Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

One look at Buck’s dying body sent Eddie running out of the room - past the line of family waiting outside - through the hospital, all the way to the roof. 

He wasn’t proud of it. If he’d had more substance of mind he would’ve made himself stay, even as the whir of the machines keeping Buck alive ate at him. But Eddie Diaz had always been a coward. He had 20 years of experience in running from his problems, it would be difficult to grow a spine now.

It was Eddie’s fault, anyway. He’d been told by Bobby and Hen and Chim - and Maddie, who he couldn’t bring himself to look in the eye - that it wasn’t, but it was. The only person Eddie had ever truly loved was going to die and it was his fault.

The call hadn’t seemed all too bad when it came in - a small kitchen fire reported by the homeowner, but their fire extinguisher hadn’t been tested in decades and - to no one on the rig’s surprise - hadn’t worked. So, they just had to go in, put out the fire, and fill out some paperwork. Easy, right?

Except not only was the homeowner neglecting their fire safety equipment, they were also storing propane tanks within a couple of yards of their stove. With a good 20 minutes for the fire to spread before Buck and Eddie went in to take care of it. So, less than a minute after they went in, and only seconds after Eddie noticed the damn thing - the propane tank exploded right next to Buck.

Eddie woke up too slowly to be the one to pull Buck out, just like he noticed the tank too late and didn’t even get out a word of warning before the world went boom. A quick work up at the hospital confirmed he himself had a mild concussion, but for Eddie, that was no excuse for not having his partner’s back.

He had heard Hen and Chim in the Ambulance, seen the burns and shrapnel on Buck’s torso through his own tears. A turnout coat can only protect someone from so much, and he could only be so thankful that his own had protected him from most of the fire. Hen had instructed him to press a sterile bandage to the small burn on his wrist while they struggled to keep Buck stable. They were saying words like “thready,” “internal bleeding,” “hemopneumothorax.” Eddie really wished he didn’t know what that was. 

He had nearly worn a hole in the floor of the waiting room with all his pacing. Three times Bobby had attempted to get him to sit down. It wasn’t until the doctor came out an hour into surgery that he’d sunken into a seat - the only news that comes an hour into trauma surgery is bad. 

“There’s substantial damage,” the doctor had started. “We’re still working on him, but he’s stable, he’s alive.” 

Everyone had sighed in relief at that, but the doctor wasn’t finished.

“The thoracic and abdominal bleeding is under control for now, but we’ll have to go back in later. Right now, the worry is his brain - there’s a bleed, it didn’t present until we were well into surgery, the neurosurgeon is clearing it now.”

“What does that mean?” Maddie’s coarse, teary voice asked.

“It means that if he comes through all of this-” Not when, if, Eddie reminded himself. “-There may be lasting damage, deficits in cognitive functioning.”

Everyone was stunned for a moment. “Thank you, doctor.” Maddie grunted out, finally, returning to the comfort of Chimney’s arms. Likewise, everyone else in the room turned to their partners for solace. Bobby and Athena, Karen and Hen. The kids were at the Grant-Nash house being watched by May, so not even Christopher was there for Eddie to embrace. That was when he ran to the chapel.

He wasn’t even quite sure what he was doing there, he didn’t really believe in god, and he couldn’t really remember how to pray properly - if an atheist could even do so. But he sat in the pews anyway and wished through his tears. He wished that Buck would make it out alive, that he’d still be Buck on the other side of all this. He wished that he’d had the chance to tell him that he loved him.

Because that was the rub, wasn’t it? Eddie had been stalling for years, letting his love for Buck live in the little things - stolen glances, acts of service, emotionally charged words that said everything except what he needed to. Because Eddie Diaz had 20 years of experience running from his problems, and being in love with his best friend was one of them.

So even when Buck pulled through surgery, Eddie ran, because even though Buck was alive, he his was still dying , the doctors warning them that he wasn’t out of the woods yet. Eddie didn’t want to say “I love you” to a corpse.

Anyway, Eddie had run to the roof. A helipad on one side, he stumbled to the other, gripping onto the ledge for balance as his heart raced. The sounds of the city night beneath him were drowned out by his stream of consciousness - Buck Buck Buck. 

“Well this is just pathetic.” An unfamiliar voice cut through spiraling. 

Eddie whirled around, eyes scanning over his newfound company - a slender person in a perfectly-tailored maroon suit. They were androgynous, chin-length auburn hair swept back elegantly. They leaned suavely against the ledge, dark eyes framed by eyeliner looking smugly at Eddie. 

“What?” Eddie scoffed, irate. “Like you know anything.” He pointed a finger at them, taking a couple of steps closer. “My best friend is dying down there. And you’re calling me pathetic?”

“We’re going with best friends, are we?” The stranger scoffed. “Alright then. And yes, I’m calling you pathetic because instead of sitting at Buck’s bedside you’re up here sulking alone.”

Eddie froze. “How do you know his name?”

“Oh, I know a lot of things, Eddie. I know that Evan Buckley is fighting for his life downstairs. I know you were there when that propane tank exploded. I know you’ve been in love with him since he saved your son in the tsunami six years ago.”

Eddie sucked in a breath. “Who are you?”

“I, my dear friend-” They grinned. “Am the devil.”

Eddie could only let out a squeak at that.

“Hades, at your service. It’s an honor to meet you, really. You and that ‘best friend’ of yours are kind of legends down in hell, what with how close you come to ending up there.”

“Buck would never end up in hell.” Eddie hissed.

“Oh, come on, Eddie! I’m not talking biblical - it’s the underworld, everyone ends up there.”

“...Sure.”

“You don’t even believe in a biblical god!”

“No, and I certainly don’t believe in… whatever you’re claiming to be.”

“Well I didn’t truly believe in the fabled ding-dong ditchers of the river styx until you were right in front of me but at least I have the decency to believe my eyes.”

“I’m having a mental breakdown, it’s the only explanation for this.”

“You may be having a breakdown, but that doesn’t make this any less real. I’m giving you a chance, Eddie.”

“What?”

“I’m giving you a chance to make things right. You said you wanted to tell him you loved him, right?”

“You heard that?”

“Yes, yes, I’ve been listening, you should be embarrassed, whatever.” They waved him off. “Do you want to tell him or not? You may not get a chance otherwise.”

“He’s going to die?”

“I don’t know, I’m not the fates. But I do have the power to send you back - to let you revisit those moments when you almost said something and fix things.”

“So you’re asking me to make a deal with the devil? Gotta say, it’s an interesting choice to approach the lapsed catholic for a chance to sell his soul.”

“I’m not asking you to sell your soul, Eddie, I’m asking you to be honest with Buck and tell him how you feel. We’re romantics down in hell, can you blame us?”

“No consequences?” Eddie clarified. “It’s not like I agree to this and my son never existed or something, right?”

“No consequences except you learn how he really feels. And, if he doesn’t wake up you have to live with whatever you do. I can’t pull a favor like this again.” Hades warned. They held out their hand for Eddie to shake. “It’s now or never, kid.”

Eddie hesitated, but took the outstretched hand nonetheless. 

“Good choice. I’ll see you soon.” They saluted Eddie with their free hand and disappeared, leaving nothing but fine wisps of red smoke in their wake.

Before Eddie could even look around to see where they went, he was consumed by a bright white light. When his vision returned, he was in his uniform, in a boat, soaking wet, with Lena Bosko beside him and the city street around him flooded with seawater. 

Our greatest hits. Eddie cracked his neck. Let’s go find Buck.

Chapter Text

“Diaz, you still with us?” Lena nudged Eddie. 

He had stopped truly paying attention to his surroundings about an hour ago. Instead, he was trying hard to remember what Buck had told him about the tsunami all those years ago - where he had been and when. While he could wait to rendezvous with Buck where they had before - at the VA hospital, it wouldn’t be ideal.

Before, when Eddie had found Buck, and then Chris a moment later, Buck had dropped like deadweight where he stood from a combination of fatigue, dehydration, and blood loss. Eddie would prefer to find Buck before he cut himself open looking for Chris. Besides, Chris was safe - Eddie knew that now - he would be picked up in one of the mail vans Chim would commandeer and end up just fine - save for a few nightmares.

So Eddie was barely listening to what Bobby said about the victims that he’d already treated 6 years ago, he was more focussed on their location - pretty far from Buck - and the time - they were running out of it. 

“Hey, Bobby…” Eddie tentatively started once they had transported the victims to a nearby hospital. “Maybe we should check out the field hospital Maddie told Chim about, I’m sure they could use some help over there.”

“Yeah,” Bobby agreed. “That’s a great idea, let’s all head over there if we don’t get any calls in the next few minutes.”

That wouldn’t do - the high rise filled with carbon monoxide wouldn’t be reported for almost an hour, and Hen and Chim needed to be there in order for Chim to get the mail vans for transport and Chris to make it to the VA. 

“What about just me, actually? I’m a trained medic and I can help them coordinate efforts from my experience, but the rest of you can stay out helping people still stuck.”

“Alright…” Bobby looked quizzically at Eddie. “Take a boat over there, and a trauma bag, just in case. And check in as soon as you’re able.”

“Will do!” Eddie nodded, already heading in the direction of the boats. 

The trip to the VA was longer than Eddie would have liked; it was dark by the time he made it to the makeshift dock. And while he had specific priorities of looking for Buck, the volunteer organizers recognized his uniform and got him to work. At least he was able to tell all the volunteers he encountered while checking on patients around the tents to be on the lookout for a man matching Buck’s description. 

It wasn’t long before someone tapped Eddie on the shoulder and told him they’d seen Buck. A tall man, fairly muscular with mousy hair and a birthmark over his left eye, was stumbling around the hospital looking for Chris. 

And maybe Eddie wasn’t fast enough, because just like before, when Eddie finally got to Buck, he was a tearful, blundering mess, covered in seawater and shallow cuts, a makeshift bandage on his arm soaked in blood. No amount of assurances that Buck was fine could break him from his stupor. 

So Eddie didn’t tell him. He couldn’t. 

Instead, he and a nearby volunteer led Buck to a cot and laid him down carefully, starting an IV and giving him a mild sedative to keep him calm. It was another half hour before Chris arrived at the VA hospital, quickly being led back based on Eddie’s description to the intake volunteers. 

With Buck and Chris asleep - together on one cot, gripping onto each other for comfort - Eddie leaned down and whispered into Buck’s salt-soaked curls, “I love you.”

“Are you kidding me?” A familiar voice asked from nearby - the sultry timbre of Hades themselves. “That doesn’t count.”

Eddie sighed. “It’s all I could muster.” 

“Well you’re going to have to try harder than that. How’s the man supposed to know you love him if he’s asleep when you tell him?”

“Fine, I’ll tell him when he wakes up - or tomorrow when I drop off Chris.” 

“No can do, loverboy. This -” They gestured around them. “-crisis has been averted. It’s onto the next.”

“The next what?”

“Crisis.” They stated, matter-of-fact. “That’s your next chance to tell him how you feel - in the heat of the moment, with tensions so high. It’s romantic.”

“It’s psychotic.”

Hades paused. “Just - even if you’ve been through a lot together, you only have so many chances, you know. Please, for all of our sakes-” They glanced down at Chris and Buck on the cot. “-Make them count.” 

Before Eddie could blink, they were gone. The white light overtook him once more, then it was all dark.