Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

when you were eight years old, your mother took you to the beach.

you remember it in flashes, brief glimpses of a past rapidly fading from memory. the soft, warm sand beneath your bare feet. the sound of waves crashing against the shore, followed by the call of a seagull flying overhead. the smell of salt in the sea breeze, a crisp freshness to the air surrounding you. and of course, the crystal clear blue waters, so clear in fact, that you could see seashells buried beneath the earth and small creatures scuttling across.

it was your first time experiencing something so surreal and magical. as you stood there, watching the push and pull of the ocean and the surrounding greenery, it didn't feel like korea at all. it felt like you'd been transported to a new world, a different plane of existence.

a new dimension.

your mother used to tell you a story. how there existed different universes similar to your own. the contrasting details could be as small as preferring vanilla over chocolate or as big as living an entirely different life. the border between wealth and poverty, life or death.

she believed that there was a place where all these realities intersected. a crossroads of sorts, where one could travel between one or the other. she described this space as one not so easily identifiable. where it's hard to distinguish between dream and reality, the line blurred just enough to make one question whether they walk along their own universe or towards someplace just slightly altered.

when you were young, you remember listening intently to the tales she spun, awed by the prospect of crossroads and timelines. you began to question, to what extent can you shift the trajectory of a life to the point of creating an alternative world? what are the limits to the amount of realities conjured by just the smallest change?

and in this web of seemingly endless possibilities, is there any characteristic that remains constant? one that lives beside your own existence?

something like a soulmate?

"have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted?"

"no, but i once got very close."

in the aftermath of an uncontrollable fire and the death of your parents, your life is not an easy one to navigate. trying to juggle the responsibilities of working odd jobs to pay the bills and raising your younger sister is a role you don't feel capable of performing. it was thrust upon you with little to no warning, and in the midst of your struggles, there's no escaping poverty and the exhaustion settled deeply in your bones.

but life only gets harder when your sister falls ill, and an unexpected visit to the hospital reveals a chronic illness that could kill her if left untreated. but you can't afford both the cost of treatment and the bills of your small apartment. you're barely scraping by as it is. how are you supposed to come up with nearly seventy million won by the end of the month?

you decide you need money, and fast.

so when a man approaches you with a rather strange offer, you find yourself unable to turn it down. not when your sister's life is on the line. not when on the surface, it seems so simple. play to win, and all your problems are solved.

but these games are not what you expected. there's something sinister hidden in the bright colors and childhood activities. death lurks around the corner, getting closer and closer with each round you pass. these games test your morality, revealing just how far people are willing to go when driven by greed. when they have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

in the midst of your inter turmoil and conflicted values is a girl.

kang sae-byeok makes it clear from the beginning that she doesn't trust anyone. she's cold and guarded, the kind of player that's best to stay away from. but you can't ignore the pull you feel towards her, drawn to the color of her eyes and the freckles across her face. it's intangible, the string connecting you both, stretching across a time and history you don't quite understand. yet, you can't deny the abnormal sensations that have formed since the moment you met he. like you can feel her heart beating alongside your own, aware of every pain that addles her bones and breaks down her body.

and you know kang sae-byeok feels it, too. why else does she linger like a shadow in your presence? as if she, too, is pulled by something that cannot be explained. a phenomenon bigger than yourselves, bigger than the world, bigger than the universe.

as the people around you test the limits of their morality, driven by avarice, you begin to wonder.

how far are you willing to go to win?

Chapter Text

life seems to go by in a blur of every sensation your body is capable of receiving.

you see the constant motion of passing cars and urgent, hurried pedestrians. you smell the blend of various dishes, spices and sweets packed into small containers. you feel the rush of the wind, the sweltering heat beating down upon you each time you step foot outside, traveling along the roads. and you hear the chorus of honking horns and raised voices, both sharp and demanding.

working for a delivery company comes with its pros and cons. for one, continuously running from place to place both on your scooter and on your feet keeps you busy, so the work day gives the illusion of ending much quicker than it usually would.

on the downside, it's exhausting.

sometimes, it feels like you never get a moment to take a pause and breathe. the second you think you've found an opportunity to stop, another task comes in, and you're forced to get back on your feet and travel to the next location, fulfilling the next order.

it's a wonder you haven't fallen over and dropped dead with the amount of hours you spend in motion. at the rate you're going, passing out from heat exhaustion or failing to take proper care of yourself doesn't seem so far off in the future. and with the way your boss seems to think basic needs like taking a break and staying hydrated are foreign concepts not necessary for survival, the end only seems to loom closer than before.

"yah," your boss shouts from the other side of the building, causing you to pause at the doorway of the employee room. you had planned on relaxing in there until your lunch was over, but it seems like your boss has other plans. you take a deep breath, pushing down your irritation and fixing your expression before turning towards him with a questioning look. he nods his head towards the exit, "another order just came in. go ahead and take it."

you frown, swiftly pulling out your phone to check the time. you thought you must've been mistaken, having grown too excited about the idea of taking a short nap, but sure enough, the hour indicates that it's time for your much deserved break, "but it's time for my lunch."

"do the order first and then take a break." he demands, leaving no room for arguments. he turns and beings occupying himself with some paperwork to further signify the end of the conversation. 

still, you're desperate, taking a step towards the man, "but ajusshi," you plead, growing frustrated when he barely lifts his head, practically ignoring you, "it's gonna take me thirty minutes just to pick it up. i don't have that kind of time to spare."

"then you better leave now." he snaps, dismissing you with a lazy wave of his hand. even then, he doesn't split his attention, eyes remaining rooted to the documents before him.

just how insignificant are you to him?

you grumble several curses under your breath as you hop onto your scooter, tugging your helmet on rather aggressively before going on your way. if you didn't need this job to help pay the bills, you'd have quit a long time ago. not only is your boss a jerk, but the benefits suck, and he has a tendency of taking a percentage of your pay for the littlest things. inconveniences that barely matter at all, like arriving just a second too late or using your break during rush hour, which he claims makes him lose business.

just as you predicted, it takes about half an hour for you to pick up the food from the restaurant, and it takes another thirty minutes to arrive to the drop off location. your scooter rolls to a stop outside a large building with a sign that says off track betting. based on the amount of people coming in and out of the various entrances, a big race must have occurred recently. you slip off your helmet, swiftly check the instructions left by the customer, then hop off.

once your vehicle is parked and the food is secured in your arms, you enter the building, nearly bumping into two men smoking cigarettes along the way. you mumble a swift apology, then continue inside, glancing around the crowded space. you repeatedly check your phone, communicating with the person on the other end to try and find each other a little easier.

"yah! over here!" someone shouts, the loud, grating sound causing you to snap your head up. as you swiftly scan your surroundings, you finally spot a person across the room, waving their hands frantically. you assume a light jog, bowing deeply as you present the bag of food.

"what the fuck took you so long?" the man grunts, snatching the contents out of your hands. you blink, swallowing hard as you straighten.

"i'm sorry sir," you mumble, lowering your eyes, unable to bring yourself to meet his sharp stare, "it's just that the pick up location was pretty far from here, and traffic is pretty bad at this hour." you explain, wringing your hands anxiously in front of you. you flinch slightly when he mumbles a low curse, curling his lips into a sneer.

"my food better not be cold. if it is, i'm asking for a refund."

if it were your friend ji-yeong experiencing this blatant rudeness, she'd have retorted with something snarky, fighting back against the mistreatment falling upon her. but you're not ji-yeong, and you're definitely not the type of person to confront a situation bound to escalate no mater the outcome. even if it's well deserved. even if you end up suffering in the long run.

it's just easier that way. living in the shadows. watching life slip past. safer. 

you're the type to bite your tongue, maintaining peace rather than letting things blow up into the sort of damage you can no longer control.

"i'm sorry sir." you mumble, bowing once more before retreating.

you release a weary sigh, tiredly running a hand through your hair. it's not the first time a customer has blamed you for something that clearly wasn't your fault, but you've learned that it's easier to just listen to them rather than explain the situation. people like thinking they are right even if that's not always the case.

you check your phone, noting that a full hour has passed. normally, you'd be done with your break by now, and you'd be eager to jump back into motion to finish off the rest of your shift. but considering the loss of time, perhaps it would be better to continue on working rather than waste another hour loitering around.

coming to a decision, you pocket your phone, then begin navigating around each person in the crowd. the faces you pass by blur before your eyes, each characteristic blending into the other, barely distinguishable. to you, they are just humans you briefly encounter in your life, destined to fade into the background and disappear the second the moment has passed.

and yet, one person seems to stand out amongst the sea of unremarkable features.

you turn your head slightly, met with the sight of a girl shifting pass. she tilts her face in your direction almost in tandem to your own, which causes your eyes to lock with one another, just briefly. and as you're faced with the darkest pair of brown eyes you've ever seen, time seems to slow down into a stop.

a multitude of things occur within that singular, stretched out second. in the stall of time, the stillness of the clock, you find yourself drinking in the details laid out before you, resulting in certain unexplainable effects inside different parts of your body. 

her hair is unruly, the curls messy and short, wispy bangs laying delicately against her forehead and around her eyes. it makes your breath catch a little in your throat, struck with the urge to run your fingers through the waves, to note the way it resist and yields beneath your touch. 

the shade of her eyes are so intense you feel as if you can drown in them, swimming within the depths of the emotion she holds within, pliant beneath her consideration. a flare of heat ignites within your body, curling in the space between your lungs, licking up to the apple of your cheeks and the tip of your ears. 

and the most striking feature of all, the one that makes your stomach twist slightly in what you can only scribe as nerves, is the splash of freckles against her nose and cheeks, stark against her pale skin. there are hundreds of them, some more prominent than others, creating shapes and stories that you could trace with the tip of your finger. 

time resumes to its normal passing when she glances away, ending the brief encounter. even so, you find yourself stopping, unable to help the way your body angles to face her own, staring at her retreating form. the most prominent emotion arising in your chest is curiosity, drawn in by her presence. it's obvious she wants to blend in with the crowd, but amongst the sea of people, you only notice her. 

there's another story your mother used to tell you. about how there's people in your life that are meant to exist simultaneously to your own. stars meant to orbit one another, souls that are drawn to each other in inexplainable ways.

you wonder if this girl is one of those people.

but you don't get to dwell on the thought any further, for pretty soon, she's out of sight, and you must continue on your own path set out before you.

-

chaos erupts as soon as you step through the door leading into your small, run down apartment.

a small child zooms around the furniture, a squeal of laughter produced within her tiny frame. you barely have time to react before her hurried footsteps come to an abrupt halt when she crashes into you, clinging to your leg like a monkey to a tree.

"well hello there." you laugh, grunting with the effort it takes to lift your leg. a pair of large eyes, the same color as your own, peer up at you, paired with a large, toothy smile.

"unnie! welcome home!" your sister quips in response, falling into uncontrollable giggles when you begin stumbling further into the room. her hold around your limbs stays as firm as ever, forcing you to drag both your body weights combined. by the time you enter the living room, you're slightly winded, and your muscles scream slightly in protest by the heavy weight you had to lug around.

your attention shifts towards another individual occupying space within your home, a girl around your age kneeling in front of a small table. the surface is cluttered with scattered game pieces and discarded cards, pieces in which she tidies up rather lazily, focused more on clearing the table as fast as possible rather than doing so in an orderly fashion.

ji-yeong glances up at the sound of your approaching footsteps, sending you a lazy grin. you return it with a small smile of your own.

"thank you for watching her." you mumble gratefully, feeling like you can relax for the first time since the day has started. if you didn't have ji-yeong in your life, you'd have no way of taking care of your little sister while providing for your small family financially as well. even though your life is heavy with burdens, she helps ease it, even if it's simply the peace of mind that comes with knowing that she's taken care of while you work.

"no problem. me and the little squirt had fun, right?" ji-yeong asks, glancing at your sister over her shoulder.

she nods her head rapidly, "yup! we played board games."

"did you win?" you question, running your fingers tenderly through her hair. at your inquiry, her large smile is replaced by a dramatic pout. lips puckered out, eyebrows knit together, eyes wide and glimmering in what you easily catch as false hurt.

"she didn't let me." she mumbles, tone coated in the same faux emotion.

"hey, it's called a life lesson. not everyone is gonna let you win. i'm building character." ji-yeong responds, slightly offended by the way your sister called her out on what she deemed as unfair treatment. she stands up, crossing over to where you stand by the edge of the room.

your sister quickly ditches the performance, squeezing her eyes shut as she sticks her tongue out at ji-yeong. your friend simply mirrors the expression, reacting more like a child than the young adult she is.

you shake your head, slightly amused by the interaction. ji-yeong and your sister always behave like this. sometimes, you feel like you're taking care of two children opposed to just one. but there's an upside to her personality. she knows exactly how to make your sister laugh, how to keep her entertained no matter the situation, and how to keep her out of trouble.

ji-yeong is the first to break their tiny quarrel, laughing as she leans forward and ruffles your sister's head. she squeals in protest, halfheartedly swatting her hands away to no avail. in order to escape ji-yeong's lighthearted bullying, she stands up, then scurries off to her room.

you follow ji-yeong's movements as she steps towards the doorway, beginning to pull on her shoes, "you off to work?"

"yup. i got a shift at the restaurant, then at the bar right after."

you lean against the wall opposite to where she stands, crossing your arms as you shoot her a pointed look, "don't stay out too late."

"yes mom." she mocks, stepping just out of range when you swat at her playfully. she laughs, then slips out of the door with a wave. 

"unnie! unnie!" your sisters voice prompts you to enter the kitchen, where she sits on one of the chairs at the table. her legs, not quite long enough to reach the floor, swing excitedly as she holds up a piece of paper, "look! it's us!"

you inspect two stick figures configured by a purple crayon, each one resembling her, yourself, and ji-yeong. they all hold specific characteristics that help distinguish between one another, like how one is smaller than the other two, and ji-yeong's drawing contains her short hair and bangs.

"wow, that's really good." you marvel, your praise instantly making her brighten. she lowers the paper, then proceeds to pick up another crayon to fill in the blank space with flowers and hearts.

as she's occupied by the task, you get to work making dinner for the two of you. you open the fridge, frowning at the lack of food sitting inside. you lean forward, inspecting all the containers. definitely not enough to make a full meal. you consider ordering in, but delivery fees could be expensive these days, and it'd probably be better to just go to the grocery store. you make a mental note to visit tomorrow after work.

dinner ends up consisting of a variety of dishes, not enough to be eaten on their own, but assembled together makes it somewhat fulfilling. left over kimchi, one serving of tofu soup, and a strange dish consisting of vegetables, noodles and a sauce you created out of whatever spices you could find. it tasted alright when you tried it, so you deemed it edible enough to serve.

as you sit at the table, eating your food, your sister chatters on like a machine programmed to do nothing but talk. her words are rushed and excited, asking a million questions that demand to know every single thing that happened within your day.

still, even if her non-stop stream of words makes your head spin, there's no doubt that she's the joy of your life.

ever since your parents died a couple years ago, it's been just you and her. taking on the responsibility of caring for a child when you were still one yourself was hard, but you wouldn't trade it for the world. if you could go back and be presented with the same choice, you'd choose the same outcome over and over again just to get a glimpse of her smile and keep her bright presence by your side.

"unnie, i'm done." she announces, dropping her chopsticks.

"was it good?" you ask, gesturing to the empty bowl of soup and the plate cleared of all her food.

"yup!" she shouts, before lowering her voice to a soft, shy mumble, "i'm still hungry though..."

you smile, pulling her plate closer as you pile the remainder of your food on top, "here, you can have the rest of mine. i ate at work."

"thank you!" she grins, excitedly digging in the moment it's pushed back in her direction. you tsk lightly when she eats more messily and rushed than before, scolding her to take her time. you pick up a napkin and wipe her face, ignoring her protests.

when the dishes are cleared and washed, you follow her into the bathroom, where you set up a bath of warm water and a small amount of bubbles. technically, she's old enough to wash up on her own, but she insists that you sit there with her, talking through the curtain and singing songs together. unable to say no, and truly wanting to spend as much time with her as possible, you perch yourself on the lid of the toilet, entertaining whatever antics she comes up with for the night.

when she's clean and dry, dressed in oversized pajamas that used to belong to you, you sit her down on the edge of the bed, your own body right behind her. your movements are gentle and careful as you run a brush down her hair, disentangling the knots and running your fingers across her scalp. the motions always put her to sleep, even if she tries so hard to fight it. but no matter how much she attempts to stay awake, there's no denying the way her eyes flutter close, the amount of time they remain shut growing longer and longer with each drowsy blink.

by the time you dry it with the blow dryer and tuck her in, sleepy yawns are slipping past her lips. and the moment you lean forward and press a soft kiss against her forehead, mumbling a goodnight, shifting back reveals her peaceful, slumbering state.

you stare at her for a moment, pressing your fingers tenderly across her cheeks, feeling your love for her grow with every passing second. life is hard, but she makes it easier, even if she doesn't know it.

-

late into the night, when all is still and quiet, your world falls apart like the shattering of glass.

the first crack appears when you startle awake, struck with the uneasy feeling that something was wrong, very wrong. you glance around in the dark, trying to adjust your vision to the shadows blanketing every inch of the room. you strain your ears to listen, searching for the tell tale signs of something amiss.

it's quiet. too quiet.

you turn to your right, where your sister lays curled against your side. normally, your heart would soften at the sight, her small frame striking you with the urge to protect her against all harm.

but all you feel is fear, dread sitting heavily in the depths of your body, spreading like poison through every bone, muscle and organ.

because your sister's face is pale and sweaty, her soft features twisted in discomfort. and her breathing, it comes out weak and ragged, like just the simple act of keeping herself alive is too much to bear.

the second crack appears when you rush her to the hospital, disoriented by blinding lights, rushed, panicked voices and the blur of movement as they lay her on a gurney and wheel her down the hall. it grows and grows as you stand outside the door, pacing in anxious circles while awaiting any sort of news.

and the final crack, the one that shatters your world beyond repair, is created by the formation of a singular word. you sit in a private room, face to face with an older man in a doctors coat, who delivers the news with tired eyes and a grim, sorrowful expression.

"cancer?" you repeat, the word foreign and strange on your tongue. you shift closer on your seat, shaking your head in disbelief, "are you sure? i mean, she's only eight. how could she possibly.."

"leukemia is quite common in children." he explains with a sigh, his words even and steady, as if hesitant to say anything that may trigger an outburst. a valid concern, considering the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your head, everything in the world feeling like too much to handle, too much for one person to bear.

"is it..." you pause, feeling something hard lodge uncomfortably in your throat. you swallow thickly, voice coming out fearful and torn when you speak, "is there anything we can do?"

you watch his face carefully, preparing yourself beforehand for whatever it is he has to say. you catch sight of the way his lips press firmly into a thin line. how he adjusts his position in his seat, folding his hands firmly on top of the desk. how he exhales, just barely, his voice carrying a lighter note, less pitiful than before, "well, luckily we caught it early, so we can start treatment right away."

"and how much would that be?"

the doctor hesitates for a split second, "about seventy million won."

you wonder if your heart will ever resume beating, or will it forever remain frozen in time, as still and as quiet as the death it promises to your sister's body. there's a ringing in your ears, static that goes in and out, distorting all the noise around you. and your vision, that gets a little blurry too, but you aren't sure if it's because of the tears forming in your eyes or because you feel like dying.

the doctor, as kind as he is, notices your fragile state, and offers to give you a minute to process, but you promptly refuse, insisting that he continues delivering the rest of the ill fated news. you could grieve later. throw something. cry. anything would do. but the fact remains that right now, you're sister is dying, and you need to be strong enough to decide what your next course of action will be in order to prevent that.

he breaks down what the cost is for everything, how it all adds up to the barely comprehensible amount that it is. he must notice the pale, devastated expression on your face, for he offers possible payment plans. loans that you could take out. foundations you could apply for. but even if you did that, even if you managed to balance a second job, fuck it, a third, it wouldn't cover it.

you realize you really do need a moment to yourself, because the mere sight of the numbers makes you feel sick to your stomach, the world closing in on you. which is how you find yourself in the lobby, numb except for the silent tears rolling down your cheeks.

'fuck. what do i do?'

"hello miss. mind if i sit here?"

you glance up at the sound of a smooth, low voice, greeted by the sight of a man wearing a crisp gray suit. the clothes are neat and expensive, tailored to perfection, and he wears a soft smile on his face, the kind that is just friendly enough to be approachable, but not enough to come off as pushy.

you hurriedly wipe your tears away, scooting over on the bench to make room for this stranger, "no no, you can go ahead."

he sits down, placing a leather suitcase in between you. even his stance screams luxury. both feet are planted firmly on the ground, his posture straight, palms resting on both knees. it's such a clear contrast to your own state. the faded, worn out clothes on your frame. how you slouch against the bench, fingers mindlessly tugging at one another.

"are you alright?"

you startle at his question, turning your head to find his own tilted slightly in your direction. it's strange though. despite the concern in his voice, his expression remains the same. it's then that you realize how vacant it is. like it's simply a mask he put on.

"i'm fine. i just..." you pause, considering whether or not you should confide in this stranger.

ji-yeong would tell you to just let it out. she would say that confiding in someone would help ease some of the burden on your shoulders. even if that person didn't offer any helpful advice, sometimes all a person needs is for someone to listen. to have a witness to the way you feel. to prove that it exists.

whatever. it's not like you'll ever see him again anyways.

"i just found out my little sister has cancer, and i have no way of paying for it." you release a laugh at the end, but it comes out more broken and hollow than a way to lighten the mood. the man frowns, just slightly.

"i'm sorry to hear that."

"thanks." you mumble. oddly enough, you do feel slightly better. you suppose ji-yeong had been right after all. not that you'd ever tell her. it'd only make her ego much bigger than it already is.

"would you like to play a game with me?" he asks suddenly, the abrupt question causing you to blink in surprise, unsure whether or not you heard him correctly.

"a game?" you repeat.

his smile widens, a flicker of pure, unfiltered delight forming in his eyes. then, in a manner that is practiced and eased, he shifts back, lays down the suitcase, then expertly unlatches the locks. it flicks open with a click, a satisfying sound that's pleasant to the ears. the man proceeds to lift it open, before finally turning it around so you can clearly see the contents inside.

there are two folded squares inside, one red, one blue, shaped like the pieces you use in a game of ddakji. and right next to it sits three rows of cash, the numbers so large you have to blink a couple times to ensure that your mind isn't playing tricks on you.

"have you ever played ddakji?" he asks, gesturing to the two squares.

"when i was a kid." you respond. it was a popular playground game. kids would beg their parents to make them the folded squares, and the following hour would be filled with cheers and frustrated screams as each child attempted to throw the square and successfully flip the other.

your eyes track his movements as he swiftly takes them out, "for every round of ddakjji you win, i'll give you a one hundred thousand won."

"what?" you sputter out, unable to comprehend the sheer amount of cash he's offering for such a childish game. suddenly, you start to grow wary of the whole situation, like a camera crew is about to jump out, or there's some sort of hidden agenda you haven't quite figured out, "but why?"

the man grins, "it'll be fun." he explains simply, like there could be no other possible explanation for giving away that kind of money.

you frown, still unable to shed the remaining skepticism, "and what happens if i lose?"

"then you'll pay me the same amount."

ah, there's the catch. you sigh, shooting him an apologetic smile, "i'm sorry, sir. i don't have that kind of money. maybe you should play with someone else."

the man studies you for a moment, the scrutinizing look he regards you with making your skin crawl. that uncomfortable feeling grows when his smile stretches wider, "how about this?" he begins, his next words causing your mouth to fall open in shock, "you use your body to pay what you can't afford."

"excuse me?" you feel flabbergasted by the suggestion. how could a well mannered man like himself insinuate such a thing? and think that just because you're poor, you'd be willing to do it? it's disgusting, to put it simply, and a little insulting.

"if you lose, i'll give you a little slap on the wrist," he clarifies, and while it does relieve some of the discomfort, it doesn't eradicate it completely, "seem fair?"

you stare at this man, who formulates his offer like it means nothing. like it's simply another part of his day, and whether you agree to it or not doesn't affect him in the slightest. his smile never falters, his eyes remain bright and expectant, his delight simmering beneath, and you come to one conclusion.

this guy is insane. you can't explain it, can't reason why or how you know, but it's as clear as day to you. and that insanity is almost enough to make you turn down his offer.

but then you look back down at the suitcase. the money is real. there's no doubt about it. and the sight of it reminds you of the looming number over your head, the price you have to pay to keep your sister alive.

at this point, what else do you have to lose?

"okay." you mumble, the finality of your agreement causing his grin to surface once more.

the both of you stand up, and it's then that you realize you're the only two people in the lobby. he holds out both squares, "which color would you like to play as?"

you stare at the colors, switching between cherry red and ocean blue. it's practically muscle memory, formed when you were a kid, that pulls you towards the one on the right, "i'll do blue."

the man sets down the paper, then takes a step back, allowing you room to play. you feel your heart pick up in speed, feeling nervous. if you failed to turn it over, you'd get hit, and while the pain would be temporary, the humiliation would linger.

you take a deep breath, rummaging through your memory for the tricks you learned as a kid. your fingers face the folded side towards the ground, and you keep it flat, since you vaguely remember throwing it at an angle would only make it harder to create enough force to turn it over.

okay. no pressure. you got this.

you exhale, and within that same breath, you pull your arm back and throw it against the ground.

the moment the red square flips, you find yourself transported to the playground of your childhood, hearing the cheers of your classmates and feeling the bubble of excitement in your chest. despite yourself, you release an excited little yelp at winning the game, bouncing slightly on your feet.

the man hums, visibly pleased and impressed by your victory, "good job."

just as promised, he hands you the money, amounting to the one hundred thousand won. your fingers tremble as you hold it, the rational part of your brain vaguely wondering if this is all a dream, some hopeless belief that you conjured up as a response to your dire situation. but the feeling of the money in your hands is real, and so is the man before you.

you glance up, intending to thank him for his generosity, only for him to ask you a question you have no way of refusing, "want to play another round?"

you end up playing several more rounds of ddakji, taking turns throwing a folded piece of paper against the ground for the possibility of earning a bit of wealth. by the end of it, the echoes of the harsh impact remains in the air, along with a wad of cash in your possession.

"thank you. i mean, i can't even being to express my gratitude." you stammer out, bowing deeply to him in gratitude.

"you know, there are other games like this that you can play," he gestures towards the cash with a nod of his head, "and you can get even more money than that."

you blink, once again wondering if he is messing with you, because it just seems too good to be true. just by playing a couple rounds of ddakji alone has contributed greatly to the cost of your sister's treatment, and it barely took more than twenty minutes. this is far more than you earn in a full work day.

and he's just telling you that somewhere out there, you can earn just as much, possibly even more, just by playing a kids game?

"i want to give you an opportunity." he reaches into his pocket, revealing a small business card.

the brown cardstock sits casually between his fingertips, three shapes printed on the front. a triangle, a square, and a circle. he extends it in your direction, encouraging you to take it with a reassuring smile. you hesitate only for a moment before slipping it away, holding it delicately between your own fingers.

as you stare down at the card, strangely quiet, he smiles, stands up, then leaves you with a parting message, "think it over."

-

the house is quiet when you arrive home. you hate it, the silence. it should be filled with your little sister's laughter. her endless questions. the crash of her body colliding with the wall when she fails to skid to a stop on time.

you sit on the couch, legs folded neatly beneath you, a lamp emanating warm light across your features. and within that yellow glow is the business card.

you've been staring at it for a long time, contemplating the offer repeating in your mind. you've turned it over in every way, inspecting every little detail, like the numbers on the back, the smudged ink by the shapes, and his words that promised a fortune so large you can barely wrap your head around it.

the door opens, momentarily breaking you out of your inner turmoil. you lift your head, spotting a shadowy figure with short hair and wispy bangs stumbling exhaustedly through the door. you watch, only slightly amused, by the way ji-yeong makes a dramatic show of taking off her shoes and trudging sluggishly towards the couch, plopping down so her head lays in your lap and her feet are propped up on the armrest. she sighs, fluttering her eyes shut.

ji-yeong, strangely attuned to your emotions, being able to notice any slight shift in your mood, immediately grows aware that something is wrong. whether it's the fact that you failed to greet her like you normally do, or the fact that you don't run your fingers tenderly through her hair, some sort of abnormality makes her peek one eye open, inspecting your face.

whatever she finds prompts her to blink both eyes open as she lifts up her body and angles it towards your own.

"what's up with you?" she asks bluntly, still studying your grim expression.

the explanation that forms in your head makes your chest feel tight, and the words sitting on your tongue taste bitter and sour. you spit it out, because it's the only way you can get rid of the feeling, "my sister is in the hospital."

"what?" ji-yeong shouts, body growing rigid, face marred with disbelief. she searches your face worriedly, and when she realizes that you aren't lying, that you aren't playing some cruel joke on her, she shifts closer, her tone taking on a more gentler note, "what happened?"

"cancer." you mumble, unable to help the way an angry laugh slips through your teeth, "can you believe it? someone as young as her, who is supposed to have her whole life ahead of her, is sick because her cells fucked up."

"shit. i'm sorry." she whispers, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. you lean into the touch, the comfort of her warmth calming you down, "is it treatable?"

"yeah, but it's expensive. i don't know if i can afford it while paying bills." you explain truthfully.

ji-yeong grows quiet, and when you turn your head to look at her, there's a contemplative expression on her face. hard set eyes, teeth gnawing thoughtfully on her bottom lip. then, in one swift moment, far too quick for you to grasp, it's exchanged for determination the moment she snaps her head up.

"i can get you the money."

"what?" you question, more so confused than anything. ji-yeong, due to her recently served prison sentence, earns even less than you do. even if you pooled your money together, it wouldn't be enough to cover even a quarter of the cost.

"i can get it for you. just trust me." she repeats earnestly. you frown.

"ji-yeong-"

"look," she interrupts you before you can speak, her movements rushed and hurried as she pats down her pockets in search of something within, "this guy approached me today, and he gave me this."

she finally finds what she's looking forward, a triumphant grin settling upon her lips as she holds it up to the light. within her fingers is a brown business card, three shapes printed on the front.

you falter at the sight, struck with a million questions, a million doubts, and a whole lot of suspicion.

"did he make you play a game?" you ask, the contents of your inquiry wiping the smile off of ji-yeong's face. she stares at you in shock.

"how'd you know?"

you reach for your own card, holding it beside her own, "i think we met the same man."

your friend glances between the two pieces of cardstock, practically identical when put side by side, "shit, no way. that two timer."

you ignore her joke, meeting her eyes as you lower your voice to a hesitant murmur, "do you think it's real?"

"the money? hell yeah. i saw loads of it in that fancy suitcase of his."

"but what if it's a scam?"

"does it really hurt to try? what else have we got to lose?"

you realize belatedly that ji-yeong is right. you've already discussed your limited options with the doctor, and unless you want to go into massive debt, there's no way that you can afford to pay for your sister's care. not if you want to be working for the rest of your life, forever burdened by the issue of money.

but if you lost her, you'd have nothing.

"okay. let's do it." you agree finally, your friend releasing an excited shout in response.

you and ji-yeong go through the motions of pulling out your phones and typing in the numbers on the back of the business card. once your fingers have pressed on the final number, you hesitate only for a brief moment before placing your thumb over the dial button, then proceed to lift it towards your ear.

it rings three times before it stops, the line clicking into place, followed by a man's voice on the other end, "hello? who's calling?"

"uhm," you stutter, having not rehearsed what you would say beforehand. you decide to just go with what feels right, "is this the same guy i played a game with earlier?"

he doesn't say anything at first, which makes you question that perhaps you put it in wrong, or it turned out to be a scam after all. but just as you're entertaining the idea of stammering out an apology and hanging up, his voice breaks through the silence,

"do you wish to participate in the game? if you wish to participate, please state your name and birthdate."

you share a look with ji-yeong, who no doubt received the same message. she sends you an encouraging smile, shooting you a thumbs up, which gives you the confidence to respond.

no going back now.

the man gives you a set of instructions. a place that you must arrive at within the hour, and a password that you must relay once the car comes to pick you up. to be completely honest, it sounds like something out of a movie, and just a little sketchy with how secretive they are being. it also doesn't help that ji-yeong was given a different location, meaning you'd have to split up until the start of the game.

"see ya soon." she calls out, taking a right where you have to take a left, the exact spot where your paths diverge. you watch her figure get smaller and smaller, the shadows swallowing her up. you're suddenly struck with the fear that this may be the last time you see her.

"don't get into trouble, ji-yeong." you shout, hoping she'll ignore the unease in your tone.

she spins around, walking backwards down the sidewalk, having always lived her life a little on the edge. she cups her palms around her lips to accentuate the volume of her voice, "yes mom!"

you sputter out a laugh, realizing the moment that she grins that that had been her intention all along. to sooth your discomfort. to ease your heavy burdens. you shake your head slightly, then set off on your own.

you find yourself in front of a playground in the center of a small neighborhood. it's quiet, the only sounds being the squeak of the swings swept up by the wind and the crickets hidden in bushes. it feels eerie, like something dangerous is lurking about, waiting to attack, but you chalk it up to your usual anxiety and ignore the alarm ringing in your head.

a car eventually pulls up, a gray minivan with tinted windows. it comes to a stop right in front of you, the gentle hum of the engine so deep it vibrates in your bones. the window on the passenger side rolls down, revealing a sliver of light inside. 

you hesitantly step forward, looking within. there's a masked figure in the driver's seat, perhaps a man based on the build. he wears a pink jumpsuit, and on the mask obscuring his face is a circle. just like the one on the business card.

"name?"

his voice is distorted, making it difficult to connect it to a specific person. you glance around, then quietly murmur your name.

"password?"

"red light green light."

the door slides open, revealing three other people inside, all fast asleep. the sight of it is strange. you'd assumed that the excitement or anxiety of such a competition would cause people to have a hard time visiting the dream realm. 

something doesn't feel right.

"what else have we got to lose?"

ji-yeong's words are repeated back to you. she probably didn't spare it a second thought. she's probably already in her own car, on her way to the destination. you can't disappoint her now by chickening out last minute.

so you take a deep breath and step inside.

you search for a seatbelt, but there isn't any, so you settle rather stiffly in your seat. you glance around, noting that all the people inside are much older than you. two men and one woman. they barely even stirred by all the noise you made.

strange.

the car still hasn't started moving.

"excuse me-"

your words are drowned out by the sound of hissing, like steam being released into the air. you glance around, noticing pipes running along the roof of the car, something that definitely didn't come with the purchase.

like it's been added there for this exact purpose.

your eyes shift back towards the slumped over figures, the dots finally connecting to form one horrible conclusion.

they didn't fall asleep.

they were drugged.

you barely have time to panic before your own body grows drowsy, each blink of your eyes feeling heavier than the last. black dots dance before your vision, mind growing foggy. you fight it as long as you can, refusing to give in, but it all proves futile in the end. there's no stopping the way your body falls against the window, and you forced into a dreamless slumber.

Chapter Text

consciousnesses finds you quickly, a desperate hand searching in the dark. the moment it latches around your mind, it yanks with a force so intense you snap awake with a gasp. 

the first thing you notice is the music. it drifts from some unknown point in the room, echoing as it spreads to every inch of space. it's a sweet melody, serving more like a gentle transition into the waking world rather than to startle the people from their slumbers. still, it feels out of place, this sound blending with the confused murmurs coming from all parts of the building. 

the voices are what prompts you to move, groggily pushing your disoriented body into a sitting position. you glance around, awestruck by the arrangement of the room. it's large, the size of the grassy field your high school had where students played soccer and sports day would commence. white walls stretch up into a high ceiling, which shine down with bright, blinding lights. and pushed against the walls are tall metal structures filled with beds and hundreds of people, each wearing green tracksuits and bewildered expressions. 

you glance down at your own attire, finding the same clothes on your body. a white shirt peeks out from under the jacket, displaying the number 68 in the same shade of green. you don't want to think about why you're wearing it or who put it on you, neither do you wish to dwell on the fact that you can't remember a single thing after passing out in the car. 

ji-yeong. 

the girl's name surfaces like an old reminder, appearing vaguely in the back of your mind. it quickly becomes clearer and more urgent, however, once your brain notices it in the background, causing all your bones to grow rigid and for your heart to race slightly in apprehension. 

you scramble out of bed, weaving in and out of the crowd of people walking confusedly down the stairs. when you reach the bottom, there's a large clearing, packed with individuals of every age. your eyes flit frantically between each face, searching for one that resembles your friend. youthful, pale, perhaps sporting a bored, disinterested look, for ji-yeong is not easily impressed. 

"whatcha looking for?"

you jump at the sound of her voice, spinning around to face the unexpected question. you're immediately greeted by ji-yeong's curious eyes, her posture relaxed as she leans her weight on one foot, hands stuffed into her pockets. you breathe a little sigh of relief, finding that she appears relatively unscathed. 

"ji-yeong! you scared me." you gasp, your panicked state earning you an amused laugh. 

"you're so jumpy." the corners of her mouth twitch a little, further proving that she finds this entire situation entertaining rather than strange. ji-yeong has always been like that. preferring to look at the world through rose colored lenses. not because she's naive, she's well aware of the cruel reality not so easily visible to the eye, but because she's a firm believer that life is too short to worry about danger when it's inevitable. 

'we're gonna die anyway. might as well have fun while we're at it.'

but you're not like ji-yeong. while her carefree attitude helps you relax in the moments that matter, it doesn't erase the fear lingering in the back of your mind, reminding you of all the things that could go wrong. even now, it screams at you to open your eyes and pay attention.

'but to what? what am i missing?'

"are you okay? you're not hurt, are you?" you ask, scanning her face worriedly. 

"nah," she brushes over your concern with a wave of her hand, a tiny shrug. that same hand then places itself on her nape, where she begins massaging the muscles with a slight grimace, " my neck is sore though. i think i fell asleep in the wrong position."

you imagine everyone feels the same way. it's not like you got a fair warning before getting dragged here unconscious. but at least she's unharmed, even if you have no idea what happened to your body during the transport. 

you glance around, noticing several other players doing the same thing. oddly enough, there's no sign of anyone who could possibly be in charge of this competition, at least, none that you're able to distinguish from the participants. besides that, the other details that catch your attention are the large metal doors at the front of the room, practically looming over everyone within. you get an uneasy feeling at the unknown, having no clue as to what lays behind it. 

'is it to keep us in?'

"this feels weird right?" you mumble, unable to refrain from voicing your concern out loud. 

"what part? the fact that they drugged us? or the fact that we're locked in a room with no recollection of how we got here?" ji-yeong responds rather dryly, only a sliver of sarcasm present in her tone. 

you consider her question, searching for the root of your suspicion. but the harder you think about it, the more that you realize nothing about this seems right, "everything."

ji-yeong doesn't get a chance to respond, for a new sound erupts across the space, shattering the calm bewilderment previously blanketing the atmosphere. this time, it's replaced by a harsh, grating note, like metal scratching the surface. 

"you fucking bitch!"

surprised murmurs originate from the center of the clearing, carrying a slight edge of restlessness. almost in sync, you and ji-yeong turned towards the origin. 

"a fight?" ji-yeong sounds a little too excited by the prospect, her interest finally piqued. without wasting another second, she rushes towards the edge of the crowd, eager to see what's going on. knowing that it's useless to try to stop her, you follow her retreating form. 

you stand beside her, copying her movements of shifting on your feet to try and peek around each head. at first, you're unable to see past the tight knit circle, but someone finally shifts aside, allowing you to take that space and catch a glimpse of the scene occurring. 

there's a guy in the center of the crowd, standing tall while looking down upon a girl crumbled on the floor. he has a tattoo on his neck and a cruel smile, the kind that mars his features with something sinister and ugly. 

as for the girl, her short, wavy hair is ruffled from the rough exchange, her fingers clenched into tight fists. when she finally looks up, it's not the cold, hard stare she shoots at the man that makes your heart skip a beat, nor is it the dark blood on her bottom lip. 

it's the fact that her cheeks are painted with a splash of freckles, like a smattering of stars stolen in the night. 

it's the girl from before. 

she slowly pushes herself to her feet, straightening so they face one another. her sharp gaze doesn't falter, but the corner of her mouth twitches upwards, amused, like she's defying his attempts to break her. 

"yah!" he barks out, forcing her to properly look at him. when he gets a clearer view of her face, he laughs in disbelief, "wow. it really is a small world," he moves closer, each step slow and even, carrying the weight of the danger in his stance, "look at this bitch's eyes. you're still the same, huh? then again," he lowers his voice, roaming his eyes across every inch of her body, "nobody's broke you in. you know how to take a punch."

rather amazingly, this girl remains unaffected by his words, barely even flinching at his threats. either she's used to it, or she does an excellent job at maintaining a hard, composed front. 

"i took you in. i fed you, taught you when you had no one else," each word he spits is more bitter than the last. by the landing blow, his smile has been wiped completely off his face, "this is what i get?"

"you already took more from me than what i owe." she responds coldly. 

he chuckles, "okay. if that's true, how come you ran, then?"

"i didn't run. i went independent."

he snorts at her explanation, "went independent?" he echoes. his laughter fades into a sigh, the silence growing thick with tension. for a brief moment, he glances away. expression going dark and serious, something simmering beneath the surface, threatening to break free. 

faster than you can blink, he's pulling back his arm and taking a swing at her face. 

she steps out of the way just in time. 

shocked gasps form in people's throats, filling the split moment where he pauses, the two individuals staring at each other. 

the next couple of seconds are a progression of violent scenes that blur before your eyes. and oddly enough, in a way you can neither explain nor comprehend, you feel her pain and emotions as if they were your own. 

the man reaches for her collar, harshly tugging her small frame towards him. she struggles in his grip, her hands attempting to pry his fingers away, to loosen his hold, and you can feel the panic rising in her chest. you also feel the sharp pain in her legs where he kicks her, throwing her off balance and towards the ground. 

when she tries to get up, he grabs her jacket and throws her several feet away, so you feel the harsh sting on your skin as she rolls along the floor, sliding against the tiles. just when she catches herself, he rushes forward and sends a swift kick to her ribs, the blossoming of pain making you match the gasp she chokes out as she curls in on herself. 

he crouches down, threading his fingers through her hair. you flinch when he yanks it back, forcing her to face him. her stare is just as cold as before, but there's a new level of loathing present in the dark pools. 

"independent huh? you some kind of activist? come on then, go wave a flag," he pauses, then smiles mockingly, "oh, that's right. you're from north korea, huh? then wave theirs. hm?"

it's stupid really, the way your muscles contract, preparing itself to move. you're not the fighting type. you hate confrontation. and there's almost a concrete guarantee that you'll lose, and your attempts will be for nothing. 

but the sight of this girl getting thrown around like she's nothing, the fact that you feel every ounce of hurt in her body, makes your heart ache so painfully, you can't just stand by and ignore it.

ji-yeong's fingers skim your arm as you rush forward, "wait, don't-"

you pull your leg back and thrust it forward as hard as you can, aiming for precision more than force as you connect it in a weak point on his stomach. it gets the effect you desire, for he falls on the ground with a barely concealed groan, stunned enough to remain there. 

for a moment, you feel a rush of guilt tear through your body, but you figure you'll face the consequences later. instead, you shift your attention to the girl, dropping to your knees as you hover your hands uncertainly before her. you hesitate, before swallowing thickly and choking out in a breathless murmur, "are you okay?"

the girl blinks, appearing almost surprised by your question. her dark eyes run across your features, examining the frown present on your lips, the tension within the planes of your face. she doesn't say anything, like she doesn't know what to do with the sincerity of your emotions bleeding so freely for her. 

before you can say another word, the world tips over, spinning so fast and suddenly it's difficult to get your bearings. when you finally steady yourself, your body has been shoved to the side by another man, this one with shaggy hair and a light stubble. he grips the front of the girl's jacket. 

"hey, you, come here. hold still." 

he holds her head, pushing her hair back. with the messy strands out of the way, a long, jagged scar is revealed, running down her neck. 

"oh, that scar on your neck." he points out, the revelation followed by him grabbing her jacket more firmly and beginning to shake her rather aggressively, "you're the damn pick pocketer! you loser. my money, give it back. where is it?"

the moment you hear her strained grunts, you jump, latching onto his back as you try to pull him off. 

the man is momentarily caught off guard by your sudden weight on his back, but he quickly composes himself, dividing his attention between shrugging you off and threatening this girl, "what the - get off!"

"leave her alone!" you shout, using all your strength. but it's no use. not only is he older and stronger than you, but your current position makes it hard to inflict any sort of substantial effect. you'd have a better shot kicking him like you did the other guy, but your leg still throbs a little with the aftereffects of it. 

"she has my money! she took it! i need it - "

you notice him quicker than 456 does, and that split second of a faster reaction time allows you to release your hold and jump back right before the kick lands on the man's ribs. your eyes follow him as he falls to the floor, before he scrambles up so hastily, you'd think he was embarrassed more than hurt by the action. 

"what the hell - " he falters when he sees the other guy, tongue tied at the sight of his menacing stance and spiteful expression. 

once you're certain that the two men are preoccupied with their own argument, barely paying any mind to you and the girl, you tentatively shuffle closer, until your clothes brush together, warmth exchanged through the proximity. and just like before, she stares at you quietly, eyes creasing ever so slightly in confusion, a hint of suspicion creeping into her expression. 

your eyes lower towards her mouth, where blood originates from the corner, painting her bottom lip. vaguely, you can feel your own tingle slightly with the pain, tasting the metallic iron on your tongue. 

you're not sure what exactly comes over you in that moment. what prompts you to lift your hand, inching it slowly towards her lips. as if to touch the soft appendage, to be graced with the warmth. 

her hands shoot up without warning, fingers wrapping tightly around your wrist, effectively halting your movements. you glance back up in surprise, and this time, the look in her eyes is different. it is not distant. it's not carefully curated to hide her true feelings. 

there's fear in her eyes, darting around your face frantically, slightly skittish. 

an apology forms in your throat, the words large and heavy in your mouth, but you can't quite dislodge it. the silence feels just as thick, carrying something unspoken that you can't quite decipher, at least, not clearly, not with how quickly your mind is racing. you feel the slight tremble of her fingers. her warmth closing in around you. her heavy, frantic breathing, a stark contrast to the sensation of the world stopping in its tracks, holding its breath. 

a buzzer echoes, shattering the moment. 

you both turn towards the sound. the heavy metal doors that you noted before open, revealing a group of masked individuals sporting bright pink jumpsuits inside. the same attire that the driver wore when they picked you up. most of them have circles on their masks, but there is one with a square instead, directly in the center like some form of authority figure. 

as they enter into the living space, the girl immediately loosens her hold, retracting her hand so quickly you'd think she got burned. the sudden movement makes you turn back in her direction, just in time to see her flitting her eyes rapidly between your own before hastily glancing away. 

she tries to get to her feet, a barely concealable wince tightening her features. you rush to help her, placing your hands tentatively on her arm. the moment your palm brushes her skin, she shifts away, shrugging you off with a sharp look.

"i can do it myself." she snaps. despite the cold bite in her words, you don't flinch. for some reason, you know she's not doing it to be mean. she's just scared. scared that you'll hurt her. scared that you'll treat her the same way those men have been treating her. 

so you don't push the line drawn when she turns away, retreating to a spot in the crowd where she can easily blend in. you just watch her leave, not taking your eyes away until she disappears from sight and you feel ji-yeong's presence come up behind you. 

"you alright?" she asks, blinking at you curiously. 

you find yourself nodding, even though your chest feels a little tight with discomfort. 

you both direct your attention to the group of masked men at the front of the room. it's a little eerie, how strict their formation is, the fact that you can't see their features. you feel intimidated by it, perhaps even a little afraid, but you couldn't say the exact reason why. 

the one in the square mask steps forward. 

"i would like to extend a heartfelt welcome to you all," he begins, his tone a blend between friendly and commanding, like a beautiful flower that you'll later find out has thorns, "everyone here will participate in six different games over six days. those who win all six games will receive a handsome cash prize."

"and why should we believe that?" 

everyone turns their head towards the man who spoke out suddenly, wanting to catch a glimpse of the person who dared to interrupt the ones so obviously in charge of this whole competition. beneath everyone's scrutiny, he falters slightly, before barreling forward to voice out loud his concerns. 

"y-you took all our stuff and put us to sleep coming here, and then you brought us to this strange warehouse. now you're saying you'll pay us if we go and play a few games? you really expect us to believe that?"

"we reluctantly took all those measures to maintain confidentiality as we brought you here. we'll return everything once the games are over." the masked man explains simply, not missing a beat. 

this time, a woman speaks, "you all...you all have masks. why are you wearing those things?"

"we do not disclose the faces and personal information of our staff to any of the participants. it's a measure we take to ensure fair games and confidentiality. please understand."

while his explanation makes sense, something still doesn't sit right with you. if this is simply a competition, what's the point of maintaining confidentiality? you've seen game shows on tv, and none of the staff worried about showing their faces to the world. actually, now that you think about it, there's no camera crew around to record. is this not that kind of competition? 

"i don't trust anything you just said." a different man than the first one speaks up, his voice echoing slightly in the hushed silence. heads turn, ears straining, and you're own attention snags on a pair of rectangular frames and a serious expression, "you tricked us. kidnapped us. imprisoned us. and now you're gonna keep making excuses not to show your faces to us. so give us one reason why we should believe anything you say."

there's a beat of silence before the masked figure speaks. 

"player 218, choi sang-woo." he lifts his arm, a small remote held in his hands. you hear the small beep of a button as he presses down, causing the room to go dark and a screen above him to light up. it shows sang-woo dressed in a suit outside a building, where he plays a game of ddakji, "age, 46 years. former team leader of team two at joy investments. siphoned money off from his clients balances, then invested it in derivatives and future options and failed. current loss, 650 million won."

the masked man proceeds to state the names and ages of the other players, along with their own debts. each number is bigger than the last, the reasons behind such a large amount of debt ranging from gambling addictions to failed businesses. the screen breaks off into tiny squares, displaying practically every person in the room and their humiliating defeats and desperate victories. 

"every person standing here in this room is living on the brink of financial ruin. you all have debts that you can't pay off. when we first went to see each of you, not a single one of you trusted us. but as you all know, we played a game, and as we promised, gave you money when you won. and suddenly, everyone here trusted us. you called and volunteered to participate in this game of your own free will. so this is it. i'll give you one last chance to choose. will you go back to living your old and depressing lives getting chased by your creditors? or will you act and seize this last opportunity we're offering here?"

murmurs erupt as people contemplate the offer. you yourself can't deny how reasonable it all is. it's just as ji-yeong said. when you're living at rock bottom, what more do you have to lose as you're trying to climb your way to the top? 

"hey! which games are we playing here?" another person shouts. 

"in order to play fair, we cannot disclose any information about the games ahead of time."

"one question," a guy raises his hand, the same guy who attacked the girl, begging her for his stolen money. once he's garnered the attention of the masked men, he hesitantly lowers it, "if we win, just how much do we get?"

instead of responding, the man presses the remote again. something shifts from above, the sound of mechanisms clicking in and out of place, so loud you have no choice but to search for the source. you glance up, warm yellow light washing over your face. 

two ceiling panels break apart, and a large glass pig is slowly lowered from the ceiling. music also accompanies the movement, sort of like a video game, further accentuating the astonishing effect. you feel your lips part slightly, eyes wide at the sight. 

"sick." ji-yeong marvels, her face just as awe struck by wonder. 

"your prize money will be accumulated in there after every game. we will disclose the amount to everyone after the first game is over. if you do not wish to participate, then please let us know at this time."

no one says anything. you imagine that they are still focused on the sight above, which feels like something out of this world. the masked men take this as a sign of agreement, and the deal is set. 

before the first game can begin, several things must be taken care of prior to the start. players are instructed to get into one of many lines that have formed, where a masked figure stands at the end with a pen and paper. a waiver that must be signed in order to participate. 

when it's your turn, you hold the paper in both your hands, trying to read every single line. there aren't many, which surprised you. you had assumed that there would be a block of text so small you'd have to squint to read it. but that's not the case at all. there is only three rules. 

CLAUSE ONE: A PLAYER IS NOT ALLOWED TO STOP PLAYING

CLAUSE TWO: A PLAYER WHO REFUSES TO PLAY WILL BE ELIMINATED

CLAUSE THREE: GAMES MAY BE TERMINATED IF THE MAJORITY AGREES

the person behind you snaps at you to hurry up, sounding equal parts frustrated and impatient. you mumble an apology, hesitating only for a moment before picking up the pen and signing your name. 

afterwards, you're put into a single file line. due to the amount of players, it wraps around the room several times, making it feel like you're going in circles until you actually exit. music erupts from speakers in every corner of the room, a classical song you recognize as the blue danube. your mother used to be crazy about it, so the melody brings you a strange sort of comfort. 

ji-yeong trails behind you, appearing bored by the mindless activity. as for the girl, she is nowhere in sight. 

"attention all players. the first game is about to begin. please follow the staffs instructions. please make your way to the game hall."

the route leading to the game hall in question is a series of stairs, all bright colors from the rainbow. it looks cartoonish, the blocky structures surrounding you, like it's come straight out of a kid's show. the odd shapes of the windows, which seem to serve no other purpose than to add to the strange aesthetic. the bright, vibrant colors that appear to be chosen by a child rather than an adult. 

you glance up. the ceiling seems to stretch for miles, no end in sight. you wonder if it's an illusion, or if this building is a lot larger than you initially thought.  

"do we have to go up all those stairs?" ji-yeong asks, reluctant at the prospect of so much exercise. 

"better hope the game doesn't require physical strength or stamina. you'd never survive." you joke playfully, causing her to flip you off. 

you approach an area with tall pink rectangles, which hold a small screen, bright lights and a camera. it looks like a photobooth, only there's no curtains to divide each area, only the structures. players move one at a time to stand behind it, smiling as a camera shutter snaps close. 

when it's your turn, you stand a little awkwardly, not knowing how to pose. when it asks you to look into the camera, you glance up, but the screen doesn't mirror your expression, it only shows a circle with a smiley face.

"smile."

your own comes out small and unsure, the light almost blinding you as the photo gets taken. 

when ji-yeong finishes her own, she joins you in the line with a small frown. 

"i think i blinked." she announces, which causes you to sputter out a laugh. her frown deepens, shooting you a glare, "hey, it's not funny. what if i win this thing? that photo will probably be displayed everywhere."

"maybe if you ask nicely, they'll let you retake it."

she goes quiet, like she's actually considering it, before shaking her head and pushing you forward, "ah shit. whatever. let's go."

the structure of the place is weird, in which time feels strange, and so do the paths that you take. sometimes you go up. sometimes you go down. sometimes it feels like you're straying from the center, only to circle back to the same spot. you have no idea which direction you're going in or where any of it leads. 

"how much do you think it cost to build all this?" ji-yeong asks suddenly, glancing around. 

"more than we can comprehend, that's for sure."

she huffs out a laugh, "rich people and their money. they always seems to waste it on the most useless things."

you only hum in agreement. 

you finally exit out onto a field. the walls surrounding it depict an abundance of trees and a cloudy sky, obviously fake, but when you glance up, the blue expanse you're greeted with is very much real. you can feel the heat beating down upon you. the breeze sweeping past. three birds flying overhead. the smell of salt in the air. 

"are we at the beach?" unless you're imagining the sound of waves crashing in the distance, you must be near it. but it seems like such a strange spot to hold a competition. you can't recall anywhere with a building large enough to hold this many people and it's various rooms. 

ji-yeong squints at the sky, "hard to tell. are we even in korea?"

you frown, realizing with sudden clarity that she may very well be right. but to leave the country entirely, that must've been a long trip. unless you're on some sort of isolated island? 

but why? 

you glance at the far end of the field. there are two masked men, circles on their mask, who stand on both sides of a large doll. she stands in front of a tree, wearing an orange dress and short pigtails. she must be part of the game, but you have no idea what kind would require such a large mechanism. 

"attention all players, after you enter the game hall, please stand behind the white line drawn on the field and await further instructions."

the voice repeats the instructions once more. you and ji-yeong end up pausing a couple feet away from the line, sticking close to one another. you chose a spot not too far from the line, but not close enough to be the first over it. a precaution, since you aren't sure what the game entails. 

eventually, the gates behind you slam close, locking you in. the sound rattles in your bones, accompanying the dread you feel stirring in the pit of your stomach. the speaker comes on once more. 

"here is the first game."

it gets quiet, everyone holding their breath in anticipation. 

"you will be playing red light, green light." the doll slowly turns around, facing the tree. she lifts one arm to rest on the trunk, "you are allowed to move forward when "it" shouts out green light. stop when "it" shouts red light. if your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated."

"sounds easy enough." ji-yeong conveys, not at all anxious or worried over the rules, the complete opposite of your own emotions. 

"don't you think it's too easy?" you question, turning towards her. 

ji-yeong bumps you lightly with her shoulder, "you worry too much. let's just play the game."

you sigh, shifting your eyes to the ground, staring at your shoes. those have been exchanged to match the uniform as well. they are clean and in perfect condition, far different than your old, beat up sneakers that were falling apart at the edges. 

'maybe she's right. maybe i'm overthinking this.'

the rules get repeated once more before some additional information is added. 

"those players who cross the finish line without being eliminated within the five minute playtime will pass this round. with that, let the game begin."

there's a click, and above the tree, a screen displays a timer for five minutes. more clicks follow as the numbers tick down, officially indicating the start of the game. 

the doll starts singing the words 'green light', its voice high pitched and feminine like a child's. you and ji-yeong move in short, even strides, not wanting to break out into a run in case you can't stop your movements in time. the rules stated you had to complete it within the time frame after all, not that you had to be within the first to finish. 

unlike your own careful movements, two guys near the front dash forward, crossing more distance than everyone else. you wonder if they are competing with each other rather than aiming to finish first, which is stupid in your opinion. 

when the doll turns around, the consequences to their rash actions finally comes to light. while one of them is able to stop in time, the one with dyed blond hair comes to an abrupt halt, but his pace was too fast for such a change. he stumbles, trying to maintain his balance, which makes him move even after the words red light have been uttered. 

"what an idiot." ji-yeong chuckles.  

"player 324, eliminated." 

a loud bang echoes across the space, far too similar to a different sound to just be a coincidence. you feel every muscle in your body tighten up, the beating of your heart stopping momentarily, before going faster than ever before. 

did you hear that correctly? or were you imagining the way it sounded like a gunshot just rang out? 

it's silent for several seconds. the body crumbles to the floor. from where you stand, you can't tell if your fears are true or if the boy is just playing a cruel prank. 

when the doll turns back around, beginning to sing green light, you shuffle forward uncertainly, sharing an uneasy glance with ji-yeong. 

the red light comes back on. you stop. 

the guy the eliminated player had been competing with leans down, inspecting his friend. you can't see the expression on his face. you can't even hear the questions that he asks. all you see is the way he shuffles back, before breaking out into a complete run in the opposite direction.

another bang rings out. this time, you don't mistake the sound for something else. 

a blood curdling scream erupts from a woman. 

it lights the match for a bigger flame, the effect spreading like wildfire across the field. screams and fearful shouts come from every direction. people shuffle back, then break off at a run to escape death's clutches. 

your own muscles scream to do the same, begging to pull you away from the danger you've unknowingly put yourself within. 

'they're killing us. they're murdering us.

i need to leave. move run do something -'

"don't," ji-yeong hisses, her strict voice making you freeze once more, "don't move." she whispers. for the first time since the game started, her voice comes out wobbly. 

people rush past you, aiming for the doors towards the back of the room, but based on their anxious cries, they remain closed, keeping them locked in. at some point, the gunshots succeed one another so rapidly it turns into one long, drawn out sound, containing no beginning and no end. 

even when it finally stops, you still hear the anguished cries and the shots, just like an echo. 

the voice repeats the rules. 

"i will now repeat the rules. you are allowed to move forward when "it" shouts out green light, stop when "it" shouts out red light. if your movement is detected afterwards, you will be eliminated."

it's the same feminine voice. the one that instructed you through the winding halls and into the field, explaining the rules. and they haven't changed. but now that you know the hidden meanings you failed to catch before, it holds a more ominous note now. 

no one moves even when it says green light. you imagine they feel the same way you do. struck by fear. bones so weak, they couldn't shuffle forward even if they wanted to. a singular thought probably repeats in their head. 

'i'm going to die here.'

only one pair of footsteps break the silence. an old man, the only one brave enough to continue playing. he walks across the field with a smile on his face, completely unbothered by the dead bodies surrounding him. he doesn't even spare them a glance, and you being to wonder if he even realizes what's going on, or if he simply refuses to acknowledge the reality of the situation. 

his boldness must give everyone else the courage they need to continue on. by the second time the doll turns around, another pair of footsteps accompany his own, their motions more careful than before. 

when you fail to move along with the others, you feel ji-yeong come up next to you. she places a hand on your arm, gently urging you forward, but you stay rooted to your spot. you shake your head insistently, refusing to join the pile of dead bodies laying against the dirt. she sighs, eyebrows knit together in worry. 

"i think the doll is a motion sensor. you can stand behind me." she offers. 

you look down at her, noting the expression on her face. ji-yeong looks just as scared as you do. her skin, already pale, looks ghostly white, and her lips tremble slightly. it's jarring to see your friend, who is always so fearless, laughing at the face of danger, look just as scared as you feel. 

numbly, you tip your head in what you hope she registers as a nod. it must work, for ji-yeong smiles, ever so slightly, the last reassurance you visibly see of her, before she assumes a spot in front of you, blocking you from the doll at the front. 

those next few minutes of your life are arguably the worst. not in the same way that you consider your parents death as the unraveling of your world, nor the day your sister was diagnosed with a terminal disease. it's the fact that you can't do anything to change your fate besides inch forward whenever you can, trying to will away the quiver of your body as a result of the fear. 

just what cruel person would do this? subjecting all these people to death because they lost some silly kid's game? 

when you and ji-yeong step past the finish line, you collapse onto the floor, too weak to keep yourself together. it unfurls, the sobs pulled out of your body, the shaky gasps accompanying it. not even the dirt beneath you can ground you to the earth, not when you feel like you'll get swept away by terror consuming you, swallowing you whole. 

it doesn't stop, even when the time stops and the last gunshot rings out, because somehow, you know you'll never forget the sound, nor will you ever be able to escape it. 

Chapter Text

it's strange how the lack of sound can be deafening. how the silence can roar in your ears, drowning out everything audible. how despite the fact that nothing is verbally said, the air is thick and heavy with everything unspoken. 

your back is pressed against one of the tall metal structures in the room, the sharp edges digging into your skin from how hard you curl alongside it. your legs are folded against your chest, your head resting on your knees, a futile attempt to make yourself as small and unknown as you can against the grueling pressure closing in around you. 

ji-yeong sits beside you, mirroring your current position. she stares blankly at some unknown point in the room, a distant, troubled look in her eyes. you didn't notice it before, but a splatter of blood rests on her cheeks. somehow, you know it doesn't belong to her, but you can't bring yourself to ask where it came from. 

no one speaks in the room. not a whisper or a quiet murmur. all you hear are muffled cries and soft sniffles. 

the images flash like hot bursts in your mind, despite how hard you try to will them away. the substantial amount of blood pooling beneath crumbled bodies. gunshot after gunshot ricocheting against the walls. the smell of death in the air, burning your nose. 

they killed them. they killed them in cold blood. 

what are they going to do to you?  

the buzzer echoes, the loud sound so sudden it startles nearly every person in the room, igniting a falter in their rapidly beating hearts. it's followed by the click of a mechanism, the doors sliding open, revealing pink jumpsuits and concealed expressions. everyone scrambles to their feet, yourself included, trembling bodies shuffling away in fear. 

for this time, the masked men have triangles rather than circles, and they all hold rifles in their hands. 

the square guard stands at the front, further proving your presumption that they're in charge of this whole ordeal. despite the terror spreading like poison through your body, you find yourself waiting for whatever it is they have to say with a held breath. 

"you have all made it through the first game. congratulations. you're moving on."

their message rattles you, sending a shock crawling unpleasantly down your spine. moving on? they really expect you to keep playing even after all that?

"i will now announce the results of the first game."

your attention is directed towards the screen above them. this time, it displays all the players in the game. 456 to start. it beeps, and the numbers start going down rapidly, blurring before your eyes, before finally stopping at 201.

"out of 456 players, 255 were eliminated, and 201 players successfully completed the first game."

around you, the other players release shocked gasps and murmurs, the room buzzing with the news. your stomach turns, and suddenly you feel sick, down to your very bones. that's more than half of the people in this room, gone. 

"please sir!" a woman rushes to the front of the crowd, tears streaming rapidly down her cheeks. she pauses a couple feet away from the edge of the crowd, presenting herself front and center for the guards, "sir, i'm so sorry. i swear i'll pay what i owe. i'll pay it." she drops to her knees, pressing her hands against one another to rub them together. her crying becomes hysterical, her choked words coated in despair, "please sir. i have a baby at home. they don't have a birth certificate. i don't even have a name for my child. just let me leave."

one by one, more people break from the crowd to join her. they lower themselves to the ground, laying themselves and their desperation bare for all to see. there is no shame in their actions. perhaps they hope these people will pity them enough to give them a chance at forgiveness.  

"there seems to be a misunderstanding," the masked figure begins, causing the hysteric scene before him to quiet, "we are not trying to hurt you or collect your debts. let me remind you that we're here to give you a chance."

"a chance?" someone echoes. heads turn in his direction, "we play some kids' games and you shoot us. you want me to choose that? that's some chance."

"we may be in debt, sir, but that doesn't justify killing us all." another whimpers. 

"this is just a game." the guard proclaims, no edge of emotion in his words. like he truly believes that what they just did to those people is nothing more than an entertaining sport, and not a mass murdering spree. 

"killing everyone out there was just a game to you, huh?" yet another man chimes in. 

"they were simply eliminated for breaking the rules of the game. if you just follow the rules, you can leave this place safely with the prize money we promised." he explains. 

"just keep your damn money i don't care!" a player snaps, "just let me go home. that's all i want."

indistinct chatter erupts, filled with people agreeing with the player's wish. the flame is snuffed out when the guard speaks, taking everyone's hope along with it. 

"consent form clause one. a player is not allowed to stop playing."

the consent form. the waivers. that's why they wanted you to sign it. it wasn't for confidentiality. it was to ensure that no matter what happens, they couldn't be held responsible for the deaths of all those people. 

you had basically signed your life away. 

the turning in your stomach gets worse. your fingers grip the metal beds to steady yourself, but it doesn't sooth the quickening of your breaths. the pressure on your chest threatening to crush you. ji-yeong spares you a concerned look. 

"come on! you think you'll get away with this, huh? the police will come. they'll bust in here any minute now. they'll be here since we all disappeared."

"yeah! and i bet they have everybody's phones tracked here already. look at all your hostages. you're doomed if you don't let us go."

more and more shouts are produced, each more angry than the last, holding threats and sharp edges that would make anyone flinch. your breathing comes out more ragged, your lungs gulping down air that never seems to come nor stay. ji-yeong's fingers are pressing against your shoulder, her rushed words falling on deaf ears.  

"you're all dead!"

BANG!

a gunshot rings out. that singular sound transports you back onto that field, where it never seemed to stop, turning into a chorus that grated against your ears. you press your hands against the delicate appendage, squeezing your eyes shut, desperately willing away the traumatic images and sensation. 

someone is screaming, but you are not able to determine whether it belongs to yourself or someone else.

everyone ducks down, cowering beneath the powerful bullet, arms covering heads to protect themselves against the imminent danger.

and then it goes quiet. eerily so. and yet the silence still carries the echo of that shot. 

when you hesitantly lift your head, all the guns are pointed in your direction. 

"consent form clause two. a player who refuses to play will be eliminated."

"consent form clause three." a man retorts just as quickly. he stands up, and you immediately recognize him from earlier in the day. sang-woo, wasn't it? he has the same rectangular frames, the same serious expression, but this time, it holds a more determined layer. he steps forward, "if all the players agree to stop playing, the games can be terminated. is that correct?"

the guard doesn't answer at first. perhaps he's surprised someone remembered the rules. perhaps he's pleased by the fact. perhaps it's neither of those things, or both, "you are correct."

"okay," sang-woo responds, a flicker of relief passing over his tense features, "so then, let's all take a vote. if the majority wants to leave, then everyone here gets to go home."

another beat of silence. when he finally speaks, his distorted voice takes on an almost airy, light tone, "alright. as you wish. we will take a vote to decide on the termination of the game."

all the air seeps out of you, your long, drawn out exhale shaky and quiet. you direct your attention towards ji-yeong, who has her eyes focused on the front of the room. her face is unreadable, but you see the tension slowly leave her body as well. 

you then glance around the room. several of the other players are smiling in relief, their chatter rushed and excited. your attention snags on a head of short, messy curls, and you don't realize why until she turns, meeting your quiet stare. 

it's the girl. 

for some reason, you feel relieved to see her. to know that she's alive and breathing, barely even a scratch on her delicate features. her coldness from earlier is not as prominent now, her expression more distant than cruel, but it strikes you with the same feeling as before. the pace of your beating heart picking up in speed. a coiling in your stomach. and the longer she stares back, regarding you carefully, it feels like you've been shocked with electricity, a jolt rushing down your spine, this one more pleasant than the last. 

she glances away, and the feeling disappears. 

"before we vote, let me announce the prize money for the game as previously promised." 

the guard pulls out a remote, lifting his arm and pressing the button. the ceiling parts once again, the lights growing dimmer, replaced by the warm, yellow light that comes from the large glass pig. it washes over your features as you glance up. this time, a tube is lowered, and wads of cash get thrown into the pig. 

your body moves automatically, drawn in by the scene before you. you stand up, watching as the pig gets fuller and fuller, filled with large, fat stacks of cash. it doesn't stop until it's about a quarter full. 

"holy shit." ji-yeong mutters beneath her breath.

"a total of 255 players were eliminated during the first game. a hundred million one is at stake per player. therefore, 25.5 billion won of prize money has been accumulated so far. if you wish to give up on playing, the 25.5 billion won will be sent to the bereaved families of the late players, 100 million won each. however, you will all return empty handed."

"excuse me," the woman who'd cried about her nameless child turns towards the front, raising her hand, "so then, if we can complete all six games, how much do we get?"

"since there were 456 players, the total prize money is 45.6 billion won."

"holy shit." ji-yeong mutters again. 

45.6 billion won. billion. your feeble mind can't even grasp that amount of money, the true value that it holds. with that, you could pay for your sisters treatment. you could move out of your shitty apartment. you could afford college for her. hell, you could go to college yourself if you really wanted to. 

a better life. that's what 45.6 million won promises. 

your moment of excitement is brief, however, all your dreams shattering one by one. a question replaces it, one you can't ignore no matter how ignorant you wish to remain, focused solely on the cash prize above your head. 

'why would they show us this right before we vote? why not reveal this before the game started? or even after?'

the timing of it all feels off. almost like it's intentional. like there's a hidden agenda behind revealing just how much money everyone could've had. how much they're giving up. 

'are they doing this because they don't want us to leave?' 

"and with that, we will begin the voting."

a podium is placed down at the front of the room, and a white line is drawn down the middle, splitting it in half. all players are crowded onto the right side, shuffling restlessly as they await further instructions. 

"as you can see, there are two buttons in front of you. if you wish to continue playing, press the green button with an O. if you wish to stop playing, then please press the red button with the x instead. after you finish voting, move to the other side of the white line and wait. voting will be done in reverse order of the numbers on your chests. player 456, please cast your vote."

the man in question slowly steps towards the front of the room. when he reaches the podium, he pauses, lowering his head as he stares at the two buttons. he doesn't move for a long time, as if he's weighing each option, going through the pros and cons of leaving or staying.

you find yourself biting your nail anxiously, heart hammering against your chest. 

the man finally sighs, a resigned sound, the kind that accepts defeat. he lifts his arm, then presses his palm against the red button. it beeps, and the screen displaying the number of votes changes. a one is now visible beneath the x section. 

the man steps to the other side of the line.

"player 453, please cast your vote."

an older woman goes next, one with circular frames and silver gray hair. she does the same thing as player 456. staring at the two buttons, moving her hand from one to the other. as the seconds tick by, you feel the already restless bodies grow more impatient, agitated breaths exhaling sharply through thinly pressed lips. 

the woman turns around, staring up at the glass pig. her glasses reflect the yellow light, the green cash sitting inside.

without another moment to waste, she turns around and presses the green button. 

those two decisions dictate the rest of the players choices, like dominoes falling on top of each other, one by one. the voting is weighed almost evenly. when someone votes to leave, someone votes to stay right after, keeping the numbers relatively the same. it's hard to decipher which will end up winning, which makes your anxiety worse than before.

by the time half the votes have been cast, someone finally breaks. 

"have you all gone crazy?" a man snaps, his sudden outbursts turning all the heads in the room, "we have to leave! we can't keep putting up with this insanity."

"and what if we leave?" a woman responds, who just casted her vote to stay. she curls her lips into a sneer, no longer the same pitiful woman who begged on her knees for a chance to leave, "what actually changes? it's just as bad out there as it is in here, dumbass." she scoffs, then walks off to the left side of the room. 

"she's right. if we stop right now, that only helps the ones who are dead. they get 100 million won and not us. we made it through! they're out! that money is ours."

your find your own features twisting in disgust. how could they say that? how could they be so selfish? those people didn't choose to die. they didn't even know. and their families, they at least deserve something since they wouldn't be getting a body or an explanation as to what happened to them. 

a man rushes towards the source of the argument, "please! think about what just happened out there! come on, let's go!"

"where am i supposed to go, huh? out there i don't stand a chance. i do in here. no, i've got nothing out there," a sort of finality overcomes his features, like no matter what happens, his choice has been made and cannot be swayed. he glances around the entire room, "come on, let's finish this thing! i'd rather stay and keep on trying in here than go back to the bullshit out there!"

the player standing next to him reaches out and grips the front of his jacket, shaking him while shouting in his face, "you jerk! you got some kind of death wish? go die alone. don't drag everybody else into this, you little shit!"

they start yelling at each other, the volume rising and rising, the tense energy crackling in the air. sparks are discarded in every direction, a blazing fire ready to burst. it only grows silent when one of the triangle guards approach, the barrel of a gun digging into the man's back. 

both players abruptly stop, all disagreements discarded and forgotten. they back away, hands up in surrender. 

"we will not condone any kind of act that impedes this democratic process," the square guard explains, "now, let us resume and continue voting."

the rest of the voting goes peacefully and quietly. no sudden outbursts arise. no one so much as cheers when someone votes to stay, or groans when they choose to leave. 

when it's your turn to vote, you don't hesitate to press the red button, just as quickly finding an empty spot in the crowd of people on the left side of the room. ji-yeong voted a while ago, her number being in the 200's, so you're unable to find her amongst the sea of bodies. you figure you'll search for her once this whole thing is over. 

the next player goes up to vote, player 67. this time, you don't need to hear her voice to know who she is. the casual stride she assumes, the messy curls barely reaching her shoulders, those qualities have all been engraved into your head, growing more and more prominent with each encounter.  

your heart falters when she doesn't hesitate to press the green button, opting to stay and play the game. she turns, and her eyes immediately find your own, whether intentional or not. for a split second, it almost looks like she hesitates. a brief pause in her steps, her eyes widening imperceptivity, the smallest hint of regret forming in the space between her brows.  but it's gone just as quickly as it passes, leaving no trace behind when she glances away and slips into the shadows to stand. 

towards the very end, the votes are balanced perfectly. 100 to 100. it feels like some sick joke, a way to toy with everyone's emotions. only one person is left. an older man, his features sunken down, wrinkled with age. 

"it seems we're down to the last vote. player one."

the man slowly walks over, his pace slow and even. when he finally arrives at the podium, he stares between the two buttons. at some point, he reaches out a trembling hand, but he doesn't press anything. 

"if you wish to continue playing, press O. however, if you wish to stop playing, then press X."

he glances up at the votes. you can't see his expression from this angle, but you imagine that he's wearing a thoughtful expression, contemplating. you wonder if perhaps he's feeling the pressure of the room. how one singular choice will unravel the rest of these people's lives, whether their time will be shortened by the hand of someone in power or lengthened as promised. 

he glances back down. it feels like an eternity before he moves his hand and presses the red button. 

cheers and groans erupt across the room, blending into sounds that don't quite fit right. your only reaction is the release of a withheld breath, feeling as if you can finally breathe again. ji-yeong remains silent. 

"the majority of the players have voted to terminate the game. therefore, this game is now terminated." the square guard announces. 

one of the players, who you remember voted to stay, rushes to the front, "hey! okay, anybody who wants, they can go. but let the ones who want to stay play the game."

the masked figure ignores him, "it truly is a pity that we must say goodbye to you like this. however, we will not completely seal the door of opportunity for all of you. if the majority of you wish to participate again, then we will resume the game."

why would anyone want to come back when it's clear they'll be marked for death? you can't imagine anyone making that decision, especially yourself. 

the guard leans forward with a parting bow, "so, goodbye for now."

-

when you wake up again, it's cold and dark. the guards aren't as kind as they were when you were picked up, making you briefly wonder if it's a product of resentment or annoyance for having wasted their time. 

for one, there's the matter that despite being awake, you can't see. a bag is pulled over your head, obscuring your vision, a disadvantage that you can't fix due to your wrists being bound tightly against your back. you're also vaguely aware of the fact that your feet are also restrained, and your body wears nothing but your bra and underwear. 

the van finally rolls to an abrupt halt, pulling a surprised grunt from your throat. two other people sit in the car with you, a man and a girl. you were able to figure it out by listening to their breathing, noting how the man's was deep and heavy, while the girl was much more quiet and subdued, light and feminine at every sharp turn and sudden bump in the road. 

those two individuals exit first. you hear a surprised yelp from the man, followed by a thud, and the girl produces similar sounds. you're about to question the reason for it, only to get interrupted by a pair of hands roughly wrapping around your upper arms. 

instead of guiding you out of the car with a farewell, however, you're roughly shoved out of the vehicle with no warning. you land onto the cold hard ground with a barely concealed groan, feeling the harsh sting of the asphalt scrape your bare skin. your belongings are discarded just as carelessly, before you hear the engine start up once more and grow distant, until disappearing entirely. 

"help! help! hello!" the man yells, the sounds of struggle occurring just several feet away from you, "help, over here! i can't see anything!"

"shut up." the girl mutters, grunting with some sort of effort. you pause your own wiggling, vaguely recognizing the voice. sitting at a slightly lower note, the constants even and measured, barely holding any sort of emotions besides irritation. 

"huh?" the man replies, dumbfounded. you strain your ears, noting how he suddenly gasps, perhaps in surprise? and his breathing gets a little quicker, accompanying the hasty sound of rustling, "who are you?"

you're not sure who he's referring to. you don't think you're as close to them as they are to each other, so you remain silent. 

"the pickpocket?" he asks breathlessly, causing a jolt down your spine, "you're the thief. is that you, huh?"

 "oh, shut up." she grumbles, her irritation more prominent now. you imagine that if you weren't blindfolded, you'd find her eyes as sharp as a knife and her lips turned down into a scowl, "unless you wanna lie here all night, untie me, you moron." 

as their talking ceases, the quiet filled with the man's grunts of effort with what you presume is his teeth cutting through the rope, you occupy your own time with trying to get into a sitting position. your breathing picks up in speed, the movements much harder than you initially presumed considering how tightly your feet are woven together. but by the time you hear the rope snap, you've managed to sit up right. 

"hang on." she grunts out, before promptly going silent once more. 

"oh shit. where are we?" the guy asks again, but he doesn't get an answer. you hear movement, more rushed than before, followed by the gentle padding of footsteps. you hear it towards your right, not that far away from where you sit. 

"hey, untie me now. hey! what are you..." the man's agitated rambles trail off the same moment you recognize the sound of clothes being rifled through, "oh, okay. get dressed first. it's cold."

the man continues mumbling incoherencies beneath his breath, mainly complaints about the temperature and for the girl to hurry up. you hear her pause, like she's considering something. then, you hear her footsteps trail closer, and you swear you both hear and feel someone's presence right in front of your body. 

"hello?" you call out uncertainly, still unable to see and move from your position. you shiver a little, the cold seeping deeper into your bones, body involuntarily leaning towards the warm body just several inches from your own. the man is still mumbling something, but the girl remains silent, the only sounds produced from her being her soft breathing. you're not sure if your mind is playing tricks on you, or if she's the one reaching forward and slipping something cold and sharp through the ropes around your wrists. 

once your hands are free, the same person gets to work doing undoing the ropes around your feet. while they're doing so, you lift the bag from your head, met with a full head of disheveled curls. 

you suck in a sharp breath, partly due to surprise at the sight of her, partly due to the brush of her fingers against your ankles. she glances up, peering up at you with her dark brown eyes. you were wrong. they are no sharp edges to her gaze. they are softened with something you can't quite name, not exactly indifference or her own form of bewilderment.

and somehow, they look even more beautiful in the night. perhaps it's a trick of the light, or perhaps you're a romantic, but you swear you can see the stars reflecting in them. 

"oh. thank you." you mumble, feeling heat creep into your face at the proximity. she's so close you could count the freckles on her cheeks if you wanted to. you could touch them, too. lift up your hand and brush your fingers against the slope and dips of her expression. 

she doesn't say anything, her expression remaining just as unreadable as ever. as the silence stretches taut, you feel another gust of wind, the cold slithering down every inch of your exposed body, reminding you that you're currently half naked. 

you hastily cross your arms over your chest, curling in on yourself as you feel the heat burn your cheeks. the girl blinks, then hesitantly averts her eyes, scanning the ground. she picks up a plastic bag, which you presume holds your clothes, and hands it to you.

as you get dressed, you hear the man and the girl engage in conversation, mainly him begging her to untie him and her refusing to do so. you understand her skepticism. based on his actions before the game, he seemed about ready to force the money out of her without a second thought. 

when you pull your jacket over your body, you straighten, angling your body towards the man. despite his threats, you can't help but feel bad for him, his lean, shivering frame making him look pathetic on the ground. he doesn't look as dangerous as he tries to make himself seem. 

you take a step towards him, intending to put him out of his misery and help him out, only for her sharp words to stop you. 

"don't. he'll only make things difficult." 

you hesitant, tearing your eyes away from his pleading face to her own impassive one. she stands several feet away, hands resting casually in her pockets, seemingly ready to run off the moment she gets a chance. 

"forget the money, okay? untie me, i beg you." 

the corner of her lips twitch, "seriously?" she asks, not believing him one bit. 

"yeah. i swear i'll forget the whole thing." he insists. 

"how can i trust you?"

"i swear it on my..." he eagerly gulps down a breath, "on my own mother, okay? pretty please?" 

he falls onto the ground, whining pathetically about how much it hurts and how cold he is. you turn back towards her face, noting the exact moment her resolve wavers. she presses her lips into a thin line, releasing an exhausted breath. 

guess she's not as cold hearted as she tries to make herself seem, you think, rather fondly you may add, as you watch her lean down and rip the rope from his wrists. 

"hey, you little..." almost immediately, just as she predicted, he turns around and thrusts his arms in her direction, flailing his arms every which way. she steps out of reach with surprising ease, perhaps having expected this despite his promise. he stumbles to his feet, but since a rope is still woven around his ankles, he doesn't get far, having to hop to get even a step closer, "my money, give it back. give it back now!"

he throws the rope at her, which falls to the floor with a thud, having done no real harm. her mouth twitches once more, an amused smile forming fully upon her lips at the scene before her. she stuffs her hand back into her pockets, slowly walking backwards as he attempts to get closer. he falls to the ground, pulling a soft laugh from her lips, until her face smooths out into what you could mistake as disappointment, but you get the feeling that she doesn't care enough to warrant such an emotion. 

"that's all your mother means to you?" she asks. when he doesn't respond, she scoffs, then turns and starts down the road. 

"you little...hold on! you stop right there! hey!" he calls out to her, but this time she doesn't look back. his eyes then slide over to your own, his face molding into a friendly smile as his voice gets softer, "hey, can you help me? please?" 

while you normally would've helped without a second thought, the girl is right. he's likely to run after her the moment he's untied, and you don't want to be responsible for another fight. 

"sorry ajusshi." you bow to further show your regret, then scurry off into the night, ignoring his protests. 

it doesn't take long for you to catch up to her, tentatively assuming the space to her right. strangely enough, she doesn't question your presence, she doesn't even snap at you to leave. she just spares you a disinterested glance before turning her attention back towards the stretch of road before you. 

"is it really okay to leave him like that?" you ask, fighting the urge to glance back over your shoulder. he's stopped yelling now, which could either be a sign that he's focusing his attention on freeing himself or something horrible has happened. 

"if you're so worried then go untie him yourself." she responds flatly. 

you don't say anything, mainly because you can't. you'd already decided that you wouldn't be stupid enough to trust him, not when he's clearly still upset over whatever occurred between them. best to just let him figure things out on his own, even if it is a little cruel. 

the silence settles once more. in the distance, you see buildings peeking out over the trees, the bright lights serving as a beacon towards your destination. you're not sure which part of the city you've been dropped off at, for you don't recognize the roads, but you hope it's not too far from your apartment complex. you also hope ji-yeong is doing okay. 

you shift your attention towards the girl's face. the first thing you notice is the warm glow of the streetlamps splayed across her face, bits of yellow reflecting in her dark brown eyes. your own flicker towards her lip, recalling her earlier injury. the blood is dried now, but a scab has formed. it doesn't seem to bother her that much, no prominent signs of discomfort evident on her features, but then again, she seems like the type to hide her true feelings. 

"back then..." you start. she turns towards you, giving you her full and undivided attention. a gift you weren't expecting. your cheeks warm as you fumble to speak, "i mean, are you okay? that cut looks like it hurts."

her eyes crease slightly in confusion, her eyebrows knitting together as her lips form into a frown, "why do you care?"

"i just..." you trail off, all words dying in your throat. you glance away, finding that you're unable to bear the full extent of her scrutiny. 

for some reason, the way she looks at you makes you want to tell her the full, unfiltered truth. perhaps it's the color of her eyes. her face is so carefully put together, but her eyes betray little bits of her true emotions. but the truth isn't something you can admit. you don't even know the answer yourself. 

all you know is that you're drawn to her in a way you can't explain. like you've known her in some point in time. whether that be in the past or future, it doesn't change the fact that this is not your first time meeting. 

instead, you fumble for something in your pocket, relieved when your fingers close around a small container. you weren't sure if those people had rifled through your pockets, but you're glad that they didn't take anything. when you pull your hand out, petroleum jelly sits in the palm of your hand. you always keep it on you in case you get a scrape or bruise from falling off your scooter (rare, but it happens) your sister also happens to be very clumsy, and ji-yeong is just borderline reckless. 

 "take this. it'll help." you hold it out for her to take. 

her eyes glance down at your outstretched hand, staring quietly at your offering before tentatively moving back up to your own. she eyes you skeptically, like she can't fathom that you'd do this for no reason at all, like there must be some thorns hidden in the stem of your rose.

it makes you a little sad to see the distrusting look on her face. she looked at you the same way before, when you'd nearly touched her. how can you prove that you don't wish to hurt her? that a part of you cares a little too much, even when you barely know her? 

tentatively, so as to not scare her, you reach forward, taking her hands into your own. she only fights it for a brief moment, but the second she sees you placing the ointment gently in her possession, she stops, all the fight seeping out of her body in one shaky breath. you curl her fingers over it, giving it a soft squeeze before dropping your hands. 

"you don't have to give it back or anything. and i don't expect anything in return, so don't worry about that. just take care of yourself."

suspicion bleeds into something else, changing the color of her eyes, smoothing out whatever remains of her coldness. it's replaced by something warm, making her look soft and young in the moonlight. somehow, you get the feeling that this is her shedding all her hard layers, a glimpse at the person she truly is. 

you're struck by the feeling, how it wedges itself perfect between your ribcage to reach your heart. 

you clear your throat, gesturing vaguely towards a path that branches away from your current one, "i go this way. so i'll just, uhm," your face flushes even more when you struggle to find the right words, so you decide to put yourself out of your misery by abruptly turning, "goodbye."

you scurry off, trying to find a pace that isn't too slow, but not too quick either. and as the wind bites at your cheeks and her warmth gets further away, you wonder if you're imagining the amused breath she releases, almost like a laugh.  

- 

a phone call comes from ji-yeong twenty minutes later, and shortly after that, you're meeting the girl at the front door of your apartment. the two of you don't say anything. you simply rush forward and tug her into a bone crushing hug, instantly feeling relief when you feel the vitality of her life. her heartbeat. her warmth. 

she's okay, you repeat to yourself, over and over again as you finally let her go. 

no words are exchanged, especially not about the horrors of the past two days. you and ji-yeong take turns washing up, scrubbing the dried blood and dirt off your body to get rid of the physical reminders of the death that won't leave you alone. 

and then you fall into your bed, hands tangled together, bodies curled towards one another, finally falling into a restless, dreamless sleep. 

the next morning, you find yourself at the hospital. the wing in which your sister is staying in is filled with the stench of bleach and grief. as you pass by occupied rooms, you spot small children sinking into beds, their frail, sickly features causing your heart to twist with sympathy. family members hover above them, cheeks streaked with dried tears. 

when you enter, your sister is awake, and it's hard to think that she's sick at all. her cheeks are round with her youth, flushed with life. her movements are bright and lively, especially prominent when she glances up and spots you at the doorway. 

"unnie!" she exclaims, smiling from ear to ear, revealing all her crooked baby teeth. whatever heavy weight previously looming over your shoulders disappears at the sight. 

you cross the room and take a seat on the edge of the bed. the mattress dips down under your weight, accommodating the space you take up, "hey squirt. staying out of trouble?" 

"why didn't you visit me?" she whines, her tiny fingers grabbing onto the sleeve of your shirt. she tugs back and forward, causing your body to sway with the movements. 

"i'm sorry. i had to take care of some things at home." the lie slips easily through your teeth, but it doesn't make it taste any better. the bitterness is just as foul, the sourness threatening to make your features twist slightly, betraying your guilt. 

her lips pull into a pout, her eyes large and glassy. the sight is like a hand reaching into your chest and squeezing your heart of all its worth. 

"it must've been scary, huh?" you mumble. you feel terrible for leaving her alone. you're not sure how long she's been awake, but she must've looked for you the moment she opened her eyes, and quickly realized your absence. 

"a little. but nurse yeon is really nice. she gave me crayons. and she snuck me pudding." she grins, a little mischievously, which takes away some of hurt. 

you reach forward, gently running your fingers through your sister's hair. she preens under the touch, her body going a little slack, her eyes fluttering close. your mother used to do this for you, back before she died. anytime you needed a little comfort, she'd gently card her fingers through your tangles and smooth it all out. you found yourself doing the same for your sister, but sometimes you weren't sure if you were doing it for her sake or your own. 

"unnie."

you hum lightly to acknowledge the questioning way she calls out for you, urging her to continue. she's silent for a moment, a conflicted expression twisting her soft features. when she does finally speak, her voice comes out quiet and hesitant, a little shaky and afraid. 

"am i going to die?" she whispers, those words effectively breaking your heart cleanly in half. 

"no," you rush out to say, shaking your head and putting on what you hope is a reassuring smile, "of course not."

"but the doctors said i'm sick." she responds, her bottom lip wobbling, like she's on the verge of tears. you lean forward, pulling her into the warm embrace of your arms, where she clutches onto you like a lifeline. 

"you'll get better. unnie will take care of you." you mumble tenderly into her hair, hoping she doesn't hear the crack in your voice. 

"promise?" she whispers. 

you lean back to reach for her hand. you wrap your pinkies together, then press your thumb against her own. she giggles at the gesture, which makes you smile, "i promise."

the door clicks open, and when you turn your head towards the sound, a man in a white coat stands at the threshold. he smiles kindly at the scene, waving when your sister lifts her hand in greeting. when his eyes slide over to your own, however, you realize the true meaning behind his visit. 

"mind if i steal your sister for a bit?" he asks the small child on the bed. she eagerly nods her head, but not after confirming that he'd give you back right after. he laughs, stepping out of the room, and you follow after him after pressing a swift kiss against the crown of her head. 

you walk down the busy hall, trailing silently after the man. you don't say anything, not until you reach a quieter area of the hospital. he directs you to a row of chairs, where you stiffly settle into. he sits down one seat away, close enough to talk, but far enough to give you space. 

"is this about the money?" you ask, getting straight to the point. 

the doctor sighs, sympathy forming along his features, "i know we said we'd give you some space to process your shock, but we need you to come to a decision soon. we don't have a lot of space in the hospital, so we need to make room for other patients."

you glance back down at your hands, which you wring between your legs, the movements both anxious and mindless. your nail presses against a callous on your palm, which helps momentarily distract you from your racing heart that pounds against your ribcage.

you think of your sister then. how full of life she is, her large, unrestrained smiles and sparkling eyes filled with hopes and dreams. and then you think of the other kids in that hospital, barely holding on. just the thought that soon, her sickness will start to drain that livelihood from her, sucking her dry, makes your heart feel so heavy it drops down into your stomach. 

'promise?'

'i promise.'

there's only one way you can keep that vow. you hate to even consider it, especially knowing what will happen to you if you fail. but what's worse? dying doing everything you can to give her a fighting chance, or standing by, watching helplessly as you fail her? 

when you voted to leave, all you could think about was returning to your sister. to hear her call out for you one last time, to be graced with her smile. but time is running out, and watching her die would feel nothing short of dying yourself. 

"just do whatever you can to make sure she stays alive, and i'll get you that money."

- 

a brown slip of paper, about the size of a business card, is wedged between your door when you arrive home. 

all movements cease entirely, muscles locking down, heart racing erratically inside your chest. your hands tremble as they reach for the cardstock, pressing it between your fingers to inspect all sides of it. the shapes are the same, and so are the numbers on the back of it. 

you glance around, peering down the dark hallways of your apartment complex. you strain your ears, listening for any signs of someone nearby, watching, but all you hear is the muffled audio of the television from your neighbor next door and the distant sound of footsteps coming from a floor above. 

dread forms in the pit of your stomach, heavy and uncomfortable. 

how did they know that your decision changed? 

you unlock your door and step inside, slipping off your shoes with quiet, careful movements. when you enter the living room, you're more so surprised by the fact that ji-yeong is there at all, and not because of the matching card she twirls between her own fingertips. 

"hey." she calls out, the only acknowledgement you receive at your arrival. instead, her attention is focused on the business card, lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. 

"what are you doing here? you're supposed to be at work." you question, raking your eyes across her figure, searching for a clue as to why she's here and not at the restaurant.  

"oh. that." she grows quiet, like she's afraid to reveal the truth. she lowers the card, tipping her head back against the couch to stare at the ceiling. her lips pull down into a frown, a sliver of annoyance creasing her brows, "i got fired." 

you blink, almost convinced that you misheard her, "what?" 

she purses her lips, "apparently they didn't like me not showing up for two days without warning. and apparently my story of getting kidnapped to play death games for some cash is hard to believe," she tilts her head towards your own, a lazy smile now twitching her lips, "crazy, right?"

her attempt at lightening the mood doesn't work. you sigh, feeling exhausted beyond repair, each inconvenience piling up, one after the other, until you feel as if it's impossible to carry the burdens on your own. you stagger over to the couch, slumping down into the cushions beside her. 

you feel ji-yeong's stare burning into you, unrelenting as she considers your tired eyes and tense features, "were you at the hospital?" she eventually asks, striking the center of the target. she's always been unnervingly good at figuring out the reasons that bother you. 

"yeah." you mumble quietly, fluttering your eyes shut, "they said i had to make a decision about whether or not i'm gonna do the treatment."

ji-yeong is quiet again. somehow, you know that if you open your eyes, you'll find her own studying your expression, trying to understand the full picture that you fail to describe to her. when she does speak, her voice comes out small and hesitant. 

"you're going back." she says this not as a question, but as a statement, like deep down she knows the truth, even without you having to say it. all it does is voice it out loud, giving it a sort of finality by allowing her ears to hear what her mind has already figured out. 

you open your eyes, shifting them to rest on her unreadable expression, "i have to ji-yeong. if i don't, my sister will die."

ji-yeong, perhaps for the final time that night, is silent. her eyes flit across your features, then settle on a point beyond you, the gears in her head spinning with what you recognize as an idea taking form. when she finally shifts her focus back onto you, there's that determined look reflecting in her bright eyes. 

"then i'm coming with you." she declares. 

you hastily sit up, shaking your head insistently in denial. you've made peace with the fact that you'd have to return to that hellish place, but the thought of ji-yeong returning too makes your chest feel tight with terror, "no. i need someone to take care of her if i don't make it back."

"yah," she snaps, not unkindly, but in a way to gain your attention. you immediately press your lips shut, "stop trying to be all righteous. who will look out for you over there? you're such a scaredy cat, there's no way you'll win the games without me."

you glare at her, puffing out your cheeks in irritation. when she doesn't retract her words, you slump back against the couch with a sharp exhale. she grins, as if she knows she's won. 

maybe you should've fought with ji-yeong more. maybe you should've exhausted every excuse in the book, or threatened her with something precious that she'd have no choice but to stay. but deep down, you know that she's right. going back to those games is stupid on your part. 

but what choice do you have? you need to do it. you need to give your sister a fighting chance, even if that means putting your life on the line. 

ji-yeong scoots closer. she rests her head on your shoulder, her warmth comforting you enough to soothe the fear sitting in your chest, "you know, you were the only person who visited me in prison."

you release a breathy laugh, "of course i would. you're my best friend."

you and ji-yeong have been friends since as long as you could remember. your mothers had been friends, so it was only natural that the two of you spent practically all your time together. before your sister was born, she had been the sibling you'd always wished for. 

when ji-yeong was convicted after the murder of her parents, your life had fallen apart. you knew what she had done, knew that a teenage ji-yeong had arrived home to find her mother dead on the floor and her father standing over her body. you knew that she'd given him the same fate too. but while everyone else gave up on her, you didn't. you remained loyal until the end, refusing to leave her side. 

"you're also the only person who waited for me the day i got out. you gave me a reason to live," she reaches for your fingers, threading them between one another. she squeezes once, tightly, reassuringly, reminding you of her steady presence, "so wherever you go, i'll follow. we're in this together."

something lodges inside your throat, an emotion so intense it rocks through your entire body. you squeeze back, clutching onto her like some lifeline. the only thing that keeps you tethered to the earth when all you feel like doing is floating away, getting lost in the turmoil of your fears and emotions.

so it's decided then. 

while your terror seizes you once more, threatening to consume you entirely, somehow, knowing that you'll have ji-yeong by your side makes it a little easier to face. 

you make a phone call that night, and shortly after, you find yourself at the same road, stepping into the same van you'd just gotten out of. 

Chapter Text

you wake up in the same bed as before, wearing the same clothes and assigned the same number. but you don't wake up with the same feeling of confusion and dread. 

this time, you awake with a sense of determination. 

187 players came back. that's more than half of the people who decided to leave initially. only 14 people chose to terminate the games and went through with that decision. whether or not it was willingly, or because their debts caught up to them, you'll never know. 

you slip out of your bed quietly, directing your footsteps to where ji-yeong sits on the steps leading down to a small platform. she sits with her legs stretched out and her body tipped back, resting the weight of her frame against the palm of her hands. when you settle into the space beside her, she spares you a sidelong glance before facing forward once more, tapping her feet together in mindless motions. 

while she's preoccupied on whatever place in her head she's retreated to, you glance around the room, noting each detail. there are several familiar faces, people you recognize who voted for and against the termination of the games. it looks like even those who had cried about leaving couldn't face the hell of their reality. 

there's the woman who couldn't name her kid, leaning against a bed with her arms crossed. player 456, the one you'd left on the streets after he attacked the girl. he's surrounded by sang-woo, as well as a tall south asian man with kind eyes and an older player with the number one on his jacket. 

"i'll take you in again and look past everything. come and join us. we were a good team for a while out there, huh?"

your ears pick up on the familiar voice, carrying the qualities of cruelty and arrogance, deep and scratchy. you shift your attention in search of the owner, finally spotting a group of players further down the steps. several men and one girl. 

player 67. 

the sight of her hits you harder than it should've. it honestly comes as no surprise that she'd return to the games. she'd voted to continue playing after all. and yet, a part of you, somewhere deep within your stomach, a certain spot beside your heart, fills with an inexplainable dread, the kind that makes it hard to breathe. 

she leans her body against the metal structures, almost hidden behind it, but from where you sit, you have a clear view of the unruly curls of her dark hair and her carefully blank expression. in front of her is the man with the tattoos, player 101, wearing his usual sneer. behind him are men with the same dangerous smiles and insulting laughter.

"are you actually serious?" she asks in disbelief, as if she's offended that he would think, even for a second, that she'd consider his offer, "i mean, everybody out there is still looking for you."

"stop with the act," his smile gets wiped cleanly off his face, "it doesn't matter how tough you are. you're not going to win in this place. not on your own." he looks to the side, gesturing to the room, "didn't you notice? these jerks with masks came in and removed the beds of the people who died. make one mistake out there, and yours is next."

the corners of her lips twitch into the ghost of a smirk. she leans in ever so slightly, "worry about your own ass, okay?" 

they break out into mocking laughter, amused by her blatant refusal. and despite how clear it is that they don't take her seriously, how they look at her like it'd be simple to break her, this girl is undeterred by the obvious danger they pose. you admire it, how she doesn't let her fear show. she just takes it in stride and continues on. 

"you keep staring at that girl. you know her or something?" ji-yeong asks, her eyes finally turned in your direction. you tear your own gaze away from the scene, meeting her questioning look and the small tilt of her head. 

you purse your lips, trying to find a clear answer to her inquiry. technically speaking, you do know her. it's not your first time encountering one another after all. but for some reason, that response feels too vague. it feels like there's a different one you're searching for. one that goes deeper than a simple brief meeting. 

"i think i did. once. some time ago." 

ji-yeong shoots you an annoyed look, "yah, why are you being so mysterious?"

you laugh, "sorry. i mean," you pause, chewing thoughtfully on your bottom lip. how do you explain it? this connection you recognize, the force that draws you to her? "do you remember what my mom used to tell us?"

"she used to tell us a lot of things. ji-yeong! don't bring bugs into the house. ji-yeong, don't eat so many cookies!"

ji-yeong's imitation is almost spot on. she assumes the same stern tone your mother used whenever the two of you got into trouble. she even did the same body language. hands on her hips, body bent over just slightly, since at that point in time, you were barely tall enough to reach her chest. 

you shake your head in tandem to your giggles before clarifying your question, "remember what she told us about soulmates?"

ji-yeong thinks for a moment, "was that when she was giving me a bath after coming home covered in mud? what did she call it? in-yeon?"

in-yeon. the idea of fate, destiny, or a predestined relationship between two people. it's a belief that some people are connected through karmic ties that have extended across multiple timelines. it carries over through space, manifesting in different bodies, but carrying the same irresistible pull. 

"yeah," you look down at your hands, unable to help the small smile you keep to yourself. since the moment you met her at the off track betting center, you've run into her multiple times. it's almost like the universe wants the two of you to keep crossing paths, "i always liked that story. it's sort of romantic, isn't it?"

ji-yeong studies your face, her features growing tight with contemplation. her frown deepens, "are you in love or something?"

you breathe out a laugh. you don't bother answering her, because the answer is no, you aren't in love. love is meant to describe a powerful feeling. it's a word you resort to when you feel for someone so intensely you cannot bear it, can barely even comprehend it. you don't know the girl, so it wouldn't feel right to use that word to name the sensation fluttering your heart.

yet there's a saying about first meetings. the japanese phrase koi no yakan. a premonition of sorts. sometimes, when you meet someone for the first time, you get this gut feeling in your stomach. a feeling you feel so deeply it takes root in your bones, settling there permanently. 

one day, you'll fall in love with this person. perhaps not now, but eventually. you could learn how to love them, slowly but steadily, until the fluttering in your heart shifts into a warm ache, similar to holding sunlight in your hands. you think soulmates are like that. it's hard to love someone at first sight, but it's not hard to recognize the emotion slowly taking form. 

"attention. your mealtime begins now. all players, please form a line in the center of the room."

"free food, my favorite." ji-yeong grins, wasting no time in getting up and rushing down the steps. you shake your head in amusement, before copying her movements and joining her in one of many lines. 

the circle guards hand over a rectangular container, the color of gold, along with a bottle of water. when you settle back into your previous spots, opening the lid reveals rice, a cooked egg, and some vegetables on the side. it looks appetizing on the outside, but when you pick up your chopsticks and take a bite, the rice is cold, and there's hardly any flavor to the vegetables you hesitantly munch on. ji-yeong must feel a similar way, for her chewing stops, and she stares down at her food in slight disappointment. 

despite how bland it is, you force yourself to eat every bite. you're not sure how often you'll get fed, and there's no telling what game you'll have to play next. if it's another physical oriented game, you'll need all the sustenance you can get. 

once again, your eyes drift across the room, passing over the blur of faces with little to no interest. however, in a way that's almost habit, bordering the line of instinctual, your attention lingers on the girl. she sits higher upon the steps on the other side of the room, eating her meal by herself. 

ji-yeong notices, since you start to feel her stare burning the back of your head. shortly after, you feel her nudging your ribs with her elbow in a playful manner. 

"instead of staring longingly at her you should just go talk to her."

her teasing causes you to snap your head towards her own, finding a large grin to match the mischief dancing in her eyes. heat spreads across your face, flushing your cheeks and the tip of your ears. 

"shut up." you grumble, hoping the glare you send her way is enough to get her to stop. 

unfortunately for yourself, ji-yeong has always been entertained by your angry expression, even when you were kids. every pout and sharp look seems to have the opposite effect on her. rather than diminish her teasing, it seems to fuel her thirst for meddling in things she shouldn't. 

"i'll do it for you," she offers, immediately angling her body towards the girl and cupping one hand around her mouth, "hey-"

panic seizes your body. far quicker than either of you can comprehend, you're jumping up and hastily covering her mouth with the palm of your hand. 

"no!"

ji-yeong erupts into a fit of giggles, unbothered by the alarm in your widened eyes. you huff out a sharp breath, glaring at her, but it only makes her laugh even harder than before. you curse her beneath your breath, tackling her to the ground, which makes her release a surprised yelp as she tries to fight you off. the brawl only lasts for several seconds, but by the end of it, both yours and ji-yeong's hair is a mess, and she doesn't poke fun at your silent yearning for the remainder of the day. 

when you ease back into your previous position, you can't deny the urge to spare another look in her direction, hopeful for another brief glimpse into the dark pools of her eyes. 'just one more look. then i'll focus on the game.'

but when you turn, you freeze. 

because she's already looking in your direction. 

it's a brief exchange. it probably lasts for just a second, perhaps even less than that. it's so short, in fact, that you can easily question whether it happened at all. 

but you know it did. you know, because why else would every bone in your body go still when you're caught beneath her consideration? why would your heart start picking up in speed, pounding against your ribcage as if begging to be let out? and why would you feel that gentle warmth spreading throughout your body, infecting every muscle and organ that it touches? 

she glances away first. 

it takes you another beat longer to do the same.

- 

you've tossed and turned multiple times now. you've even stared into the metal bottom of the bunk above you, thinking of nothing, but sleep seems impossible to grasp, always evading you. 

it could come down to a lot of things. nervousness about what's to come the following morning. a lack of exhaustion. your mind racing with hundreds of thoughts, never getting a moment of peace. 

or, it could be because of the loud yells echoing across the entire room, the product of a woman begging the guards to let her leave past curfew. 

"open the door fuckface! i gotta pee really badly! don't you guys ever pee? let me use the bathroom! i gotta go now!"

she's been doing that for a while now. banging her fists against the door, screaming threats that the guards seem to ignore. around you, you can hear other players groaning in frustration, muttering for her to shut up. you've considered going there yourself, but then again, confronting that woman didn't seem like such a good idea, especially in the dark. 

suddenly, you hear a shift of movement. it comes from the bed next to your own. the one that girl occupies. player 67. you turn your head, straining your eyes against the dark. just vaguely, you see the outline of a girl slipping out of bed. she walks quietly around the beds, in the direction of the still screaming woman. 

'is she finally going to say something?'

you sit up, curious. you carefully slip out of bed, walking towards the edge of the platform, where you get a clear view of both the players and two pink guards. they usher both of them in, and then the door slams shut. 

both the woman and the girl don't come out for a long time, a suspicious amount of minutes that turns your curiosity into worry. you tried asking the guards if you could go in as well, but no one answered your calls, so you went back to your bed and waited instead. 

they finally return several moments later. the woman, number 212, follows after player 67, whispering something indecipherable to the girl. 67 dismisses her with a curt response, then proceeds to lower herself into her bed. you wait until 212 storms off with an annoyed curse before whispering in the dark. 

"are you okay?"

she pauses, slowly turning towards you. it takes her a moment to settle her eyes on your own, probably a product of the dark, but when she finally recognizes you, she blinks owlishly, surprise and confusion blending into one. 

when several seconds pass, and she has yet to respond, you clarify in a rush of awkward phrases, "i noticed you left, and you were gone for a long time so i got worried and wanted to check in on you. but they wouldn't let me in, so..." you trail off, glad that the dark doesn't reveal the pink tinge of your cheeks. 

the girl squints at you, peering at you more intently than before. somehow, you get the feeling that she's not doing that to see you better in the darkness. rather, suspicion has replaced her befuddlement. 

"why are you doing this?"

this time, it's your turn to blink in surprise, "huh? doing what?"

"we don't know each other." she states bluntly, her words a little sharp, but they don't really strike you the way it should've. 

a tiny smile forms, "we aren't exactly strangers, are we?" you counter. 

she blinks again, her head tilting ever so slightly. it's a rather cute gesture, so unlike her usual movements. you shuffle closer, pulling your knees to your chest and resting your head on top. 

"my mom used to say that once is chance, twice is a coincidence, and three times is fate. we've encountered each other three times now."

she frowns, "three?"

you nod, counting off each place on your fingers, "we've met here, outside the van, and also at the off track betting center." 

her frown deepens at the last location you name, like she has no idea what you're talking about. her eyes squint in confusion, nose scrunching in concentration. finally, a flicker of recognition forms. 

"oh. that was you." she mumbles.

"i'll try not to be offended by the fact that you don't remember," you joke. it must fly over her head, because she just nods. there's a beat of silence, before a sudden thought occurs to you. you sit up a little straighter, "ah, how is your lip? it looks like it's healed."

the tiny scab that had been there before is barely noticeable, a new layer of skin now fully formed. her fingers ghost over the injury, like she still remembers the pain it brought. her hand then drops back down into her lap, her expression hardening. 

"it's fine," she responds curtly, dismissing your worry. 

then she pauses, her usually intense eye contact wavering ever so slightly, almost like she's hesitating. confusion works its way upon your features, not quite understanding why she looks so conflicted. you're about to question her strange behavior, but then her gaze has returned.

when she speaks, her voice is a little quieter, a little gentler, "thanks for the ointment."

your grin returns, "it works well, right? my sister is always getting scrapes and bruises, so i had to start carrying it around in case she got hurt."

her eyes widen imperceptibly at something you just said, but you're not quite sure what it is. nonetheless, it has caused this girl to start looking at you differently. her eyes are scanning every inch of your features, like she's trying to pick you apart to figure you out. the heat on your cheeks grow warmer. 

"what's your name?" you blurt out. 

your sudden inquiry snaps her out of her current state. 

"why?" she asks, seemingly reluctant to answer. 

"well, we aren't strangers anymore, right? and i don't know what to call you."

her eyes flit rapidly between your own, searching for something. you're not quite sure if she found it, or if she did, whether it was the solution she was seeking. nonetheless, her gaze lowers for a brief moment, considering, before lifting back up with newfound vigor. 

 "sae-byeok," she mumbles, her voice barely above a whisper, "kang sae-byeok."

"kang sae-byeok," you echo, smiling the moment your lips form the syllables. they taste sweet on your tongue, and the sound of it reaches your ears gently, like a soft caress, "pretty. it suits you." 

your eyes widen when you realize the underlying meaning behind the compliment. your face burns, the fire spreading throughout your body threatening to consume you. 

"i mean," you amend, but you find that you're unable to come up with an excuse. you lower your eyes, accepting defeat, "well, i don't know what i mean. there's only one way i could've meant that, huh?" you laugh nervously, fiddling with your fingers. 

"and yours?" she questions. you glance up, having not expected her to ask for your own in return, but you don't waste a second to offer her your name. 

she nods in response, lowering her eyes. you see her lips move, like she's repeating it beneath her breath, trying to memorize the way it sounds. the sight of it makes you smile. 

"well, we should get some rest now," you shuffle back, offering her a small smile, "goodnight, kang sae-byeok."

the girl nods, then turns to settle into her bed, pulling the covers over her frame. you mirror her movements, laying flat on your back, staring up at seemingly nothing. sleep once again evades you, but for an entirely different reason this time. maybe it's the fact that you can't stop repeating the sound of her name in your head, or maybe it's the racing of your heart. 

- 

your wake up call comes in the form of bright, blinding lights burning your eyelids, loud music coming from the speakers, and a woman's voice announcing that mealtime begins now. 

you sit up groggily, stifling a yawn as you stretch your arms until you feel the satisfying ache in your muscles. you fight against the exhaustion as you slip out of bed, blinking away the drowsiness clouding your mind. 

you barely slept through the night. even after you bid the girl farewell, you didn't end up drifting off until much later, mind and heart moving at distracting speeds. but whether it had been a mere twenty minutes or closer to an hour, it's difficult to tell. 

ji-yeong is silent when you meet her at the bottom of the steps. her lack of words is not anything to worry about though. ji-yeong is not a morning person, and it's quite common for her to not breathe a single utterance until the afternoon, or at least until she's had some coffee. it's sort of endearing the way she struggles to function during the waking hours. she'll yawn every couple of seconds, not caring for her appearance as she drags her body like it's dead weight to wherever breakfast awaits her. 

speaking of food, when you approach the front of the line you're given a bottle of milk and some kind of bread in clear plastic packaging. there's no words to tell you what flavor it is, and you don't recognize the shape and color, but if you had to guess, it looked like it'd taste sweet. 

as you're walking back to your seats from the day before, you spot sae-byeok sitting on her bed, alone, just like before. she stares at her bread, inspecting the packaging with furrowed brows. the sight of her brings back the emotions from the night before. the warmth spreading delicately across your face, how it melts every cold surface. the gentle flutter in your stomach, butterfly wings gracing your ribcage.

"i'm gonna gouge my eyes out if you don't just talk to her." ji-yeong grumbles, having grown impatient as she takes a bite out of her bread. her face immediately twists in disgust. must not be good then. 

you think about retorting with something clever, like the fact that you have spoken with her, even if your encounters are brief. but you bite your tongue, not in the mood to argue with ji-yeong, nor to withstand her teasing. which is exactly why you mutter out a quick, "fine." before redirecting your footsteps to where the girl sits. 

you take a deep breath before climbing up the stairs, shedding your nerves with every move you make. it probably takes about three steps before your head is within her line of vision, peeking up from the side.  

she startles at the sight of you. you weren't expecting it at all, the way she jumps slightly, how her body shuffles back to press against the cold metal structure. her eyes widening into large, round pools of dark brown colors. you smile sheepishly. 

"mind if i sit?" you ask, gesturing to the empty spot across from her. 

she doesn't say anything. she just stares, expression unreadable, not betraying even a hint as to what is going through her mind. she remains so still, so wordless, that you fear you've crossed some invisible line, and it's best to just apologize and leave while you still can. 

but then you see it. a motion so miniscule you almost miss it. her head tips down, ever so slightly, agreeing to your request. 

your face starts to hurt from how large your smile is. you eagerly go up the remaining steps, settling into the space across from her. as you lean against the bed frame you fold your legs neatly across one another, ankles resting below your knees. your fingers carefully get to work in undoing the packaging around the bread, but halfway through a bite, you notice sae-byeok still hasn't even attempted to tear open the plastic.  

"are you not hungry?" you ask. 

her eyes meet yours for a brief moment before shifting back down to her food, "i don't eat in the mornings." she responds plainly. 

you hum lightly in acknowledgement, lowering your own eyes as you take a bite. just as expected, it's sweet, but the bread is too dry. you open your bottle of milk, taking a small sip. you repeat those motions for the next several minutes, which remains engulfed in silence. 

it's obvious that sae-byeok is not the talkative type. she probably finds no need to fill the quiet with pointless small talk, a fact that you don't particularly mind. some may find it awkward or unsettling, to be in someone's presence with no words exchanged. but isn't that what makes a person special? to not find the need to verbally speak? to be satisfied by simply being allowed within their space? 

it's not until you hear whispers of passing conversations related to the days events are you struck with curiosity, and therefore, the need to voice out loud the thought that's been plaguing your mind since last night. 

"what do you think the next game will be?" 

you didn't think sae-byeok would consider your question, nor would she give you a serious answer. and yet she does, and you don't know what to do with the given fact, "something with sugar."

"sugar?" you repeat, dumbfounded. it seems bizarre that sugar would have anything to do with a game that could result in your death. when you think of sugar, you think of summer days at the playground, a man rolling a car with an umbrella down the sidewalk, shapes branded onto a delicacy made with melted sweetness, "like dalgona?"

your question gets a more prominent reaction out of her. sae-byeok snaps her head up, sitting a little straighter in her position. you're puzzled by the revelation dawning upon her features. 

"what? what is it?"

if sae-byeok had intended to respond, she doesn't get a chance to. music starts playing from above, the classical tune from before, followed by the same woman's mechanical voice. 

"attention. the second game will begin shortly. please follow the staff's instructions and swiftly make your way towards the game hall. i will now repeat the instructions."

as the words are said once more, you direct your attention towards the girl, "looks like it's time to go," you shift to the edge of the mattress, landing softly on the steps. before you retreat down them, you spare her another look, sending her a soft smile, "good luck, kang sae-byeok."

when you reach the bottom of the steps, you sneakily fall into line with ji-yeong. she seems to be in a better mood now that she's had breakfast and time to fully wake up. as you shuffle forward in the line, there's a cheeky grin on her face. 

"looks like it went well. you're blushing."

even if that had been a lie before, her pointing it out makes your face feel hot with embarrassment, "i am not." you deny with a huff. 

she laughs, "you totally are."

you go through the same halls as before, once again being disoriented by which direction you're being led to. for all you know, you could've been sent to the same place as last time, or you've ended up in an entirely new area. 

when you reach the game hall, the first thing you notice is the large playground in the center. there's a slide, a swing set, a round a bout, and a tall structure with a multitude of metal bars to climb and swing from. 

the room itself is painted blue like the sky, every inch of the walls displaying blue clouds that look like they've been drawn by a child. there's dirt on the floor, like you've been put into a huge sandbox, and picket fences line the walls that alternate between the colors, green, red and yellow.

at the far end of the room, five masked figures with triangles on their faces stand in front of four shapes. a circle, a triangle, a star and an umbrella. 

"players. welcome to the second game. we will begin shortly."

"if they ask me to climb that thing, i'm out." ji-yeong whispers to you. 

"don't joke like that." you scold.

"players," you and ji-yeong snap your lips shut, "before the second game begins, choose one of the four available shapes you see on the walls. once you've chosen your shape, please stand in front of it."

murmurs erupt across the room as players shift their attention between each shape, considering. you find yourself doing the same. it's hard to think it through rationally, because thus far, there are no hints as to what the shapes mean and how they may benefit you in the game. 

"you think there's something special behind it? like an advantage?" ji-yeong asks. 

"maybe," you mumble absentmindedly, still torn between which shape to choose. you turn towards ji-yeong, "have you made a decision yet?"

she hums, thinking, then lifts her hand to point at the yellow shape in the center. 

"the star?" you clarify, sending her a confused glance. you thought she'd go for the umbrella. ji-yeong has always liked going for things out of the ordinary, qualities that stand out. it's exactly why she pierced her nose and dyed her hair with brown streaks. 

" 'cause i'm a star." she explains simply, flashing you a grin before proceeding to walk towards the line that's began to form. 

you watch her leave, hesitant to follow her. you glance between each shape, still feeling uncertain as to which one to choose. you aren't like ji-yeong. you can't make a decision so carelessly, not when it may cost you your life. but anything could be behind those doorways. do you choose something simple like the circle, or take a leap of faith and go for something that grabs your attention? one not like the rest?

when the speaker urges players to make a decision quick, you take a step towards the line of umbrellas, only to pause at the sound of a low, feminine voice.

"i wouldn't choose that one."

you turn, finding sae-byeok standing right behind you. you aren't sure if you're more surprised by her sudden appearance or the cryptic warning she just gave you, "what?"

"choose triangle." she says. 

you frown, angling your body to face her fully, "do you know what the game is?"

sae-byeok doesn't respond. she just brushes past you, going towards the line formed behind the three pointed shape. this time, hesitancy doesn't root you to the ground, preventing you from moving. in fact, you don't even question how sae-byeok knows or why she's helping you, placing your trust in her words. 

you stand behind her, realizing how tall she is, her frame easily towering over your own. someone gets into line behind you, standing too close, which forces you to shuffle forward, nearly bumping into sae-byeok's back. with so little space in between you two, you can feel her warmth radiating off of her body, and you can smell pine needles and something else, distinctly her. 

that nervous flutter brushes against the bones of your ribs. 

"the time to select your shape has ended. i will now explain the rules of the game."

four doors open where the shapes are depicted on the walls, revealing circle guards and a table full of thin, circular containers inside. 

"all players, please take one case each from the table at the front of your line."

there's a shuffle of movement, dirt getting picked up by shoes, questioning whispers passing from person to person. at the front of the line, the guard hands you the container, which you accept with both hands and a short bow. you then turn, scanning the room for a place to sit, spotting sae-byeok seated against the climbing structure. ji-yeong is no where to be found amongst the already seated players, so you settle down across from sae-byeok. 

once everyone has been handed their containers, the speaker comes to life once more. 

"please take a moment to open the case and check the contents."

you do so carefully, lifting one side of the lid before removing it completely. inside, there's a dalgona, a triangle branded into the center.

and right on top of it, staring at you menacingly, is a needle. 

you feel sick to your stomach as the dread forms. 

'wait. they don't expect us to-'

"the second game is dalgona. the shape you have chosen is the shape you must remove from the honeycomb. the time limit is ten minutes. you will pass if you trim out the shape without it breaking or cracking within the time limit." 

the moment the rules sink in, you feel relief flood through your body. thank goodness you didn't end up choosing the umbrella. you owe sae-byeok your life for warning you before you made that mistake. your relief, however, is short lived, swiftly turning into worry. although the star isn't the hardest, it might be difficult for ji-yeong to complete it with all those points, especially if she isn't being careful. 

"with that, let the game begin." 

the timer starts, ticking down steadily from the ten minute mark. you glance back down at your shape. 

'just focus on finishing this. then you can worry about her.'

it's eerily quiet in the playground. you imagine that everyone's throats are clogged with fear, tongue tied with terror. as the seconds tick down, the silence breaks in short intervals. the nervous breathing as someone take's apart their dalgona. panicked curses when hands won't stop trembling. the scrape of a needle against the surface of the hard sugar. 

it takes you nearly two minutes to thin out one of the lines of the triangle. your movements are careful as you gently carve out the shape, teeth gnawing insistently on your bottom lip, hard enough to produce blood. it's difficult to find a balance between not applying too much pressure while being mindful of the time ticking loudly in your ears, warning you of the emptying hourglass. 

you hold your breath when you hold up your dalgona, hesitating for a split second before quickly snapping off one part of the triangle. it breaks cleanly, exposing one side. you exhale in relief. 

one down, two more sides to go. 

BANG !

the sound of a gunshot makes you jump, nearly dropping your dalgona. you turn your head towards the source, spotting an armed guard at the top of the slide. and falling down it, leaving a trail of blood, is a player. 

"player 369, eliminated."

the man's death seems to trigger the rest of it, like a plague that spreads to those unfortunate enough to contract it. more and more gunshots echo across the space, more and more bodies dropping like flies into the soft dirt. more than one person has begged the guards to spare them, to give them another chance, but their pleas go unheard, and soon enough, their voices go silent. 

when there are only four minutes left, the first person passes. 

"player 111, pass."

from that point forward, others start completing their tasks, finally being escorted out of the room and away from death's deadly touch. you focus on scraping down the final side of your dalgona, simultaneously listening for ji-yeong's number to be called out.  

"player 67, pass."

you glance up, noticing sae-byeok's perfectly cut triangle that she holds up to a guard. she lowers it, briskly walking out of the room, but not before sparing you a quick glance over her shoulder. 

the final side of your dalgona breaks, leaving just the triangle in your trembling hands. you lift your head, presenting the treat to the armed masked figure hovering nearby. when you hear your number get called out, you briefly flutter your eyes shut, tension unwinding from your body. 

"player 68, pass."

you shakily stand on your feet, legs feeling weak despite the fact that you've been granted another chance to live. you follow another player who just recently finished carving out their shape, stepping over dead bodies and passing weeping individuals. 

you exit the playground, but not before hearing the call of another player that's successfully passed the round. 

"player 240, pass."

Chapter Text

ji-yeong, despite her short stature, is easy to spot amongst the sea of players entering the room. she's hidden behind a group of men that tower over her frame, but as soon as a gap forms in their tightly formed pack, she stands out amongst the crowd with her short hair and bored expression. 

your feet carry you across the room, not stopping until you crash into her body. ji-yeong releases a surprised grunt at the impact, and she complains about how clingy you're being as you crush her with a hug. but she doesn't shove you away, simply patting your back in a comforting manner while exhaling a soft, bemused breath. 

"i knew the star was a bad idea." you say as you pull back and drop your hands. ji-yeong tilts her lips into a lazy smile.

"i passed didn't i?" she responds, tone full of unwavering cockiness. you shoot her a deadpan look, but it gets the opposite effect you desired when she continues with a shrug, "it was pretty easy actually. this guy was using his spit to soften the dalgona which gave me the idea to do the same." 

you crinkle your nose in disgust at the image that forms in your mind. although it sounds effective, the thought of how soggy the sweet was afterwards makes something uncomfortable crawl down your spine.

"gross." you comment, which makes her laugh. 

"attention players. i will now announce the results of the second game."

both your heads are lifted towards the screen at the front of the room, unyielding focus directed to the number of players displayed across it. the numbers go down rapidly at the same time the money goes up, indicating just how carelessly a singular life is exchanged for some cash. as it finally starts to slow down, nearing the end of the results, the lights grow dimmer, engulfing everyone in monetary darkness. 

"out of the 187 players who participated, 79 players were eliminated."

that's only 108 of you left. 

stacks of cash start falling from the metal chute in the ceiling, landing in the heaping pile already sitting inside. even though it's not the first time you've seen the soft yellow glow of the large glass object, the sound effects that make your pulse race, the wonder of it all hasn't faded one bit. 

"the prize money accumulated this round is 7.9 billion won. the total prize money accumulated so far is now 34.8 billion won."

the lights come back on, bringing you all back to reality. you blink, fighting away the wonder still dimming your senses. 

"attention. your mealtime begins now."

"perfect. i'm starving." ji-yeong declares, getting into line. you trail after her, agreeing with the sentiment. your breakfast wasn't very filling, and while the hunger momentarily disappeared during the game, replaced by terror, it's returned with a vengeance. you feel it gnawing in your stomach, eating away at your insides. 

as you wait in line, you and ji-yeong try to guess what kind of meal you'll be given. it's likely that it'll just be a repeat of yesterdays, but you hold onto the hope that they'll switch things up. ji-yeong is confident that they'll put meat in today's meal, while you think they'll settle for something simpler that doesn't have to be served warm. like bibimbap. 

but when you reach the front of the line, all you're handed is a bottle of what you presume to be soda and a singular hardboiled egg. 

at first, you thought it was some sort of mistake, but the guard remains utterly still and silent, not moving until you accept both items. you and ji-yeong settle into your seats from the day before, on the steps near the wall. you both stare at your egg, which feels so small in your hands you can't help but wonder if it has to be a cruel joke by the game developer. 

"this sucks." ji-yeong declares, pursing her lips into a pout. you hum in agreement, feeling disappointed by the laughable sight before you, along with a sense of unease. 

as you begin peeling away the shell, you ponder over this growing sensation in the pit of your stomach, different from your hunger. something feels off about all this. are they intentionally starving you? but for what purpose? is it to get rid of the weak players in preparation of tomorrow's game? 

your meal is devoured within three bites, and of course, it's not enough. your stomach only seems to rumble even more, screaming at you to feed it. you try to drown it out by drinking from the bottle, but those brief periods of peace never last for long. 

ji-yeong leans her body back, muttering complaints beneath her breath. every so often, her face will twist slightly in discomfort, eyes fluttering shut as if to will away the feeling. she places her palm flat over her stomach, like she's trying to soothe the gnawing sensation. 

"uh, i didn't get anything. where's the rest?"

your eyes snap towards the front of the room, where only one line of players waiting to get their food remain. at the commotion, ji-yeong sits back up, setting her inquisitive gaze on the scene below. 

"hey, we didn't get our meals either!" a woman chimes in. she turns, counting each person off with her fingers, "five meals are missing sir."

"we prepared food for the exact number of players." the guard responds, unfeeling for her growing desperation. 

"then where is ours?" the man demands. when they don't respond, he rushes forward, "please sir, we need to eat!" 

the player doesn't get far. faster than you can blink the guard is pulling out a pistol, not as threatening as the rifles that the triangle guards carry around, but dangerous nonetheless. the player backs off immediately. 

"it was prepared for the exact number." he repeats. 

"excuse me!"

everyone turns at the sound of a girl's voice coming from the back of the room. when you shift your own attention, you spot a woman standing up, determination and unease fighting for a place on her expression. she glances to her left, then points at the tattooed man and his group, "it was them. they skipped the line and got seconds. i saw it."

all at once, everyone turns their attention to player 101 and his small alliance. at first, he ignores their lingering stares, stuffing the rest of his boiled egg into his mouth. but the attention never wavers, going so far as to become searing, and beneath the scrutiny of everyone's criticism, he scowls, "hey, what's the matter, everybody? jeez. you never see a guy eat before, is that it? shit."

player 271, the guy who'd been the first to notice the lack of food, storms over to him. he lifts up an accusatory finger, "who do you think you are? that's my food you just ate."

"ah," player 101 exclaims, pretending to be remorseful of the man's situation, "so, uh, is this yours?" he holds up the bottle, shaking it mockingly, "is your name on it? 'cause i sure don't see anything."

the rest of his group laughs, the chuckles and giggles carrying every note of mockery. player 271 flushes in anger and embarrassment. 

"i'm sorry." player 101 says, just as insultingly as his sneering laughter. then he takes a swig from the bottle. 

this final display of blatant disrespect breaks something inside player 271. he rushes forward, only this time, there is no gun to stop him as he reaches for the bottle, "give me that!"

both men struggle to fight the other off, battling for possession of the bottle. as a result of the less than careful movements, liquid spills, landing on their faces, their clothes, and also the floor. when player 101 shoves the other man, their hold slips, and the bottle falls onto the ground with the loud sound of shattering glass.

both men pause, staring at the broken pieces. player 101 is calm only for a brief moment, partially due to the shock of what just occurred, before his anger builds in one big swoop, "you little shit, goddammit." he grabs a fistful of the man's shirt, walking forward as he stumbles back in fear, "why'd you break it, you jerk? how was this, huh?"

he throws his fist in a powerful punch, knocking the player to the ground. people gasp, others stand up, but no one dares to move forward. 

"how come a scrawny guy like you is so greedy about food? you piece of shit!" he sends another hit to his body, this time in the form of a swift kick. the man groans, turning over. "hey, listen up." he accentuates every word with a kick, the player's pained groans filling the air, "you should learn to share. is it too hard you dumbass?"

no one stops him. not even the guards do anything to end the brutal scene. whether that's due to fear or downright cowardice, it's hard to tell. you imagine the surrounding player's muscles have also frozen into place, the blood rushing in their ears as they watch the unbalanced fight take place. everyone just stares, listening to the sickening crunch of his bones, the sounds pulled from his throat that eventually cease into nothing. 

player 101 breathes heavily as he stares down at player 271's crumbled form. he then staggers back to his group, leaning down to pick up a piece of the bottle that still holds liquid inside. as he lifts it to his lips and drinks from it, sang-woo stands up, hesitantly walking over to the fallen player. he crouches down, shaking him gently as he calls out to him softly.

the man doesn't move.

sang-woo presses his fingers against his pulse. what he feels or doesn't feel causes him to go still. dread stirs in your stomach.

"is he-" ji-yeong begins, cutting off as the words get lost in her throat. you swallow thickly, unable to respond. you think you know the answer, but maybe if you don't say it out loud, you can believe that it isn't true. 

"uh, hello, guards!" player 456 lifts his head, panic in his voice, "can someone do something?"

murmurs spread from person to person, the reality of the situation sinking in as the truth slowly forms in their minds. player 456 stares at the guards, but they don't respond, let alone move. 

 hey! didn't you hear that?" he shouts. he stumbles to his feet, storming over to the guards, "a person died!" he points to the fallen player, who you notice with startling clarity that his chest fails to rise and fall in steady increments, and there's blood spilled on the floor. 

player 456 stops in front of the square guard. he barely even flinches. 

"that man there just died! look, that man was killed," he shifts his attention to player 101, who avoids his eyes, "that bastard... that bastard just killed him!"

when it becomes clear that the guards don't seem to care, he faces the room, glancing around wildly. his attention snags on the cameras placed throughout, directing his frustrated shouting to the unknown entity that sits behind the devices.

"he just killed someone over there! he just died! can't you hear me? huh? help us now! a man just died! we shouldn't be killing each other like this!"

it takes only several seconds for him to get a response. 

"player 271, eliminated."

the number on the screen goes from 108 to 107. several wads of cash are them promptly  dropped into the pig. 

that's all he amounted to in here. a couple bills. 

the door opens. the sound of the guard's footsteps as they enter the room, carrying a box, echoes eerily throughout the space. as brutal as it is, as much as your stomach lurches, you can't tear your eyes away from the scene. how they lift his body and place him inside of it. how they seal the lid, then carry him away without a word. 

there's a splatter of blood on the floor, the last physical reminder of the man's death. no one bothers to clean it up, leaving it there like some bad omen. 

-

thirty minutes are left until lights out. since then, you and ji-yeong have parted ways to your respective beds, despite your reluctance to split up. call it paranoia, but something in your gut tells you that it's better to stick together. that something bad is about to happen. but despite your anxious state, ji-yeong just brushes your worries off with a smile and a teasing remark.

that's how you find yourself sitting on your bed, alone. you hug your legs to your chest, resting your chin on top of your knees. your fingers pick at a loose string on your pants, pulling the thread from the fabric and twirling it mindlessly between your fingers. even being alone, granted enough space to properly think, doesn't get rid of the sinking feeling of your heart. 

"hey, pickpocket."

the familiar voice draws you away from your inner turmoil, momentarily distracting you from the rushing thoughts. you shift your attention down, to where player 456 approaches a girl sitting on the steps, leaning against the metal frame of a bed. it doesn't take you long to recognize the messy curls. 

she lifts her head, peering up at the man with large, puzzled eyes. he sighs, pressing his lips into a thin line, "you okay? it looked like you and that thug really had it out for each other."

sae-byeok shifts her gaze away for a moment, thinking, before turning back towards him, "so what?"

instead of answering the question directly, he nods his head towards an unknown point over his shoulder, "tonight, if anything happens, we'll all meet in my bed right there." he points towards it, "are you in?"

she stares at him for a long time, her features still and impossible to read. when she finally glances away, her words come out cold, "i don't trust people. and that's twice as true for anyone who'd end up in here. got it?"

"you think that's how it works, huh?"

she refuses to meet his eyes, defiant.

"listen," his tone takes on a gentler note, like a father talking to a daughter, "you don't trust people here because you can. you do it because you don't have anyone else."

while sae-byeok still refuses to lift her head, opting instead to glare at the floor, her expression changes, just slightly. a thought forms between her brows, her eyes creasing as she takes his words and considers them. player 456 exhales in resignation, before turning to leave. 

you lead back into your bed, pursing your lips. you feel guilty about eavesdropping, but it's not like you did it on purpose. you just happened to be close enough to pick up on their conversation, and it's not exactly easy to tune the words out, not when it's sae-byeok involved, a reason you still don't quite fully understand. 

you hear footsteps coming up the stairs near your bed. you turn, met with a head of messy curls and large brown eyes. sae-byeok. 

she stops, then angles her body to face your own, her intense stare unwavering. she doesn't ask to sit down, but you're almost positive that's what she wants. she doesn't have to say it out loud, not when you can clearly read her body language telling you the things she can't seem to form into words. 

you scoot back, creating a spot directly across from you, and she settles in without a word, lithely lowering her body onto the mattress. she folds her legs neatly against her chest, her back resting along the metal structure. her eyes are lowered as she reaches into her pocket, searching for something inside. you hear the crinkle of plastic, catch a glimpse of an orange pastry. 

a piece of bread wrapped in plastic is finally revealed, and kang sae-byeok is holding it out in your direction, her eyes now on your own as she urges you to take it. 

you smile, heart moving at an unnatural speed at her kind gesture. but as enticing as it is, especially with your growing hunger, you know sae-byeok has eaten even less than you have. 

you shake your head, "i'm okay. you eat it. it's your breakfast after all."

she blinks, a frown ghosting along her lips. she slowly lowers it, staring down at the food with a thoughtful expression, accompanied by something almost like disappointment. her fingers begin toying idly with the edge of the plastic, before she brings up her other hand and tears it open. the bread sits in her hand. 

then, in yet another gesture that both baffles you and melts you down, she breaks it in half and offers the piece to you. 

"payment," she states, her face aloof and unmoving, but it doesn't take away the warmth she emanates, "for the ointment."

a laugh slips from your lips, "you already paid me back though," sae-byeok scrunches her face in confusion, prompting you to clarify, "you warned me about the game. i wouldn't have survived without you."

"that's only because you figured it out."

"i did?" you frown, then recall your earlier conversation, "oh yeah. i guess i did." you'd been so preoccupied on everything that's happened that you'd forgotten about it entirely. 

finding no other way around it, you accept her offer, thanking her quietly with a tiny smile. sae-byeok doesn't return it with one of her own, which fills you with only a brief flash of disappointment. you've yet to see her smile out of sincerity. only in amusement, and that was when she'd been taunting someone, like player 456 and player 101. you wonder what it would look like if sae-byeok smiled freely, unabashedly, without restraint. 

you're sure it'd be beautiful. 

you take a small bite of your food, eating slower than earlier so you can savor the meal. you'd expected sae-byeok to leave now that she's repaid her debt, but her presence lingers, remaining seated across from you. she's even started eating her own half of the pastry, looking like a squirrel as she curls in on herself and munches on the bread. you stifle a laugh at the sight. 

your eyes then drift to different points of the room, spotting small groups of players huddled in corners and conversing quietly with one another. it looks like nearly everyone has formed some sort of alliance in these games. 

you attention then shifts to the timer at the top, indicating how much time is left until lights out. less than five minutes left. the warmth in your stomach, which had arisen because of sae-byeok, now disappears and gets replaced with your earlier dread.

you then look at sae-byeok, who looks so small then, quietly taking small bites of her food. you're hit with the sudden urge to protect her. to lay your life down for her own. it's strange to have such an intense emotion for someone you barely know, but you've already determined that your connection to sae-byeok runs deeper than the normal passage of time. 

"i heard you talking to that man."

sae-byeok stops. slowly lifts her head. her stare is quizzical for a sliver of a second, then becomes indecipherable, "what did you hear?"

"enough," you reply vaguely. you lower your piece of bread, burning holes into the ground as you consider your next words carefully. it's not your place to tell her what to do, but you figured you'd have a try at convincing her to take player 456's offer, "i think you should go to him."

sae-byeok frowns.

at the perplexed look reflecting in her eyes, you do another slow scan of the room, "there's this energy in the air that feels...wrong. something bad is about to happen," you return your focus to her face, "being in a group can help protect you."

sae-byeok doesn't respond at first. though her silence makes you nervous, she doesn't dismiss your reasoning, and it at least appears like she's considering your words. you wish you could take a peek into her mind, to know exactly what she's thinking when she finally looks into your eyes and deliberately scans your face, dragging her eyes from the shape of your eyes to the slope of your cheeks, the thin line your lips form. 

she blinks again, then states firmly, "come with me."

your entire body goes still, shock surely written upon your face. you weren't expecting that. you can't even begin to unravel why kang sae-byeok, who just said she didn't trust anyone in this game, would ask you to tag along. it didn't seem like something she'd decide spontaneously. she must've thought it through carefully, weighing every pro and con of inviting you to stay by her side, but you're still not sure what possessed this distant girl to allow you in her space. 

"is that really wise? you said you don't trust anyone. especially people in here." you meant it as a lighthearted joke, but sae-byeok looks entirely serious when she responds. 

"i don't trust strangers." she clarifies.

your heart skips a couple beats at the implication, or maybe it was just one long drawn out falter in its rhythm, momentarily pausing all other functions of your body before resuming with newfound purpose. 

'she doesn't think of you as strangers.'

you crack a smile at the revelation. 

"lights out in 30 seconds."

people scramble to their beds, rushed voices breaking out across the room. sae-byeok gets up, but her presence seems to linger, her eyes not quite being able to part from your own, her stare unreadable and just as intense as usual. when it hits twenty seconds, she finally turns to leave. 

something comes over you then. an emotion so intense you can't place it. it hums beneath your skin, rushing through your blood and driving every decision you make. 

without thinking, you reach out and tug on her wrist, fingers wrapping loosely around her soft, warm skin. her pulse jumps, a fact you don't get the chance to dwell on as she turns her head and peers down at you with her large, questioning eyes. 

"if something happens..." you swallow thickly, brushing your thumb over the beating pulse. it jumps once more, firmer this time, which helps you finalize your decision, "i'll come to you."

there's a second of stillness. then sae-byeok is nodding her head, acknowledging your words, before retreating  around the steps to her own bed. you release a breath, then lay down flat on the mattress, staring up with unseeing eyes. 

ten.

nine.

eight.

your heartbeat pounds against your chest, trying to rip itself free from its veins and break through your ribcage. 

seven.

six.

five.

your fingers twist around the covers so tightly you feel the muscles ache with the effort. 

four.

a weight settles on top of your chest. 

three.

you suck in a sharp breath. 

two.

the dread pools within your stomach. 

one.

the lights shut off, engulfing the world in darkness. for a couple brief seconds, everything is still, untouched by the passage of time, and you can almost fool yourself into thinking that your paranoia had been for nothing. that tonight is like any other, and there'd be no need to seek comfort in the impending storm. 

then you hear it. echoes of sounds in the dark, cloaked within the unknown. the rustle of movement. soft footsteps. heavy breathing. 

a blood curdling scream breaks through the tense atmosphere, shattering the calm as chaos erupts. 

you jolt up from your bed, frantically searching in the dark for the source, but it's difficult to see past the shadows swallowing the room and all the figures blurring past as they run. the lights come back on, but only in brief flashes, making the disorder even more disorienting than before. 

the world tips over, taking you down with it. 

someone has pushed the metal structure of your bed, causing it to crash against the one right beside it. you stifle a scream as you latch your fingers around the cold metal beams, bracing for impact. when it hits the ground, it shakes, causing your grip to slip. you land with an impact so hard it knocks the air from your lungs, shooting a sharp pain throughout your entire body. 

you don't allow yourself a moment to catch your breath, not with the danger closing in on you. you shakily push yourself up, trying to navigate through the dark. even the flashing lights don't help. if anything, it only makes it harder to adjust. 

you just need to find ji-yeong, then sae-byeok. 

you call out your friend's name, glancing wildly around the room. but there's so much going on, and ji-yeong could be anywhere. if she is smart, which she is, she'd have found a place to hide or joined up with a group that could protect her. 

you freeze, gasping for breath when you're hit with the vague sensation of someone pressing down on your windpipes. your fingers ghost over your throat, but there's nothing there to restrict your breathing, which can only mean one thing. 

sae-byeok is in trouble. 

you run, pushing past other players as you search for her head of messy curls. you start to think it's hopeless, especially with everything happening all at once, the darkness cloaking everyone's features with a mask. 

but then you hear her. her grunts of pain.

you follow the sound, pausing momentarily at the scene. a player stands behind her, gritting his teeth as he wraps a pillowcase around her neck. sae-byeok struggles in his hold, clawing her fingers over his own to pry him off, kicking her legs in the air. 

and player 101, he's approaching her with a piece of broken glass.  

you grab the nearest object, an abandoned blanket, and throw it over his head while pushing him as hard as you can. he falls to the ground, cursing as he fumbles in the dark to get it off. the momentary confusion, both from player 101 and his friend is enough for sae-byeok to break free. both bodies crash into the beds, then onto the floor. 

you don't waste a second to rush towards her side where she pants on the ground, fingers ghosting over her neck. you place a hand on her shoulder, examining her features with rapt intensity. thankfully, she doesn't seem too injured, and you don't feel anything other than the distant ache on your back and around your neck. 

she glances up, the dark pools holding what you think is relief, and something else too, similar to a tender emotion people keep close to their heart. but fear poisons the color, flashing in her eyes as her lips part with urgency. 

sae-byeok yanks you down, but not until you feel a sharp, burning pain down your arm. a cry is ripped from your throat, fingers instinctively pressing down on the tender spot. you glance up, faced with player 101, a murderous look in his slanted eyes. 

sae-byeok gets to her feet, thrusting the sharp end of a pocket knife into his side. he grunts, threading his fingers through her hair and yanking roughly. you feel your own scalp burn at the sensation, snapping you out of your shock. 

you step forward to help, only to get pulled off your feet in one swift movement. the same guy who'd been choking sae-byeok locks his arms around your waist, dragging you away. you kick and scream, clawing your nails down any inch of skin you can reach in an attempt to break free, but no matter how much damage you inflict on him, his strong grip doesn't falter. 

sae-byeok produces a pained cry at the same time you feel a sharp pain shoot through your wrist. you snap your head towards her, seeing flashes of her fight with player 101. her back slamming into the wall. her punches against his arms, which strain beneath the effort of locking his hands around her neck.

it becomes hard to breathe again. you feel black dots dance before your eyes, panic clawing up your throat.

'sae-byeok. i have to get to her. i have to help her.'

you clamp down your teeth around his wrist, not letting go until you taste blood on your tongue. the player curses, wrenching his fingers free, which gives you enough time to slip out of his grip. you spin on your heels, sending a swift kick between his legs, making him double over in pain. 

your attention locks back onto sae-byeok and player 101. her punches are growing weaker, her eyes becoming dazed and unfocused. you glance around, searching for something more effective than the blanket you'd used earlier. 

metal glints on the ground. 

you don't think it through as you pick it up. in fact, the world blurs around you, gaps in your memory that you can't get back. all you remember is marching over to player 101. stabbing the knife into his shoulder. digging it into his flesh until he releases sae-byeok and staggers back with a wretched curse. 

sae-byeok drops to the floor, gasping as she tries to crawl away. you crouch down, throwing her arm over your shoulder and pulling to her feet. sae-byeok staggers, unsteady, leaning almost all her weight against your body as she blinks at you with bleary eyes.

the two of you avoid the players running and giving chase, not stopping until you reach the door. you drop her arm, banging your fists desperately against the heavy metal, screaming until your lungs feel as they could burst, and your throat becomes scratchy from use. 

but the door remains closed. and no one answers your cry for help. 

your body is yanked back, and you realize with a start that the person who had down so was sae-byeok. a player had been coming in your direction, holding a jagged piece of glass in his hands. thanks to the girl, you managed to avoid him, narrowly, but another girl wasn't so lucky. 

fingers intertwine with your own, locking you and sae-byeok together as one. you don't get a chance to question the action, not before she's pulling you away, running towards the beds and the center of the chaos. you don't realize why until you see player 456, his face both relieved and surprised by your presence. 

"you're here."

"like you said." she pants out. 

the brief moment of comfort in safety is quickly tainted when player 456 looks over her shoulder, alarm marring his features. you and sae-byeok turn at the same time player 101 rushes forward, swinging the knife you stabbed him with in the air. player 456 reacts immediately, shoving the girl to the side, her grip around your hand tightening and pulling you to the ground. you recover more quickly than her, hastily tugging her up. 

player 101 and 456 have also landed on the floor, just several feet away from where you currently stand. while 456 rolls over with a groan, 101 jumps to his feet, aiming his anger and frustration to the fallen player. sae-byeok must quickly decipher what he plans to do, for she's wrenching herself free from your hold and rushing forward, her foot connecting with his ribs with deadly aim. 

the moment player 101 falls back, sae-byeok is yanked away, the harsh movement followed by a glass bottle hitting her head. it shatters on impact, a barely concealed scream ripping from her throat as she falls back to the ground. you feel the sharp pain in your own head, an insistent throbbing that clouds your vision and mind. 

you pick up one of the broken pieces, gripping it tightly in your hand. you don't care that one of the jagged ends breaks through the skin, tearing through flesh. all you care about is stabbing the sharp point into the man's arm, stumbling back the moment it takes root in his body. blood spills down from your palm and his arm, but you barely feel it, the adrenaline dulling the pain and heightening your senses. 

sang-woo and the south asian man join the fight, swinging large metal beams in their arms to ward off the attackers. player 199, with a strength you can barely comprehend, swings the heavy beam in all directions, the threat of it managing to force player 101 and his friends to step back. 

sae-byeok finally staggers to her feet. she stands to the left of player 456, who steadies her with his arm. your own frame takes the space on the other side of her, eyes locked on the sneer that curls player 101's lips. 

"hey, ssangmun-dong. what are you doing? we're just helping cull the herd." he laughs, the horrible sound of it making your blood boil with what you now recognize as hatred. 

player 456 gently guides sae-byeok back, protecting her from the threat before you, "she's our teammate, you got that?"

she looks up at him in surprise, like she can't fathom the idea of someone wanting her on their side. someone who is willing to put their life in front of her own for the sake of her survival. 

"teammate?" he repeats, turning his attention to the girl. player 101 looks as if he's ready to just rush forward and blindly swing the knife clutched tightly in his hands, but a new voice, a little raspy and worn, shouts over the noise and chaos of the room. 

"all of you, stop this!"

everyone lifts their heads, searching for the person who spoke. it sounded high up, in a place out of reach. eventually, through the blur of flashing lights, you manage to spot player one standing on one of the top bunks near the right side of the room. 

"i'm...i...i'm scared," at first, you're unsure as to who exactly he's talking to. is it the players in the room, or the cameras? "we are all gonna die in here! everyone, every single one of us is going to die!" 

he repeats the words over and over again, his tone growing more desperate and stricken with terror. it didn't seem likely that anyone would respond though. the guards watched as player 271 was beaten to death, and they didn't do a single thing to prevent it. who's to say they'll care whether everyone in this room ends up dying and no victor is crowned? 

but then the world swallowed by the light, and you feel a little hope form in your chest when the doors open. 

a group of triangle guards rush in, carrying their signature riles. and yet, the relief you'd felt when they entered disappears when they point the barrels towards the ceiling and pull the triggers. 

the gunshots echo in the air, ricocheting off the walls and harmonizing with the frightened screams that rip from player's throats. you flinch at the loud sound, shifting closer to sae-byeok, who reaches for your hand and tangles them with your own. you're not sure if she did it on purpose, or if it was an unconscious thought, if she even realizes that her hands are wound around your own so tightly you'd think she was afraid to let go. 

the guards reach all corners of the room, pointing their guns at players and backing them into corners. when they reach you and sae-byeok, this time it's her who moves closer in your direction. 

"drop your weapon. turn around."

there's a beat of silence. you and sae-byeok share a look, but you can't read whatever it is she's saying with her eyes. not when she's glancing away just as quickly and dropping your hand. you swallow thickly, then shakily lift your arms in surrender and shakily turn around. 

they check your pockets, confiscating any weapons that you still possess. with the lights now on, you can see the current state of the room. beds have been knocked over. players stand sporting more injuries than they received in previous games. there are piles of dead bodies scattered across. and blood. so much blood. it paints every surface, including yourself.

the adrenaline previously coursing through your body finally simmers down into nothing, causing the pain to return with a reverence. it presses sharply down your arm and your palm, throbbing in your head and neck,  a little in your back. it's hard to distinguish between which hurt belongs to you and which belongs to sae-byeok. 

eliminated players are called out. thankfully, ji-yeong's number isn't amongst them, so while you still fail to spot her in the room, you can be assured that she's alive somewhere.

when the guards finally leave, you find yourself and several other players huddled on the steps near player 456's bed. you sit next to sae-byeok, bodies closer than necessary. every subtle shift causes your shoulders to brush and your knee's to press together, her warmth seeping through her clothes and into your own. neither of you move away. perhaps the comfort of that sensation is too sweet to part with. 

sae-byeok is distracted though. the girl is staring at her palm, eyebrows furrowed in thought, utterly confused. she looks like she's searching for something that isn't there, and she can't understand why. 

"what's wrong?" you press gently, leaning in closer. her hand is relatively unscathed. there's blood on her fingers, but you don't think the sight of it is enough to warrant such a strange emotion on her face.

"nothing." she dismisses flatly, briefly fluttering her eyes shut as she drops her hand into her lap. you frown, but you don't poke at the issue any longer. it doesn't seem like something she wants to talk about. 

"how's your head?" you ask instead, remembering how a glass bottle had shattered upon the impact.

tentatively, you reach your fingers toward her hair, not really thinking much of the action. you'd just wanted to soothe away the ache with your touch, perhaps even check for any blood. but sae-byeok is quicker, latching her fingers around your hand, stopping you. 

an apology balances precariously on the tip of your tongue, but it never falls, because once again, sae-byeok's puzzled look has returned to her face. her focus is locked on your hand, her lips pulled down into a deep frown. you follow her line of sight, noting the deep gash running from the bottom of your pointer finger down to your wrist. 

in a manner so gentle, she lowers your hand, inspecting it. her fingers just barely pass over the injury. 

"ah. that," you mumble, trying to calm your racing pulse, which her fingers are dangerously close to touching, "i used a piece of glass as a weapon, but i held it too hard."

sae-byeok doesn't say anything. she just stares for another moment, then promptly removes her hands. her eyes avoid your own, the dark brown color directed towards the ground where she stares intensely at it, burning holes into the surface as she burrows further into her thoughts. 

you don't understand it. not one bit. 

"are you okay?"

player 456 is leaning towards player one, his voice so quiet and gentle it calms every negative emotion still stirring in your body. 

the old man lifts his head, blinking confusedly at the younger man, "huh?"

"all of the..." he gestures vaguely to the top of the bunk where he'd stood previously, "that was dangerous. when did you get up there?"

"we were worried about you sir, when you disappeared." player 199 chimes in. 

"nobody here got hurt, so that's good." sang-woo says. 

player 456 rests his elbows against his knees, glancing at every single person in your small makeshift group, "uh, well, at this point, we should know what to call each other. why don't we go around and tell each other our names now."

"i know your name already though," player 199 points out, smiling wide, "ssangmun-dong."

player 456 laughs, "ssangmun-dong is just my hometown. the name is seong gi-hun. seong gi-hun of ssangmun-dong."

player 199 nods in understanding, appearing a little embarrassed by his mistake. sang-woo leans down, nudging his leg gently to get his attention, "so then, what about your name?"

his face immediately brightens, "ali. ali abdul."

"and where are you from?" gi-hun asks. 

"pakistan."

"pakistan?" he repeats, saying the word like it's foreign on his tongue, "where is that?

"north of india." sang-woo replies. 

"he's right." ali confirms. 

gi-hun places his hand on sang-woo's shoulder, "of course he is. this man here went to SNU for business-"

"cho sang-woo." he cuts in before gi-hun could blabber on, offering his name to ali. 

then, all at once, all heads turn towards you and sae-byeok, their faces patient but expectant. 

you offer your own name and hometown with a tiny, unsure smile. they bow their heads slightly in greeting, then all eyes are on the girl.

sae-byeok glances between each face, her eyebrows furrowing slightly in exasperation when she realizes they are serious about introducing each other, "come on, really?"

gi-hun clicks his tongue, "we're all teammates here now. we should really know about each other, build up a little trust, okay?"

sae-byeok looks like she'd rather do anything other than comply, looking gi-hun up and down with a distasteful look. but either she's more soft heartened then she looks, or she's starting to trust gi-hun, for she lowers her eyes and mumbles out her name, "kang sae-byeok."

"sae-byeok?" gi-hun echoes, "that's a pretty name. though i'm not sure how well it fits."

it's obvious that gi-hun is teasing her, but you're not sure if sae-byeok caught onto that fact. she glances back in his direction, her eyes sharp and a little annoyed. 

ali breaks the momentary silence by turning his attention towards the old man, "and what is your name sir? if you don't mind."

the man slowly turns his head, "what?" he mumbles, completely lost in the current conversation, "my name? oh. it...let me think."

this goes on for several seconds. each time player one is about to say his name, his eyes cloud over with confusion, and it slips from his mind. everyone's faces shift into that of pity as he struggles, sharing uneasy glances with one another. gi-hun finally puts him out of his misery. 

he clears his throat, releasing a chuckle as he places a hand on the man's shoulder, "it's okay. hey, old man, you must be really shook up today. you know when i'm stressed my home address slips right out of my head, along with my social security. it'll be okay once you get some rest."

you think it's sweet that gi-hun tried comforting the player. your first impression of him hadn't been the best, especially after he'd lied about leaving sae-byeok alone when she'd agreed to untie him. but you're starting to realize that he's a lot kinder than he let on, trusting easily and navigating life with a positive attitude. 

as the three older men start up another conversation, you move to get up, only to pause at the featherlight touch of someone's fingers around your wrist. you glance down, finding sae-byeok peering up at you. 

your eyes drift down, her own attention following, and both your gazes land on where her fingers hold your wrist, clearing preventing you from leaving. she looks even more surprised than you do, like she didn't realize what she was doing until it was already done. 

she hastily drops her hand, but her eyes remain on your own as she questions your sudden movements. 

"where are you going?"

"my friend. i need to find her." you explain. you haven't seen ji-yeong at all since the fight started. while it's clear she's not dead, her absence worries you. what if she is hurt somewhere? or she's stuck with people she doesn't want to be with? 

"it's too dangerous right now," gi-hun joins the conversation with a worried face, "those people could attack at any moment."

you hesitate, understanding their concern, yet it doesn't eliminate your own fear, "but-"

"did you hear her number get called?" sang-woo asks. 

you sigh, "no, i didn't."

"then she's probably safe," gi-hun smiles, guiding you back down into your seat. you do so without much protest, "don't worry. we'll look for her at the next game, okay?"

you nod, grateful for gi-hun's promising words. it reassures you enough to fight back the uneasy sensation coiling in your stomach, repeating it like a mantra in your head so you don't end up going crazy with unease. 

it's hard to sleep that night. paranoia creeps in once more, your eyes darting around the room and half expecting player 101 or his gang to return to finish off the job. but no one makes a move, all other participants remaining in their spots. some have even fallen into slumber, while others seem close to it. 

you fight back against it as much as you can, but exhaustion is just as heavy, especially when the lights turn off again, the darkness swallowing you whole. 

your eyes remain close for longer periods of time whenever they flutter shut. your mind goes dizzy with sleep, it's soothing voice luring you into faraway parts in your mind. your body tips to the side, landing against another, the crook of their shoulder the perfect place to nestle your head within. 

you inhale softly. they smell like pine needles and bark, along with something else that belongs distinctly to them. something light and soft is draped over your form, protecting you from the cold and dangers of the room. 

somehow, your hands find their way to the other person's own. this time, they don't tangle together. your palm simply rests over their hand. it trembles a little, and you feel something warm and sticky coat it, like blood. but you can't find it in yourself to care, not when their skin is so warm, and not when the steady beating of their pulse counts a rhythm that finally puts you to sleep. 

Chapter Text

you hear it, over and over again, playing like a broken record.

the sound of flesh tearing beneath the sharp end of a knife. the strangled cry of pain ripped from someone's throat. screams of terror grating against your ears, closing in on you with every flash of light that bursts before your eyes.

a warm, sticky substance coats your palms, running down your wrists and dripping onto the floor. you hear the sound of it fall, the pitter patter like a raindrop. the moment of impact echoes across the space, before the scene repeats with the same motions and sensations once more.

you're stuck there in that memory. it's faded around the edges, like your mind doesn't want to remember it, but your other senses do. your ears pick up on the wretched sounds. your mouth tastes the heavy iron. your nose recognizes the stench of death.

and red. copious amounts of it pooling from an open wound, draining a person of their vitality.

the worst part is, you don't know who the blood belongs to.

does it spill from your own body, or someone else's?

do they hold the knife, or do you?

-

you didn't realize you had fallen asleep until the lights flash on and classical music plays from the speakers. you jump slightly in your seat, flinching at the unexpected onslaught of sensations hitting you all at once and thus startling you awake.

you blink away the fatigue plaguing your mind, each flutter of your eyes closing shut bringing an awareness of your surroundings. the fact that a soft blanket lays across your frame. the smell of pine needles to your left. the warmth of a body, your head buried in their neck, their cheek pressed against the top of your hair.

and someone's fingers tangled with your own. kang sae-byeok's fingers. you give a hesitant squeeze, but the feeling doesn't disappear. if anything, it becomes even more intense, solidifying what you already knew.

the fact that throughout the entire night, the two of you held on to one another like a lifeline, and not one of you had let go.

you slowly lift your head, finding sae-byeok doing the same. her eyes immediately shift down to your joined hands, where she stares quietly for a moment. her expression is unreadable but contemplative as she takes the sight of it in. what it means for a girl who doesn't trust anyone, who pushes people away in fear of being betrayed, seeking the comfort of your presence in such a vulnerable state.

when she glances up, the first thing you notice are her eyes. they are tired, reflected with exhaustion, dark circles prominent beneath them. then her hair. her curls, already unruly, stick up in different directions, making her look younger. and finally the blood. little splatters on her cheeks accompanying her freckles, streaks of red disappearing down her neck.

and yet she looks beautiful.

'how lucky i am to exist simultaneously to her. to be graced with her presence. to have her eyes look upon mine.'

you crack a smile, and you swear her face softens just a little. her eyes creasing gently at the corners, the tension between her brows and coiling around her muscles disappearing as she sags a little against the metal beam beside her, all her sharp edges smoothed down into a dull ache.

"hey old man."

you and sae-byeok turn at the same time player one does. gi-hun leans towards the older man, worry thickly coating his words.

"did you stay up all night?" he asks.

player one chuckles softly, which you think is his attempt at brushing off gi-hun's concern, "i thought they would attack again or something."

"old man, but you must be so exhausted already."

"it's all right. you don't really need that much sleep when you're old," he glances away, appearing a little guilty, "and i didn't help when they went after everyone," the man's expression transforms back into a tiny smile as he meets gi-hun's eyes once more, "but keeping night watch, well, i can do that."

your chest constricts a little at the man's words. player one is by far the oldest person in these games of death, and it's a miracle that he's made it this far. you think it has something to do with gi-hun, since the two of them seem pretty close. you're not sure why he would choose to come back to continue playing, but although you don't know player one that well, having never interacted with him up until this point, just based on your observations you can tell that he is a good person.

gi-hun lets out a long, drawn out sigh, like he's not entirely convinced by player one's myth about a change in sleeping patterns that comes with age, but if he had planned on pointing that detail out, he never gets the chance to, for the music comes back on, and the woman's voice over the speaker draws everyone's attention away.

"attention, players. the third game will begin momentarily. please follow the staff's instructions and swiftly make your way to the game hall. let me repeat the instructions."

with no choice but to comply, each of you work quickly to fold up your blankets and compose yourselves before joining the steadily growing line at the front of the room.

as you walk to the game hall, you find yourself trying to look past the players ahead of you, searching for a head of shortly cut hair with brown highlights. but either ji-yeong's short stature is effectively hidden by the tall surrounding players, or she's in the back of the line, for you don't spot even a glimpse of your friend.

her prolonged absence causes your current unease to grow.

you're worried about ji-yeong. after what happened last night, there's no telling what the girl experienced. was she alone? was she scared? even though she survived the night, what if she is badly injured?

'please be okay, ji-yeong. please.'

the game hall you enter is different than the first two games. you step into a white room, the walls and floor bare of any patterns or decorations that give it life. it feels barren of personality, like the hospital room your sister is currently staying in. not only is it cold, but it possesses that clinical edge that brings about unavoidable discomfort.

there are two floors to the room. you arrive via the second floor, which is more like a platform that runs along the wall. there are stairs that lead up, serving no purpose other than aesthetics, for another set of steps turns the corner and leads down into the first floor, where the rest of the space is empty.

"players, welcome to the third game. for this game, you will play in teams. all players, please divide yourselves into teams of ten people. your time limit will be ten minutes. ten minutes."

as the speaker repeats the instructions, your mind latches onto one particular detail. teams. this game will be played in groups. meaning, as long as you're on a team with ji-yeong and sae-byeok, you can help ensure their survival.

the only thing that worries you is the possibility of having to go against other players. so far all the games have been about your own set of skills, and you've never been in a situation where you have to deliberately go against another player to eliminate them for your own survival.

will you be able to do it? be responsible for someone's death just so you can live?

there's no doubt that you will. if you don't, you'll die, and you can't do that, not yet. not without getting the money for your sister's treatment. you suppose the real question you should be asking yourself is how will you continue living knowing that there's blood on your hands?

your small group of six stands off to the side in a small huddle, trying to figure out what kind of game you could be playing with this many players. as they discuss it, your eyes wander around the room, still in search of your friend.

"something that has teams of ten players. so maybe it's tail tag or why did you come to my house?"

it's gi-hun speaking, and you think you hear sang-woo sigh as he listens to his rambling.

"tail tag means running is involved. or it might just end up being simply based on luck. what do you think?"

"our team has an elderly man and two woman already. i think we need to find more men." sang-woo responds.

"what if they make us play gongi or elastics? then, what do we do?" gi-hun points out, "girls are usually the goods ones at that-"

"that's true, but statistically speaking, usually men are better at these games."

you falter in your frantic scanning of the room when you hear sang-woo's words. you know he's just being realistic. it is true that men are biologically stronger or faster in physical games, but it doesn't mean they are always the best. you know plenty of girls who can carry more weight or beat a boy in a race.

"each of us are betting with our lives," he continues, "and we gotta win."

gi-hun inhales sharply, making it evident that he doesn't agree with sang-woo, and no doubt wants to argue more. but you get the feeling that gi-hun and sang-woo have known each other for a long time, and gi-hun looks up to sang-woo. so even if he has some doubts, he always seems to trust his friend's judgement more.

"we need to get four more people. let's split up and bring one guy to join us."

just as sang-woo finishes his statement, you see her. short hair. out grown and faded highlights. her usual bored expression on her face. ji-yeong sits at the top of the steps, alone, and the sight of her fills you with so much relief you could sit down and cry.

you rush off without a word, ignoring gi-hun's startled voice yelling after you. all you care about is navigating through the throng of people and climbing up the steps to reach your friend. you're not even winded by the time you reach the top, not when ji-yeong is before you, appearing relatively unscathed.

"ji-yeong!" you exclaim.

she glances up at your outburst, pausing her previous motions of picking disinterestedly at her nails. when her eyes flit across your face and she takes in your bright smile, the corner of her lips twitch into her own grin.

you don't waste another second, running forward and throwing your arms around her in an embrace. the urge to cry returns, but you hold it in as you bury your face against her shoulder and listen to the comforting sound of her beating heart, not letting a single sign of her current vitality slip past. if you did cry, ji-yeong wouldn't let you forget about it.

"oh, so you do care about me." she says, her teasing tone causing you to sputter out a laugh.

you lean back, pulling your lips into a pout, "yah, come on. i looked for you yesterday but i couldn't find you. i swear."

her grin widens, "i know. i heard you screaming my name. ji-yeong! ji-yeong!" as she's mocking you, her voice takes on a higher note, her face feigning a desperate expression. it doesn't sound like you at all, but perhaps that's the whole point. to both lighten the mood and get back at you for leaving her alone an entire night.

you roll your eyes, shoving her lightly, "you're a jerk."

ji-yeong continues laughing despite your halfhearted shoves and insult, until slowly, your attempts cease, and her giggles reduce into a breathless sigh, "i was hiding under one of the beds. stayed there pretty much the whole night." she explains simply with a shrug, which helps ease your worry. at least she was able to avoid the bloodbath. ji-yeong's eyes slide to a point behind you, and her smile turns mischievous, a similar glint twinkling in her brown eyes, "i know exactly where you were, though."

you frown, confused by her comment until you turn and see sae-byeok hovering nearby. she's not close enough to join in the conversation, but just enough for other's to recognize that she's with you. like she's waiting for you.

'did she follow me here when i left?'

your cheeks heat up at the thought, your heart doing a funny thing in your chest where it jumps unexpectedly, melting and melting until you're left to wonder whether anything will be left by the time you glance away.

"our beds are close together, so we helped each other out." you mumble quietly, hating how shy you feel all of a sudden. you're sure it's written all over your face how affected you are by the whole situation, and ji-yeong, knowing you better than anyone, can see it.

"ah, i see." she replies, the playfulness in her eyes intensifying.

you clear your throat, swiftly changing the subject to avoid anymore relentless teasing from your friend. you shuffle back, straightening into a standing position and reaching out your hands for her to take, "come on, play with us."

ji-yeong glances down at your outstretched palms, the invitation you offer. she then lifts her gaze back up with a lazy smile, taking your hand and allowing you to pull her up. when she regains her balance on her feet, she lowers her voice so only you can hear, "yah, your girlfriend is glaring daggers at me."

your face flushes all over again, "shut up," you mutter, shooting your own sharp glare in her direction. she laughs before brushing past you to begin the journey back down the stairs. as she passes sae-byeok, she tips her head in greeting before continuing on.

sae-byeok's eyes follow her until finally shifting back to your own. you're not sure if ji-yeong's words have gotten to your head, but you swear it seems as if sae-byeok's eyes soften a little around the edges when they land upon your face. your heart beats a little faster, but you quickly shake away the plaguing thoughts.

the clock ticks down to one singular minute left, creating the perfect environment for urgency and anxious restlessness. players scramble together to form a complete group, shouts erupting across the room to recruit those left over. your own group sits down into a tightly knit circle, your frame wedged between sae-byeok on your right and ji-yeong on your left.

"one, two, three..." gi-hun counts off everyone present. when he reaches himself, the last player to be accounted for, his words trail off into confusion, "nine. uhm, wait, did someone not bring anyone?"

"it was me," player one admits, "i didn't."

ali hesitantly raises his hand, "i wasn't able to either..." he mumbles dejectedly.

sang-woo glances around at each player, like he's analyzing each newcomer's worth based on physical appearances. his eyes linger on ji-yeong's.

"what about you? who brought you here?" he asks, almost a little accusingly.

ji-yeong points at you with her thumb, "she did."

"she's the friend i was looking for." you quickly add on.

sang-woo looks displeased by the fact, his frown deepening as he examines ji-yeong once more, who is short and definitely not the athletic type. he redirects his attention to you, and you can spot the small flickering flame of his anger, masked as frustration.

"i said to bring only men back here, didn't i?"

"i couldn't just leave her." you protest, your own irritation rising. you understand sang-woo, you really do. he just wants to do whatever he can to survive. but it's not fair to you or any of the other girls in the group.

"this doesn't sound good," ji-yeong comments out loud, quickly turning her head to sang-woo, "you want me to go? i'll go now." she moves as if to stand up, ready to go through with her threat. you reach for her sleeve, mumbling her name.

"no, wait. hold on." gi-hun chimes in, also reaching out his hand to stop her. she pauses, considering, then sits back down. gi-hun sighs, "it's okay. stay where you are." he turns to sang-woo, "we don't even know what we're doing yet. and the time's almost over. at this point, let's just find one more team and be done."

"we put together a weak team, who would want to join it?" sang-woo snaps, "that means that once the timer's done, we'll end up with anyone that got kicked out."

"well i definitely didn't get kicked out!"

a woman storms over, player 212, who you'd vaguely overheard getting abandoned by player 101 and his friends.

"fellas, i'm gonna give you a rare chance to play with me," she crouches down, shoving herself between ji-yeong and gi-hun.

as the girl crashes into your body, she pushes you back as well, causing you to bump into sae-byeok's taller frame. her hands shoot out to grip your upper arms, steadying you. your skin burns where her touch lingers.

player 212 regards you, ji-yeong and sae-byeok with a look of pure disgust, "you guys lucked out today. ugh. i'll be way more help than either of these little girls. plus, i'm good at everything except the things that i can't do."

she finishes off with a giggle, shaking her hands as if her little speech dazzled the audience. no one is very impressed though, sang-woo least of all. he releases a sharp exhale and glances away in disbelief, lips forming into a curse.

a beep echoes across the white room before it can be muttered out.

"the time for forming your teams is over."

well, looks like you're stuck with her whether you want to be or not.

"all players, please line up with your teammates at the entrance to the game hall."

"hold on," gi-hun glances around in confusion, "we're not gonna stay here, though?"

sang-woo takes another deep breath. you get the feeling that his composure has unraveled, and whatever is remaining is hanging on by a thread.

all eight teams are led out of a different door that you hadn't realized existed until then, leading into a dark room with a large yellow wall. players on the same team stand single file, while the teams themselves are separated side by side. as soon as everyone is situated, you hear the clinking of mechanisms clicking in and out of place, followed by the wall opening up to reveal another room.

this one is by far the largest out of the game halls you've played in thus far. while the field you ran in for red light green light was huge, this room is so tall you can't see where it ends and where it begins. the black walls surrounding you hold two large platforms in the center, a sizable gap separating them. two yellow structures are what hold it up, and a quick glance reveals that they mirror one another, so you assume two teams will be going up the elevator and competing with each other.

there are nine guards in total. seven stand at the front, a square guard in the center, wedged between one circle guard and two triangle guards on each side. there is also two more triangle guards, one on the right, one on the left, guarding pathways that seem to lead to the elevators you noted before.

all teams step inside, pausing by signs holding numbers that go in consecutive order. you find yourselves in front of the number four. upon closer inspection, you notice another detail at the front of the room. two podiums with a large box sitting on top. one yellow and one black.

the yellow doors slam shut with a loud bang.

"i would now like to welcome you all to the third game," the square guard begins, taking a brief pause before announcing your fate, "today's game is tug-of-war."

your heart sinks down into your stomach.

fuck. sang-woo had been right. this is a physical game. the sort of game that determines who is stronger based on strength and sheer willpower.

"in order to win, you must pull the rope towards your platform in an attempt to drop your opponents down below."

your eyes drag from the towering platforms to the ground. it's impossible to survive unscathed if you came tumbling down. falling from that high up would result in broken bones and perhaps even death. and if you were unfortunate enough to survive the fall, you had no doubt that the guards would finish the job.

the men on your team glance back at you, ji-yeong and sae-byeok, defeat twisting the planes of their expression, etched deeply into their faces. they don't need to say it out loud for you to know what they're thinking.

'we're the weakest team here.'

the sight of their regret only makes the sinking feeling in your stomach worst, so much so you feel as if you could throw up despite not having eaten anything since yesterday.

"now, i will draw numbers to decide which two teams will play first. everyone, please sit down."

you do as told, shakily lowering yourself to the cold floor. you cross your legs over each other, knees bumping into sae-byeok's back, who assumes a similar position. faintly, you can hear the low murmurs from all players, either complaining about the command or voicing out loud their concerns.

"first, the team that will play on the left tower."

the circle guard steps up, reaching one hand into the black box. they dig around for a moment before pulling out a black ball with a yellow number on the front.

"team one," the masked figure reads out loud, "team one, please stand up."

you and the rest of the players glance over at the group, who slowly resume their previous upright positions. you notice player 101 amongst those chosen to go first. he rolls his shoulders back, keeping his head held high and showing little to no fear.

"and now, the team that will play on the right tower."

this time the yellow box is rifled through, and team seven is called out.

"team seven, please stand up."

this team consists of two girls, which already puts them at a disadvantage. player 101 must take notice of this fact, because as he sizes up his competition, a slow smile curls his lips.

"teams one and seven will be the first teams to play. will both teams please go to your towers."

both groups are led by the triangle guards down their designated paths. at some point, you hear the whirring of machinery as they are led up by the elevator, and soon enough all twenty players are on the platform. they crouch down, adjusting something on the rope before standing straight and tall. the triangle guards now face outwards, holding two checkered flags.

you didn't notice it until now, but there's a guillotine running down the center, and you spot a red flag tied to the rope, which runs through the hole in the middle. this must be how they determine how evenly the two teams are placed to start, and eventually serve as an indicator to who is gaining ground and who is losing it.

the triangle guards swiftly sweep their flags in the air, then proceed to walk off. the square guard lifts his hand, pointing the barrel of a gun towards the air, and there's a split second of silence before the trigger is pulled and chaos ensues.

it's hard to see clearly due to the distance between the competing teams and where you sit below, but you vaguely hear the clinking of metal chains and the grunts of effort produced within their struggling chests.

your fingers curl around the fabric on your knees when the flag starts to move towards player 101's side. as his team shuffles back, the other shuffles forward, but no matter how much force they put into their pulls, their strength is unable to evenly match their opponents.

there's a scream as they first player falls off the platform, dragging the rest of his teammates with him. the rope swings for a moment, and you're not sure if it was on command or due to their combined weight, but the large blade falls down, slicing the rope.

you flinch as they fall, squeezing your eyes shut. you hear the sound the impact their bodies make on the floor, accompanied by the sickening crunch of bones bending and shattering. and then nothing at all.

there's an announcement that lists off the ten players who died. you slowly open your eyes, realizing with a start that your hands have somehow found their way latched onto the back of sae-byeok's jacket. they tremble uncontrollably, and you're sure she feels it. but she doesn't breathe a word. either she's just as shaken as you are and can't find it in herself to shove you off, or she's allowing you to cling to her like she's the only thing keeping you sane.

boxes are brought out, players slowly lowered inside, and they are taken away until the only evidence of death is the pool of blood left untouched on the ground. the rope is reset, and finally, the next two groups are called.

"i will now draw the teams for the next round."

the circle guard reaches in and produces a number that promptly makes your heart stop.

"team four."

at first, you hope that you misheard. that your fear is producing auditory hallucinations in an attempt to make your terror grow. but as the teammates in front of you start to move, sae-byeok included, you realize that it's true. that your luck has run out, and you're playing much earlier than you would've anticipated. you swallow thickly, surprised that your body complies and allows you to get to your feet.

"team five."

you glance to your right, finding the other team doing the same. there is only men in their group, along with victorious smiles and expressions of triumph.

"team four and team five, please go to your towers."

the walk there feels as if you're taking yourselves to your death. each step is more difficult to place down than the last, but you keep your eyes trained on the number on the back of sae-byeok's jacket, saying to yourself that as long as you follow it, you'll be okay.

you pass by player 101's team on your way to the elevator. sweat clings to their skin, their breathing heavy and labored, and they all snicker when they recognize your team.

"aw man. i was looking forward to killing you guys." you hear him comment, before continuing onward with a confident stride.

you step into the elevator, which is the same yellow color as the towers and shaped like a box. once ji-yeong, the last in line, has walked through the threshold, the doors close, and the floor rumbles as it slowly starts to go up.

"come on, don't lose your spirit," player one says, breaking the tense silence of the space, "tug-of-war needs more than just raw strength.

"well then, what's it about, huh? we just go out and speak to them?" player 196, the man sang-woo brought to your team, questions rudely. 

"all you need is a good strategy in tug-of-war, and combined with good teamwork, you'll be able to win when you are against stronger teams."

"only one thing can help us now," another player cuts in, slowly glancing away to fixate on an unknown point, "it's the lord himself, i know it."

oh no.

you spare a cautious look at ji-yeong, who is already staring at player 244 with a carefully blank expression. but the tilt of her head, the intense look in her eyes, you think you know exactly what's going through her head.

"you can barely stay standing, old man. so shut up and keep all your strength, okay?" player 196 snaps.

"wait a minute, let's hear what the old man has to say." gi-hun protests, ever the peacemaker. he looks back at player one, giving him an encouraging nod.

"okay, when i was young, we always like tug-of-war. it's a game i know well. and back then, i would always win, even if there was a wrestler on the other team, and it seemed the odds were stuck against us. listen closely, and i'll tell you how my team and i were able to win even when it seemed impossible."

by the time player one has finished revealing his strategies and your positions have been set, the elevator lurches to a stop at the top of the platform. the doors open, and you each exit one by one, your steps a little less uncertain now as you take your spots by the rope.

TIP ONE

HAVING A GOOD LEADER IS IMPORTANT

THE PERSON IS AT THE FRONT AND KEEPS AN EYE ON HOW THE OTHER TEAM IS PERFORMING. AND THE REST OF THE TEAM FOCUSES ON THE BACK OF THE LEADER'S HEAD AND FOLLOWS THEIR LEAD.

IF THE LEADER SEEMS WEAK OR LOOKS LIKE THEIR SPIRIT IS BEGINNING TO FALTER, THEN THE GAME IS ALREADY OVER.

it was unanimous, the decision to make gi-hun the one to stand at the front. while he isn't the strongest nor is he the smartest, he has the best relationship with nearly everyone on your team. and sometimes morale is more important than any other skill if you want your team to work together.

TIP TWO

AT THE END OF THE ROPE, YOU'LL NEED SOMEONE STRONG AND DEPENDABLE LIKE THE ANCHOR OF A SHIP.

ali was chosen to stand at the end of the line. you had no doubt about his capabilities, especially after last night. you remember the large metal beam he swung around, carrying it effortlessly when you're sure it would've taken two or three men to hold it up.

TIP THREE

IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU ARRANGE THE REST OF YOUR TEAM.

IF ONE PLAYER IS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROPE, THEN THE NEXT ONE SHOULD BE ON THE LEFT, ALL THE WAY DOWN THE ROPE.

your body stands on the right, while sae-byeok, who is ahead of you in the line, stands on the left. the arrangement alternates, just as player 1 advised, from the beginning to the end. the circle guards come over and help you latch your wrists through leather straps chained to the rope. it feels hard to breathe when the guard clicks it shut, even though it's your hands that are restricted, not your throat. but it feels suffocating knowing that even if you shift towards the edge, you can't escape falling down with the rope.

what a horrible way to die. even worse than the gunshots to the head from the first two games.

you grip the rope in both hands, the rest of player one's advice echoing in your mind.

TIP FOUR

BOTH YOUR FEET SHOULD BE FACING STRAIGHT FORWARD

TIP FIVE

HOLD THE ROPE IN YOUR ARMPITS, THAT WAY, EVERYONE CAN PUT IN ALL OF THEIR STRENGTH.

you do as he said, adjusting your footing while tucking the rope beneath your arm. you take a deep breath, steeling your nerves and tightening your grip as your eyes fixate on the back of gi-hun's head.

you slowly exhale, the silence deafening as you wait for the gunshot, which will allow you to fulfill player one's last piece of advice.

TIP SIX

ONCE THE GAME BEGINS, FOR THE FIRST TEN SECONDS, YOU HAVE TO HOLD YOUR GROUND.

BANG !

you grit your teeth as the gun echoes, exerting all the strength you have in your body to leaning back and pulling as hard as you can.

YOU SHOULD LEAN BACK, PRACTICALLY LIE DOWN.

PUSH YOUR LOWER ABDOMEN UP TO THE SKY, AS HARD AS YOU CAN, AND THROW YOUR HEAD BACK TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN ALMOST SEE THE GROIN OF THE PERSON BEHIND YOU.

you stare up at the ceiling. the blinding lights burning against your eyes.

IF YOU DO THAT, THE OTHER TEAM WON'T BE ABLE TO PULL US TO THEIR SIDE.

JUST HOLD LIKE THAT FOR TEN SECONDS.

you blink, releasing a strained sound as you struggle to breathe. this time, it's the effort that constricts your lungs and not the shackles around your wrist.

THEN THE OPPOSING TEAM WILL START TO GET FRUSTRATED BECAUSE THEY ARE THINKING, "WHY WON'T THEY BUDGE?"

BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THEY WERE MUCH STRONGER.

IF YOU CAN HOLD OUT FOR THAT LONG, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CATCH A MOMENT IN YOUR OPPONENTS' HOLD AND THEIR RHYTHM BREAKS.

"now's our chance!"

the moment you hear gi-hun shout those words, time speeds up, every single piece falling into place as you straighten once more and plant your feet more firmly on the ground.

everyone pulls and steps back at the same time, which surprises the other team enough to fumble for a response. as the flag steadily slides in your direction, your opponents struggle to compose themselves, their movements jerky and uncoordinated, like they're simply trying to avoid falling down rather than find their rhythm again.

for a couple seconds, you see a glimmer of hope.

'maybe player one was right. maybe we can win this, even if the odds are stacked against us.'

"pull it together!"

right as they hit the edge of the platform, team five seems to regain their footing. their shouts echo across the big gap between your towers, and within seconds, your team's resolve weakens. you start shifting back forward, losing all the ground you had gained, and then some. your synchronous pulls and jumps cease, switching to feet digging into the ground to try and stop the slow inching forward.

"we're losing it, goddammit! do something!" player 212 screams.

your heart is pounding so hard and fast that you're scared it's going to burst. at this rate, you'll die from heart failure rather than falling 50 feet to your death.

"get yourselves together and listen!" sang-woo shouts, "let's try something! take three steps up when i signal!"

up? did he say up?

"up? what now? but that's the edge!" she protests.

"look, just trust me and they'll fall!"

you look over sae-byeok's head long enough to see the other side. team five is using all their strength right now. jaws clenched, muscles strained, sweat sliding down their skin. there's probably not an ounce of their power that isn't being used right now.

oh. so that's his plan.

guess there's a reason why sang-woo got accepted into snu.

"there's no way i'll do that!" she insists with a shake of her head.

"we might as well try!" gi-hun exclaims.

"no way! i can't do it!"

"move up or you'll die! on the count of three! one! two!"

please work.

"three!"

you're yanked forward at the same time you take three big steps, all the tension coiling in your body evaporating as you release a long withheld breath and loosen your grip around the rope. just as sang-woo predicted, team five falls to the ground in a domino affect, their own grips loosening after being caught off guard by your unexpected move.

gi-hun bears the brunt of the recklessness of sang-woo's plan. he nearly tips over the edge, hanging on only by the heel of his foot. he swings a little, trying and failing to place his other foot back on the ground. it isn't until sang-woo shouts for everyone to pull does gi-hun get yanked back onto the platform.

adrenaline is a funny thing. even though it feels as if you physically can't go on anymore, having used all your energy the first time you pulled the ropes, your body seems to find a way to give you the strength you need during moments you feel like you're going to die.

you shout alongside the rest of your teammates, moving quicker than you ever have before, and the result is immediate. the other team doesn't have enough time to get back on their feet, not when you pull and pull with no restraint. they slide against the ground, their panicked screaming grating against your ears. some manage to get to their feet, but with their formation weakened, it's no use.

as all ten players fall off the edge, their combined weight pulls you back forward. you shout out in panic, fearful that the guillotine won't activate in time and you'll find yourselves joining the other team in their death. you lean back, trying to repeat the same motions as before, the tip player one gave you about holding your ground. your teammates must think of the same thing, for they're also mirroring your posture.

the blade drops, and the rope is finally cut in half, sending team five falling freely to the ground. the sudden loss of restraint on the other side sends you all flying back, landing on the floor with surprised grunts and shouts.

as soon as your body lands on the cool platform your body instantly relaxes, realizing subconsciously that you're no longer in danger and there's no need to continue fighting. you blink, feeling the sticky layer of sweat coating your skin, your chest rising and falling rapidly as your lungs try to gulp down as much oxygen as it can take.

you turn your head, coming face to face with sae-byeok. her bangs stick to her forehead, cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. sweat glistens along the slopes and crevices of her face, lips parted as she greedily gulps down air. she must sense you staring for she also turns, her dark eyes flitting rapidly across every inch of your own face, blinking slowly with exhaustion.

a laugh escapes you, filled with relief and the sort of feeling that can only be created when one escapes death. it comes out more as a wheeze, your body still struggling for air, but now that it's slipped out, you can't control the way it continues to form within your throat and fill the air. it bubbles to the surface and bursts out, perhaps a product of delirium, perhaps exhaustion, or perhaps something to do with the girl in your vision.

and sae-byeok. you'll never forget the expression on her face when she hears the first breathless giggle. how her eyes widen. how she looks struck by the sound, like she's never heard such a thing before in her life.

and how it could easily be mistaken for awe, as if she's in disbelief that you could ever exist.

Chapter Text

unlike the journey up, the elevator ride down is not filled with a tense silence of impending doom. no one speaks, at least not directly, the only words uttered being the insistent mumbling from player 244's cracked lips.

you stare down at your hands, silent and unmoving. they've been rubbed raw, burn marks created from the ropes you'd gripped like a lifeline. you tentatively flex your trembling fingers, wincing slightly at the small sting that arises from the movement. you still can't seem to catch your breath, heart refusing to settle in your chest. it hammers against your ribcage, pounding in your ears. you can even feel the drum beat at the back of your eyes and other parts of your body.

"oh, lord, protect me."

ji-yeong must have had enough of the man's ceaseless prayers, which he hasn't stopped reciting since the moment team four was announced the winners.

"hey dude," she calls out, that intense look back in her eyes, "who do you think you're praying to, huh? to god?"

the man ignores her. ji-yeong tilts her head, feigning curiosity.

"you think you made it out of there because of god, don't you?" she sighs, then leans forward, bracing her hands against her knees, "the reason you're still breathing and thanking that nice god of yours..." she turns to player one, "is that old man there. and that guy over there who came up with that awesome last minute trick. you know, if there's anybody that you should be thanking, it's them, not god."

the man finally stops. he slowly lifts his head, his features marred with an odd mix of pity and disgust, "you sad lost soul. what would you say about everybody who was nailed to the cross for our salvation today? they sacrificed themselves for us. we are here, thanks to their blood," he turns to ji-yeong, "i pray to the lord on behalf of all us sinners. i gave thanks for their sacrifice. god made a decision to help our team win. that's why we're all here."

"bullshit." ji-yeong mutters out without missing a beat, a flicker of irritation rising in her eyes, "you killed those guys out there."

the man doesn't respond. perhaps he knows that ji-yeong is right. those people dying out there wasn't because some higher power decided that your team deserved to live. they didn't value your lives more than the others. those people died out there because you had made the choice to kill them. their blood is on no one's hand but your own.

he lowers his head and resumes his praying. ji-yeong leans her head back, lips parting in realization, "oh!" she lazily claps her hands together in tandem to whatever revelation formed in her head, "if we say some prayers, do we all get to go to heaven?"

her tone is light but mocking, showing just how little she actually believes in this man's pointless muttering. she closes her eyes, clasping her hands together more firmly.

"i should really pray too if that's how easy it is." she takes a deep breath, "our god who art in heaven, we worked as a team to send people to your side, and we sent a bunch of them today."

a part of you thinks about telling ji-yeong to stop. to just leave it alone, even if you know the reason as to why she's annoyed. no doubt she's thinking about her own father and what he did several years ago.  how he blamed his actions on god, and thought that by praying, he could be forgiven for killing her mother in cold blood.

and while her frustration is justified, you know her simple act of belittling this man can quickly escalate into something bigger, like a fight or something worse. there's no telling with a player like that. he could very easily be driven by 'god' to kill her if he thinks it'll serve him a greater purpose.

"and please help us with a whole lot more to be with you. and i hope that from now on-"

"be quiet!"

you jump slightly, only because you weren't expecting the harsh bite that comes with the command, nor the fact that it was sae-byeok who said it. you turn, finding her head leaned back against the wall, her eyes trained on the ceiling as she catches her breath. her annoyed expression matches the firm tone she just used, seen most prominently in the dark brown color of her eyes.

ji-yeong stops. she opens her eyes. drops her hands. turns her head to peer up at the girl. her voice is flat, almost bored, as she asks, "me? or you mean that guy?"

"everyone." sae-byeok mutters out, which is followed by the clank of the elevator stopping at the ground level.

the three of you are the last to leave the elevator doors. there's a brief second, perhaps even a split of that time, of tense silence when the three of you are left alone. you glance between your friend and sae-byeok, unsure of how to breach the suffocating pressure in the small space. but before you can say something, sae-byeok is pushing herself away from the wall and walking out, ji-yeong following shortly after.

you sigh and do the same.

"what's your name, huh?" ji-yeong asks suddenly, her steps lazy and uneven as she stumbles after the taller girl, trying to match her long strides.

"why do you care about that?" sae-byeok responds, sounding a little exasperated. 

"so i can use your name, duh." ji-yeong says, as if the answer were obvious, as plain and as clear as day.

sae-byeok sighs. you imagine she briefly flutters her eyes shut, trying to restrain herself from retorting with something snarky, "it doesn't matter." she mutters instead, before picking up her pace.

ji-yeong laughs, not looking the least bit hurt by sae-byeok's bluntness. if anything, she's amused by it. she turns to you, a smile twitching the corner of her lips, "your girlfriend is kinda mean. are you into that kinda stuff?"

you sigh, shaking your head in disbelief, "i'm not even going to respond to that."

"i mean, it's okay if you are. i'm not one to judge-"

"i hate you."

ji-yeong links her arm through your own, leaning into you affectionately, "sweet talk me some more, would ya?"

you roll your eyes, but you're unable to help the tiny smile pulling at your own lips.

two guards lead you all the way back to the living quarters. team one, with player 101 and his gang, are huddled together near the right side of the room, lounging on the steps or on the floor. they glance up upon your group's arrival, and their laughter and conversation dies the moment they recognize your faces.

their smiles are wiped away, complete and utter disbelief painting their features. guess not a single one of them anticipated the outcome that your group, as weak as you appear on the surface, would ever survive. player 101 realizes this fact with less grace than the others, his disbelief turning into anger, which in turn transforms into unfiltered hatred.

you feel the intensity of their stares burning through you as your group stumbles exhaustingly to the steps near gi-hun's bed. your own direction pivots towards the restrooms, ji-yeong sending you a curious glance when she notices you branching away from the group. but she doesn't follow after you, opting instead to sink down into the ground with a heavy sigh.

the bathroom is just as colorful as the rest of the rooms in this building. the stalls are a bright pink, the tiling on the floor and walls an equally as bright blue. your body, however, carries you over to the row of sinks lining one of the walls, where rectangular mirrors hang above each one.

you pause in front of the nearest sink, startled by the sight of your figure reflected back at you. there's blood and sweat on your cheeks and neck, your skin pale with malnourishment. your hair is a mess, a little damp, the baby strands sticking to your skin. your lips are chapped, cracking along the corners, stinging when you press your thumb against the cuts.

and your eyes, they are lined with deep, dark circles, the colors tinged with both exhaustion and something else. a haunted look that never quite goes away no matter how many times you blink.

'you're alive. you're okay.'

you exhale shakily, gripping the edges of the cold porcelain and bracing your weight against it. once you've allowed yourself a moment to breathe, you shift back, turning the faucet and watching the water spill down. you cup a handful, splashing your face with the substance, sighing at the relief it brings your warm, feverish skin.

you proceed to grab a handful of paper towels from the dispenser nearby, first using it to wipe away the droplets sliding down your face, then begin dragging it gently down your neck, washing away the streaks of blood and sweat.

just as you're about to do the same motions for your arms, you hear the door open, followed by soft footsteps. you turn, faltering at the sight of sae-byeok standing silently just several feet away from you.

her eyes shift down to your hands, which haven't stopped shaking since the game ended. they grip the paper towels so tightly your knuckles have turned white, and the burn marks on your palms remind you of their presence with a slight sting.

wordlessly, she reaches into the pocket of her jacket, and when she pulls her hand out, a small container of petroleum jelly sits in her palm.

the same one you gave her.

you stare down at the object for a long time, at a loss for words. questions race through your mind, ranging in variety, but it all leads back to that singular item and it's existence upon kang sae-byeok's fingers.

"how did you-"

"you're hurt, right?" she cuts in. you pause, blinking in mild bewilderment. she shifts her attention down, fixated not on the raw skin on your palms, but the cut on your arm hidden by the sleeve of your jacket.

you haven't shown anyone that cut. haven't breathed a word about the distant throbbing accompanying the injury. you don't even think sae-byeok saw it happen, not when everything was moving too fast and it was too dark to see properly.

so then how does she know about it?

there's only one explanation for it. as bizarre as it sounds, it's the only way your brain can try to understand these strange sensations that have risen. the fact that your head throbs when you move too fast, even though you've never received an injury there. the ache on your wrist and running down your back, like you've been thrown against a wall. 

the fact that somehow, someway, sae-byeok's pain seems to be connected with your own.

"do you feel it, too?" you whisper.

her head snaps up in one quick motion, her eyes widened imperceptibly. but you notice it. you catch the tiny shifts in her body language, in her expression.

"when you were getting beat up by player 101, i could feel it. at first, i thought i was crazy. but then it happened again during the fight. when you were getting choked, i also felt like i couldn't breathe."

sae-byeok doesn't say anything for a long time. her face remains the same, the only difference being the way her eyes flit uncertainly across your face. like she's searching for something, trying to understand something she doesn't have all the pieces to.

a hollow laugh slips past your lips when the silence persists, adding fuel to the regret for having spoken in the first place, "sorry. i know it sounds crazy-"

"i feel it." you slowly lift your head at sae-byeok's soft mumble, the weight those three words seem to carry. her throat bobs with the effort it takes to swallow, her lips trembling ever so slightly, "i feel it." she repeats, firmer this time, quieter, like she's almost afraid to admit it out loud, to speak it into existence.

relief floods through your senses, washing away all the fear in your heart and anxiety coiling in your stomach. you had been so worried that sae-byeok would reject the invisible string tying you two together. that she'd find a way to sever it, cutting it without a second thought.

and yet, here she stands before you, a sort of quiet desperation in her eyes, like she doesn't know what it means, but she wants to understand.

you offer her a tiny smile, and it must be enough, for kang sae-byeok relaxes a little.

she steps closer, placing the container down on the edge of the sink. then, hesitantly, almost like she's afraid to cross a line, she's reaching for your arm. you blink, attention fixated on the slight tremble in her fingers, but you don't shift away, allowing her to gently lift it. then, tentatively so as not to hurt you, she peels back the sleeve, exposing the cut running from your wrist to your elbow. it isn't deep, but a flash of pain erupts each time you move, and there's a light sting as the cold air hits it.

you suck in a sharp breath, partly due to the pain, partly due to the shock that runs down your spine at her touch. sae-byeok jumps a little, her expression almost a little apologetic as she loosens her hold, making it more light than before. she removes one hand, using it to reach for a paper towel. she brings it to the running water, removing it once it's damp enough.

then, with motions so careful you could cry by how sweet it is, sae-byeok presses the towel against the cut, cleaning all the dried blood around it. the emotion tugs at your chest, lodging in the form of a tight ball in your throat.

it's not that you've never been cared for like this. when your parents were alive, each time you'd scrape your knees or get a paper cut, they'd blow gently on the injury, clean the wound, and press a sweet kiss against it.

but it's been so long since those days, so much so, you've forgotten what it's like to feel that sort of affection.

so for sae-byeok, a girl who doesn't trust anyone, a girl who only knows how to take care of herself, to treat you with such tenderness, you can't help but think that you could fall in love with her, over and over again, across lifetimes and astral planes, until it's the only thing you seek in every reincarnation of your soul.

your inner thoughts must've been reflected upon your expression, for sae-byeok pauses midway through her mindful motions of applying the ointment along the thin cut. she glances up, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"what?" she asks, her words not as sharp as they usually are, like she softened them just for you.

"your eyes." you mumble, unable to tear your attention away from the dark pools pulling you in, feeling as if you're drowning in the colors. you'd always thought that they held the most emotion out of any feature on her face, and that opinion hasn't changed.

right now, they are soft around the edges, a little glassy with an emotion that makes you feel as if you mean more than you could ever comprehend. more than just a stranger. more than just a player she's made an alliance with. more than just a friend.

your heart aches at the sight, a warmth filling the empty crevices of your body you didn't realize had been bare until you met her.

"they're so warm," you whisper, resisting the urge to reach out touch the corners, to press your fingers delicately against her pale skin.

sae-byeok doesn't say anything, but you know your words affect her. you know, because her gaze becomes so intense you feel it burning you up, consuming you entirely, and her face is struck with the slow formation of a thought that you can't hear, but you can presume what it is.

for several long seconds, you stare at each other, something unspoken passing through. it's read in one another's eyes, written only for the other to see.

-

when the last remaining teams return to the living quarters, lunch is handed out to the surviving players. this time, you're handed a bottle of water and corn, which isn't the most fulfilling meal, but it's a step up from the boiled eggs you received last night. you briefly wonder if they're trying to create another bloodbath. as the thought arises, you do your best to steer clear of player 101's group.

on the steps, you sit down next to ji-yeong, and sae-byeok settles into the space right in front of you, her back just barely brushing against your knees. like she needs the light contact, the comforting warmth of your presence. as the rest of your teammates settle down into their respective spots, you angle your body slightly towards your friend, lowering your voice so only she could hear.

"are you okay?"

ji-yeong pulls away from her piece of corn, blinking slowly, "why?"

"about earlier. with player 244. i know it bothered you."

her lips curl into a smile, "never been better. it was worth getting scolded by your girlfriend to prove that his beliefs are bullshit."

despite your friend's lighthearted tone and unbothered shrug, you know she's lying. perhaps only you would notice the way the light fails to reach her eyes, how it lacks the emotion it should've held.

"ji-yeong." you murmur gently.

her smile slips.

you sigh, reaching over and taking her hand within your own. you squeeze lightly in what you hope is a reassuring manner, "you're my best friend. i know you better than anyone. you can be honest with me."

ji-yeong watches the way your fingers brush against her knuckles, her expression more serious now, almost contemplative. she purses her lips, the walls she put up slowly crumbling. her fingers curl tighter around your own.

"i am a little angry. but i'm not gonna cry about it or anything. he's not worth my time." she eventually responds.

sometimes it's hard to get ji-yeong to open up. she likes to brush off her sadness and anger with a laugh or a joke because she believes that if she treats it like it's nothing, than it can never hurt her. so all the moments where she finally allows herself to be a little honest are moments you cherish.

you untangle your fingers and drape your arm across her shoulder, pulling her into an embrace. for once, ji-yeong doesn't playfully complain about the blatant display of affection. she leans into it, her eyes fluttering shut. one of her hands pats your back gently, like you're the one that needs comforting, which makes you both laugh.

at some point during your meal, player 212 stands up and faces your small group, waving her piece of corn around as she dives into a dramatic retelling of the prior events. no one seems very keen on listening to it, especially since you were all there, and most of you would rather forget about it then spin it into a tale to laugh about. but either the woman doesn't know how to read a room, or she simply doesn't care.

"you know what? i really thought we were going to die out there. and then, as soon as we're all leaned back, i felt so strong, like, 'woah! this works? is this real?' hey old man, how'd you know that?"

player one chuckles, "as a kid, i would always-"

"oh, you copied it from a movie right?" she interrupts. player one goes quiet, "am i right? what's it called? the guy dodges bullets like this, right?" she demonstrates by leaning back and flailing her arms in every direction.

"matrix!" ali calls out.

the woman abruptly stops. her eyes snap to ali's, a low hum sounding in her throat. she leans forward, placing her hands on her lips while speaking to him in an accusatory tone, "hey, when you got to korea, did you work or just watch movies?"

ali remains quiet. you frown, feeling a bubble of hatred form in your chest at her belittling words. you did not like this woman one bit.

"yah," the words are tumbling from your lips before you can stop them, gaining the woman's attention and the rest of your group, "what's wrong with watching movies? he got the answer right."

her face twists into annoyance as she straightens, "shut up little girl, you don't know anything."

your frustration builds, but you don't get a chance to retort before she's turning her attention to sang-woo, shifting her face into an admiring smile. you feel ji-yeong place her palm on your shoulder, perhaps to hold you back from jumping up and doing something stupid or to help calm you down.

"and our man..." player 212 clears her throat to mimic a deeper voice, "everybody! three steps up when i signal," she gasps, the sound blending into a giggle as she presses her palm excitedly against her mouth, "oh my god. i can't believe how cool that was. how did you come up with it under all that pressure?"

"earlier you were the one who said no." ali points out.

the woman tilts her head, "yeah?" she repeats, then scoffs, "is that what you heard?"

"you cried and said, 'but that's the edge! there's no way i'll go!'"

you fail to stifle the laugh that bursts out of your mouth. you slap a hand over your lips, but the giggles can't seem to stop coming at ali's attempt to mimic her whining protests. the connotation sounded almost exactly like her.

"like that." he finishes innocently.

her eyes narrow into sharp slits, "you...what country are you from? you got a visa?" she points her corn at him accusingly, her words coming out with a sneer, "you're an illegal alien," she straightens, addressing the rest of the group, "what do you think guys? should we really keep this foreigner on our team? i mean seriously, should we? huh?"

"ali did way more than you ever did. if anyone should leave, it's you."

you don't know why you said it. you hate confrontation. you hate the discomfort that comes with it, the anxiety of not knowing how things will turn out. you'd rather sit silently in the corner and deal with your brooding emotions alone than ever voice them out loud.

but for some reason, a part of you feels defensive over ali. it's strange, especially considering you've never talked to each other. perhaps it's because he's your teammate, and you feel protective over everyone in your small group, or perhaps because there's a sort of innocent look in his eyes, a kindness you don't want to get crushed by some woman who thinks she's better than everyone else.

"excuse me?" she sputters out, her initial reaction to be surprised, before swiftly turning into exasperation and disbelief, "looks like i'm gonna have to do some major restructuring here." she takes a threatening step towards ali, then sneers in your direction.

you stick your tongue out in response.

she steps back, surveying the rest of the group, "who's the leader here, guys?" her eyes linger in sang-woo's direction. she smiles, "smart guy. you're the leader, right?"

"we don't have a leader. we're all equal here." he responds.

"ah...that's great. building an egalitarian society!" she exclaims before turning towards player 101's group, "damn guys. i gotta say, this is a good change from that asshole over there who's been bossing us around this whole time."

"oh, about that, grandma, why did you get kicked out?" gi-hun asks.

the woman slowly turns her head. there's a brief moment of tense silence, before her face breaks into devastation.

"grandma?" she repeats. she places her hand over her chest, shaking her poor piece of corn in denial. it's a wonder the kernels are still intact, "don't you ever call me that! here, han mi-nyeo. got it? mi-nyeo. that's my name. and i didn't get kicked out. i made the decision to go, got it? and don't put me in with those bastards over there, i'm not one of them, okay?"

"they got rid of you so they would only have male players. right before the game. you know, it's almost like they knew about it ahead of time."

sang-woo's words sink in slowly, and the realization hits you all at once.

they're cheating.

somehow, they've found a way to figure out what the games are. you don't understand how or why, but you ultimately wonder who on their team has this intel, and whether the person in charge knows about the unfair advantage some of these players are receiving.

you don't get to dwell on the thought any longer. a cheerful chime comes from the speakers, followed by the woman's voice announcing that bedtime would commence in thirty minutes.

"please return to your assigned beds and prepare for lights-out."

at the reminder that the room will once again go dark, you feel dread pool in your stomach. you can't stop yourself from sparing a quick look in player 101's direction, startling when you realize they are already looking over, their cruel smiles and dangerous eyes making your unease build.

"another fight could break out like last night," sang-woo voices the conclusion you came to out loud, "i think we should make a plan."

"what can we do, huh?" player 196 asks, "we've got four girls, an old man, and us. our team is the weakest one here."

"we should choose a weak team and go after them first."

ji-yeong scoffs at player 244's suggestion, "for a resident priest, you sure are bloodthirsty."

"i mean, everyone's hands are bloody. we're all sinners, but we're still here, aren't we?" he retorts.

ji-yeong tilts her head, resting her cheek on her palm. she looks almost bored, her eyes void of emotion, like she didn't expect anything else.

"attacking is our best option. so i think that's our plan."

"during the fight last night," sae-byeok speaks up suddenly, her low voice causing a hush to fall around the room. she slowly turns her head towards player 196, "the man in the bed in front of me got killed. and the person he thought was on his side broke his neck," the image flashes in your mind. the look of betrayal. a muffled scream. the snap of bone, "do you trust me then?"

player 196 doesn't respond, proving sae-byeok's point. that it's difficult to trust anyone in here, not when a player could easily turn on you in the blink of an eye, a friend turning into a foe. it's a good thing that she's cautious. you're sure that's why she's survived this long. but you also get the feeling that her lack of trust stems from more than just this game, running deeper than that man being killed by someone he put faith in.

'sae-byeok. if the world was dark and all i knew was the sound of your quiet breaths and the warmth of your presence, i'd trust you. i'd reach for your hand and lay my heart in your palm, and i wouldn't worry whether you'd crush it. i wouldn't fear for the possibility that you'd hurt me.

sae-byeok. would you put your faith in me as well?'

"alright," gi-hun stands, addressing the group, "i think let's still do something. before the lights go out, let's create a barricade. it might be good to make sure we have cover."

ali hums in agreement, and with that, the rest of your team stands up without much protest, probably too exhausted to come up with a different plan. they scatter in different directions, pulling overturned structures down from the steps.

a pile of blankets is gathered in your arms, the heap of fabrics threatening to spill out and obscuring your vision. you stop at the top of the steps, hesitating to go down in fear of tripping and crashing to the floor. you try to peer around the objects, but even when you manage to spot the next step, the weight of the pile throws you a little off balance.

someone's hands are reaching for the blankets sitting at the top of the stack. your vision clears, allowing you to see sae-byeok standing just one step below, peering up at you with her pretty brown eyes. she holds the items snuggly against her chest.

"ah, thank you." you mumble shyly, feeling the heat creep up into your cheeks. sae-byeok tips her head in a small nod before turning around and going down the steps, your own figure following closely after. ji-yeong gives you a knowing smile as you pass, which you return with a sharp look as if to say 'don't start,' which is enough to prevent any verbal teasing.

you run off to gather some pillows and sheets, and when you return, you and sae-byeok get to work creating makeshift beds for everyone to sleep on. you pull mattresses onto the floor, spacing them out so everyone is allowed their own space. ji-yeong announces she wants her bed on the top steps, so you drag your own mattress to lay right beside her.

"sort of feels like when we were kids, huh?" she asks as she arranges her pillow and blanket.

you smile fondly at the memory that surfaces. when you were little, you and ji-yeong would beg for sleepovers, usually so you could continue playing even past your bedtime. your bed had a small pullout, but it never went used. instead, you and ji-yeong would take out the mattresses from both beds and lay them on the floor so you could sleep close together.

you hear a small grunt of effort, prompting you to cease your movements and lift your head. kang sae-byeok is dragging a mattress up the steps, her face twisted with determination, teeth clenched. you jump to your feet, reaching down to help her pull the heavy object up the remaining steps.

once you've successfully pulled it onto the platform, you both release it, allowing it to land with a soft thump onto the ground. sae-byeok, slightly winded, crouches down, running a hand through her hair. the curls stick up from the motion before laying back down, a little more unruly than before. then she's grabbing the edge once more, shuffling back until the mattress lays on the other side of your own.

sae-byeok begins walking back down the steps as if nothing happened, as if she didn't just willingly place her bed next to yours. as if a part of her wants to remain close to you. you're not sure if she's doing it for your sake or her own, but the fact remains that she chose to do it, and the action makes your heart race.

many of the other teams start creating their own makeshift bases, and pretty soon, there are designated areas for each group spread throughout the room. the only team that hasn't made a single move is player 101's. they've opted instead to stare at everyone as they work, laughing like your attempts to create a safe space is futile.

while you, ji-yeong and sae-byeok get to work draping the remaining blankets over some of the metal beams to create some privacy, someone approaches the barriers.

"hey ssangmun-dong."

practically everyone in your group pauses to glance up, no doubt also recognizing the voice. and sure enough, when your eyes land upon the figure, player 101 is leaning against the structure, peering in.

"hey, i appreciate the work you're doing," he turns to his left, laying his hand against the beam, "nice. but do you think these will do anything?"

"come on," sae-byeok's voice brings you away from the conversation he's having with gi-hun. she nods her head towards a different part of the enclosed space, gesturing for you to follow her over there to continue working. you do so quietly, but not before sending one last wary look.

as you're tidying up one of the covers, making sure the fabric is smooth and covering as much space as possible, you feel someone approach you from behind. you turn, half expecting to see ji-yeong, or perhaps even sae-byeok since she's made it a habit to follow you around. but instead, you're greeted with ali's kind eyes and unsure smile.

"oh. hello." you greet politely, bowing your head. ali mirrors the motion.

then it goes silent, and your eyes dart at every point but his face, fingers twisting anxiously within the blankets. since this is your first conversation with the man, you're unsure of how to approach the task of talking. obviously with respect, since he's older, but beyond that you have no idea. he doesn't seem like the stern type like sang-woo, nor is he the joking type like gi-hun.

as you're agonizing over the details, ali's soft voice breaks through your thoughts, "thank you."

you blink, puzzled by his sudden show of gratitude, "for what?"

"you defended me earlier," he explains, his smile becoming more confident as he becomes more certain in his words, "for that, i'm grateful."

at first, you don't know how to respond. you're not sure if you deserve ali's kindness, or if you can even bear the brunt of his gentleness. you tear your eyes away, fixing your attention on your previous task, "anyone would've done it."

"but only you did."

you falter, going impossibly still as ali's words sink in. you eventually release a soft breath, turning back in his direction to give him a tiny smile, "no one deserves to be talked to like that. she had no right to say those things."

ali laughs softly. oddly enough, he doesn't seem bothered by her harsh words. you wonder if it had been your own display of kindness that made his hurt wash away, "you are very kind."

"well, that's what teammates are for, right?"

by the time you finish, there's only one minute left until lights out. gi-hun looks through one of the holes, surveying the surrounding area. he sighs, then turns to face you, crouching down shortly after.

"they'll shut off the lights soon. they might not all come right away. so we better swap out who's gonna keep watch, just to be safe, i think."

"no, two of us should watch." sang-woo objects, "a pair can keep each other awake. just one person might leave and betray our team."

there's an uneasiness that drifts through the air, suspicious and wary glances cast towards each person.

"i can..." player one begins. every eye turns towards him, "be first watch then. you don't really sleep a lot when you're old."

"excuse me, but are we just supposed to trust an old man like you to not sleep on the job all night?" player 196 cuts in.

"let me go first." sang-woo volunteers.

a beat later, ali raises his hand, "i'm not tired yet. i'll go with you."

"then i'll be next!" gi-hun responds quickly after, "you wake me up the second you get tired."

"then why don't i join you on second watch? assuming that's okay with you." player one offers.

gi-hun nods, "yeah, that sounds good."

ji-yeong is knocked out in an instant. she's a messy sleeper, laying down with her legs spread out, arms thrown above her head like it's her mission to take as much space as possible. her lips are parted slightly, soft snores produced from within her throat.

sae-byeok, on the other hand, sleeps quietly. she curls into a small ball, fingers folded neatly near her head, taking up only one side of the mattress. she's a light sleeper, startling awake at the slightest sound. but once she does fall into slumber, she barely moves a muscle, her breaths small and gentle.

you realize she's gone before you're fully conscious of your surroundings. it's like your body senses when she's not near, knowing the shape she takes in this world and recognizing when it's missing.

you flutter your eyes open, hands reaching for her side of the bed, fumbling around to feel a sliver of her warm skin. when you don't find it, you slowly sit up, seeing the blankets pulled back, bare of her figure. panic rises in your chest, but a quick look down the steps eases it just as quickly.

sae-byeok sits next to gi-hun. you hear the soft murmur of their voices, indecipherable from this far away, but it seems to be some sort of lighthearted conversation. you get up, padding over to the two as quietly as possible while stifling a yawn.

both individuals glance at you as you approach, watching as you sink down into the ground beside sae-byeok, rubbing your eyes with your fist. when you speak, your voice comes out slurred, still coated thickly in sleep.

"ajusshi," you mumble, blinking your eyes sleepily in his direction, "you've been on watch for a while now, right? i can do it with sae-byeok."

gi-hun frowns, leaning forward slightly, "are you sure? you look like you'll fall over at any minute."

a breathy laugh slips past your lips, "i'm sure."

he doesn't seem entirely convinced that you wouldn't fall asleep the moment you closed your eyes, but his eyes slide over to sae-byeok's and a quiet understanding seems to be exchanged between them. he nods, then gets up and leaves the two of you alone.

you settle more comfortably in your spot, bringing your knees to your chest and resting your chin on top. another yawn stretches across your face, this one lasting longer than the previous one. you press your lips together once it has passed to prevent anymore sounds from escaping.

"go to sleep." sae-byeok mutters with a tired sigh, tone flat and exhausted. you shake your head, determined to remain awake despite your dreams tugging you back.

"you said we do this in pairs. don't go back on your word now." you respond. 

sae-byeok huffs, visibly displeased by you turning her earlier words against her. she turns her head, pinning her stare onto the ground, but she doesn't make anymore attempts to convince you to leave.

a comfortable silence settles, interrupted only by the barely audible breaths coming from your sleeping companions and the rustling of sheets as people turn to adjust their positions. from beyond the small window of your makeshift barriers, you spot at least one player from the other teams keeping watch. but luckily for you and the rest of the players, no one makes any attempts to attack. 

"what does it mean?" sae-byeok inquires suddenly.

"hm?" you hum in acknowledgment, sending her a questioning glance.

"why can i feel what you feel?" she clarifies.

"fate." sae-byeok gives you a deadpan look at your answer, which makes you laugh, "i'm serious."

"what does fate have to do with anything?"

"i think maybe in another life, we knew each other. and in this timeline, we managed to find one another."

sae-byeok scrunches her face in confusion, not quite understanding your cryptic explanation. the sight of her puzzlement is so endearing, so sweet on her soft features, that you feel your heart melt into a puddle.

"my mom used to tell me this story," you start, recalling your mother's sweet voice and her grand retellings of love and intertwined souls, "that there are people out there you're meant to meet. sometimes those connections take shape in different ways." you turn to her, and sae-byeok does so at the same time, peering at you intently, awaiting your every word, every breath. your lips twitch into a smile, "and sometimes, that love is so deep, it materializes even in reincarnated souls."

"you think we're like that?" she asks.

you don't hesitate to respond, "yeah. i do."

when you can no longer ignore the insistent tugs of sleep, you and sae-byeok wake up player one and player 196, before retreating to your designated beds. no words are exchanged as you pull back the blankets and settle into the mattress, arranging your limbs into the most comfortable position.

you find yourselves laying side by side, much closer than needed, faces turned towards the other. even in the dark, being this close allows you to see sae-byeok as clearly as if it were light. you could count the freckles on her cheeks, trace the shape of her eyes and note the subtle shift of her body as she breathes, the way her lips part.

her eyes never stray from your own, either because she doesn't want to, or she physically can't. you're in a similar state, finding yourself drowning in the soft colors, taking in the emotion that swirls within, ever changing but present. it throws you off balance, making your heart unsteady, your breaths shaky.

both your hands rest on the space between you, close enough that if you moved just an inch they'd touch. and oh, how you want to do just that. to reach past the remaining distance and take her hand within your own, holding onto her warmth.

sae-byeok's eyes drift down, and as if thinking the same thing, her fingers twitch, shifting just the slightest bit closer. your breath catches in your throat, heart pounding against your ribcage, the beat of it so loud you wonder if she can hear it. tentatively, you copy her movement, twitching the appendages, noticing the fact that she doesn't back away.

bolded by the fact, and simply being unable to resist the temptation any longer, you press closer, laying your hand over her palm and curling your fingers carefully, still giving her the opportunity to pull away.

sae-byeok sucks in a sharp breath, her eyes wavering as they meet your own, but she doesn't flinch, doesn't snatch her hand away and pin you with her cold, harsh stare. instead, she swallows thickly, then curls her own fingers, gripping onto you so tightly there's no possible way for you to have any doubts about how she feels.

the revelation makes you smile, and you swear you  sae-byeok's lips twitch in response before your eyes flutter shut, and burning warmth of her fingertips pulling you to sleep.

Chapter Text

sometime during the night, both ji-yeong and sae-byeok inched closer to you.

ji-yeong lays flat on her stomach, sprawled across the mattress without a care in the world. her arm is draped lazily over your waist, leg tucked against your own, her face squished against your shoulder. you feel her soft breaths fanning against your skin, the soft mumbles in her sleep pressed against your neck.

sae-byeok's position hasn't changed, but she's closer than before, like her body had unknowingly sought out the proximity. your heads are still turned in one another's directions, aligned almost perfectly. if you tipped your head upwards, just slightly, your noses would brush, and her breaths would become your own.

your hands are still tightly woven together, held within that small space between you, which is slowly getting smaller and smaller.

the moment of tranquil peace is miniscule. as quickly as it had formed in that cloak of darkness, the sliver of time when the world goes still and comfort is found, it's gone at the earsplitting blare of an alarm echoing in the space.

you jolt awake at the sound, scrambling into a sitting position with a pounding heart. your eyes flit rapidly across the room, searching for any signs of danger to accompany the panicked undertone of the warning alarm.

simultaneously to your actions, your stomach tightens with dread, coiling into one large lump that makes it hard to breathe.

'something isn't right.'

sae-byeok and ji-yeong get up slower than you do, but while ji-yeong groans and pulls a pillow over her face, sae-byeok sits upright, mimicking your actions of glancing around the room. when her eyes finally meet your own, a flicker of concern reflects in her eyes, accompanied with confusion and unease.

even in your anxious state, you haven't let go of each other. you squeeze her hand, once, and you don't miss the light squeeze you receive in return.

you shakily get to your feet, finding the rest of your teammates awake and doing the same. their focus is drawn to the front of the room, which remains empty, but you have little doubt that it'll remain that way for long. not when the alarm persists, a stark contrast to the usual soft music that plays to wake you up.

you, ji-yeong and sae-byeok stand at the edge of the gathered players, remaining on the steps to get a clearer view beyond the metal structures. it isn't until the doors open with a loud bang and the rush of footsteps slam against the floor does your heart sink.

triangle guards. with guns. and they're pointing the barrels in your direction.

"attention. all players, please make your way to the center of the room."

your eyes search for ji-yeong's, and you find her doing the same, head turned slightly in your direction. she looks just as confused as you feel, lips turned down into a frown, her eyes skeptical. she must've came to the same conclusion you did just moments ago.

two of the guards approach your makeshift hideout. they both make quick work of creating a space large enough to fit through, and as soon as they step inside, they're lifting their guns and barking orders. you swallow hard, unconsciously tightening your hold, shifting just the slightest bit closer to sae-byeok. player 196 leaves first, followed by the rest, which leaves you no choice but to comply. you feel sae-byeok tug you forward, and you exhale shakily before hesitantly trailing after the retreating players leaving one by one.

four different lines are formed, separated mainly by teams. a handful of the guards scatter throughout the room, turning over beds and pulling apart the structures. they look like they're searching for something, but you're not sure what exactly. it couldn't be weapons. those got confiscated the other night. perhaps it has something to do with player 101's advantage in the games? did they figure out that they've been cheating?

a guard walks down the single filed lines, and despite the fact that their faces are obscured, you feel their sharp stare as they pointedly look into each players face, regarding them with what you imagine to be a look of contempt. when they pause by your own body, glancing up and down, and you find your can't bear the brunt of their scrutiny. you lower your eyes, twisting your fingers anxiously within each other, feeling like you can finally breathe when they continue walking.

you lift your head when blue danube starts playing from the speakers, the song that usually indicates the start of the next game. this presumption is proven correct when the woman's voice announces just that.

"attention. the fourth game is about to begin. please follow the staff's instructions and swiftly make your way towards the game hall."

with that, the blue door leading to the exit is opened, and the line of players are led into the winding halls.

you smell it first, the heavy, metallic scent of blood, furthering the notion that something is undoubtedly wrong. you press your sleeve against your nose, trying to stifle the stench of death, but it persists, and you don't know why until you enter the center of the halls and glance up.

four guards and a singular player are hung from the ceiling, swaying from bound wrists on a black metal pole. blood stains their uniforms, evidence of the injuries they bore that inevitably led to their demise.

and the player that was killed is from player 101's team.

he looks the worst out of the rest. the front of his shirt is almost completely red, and you recognize injuries on his arms and chest that look strangely close to bullet holes. his face wears streaks of blood, covering every inch, even his closed eyes.

you feel sick to your stomach at the sight.

"players, what you witness before you is what remains of those who broke the rules for their own benefit. they tainted the pure and fair ideology everything here has been built upon. each and every one of you is considered an equal within the walls of this facility. you must be guaranteed the same opportunities without being disadvantaged or facing any kind of discrimination.

those words make you realize exactly what this is. the gruesome scene is not done out of pure enjoyment. out of some sick and twisted delight for inflicting pain on some cheaters.

it's a message. a warning.

you shuffle back, just barely, but your back bumps into sae-byeok's chest nonetheless. you turn, trembling uncontrollably, and you're met with sae-byeok's wide eyes darting across your face. she looks just as shaken as you feel, her chest rising and falling in uneven increments.

she looks afraid.

'sae-byeok, are you also teetering off the edge of a world thrown off balance? tumbling into a place you can't return from? sae-byeok, take my hand, and i'll pull you back and steady your scrambling thoughts.'

"we truly apologize for allowing such an unacceptable incident to occur."

-

you're back in the white room from the previous day. even with the large space and everything that's occurred, each group sticks together in tightly knit circles, heads and bodies turned towards the singular speaker in the corner of the room.

"players, welcome to the fourth game. for this game, you will be playing in teams of two. please look around and find someone you wish to play with. when two people agree to play together, shake hands to show you have become partners. let me repeat the instructions."

murmurs erupt across the room as players turn their heads, perhaps searching for a friendly face, perhaps sizing up potential candidates to form a pair with, trying to decide who has the best skill sets to help them survive the next round.

it's instinctual, the way you turn your head towards ji-yeong and look for her eyes. back when you were students and you were faced with the choice of choosing a partner, it took only a second for the two of you to find each other in the room, a quiet understanding forming partnership nurtured by a lifelong bond.

but then you turn to sae-byeok, and while her eyes are set to the ground, guarded and unreadable, conflicted even, you find yourself feeling a similar way.

it doesn't help that there's an odd number of players in the room, meaning someone has to play by themselves, or they don't get the chance to play at all. given sae-byeok's personality, what if she's left alone? what if she has no one to rely on to help her survive?

"you will have ten minutes to find your partners."

when almost a minute passes by, you find yourselves seated on the steps in the center of the room, the silence tense and charged with a million racing thoughts. gi-hun is the only one who stands, facing the group, worried lines etched into his features.

mi-nyeo walks up to him, standing far too close for comfort based on the way gi-hun's face shifts into unease, "hey handsome. let's do this, huh? i'm better than you expect, and i'm stronger than most guys, too."

despite mi-nyeo's attempts, gi-hun avoids her eyes, clearly displaying his lack of interest in partnering up with her. but the woman is desperate, probably because she's noticed the same thing you have.

someone is going to be scapegoat, and she doesn't want it to be her.

"guess what? i've been convicted of fraud five times! i never got to study, but it doesn't mean i'm not intelligent, hm?"

when gi-hun refuses to answer, still looking anywhere but her, she purses her lips and turns around, pouring all her attention onto sang-woo.

"hey, let me play with you. i'll do anything you want, just say it."

sang-woo breathes deeply, and in a way that would rival gi-hun's own avoidance, begins glancing around the room and turning his head away from her own.

"you'll be shocked to see what sort of things i can do for you. hm?" she persists, leaning closer and peering into his eyes. sang-woo flinches, remaining silent, and the woman finally gets the hint.

she turns, surveying the rest of your small group. her annoyance bleeds onto her expression.

"everyone wants to be my partner. you all noticed that, right?" no one breathes a word. she laughs, "what? can't decide? want me to choose instead, huh?"

"stop embarrassing yourself." sae-byeok speaks sharply, her words as cold as ice.

the woman pauses, glancing up to meet the girl's equally frigid eyes.

"this won't get anyone to play with you," she cuts her eyes to sang-woo, "and just be honest about it. you don't want a team with a woman or an old man."

"of course we don't, we could die!" player 196 snaps, as if it's obvious, "we already almost died in the previous round."

"this man is right." player 244 agrees, "and it was adam's rib the lord used to make eve after all. and that's the reason that we're choosing men," he glances up at mi-nyeo, "they played different roles than women."

'just say you're misogynistic.' you think bitterly.

"you idiots." ji-yeong says, unimpressed, "we're not playing in eden right now."

everyone goes quiet at her words, the silence heavy with unspoken thoughts and conflicting feelings. sae-byeok must've had enough of the blatant reluctance everyone seems to possess, for she sighs and gets up, stuffing her hands into her pockets and beginning to walk off. gi-hun panics, calling out to her with an anxious tone.

"uh, hold on a second."

sae-byeok pauses, then slowly turns her body slightly to the left. her hard stare pierces through gi-hun, and when she speaks, her voice is flat, "why? you want a girl?"

gi-hun doesn't respond, but he doesn't need to. the guilty look on his face, the way his eyes flicker away for a fraction of a second, tells her exactly what she'd already anticipated. when she comes to this understanding, she glances away, then proceeds to walk away.

"come on," you pull ji-yeong to her feet, not taking your eyes away from sae-byeok's retreating figure. she doesn't protest as you lead her through the throng of players searching for a partner. luckily, no one tries to stop you, being girls and all, which makes it easy to catch up to sae-byeok.

you tug on the edge of her sleeve, earning her attention. she looks over her shoulder, and when she recognizes your features, her guarded expression softens, and she turns around to face you fully. once she's done so, she sends you a questioning glance.

"let's sit somewhere, hm?" you ask, studying her face for any sign of agreement. you find it in the slight tip of her head, which forms a large grin across your face.

you, ji-yeong and sae-byeok find yourselves at the same steps from yesterday, putting you at the highest point of the room. you look down at all the players scrambling to find a partner, their desperate pleas falling on deaf ears. you sigh, worrying at your bottom lip as you filter through the scrambled thoughts in your head.

the obvious choice is to play with ji-yeong. she's your closest friend, and the person you trust the most in this room. the thought crossed your mind the moment you heard the announcement, so this should've been easy for you.

but you can't shake off your worry for sae-byeok. you aren't sure who she would play with. none of the male players will choose her as a partner, and with her closed off personality, you're unsure if the women would approach her either. and you have a feeling she's too prideful to find someone herself. but you don't want her to play alone. maybe she prefers it that way, but you can't imagine her odds will be in her favor.

"i think you two should play with each other." you announce with a shaky exhale. both girls snap their heads in your direction, disbelief evident by their widened eyes and parted lips.

"what? why? and what about you?" ji-yeong asks.

"i can find someone else to play with. and i don't mind playing on my own if it comes to it."

sae-byeok's lips press into a deep frown, tension forming along the space between her brows. she doesn't seem to like your plan one bit, "what if we have to play against you? what will you do then?" she asks.

"the chances of that happening are low. and i have a better shot at finding someone to play with then you guys do," you take both their hands, squeezing them tightly as you stare pleadingly into their yes, "please, just partner up. i'll be fine, really."

ji-yeong is the first to waver. she releases a long, drawn out sigh, the tension in her body loosening until she's just a pile of bones and muscle in your hands. sae-byeok, on the other hand, takes a little bit longer. her eyes bore into your own, studying you carefully. you're not sure what she's looking for. maybe another reason to disagree. a falter in your defiant stance. but she never finds it, and sae-byeok realizes this fact with startling clarity.

you watch as they turn to each other, hesitating for a moment before reaching forward and solidifying their partnership with the clasp of their hands. you sigh a little in relief, knowing that with sae-byeok's quick thinking and ji-yeong's resilience, they'll be just fine in the next game.

they'll both move on to the next round. you know it.

ji-yeong grins at you when you shift closer to her. you're aware that she's still having second thoughts, but she hides her uncertainty behind her playful tone and large, bright eyes. she lowers her voice so it's low enough for only you to hear, "don't worry, i'll make sure your girlfriend comes back to you safe and sound."

you laugh, shaking your head a little in disbelief. you don't bother to correct her. not anymore, "i know you will."

you tug her into an embrace, squeezing her as hard as you can. something hard lodges itself within your throat when your feel her small hands cling to the back of your sweater, the tightness of your lungs threatening to produce tears within your eyes when she buries her face into your shoulder. the hug lasts longer that it usually does, and you're not sure why, but you feel reluctant to let her go. as if this would be the last time in a long time you'd be able to hold her like this, and maybe subconsciously, ji-yeong recognizes that, too.

"i love you, ji-yeong." you whisper, feeling your voice crack along the edges, hearing the emotion cloaking your words. words you've said countless times before, but you feel the sudden need to repeat, to assure her of just how special she is to you.

"come on, why does this feel like a goodbye?" ji-yeong mumbles back playfully, pulling away to look into your face properly. she smiles, teasingly, but her mischievous grin feels a little forced, and there's a clear shine in her eyes, like she's also holding back the need to cry.

"it's not. that's why i won't say it."

her grin widens, "see ya later then."

you nod, then direct your attention to sae-byeok, who stood off to the side during the whole exchange, her eyes fixated on an unknown point in the room to give you both some semblance of privacy. when she no longer hears your hushed voices, she turns, and the expression on her face strikes you in the ribs.

sae-byeok looks at you with her usual intense, piercing gaze, but it feels more devastating than before, because they way she looks at you, it's as if she's trying to memorize every inch of your features. like she's drinking the sight of you in, soaking in all your perfections and peculiarities. and you find yourself doing the same.

you step forward, but hesitation makes you pause just as quickly, rooting you back into place. you want to give her a hug. to feel her heartbeat against your own. to feel the overwhelming sensation of her warmth. but as tempting as it is, you're not sure how she may feel about such a intimate display of affection, and you don't want to make her uncomfortable.

instead, you find yourself reaching for her hands, and sae-byeok's stare never wavers from your eyes as she lets you, unflinching as you drag the pads of your fingertips over her bruised knuckles and calloused palms. in the light, you notice how long and slender they are, the tiny white scars running down the length. but the warmth, that never changes.

you pull one hand back and reach into your pocket, retrieving the small container of ointment. you place it gently in the center of her palm, curling her fingers over it until it's completely out of sight. when you glance up, sae-byeok still hasn't looked away, but her eyes seem to possess both a question and a realization at the same time.

"so you have a reason to come back." you whisper, giving her hands one final squeeze before dropping them.

sae-byeok's expression hardens, but not in a defensive way. more like she's holding something in, restraining an emotion she doesn't want to break the surface. her hold around the object tightens, almost protectively, as she gives the slightest nod.

you end up being paired with another woman, one much older than you, but with a soft smile and sincere eyes. you'd noticed her right away, because everyone she approached to be partners with would brush her off or ignore her completely. you felt bad, which was the primary reason you decided to hold out her hand for her to take.

"the time for finding a partner is now over."

the player that ended up pulling the short straw is mi-nyeo. you suppose none of her desperate attempts managed to convince anyone to team up with her. she stands in the center of the room, pointing a trembling, accusing hand at every player she lands her eyes upon.

"you guys, you're all making a big mistake! do you really think you can win without me on your team?"

the door opens, leading into the space where the next game will be held. players start getting to their feet, shuffling past her without even sparing her a glance. you do your best to avoid her eyes, even when she tries tugging on your sleeve to gain your attention.

"it's me, han mi-nyeo! i've made suckers of everyone there is from dongducheon to gangnam!" she glances wildly around the room, breathing heavily as her panic rises. she shoots forward, grabbing onto a random player's jacket, "what if you have to play gonggi? or elastics? i'm an expert in those! babe, please, play with me. boys aren't very good at those!"

even after you enter the game hall and the door clicks shut, you hear her yelling, followed by a scream. you glance back, staring at the closed door. you feel your heart pound inside your chest, uncertain as to what those guards are doing to her. are they killing her because she didn't find a partner?

at least it isn't you. at least it isn't ji-yeong or sae-byeok.

it's a horrible thought. to be relieved that such a fate befalls someone else rather than yourself or someone you care about. but that's what these games have done to you. whether you wanted to change or not, you have, and you don't think you could ever go back.

the game hall replicates a neighborhood during the quiet parts of the day, where the sun is beginning to set and night is getting ready to make an appearance. the walls display a beautiful orange sky with large fluffy clouds, and you notice a fading yellow sun at the back of the room, washing the room in its yellow light.

the buildings are half done. there are gates and walls, stairs that go up, but they don't lead anywhere. they're simply there to give the illusion of a house, to make the space seem bigger than it actually is. you have no idea what kind of game could be played here. not with the strange scenic background or with the large group of triangle guards gathered at the front of all the huddled players standing right outside the door.

"attention, all players. please follow the staff to your designated positions for the game."

the triangle guards scatter, and you find yourself face to face with one of them. they pause in front of you, not saying a word before swiftly turning around and leaving you no choice but to follow, even if the uneasy feeling in your stomach persists.

'why are all the teams getting separated? aren't we playing against each other?'

you're led to a courtyard next to a house. there is a red brick wall surrounding you on nearly all sides, soft glowing streetlamps just outside. you see vases and flower beds, a twinkling windchime and faded children's drawings on the concrete.

"players. please take one bag each from the staff member before you."

the triangle guard lifts up both their arms, holding two gray drawstring bags. you hesitantly reach for it, curling your fingers uncertainly around the soft fabric. it's heavy, and you hear the clink of something shifting around in the bag. you place one hand on the bottom, feeling something hard and round.

'marbles?'

"there should be a set of ten marbles in each bag. please check to confirm the number."

you pull apart the strings, peeking inside before gently pouring them into your hand. they are all a variety of different colors, swirls of blue, green, orange and silver. the colors swirl and blend into nearly one, the glassy surface glinting in the yellow light.

you count them off, until you confirm that you have the required number. as you mindlessly move the small items around in your palm, you try to work through what sort of game would require the use of marbles. there's a lot of possibilities. some about skill, some coming down to just plain luck.

"in this game, using your set of ten marbles, you will play the game of your choice with your partner."

'what?'

"the player who manages to take all ten marbles from their partner wins."

it's funny how quickly your world can shatter with just a couple of words. it feels so insubstantial, the verbal formation of syllables that takes barely any effort to say, and yet, they strike you as deeply as if it had been the sharp end of a knife or the piercing bullet. 

do the creators even realize the weight that it holds? 

do they realize they've just killed you without stopping the beating of your heart?

two words go through your mind as you feel the rapidly beating organ drop down into your stomach, sitting there with the weight of a loss you can't even comprehend. two words, and they mean everything to you.

ji-yeong. sae-byeok.

"no." you breathe out, all your despair put into that singular word.

"you will have thirty minutes for this game. let the game begin."

you manage to tear your eyes away from the heavy objects in your palms, glancing around the room. you spot other pairs in all directions, but none bearing the characteristics of the girls you're searching for.

the panic rises, clawing its way up your throat and tearing past your trembling lips.

you shoot forward, only to get pulled back by the woman you partnered up with. she's crying uncontrollably, saying you need to stay and play, but her pleas sound like static in your ears. all you can think about is them. even with her nails digging into your wrists, her weight pulling you back, your mind is focused on the two people you care about the most.

"please, i need to see them. i need-" to see your best friend. the girl you grew up with. the girl whose been there for you through everything. and you need to see sae-byeok. the girl whose quiet and reserved nature seems to soften when you're near. the girl who looks at you like you're everything. the girl who holds your heart in her hands.

one of them is going to die, and it's going to crush you all the same.

'i should've said something. i should've held ji-yeong longer. i should've held sae-byeok. i should've-'

you feel numb as you sit down on the ground, staring wordlessly at the woman's closed fist. you decided on a game of even and odd, something simple that shouldn't take too long to complete and would be as fair as possible. but as you sit there, mumbling out your guesses, it becomes harder and harder to speak.

you're not sure when you started crying. all you know is the vague sensation of something wet sliding down your cheeks, the heavy pressure on your chest, making it difficult to breathe. the woman gives you a look of pity, but she doesn't comment on it, a simple act of kindness that you're grateful for.

as the time drags on, you begin to hear the announcement of each player getting eliminated. you wait with a baited breath for either sae-byeok's or ji-yeong's number to get called, but it never does, and you don't know if that's a good sign or not. but at least it means they're alive. for however long that lasts, death has not yet taken them.

"even." you whisper, not realizing the reason why the woman has gone impossibly still and her expression has shattered. you glance up, squinting your eyes in confusion, only for her hand to turn and reveal two marbles sitting in the center. you grab them, adding them to your pile, only to stop.

there are twenty marbles.

you both lift your heads at the same time. you think you should say something. maybe apologize. or reassure her. but it all feels wrong. it tastes bitter on your tongue, and even if you'd wanted to speak, it gets trapped in your throat.

it happens so quickly.

you hear the guard approach first. then you see the gun, raised in the woman's direction, pointed right at her temple. you see the alarm widen her eyes, her mouth forming a protest or a wail. then-

BANG !

something warm and wet splatters against your face. you blink, frozen in place as you see her body drop to the floor, a pool of blood forming beneath her head. her chest remains still, all her breaths taken within that singular sound, that piercing bullet.

you shakily get to your feet, shuffling away from the fallen player. you turn, intending to bolt away to find sae-byeok and ji-yeong, but the guards must've anticipated your intentions, for you feel the brunt of the rifle get thrusted against your head, knocking you to the ground.

you exhale shakily, dark spots dancing in your vision. you fight to stay awake, to pull you body up and try again, but your mind is spinning so fast, and your body feels so heavy all of a sudden.

someone pulls you up, dragging you across the ground towards the door. you shake your head, pouring out weak protests, but no matter how much you cry and tug at their tight hold, begging for them to allow you just a chance to see sae-byeok and ji-yeong, nothing works, and the reality of the situation finally sinks in.

'i killed them. i killed them i killed them i-'

-

all kang sae-byeok can think about as she sits on the steps of some abandoned stair case is this.

'i'm glad i didn't play with her.'

she considered it, back when the woman's voice on the speaker announced that pairs should be formed. sae-byeok doesn't trust easily. she keeps people at arms length, refusing to allow someone the opportunity to betray or hurt her in any way. but if there was anyone in these games that she trusted, it was you.

she didn't at first. when she told gi-hun as such, she truly believed that anyone who found themselves playing these games for the grand prize couldn't be a good person, herself included. but you'd proven her wrong, time and time again, and there came a point where sae-byeok couldn't deny that as much as she'd like to push you away. there's only so much willpower a person holds in their body.

there's also the mystery of your connection to each other. one that allows her to feel what you feel and so on. sae-byeok still doesn't entirely understand it. the how or why, but even she can't ignore the pull she feels towards you. she'd recognized it vaguely the day you first met at the off track betting center, when her eyes had briefly met your own, and she felt the ticking hands of time go still, her body struck with a feeling she couldn't name nor escape.

but when she turned her head, fixing her attention on your worried eyes and conflicted attention, already turned towards your friend, she decided that the two of you would not be partners. she'd rather play by herself or swallow her pride and approach another player, even if it hurt her to do so.

she'd come to terms with it, which is why she walked away.

yet, she wasn't expecting you to approach her with a different solution. she knew you were kind, you'd shown her as such when you'd put yourself in danger to protect her against deok-su's brutal kicks. when you'd given her the bottle of ointment that sits in her pocket. when you'd smiled at her, and sae-byeok felt the warmth of the sun at the gentle touch of your fingers against her own.

she hadn't expected you to be so selfless though. to willingly put yourself in a difficult position just for the chance that sae-byeok and ji-yeong would survive. she had no doubt that if the game turned out as you expected, and the three of you found yourselves competing against each other, you would've found a way to let them live.

sae-byeok feels something bitter rise in her chest when she hears the rules get explained, then something that feels a little like heartbreak. she doesn't want to imagine what's going through your head, but the images get conjured up regardless, and the idea that your cheeks have become streaked with tears, that you'd blame yourself for this situation, breaks something inside of her.

she feels a slight sting on her wrist, like nails digging into her skin, and sae-byeok wonders if you're trying to reach them.

but most of all, she feels a bit of relief.

sae-byeok is good at not getting attached. that's how she's survived for so long, here and in the real world. if she must kick someone down to live, she'll do it. she has a brother to take care of after all, and a mother to bring back.

but if she'd had to play against you, sae-byeok doesn't know if she'd be able to do it. she doesn't know if she could kill you and live with the cost.

and although she doesn't feel the same way about ji-yeong as she does about you, she does find herself hesitating. she knows how much this girl means to you. although you haven't explicitly told her so, there's a comfort in the way you two move around each other that bleeds of a friendship forged from years and years of time.

she's not sure how ji-yeong can talk like the rules don't affect her. sae-byeok is vaguely aware that it does, though. she can see the slight tremble of her hands. how she chews the inside of her cheek. but she speaks with a smile on her face, switching the conversation from topic to topic to kill the time.

but most of all, she talks about you.

sae-byeok likes hearing what she has to say. she likes getting tiny glimpses into the person you were before these brutal death games. like the fact that you're a morning person, preferring to wake up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise before getting a head start to your day. or the fact that you have the world's sweetest tooth, but chocolate is your favorite flavor by far.

sae-byeok has a feeling that ji-yeong is telling her these things for a greater purpose other than to fill the void of tense silence they would otherwise be left with. it doesn't take a genius to realize that she's saying these things because one of them is going to die, and ji-yeong either wants the chance to talk about the girl who is no doubt her favorite person, or she's telling sae-byeok as much information as she can before her own death.

whatever the reason is, she finds herself pocketing the information, keeping it close to her heart. she's not sure what she intends to do with it, but she cherishes it nonetheless, and she can't quite seem to let it go even if she knows it's the rational thing to do.

as the seconds tick down, sae-byeok finds herself opening up to ji-yeong. she wouldn't normally, but with their current situation, she doesn't have much to lose. and if her luck runs out and she's the one who dies, maybe ji-yeong can relay all this information to you. she regrets not saying these things sooner, but what can she do now?

"if you win the money and get out of here, what's your plan then?" ji-yeong asks suddenly.

"i'd use it to get a house where i could be with my brother first. then i'd get our mother out of the north."

ji-yeong scoffs, but not unkindly, "hey, with a prize that big, you could do a whole lot more than that. you gotta want something else too. is there anywhere you want to go?"

sae-byeok doesn't have to contemplate it for long. it's been a desire of hers for a long time, but she's never spoken it out loud, "jeju island." she mumbles quietly, a little embarrassed. it feels childish then.

"jeju island?" ji-yeong echoes. when sae-byeok nods, she waits, encouraging her to continue.

"there was a thing about it on tv. it looked exotic. it didn't look like korea at all."

she chuckles, "hey, don't you think you should dream bigger, huh? do hawaii. hold on - go to the maldives for a while instead. and have a mojito too."

sae-byeok slowly turns her head, sending ji-yeong a questioning glance, "mojito?" she repeats, the word sounding funny on her tongue.

"like the movie. lee byung-hun's in it. 'go to mojito and have a glass of maldives.'" she recites the line, but sae-byeok has never heard of it before. they didn't get a lot of streaming channels in the north, and the small glimpses of the television she'd been able to see out in public or at work didn't usually play movies, just sports or the news. when ji-yeong notices her continued puzzled state, she laughs in disbelief, "really?"

sae-byeok shakes her head.

"oh no, we gotta fix that then. well, once we're out of here, we'll have a girl's night out, the three of us, and we'll make mojitos and everything, okay?" she laughs, but the sound doesn't quite reach sae-byeok's ears. it all comes crashing back to her then.

only one of them is coming out of this game alive. there would be no girls' night out, not with all three of them present.

she has to look away to compose herself, to push down the emotion clawing its way up to the surface.

"oh," ji-yeong mumbles softly, the realization hitting her as well.

sae-byeok finds herself answering all the questions ji-yeong sends her way, and as a result, she's even asking some of her own. to be honest, she used to find ji-yeong annoying. she didn't like the way she treated everything like a joke, but as time went on and they shared their stories, sae-byeok could see the reasons why you came to love her so much.

maybe in another life, her and ji-yeong could've been friends.

when they decide on their game, it's supposed to be simple. throw a singular marble at the wall. whoever is closest wins all twenty of the small round objects. they agreed not to drag it out. it would only hurt them in the process.

but when ji-yeong let her marble slip out of her hands, landing at her feet, sae-byeok thinks this hurts more than if it had been a proper game.

"yah, what are you doing?" sae-byeok's words come out in a rush, accompanying the panic rising in her chest.

she steps towards her, unable to help the hurt masked as frustration taking hold of her entire body. she grabs a fistful of ji-yeong's sweater, shaking her as if it would make her come to her senses, but the girl just stares at her with tear filled eyes and a tiny smile.

"i lost. you won." she states simply, as if it really were that simple, but sae-byeok knows it's not. she knows it so deeply she can't help but shove her against the wall and snap.

"stop. why the hell would you try to do that?"

ji-yeong shrugs, "hey, butter fingers, what else can i say?"

"what you said..." sae-byeok begins, "making sure that i won. is that what this is?" she recalls ji-yeong's promise to you. her reassurance that she'd return sae-byeok to her safe and sound. ji-yeong eyes widens lightly, but her smile doesn't falter, and she doesn't respond, not even to deny it. sae-byeok's anger grows, "you think i'll be thankful that you did this, huh? take another throw."

"and i still wouldn't be able to win," her face twists into exasperation, "ugh, just let me lose this thing in style, okay?"

"ji-yeong, that's bullshit! stop acting cool and just do a real throw!"

she hadn't intended for her emotions to get the best of her. but by the end of it, kang sae-byeok is breathing heavily, and she appears to be on the verge of tears. ji-yeong peers up at her, the ghost of a smile twitching at the corners of her lips, and her own eyes seem to gloss over with emotion.

"i have nothing."

"what?" sae-byeok breathes out, caught off guard by her shaky response. she studies her expression, but it looks so torn and defeated, sae-byeok can't find anything that proves she's lying. but she refuses to believe that's true, not when she's conjuring the image of your smile in her mind, the way you two held onto one another before parting ways, "so she means nothing to you?"

ji-yeong's lips tremble. her voice breaks.

"she needs you more than she needs me."

kang sae-byeok feels like she's been slapped in the face. the sensation is followed by the phantom feeling of something hard and heavy being thrusted against her temple, the sharp burst of pain forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut and clench her teeth to bite down a gasp.

for a moment, she thinks you're dead, and the sudden thought is almost enough to make her break down and cry.

but somehow, sae-byeok is able to recognize that's not true. it's distant, but in her heart, she can feel the fragility of your life. it's still beating, still present. your connection hasn't severed. the flame hasn't been snuffed out, not yet.

"i know you feel it," ji-yeong mumbles, and sae-byeok doesn't have to question her to know what she's referring to. she lifts her head, her resolve wavering at the look in ji-yeong eyes, "what you two have...it's special. it's a once in a lifetime kinda thing. if she loses you..." she inhales deeply, and when she speaks, her voice comes out shaky and quiet, "it'll kill her."

something wet slides down sae-byeok's cheek, and somehow, she knows it's not because of the throbbing sensation in her head.

"i've spent practically my whole life with her. i know everything about her. i want," she pauses, taking a brief second to fix her unraveling composure, "i want to give you a chance to get to know her the same way i did," she sniffles, pressing her lips together as if to fight back the turmoil of her emotions, but no matter how hard she tries, it's still coated deeply in her words, still evident in the tears sliding down her face, "go meet your mother. go to jeju island. and," a sob rips past her throat, "take care of her, okay?"

the tears continue falling, but sae-byeok doesn't bother wiping them away. just this once, she allows herself to cry. for her, for you, for herself. for all the what ifs and could've beens. she cries because she killed ji-yeong. she cries because she's alive, and she'll get to see you again, even if it's fleeting.

she cries because she feels so deeply, and she doesn't know what to do with it.

"kang sae-byeok!"

the girl pauses in her retreating footsteps. she doesn't turn around, can't bring herself to, but she waits and waits for ji-yeong to speak.

she hears her shaky breathing, the crack in her voice when she says, "thank you," and if she did find it in herself to turn around and face her for the last time, she has no doubt she'd find a smile on her face, "for playing with me."

she flinches when she hears the gunshot. another tears slips down when she hears ji-yeong's body hit the ground. and she feels her heart sink at the announcement that follows.

"player 240, eliminated."

Chapter Text

with every player that walks into the white room you started in, your eyes frantically scan past their faces and numbers, but none wear the features that resemble either of your friends, making your heart grow heavier and heavier with dread. 

the throbbing in your head hasn't ceased, and neither has the distant ringing in your ears. you feel it pounding inside your head, like a fist banging against a door, relentlessly and with all its power. yet your stomach bears the worse of it. twisting and turning, the tension inside of you coiled so tight you know it's bound to break soon, opening a wound you're not ready to feel nor acknowledge. 

all these uncomfortable sensations only make the waiting even more torturous than it already is, and you're not sure how much longer you can bear it, not when you already feel yourself cracking under the pressure, losing a part of your heart with every second that passes.  

your eyes glance towards the timer. nearly a minute left. and still no sign of either of the girls. 

'what if they couldn't do it? what if both their bodies lay dead on the floor, and you're left none the wiser? what if - '

then you finally see her, and you're struck with two emotions at once. 

relief. like running your fingers through cold water on a hot sunny day. like embracing a person you haven't seen in a long time. like admitting a bitter truth, only to be met with comfort rather than contempt. 

and pure, unfiltered heartbreak. with damage that's irreversible. a wound that never heals, it only bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. the kind that lodges itself hard in one's throat, a heavy pressure that cannot be eased from one's lungs. a heart that can never be whole again, because when that person left, they took a piece of it with them. 

kang sae-byeok shuffles into the room, her head down, silent. it takes her several seconds to finally glance up, to drag her eyes across the room in search of something, someone. when she finally meets your own, her own relief is instant. her rigid shoulders sag, her eyes briefly flutter shut, a soft exhale leaving her lips. 

but when they open again, her demeanor shifts. you recognize the most prominent emotion. you've seen sae-byeok in pain before, but never like this, never so devastatingly eminent. it's always been physical, caused by a cruel hand, but nothing she couldn't heal from or brush off with the right amount of time.

but this pain, blending into regret, carves deeper than a kick to the ribs or the press of a sharp point. it mars every inch of her features, infecting the shape of her eyes and the tilt of her lips. it's the kind of expression that rises when one has experienced a loss so substantial it's difficult to hide the impact it's left, affecting more than just the body, plaguing the heart and soul. 

sae-byeok's eyes are rimmed red. there are dried tear tracks on her cheeks, glistening in the bright white lights. her lips tremble, like she's fighting back the urge to break down again. and the expression on her face, the guilt, as if her existence came with a cost she regrets, hits you with a force so hard it feels akin to a knife being plunged within your chest. 

because if sae-byeok is here, that only means one thing. 

ji-yeong is dead. 

you will never see her again. the faded highlights in her short brown hair. the piercing on her nose, which always made her look so cool. you will never hear the bored tone of her voice, the teasing lilt she likes to assume, her unrestrained laughter. you'll never sit in your room painting each other's nails. she'll never comfort you when life feels so difficult you don't know how you'll endure it. 

she's probably in some box somewhere, her body disposed of. gone. as if she didn't even exist in the first place. 

sae-byeok pauses right in front of you. all it would take is one step to reach her. but she stops just before that line, as if she's hesitant to approach you, as if she doesn't deserve the proximity of your presence. 

one tear slips down her cheeks, followed by another, then another, until you can't distinguish between which are fresh and which are old. 

kang sae-byeok is crying, and you feel your heart shatter along with the realization. 

"i'm sorry," she croaks out, a fresh wave of tears spilling from her eyes. she hangs her head in shame, her hair falling to obscure her broken expression, "it's my fault. i didn't-"

you rush forward without a second thought. 

it's natural, almost instinctual, the way the two of you meet in a tight embrace. it's like finally coming home after years of searching for it, and you realize it was never a building, never a physical place for you to shed your burdens and ease into the comfort. all along, it's been a person, and the feeling of sae-byeok's warm body against your own makes you realize you've found it. 

"no," you gasp, feeling your own voice crack along the edges. you find that not a sliver of deceit can be found in your words. you would never blame sae-byeok for living in exchange for ji-yeong's death. that's the truth. nothing but the truth, "no, it's not."

her fingers clutch onto the back of your sweater, clinging to you like you're the only thing keeping her tethered to the earth, stable on the ground. she buries her face into the crook of your shoulder, her wet tears hitting your skin as her body shakes with the effort of her sobs.

seeing sae-byeok crumble like this, feeling the way she breaks down, kills something inside of you. 

you pull back, just enough to look into her face, to see her splotchy complexion and torn state. you reach up, laying your hands on her cheeks, and sae-byeok doesn't pull away, doesn't even flinch. she just sniffles, blinking rapidly, her tears catching onto the tip of her long lashes. 

you don't want her to cry, not when it affects her so piercingly, and you feel it tearing through your own chest just the same. 

gingerly, you brush your thumbs along the corners of her eyes, wiping away the tears before they fall. sae-byeok exhales shakily, fluttering her eyes shut, and you notice the way she seems to calm down ever so slightly. how her breathing evens out, the water from her eyes reducing in both speed and amount until there's nothing left. when she finally blinks them open, they're glassy with a thin layer of her remaining pain, but it's not as prominent as before, and there's something else slowly taking over, something that makes your breath catch, just barely. 

something a little like love. 

the walk to the main living quarters is silent. when you glance around at all the other players, their faces are sunken in, hollow, and there's a haunted look in their otherwise empty eyes. there's no doubt they are also feeling the emotional toll of the loss of all the other players. people had chosen someone they trusted. for some, someone they'd love. 

and they'd paid the consequences of caring so deeply. 

when you enter the room, you find that the space has been rearranged. the makeshift barrier you'd made with your group is now gone, cleaned up without a trace. with nearly half of the players now dead, their beds have been taken along with it. ji-yeong's bed. ali's bed. player one's bed.

you never did get to learn his name. in the outside world, he was a person. perhaps a brother, or a father, or grandfather. but in this place, he'll only be remembered as a number. 

how easy it is to erase their existence by taking their bodies and possessions, how cruel. 

you find yourself pausing along with the rest of the players when you spot a shift of movement in your peripheral vision. you turn, noticing a body laying peacefully in a bed, the blanket drawn upon her figure. they sit up the moment they hear your approaching footsteps, and you realize with a start that the figure is mi-nyeo. the only person who couldn't find a partner in the game. 

you'd assume she was dead. after all that screaming and begging, you'd imagined the guards pointing a gun at her face and putting her out of her misery. 

but instead, she's here, blinking away the sleep in her eyes, completely untouched by the horrors of the past hour. 

a triumphant smile curls her lips when she spots player 101, who stands at the front of the crowd. she lifts her hand in a mocking wave. 

"deok-su, honey. you're home at last." she purrs sweetly, but the words drip with venom, concealing her simmering irritation. 

"what?" he stammers out. he must've thought the same thing you did. that by casting her aside, he'd finalized her death. his eyes roam across her face, complete and utter disbelief breaking through the surface, "how did you.."

"what?" she grumbles. the smile on her lips drops so quickly you wonder if it was ever there in the first place, "you're looking at me like your mother's returned from the dead," she scoffs, disgusted by the sight. she looks around, then points to a guard, "the masked guy said i was the weakest link. like when nobody'd choose you as a partner for things when you were a kid! hey! i know this guy gets it! the weakest link!" she laughs, the sound grating against your ears, "then after that, they gently escorted me back to this room." 

as she laughs again, you feel your world come crumbling down for the third time that day. you come to a startling realization. 

'mi-nyeo didn't have to play. she didn't have to choose her life over someone else's. she didn't have to feel her heart break when she possessed all twenty marbles.'

you know it's stupid to think so. there's no way you could've known what the game would be, let alone that your partner would end up becoming your opponent. but even so, you can't help the thought that runs through your mind. 

'i could've saved them. if i'd let sae-byeok or ji-yeong without a partner, they both could've lived.' 

her cackles eventually blend into a long sigh, then finally, a beat of silence, "because, they said that it's all part of a rule they had. in the old days, so that a kid doesn't turn into some kind of outcast," she produces another scoff, "well fuck. isn't that amazing?" 

you flinch at the continued onslaught of her laughter, mocking and degrading. even though it's directed to deok-su, her accusatory finger pointed in his direction, you feel the scorn of her words all the same. 

'i could've saved them.'

dinner for that night isn't exciting. just your usual bottle of water and a singular baked potato. it's the first time since arriving that the food has been warm. but as you sit on the steps next to sae-byeok's bed, staring down at the vegetable, all you can do is laugh. 

"ji-yeong hated baked potatoes." you announce. from the corner of your eyes, you see sae-byeok glance up at your words, but your attention remains fixated on your meal, feeling both bitterness and amusement and every churning emotion in your stomach, "she said that it's a boring way to eat such a delicious food. french fries were her favorite. she liked how exotic it was."

you can recall the memory vividly, as if it just occurred recently. the first time ji-yeong had tried french fries at an american inspired restaurant, she'd gone crazy over it. not only had she'd devoured her portion in an instant, but she'd plucked a couple from your own plate as well. from that point on, whenever you made dinner involving potatoes, she'd insist on eating them in the same way. cut into rectangles, put into the deep fryer and lightly dusted with salt. 

you'd learned how to make it just for her because you knew how happy it made her to eat it. her smile would be large and unrestrained, her eyes sparkling with delight. 

you'd do anything to see that expression on her face, just one last time, even if it's fleeting. 

sae-byeok lowers her head, staring down at the baked potato, contemplative in her silence. she doesn't respond to your reminiscing, but you know she listened, taking in your words as carefully as she can and tucking them away into her mind. 

she lifts her hand, taking small bites of her food. she chews slowly, tiny sniffles produced from her nose, but thankfully, she doesn't cry anymore. even then, you find yourself wanting to offer her some comfort, to reassure her that her grief is not just for her to bear, not alone. 

you scoot closer, until your sides are pressed together, warmth exchanged freely between you both. she doesn't move away, doesn't push you off either. if anything, she leans into it, laying her head on top of your own. 

you hear the rattle of metal, followed by quiet, stumbling footsteps. both you and sae-byeok lift your heads towards the sound, spotting a man staggering slowly down the steps onto the main floor. you recognize him as the player who came here with his wife, and if you remember correctly, they'd chosen each other as partners. 

"let's..." he mumbles out, his voice barely above a whisper, "let's just stop here."

his torn expression, the crack in his tone, prompts the rest of the players to glance up. most eye him warily, unsure of what he'll say or do, others regard him with pity, feeling sorry for his current state. and others, individuals like sang-woo, stare at him with a flicker of irritation. 

"i can't keep doing this. i can't..." he leans forward, breaking down into tears. his sobs echo throughout the space, bouncing from the walls and back to your ears. when he stands back upright, rivers are running down his cheeks, "we can stop if more than half of us agree. if nine of us agree we can get out of here. don't any of you want to leave this horrible place? anyone who wants to go, stand up. let's get out of here."

he glances around the room, searching for a face in the crowd that shows even an ounce of agreement. but no one makes a move, no one breathes a word, and at the revelation, he breaks down once more. harder this time, his desperation tearing through his body, breaking everything within him, from his voice to his composure.  

"how can you call yourselves human? can you really continue with this insanity? just for that money?" he shouts, his voice ragged and raw, "you killed the person you were closest to in this place, and you're fine with that? just to get the money?"

"and what if we get out?" sang-woo challenges. he stands up, slowing walking over to the trembling man, "you think your wife will stop being dead if we go home? will you be forgiven for letting her get killed? if you're that tormented, how come you came back alive?"

at player 69's continued silence, sang-woo's earlier irritation rises, turning into pure frustration and anger. he shoots forward, grabbing a fistful of the man's jacket. he shakes him aggressively, as if demanding his attention, as if trying to find the sense within his crumbling mind. 

"you should've been the one who died in there instead of her." he seethes, the bite in his voice so harsh even you flinch. he points to the glass pig, "see that? that's not just the cost of your wife. it's the cost of every person who's died in here. and you wanna go and leave? you wanna start from the beginning again? are you ready to live like that? starting over again from nothing with that guilt?" 

the man doesn't respond. he just whimpers, pathetic and pitiful in sang-woo's sharp eyes. he finally releases him, and the player stumbles back with a barely concealed sob. 

sang-woo addresses the entire room, his eyes wild, lips curled into a sneer, "is everybody here ready to do that as well? go ahead! stand up! let's see who thinks they are. get up and get out of here!"

no one answers. you're not sure if it's because they agree with his outburst, his logical reasoning, or if they're struck with fear, just as you are. sang-woo is breathing heavily in the center of the room, calming down steadily, but you don't forget the snap of his voice, how it echoes in the room even though the vibrations have long since passed. 

you curl closer to sae-byeok, trembling slightly, forcing your eyes away from the scene. it's the first time you've been scared of sang-woo. the man has always appeared so composed, navigating through the games with a cool mind. while everyone else is freaking out, he's the support system that calms their racing thoughts. 

but now you see the way the games have changed him. or maybe this side of him has always been there, lurking beneath the surface, drawn out by the right circumstances. 

and yet, as terrified as you are, you hate the way that he's right. 

if you gave up now, ji-yeong's death would mean nothing. ali's death would have had no impact besides emotional damage. and if you returned home without the prize money, only with your broken heart and the loss of your best friend, your sister would still end up dead. 

you'd have lost it all for nothing.

- 

sae-byeok's eyes, as dark as they are, stand out amongst the veil of shadows blanketing the atmosphere. 

it's been thirty minutes since the lights shut off and the world went quiet. players shuffled to their designated beds, pulling the covers over their bloody, trembling bodies and closed their eyes to sleep. but not you, and not sae-byeok. 

you lay side by side in her bed, facing one another, not speaking a word, but not trying to sleep either. you share the singular blanket on the bed, the fabric drawn tight, protecting you against the cold. but you hardly feel it, not with sae-byeok mere inches - no - mere centimeters from your own body. not when she stares at you so intently, drinking the sight of you in, you feel your breath catch in your throat, never quite finding a way to release it. 

distantly, you hear a prayer being spoken out loud insistently beneath someone's breath. somehow, the priest made it past the round. you have a feeling he's probably praying for forgiveness, or thanking the higher being for 'choosing' him to continue on. a bubble of loathing bursts from your chest. you hate it. ji-yeong would've hated it, too. 

at the reminder of your friend, the pain in your heart becomes more prominent. it aches and it aches, to the point where you wonder if there's something wrong with it. you've heard of people dying from a broken heart. a phenomena that can't quite be explained, but sometimes, emotional damage can be worse than physical. 

"you know, ji-yeong only came here because of me." you mumble quietly, breaking the silence. sae-byeok flits her eyes between your own, waiting quietly for you to continue. you exhale shakily, tightening your fingers into a fist, "i needed the money to help pay for my little sister's cancer treatment, and ji-yeong-" you choke on a sob, the sudden bout of emotion unexpected and disorienting. you swallow hard, "she came because she wanted to help me."

a single tear forms, the emotion filled droplets sliding down your cheeks. you look up into sae-byeok's eyes, noting the shape of them, how they are creased with an emotion you can't quite name, but feels close to devastation, worry, hesitation and so much more. perhaps a mix between all those, or something different entirely. 

you're not sure what to do with it. how to function beneath such a considerable look. 

"it's my fault. i should've convinced her to stay behind. i shouldn't have suggested that the two of you play together. i killed her, sae-byeok, i almost killed you i-"

sae-byeok moves quicker than you can blink. one moment she's peering at you quietly, allowing you to break down before her, and the next her arm is reaching for your face, her sleeve pulled over her hands. you feel the fabric press gently against your cheeks, her motions slow and tentative as she wipes away the tears falling rapidly down your face.

"it's not your fault." she mumbles quietly. there's a sincerity in her voice, an honest note that you can't ignore even if the guilt in your body poisons your mind with the need to blame yourself. you think of just a couple hours prior, when sae-byeok had been quick to take the burden, how quickly you'd taken away the harmful thoughts. how the tables have turned, and she doesn't hesitate to return the favor. 

the tender act of her reassuring you, the way she picks up your unraveling threads and puts them back together, only makes you break down even harder than before. 

this time kang sae-byeok is the one to tug you into an embrace. her arms are firm and steady as they wrap around your back, gently pulling you flush against her tall, lean frame. you immediately return the hug, clinging to her sweater, sobbing uncontrollably into the crook of her shoulder. 

every part of yourself falls apart, the grief wrecking through your body, the guilt making it hard to breathe. but sae-byeok waits, picking up the pieces, helping you glue it all back together when your cries eventually quiet down and your breathing evens out. 

at some point, you feel her fingers thread through your hair, the motions hesitant and slow, uncertain about the action, like she's afraid to hurt you or overstep a boundary. her body begins to tremble alongside your own, which spurs her on to hold you tighter, as if fearful of letting go. like doing so would mean losing you. 

"i came here for my little brother," sae-byeok starts suddenly. you pull back slightly, looking up into her face. you find that her eyes are already locked on your own, her gaze intense and unwavering, "i left him at a shelter before i got here. i wanted-" she pauses, struggling to continue. you hear a bit of emotion coat her voice, thick and heavy. she swallows hard to let it pass, "i wanted a better life for him. that's why i came here."

"you're an older sibling. that makes a lot of sense." you say with a tiny smile. sae-byeok, although cold at first, has this nurturing nature hidden in that stoic personality of hers. she's attentive and cautious, caring when she allows a person in, which you know comes from having younger siblings, being the eldest daughter yourself. 

"wasn't always," she mumbles, "i used to have an older brother."

"what happened to him?"

"he got sick," she states quietly. she blinks, a faraway look glossing over her dark brown eyes. like she's remembering something from a long time ago, a memory she hasn't visited in a while, "back in north korea, there was a plague that went through my village. my grandparents got sick, too. with every death, they were piling dead bodies on top of each other and setting it on fire. the three of them burned together."

your heart clenches at sae-byeok's words for a multitude of reasons. for one, an image is conjured in your mind, one that consists of a younger, smaller version of the girl in front of you, her tiny mind trying to wrap around the concept of death, especially that of a loved one. 

the other reason is because of the fact that sae-byeok is talking about her past, which goes to show just how much she trusts you. the fact that she's willing to open up about a topic that's clearly difficult for her to touch upon proves just how much you mean to her, regardless of your soulmate bond. 

you lift up your hand, brushing away the bangs on her forehead. her eyes flutter shut at the soft touch, practically keening beneath the contact. 

"my parents died in a fire," sae-byeok opens her eyes at the sound of your quiet whisper, fixated intently on your somber expression. her silence, attentive, coaxing you gently, prompts you to continue after inhaling deeply, "the whole building was in flames, but our unit had the worst of it. i remember my mom handing me my baby sister and telling me to run. i didn't want to leave, but i had her to think about," you press your lips together, fighting down the urge to cry. the memories, as old as they are, still hurt even to this day, "after i got out, i begged the firefighters to go look for them, but it was too late." 

sae-byeok's lips tremble, just slightly, but you catch the shift in her expression and the vulnerable look in her eyes, "i'm sorry."

"don't be." you lift your lips into a small smile, just wide enough to reassure her that although it hurts, it doesn't affect you as intensely as it did before. you drag your fingers from her forehead down the slope of her nose, tracing the freckles splattered along the dips of her cheeks. her eyes follow the movement, "are your parents still alive?"

"just my mom. but she didn't make it past the border. she was hiding in china for a bit, but the immigration agents found her and sent her back. i'm trying to get her out."

so that's the full story of why sae-byeok is here. not to pay off a debt made from irresponsible choices. not for greed or anything of the sort. sae-byeok's intentions are pure and selfless, centered around her unwavering love for her family. 

it makes sense now, why she looks so exhausted all the time. why she puts up such a guarded front. sae-byeok must struggle trying to balance her responsibilities, between providing for her younger brother and protecting his innocence to doing everything she can to save her mother. 

there's no doubt that sae-byeok is one of the strongest people you know. it's what you admire about her. her will, which never wavers. her heart, which always beats steady and firm. but sae-byeok is only human, and you know life wears her down, bit by bit, and she may not notice it at first, but you do. 

'sae-byeok. i wish i could carry your burdens for you. i wish the world wasn't so cruel. i wish to smooth down your hard edges, to prove to you that life doesn't always have to pass by so quickly. that you're allowed to take a break. to breathe. to find comfort in the stillness.'

"you'll find her. i know you will," you lean in closer, just a breath away from sae-byeok. you feel her skin grow warm beneath the pad of your thumbs, sunsets on her cheeks, "once we get out of here, i'll even help you look."

sae-byeok suddenly reaches up, laying her palm flat over your own. your heart stutters as she holds your hand against her cheek, prolonging the contact, as if unwilling to part just yet. it's both endearing and startling, your mind struggling to function beneath her burning touch. 

"ji-yeong told me something."

you hum lightly in acknowledgement, afraid to answer verbally in fear of your voice betraying your still racing heart. 

sae-byeok scrunches her face in confusion. she parts her lips, which move uncertainly, like she's figuring out how to form a word that tastes funny on her tongue, "drink a glass of maldives and go to mojito?"

you can't help it. she got the saying wrong, and the puzzled look on her face makes you melt. you sputter out a laugh, "she was obsessed with that movie. as soon as summer started, she'd play it on the tv. i'm assuming she made fun of you for never watching it?"

she nods, "she said we could have a girls night," she pauses, then continues, but in a quieter, hesitant tone, "i've never had one of those before."

'oh sae-byeok. i'd give you everything and more. anything you ask for, it's yours.'

"we still can. we can do it the way me and ji-yeong used to when we were in grade school. we'd put on face masks and order food and we'd gossip all night long," you sigh, shaking your head, "she always fell asleep first, though." 

sae-byeok releases a breath, almost like a laugh, "i'd like that."

then, sae-byeok does something she's never done before. 

the corners of her lips twitch, forming the ghost of amusement and pure, unfiltered joy. then, they lift upwards, gently curling into what cannot be mistaken for anything else but the smallest of smiles. 

'sae-byeok smiled. i made kang sae-byeok smile. 

and it's undoubtedly the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.'

you feel struck by the sight. not just because it's unexpected, not because you've never seen it before, but because the way a sincere smile softens sae-byeok's face makes her even prettier than she already is. her eyes crease at the corners, the colors of her dark brown eyes like watching sunlight take shape in the air. how the lines and dips of her expression shift, bending beneath the soft grin. 

you greedily drink the sight in, tasting the sweetest of it, getting drunk off of the sensation that forms in your chest, right beside your heart. you wish to see countless more smiles from her. to hear her unrestrained laughter. to simply exist simultaneously with her, over and over again, stretching beyond what is comprehensible. 

"my mom used to tell me this story. about timelines and alternate universes," you fingers slide down to sae-byeok's neck, tracing the scar that runs down the length of her throat, "i think in another life, the three of us live in a cute little neighborhood together. quiet. peaceful. no debt at all. no stress over money. we just live simple and happy lives." you lift your eyes, grinning unabashedly in sae-byeok's direction, "she told me that there's a place where all these lives intersect. like a crossroad. and that's how you reach these different places." 

sae-byeok blinks owlishly, quiet but attentive to your spinning tale. she looks like a small child, then, mainly because of the flicker of awe that reflects in her eyes, parting her lips. 

"she wouldn't tell me where exactly to find this place, but i liked to think that it was at the beach. i always thought it was so magical there, like a whole other world. there was no way that it could ever be ordinary. i was convinced that it had to be hiding something greater."

"i want to go there."

"to the beach?" you ask, tilting your head slightly in confusion. 

"to jeju island." she clarifies. 

her flat, but honest response makes you laugh, "we're a lot more similar than i thought," she frowns, puzzled, not quite understanding why you've fallen into a fit of giggles. you recollect your composure enough to explain, "i've always wanted to live there. jeju island. it's been my dream since i was a kid."

her lips form into a tiny 'o'. her gaze flickers away for a brief moment, contemplative. you bring her attention back by tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before trailing back down to the scar. 

"sae-byeok," you feel her pulse jump at the sound of her name. you lean forward, pressing your lips against the apple of her cheeks, "let's go there together, okay?"

sae-byeok falls asleep first. you find yourself staring at her, admiring her calm, peaceful expression, her lashes brushing against her cheekbones. you delicately trace a finger along the stars across her nose and the slope of her cheeks, mapping out constellations present in the expanse of soft, warm skin. you stare at the barely present parting of her lips, listening to the equally as soft breaths. 

you drag you fingers up, gently pressing your fingers against her forehead, swiping her bangs to the side. she shifts slightly, mumbling something incoherent beneath her breath, but she doesn't wake up. if anything, she relaxes under your touch. a quiet laugh escapes you. 

your eyes wander around the room, straining against the darkness. nearly everyone is asleep, the silence accompanied by low snores and soft breathing. everyone, that is, but gi-hun. you lock eyes with him from across the space, an unspoken understanding passing through the contact. you spare another look at sae-byeok, her body curled into a small ball. you tug the blanket further up her form, then stand up and walk over to him. 

"can't sleep?" he asks lightly with a small smile. 

you shake your head. gi-hun scoots over, patting the empty space beside him in invitation. you tentatively sit down, pulling your knees to your chest and resting your head on top. 

it's quiet for several moments. the silence isn't exactly uncomfortable. there's no need to say anything to fill it. you're just two players seeking comfort in the dark. but words dance on the tip of your tongue, and gi-hun also appears conflicted, like he wants to say something, but he's not sure how to approach the topic weighing heavily on your minds. 

"i'm sorry about player one." you eventually whisper. gi-hun spares you a glance, his eyes sad and regretful. he releases a long, drawn out breath. 

"i'm sorry about your friend."

you remain quiet. the reminder still stings, a fresh wound that's yet to start healing. you don't know if it ever will. 

"i've lost people before. but ji-yeong..." you swallow hard, finding it difficult to speak, but you push through it, determined to let it out, "i never thought i'd lose her. in every part of my life, she was there," you curl in on yourself even further, as if making yourself as small as possible would make the pain smaller, too, more tolerable to bear, "i don't know how to live my life without her."

the world doesn't slow down when you grieve, especially in here. the next morning, you'll still be expected to play yet another game. and once again, you'll have to think of sae-byeok's and your own survival. you'll be forced to push your heartbreak aside, barely getting a moment to process everything that's happening, to fully feel the emotions stirring in your chest. 

gi-hun reaches over and rubs a soothing hand down your shoulder. you feel the tears coming, slipping silently down your cheeks. the gentle press of his hand massaging your shoulders is comforting, like a father consoling a small child. he reminds you a lot of your father. kind. always attempting to make someone laugh or smile. just his presence is enough to calm you.

"sometimes it feels like we'll never get better, but we will. it doesn't have to happen all at once," he squeezes your shoulder, once, firm and steady, "you can take your time. grieve for as long as you want."

a laugh slips from your lips. you wipe your face with your sleeve, sniffling, "that's so wise, ajusshi. i never would've expected it from you."

"yah," he reprimands gently, but his smile never wavers, "i've lived a lot longer than you. i know my stuff."

"yeah, but when we first met, i didn't really have a good first impression of you."

"i'm a changed man now. me and sae-byeok agreed to forgive and forget."

you giggle at the reminder. he was so different at that time. you easily disliked him, "you were so angry with her back then."

"she stole my money! i was gonna use that for my daughter's birthday."

"then you attacked her. twice."

"yah, you're no better. you left me on the side of the road. in the freezing cold." he complains. 

you instantly feel guilty at the reminder. you bow your head slightly, "right. i'm sorry about that."

he laughs, patting your back gently before dropping his hand, "don't worry about it. forgive and forget, right?"

you both laugh, released beneath your breaths, taking all the tension in the air with it. the sounds eventually ease into a wistful sigh, and then finally, silence. 

you let it sit for a while, stretching across the seconds, and eventually minutes, that tick by. the longer it lingers, the more your worry seems to form, first sitting in your stomach, then proceeding to plague your mind. it's relentless, the thoughts that surface, to the point where it becomes difficult to ignore. 

"ajusshi," you mumble. gi-hun turns, peering at you expectantly, urging you to continue. you turn your own head, looking up into his kind, gentle features, your voice small and quiet in your throat, fearful of the outcome that will arise from such an inquiry, "do you really think we'll make it out of here alive?"

gi-hun smiles, nodding his head firmly, confident without an ounce of doubt, "we will. i'll make sure of it."

you want to believe gi-hun. you want to believe it so badly you're willing to overlook the technicalities of the games. you ignore the slim chance that things may not go in your favor, no matter how reverently you wish upon a certain outcome. 

you want it so badly, you're content with remaining ignorant of the bitter truth your brain came to. 

"promise?"

"i promise."

Chapter Text

something has shifted in the air. you can't quite explain it, can barely even understand it yourself, but somehow, someway, you're able to catch the subtle change the moment you wake up.

there's a burning sensation behind your eyelids, a result of the lights suddenly flickering on with their bright, white substance and washing across the room. the loud, obnoxious sound of violins and trumpets coming from the speakers causes you to jump, followed by a low groan from deep within your throat.

annoyed, you turn onto your side, bumping into the slumbering figure beside you. you blink, coming face to face with sae-byeok, who slowly opens and closes her eyes in slight confusion. the color is bleary with her sleepiness, her grogginess still layered upon her expression.

it's endearing, the way she looks first thing in the morning. when her mind has not quite caught up with the pace of the world, still floating in the depths of her sleep and dreams. for a moment, however brief, it's just kang sae-byeok, with her small yawn and unruly bedhead.

the corner of your lips twitch into a smile, and you swear her own lifts up slightly in return.

but the tranquil moment is shattered by the blare of an alarm, insistent and carrying all the negative connotations of panic and a warning. all her sleepiness vanishes at the sound, your own gone along with it. you both hastily sit up, eyes drawn to the door at the front of the room where you hear the click of the mechanisms being released to allow the heavy metal to part.

a group of guards come in, their bright pink jumpsuits a stark contrast to the rest of the room. it's hard to take your eyes away from their long, even strides, their presence commanding attention and obedience.

but also because of the long, rectangular box they carry between themselves, the pink ribbon and bow feeling like some cruel joke.

you suddenly feel sick to your stomach when the meaning behind their visit hits you.

someone is dead.

your eyes snap to the other side of the room, where gi-hun sits at the edge of his bed, shaken with fear, but alive nonetheless. you breathe a little sigh of relief at the reassurance, attention dragging deliberately across the remaining space. pretty much all the players are present. then who -

you stifle a small, horrified cry when you finally see it.

there, in the back of the room, is player 69. but he doesn't lay in his bed like the other players do. he doesn't even stand, glancing around the room, also in search of the reason for the guard's sudden visit. instead, his body hangs uselessly from the bars of the metal structures, swinging side to side, a bedsheet coiled tightly around his neck.

your stomach lurches.

someone didn't kill him. he didn't have any injuries that caused him to bleed out or his body to fail.

he killed himself. that man, driven by grief and guilt so intense, took his life because he couldn't bear the weight on his shoulders and the looming shadow that would inevitably follow him for the rest of time.

"player 69, eliminated."

your fingers wind their way around the sleeve of sae-byeok's jacket, body curled along the side of her frame. your breathing is unsteady, muscles locked down, the image of player 69's lifeless body burned forever in your mind. it remains, even as the guards cut the bedsheet loose and lower him into the casket.

the lights dim, pulling your attention to the center of the room. as expected, a couple stacks of cash fall into the pig, taking as much remaining space as possible. it's nearly completely full now. only sixteen of you remain, but there's still two games left to be played.

'how many more of us will die until it's finally over?'

"attention, all players. the fifth game is about to begin. all players, follow the staff's instructions and swiftly make your way towards the game hall."

you and sae-byeok share a look before doing as told.

you follow the familiar steps of the halls. the first time you'd wandered through here, you'd been amazed by the structures, the bright colors. excited, even, by the prospect of reigning victorious in a competition that could solve all your problems and more.

but now, all that wonder has vanished, replaced by dread and apprehension. you trail behind gi-hun, sae-byeok right behind you. no one speaks. no one even looks at one another. exhaustion has become a familiar feeling, but not just the physical kind. the sort of tiredness that takes root in the brain, poisoning a person's willpower, their mental strength. with time, it wears it down until it takes the form of numbness.

does it really take so little time to get used to this? to expect these outcomes as if there's no other choice?

you hate the familiarity. you want to wrench it out of your mind and crush it beneath the heel of your foot.

you're led through a door, which brings you to the same white room you've prepared all your other games within, but you enter in a different part of the space. you step onto a raised platform with stairs that lead down onto the main floor, a row of mannequins awaiting you at the bottom. 

they each stand on their own white cube, the human like shapes the same color as the rest of the space, practically blending into the walls. the only pop of brightness is the pink vests they wear, the same shade as the triangle guards standing throughout different parts of the room.

"welcome, players, to the fifth game. before we begin, please make your way down the steps and choose one of the mannequins that you see presented before you. once you've chosen, take the corresponding vest. they are numbered 1 through 16. let me repeat the instructions."

as the voice repeats the words, the energy in the room shifts. hundreds of thoughts race through each players minds as they glance between the row of numbers, trying to decipher the clues presented before them to figure out the best course of action.

you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking. the numbers have to be some kind of order, right? or at least a label for yourself in the next game. no, that doesn't make sense. they could just use your current numbers if they wanted to do that. so then what is it?

player 244 is the first one brave enough to step forward. his light footsteps echo across the otherwise vacant room, ceasing when he pauses by the mannequin with the vest that displays the number six.

"it was on the sixth day that god created the first man on earth. and now, i will go back to that day god made us..." he pauses, then finishes with a sort of finality, "sinless and innocent."

he grabs the vest then walks off to the side.

another player moves. player 151. he stops in front of the seventh number, taking in a deep shaky breath as if to steel his nerves, "okay. lucky number seven, come on."

as he's also taking it off the mannequin, another player moves, but this time, his actions are quicker than the others, almost hurried and desperate. this spurs on the rapid movement of several of the other remaining players. all at once, a whole group of them rush forward, fighting and yelling. by the time they disperse, scattered in different directions, all the numbers in the middle have been taken.

all the safe numbers, you realize. not first, but not last. satisfactory enough to get by.

"your attention, please. the numbers you see on the mannequins correspond to the order in which you will be playing. please make your decision carefully."

so you had been right with your first assumption. but even with the confirmation, the truth doesn't make the decision any easier to commit to. if anything, it makes it even harder.

how do you determine which number is best? is it better to be first or last? if you're first, you don't get a chance to observe how the game is played. but if you're last, you might not get the best circumstances to play in, and you risk time running out.

gi-hun suddenly starts moving. your eyes follow him as he walks towards the set of lower numbers, the determined set of his strides exuding a sort of confidence you didn't know he possessed. his steps are long and even, his head held high, shoulders rolled back, absolutely sure of himself.

then he stops, abruptly, locked down into place, like he's been struck with a sudden realization.

"go for a high number." sae-byeok whispers, and you wonder if she'd come to the same realization that gi-hun just did. a part of you wants to question it, but you don't have much time left, not when the numbers are getting taken quicker than you can blink.

you nod, following her down the steps. an older man takes number 12. sang-woo reaches for number 13. sae-byeok grabs the number 15, which leaves you with 14. when you pull it off the mannequin, you hold the vest between your fingertips.

you turn, noticing that gi-hun has also angled his body towards your own. you meet his eyes, the dark color of them wide and fearful, and you don't need to ask him to know why.

the only number left on the higher end of the sequence is 16. dead last.

gi-hun hesitates, eyes flitting rapidly between two unknown points. but he does so for so long, too long, and the repercussions of his inner turmoil come to fruition. because now, most of the remaining players are grabbing the numbers towards the front, leaving only a singular value.

one.

gi-hun is now left with either being first or last.

sae-byeok is guiding you towards the group forming on the right side of the room at the same moment gi-hun rushes towards the number one. he grabs a fistful of the vest, holding it reverently between his trembling hands. but he doesn't take it off. he just switches his attention between his current possession and the one at the far end of the line.

a player approaches gi-hun, his movements careful and slightly hesitant. you see the number 96 stitched across the back of his jacket.

"excuse me," he mumbles. gi-hun whirls around at the sound of his voice, "can i be number one instead?"

gi-hun blinks, equal parts shocked and conflicted.

"as long as i can remember, i've been hiding behind people when i got scared. my life has been this thing that i've never really been able to truly control. and i tried to act like i wasn't afraid, but i was," he gives him a wobbly smile, "and now, as always, i'm choosing my number last after everybody else here. i wanna get at least one chance to claim ownership of my life," his eyes grow large and pleading, "sir, give this chance to me. please, just give me that."

gi-hun glances away, exhaling shakily, as he thinks the man's proposal over. it only takes another fraction of a second for him to consider before he drops his hands in resignation. the man starts weeping.

"thank you! thank you!" he bows gratefully, then reaches for the vest. gi-hun walks almost defeatedly back to the number 16.

you feel a flicker of admiration for the man. you realized it last night as he comforted you, but gi-hun is probably one of the kindest people here. even when his life is on the line, he allows his heart to get touched by others. he always feels their pain. he may come off selfish at first, and maybe he thinks that way of himself, but you can see just how selfless his actions really are.

now that everyone has chosen their vests and put them on, you're directed to line up in order of your numbers. you stand in front of sae-byeok, hidden behind sang-woo's tall, intimidating frame. gi-hun stands at the very back of the line.

the door opens, and you all shuffle into a dimly lit room. by the time you pass through the doorway, your eyes immediately flicker up.

the ceiling stretches for what looks like an eternity, shaped like the point of a large circus tent. circular lights dance across the room, passing over your bewildered expression, lighting up the delicate details of striped walls and fairy lines lining each sharp angle. there's a large chandelier in the center, crystals twinkling in the dim setting.

it would be beautiful, you think, if you didn't notice that on the far end of the room there's another platform, and to reach it, there's a bridge made of glass.

"hello, players, let me welcome you all to the fifth game. the fifth game is glass stepping stones. the stepping stones before you are made from one of two types of glass. one will be tempered glass and the other will be normal glass. the tempered glass stepping stone is strong enough to hold the weight of two people. however, the normal glass will break even if just one person steps on it. for this game, you will guess which one of the next two tiles is the tile made of the stronger tempered glass, and only step on those across the 18 pairs of tiles. you may then cross over to the other side safely and pass this game."

player 96 looks down at his vest, then slowly lifts his head to stare at the stationed guard, "that means the number on us..."

"are the order in which you will cross the bridge." the guard finishes.

oh.

everyone looks down at their own numbers, the realization setting in with startling clarity. your own number, 14, is probably one of the best numbers you could've possibly chosen with little to no information. same for sae-byeok. same for gi-hun, who almost chose first, but will be going last instead.

but player 96...

he looks back, searching for gi-hun's face in the crowd. the devastation and terror on his face is clear, and hidden behind the emotions is something else. something like accusation, as if his fate is somehow gi-hun's fault.

he directs his attention back to the guard, "but then, how do i tell which is the tempered one?"

the guard doesn't respond. despite the lack of words, his silence is answer enough.

he has to jump.

and if he gets it wrong, the glass will break, and he'll go tumbling down the large drop and inevitably to his death.

player 96 hesitantly steps forward, trembling all over.

"for this game, you will have 16 minutes. players must cross the bridge within those 16 minutes. and now, with that, let the game begin. each player, take off your shoes, then go up to the tiles in order."

player 96 does so, discarding his white slip on's several feet from the edge. he then hoists himself onto it, balancing himself in spite of his unsteady movements. he glances between both glass tiles, breathing heavily in short, sharp bursts.

more than a whole minute passes. you feel the restlessness rise from each player's bodies, joining the thickening tension in the air. their tongues, harsh like the snap of a bite, reach across the space to the unfortunate man.

"what are you doing?"

"we're losing time!"

"hurry up and go!"

"just jump!"

deok-su walks up to the player. he says something too low for you to hear, but whatever was said causes player 96 to flinch and spout out a series of mumbling incoherencies.

"i'll go. i'll go, okay? i'll go. i'll go right now." he repeats, and you're not sure if he's trying to reassure player 101 or himself.

"and please, try to choose carefully." a woman speaks up. you notice the number two on her bright pink vest. she goes next.

the man faces forward, hesitating for another moment or so before jumping onto the left tile.

you hold your breath, waiting for the inevitable fall. but it doesn't come. he simply lands on it, the sound of his feet colliding with the glass creating a small thump. players erupt into cheers while you exhale in relief.

"oh! yes, that's it. keep doing that one after the other." the woman says carefully, "you got this."

people murmur their agreement, spouting out encouraging words. the man angles his body towards the stretch of the bridge once more, switching his attention between each tile. when he comes to a decision, he braces himself, then jumps forward.

you hear the crack of the glass before the fall, grow aware of the death before it has even occurred. there are screams piercing through the air, players shuffling back in horror. your own body collides with sae-byeok's, your back crashing against her chest. she reaches out a hand to steady you, her fingers tight around the sleeve of your upper arm, grounding you to the moment as if you, too, fell off the edge.

the second person in the lineup mimics his actions, jumping forward onto the left tile, then proceeding to the right. she peers down, squeezing her eyes shut when she sees the broken glass, the blood caught on the jagged ends, and no doubt his dead body at the very bottom.

she mutters something beneath her breath, maybe a prayer or some uplifting words to push her forward. she leaps onto the tile on the left.

the moment she steps foot on it, the glass shatters, and she falls down to her death.

the third person in line is the only one present on the bridge, allowing you a clear view of his body. despite there being space to step onto the bridge, those that go fourth and fifth refuse to do so, either due to fear or something else you can't quite see or hear. around you, players yell a mixture of encouragements and urgent shouts the longer he stands still, doing nothing.

the player takes a deep breath, then shoots forward, running across the bridge in giant leaps. players release awed breaths and surprised exclamations when he manages to get four of the tiles right. but whatever lucky streak this player possessed swiftly runs out when he reaches the fifth tile, which shatters beneath his weight.

with time running out, three people end up stepping onto the bridge in consecutive order, retracing the steps of the fallen players. when the fourth player gets to the fourth tile, however, he pauses, looking between each of them, hesitating. he turns to the woman behind him.

"excuse me ma'am. do you think that you could help me? you happen to remember what he chose next?" he asks, pointing to the tiles, "i can't seem to recall which one now."

"oh, i don't know, uh, it happened too quickly." she responds.

"think hard please. since both our lives depend on getting this next one."

"okay." she says before sliding her attention to the tiles. she looks between them, weighing each option before her, "the left one i think."

"wait no!" player 244 shouts out, "he went right and then he went left."

"uh he didn't do that. he went left right away." another chimes in.

"no, it was right from there."

they continue arguing, their tones bleeding of frustration and an underlying hint of fear. you look past the rows of players, staring at the bridge, but you also can't seem to remember which tile he stepped on.

"you..." he directs his attention to the woman he first approached, "are you sure...he went left first?"

she nods, the silent confirmation everything he needs. he nods slightly in return, angling his body to the left, then jumps across.

it takes only a second for his body to fall through the broken glass. his screams grow distant, before cutting off completely, his life snuffed like a flame from the impact of the landing.

the woman freezes, stunned. you think you hear her mutter something under her breath, but it's hard to distinguish the sound. she jumps forward onto the right tile, then pivots to the left, but that assumption is also proven wrong when she screams.

one by one, the players land safely on the tiles that have already been designated as so. the crowd of individuals still waiting on the platform starts to dwindle at the same rate.

"there are ten tiles left, and eleven people still playing." gi-hun says to you, sae-byeok and sang-woo, "if they manage to step on one or two each, the four of us can get across to the end." he states firmly, a bit of hope lighting in his eyes.

"that might not be the case," sang-woo says, distinguishing the flame just as quickly as it formed, "if one of those players get scared and starts to run down the time, we are in danger in the back of the line."

so basically, even though you're safe from stepping on the wrong tiles, you might not complete the game in time. you don't even want to begin to imagine what they'll do to you then.

both you and gi-hun glance back at the ticking clock. less than ten minutes left. and you haven't even stepped onto the bridge.

you can't hear or see what's happening at the front, but you manage to catch a glimpse of player 244, who's up next to choose, drop down onto his knees. you assume he must be praying, but you're not sure what answer he thinks he'll find in his ceaseless mumblings. even if the being he puts his faith in manages to answer, you doubt it'd help him in the long run. not when time is so scarce.

the restlessness returns, taking the form of disruptive shouts that urge him to hurry up.

another player, the one next in line, steps onto the same tile as player 244. he yanks him to his feet, shaking him aggressively with low, muttered threats. their balance falters with the movements, stumbling on the platform and inching closer and closer to the edge.

"they'll both fall if they keep that up." you mumble. sae-byeok glances at you, but doesn't say anything.

not when you hear an abrupt yell. not when a body shoots forward onto one of the tiles. not when it breaks upon impact, and that same body drops down onto the ground.

in the midst of the struggle, player 244 managed to turn around and shove the man in his place. that cruel man is still alive, breathing heavily in the aftermath.

he turns his head to the left tile, then jumps onto it. it repulses you, how he brushes off the murder and continues on like nothing occurred. as if his prayers had allowed him another chance at survival. he pauses, looking up at the ceiling like he's thanking this higher being.

you don't even notice the eight person in line right behind him, not until he's extending his arms and shoving him forward.

player 244 screams, and the glass shatters under his weight.

it all happened so quickly you're not sure how to feel nor react. all you know is that another person is dead, and the dread in your stomach grows.

the player who'd pushed him turns to face deok-su, who is one tile behind him. he's trembling all over, his eyes wide and fearful. he looks at deok-su like he's a wild animal, and at any moment he'll lunge forward and hurt him. considering the fact that it's deok-su you're talking about, you have no doubt that he would.

sang-woo jumps forward, and now it's your turn to step onto the bridge. you swallow thickly, taking off your shoes then proceeding to the edge. you look down at the ground, seeing the depths of the looming height, the shadows of dead bodies. your stomach lurches unexpectedly, forcing you back ever so slightly. you turn back to sae-byeok as if seeking for reassurance in the planes of her expression.

"i'll be right behind you." she states firmly, and the conviction in her tone, as if there's no other path for her to take, no other choice but to stick close to you, smooths away all the fear in your chest.

you jump onto the first glass, then another, allowing her space to do as she'd promised.

now it's gi-hun's turn to step onto the bridge. but when he walks up to the ledge, he stops, glancing uncertainly between the tiles. sae-byeok shoots you a questioning look when she takes note of your fixated attention, so you nod your head in his direction, promoting her to look. she turns, also taking in the sight of gi-hun's hesitation.

"it's the left," she says. he glances up, "it's the left one. get it together."

you sigh at sae-byeok's straightforwardness. you know it's her way of doing things, but she could be a little nicer to gi-hun, especially in a situation as stressful as this.

she waits until he jumps onto the tile before facing forward once more, focusing ahead.

"thanks so much." he breathes out gratefully. she doesn't respond, just jumps forward again once you've made room. you turn back around, meeting gi-hun's eyes. you send him a small smile, to which he returns it with one of his own.

the seventh player in the order ends up falling to his death when he jumps to the left, forcing everyone up once more. there's a brief pause once everyone has caught up, several moments passing without a sound or movement. an uneasy feeling forms in the pit of your stomach, but you've yet to realize why.

"what's taking so long?" gi-hun asks, trying to look around each player's head, "who's at the front?"

you don't get a chance to respond. the player turns around, revealing shoulder length greasy hair and a tattoo across his neck. it's deok-su. he's the one at the front. and based on the posture of his stance, rigid and unmoving, he doesn't plan on doing so anytime soon.

the unease turns heavier.

"hey, everybody, listen!" he shouts, garnering the attention of the room, "anybody want to get across? well, you better go first then!"

"ah, shit." sang-woo curses.

"what are you doing?" the guy behind him hisses.

"you deaf or what, asshole?" he retorts, "i'm not going until you do."

"are you crazy, man? but the rule is we go in order."

deok-su laughs like it's the most funniest thing in the world, "you can just kiss my ass. we're in hell here. there's no rules in hell. you wanna go so bad? go ahead."

"you scumbag! if you don't move up, i'll push you then."

"okay. well then come on. then do it. we'll all die here together!" he snaps, pinning his attention onto the rest of the players, "hey listen everybody! i'm not dying here for anyone. so come on, let's do this! get up here and go ahead. if you don't, we all die. your choice, dickhead."

"stop that bullshit, you asshole! the clock is ticking. you gotta go soon."

"you'll be waiting here till we're all dead." he cackles, the echo of it grating against your eardrums, causing goosebumps along your flesh and the prickly feeling of something crawling down the back of your neck and the length of your spine.

"oh shit." gi-hun mutters. he glances back, staring at the clock. five minutes left.

"damn it you better go!" his friend pleads desperately. you notice mi-nyeo jump up to his platform, but the man doesn't seem to notice her presence, "please just go on!"

"just go!" mi-nyeo shouts impatiently, shoving him off. he shoots forward, landing against deok-su, who in turn shoves him to the side. the player falls off the edge with a cry, disappearing into the depths of the ground. deok-su struggles to regain his balance after the exchange, but once he does, he looks down, surveying the damage before slowly turning towards mi-nyeo.

"my god, you're all such idiots," she mutters bitterly, "man you used to act like such a tough guy. babe, what happened to you?" she asks condescendingly, her tone and words belittling, "are you really pulling the shit? aw, babe, you're pathetic."

"you're just an ugly old bitch, okay. look, i'm not moving forward. not at all." he snaps, several amused chuckles slipping from between his teeth.

"deok-su," mi-nyeo's sharp voice ceases his laughter entirely, "all these people dead, but the worst thing is..." she pauses, like she can't bear the words sitting on her tongue, "i let you fuck me in the bathroom that day."

"why don't you go first to die." he counters.

"fine. sure."

he blinks, clearly not expecting that response, "you mean..." he chuckles, "meaning you'll go?"

"yeah. it's han mi-nyeo here. you don't think that i'd be able to do something quite as cowardly as waiting here till i die." she responds, offended.

"come on then, go ahead." he moves to the side, inviting her to step past him.

she sighs, then jumps onto the same platform as him. she stands at the edge, his own body directly behind her. after several seconds, she slowly turns around, lifting her head to peer up at him.

then, in a movement so quick and unexpected deok-su had no chance to react, she locks her arms around his waist.

he struggles in her tight grip, "what are you doing?"

"you're such an idiot. did you believe i'd really die so you could go on?"

he laughs uneasily while trying to yank her hand off, but her grip is tight, unrelenting. his voice takes on an agitated, panicked note, "let me go."

"remember? we said we'd stick together right to the end."

"crazy bitch, let me go!" he thrashes in her hold, clawing his fingers down her wrists, her arms, "dammit! get your fucking hands off me right now!" but no matter how much he struggles, it's futile. with every erratic movement, they get closer to the edge, "goddammit."

"you betrayed me. now you're going to die."

he shakes his head, "no please. i'll go first, okay? huh?" she laughs, "let me go, please. please!"

"you coward," then her tone takes on a softer note, almost gentler, but the venom in her words is unmistakable, "deok-su. i need you to know..." she pauses, a wicked grin spreading across her face, "you've got such a tiny dick."

"you goddamn bitch!"

deok-su screams as she leans back. both their bodies crash into the glass, the pieces cracking beneath the impact, bending until it shatters.

the sound of mi-nyeo's laughter and deok-su's screams echo in your head long after it's ceased.

for some reason, no matter how hard you will your body to move, it refuses to listen. your feet stay planted on the glass, looking through the panes to the pile of dead bodies. something seizes in your chest, making the large tent feel small, the oxygen in the air scarce to your lungs.

they're dead they're dead they're dead they're dead they're -

you hear someone come up behind you. you don't need to turn to know that it's sae-byeok. you recognized the sound of her breaths, the feeling of her warm body. she stands beside you, the ghost of her touch against your hands.  just her presence, the sight of her dark eyes, evens out your breathing.

"i'll go first."

she starts to move, but you shoot out your hand, latching your fingers around her wrist. she pauses, angling her head to face you, waiting. you shake your head.

"no. i'll go."

if it came down to it, you'd rather jump first in sae-byeok's place, just to keep her alive a little bit longer.

you take a deep breath, then jump forward. she and gi-hun follow closely behind.

the next player goes. they are dead just as quickly as the rest.

the only remaining players are an older man, sang-woo, you, sae-byeok and gi-hun. five people left out of the sixteen that started.

the man crouches down, twisting his head left to right. it's hard to tell from your position, but if you had to guess, he appears to be inspecting the glass. you frown, puzzled by the sight. they both look the same to you. what exactly is he seeing?

sang-woo looks up at the time, which reveals two minutes left, "move, quick." he urges. the player turns around, "you can't just stop."

he holds up his hand, "hold on. wait a second. i can tell the panels apart."

"you can tell?" sang-woo asks in disbelief with the tiniest sliver of hope.

"i used to make glass for over thirty years." he turns back around to resume his previous action, "you can't normally tell, but..." he lowers himself until his face is practically pressed against the tile, "when you look at tempered glass when it's lit from the side, then you can see faint stain marks."

he stands up, then jumps forward. not a single crack forms.

the dread in your stomach gets replaced by a flicker of hope. there aren't that many panels left to begin with. if this man is able to tell the difference, then no more people have to die. you can make it safely to the other side.

maybe you can really get through this. you, sae-byeok, gi-hun. after this, there's only one game left. if you can manage to stay alive until then, all three of you can leave with the prize money and go home.

you can see your sister again.

sae-byeok can see her brother again.

you can live peacefully and quietly with each other.

the man crouches down again, "another hint, the sound. tempered glass is made at a heat of over 700 degrees. pound on it with a hammer and it rings clearer than normal glass."

"why wasn't all this brought up earlier?" gi-hun questions, "if you had led everybody from-"

"why would i?" he cuts in, cold, "the players up here tried to kill us at every chance."

gi-hun goes silent. either he's stunned by the man's harsh response, or he realizes that he's right. that if given the chance, those people would've killed him without a second thought.

the man straightens, then leaps forward diagonally. once again, he's safe from the fall. he manages to do so one more time, leaving only one panel left.

one singular panel until this game is over.

then the lights shut off, taking your hope along with it.

you glance around, but the lack of light is only on your side of the bridge. the other platform is still lit up, the twinkling yellow lights glowing across the space. is it a malfunction?

or did they do this on purpose?

"what's wrong?" sang-woo asks the other player, "what's the problem?"

"i can't tell them apart in the dark." he admits, releasing several deep, shuddering breaths.

"alright, which one? you need to choose now." sang-woo urges.

"i need to listen to the sound." he stands up, patting down his pockets. when he finds nothing, he abruptly turns around. "you got anything to throw?"

sang-woo also pats down his front, which produced the same result. he then turns to you.

"do...do you have anything?"

you shake your head, "sae-byeok -"

"i don't have anything." she cuts in quickly, almost too quickly. you give her a questioning stare, but she merely avoids your eyes, pressing her lips firmly together.

you switch your attention to gi-hun. he's holding a singular marble in the center of his palm, one you recognize from the previous game. he holds it out for sae-byeok to take, who quickly hands it over to you. you repeat the action for sang-woo, and finally the object reaches the older man's hands.

he throws it onto the platform. the round object bounces three times, then rolls off the edge. you wait, breath held in apprehension for the verdict of the outcome.

"i need another," he announces, turning his head, "i need to hear the right one, so i can be sure,"

you all turn to gi-hun, but he shakes his head.

all your options have run out.

less than twenty seconds left are left in the game. if you don't move soon, then all of you will die. but the man still hasn't stood up, still trying to decide between the two panels.

sang-woo jumps onto the glass with him, looming over his crouched figure with a threatening air surrounding him. you have no idea what's going through his mind, but it surely can't be good. not when he stares at the player quietly but intensely, his arms slowly lifting.

the man stands up, "i can't tell what it is." he mutters under his breath.

"then just try one."

without warning, sang-woo shoves him forward.

the man screams as his body lands against the right tile, the sound followed by the shatter of it breaking. his frame falls through, swiftly disappearing from sight, and all shouts abruptly come to a halt within the next second as he lands with an audible thud.

your palm presses against your lips, stifling a cry.

sang-woo killed that man. he killed him.

and he just walks on like it means nothing. like he was merely an obstacle in his way, and he'd needed to discard it so he could move forward.

you recognized it before, but this encounter solidified the fact for you.

sang-woo is dangerous.

the ticking gets louder, more insistent and urgent. you glance up. ten seconds left.

"go!" sae-byeok shouts.

you rush forward, leaping on both tiles before reaching the platform. once you're safe on the ground you turn, holding out your hand for sae-byeok to take. her hand folds around your own, allowing you to steady her when her own feet find purchase on the floor.

gi-hun lands amongst you right as there's a singular second left. then the ticking stops, replaced by a prolonged beep.

the lights turn back on, engulfing you in white, fluorescent light. you exhale shakily, the rapid pounding of your heart failing to slow down even after the realization that you're alive has set in. you turn to sae-byeok, drinking in the sight of her flushed cheeks and the rise and fall of her chest.

'we made it. we're safe.'

but sometimes, life throws curveballs at you, and what feels like the end of a raging storm is only the center of it. what awaits is something much worse, something you're unprepared to face.

the moment of tranquil peace, filled with the relief of yet another game successfully passed, shatters at the sound of a loud crash.

you all snap your heads towards the source.

the glass panels explode, one by one, starting at the far end of the bridge. they burst with rapid speed, throwing stray pieces of glass in all directions. you only have a second to react to the impending doom. to close your eyes, turn your head and cover it with your arms.

you feel the hot burst pain all over your body, a mixture of sae-byeok's and your own. it tears through your clothes and your flesh, pieces of glass slicing through your cheek, your hands, the curve of your back.

and then you feel it.

a burst of pain so intense you release a gasp, a restrained whimper and startled groan. it strikes you directly in your stomach, wedged so deeply you're afraid to look down, to survey the damage. but you feel the weight of it. how your blood spills from the wound, how it becomes difficult to breathe, because every subtle movement intensifies the burning sensation.

'shit.'

Chapter Text

to love someone selflessly and irrevocably is to take their burdens as your own.

when you're in love, you're attuned to every aspect of the person's characteristics. it takes barely any effort at all to notice the subtle shifts in their expression, the contract of their muscles before they move. you recognize the twinge in their chest, the blooming of pain that blemishes their body.

after meeting kang sae-byeok, it became hard to distinguish her feelings from your own. you feel her heart beat alongside your own, the flickering flame of her life in the space right beside it. you feel the warmth of her presence reaching through every crevice, between your ribs and the hollow of your bones.

so all her pain, all the hurt that forms beneath delicate flesh and hard bone, you take and consume as your own.

you suck in a sharp breath, unsteady breaths leaving through your trembling lips as the pain licks up the surrounding area. you squeeze your eyes shut, mentally preparing yourself before placing a shaking hand against your stomach. but there is no glass there, even if you feel it protruding from your body, the pain as real as it could get.

but if it's not there then...

sae-byeok.

you snap your head up, latching your attention onto the planes of her face. your eyes flit rapidly across the surface, noting immediately the tension that mars it, even if it's so subtle it's easy to miss. contorted in pain, twisted with discomfort, the emotions paired with the sight of her body hunched over whilst clutching her stomach solidifies the impending realization you'd been afraid to admit the moment you'd felt the pain but lack of cause.

you don't get a chance to question her, not when the square guard approaches the four of you and gestures towards the exit. you're forced to trail after her silently, attention pinned to her staggering footsteps, the way it seems like she could fall over at any given moment. the halls are too narrow to stand beside her, but you hover nearby, keeping your palm outstretched to steady her when needed and to allow her to lean her body weight against your own.

the fear striking the center of your heart persists with every movement, every prolonged silence, and the trail of blood that follows after her like some bad omen.

'shit. that's a lot of blood.' you realize, the dread sitting lower in your stomach, heavier. is it possible for the human body to lose that much in a short amount of time? with little to no consequences?

perhaps it's paranoia or anxiety, but the journey back feels longer than normal, so it's a relief when you finally enter through the familiar heavy metal door into the large room. once again, it's been rearranged into something unrecognizable. it's almost completely empty, all the tall metal structures that used to be pushed against the walls gone, leaving only four beds with small frames pushed against each one bordering the space.

and another detail, one you didn't notice before, are the images depicted on the walls. little stick figures representing people are portrayed playing various games. four of them holding the shapes used in dalgona. two teams standing on separate platforms and pulling on a rope. kneeling on the floor playing marbles. jumping onto platforms like a bridge.

the realization feels like a slap to the face.

these are the games you played. this whole time, they've been plastered on the walls, hidden in plain sight. it's so obvious now, but you'd been so consumed by fear and blinded by greed that you'd missed the blatant hints the game creators had thrown at you.

sae-byeok doesn't spare the walls anything more than a passing glance. she steps forward, staggering towards the direction of the nearest bed. you snap out of your inner turmoil to rush to her side, gripping her arm and guiding her gently with slow, tentative movements.

she sinks into the mattress with a suppressed sound of pain, her back hitting the bedframe exhaustedly. she pulls her knees to her chest, squeezing her eyes shut as she tips her head back. you kneel down beside her, palms suspended in the air as you both struggle to decide where to place them and peer intently into her face.

"sae-byeok." you mumble, worriedly.

there's a sheen of sweat on her pale skin, the molding of pain creasing her eyes and tightening the muscles in her jaw. at the sound of you softly calling out her name, she lifts her head, the brown pools shining with a layer of emotion you can't quite name.

but she knows. she knows you know about the injury she's been trying to hide. she knows you see past the guarded front she assumes, the rapid unraveling of her composure. and upon seeing the clarity in your own eyes, her expression gets torn apart to shreds.

"why'd you do that?"

you both turn at the sound of gi-hun's broken tone, the notes of hurt and betrayal coating the words he directs to sang-woo. the two friends stand in the center of the room, face to face, the tension palpable in the air. and the way gi-hun looks at sang-woo is as if he doesn't recognize him anymore.

sang-woo clenches his jaw, "you wanna say something to me?"

"why go up and push that guy?" gi-hun clarifies.

sang-woo glances away with a scoff, "you got lucky choosing the back of the line. it made it really easy for you, didn't it? what if that guy ended up wasting our time on that tile like the one before him? would you have done nothing?"

"but he was on the last tile. he would have moved to the next one soon." he reasons.

"no, you don't know that!" sang-woo snaps, his frustration flaring up in one big swoop, "that last guy could tell the tempered glass apart the whole time, but he just watched all those people fall through and die."

"the only reason you and i even made it is 'cause he could tell the tiles apart."

"that's bullshit. i don't know about you, but i am not still alive because of that guy! i'm still alive because i worked hard to make sure i stayed alive in this place."

"stop with the excuses. i'm not buying it," gi-hun seethes, "you still killed someone. his blood's on your hands."

"you're delusional!" his shout echoes in the room, the harsh octave causing you to flinch. he points to the ceiling, "we have to kill everyone else anyway to leave here with that money. you should be thanking me that you don't have the blood on your hands."

gi-hun is silent for a long time. he stares at sang-woo with the intensity that one possesses when they're trying to figure something out, to understand something. when he finally speaks, his voice comes out low, restrained, perhaps even a little afraid.

"and if it were me on that tile?"

sang-woo exhales sharply, "for fucks sake!" he shouts, glancing away in disbelief. he lowers his head, places his hands on his hips and glares at the floor as if it were the root of all his frustrations. when he calls out gi-hun's name, it's both exasperated and annoyed, like speaking to a child who only ever messes up. he points a finger at him, "do you know why your life is so pathetic? it's because every time you open your mouth you say something idiotic. because you're an absolute fucking moron who's too slow to keep it shut. you couldn't even tell shit from soybean paste unless you ate it."

even though the words aren't directed at you, your heart feels for the impact it leaves on gi-hun's pride and feelings towards his friend. gi-hun's face shifts, just barely, the admiration he once held for him vanishing without a trace, crestfallen and disheartened. sang-woo's words, heavy and unforgettable, leave a harsh sting that lingers even after the moment has passed.

'stop it. stop fighting. please. you don't mean those words sang-woo. i can see it in your eyes. it hurts you just as much to say it.'

"okay." gi-hun eventually says, his voice carefully even, void of any emotion, "that's right. that's how i got caught in all this. because i was slow, crazy and incompetent. just a dimwit who lives off his mother."

sang-woo flinches as gi-hun's takes his words and spits it back in his face.

"but you're with me in this place," he continues, a cold bite now visible in his tone, "isn't that interesting? why is that? ssangmun-dong's golden child, the genius cho sang-woo, who went to SNU. why is he here? rolling around this shithole, slumming with us simpletons, huh? is it my fault that you're here?"

deep, heavy breaths are produced within sang-woo's chest and released through his nose, the anger barely controlled within the ragged sounds. the acrimony on his face is prominent, taking the form of a clenched jaw and sharp, piercing eyes, threating to burst with a singular wrong move.

an alarm blares, dispersing the tension in the air and thus deescalating the fight. your attention is now drawn to the door at the front of the room, which reveals five guards. there's one square guard and four circle guards, the latter holding a small black box in their arms.

"players. we sincerely congratulate and commend you all for successfully making it through the first five games. the four of you are now the finalists and as such, we have prepared a special gift for each of you. before we reveal the gift, please take a moment to change into the outfits we have brought."

the masked figures disperse, two going towards the center of the room while the other two direct their footsteps to where you and sae-byeok remain huddled closely on the bed. they silently hold out the boxes, shaped like a square, tied with a bright pink bow at the corner. there are three shapes in the center.

a circle, a triangle, and a square.

'i guess it all leads back to these shapes, huh?' you think to yourself bitterly as you gingerly take it from the staff member.

once each player has been handed a box, they lead you over to the bathrooms just outside the living quarters. you help sae-byeok into the enclosed space, practically dragging her due to her weakened state. as you close the door shut, she staggers to the nearest sink. you follow closely behind.

sae-byeok fumbles for the faucet, turning it until a stream of water rushes out. she slips off her jacket, then proceeds to rip off her shirt, leaving her only in a white sports bra and sweatpants. and there, on the left side of her navel, is a large, jagged piece of glass sticking out.

it feels as if all the air has been knocked out of your lungs.

"shit."

sae-byeok's breathing is torn and ragged, a blend of pain and the tiniest sliver of fear. her eyes lock onto the protruding object, surveying the damage. blood streaks down her skin, the flesh around the wound torn. her hands shakes as she lifts it and wraps her fingers around the glass.

you realize her intention too late, "sae-byeok wait-"

she pulls it out in one swift movement.

a low groan slips from her teeth, her eyes squeezing shut in what can only be described as pain. you imagine the sound would've reflected this if she wasn't trying so hard to contain it, to keep her hurt small and unidentifiable, as if it would lessen the way it surges through her body like unrelenting waves.

she discards the piece of glass by throwing it aside, the clatter of it landing on the porcelain filling the otherwise silent room. she leans forward, gripping the sides of the sink so tightly you see her knuckles turn white, her entire body trembling. you rush towards her.

"hey. hey it's okay. you're going to be okay," you mumble gently, placing a tentative hand against the exposed skin of her arm.

at first, she stiffens at the touch, perhaps having not expected it, perhaps still processing the entire situation. but just as quickly as her discomfort surfaced her expression eases, and she leans into it with a soft sigh.

you lean in closer to peer into her eyes, which continue to avoid your own, "let me see?" you ask, allowing her room for refusal, but still offering that semblance of reassurance to coax her away from dealing with it on her own. because she's not alone. kang sae-byeok may try to deal with it by herself, but the fact remains that you feel the throbbing pulse of the injury, and whether she likes it or not, you're in this together.

sae-byeok remains still for a moment before loosening her hold and leaning back, angling her body to face your own. you stare at her face for a couple of seconds, drinking the sight of her in before dragging your attention down to her stomach.

the wound is deep, just as you expected, just as you feared. it would be treatable with a small, quick surgery to repair the damaged organs and a couple of stitches to keep it closed. but you don't have those kind of resources. sure, you could find a doctor as soon as the last game is finished, but that likely wouldn't commence until the following morning.

blood continues to leak out of the torn flesh, spilling onto the ground, staining her pale skin a dark shade of red. the flow of it has gotten worse since she pulled out the piece of glass, and there's no signs of it stopping on its own.

even if you did get medical attention first thing in the morning, you're not sure if sae-byeok has that kind of time.

"let's try to stop the bleeding, okay?"

you grab a handful of paper towels and press it against her injury. she grits her teeth, a hiss slicing through the air, her body instinctively trying to lean away from the firm pressure. your own expression winces at the sharp burst of pain that erupts, understanding her reaction.

"i know. i know. i'm sorry." you whisper in a panic, guilt creeping in to accompany the other emotions twisting in your chest. you lift your unoccupied hand and tenderly stroke her hair, trying to soothe away the continued sensation of agony that comes with keeping your hand pressed firmly against her stomach. you don't want to hurt her, but applying pressure should help stop the bleeding, or at least slow it down, and you try to convey this message to sae-byeok with whispered reassurances while continuing the action.

once the paper towels stopped coming out soaked in the red colors, you grab her shirt and tear off the hem. sae-byeok's eyes watch you as the torn piece of fabric is wrapped around her hips, layered on the injury twice before getting tied off with a small bow. when you confirm that it's snug enough to continue applying pressure, you straighten.

you guide the girl towards the nearest wall, assisting in the act of easing her body down onto the ground. just like before, her body lays exhaustedly against the cool tile, her eyes blinking rapidly, her face worn and struggling with the effort to keep herself awake.

you stand up, grabbing yet another handful of paper towels, but this time, you hold them beneath the running water. once you've deemed them damp enough you join her on the floor, crouching down directly in front of her body. she eyes the objects with a question rising in her eyes, which eventually lift up to meet your own with the same inquiry. you give her a tentative smile, reassuring that you'd never do anything to hurt her. that all you want is to care for her. to take more than her burdens, her pain.

you note the exact moment the realization dawns upon the colors. you catch it when you lift the towels and press the cold, wet object against her cheek. it shines in her eyes, all her walls crumbling the second she feels the gentle touch you lay upon her figure.

your movements are slow and gentle, careful, as you wipe away all the blood and sweat on kang sae-byeok's body. you clear away the splatters of red next to her freckles, pressing lightly against the cut on her cheek, the scrape on her chin. your drag it down her neck, her collarbone, seeing the way her throat bobs as she swallows hard beneath your consideration. then, you're gently lifting her hands and cradling them in your palm, repeating the same motions along every knuckle, every jut of bone that is stained with her pain.

the entire time, sae-byeok's dark, hazy eyes watch your movements. trailing after your hands, following them each time they focus on a different part of her body. she blinks, the corners of her eyes tightening, the colors getting darker as they glisten with something you can't quite describe.

she calls your name.

you pause, lifting your head to peer into her face. she studies you, like she's drinking the sight of you in, greedily gulping down whatever trait and characteristic she's able to take in. it strikes you hard, the way she's looking at you. like you're everything and more, everything she dreamed of, everything she wants, everything she needs.

and then she's reaching forward, cupping your cheek with a singular, trembling hand. the touch is so gentle you could weep, unable to comprehend the fact that a person like sae-byeok would hold you so tenderly.

and then she's leaning forward, pressing her quivering, cracked lips lightly against your own. you feel the world stop, holding its breath, savoring the tender moment like it's something sacred to behold. and maybe it is. maybe it's witnessing the moment two souls, destined to meet, finally become one. two hearts synchronizing to the same beat.

when she pulls back, she looks more content. at peace. though the sadness in her expression doesn't escape you. not when it looks like sae-byeok has finally been given everything she's ever wanted, only to be forced to part ways with it. a bittersweet goodbye.

"i wanted to do that before i'm gone," she closes her eyes, voice barley above a whisper, "before i never got the chance to."

the crack at the edge of sae-byeok's tone breaks you. it tugs at your chest, building in the corner of your eyes and forming in the back of your throat. when you kiss her again, you tell yourself to focus on the warmth of her skin and the feeling of her soft breaths, the sweet taste of it all as you drink in the love she pours out for you.

when you finally pull away, it's not for long. your lips trail across every inch of her face, mapping out words you don't really know the sound to, but sae-byeok doesn't need to hear it, only feel the press of your touch on her forehead, the slope of her nose, the corners of her eyes, the right side of her temple, and every single freckle splashed across her cheeks.

you don't realize you're crying until you taste the salt on your tongue. you open your eyes, finding that your vision has blurred, distorting the images surrounding you. you feel the wetness sliding down your cheeks, sticking to your skin, and the unbearable feeling in your chest like something has been ripped out without warning.

"you're going to be okay, you hear me? we're going to get you out of here, and we're going to get help." you sob. you reach for her hands, cradling them within your own. your fingers won't stop shaking, even after sae-byeok curls them around each other. you lean in close, pressing your forehead against her own, sharing the same breath, "i won't lose you. not now. so just hang on, okay? can you do that for me?"

sae-byeok doesn't look entirely convinced. she looks like she wants to protest, to tell you the way that it is. the simple, bitter truth. but she nods nonetheless, her own tears trailing silently down her face. just for a moment, even if it's futile, she allows you to cradle the hope that your story hasn't ended yet.

because maybe if you believe in it reverently enough, it'll come true.

-

lifting the lid of the box reveals a white collared shirt, black slacks and an equally as black blazer.

a suit.

the number 68 is stitched onto the breast pocket of the button down, and there's a small black bow on the collar. there are no wrinkles in the fabric. no dirt or blood stains. they are clean and pristine, the complete opposite of your current state.

looking down at it feels like a sick joke.

nonetheless, you slip off your dirty track suit and exchange it for the gift. you feel stiff and awkward once the attire clings to your body, hating the mirrored image that stares back at you through the reflection above the sink. besides the small cuts on your cheek and the dark circles under your eyes, you wouldn't even know that you'd just gone through hell and back the past several days.

after you help sae-byeok into her own clothes, straightening the bow tie, smoothing out the wrinkles in her jacket and leaving a small, lingering kiss against the apple of her cheeks, the two of you return to the main living quarters, finding it once again in an entirely different state.

the lights have dimmed, washing the entire space in a warm, yellow light. in the center of the room are four long, rectangular tables, arranged in the shape of a square, one chair behind each one. a cream white cloth covers the furniture, along with single wick candles, lace placemats and fancy silverware, all arranged neatly on top. you find yourself seated directly across from sae-byeok, with gi-hun on your right and sang-woo to your left.

you're served a basket of bread, roasted vegetables and some kind of fancy appetizer consisting of oysters. circle guards go around serving expensive red wine into your cups, the red substance pouring into the glass looking awfully similar to the blood previously seeping out of sae-byeok's body.

and finally, revealed beneath a silver tray, the main course of the evening, an entire steak.

you stare at it, unmoving. the air in the room feels scarce, making it difficult to breathe, to exist quietly in the tense silence suffocating all four of you slowly but surely. your fingers tighten into fists, trembling in your lap, withholding the bitter resentment bubbling up inside you, boiling over into anger within the small confines of your chest.

because the meaning behind this fancy dinner is painstakingly apparent. the answer sits there, right in front of you. you'd have to be stupid to not know.

this is your last meal.

you meet sae-byeok's eyes from across the room, wide eyed and just as fearful. she's come to the same conclusion. you don't look away, not for a singular moment, even as the square guard stands at the front of the room and begins speaking.

"tonight's' feast is prepared as a token of gratitude for the sacrifice and effort that you finalists have made, and to encourage you all to perform even more splendidly in the final game. now, please relax and enjoy your feast."

it takes all the restraint left in your body not to sputter out a laugh. sacrifice? gratitude? is that how they feel knowing just how many people have died in this building, all for the sake of money? you think back to ali, to player one, to ji-yeong, your dearest friend. they're just supposed to thank you for allowing it to happen? were their deaths nothing but a stepping stone to get to where you are now?

the blue danube starts playing. despite the gentle melody, it carries a sinister note, the violin strings sound like a screech, the piano like the slam of keys. you're struck with the urge to press your palms over your ears and scream, to drown out the sound.

no one moves, barely even breathing. they just start down at their food, repulsed by the sight before them. perhaps this is your last, final act of defiance. refusing the meal they give you as some sick way to thank you for killing everyone else in the room.

cho sang-woo is the first to break. he picks up his fork and knife, cutting into a corner of the steak. then, he shakily lifts it to mouth, parting his lips and taking a singular bite. there's a brief moment where he goes still, like his brain can't comprehend being given something so flavorful after days of eating cold rations. but then something shifts in sang-woo's demeanor, and he moves more hurriedly now, stuffing pieces of bread and meat into his mouth hungrily, greedily, like it's the last time he'll ever eat.

gi-hun quickly follows suit, assuming the same rushed movements. you don't want to break so easily, not when this is exactly what they expect of you. but the hunger in your stomach gnaws insistently, becoming bigger and more violent until it's difficult to ignore the near painful sensation.

you take a small, trembling bite of your bread, fighting down the urge to cry. it's warm and soft, a hint of salt and garlic found in the flavors bursting on your tongue. easily the best thing you've eaten in a long time. you could almost convince yourself that this is a normal dinner, that it means nothing beyond enjoying a meal without the looming threat of the future hanging over your shoulders, watching your every move, laughing at your naive actions.

you notice that sae-byeok barely touches her food. she forces down a couple bites, but her face twists in discomfort, barely able to stomach even just that. you hate the fact that you know exactly why she's struggling to eat. why she leaves everything even though you know she's barely eaten the past couple days.

kang sae-byeok is dying. and her body knows that. it knows, and so one by one, each function is shutting down. you feel it occur within your own frame. the flickering flame of her life growing weaker and weaker with every passing moment.

when there's nothing but scraps of food left, the guards go around clearing the table. they take everything. the plates. the wine glass. the silverware. the candles.

everything is gone except one singular item.

the knife.

they pick it up for a brief moment, only to place it down neatly in the center, right in front of you. then they step back, done with their duty, making it obvious what they want you to do with it. it's hard to miss it, the silver metal glinting in the light, staring back at you.

everyone meets each other's eyes from across the room, the realization dawning upon their features in quick succession. sae-byeok, when you're met with the dark color from across the table, looks almost afraid.

you hate that look on her. sae-byeok, since the moment you met her, has navigated the world with a cool front. no matter how scared she gets, she doesn't let her fear control her actions. if anything, she allows it to fuel her determination.

she glances down, eyeing the object with the same level of dread. she swallows hard, then reaches out a trembling hand and wraps her fingers tightly around the handle.

you lower your own gaze, doing the same. you feel the shame almost immediately, rising and rising in your chest and filling every hollow crevice it can find. you don't want to give in. you hate the idea of it. but sae-byeok is vulnerable. the moment gi-hun or sang-woo realize her life is hanging by a thread, they'll kill her first.

you need to do anything you can to protect her, even if that means using the weapon in your hand.

when the tables are removed as well, you and sae-byeok sit side by side on her bed. her head rests on your shoulder, her breathing labored, eyes squeezed shut as she tries to push down the waves of pain washing over her body. sweat is layered upon her skin, paler and clammier than before.

she's gotten worse.

"tell me about your brother." you whisper gently into the dark, wanting to hear her voice. to make sure she's awake and alive.

sae-byeok shifts, and slowly, the beautiful color of her eyes finally appear when she flutters them open. she stares into space, first comprehending your demand, then thinking over her response.

"his name is cheol," she croaks out eventually, her tone ragged and cracking along the edges, but hers nonetheless, "he's a shy kid, but he's so smart. he knows everything you could ever imagine about dinosaurs."

"my sister is the complete opposite. she's a social butterfly, and she loves dragons," you smile, conjuring up an image of a small, quiet boy with sae-byeok's features struggling to keep up with your little sister's constant hyper activity, "i think they'll get along."

sae-byeok breathes out a laugh. it comes out more like a wheeze, and it's followed by a strangled whimper when her body shakes with the effort of the sound. you rest your hand comfortingly on her shoulder, using the other to brush away her sweaty bangs and smooth down the tension etched deeply into her expression.

for however long the two of you have left, it's just you and her in the dim, quiet space of that room. two bodies huddled on the bed, sharing the same blanket, exchanging the same warmth. within those soft breaths are gentle murmurs, indistinct to the outside world, but proximity allows for the syllables to find purchase in each other's eardrums, consisting of heartfelt confessions and secrets.

maybe no one else will get to know your deepest desires and hopeful wishes, but sae-byeok will, and you will hear hers in return. and in the moment, that's all you could ever want. it's enough. she's enough.

"sae-byeok."

both you and the girl startle at the sound of her name. you sit up straighter, instinctively blocking sae-byeok's body with your own. you lift the knife, pointing it in the man's direction. gi-hun's direction.

"don't worry," he mumbles softly, not mad, not even hurt, just sad. understanding, "i'm not here to kill you."

your resolve wavers ever so slightly, grip loosening, but you fail to lower the weapon. because how do you know he's telling the truth? how can you trust anyone but sae-byeok? you've seen what money does to people. you've seen what it could do to gi-hun.

"you've been dozing off. i would've killed at least one of you already if i wanted to."

your attention flickers to the knife he holds in his hand, trying to make a point. if he didn't plan to use it, then why did he bring it over here? he lowers his own eyes, realization passing over his already somber expression. he purses his lips, lifting his arm while turning his head to the left, landing far across the room.

"i have this with me because of sang-woo there," he explains. you don't miss the way his face hardens when he looks at his friend, no longer soft or admiring. it's gone cold, his eyes sharp and distrustful. he looks back at you, "protection, you know."

when you still refuse to move, gi-hun carefully turns the knife around and slips it into the pocket of his blazer. just that simple act, the fact that he's willing to remain unarmed in your presence, reveals his true motives. he really isn't here to hurt you.

you swallow thickly, then drop the knife with a shaky exhale.

gi-hun lowers himself onto the floor right next to the bed, keeping his eyes locked on sang-woo across the room. the proximity of his presence brings a sort of comfort into the air. perhaps it's because gi-hun reminds you of your father, and having him beside you feels like having a parental figure to protect you against harm.

"you're not holding up too well, huh?" are his first words after situating himself on the floor, breaking the silence. both you and sae-byeok stiffen at the question, having not expected him to catch onto the fact so quickly.

"no, it's okay. i feel fine." she responds, though you know it's a lie. you can still feel the burn scorching her side, feel the trail of sweat beading down her skin. through her clothes, you feel her hot and feverish skin, the way her lungs struggle for air.

"then how come you barely touched your food earlier?"

"it wasn't very well cooked, that's all."

there's a beat of silence. gi-hun turns his head, first looking at you, then switching his focus to sae-byeok, who pins her own stare on the ground, "stop lying, please."

"ajusshi." you mumble, intending to say something, anything, that would make him drop the subject, but sae-byeok beats you to it.

"and if i'm hurt? are you gonna try to treat it?" she snaps. you think her words come out harsher than she intended, for she swallows thickly, softening the hard edges of her tone when she speaks up once again, "you need to think about yourself. just leave me. i'll be okay."

"that's not true," you protest, a single tear slipping down your face, "we're here because we care. we aren't leaving you, sae-byeok."

"she's right," gi-hun agrees, shifting closer, "we should stick together. we can beat him. whatever the game, we'll help each other get through this as teammates," he nods his head in sang-woo's direction, "show that psychopath what we can do," then he lifts his eyes to the glass pig, the large figure looming over you, "share all that prize money and just run away."

it was tempting. so so tempting. you can practically imagine it as the soft glow splays across your features, lighting up all your desperate hopes and dreams. first, you'd pay for your sister's treatment. then, once she's all better, you'd move into a small house near the beach. you'd go to college, maybe become a teacher, and you'd never have to skip another meal or work another grueling job that you hate. your sister will never have to know the hardships of poverty.

and sae-byeok. you could spend every waking moment with her. take her around the city, buy her small gifts, kiss every inch of her face. you'd never have to live your life wondering when your time with her would end, because you'd have all the seconds, minutes and hours in the world.

"and do you know what you're gonna do with all that money once we get out?" sae-byeok asks.

"i'll pay off my debt first. then open up a business for my mom at the marketplace. she always wanted to run a proper store instead of a street stall. and..." he pauses, staring down at his fingertips, pressing his lips into a thin line as if struggling to find the words to properly express his wishes, "i want to be a proper dad to my daughter for once."

"i admire you, ajusshi."

gi-hun glances up, surprised.

"you're selfless. and you never give up. no matter what, you always try to right your wrongs. not many people can do that."

gi-hun's eyes grow watery with his emotions. he doesn't cry, but he smiles tearfully, a hint of gratefulness peeking through, "and you? what will you do?"

"my little sister is all i have left, and she's in the hospital right now. cancer, if you can believe that. i want to make sure she gets better, then i want to move to a small town in jeju island. live a quiet, peaceful life."

"your sister. how old is she?" sae-byeok questions.

"eight."

"my daughter is ten," gi-hun exclaims excitedly, "we should have them play together."

you laugh, nodding your head in agreement. your sister would be so excited to learn she has two new friends to keep her company.

"she's the same age as my brother." sae-byeok whispers suddenly. you angle your head to face her, noting the way she stares down at her fingers, picking at her nails. you place your palm gently over it, squeezing once, reassuringly.

"where's your brother right now?" he inquires.

"at a children's home. i promised that he'd get out of there soon. our mother is stuck in the north right now. i said i'd get her once i was able to make enough money," sae-byeok laughs, and whether that's out of joy upon remembering the hope she had for the future or something else, you'll never know, "and i'd get us all a house."

"a third of that prize will be more than enough for that."

it is. it's more than enough. people say money can't buy happiness, but have they ever been poor? have they ever known what it feels like to worry about nothing but bills and trying to survive until the next paycheck? trying to run yourself thin until you think you'll break, and still going further than what you're physically capable of handling?

money may not solve all your problems, but it sure as hell can help build the foundation to fix them.

"hey, gi-hun." sae-byeok mumbles, lips trembling, eyes wavering, her composure threatening to break, "i think you and i should make a deal."

you frown, trying to search sae-byeok's face to understand what's going through her head, to look into the color of her eyes to find the answer. but she refuses to meet your gaze, almost like she's hiding something from you. like she knows that if she meets you head on, she'll break.

"what kind of deal?" gi-hun asks.

sae-byeok blinks, lowering her eyes from the glass pig. she swallows hard, tears gathering in her eyes but never quite falling, "just in case either of us...can actually make it out of this hellhole somehow, we'll look after each other's loved ones, okay?"

"sae-byeok. what are you saying?" you question desperately, leaning in closer and forcing her to look at you, "we're getting out of here. you're getting out of here."

"come on. we'll beat sang-woo, and then, we'll get out of here together." gi-hun is quick to shut her down as well, appearing almost agitated that she'd ever think such a thing.

sae-byeok turns her head, still avoiding your desperate eyes, her own expression torn completely apart, "i still want you to swear it though. i need you to swear you'll look after him," she swallows hard, a quiet sob slipping past her crackled, trembling lips as she nods her head towards you, "that you'll look after her."

"don't say that. don't. please." you sob, shaking your head insistently, denying the truth thrust blatantly in your face. you grip her fingers tightly, as if holding onto the warmth of her touch will keep her here with you longer than she's allowed. that if you hold on tight enough, she won't slip away.

gi-hun never responds. when you glance back at him, intending to beg him to refuse her demands, you find him pressing a finger to his lips and slowly getting to his feet. he barely makes a sound as he starts walking towards the slumped individual across the room, eyes locked on sang-woo like a predator to a prey.

you don't realize gi-hun's intention until sang-woo's knife slips out of his hands, leaving him defenseless and therefore vulnerable. not until gi-hun takes out his own weapon, brandishing the metal in the light.

the air is seized out of your lungs. something lodges inside your throat. a protest. a plea.

"don't do it," sae-byeok rasps out, the tears finally falling down her face, "you're not that kind of person. you have a good heart."

gi-hun pauses. he doesn't move for several long, quiet moments, the weight of her words hitting him hard. you hear his shaky exhale, the first sign of his defeat, followed by the slow lowering of his arm, and thus, the weapon. your own breath releases, relieved that his hands will remain untainted.

right as gi-hun is slipping the knife back into his jacket, you hear sae-byeok produce a strangled gasp. you snap your head in her direction, registering first the sudden flare of pain exploding in your abdomen, then the agony marring her features. the moment she slumps down onto the mattress, the realization hits you all at once.

"sae-byeok!"

you rush towards her, pulling her body into your arms and laying her frail frame against your chest. while one hand supports the back of her head, the other places itself onto her abdomen.

you freeze, feeling it almost immediately.

something warm, wet and sticky beneath your palm. you're afraid to look. you're afraid to glance down and see the pool of sae-byeok's blood beneath her body. if you do, if you acknowledge its existence, it'll only make the situation real. you don't want it to be real.

you swallow hard, forcing yourself to lift your hand. it trembles uncontrollably, blurring in your vision due to the dizziness in your head and the tears falling rapidly down your cheeks when it comes back completely drenched in blood. her blood.

"no. no no no no no no," you pull her closer, sob after sob ripping free from your throat, "ajusshi! ajusshi help!"

gi-hun turns around, wasting not a singular second in rushing over and standing by the bed, "hey, hey what's wrong?" he asks in a panic, running his eyes rapidly across your tear streaked face and sae-byeok's bleary eyes, trying to find the source of the problem.

"do something. please." you wail, pushing aside her jacket to reveal the blood soaked fabric.

gi-hun's eyes widen, "you're.." words fail him, his mind stuck between the abnormal amount of blood and the situation as a whole, "when did this happen?"

"after the game. when the bridge exploded it...it.." you choke on another sob, unable to finish the sentence, but gi-hun understands it all the same.

sae-byeok continues to breathe heavily, mumbling incoherencies beneath her breath. you press down on her wound, doing everything you can to stop the bleeding, to keep her eyes on you. you repeat her name as many times as you can, begging her to stay awake, to hold on just a little bit longer.

'it won't stop. why won't it stop? just make it  stop .'

"i think i wanna go," she croaks out, blinking her eyes open just a crack, "i'd like to go home now."

you nod, brushing the hair out of her eyes, "let's go. let's go home."

you feel a hand on your shoulder. you look up, meeting gi-hun's alarmed eyes, the determined set of his jaw, "hold on, stay here. i'll go get someone, okay?"

he rushes off with another word. distantly, you hear his fists banging on the heavy metal, his desperate and angry shouts. as he's doing so, you feel sae-byeok's fingers cling weakly to your jacket, pulling just enough to garner your attention. you look back down, giving her everything you have inside of yourself.

"i wish...we could've met somewhere else."

it's almost painful, the sobs that form in your chest, clawing up your throat and ripping themselves free from your body. you cradle the side of her face, brushing your thumb tenderly against her cheeks.

"we will. remember what i said? when you love someone enough, you meet them in every life," you press your forehead against her own, closing your eyes, "and i'm not done loving you yet either."

"i-" sae-byeok cuts off suddenly, sounding as if the air in her lungs has been seized out of her own accord.

you pull back slightly, confused by the abrupt sound, the choked noise in her throat. you notice first the way her eyes are impossibly wide, frightened. then the fact that her focus is locked on a point behind you. and finally, the realization that the fear distorting the colors is not for herself, but for you, and the words she's trying to say are meant to warn you of something.

you turn at the exact moment you feel your flesh break, giving way for the sharp point plunged into your skin. you choke out a gasp, but you barely feel it, the pain that accompanies the knife in your stomach. it feels just like a milder version of the one sae-byeok had to endure, and the one you had to experience along with her. if anything, it just feels like a slight discomfort.

you lift your head, peering up into sang-woo's eyes. distantly, you hear sae-byeok's cries, her pained wails when she comes to understand the fate of your existence. you shouldn't be surprised. perhaps sang-woo's momentary state of weakness had been for show. maybe all along, he'd been waiting for a moment like this. to kill off the last remaining obstacles to his victory.

still, you find yourself asking.

"why?" you rasp.

for a brief second, the man's cold expression shifts. he looks pained, regretful, like he, too, doesn't understand why he's become the person that he is. but just quickly as the last remaining sliver of his humanity surfaced, he's killing it without a second thought, "because i need to win."

he pulls it out, the sudden action causing you to release another pained groan. your vitality seeps out of you just as quickly as the blood does, forming dark spots in your vision and a cloudy mind. your body falls back onto the bed, and sae-byeok, sweet sae-byeok, who loves you more than anything, reaches for you.

for a brief moment, it feels like all will be okay. as long as you can feel her touch, as long as your eyes continue to find each other, the world can never pull you apart. it can try, again and again, but it will never succeed.

and then sang-woo plunges the knife into her neck, and all of that wishful thinking shatters.

a guttural scream echoes in the space, followed by your heart wrenching sobs. sang-woo stands back as you crawl towards her, ignoring the flare of pain burning you from the inside out. it doesn't matter, nothing matters, besides reaching for the girl you love.

your fingers find one another, searching for purchase and reassurance in the midst of it all. her grip is weak, but she latches onto you, holding as tightly as her body allows, not quite ready to let go.

you focus on her glassy eyes looking up at you quietly, the color so dark and full of life. they're your favorite feature of hers. because every time you see them, every time she lays her attention on you, it feels like a promise. that no matter what, she'll look for you. even if all your dreams come up empty and you have nothing left, if you're left wandering the shores barefoot in the sand, lost, she won't give up.

"the beach." you whisper, "find me at the beach."

sae-byeok, with the last of her strength, nods, solidifying the promise. her focus remains entirely on you, rapt and sure, drinking in every second she has left as if she wants you to be the last thing she sees. and you don't miss the way her eyes soften, the color pure and tender, filled with an emotion you can only describe as love.

and then they dim.

you feel the exact moment she dies. you feel it distinctly as if it had been your own life. that space next to your heart, which had been full of her warmth, grows cold and hollow with nothing.

she's dead. kang sae-byeok is dead.

and even though you are not, it feels like when she left, death took you, too.

the room suddenly grows bright, accentuating the bloody mess, but the sorrow remains, the heartbreak lingers. gi-hun comes rushing back, his footsteps slowing when he notices sae-byeok's pale, limp body and your own labored breathing. he widens his eyes in horror, coming up to the bed and cradling her body in his arms.

"sae-byeok," he gasps, shaking her, but she doesn't wake up, doesn't even move. he continues calling out her name, his voice growing more and more torn and ragged with every second that passes.

"ajusshi." you mumble. he turns, taking in your current state. the blood now soaking your own abdomen, the increasing paleness of your skin. he gently lowers sae-byeok's body, then holds you against his chest, struggling to fight back the tears building in the corners of his eyes, "what do we do? how do i bring her back?"

gi-hun breaks.

his composure shatters, his face becoming red and blotchy with the tears that roll down his cheeks. your own cries mirror his own, grieving for the loss of her life, the impending end of your own. you cry for everything you never got to do or say, the people you'll be leaving behind. you miss the life you could've had if things had turned out differently.

gi-hun's crying abruptly stops. his features go still, a certain realization rising steadily upon his features. you stare up, confused, especially when he gently lowers you back down onto the bed, when he leans back, a flicker of anger and pure, unfiltered hatred cracking his composure.

he whips his head towards sang-woo, taking in his bloody clothes, the knife gripped in his hand, the red droplets staining the once pristine metal. he comes to the conclusion rather quickly.

he grabs your discarded knife, lunging towards the player, but he never reaches him. a triangle guard thrusts their gun against gi-hun so forcefully he falls to the ground, and even when he tries to get up, they pin him down, ignoring his screams and protests.

your vision gets blocked by another body. you drag your eyes to the masked figures that approach, not registering the reason for their appearance until they reach for sae-byeok. placing their hands on her legs and under her arms to lift her up.

"get away. don't touch her." you call out weakly, latching your fingers around her wrist. as they pull her away, there's a bit of resistance due to your tight grip, preventing them momentarily from taking her. for just a brief second, she was still yours to keep, still yours to hold.

but then they tug harder, and your fingers slip.

"no. sae-byeok. sae-byeok." you rasp, crying when her body disappears into the box, making the reality of it all crash into you all at once.

what's the point anymore? what's the point of fighting, of staying alive, when you have nothing anymore? ji-yeong is dead. sae-byeok is dead. your sister will likely be dead in the coming months, even if you refused to believe it.

your eyes don't move away from the coffin, even as your pulse grows weaker and you feel your consciousness fade. because sae-byeok is in that box, and soon, you will be too, but you can't let her go, not yet, perhaps not ever.

'sae-byeok,' you think fondly, finally closing your eyes and allowing the comforting touch of death to lull you into a peaceful slumber, 'let's meet again, okay?'

'in another life, we'll do it right. "

Chapter Text

when you were eight years old, your mother took you to the beach.

you remember it in flashes, brief glimpses of a past rapidly fading from memory. the soft, warm sand beneath your bare feet. the sound of waves crashing against the shore, followed by the call of a seagull flying overhead. the smell of salt in the sea breeze, a crisp freshness to the air surrounding you. and of course, the crystal clear blue waters, so clear in fact, that you could see seashells buried beneath the earth and small creatures scuttling across.

it was your first time experiencing something so surreal and magical. as you stood there, watching the push and pull of the ocean and the surrounding greenery, it didn't feel like korea at all. it felt like you'd been transported to a new world, a different plane of existence.

a new dimension.

your mother used to tell you a story. how there existed different universes similar to your own. the contrasting details could be as small as preferring vanilla over chocolate or as big as living an entirely different life. the border between wealth and poverty, life or death.

she believed that there was a place where all these realities intersected. a crossroads of sorts, where one could travel between one or the other. she described this space as one not so easily identifiable. where it's hard to distinguish between dream and reality, the line blurred just enough to make one question whether they walk along their own universe or towards someplace just slightly altered.

when you were young, you remember listening intently to the tales she spun, awed by the prospect of crossroads and timelines. you began to question, to what extent can you shift the trajectory of a life to the point of creating an alternative world? what are the limits to the amount of realities conjured by just the smallest change?

and in this web of seemingly endless possibilities, is there any characteristic that remains constant? one that lives beside your own existence?

something like a soulmate?

"i think i've seen this love before."

the end of the world came gradually, like the slow pooling of blood beneath a dead, rotting corpse.

it started with speculation. new articles rapidly spreading across every corner of the internet, all of which concerning the newly discovered disease. it's followed by the warnings. the quarantines, the lockdowns, the alarms ringing across the world.

and finally, the panic. widespread, poisonous, infecting every crevice of the world it can touch. the destruction quickly followed, along with the crumbling of the government and any hope for society that might've flourished. by the end of it, only a shell of the world is left behind, leaving only the strong willed survivors to live in it.

but for you, it all came crashing down in one singular instance. when your hands had been ripped away from warm, smaller ones, dragging you and your screams away. 

it's been 7 months since you and your sister got separated. while you've been forced into a survivor's camp in the heart of seoul, she resides in one near the coast nearly across the entire country. 7 months since you've tried finding a way to escape so you can reach her. 7 months wondering if she's even still alive.

so when a girl with short messy curls and enthralling eyes harbors the same mission as you, to find her brother in the same camp, you form an unlikely partnership. very unusual, despite her familiarity. despite the uncanny feeling that you've met her before. have drunk in those same features that make your heart skip a little, have felt the warmth of her touch.

it'll take one week to travel from one camp to the other. one week venturing into red zones full of the infected, the undead that have risen to haunt the city. one week with no choice but to rely on each other to survive.

can you really learn to place your full and unshackled trust in a stranger? a stranger who doesn't really feel like one, even if you can't explain it?