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“Pleeeeeeease?!?”
“Please, Miss Eina. You’re the only one who can do this!”
“You taught Master Touga about the birds and the bees, didn’t you?” asks Tessera. “This can’t be any worse than that!”
Eina adjusts her glasses atop her head; folds her hands before her chest. “I taught Master Touga about all of Earth’s creatures,” she says. He’d learned the animals and their kanji together, as she’d read aloud his favorite picture book; the memory warms her heart. “But… what does that have to do with marriage?”
Tuile throws her hands in the air; her twintails follow. “We’re doomed!” she cries. “We’ll be married to our jobs forever!”
Tessera scolds her with a look. “We’re not doomed. Once Master Sandman returns from his anniversary trip, we can ask for his guidance.” Then she smiles at Eina. “If we even need to!”
Eina gulps. “I… I don’t —”
“They’re back!” Marinia announces, from her control console. She looks over her shoulder, towards the rest of the maids. “I’m done now, right? You all can do the rest without me!”
Here’s Eina’s chance! “I think you can do the rest without me, too…” she tries.
But Tuile’s faster. She spins Eina around, grips her shoulders, leads her out of the command center and into the hangar where the Gran Kaiser kneels, the Geo Mirage still on its back. “Do your best, Miss Eina!” she cheers — then, she’s gone.
Eina takes a deep breath to steel herself. She’s a healer-type maid; she’s not built for reconnaissance! But her fellow maids are counting on her, so…
Master Touga steps out of the Gran Kaiser and climbs down its frame. “I don’t think that’s how it works,” he says. He’s beneath the Geo Mirage by the time Mister Eiji emerges. “Won’t you have to let it proof first? That’s what Cecile told me.”
“Nah.” Mister Eiji leaps out of the Geo Mirage, stumbles, catches himself on Master Touga’s shoulder before he can fall on his face. His hair’s wet. “Ayaka never did that, and hers always turned out fine.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“We can ask her, then.” Master Touga nods, steadies Mister Eiji, turns to the hangar exit. “When she — oh! Hi, Eina!”
He smiles as wide as Eina’s ever seen. Mister Eiji follows his lead, and when he sees Eina, he grins too. “Oi, Eina!”
Eina bows. “Welcome back, Master Touga. Mister Eiji.” She takes a deep breath again — Master Touga’s happiness calms her, but Mister Eiji’s is foreboding; a sign he’s put another reckless scheme into action — stands, and says, “I want to speak with Master Touga, if you have a moment?”
“Of course!” Master Touga says with a nod. He turns to Mister Eiji. “I’ll find you after?”
“I’ll wait in the dining room.” Mister Eiji waves at them both, and Eina watches him leave the hangar. He’s still cheerful, to an unsettling degree — he might pull a prank later; Eina should keep alert.
But once he’s gone, she turns back to Master Touga. “Master Touga.” Her voice shakes. “I have a question to ask you.”
“What is it, Eina? Is everything okay?”
She shifts her weight from side-to-side; lowers her glasses over her eyes. “Yes,” she says. “I’m fine. But I was curious… at Master Sandman’s wedding, you asked Mister Eiji to marry you.”
“Mm.” Master Touga nods.
“Well… Japan doesn’t allow that yet.”
“The Netherlands does,” Master Touga says. He beams even brighter. “And Belgium. And some parts of Canada. Eiji looked it up!”
Well, there’s Eina’s answer.
“That’s lovely,” she says — and she means it! She loves Master Touga and Mister Eiji; if they want to marry each other, one day, she will do everything she can to let that happen.
If Master Touga will stand his ground, then — as his caretaker — Eina will, too.
☀
Eina can’t stand her ground, much as she tries.
She does her best to convince the other maids to drop it; that everything will work out in time. But they don’t listen — which leaves it to Thoria. Her job as a maid is to fix things, after all; to find solutions no one else can — she’ll fix this! There’s an option everyone else has overlooked!
“Would you say the updates improve feedback time?” she asks Master Touga, after training.
“Yes.” Master Touga nods; his voice is deep, serious. “By about six or seven percent.”
“And that feels good?”
“Yes. It’s easier to recall the Drillers after a Pressure Punch, and more natural.”
“Good, good.” Thoria scribbles as much on her clipboard. She keeps her gaze low — subtle, nonchalant — and seizes the opportunity before her. “Would you say that Gravion’s… an extension of yourself?”
With a blink, Master Touga swaps focus for confusion. His voice is lighter when he speaks again. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Wellllllllll…” Thoria lets herself look up, tap her pen on her chin — like she hasn’t fine-tuned this question as much as Gravion itself. “Do you see Gravion’s actions as your actions?”
“Like… the Pressure Punch?”
“Like everything!” Thoria exclaims. “If Gravion throws a Pressure Punch, did you throw a Pressure Punch? If Gravion learns to surf, did you learn to surf? If Gravion marries… oh, I don’t know, the head maintenance maid… would that count as you getting married? You’re the brains, after all!”
“Hmm.” Master Touga’s brow furrows. A good sign; that’s Gravion’s brain at work!
“If not, I can refine the feedback further…” Thoria prompts.
Master Touga nods, skyrockets Thoria’s hopes — before he shoots them down with his battle-trained precision. “Gravion’s not me. But that’s not your fault! It needs everyone else, too.”
“But —”
“I can’t pilot without Eiji, and Eina, and Leele, and Luna, and Mizuki, so I don’t think I could surf without them, either.” Then Master Touga grins, as though he didn’t just pop her spirit like a balloon. “Your work is perfect, Thoria!”
Thoria deflates with a sigh. “Thanks, Master Touga,” she says. “That’s all I wanted to know.”
“You’re welcome!”
☀
Brigitta’s in the common area with Anya and Cecile when the older maids finish their shift. It’s impossible to miss — Tuile’s announced it the same way for a week.
“What do we do now?” she bemoans, once the door shuts behind her and offers maids-only sanctity. “Master Touga’s not gonna budge! None of us will ever be able to get married!”
“Does the marriage have to last?” Thoria asks. She pulls off her headband, shakes out her hair. “If Master Touga marries someone else as a favor, and then they divorce… does that count?”
“Thoria!” Tessera scolds. She steps out of her heels — for a moment, Brigitta thinks she might whack Thoria with them. “We serve Master Touga! We can’t ask him for a favor like that.”
“I’m with Thoria,” Tuile pipes up.
Tessera rolls her eyes. “We are not doing that. Master Sandman knows the EFA President and other politicians. When he returns, why don’t we ask if he’d suggest a bill to legalize marriage between two men? Or Master Touga and Mister Eiji, specifically.”
Thoria freezes — one glove half pulled-off — to frown. “How is that not a favor?”
“She’s got you there!” Marinia laughs. “Anyways, I’ve been thinking. Mister Eiji likes cross-dressing, right? A judge would perform the ceremony if they believed he was a woman…”
At that, Brigitta rolls her eyes. “Mister Eiji can’t keep his big mouth shut for that long,” she grumbles under her breath.
Anya turns to her as the older maids bicker. “What was that, Brigitta?”
Brigitta flushes. “Nothing! I, uh, have to use the bathroom.” Then she smiles in apology and slips out the back exit, unnoticed in the chaos.
Thoria’s desire to marry Gravion isn’t new — she’d find any excuse — but if even Marinia’s come up with a convoluted scheme, someone has to take action!
It doesn’t take Brigitta long to find Mister Eiji. He’s snacking on a plate of cookies — swiped from the kitchen, probably — where he often does: at Master Touga’s side. They’re both sat on the railing of a balcony which overlooks the moat — if either of them sneeze too hard, they’ll end up underwater.
Brigitta sighs. It may be too late to save Master Touga from Mister Eiji’s improper corruption — but if she can get Mister Eiji off the market, maybe Master Touga won’t be hung up on him forever. “Mister Eiji!” she calls, as she joins them on the balcony.
“Huh?” Mister Eiji jerks his head in her direction. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”
Brigitta props her fists on her hips. “You better get married soon,” she says.
“I —” Mister Eiji blinks. “Excuse me?”
Brigitta frowns. Is he stupid? “I don’t care who it’s with. I know it might be hard to find someone. But you’re just causing problems for everyone else! You better fix this, or else I’m never gonna be able to get married!”
“Huh?! Me?! Fix what?!”
“Yes, you. Without you, we wouldn’t be in this situation!”
“Eh?!” Mister Eiji flails his arms wildly. He is stupid! “But I — Brigitta, wait, you —”
Brigitta sticks her nose in the air. “I think we’ve waited long enough!” she declares. Then she turns on her heel and heads back inside.
With any luck, the older maids will be too preoccupied to ask questions.
☀
The balcony door closes behind Brigitta with a whoosh. Touga takes another bite of his cookie. The evening breeze flows smooth around them, undisturbed.
If Brigitta’s goal was to mess with Eiji alone, she succeeded.
Eiji drops his arms, and sighs as he returns to the plate for himself. “What was her problem?” he mutters — his eternal question since joining Earthgertz. “Brigitta’s way too young to worry about marriage. And what does that have to do with me?”
Touga shrugs. “Maybe Eina asked her about it? She asked me.”
“She did?”
“Mhm.” Then Touga tilts his head to the side. “Thoria did too, actually.”
Eiji frowns. “Thoria wants to marry you?”
“I think she wants to marry Gravion,” Touga says. Okay. Sure. “But she asked if that ‘counts’ as marrying me, too.”
“Huh?!?”
“Don’t worry!” Touga smiles at Eiji. “I told her it didn’t!”
“That’s good, but… why does she care if you…?”
Eiji thinks another second — then facepalms so hard he almost knocks himself off the balcony.
“Eiji?” Touga catches him with a steady hand on his back. “What is it?”
Eiji sighs. “They’re trying to marry us off,” he explains. Part of him is pleased the maids didn’t bother pushing Touga to marry someone else — but that same part is miffed they thought he might! “Since you were next in line to get married after Ayaka. Guess they think that means they have to wait until you’re married to do the same.”
Touga’s eyes grow wide. “Oh.”
“You didn’t tell them?!”
“No… should I have?”
Eiji stares at his husband — his beloved, airheaded husband, who he married a week ago in a lakeside village in the Netherlands — and considers it. The looks on the maids’ faces would be priceless!
But — “Nah,” he decides. He grins, throws an arm over Touga’s shoulders, plants a kiss on his temple. “Ayaka knows; she’ll tell them when she gets back. I think it’ll be fun to keep it to ourselves for now.”
“Okay!” Touga agrees, easy. “I’ll try not to get caught.”
Eiji giggles; pulls him closer. He married Touga to enjoy this for the rest of his stupid awesome life — and he can’t wait.