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Chapter Text

“You’ve never heard of Alice in Wonderland?”

Mary watched as Lily pulled away from where she’d been sitting on James’s lap. All their friends were sitting around the fireplace in the common room, cozy, and cuddled up under blankets, but now Lily was extracting herself from James, and taking the blanket with her.

“It’s a muggle story Lily,” Remus’s voice was filled with amusement at James’s pout. “Of course he’s never heard of Alice in Wonderland!”

Lily scoffed, “That is not an excuse! It’s a classic!”

“I’m with Lily,” Mary called.

“Thank you, Mary!”

“Anytime, babe,” Mary winked over at Lily. She scooted over to make room in the armchair she’d been in, “Come sit with me instead of that uncultured Potter.”

“Hey!” James whined as Lily trotted over to Mary. “Okay, will any of you actually explain what ‘Alice in Wonderland’ is? Please?”

“It’s a book,” Alice said.

James frowned, “If it’s a muggle thing, how do you know about it?”

“Hello,” Alice gestured to herself. “Alice in Wonderland? They told me about it back in first year.”

“Yeah, and we made her watch the film.”

“What’s a film?” Asked Peter from his spot on the carpet.

Mary waved a hand dismissively, “Doesn’t matter. What matters is which one is Tweedledee, and who is Tweedledum?” She gestured to James, and Sirius.

“Excuse me?”

“Hm,” Lily tilted her head, and tapped her chin. “Sirius is Tweedledum.”

“Are you calling me dumb?”

“Yes.”

Sirius gasped.

“If I promise to lend him a copy of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” would you, please, go sit with the poor boy again?” Remus sighed. “He looks like he’s gonna cry.”

“I’m not gonna cry.”

Lily raised an eyebrow, “Promise you’ll read it?”

“I promise!”

She sighed. She kissed Mary’s cheek, and got up to return to James. He beamed up at her, pulling her into his chest, and kissed her forehead.

“Aw, that’s gross,” Marlene cooed. “May I remind us all we’ve got our last ever quidditch game tomorrow morning? And it’s currently 3am?”

“It’s what?” James practically threw Lily into the couch beside them as he stood up. “We need to go to bed, come on. Up to beds, up, up.”

“Oh come on, Marlene,” Frank grumbled, as James dragged him away from Alice, and to his feet.

“Sorry guys,” Marlene smirked.

Sirius swatted at her, “You’re just salty cause Dorcas left for her dorm hours ago.”

Marlene stood up, and flipped Sirius’s hair, “That is true. Good night boys!”

“You’re going to bed now too!” James called back at her.

“Yeah, yeah!” Marlene groaned. “G’night ladies. I hope you’re all bright-eyed, and bushy-tailed to cheer us on tomorrow.”

“We will, we will!” Mary blew her a kiss. She got up, and plopped herself in between Alice, and Lily on the couch they were seated on. “And then there were three.”

“Sorry, Mare,” Alice kissed her cheek. “I’m feeling like I’d better head to bed too.”

Mary gasped, “Nooo!”

“Good night, Alice,” Lily grabbed her wrist briefly as she passed. She turned to Mary, and pulled her into her side, “Then there were two?”

“Eh, three’s a crowd anyway,” Mary grumbled. She leaned into Lily’s open arms. “Who do you think is gonna win tomorrow?”

“You really think James, or Marlene are letting themselves lose their last ever Gryffindor quidditch game?”

Mary giggled, “Hm, good point, but do you think Cassie is losing her last ever Slytherin game? Or that Regulus is gonna pass on his last ever chance to kick his brother’s ass?”

“Ah, so it’s anyone’s game.”

“Truly. It may even be entertaining.”

Lily gasped, “A quidditch game? Be entertaining? Now that’ll be the day.”

Mary looked up at her friend, “Oh, don’t let your boyfriend hear you say that. He might only kiss you ninety-nine times tomorrow instead of his usual hundred.”

“Ha, ha,” Lily pushed Mary’s face away.

They kept talking in the dying fire light. Their light whispers filling the empty room. Mary hadn’t even noticed herself dozing off.

Chapter Text

Mary blinked her eyes open. The morning rays shone through the common room window, casting the room in a pinkish hue. The embers of the dying fire last night were now just ash in the fireplace.

Lily was gone. She must’ve gone upstairs at some point. Very rude of her to leave Mary on the couch to wake up alone with a crook in her neck.

She sat up, stretching out her back as she looked around. It was probably around 7 in the morning, so the Gryffindor quidditch team would be bounding down the stairs any minute to head out for morning pre-game practice. Mary figured she’ll wait to see them off before going upstairs to get a few more hours of sleep before the game.

A door opened upstairs in the girl’s dorm, followed quickly by hurried footsteps. Mary looked over to the staircase just as Lily came running down.

Wait.

Was that Lily?

She had Lily’s fire-y red hair, freckled pale skin, and bright, emerald green eyes, but she also had a waistcoat, an oddly large pocket-watch, and a pair of fluffy, white bunny ears on her head.

Bunny Lily ran right past Mary, and hopped into the fireplace. A flash of green swallowed her up, leaving a hole in the ashes of the hearth behind.

Mary stared into the hole from the couch.

What the fuck.

She stood up to inspect the fireplace, only to realize she was not wearing the sweater, and pair of jeans she had fallen asleep in anymore.

Instead, a pale blue dress hugged her figure, and flared out around her thighs, a nice, white apron overtop, and a cute pair of Mary Jane’s with white frilly socks covered her feet. She felt her hair, only to find a ribbon tying back her curly hair.

Well then.

She inched closer to the edge of the hole, and peaked over the edge. Darkness smiled up at her.

Here she stood, dressed as Alice, met with a rabbit hole that her friend just jumped down. What was a girl meant to do?

Obviously, she jumped into the hole after Bunny Lily. A flash of green engulfed her, and she started to fall.

She kept falling.

And kept falling.

Hm, staying true to the story, huh?

Falling is boring. The story never truly captured how boring it is to fall for… how long had she been falling? If only Bunny Lily were here with her obnoxiously large pocket watch.

Is Bunny Lily really a good name for her, Mary wondered. The bunny’s name is the White Rabbit isn’t it? Perhaps, I should call her Lily Rabbit instead.

“Lily Rabbit,” Mary tested it out loud, because what else was she to do while she fell? “Bunny Lily, Lily Rabbit, Bunny Lily, Lily Rabbit, Bunny Lily, Lily Rabbit, Bunny Lily, Lily Rabbit,
Bunny Lily, Lily Rabbit, Bunny Lily, Lily Rabbit, Bunny-”

“Would you quit that?” A scowling mouth appeared in front of her. It would have made her jump had she not been falling through empty air.

“Quit what?”

The scowling mouth flipped upside down, so it looked like a scowling smile, “Quit your mindless yammering. It’s dreadfully annoying.”

The stupid floating mouth sounded horribly posh, and arrogant. Oh wow, wonder who this will turn out to be, Mary thought to herself.

As if on cue, the rest of Regulus’s face appeared, along with the rest of his body, covered in pink, and purple stripes. He had cat ears perched on his head, pink, and purple. He looked comical.

While Mary tried her best to hold in her laughter, Regulus Cat continued to scowl. He looked her up, and down with disgust.

“That’s better,” Regulus Cat disappeared, leaving his frown for just a second before that too disappeared.

“Dick,” Mary giggled out.

“I heard that!” Regulus Cat snapped from wherever he was.

“Good.”

A small light appeared down below Mary. It grew closer, and closer, until Mary was falling into a long hallway. She landed with a flood on the hardwood floor.

Doors covered the walls up, and down the room, all different shapes, sizes, and colours. A small, wooden table sat in the center of the room.

“Ow,” Mary stood up, rubbing her bruised butt. She looked down the hall. “Ah, I see,” she sighed, and wandered down the long hall, examining each door. “It was a tiny door, wasn’t it?”

No one answered her as she approached the table. She rounded it, and finally saw the smallest door at the end of the hallway. She crouched down to look through the keyhole, and saw a beautiful, lavish garden on the other side.

Mary smiled to herself, and stood up again, “This is officially the coolest dream I’ve ever had.”

She picked up the mysterious bottle that appeared on the table labelled ‘drink me’.

“Oh wait,” Mary held the bottle away from her. “Is this classic Wonderland, or Disney Wonderland? Disney wonderland she climbs through the hole, I think. Classic, she has to swim through her own tears. Oh!” She grabbed the key off the table, and slipped it into her pocket, “Now, it’s neither.”

She walked over to the door, popped open the bottle, and took a sip. She began to shrink. Her dress seemed to get bigger as Mary’s height fell to the size of the door. Her clothing sat in a puddle around her. She grabbed at the cloth, and held it to her body, panicked.

“Shit, shit, was this in the original? Fuck, fuck,” Mary turned around to assess her options. “Goddamnit.”