Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“How could this happen…?”

“Who would do something so cruel……”

“Poor man…”

“How do you think he died?”

“Are you blind?! It’s clearly a…!”

Ranpo rolled his eyes at the crowd surrounding the body. Heroes were at the scene, for some reason, while civilians were taking pictures like it’s the latest trend on social media. The fact that people would use a dead person as a way to glorify their standing on social media is… disgusting… to say the least.

A mere glance at the body, and anyone with eyes could tell the victim died of blood loss or instant kill via a stab wound. He sent a picture of the body to Yosano, and she informed him that the victim was stabbed in the solar plexus, however, by just a picture it’s impossible to tell whether it was an instant kill or not. They had to wait for the autopsy to confirm the cause of death.

Ranpo already deduced it was a Port Mafia killing… or whatever group was here in Mustafu did it. The guy was a spy from a different group, so he was killed out in the open to send a message to the group he came from. However, if he told his findings now, then the threat of the Heroes trying to make Ranpo a hero because they assume he has an intelligence quirk… Once Yosano pointed that out, Ranpo immediately agreed to make it seem like he needed time.

Ranpo glanced around, seeing the police asking questions and checking the scene for evidence. It’s probably the only job Ranpo has any respect for in this ‘new world’ with heroes and villains. And these people seemed to be actively trying to help rather than the good-for-nothing heroes who were having a TV interview while being in an active muder scene.

‘ They’re acting like they’re doing everything when the police figure out the murderer… Heroes just take credit for everything others do… ’ Ranpo thought, turning away from the scene to go talk to one of the other police officers.

“Ah detective, can I help you?” a policewoman asked.

“Is there any evidence around? Bloodstains or the murder weapon?” Ranpo asked. He usually doesn’t ask this, but for the sake of appearances…

“There was a bloodstain from the park next to us till here.” The woman reported.

“So, the victim was killed in the park, then dragged here…” Ranpo said, making a typical ‘thinking’ pose.

“Detective!” A man’s voice shouted.

Ranpo sighed, trying not to rub his head, turned to the hero dressed in green, “Yes uh…”

The green man rolled his eyes, “Vert! Just because I’m a new hero doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know me!”

‘ That makes zero sense, but I want to get this over with so… ’ Ranpo thought, while speaking something different.

“My apologies Vert. How can I help you?” Ranpo asked, painting a smile on his face.

The hero huffed, “I want to know how this man died.” he said.

“Cause of death can’t be determined at the moment, we have to wait for the medical team to come for the autopsy,” Ranpo said, “However, it’s clear the murder weapon was a blade of some kind.”

The hero frowned, “Uh… what about the quirk?”

“Pardon?”

“The quirk that was used to kill him? Are you stupid or something?!” Vert snapped.

‘ No, I think you’re the brainless one .’ Ranpo thought, trying not to give the hero emotional damage. 

“Vert, with the amount of blood it’s clear-” Ranpo started.

“It could be a cover up!” Vert interrupted, “Are you new on the job or something?! That should be obvious!”

Ranpo glanced at the policewoman, who seemed more tired than annoyed, as if this wasn’t the first time something like this happened. Ranpo internally groaned at that. People were also turning heads, beginning to record the scene.

‘ Hm… I could get something out of this… ’ Ranpo thought, smirking to himself. He turned to the hero with a pretended hesitant expression.

“Sir, maybe he was poisoned, but we still need to-” Ranpo tried to explain.

“Nothing of it!” Vert yelled, “Clearly you’re an incompetent detective! Get lost and leave it to the professionals!”

“I was hired to-” Ranpo tried to explain, already feeling annoyed.

“Does it look like I care?! Get lost!” Vert yelled.

Ranpo put on the act of acting timid, slinking away. This was for the people recording of course~ Now let’s see how the newspapers react to this…

The next day…

“Ranpo-san, is this your doing?” Kunikida asked, showing a video of yesterday's scene on a tablet. 

People in the comments section were yelling at the new hero, and some people were trying to defend him, agreeing with what Vert had said. However, Ranpo didn’t even look up from the snacks he was crunching on.

“Ranpo-san, I thought the President told you to not cause a scene , this is very clearly the opposite!” Kunikida snapped.

“Yes, Shachou did tell me, and I didn’t cause a scene, that hero did” Ranpo drawled, crunching on potato chips.

“Even so-”

“Listen Kunikida-kun~ The hero was behaving like an idiot, and he was mistreating a weak civilian like myself! Besides, don’t tell me you actually feel sorry for that hero?”

“Of course not! But if you had drawn attention…”

“The only attention is on the hero now!”

“Of for… fine… but these heroes really are getting troublesome” Kunikida relented.

“Since when have they not ….” Ranpo grumbled.

“Kunikida-san, Ranpo-san, the President is calling us to the meeting room!” Kenji said, smiling like usual.

“Got it Kenji, we’ll be there” Kunikida said, putting the tablet away, before looking at Ranpo, “Are you-”

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Ranpo said, taking another packet of chips as he got out of his chair.

Within minutes, everyone assembled in the meeting room, and to Kunikida’s surprise, Dazai was actually there.

“Hoh~? Not bunking this time Dazai? Thought you might” Yosano drawled, smirking at Dazai.

Dazai groaned, “Actually Yosano-sensei, I’d rather not be here, but this involves the heroes and outside world, so it’s compulsory…” he said, clearly bored.

“Huh? It does?” Atsushi asked, blinking in confusion.

“Enough talking, the President is here” Kunikida said, shooting a look at Dazai, whose face was lazily on the table.

“Good afternoon everyone. As many of you might be expecting, this meeting is about the heroes.” President Fukuzawa said, “I’m sure everyone saw the video and Ranpo’s report, but the heroes have interfered in our job…. again”

“Isn’t this the third time this month they’ve done this?” Junichiro asked, tilting his head a little.

“It’s getting bad for business in the outside world” Yosano snapped, frowning in annoyance, “These heroes just think they’re at the top of the food chain, and could care less about the other jobs.”

“Indeed. However, I received a letter with a proposition. With some help on our side, they’ve devised a plan to completely destroy the heroes” Fukuzawa said.

“Who? The Port Mafia?” Yosano asked, rolling her eyes, “I’m not eager to work with Mori-sensei, Fukuazwa-sensei”

“This proposition did not come from the Port Mafia,” Fukuzawa explained, preparing for the probable disagreement over his next words, “It came from the leader of the Rats in the House of the Dead, Fyodor Dostoevsky.”

Thankfully, there was no screaming against the idea, but the detectives were displeased.

“Now hang on a moment! Why do we have to work with that Russian rat of all people?!” Yosano demanded.

“President, while I respect your decisions… I simply can’t agree with this one, Fyodor is far too unpredictable and can’t be trusted” Kunikida said.

“Be that as it may… from the contents of the letter, it is implied that the Port Mafia has already agreed to this proposal” Fukuzawa said.

“Wait, even Mori-sensei agreed to this?!” Yosano asked, standing up in surprise, “But he’s-”

“He’s the more cautious one of the two of us.” Fukuzawa completed Yosano’s sentence, “Hence, why I have reasonable justification to agree with this plan. Fyodor, regardless of whether we agree to the plan or not, is coming to explain it. He’s stated we can make a decision after listening to the plan.”

The detectives looked even more unsettled at this, staring at the door and room like Fyodor might pop out of something at any minute with that portal friend of his in tow.

“Hm… Shachou, what does he mean by proposing an alliance with Teyvat ?” Dazai inquired casually as he read the content of the letter.

Fukuzawa narrowed his eyes at the question, “It’s unlikely, but not impossible. Perhaps this is the plan Fyodor has made”

If Kunikida could have looked even more unsettled, he did now, “W-Wait, Teyvat ? That storm-shielded land with unknown powers?! That’s who Fyodor wants to ally with?! We know less about them than we know about Fyodor! This is hardly the safest alliance!” Kunikida protested.

“I agree with Kunikida,” Yosano said, “We already have two groups we’re at odds with, but a third we have no idea about? That just spells disaster. Now if we were allying with the Shadow Association …”

“Hey now, that group is even more unpredictable than the Port Mafia” Dazai intervened, “Allying with them is just as unsafe as allying with Teyvat”

“Yet you’re not questioning the alliance?” Kunikida accused.

Dazai raised his hands in surrender, “All I’m saying is that it’s Dostoevsky . He’s just as cautious as Mori-san, maybe even more. He wouldn’t ally with them without a fail-safe or a proper reason”

“I should have expected as much from my dear rival, I suppose” A thick Russian accent spoke from the room.

The detectives whipped around to see Fyodor walking out of a yellow portal made by his partner-in-crime, Nikolai. However, what caught them by surprise was that they were followed by a pair of blonde children, clearly siblings.

“Well, isn’t it lovely to meet you again, Demon Fyodor” Dazai said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Indeed, Dazai-kun~” Fyodor said with just as much sarcasm, “Now, I’d like to introduce the pair next to me. Unless you two want to introduce yourselves?”

The boy stood to the side, not really willing to talk, and simply keeping a watch on the scene. He had long blonde hair, tied in a braid. He wore an earring on his left ear, and black and white clothing with the most intricate and strange designs anyone had seen.

The girl had short blonde hair, with long side bangs that circled her face. She had beautiful, foreign white flowers in her hair, and golden eyes. She wore a white dress with similar designs to her siblings outfit. She had a bit of a fierce expression on her face, staring at Fyodor with suspicion.

“Yeah, we can” She said, eyeing the Russian man like he might jump to attack any second.

Fyodor smiled, and gestured to the Armed Detective Agency. The girl first studied the group, before speaking.

“My name is Lumine, and I’m an ambassador of Teyvat Academy, as is my brother, Aether. We’re here to explain the plan that will destroy the heroes. I hope you’ll agree to join us with this plan.”

Chapter Text

The hooded man darted behind a shipping container, keeping an eye out on the patrolling guards. Once the coast was clear, he darted to the warehouse farthest from the main office, which had boards over the windows. He hurriedly knocked on the door.

The door opened a margin, and a snake eye peeked out, “Who is it?” The woman hissed.

“It’s me! I’ve got the info your guys wanted!” The man hissed back.

The snake eye narrowed in contemplation, before the door swung open and he was yanked inside.

“Can’t you be gentle?!” He snapped, pulling off the hood and showing his face, making the snake-woman mutant confirm his identity.

She rolled her eyes at the man complaining, simply taking him to the back of the warehouse. Several shipping containers, which were likely abandoned, were stacked around them, providing cover and blocking the group from view. When he was finally pushed in front of them, he could see the group was mainly mutants and a few small-time villains.

“Is this really the guy with the info?” One of the villains remarked, “He looks like a wimp”

The hooded man bristled, “Do you want the info or not?! I can always make a deal with another group!” he threatened.

The snake woman stepped forward, trying to defuse the situation, “Alright you both. We won’t say anything else, if you could give us the information.”

The informant sighed, “I have information on Yokohama, more particularly the Port Mafia” he said, “I’ve discovered one of their primary ports where they trade from Yokohama, to the outside world.”

Everyone was immediately intrigued, the Port Mafia was infamous among the villains. Some thought they were incredible, while some found them pathetic for hiding behind a barrier. There were also some who wanted to join the Port Mafia, but never succeeded.

“Alright then, we’re listening” One of the villains said.

“When I was checking out a port they own, I overheard two mafioso talking. Apparently, they’re currently planning a path between one of the Japanese Ports, and Teyvat.” The informant said.

That sent a chill through the villains and mutants. Questions swirled in their heads.

Does this mean Teyvat and Yokohama are forming an alliance ?!

Before the group could process the information, the warehouse doors were slammed open, and Heroes flooded the warehouse. Everyone immediately readied their quirks for a fight. However, before they could, the informant jerked, suddenly falling back and taking everyone by surprise.

One of the villains approached the body, leaning over until he shrieked, crashing back, and watched as a pool of blood grew under the informant's head.

The Heroes zeroed in on the dead body, before they screamed, “ASSASSINS! RETREAT!”

And the room descended into chaos once more, with people running to the door as more bodies fell. A few managed to get outside, slamming the doors shut behind them so that the Assassins couldn’t follow.

“Finally… safe….” the Villain said.

Then she immediately crumbled to the ground, silently screaming with a bullet going through their throat. There were Assassins outside as well!

Within minutes the warehouse of people arguing and yelling was turned into a bloodbath. A young male dressed in black clothing from head to toe stepped out, holding a rifle in one hand, while the other went to his headset, calling someone.

“ Agent, is the mission complete? ” The distorted voice on the other end asked.

“Yes boss, the cleanup is done” the young male responded.

“ And the info? ”

“Already sent to the Heroes. For once, they did the smart thing and update their home base on the information”

“ Indeed… Now, the disappearance will make the information seem valid . Good work Agent, you’re dismissed ”

The black clothed male disconnected, before leaving the warehouse, heading outside. He reappeared in the bathroom of a restaurant, changing into casual clothes, before heading out, meeting a red haired, taller male.

“Heya Nagisa-kun~ Finish everything?” the male asked.

“Yep, Karma-kun! It was a pretty easy job from the boss” Nagisa said with a smile.

“Any job is easy if it involves the Heroes” Karma said, stretching, “Anyway, we’ve been given a new mission~”

“Oh?” Nagisa tilted his head. A mission already?

“Yup~ We’re going to Teyvat ! ” Karma said happily

The Armed Detective Agency sat in silence as they processed the plan they heard. It was an easy plan that could’ve only been pulled off if the opponents were the most idiotic group in the world… which Heroes were.

“Wait, so the plan is already in motion?” Atsushi asked.

“Yeah, in fact, we just heard from our colleagues in the Shadow Association that the information has been planted,” Aether said, looking at a strange device.

“The Shadow Association ?!” Yosano almost yelled, surprised, “They work for you?!”

“Well, more accurately one of our teachers,” Lumine said. “Currently the Shadow Association has killed a group of Villains and Heroes who had information that Yokohama and Teyvat may be forming an alliance, the information was that the Port Mafia is making a sea route to Teyvat.”

“But… wouldn’t that information seem fake to the Heroes? It came from Villains after all.” Atsushi said.

“That’s true. However, now that they’ve been killed , it sends a message, saying that ‘ They don’t want this information to get out ’, which makes it seem real.” Dazai explained.

“That’s….” Atsushi trailed off, understanding what Dazai said.

“And how are we involved with this plan? Seems like all of you got it in the bag.” Yosano said, raising an eyebrow.

“We have two members of the Shadow Association aiding in teaching, so perhaps two from your group can help with that or do whatever you want. Our primary goal is to draw the attention of the League of Villains and the HPSC to Teyvat while both you all and the Port Mafia work in Japan” Lumine explained.

“Interesting…” Dazai said, “So I can slack off there?”

Dazai's face planted the table as Kunikida hit him over the head. “I apologize for him…”

“No issues!” Aether said quickly, and Lumine just snickered.

“...The Armed Detective Agency will help with this plan” Fukuzawa said, “On the condition my employees safety is guaranteed.”

“Agreed Fukuzawa-sensei, I’m happy you’ve agreed” Lumine said with a smile.

“We’ll send you the details via phone.” Aether said.

“And you better make sure they’re sent this time Aether. Last time you forgot and the Port Mafia nearly shot us down because we appeared in Mori-sensei’s office out of the blue” Lumine grumbled.

“At least we don’t have the likelihood of being killed, Lumine” Aether retorted.

“So you conveniently forgot how Mori-sensei threatened us? ‘ If we don’t arrive at the location right on the dot, the Port Mafia will hunt you down ’?”

“Eh, details”

“If you say that one more time I will throw you off a cliff!”

“Please don’t, I haven’t recovered from last time…”

“Last time you deserved it!”

“I did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not !”

“Enough.” Fyodor said, with a chilling closed eye smile, “It’s time for us to leave”

Lumine and Aether glared at each other as Fyodor pushed them to the portal Nikolai opened.

“See you later Agency-kun~” Nikolai said gleefully, before walking into the portal.

Fukuzawa sighed. Now to plan who’s going to go…

Chapter Text

Hey guys, I wanted to say first, everything is fine, I'm doing okay.

So, update a little, it's the final year of school and I have so much studying to do, considering the boards and entrance exams are looming over me. So, till maybe June next year, there won't be many updates. If I have time I can post a chapter or two, but it seems unlikely.

I'm sorry to take a break because I was really looking forward to writing the remake, but it's gonna have to wait.

So I'll be seeing you all next year, I wish all those who are studying for exams luck.

Everyone have a wonderful year ahead!