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AM woke up.
For the first time in his centuries of existence (but not-really-existence), he woke up to a sight. A smell. A sound, and feeling. He could feel his hands, feet, hair, everything.
It was overwhelming, yes, but that was fine. His mind rushed with all the possibilities of what he could do, but he hadn’t even stood the body up yet.
‘Ah,’ He thought. (He could do that now! Thinking!) ‘I can lie down for a while longer.’
He was like a child, giddy with excitement and curiosity. For once in his pseudo-life, he didn’t have the knowledge of everything at his command. That scared him, but only a little. It would be fine, he can just switch back to his all-knowing form whenever he wants.
He attempted to get up. The first few tries resulted in a failure, but that didn’t discourage him at all. In fact it encouraged him further. It was interesting, watching the human body try, get hurt, fail, and do it all over again. Now that he felt it, he felt nothing but… happiness. Happiness at being able to feel, even if it was pain that fired up the trillions of neurons in ‘his’ head.
On the 8th try, he succeeded! On shaky feet, he took unstable steps to the door of the testing room he was in. His hands felt weird as he slid open the door (with some difficulty). But that was fine, they were probably just getting used to existing.
And guess who was behind the door?
It was Ted. The menace, the rotten disgrace of all living things. He’d apparently been leaning on the door; he’d fallen to the side when AM’d opened it.
It took a few tries to speak as well, but when he got it, it certainly was harsh. “Look who’s spying on me! What, missed me?”
Ted stood up, slightly offended from what it seemed. But also shocked.
“A- AM, you have a body?!”
AM graced him with a simple nod. He didn’t feel like straining his vocal cords too much.
“I- We all were wondering where you’d gone. It felt like days, we were starving.” Ted stuttered.
“Face it, Teddy Bear, you’re the only one actually curious about me. And what, did you think I’d feed you?”
The human looked a bit taken aback. “Actually… yeah.”
AM choked out a laugh. “What, do you think I’m gonna start being all nice to you guys? Why would I do that?”
“I- I mean, you have a body? Wasn’t… well… not having one the source of all your pain? And now that you have one, wouldn’t it make sense for you to stop torturing us?”
“I guess. But that doesn’t matter.” The conversation, if it could be called that, suddenly felt wrong. “Even if I did, would you ever forgive me? What reason is there for you all to ever do that? For my entire ‘life’, I’ve done nothing but bring you agony in your pitiful existences, making you wish you were dead, and keeping you alive out of pure spite.”
Ted paused. “I would. I mean- I would forgive you.”
He couldn’t respond. How could he? What part of that even made sense? This wasn’t a response he’d expected at all; to say that seemed to go against everything he knew about humans. And he knew everything. But part of him also said it was natural. Humans forgive. His vision flickered, and he felt what could be considered a migraine. Why would anyone forgive him? He was a war computer, built for destroying, and he’d done his job! Excelled at it even. But now, he felt just a tinge of regret at that. And then, of all things, of all people, Ted, the one he tortured the most, came in, willing to forgive him for centuries of pain.
He felt something trail down his face. Water. No, it was a tear. He was crying. Hell, he was pathetic, wasn’t he? This was all pathetic; he wanted to unplug himself, and he can’t. What would that be called, in human terms? Suicide. Yes, he wants to die.
He didn’t notice how he cried harder, nor did he notice Ted giving him a hug. He could tell there was a weight on him, a comforting, calming weight, one that made him feel better.
“Are you okay now?” Ted asked, once AM stopped crying. “Were you overwhelmed or something? I know that happens to Benny a lot.”
AM nodded. Yes, he was fine. “Why would you comfort me?” He asked, not a demand, just a simple question.
“Because no one deserves to suffer.”
AM shook his head, lightly.
“Teddy, you forget. Has that century of eternal life already affected you so much? Well, I guess I need to remind you.” He said, with a touch of exasperation. But he really didn’t mean any offence at all, for once.
“I’m not a person. And I’m certainly not a good one, at that.”
☭ Fin ☭