Chapter Text
“For now, all we can do is wait.” Arthur said as he lit a cigarette and took a long drag from it, blowing a good cloud of smoke in the air.
If there was something that John was really grateful for, it was the fact that Arthur had never once smoked when they were sharing a body. Now that they’ve both got their own, Arthur had picked up smoking again and even though John didn’t really mind, the smell was something to get used to. It wasn’t necessarily a bad smell, rather a strong one. If it was this strong when John was merely sitting next to Arthur on a bench, he couldn’t help but to wonder how strong it would be if he had to smell it through Arthur’s nose.
“Is it too much?” Arthur asked as he took the cigarette out of his mouth.
“No. No, it’s fine.” John said.
“Are you sure? I can put this out if the smell-”
“I said it’s fine, Arthur.” John repeated, his tone not forceful but firm. “It’s just something I’m not used to, I guess.”
“I can imagine.” Arthur said and took another drag from his cigarette. “If it ever gets on your nerves just tell me, alright?”
They settled for comfortable silence for a while, both enjoying the chilly morning air.
“How does it feel?” Arthur broke the silence. “To finally, after all this, have your own body?”
John didn’t answer right away, rather taking a couple moments to gather his thoughts.
“Strange.” John said after a bit of consideration. “I mean, I could see and hear and smell in your body, but having it all to myself, it’s… overwhelming a bit.”
“It must be.” Arthur agreed. “But you’re gonna get used to it fairly quickly, I reckon.” He took another drag from the cigarette and leaned his head back to look at the sky.
“How does it feel to see again?” John asked.
Arthur let out a relieved sigh along with a cloud of smoke while collecting his thoughts.
“The early morning sky is clear, not a single cloud in sight. The sun is shining, and the colorful autumn leaves fly along with the wind.” Arthur described the scene like John had done for him for so long.
“God it feels good to be the one to describe the surroundings.” he added, the shining smile on his face rivaling the shining sun in the sky. A smile so contagious, John felt himself smiling as well.
“Fall is my favorite season, did you know that?” Arthur looked at him.
“I didn’t.” John had to admit.
“Mm, it is.” Arthur continued. “Always has been, even through childhood.”
“It is nice.” John agreed and looked around. “Yet somehow… melancholic.”
“Mm. It is a bit moody. But also romantic, in a way. Bittersweet even.” Arthur said as he put out his cigarette.
Now that John could actually smell his surroundings, he took a deep inhale, feeling the sharp morning air in his lungs. It smelled like autumn. He didn’t know how or what that meant, but the scent of autumn was undeniable. It was everywhere and yet, if pressed, he wouldn’t be able to say for certain where it’s coming from.
Before he could ask Arthur about it, a delivery truck pulled up to the driveway. John decided the question could wait until the next time they go outside together. Now it was time to focus on the task at hand - carrying the desk that the truck came to deliver up the stairs and into the apartment that they were going to make their new home.
Arthur did the talking with the truck driver, which John was grateful for. Despite having the freedom to talk to anyone without Arthur’s help or involvement, he wasn’t too eager to start chatting with any strangers yet.
“Well, better get started.” John said after Arthur had sent the truck driver off with a goodbye and a tip.
“You take the back side, I’ll get the front.” Arthur instructed. “Remember to go slow, alright? Better safe than sorry.”
“Yeah yeah. Let’s get this thing inside.”
Whereas carrying it normally was not as difficult as John had expected it to be, getting it up the stairs proved to be much more challenging. He had underestimated how heavy this thing could be when not on level ground. Not to mention how Arthur was really not in the condition to carry a heavy desk for an extended period of time and John hadn’t yet figured out how to use his body properly.
*
Once they were inside their apartment, neither of them had the energy and strength to carry the desk to its designated spot and just left it next to the door. They could deal with it later. For now, both of them plopped down on the sofa to rest and catch their breaths.
“We fucking did it.” John said between breaths.
“Barely.” Arthur chuckled wryly. “Funny how one day we’re encountering horrors and fighting monsters and the next day our biggest challenge is moving a goddamn desk.”
“It was one heavy desk.” John shook his head in disbelief. “I didn’t expect it to be so difficult getting it up here.”
“You haven’t built up the muscle to carry such heavy things yet, I’m afraid.” Arthur said. “Maybe I should do the heavy lifting from now on.”
John’s head snapped to look at Arthur.
“No way in hell you’re doing the heavy lifting, Arthur.” John disagreed and made sure Arthur knew it. “You need to take it easy and let your wounds heal, unless you wanna go to the hospital.”
“We agreed on not going to the hospital, John. Not unless I genuinely need urgent help.”
“Which is exactly why you should rest and let me do the heavy lifting.”
“Fair point.” Arthur sighed in defeat. “But it’s not like you’re in the right position for this either.”
“What do you mean by that?” John gave him a look.
“Well, you don’t know your body or its limits. You shouldn’t overwork yourself either, lest you wake up sore tomorrow.”
“I’ll be fine, Arthur.” John reassured him. “I think it’s more important to test the limits of this body than to worry about getting sore. It will happen sooner or later anyway.”
Arthur couldn’t argue with that. He was right, he should just rest and let John take care of things for a change.
“Speaking of, we need to check on your stitches. They might have come undone after all this.” John said, his hands already reaching to start unbuttoning Arthur’s shirt.
“They’re fine.” Arthur reassured him, trying to hold John’s hands at bay.
“Did you check?”
“I didn’t feel any stitches come undone, John.”
“We should check. Just in case.”
Arthur gave in and let John unbutton his shirt for him. He had to admit it was very thoughtful of him, even if it got on Arthur’s nerves a bit. But John was right - better safe than sorry.
John unbuttoned Arthur’s shirt like he was in a hurry. Revealing his bare chest, he slowly ran his fingers across the many, many scars Arthur had gathered over their time together, seemingly having forgotten about the urgency to check the stitches on his stomach.
There was something about the way he examined his body that made Arthur feel awfully exposed. John’s eyes were focused, yet full of an emotion Arthur hadn’t yet learned to read. He didn’t remember when was the last time someone had looked at him with this kind of intensity, or if it had ever even happened before. He wanted to say something, anything, but he didn’t dare to break the silence.
“Jesus, Arthur.” John finally spoke, even though it was barely above a whisper. Arthur released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.
“Is it bad? Are the stitches okay?” Arthur asked to avoid having to look down.
“The stitches are fine. I just…” John trailed off.
“What is it, John?” Arthur pressed, not wanting the silence to fall upon them again.
“I didn’t realize you’re in such bad shape.” he said.
“I’m fine, John. Really.” Arthur reassured him.
John didn’t say anything for a while. Arthur didn’t either. The silence hung heavy around them, the horrible memories still fresh in both of their minds.
“What’s on your mind, John?” Arthur asked, so quietly as if to speak any louder would break him. “You know you can tell me.”
“It’s just-” John stopped mid-sentence, searching for the right words.
Arthur waited patiently.
“Everything is different.” John finally said. “This new perspective in this body, my own body, it puts the world in a whole new light.”
Arthur realized John had been resting his hands on his waist this whole time when he removed them and started buttoning Arthur’s shirt back up.
“I thought I knew all there was to know about you, Arthur. Turns out I might as well not know anything.” he almost mumbled.
“Hey, that’s not true.” Arthur grabbed one of his hands.
“It is, though.” John looked him in the eye for the first time throughout this whole situation.
Arthur felt something inside of him turn. Normally eye contact was not this intense for him, but something about that specific look in John’s eyes felt so intimate. He had never seen him so pained and vulnerable.
“Look at you. You’re full of scars. There’s so many wounds that still need to heal.” he said as he traced over what was once a bullet wound, one Arthur had gotten early on into their journey. “All that we went through together, and yet only you are wearing the marks it left upon us both.”
Arthur didn’t say anything. John continued buttoning his shirt for him and Arthur let him.
“It’s fine-”
“It’s not fine.” John said.
“It’s- It’s in the past. It’s done. There is nothing we can do about it now.” Arthur laid out the facts. “You feeling guilty will not make this situation any better.”
“You’re right.” John muttered, more to himself than Arthur. He took a deep breath to clear his head.
“Instead, you can go and do some shopping for me, since I’m supposed to be resting and taking it easy.” Arthur suggested.
Hearing this, John snapped his head up from the slump he had been in, excitement clear on his face.
“Shopping?” he asked, a smile slowly creeping up on his face.
Arthur knew this would cheer him up. When they had driven away from Addison and gotten the chance to do a bit of shopping in Albany, John had gotten so carried away that he had actually managed to convince Arthur to buy a couple things they didn’t end up needing at all. Most would call it being cautious and preparing for the worst, but they didn’t have to fight tooth and nail with a voice in their head telling them to buy numerous trinkets that would not even remotely help their journey.
“I’ll write you a list.” Arthur smiled and stood up. The sudden movement made his head spin and he stumbled a bit, but John was there to catch him.
“Easy, Arthur. Don’t push yourself.” he said.
“You’re right. Just get me a scrap piece of paper and something to write with, will you?” Arthur sat down on the sofa and let John scavenge around for what he needed.
John came back with a pen and a random receipt. He watched intently as Arthur wrote down everything he could think of that they could possibly need.
“Here you go.” Arthur gave the list to John. “Just take my wallet with you. It’s on the counter.”
“Alright.” John briefly looked over the list before tucking it in his breast pocket. He stood up and before you know it, he was already throwing on his coat and hurriedly tying his shoes.
Arthur stood up slowly this time and leaned against the wall as he watched John get ready for his first independent venture into the city.
“I’ll move the desk when I come back, okay? Don’t try to move it yourself, Arthur.” John said as he stood up.
“You don’t need to worry.” Arthur said. “Did you take the keys?”
John shook his coat so the jangling of keys could be heard. He had taken the keys.
“Alright, I’m going!” John said, the wide smile on his face so contagious Arthur felt himself smile as well.
“Don’t spend too much money, yeah?” Arthur watched as John almost ran out the door and waved goodbye before shutting it with a bang.