eyes calm. Peaceful, almost. “Yeah,” he repeated. “I’m okay now.”
And he meant it.
Because he had already given up the part of him that wanted more. He let go of the wish that maybe, someday, Donghyuck would see him differently.
He had learned how to carry love quietly — The kind of love that doesn’t ask to be returned. Because they were bandmates. And best friends. And that had to be enough.
***
SMTOWN Rehearsal – Los Angeles
The sound of footsteps echoed through the massive arena as dancers and idols moved to their positions. LED screens glitched through testing visuals, mics buzzed with feedback, and stylists adjusted last-minute things on the sidelines. It was controlled chaos.
Renjun stood quietly near center stage, stretching his arms as the others joked around. His eyes flickered over the crowd, not really looking for anything—until he saw them.
Karina was standing close to Donghyuck, laughing at something he was saying, his bright smile lighting up the entire space. He wasn’t even doing anything special — just being himself. Warm. Playful. Magnetic.
It shouldn’t hurt.
He told himself he let go.
But it still stung.
Renjun turned away just as his chest tightened. It was small. Silent. But it was there. And Chenle, always watching without needing to be told, slipped behind him and wrapped his arms gently around his waist. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered into Renjun’s shoulder.
Renjun didn’t answer — just nodded once, his lips pressing into a thin smile.
When the music started, they all snapped into motion. Renjun took his usual spot — and as always, Mark stood right beside him, close enough to catch him if he stumbled. Like he always did. A quiet anchor.
He didn’t say anything. Just gave Renjun a look, steady and calm, and that was enough. Enough to get him through the song.
By the time they break, Donghyuck sat near the edge of the stage, water bottle pressed to his cheek. Mark sat beside him, wiping sweat from his neck.
“Can I ask something?” Donghyuck said suddenly.
Mark looked over. “Sure.”
“I feel kinda bad,” Donghyuck began, staring down at the bottle in his hands. “That I didn’t know. About you… liking Renjun.”
Mark stayed quiet.
“I mean,” Donghyuck continued, “I’m not mad. I just… Why didn’t you tell me? Did everyone know except me?”
Mark let out a soft breath. “Not everyone. But yeah… other dream members probably figured it out a while ago.”
Donghyuck turned to him. “Why not me?”
Mark smiled faintly. “Because you’re always the last to know when it’s about feelings, Hyuck.”
Donghyuck huffed. “Fair.”
There was a pause, and then Mark added gently, “Also… I’m not really gay"
Donghyuck blinked. “You’re not?”
Mark shook his head. “No. I’m just… gay for Renjun. There’s a difference.”
Donghyuck frowned, confused. “It makes no difference."
Mark smiled, more sincerely this time. “It is for me. It’s like… with Renjun, everything’s easy. Familiar. Right. I don’t feel that way about anyone else — not guys, not girls. Just him.”
He glanced across the stage, where Renjun was chatting softly with Jeno, cheeks flushed from rehearsal. “You know Jeno and Jaemin?” Mark said. “They spent ten years being scared to say it out loud. Ten years of pining and pretending. Now look at them. Happy. Real. I guess it’s like that.”
Donghyuck was quiet for a moment.
Mark looked back at him. “You’re still straight, right?”
“Of course,” Donghyuck said quickly. “I mean… I like Karina.”
Mark nodded. “Then let me ask you something.”
Donghyuck turned.
“Is it okay,” Mark said slowly, “if I date Renjun?”
The question landed heavier than Donghyuck expected. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.
Like something inside him was shifting but hadn’t figured out what it meant yet.
“Renjun told me he wants to try,” Mark continued, quietly. “He said he’s willing — as long as you’re okay.”
Donghyuck furrowed his brow. “Why me?”
Mark looked at him steadily. “Because he cares what you think. You told him, remember? That he should tell you everything, so you wouldn’t feel left out. So he wouldn’t start hiding things.”
Donghyuck swallowed hard. “Right…”
Mark tilted his head, soft but serious. “So. Are you okay with it?”
Donghyuck stared at the stage floor, fingers tightening just slightly around his bottle. He didn’t feel angry. Or betrayed. Or sad.
He just felt… hollow.
Like someone had picked something up from inside him and walked away with it. But still, he said, “…Okay. If that’s what Renjun wants.”
Mark gave him a long, thoughtful look — then nodded once. “Thanks for being honest.”
Donghyuck didn’t reply. Just nodded slowly, staring ahead.
He told himself it was fine.
It had to be fine.
Even if he didn’t understand why it suddenly felt like something inside him was missing.
*******
The rehearsal had wrapped. The members were grabbing water, changing shoes, pulling off sweat-dampened shirts as the staff started packing up for the day.
Mark quietly approached Renjun, catching his wrist with a gentle touch. “Come with me for a sec?” he asked.
Renjun followed him without a word.
They stepped out into a quiet corner of the stadium — dim lights overhead, the echo of the arena behind them slowly fading into distance.
Mark looked at him, a small smile on his lips. “He said yes.”
Renjun already knew.
He knew Donghyuck would say yes.
That he would smile, play it cool, pretend it was all good — even if it hurt him. Even if it didn’t. Even if he didn’t know what it meant yet.
But hearing it confirmed still made something inside Renjun twist. So this was it. The moment he would really have to let go of the what-ifs.
The stupid, hopeless part of him that still looked at Donghyuck like he could one day look back.
He gave Mark a small nod, his voice quiet. “Okay, hyung…”
A breath. A pause.
“…Let’s date.”
Mark’s smile widened just a little, warm and sincere. He reached out and gently took Renjun’s hand.
And just like that — they were together.
*******
It started quietly. Jisung walked in on Renjun holding Mark’s hoodie and smiling too softly to be casual.
Chenle noticed how Mark was suddenly at Renjun’s side a little more than usual, fingers brushing his when he passed him a drink.
Within a few hours, it spread.
Jeno blinked. Jaemin grinned knowingly. Donghyuck overheard it from Jaemin’s half-whispered, “Good for them, finally.”
And just like that — the Dream members knew.
And they were happy. Truly. Warm congratulations, teasing jokes, inside smiles. Like they had been waiting for it to happen.
“Dream’s in their dating era now,” Jisung laughed. “What’s next, me and Chenle?”
Chenle choked on his tea. “Please no.”
Even in the laughter, there was warmth. No weirdness. No distance.
And Lee Donghyuck, king of teasing, king of loud opinions — smiled and played along.
He said, “Finally, our main character couple,” He nudged Renjun and winked. He high-fived Mark.
But later, when the room got quiet, and the laughter turned into sleep, Donghyuck lay alone in bed staring at the ceiling — and felt like throwing up.
Not because he was mad.
Not because he didn’t like them together.
But because he didn’t understand why it made his stomach twist in a way that Karina never did.