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When Margaret Hart was on the brink of death, her daughters came running. It had been years since they were all in the same place, when the only son had disappeared with a band of pirates. The matriarch, with neither husband nor son to care for her, quickly succumbed further to her chronic ailments. With no other options left, she had been moved into the household of her eldest daughter and her husband, who swiftly learned the stress of such responsibility. Within a few months, she needed constant care, most of which fell upon the shoulders of one Penelope Wood, nee Hart.
“Who knew one woman could require so much money?” Penelope’s husband complained as he returned with a month’s worth of medicine.
“Makes you ponder how Phillip managed,” Penelope agreed.
Her husband clicked his tongue. “You speak too much about a traitor.”
Penelope bit her tongue to hold back the venom bittering her saliva. You wouldn’t have married me without that ‘traitor’s’ blessing. If he knew you’d be speaking to me like that...
Eventually, it’d become apparent that the end of her life was nearing. Penelope wrote letters to her sisters, suggesting they say their goodbyes soon, and by a stroke of luck, Elizabeth and Jane arrived within several hours of one another a couple weeks after with their children in tow. These were the circumstances that gathered all the Hart women under one roof again. It seemed, somehow, that nothing less than tragedy could compel them to unite nowadays. They were sure it hadn’t always been like this, back in the idyllic days of childhood, before they’d been separated into new homes and busied with children. Now, they only saw one another when they were about to lose more of their family.
Margaret laid in her bed. Several pillows lifted her head when she had no strength in her to sit. An open window aired out the stench of sickness. Her three daughters spent all of the time they were able to in her room. Her grandchildren were allowed to see her, though more often they played with their cousins and learned from their tutors. For brief periods, one of her sons-in-law may drop in and pay their respects to her. But at night, it was only the four women, holding their breath in silence, or waiting for the inevitable while Elizabeth read aloud for entertainment.
It was an early afternoon, however, where instead of silence being filled by Elizabeth, Margaret rambled endlessly. Penelope gazed out the window, heart too heavy to face the condition her mother was in. Elizabeth skimmed through a novel she’d ready many times over. Jane, youngest of them all, sat at their mother’s bedside, holding her hand and attentively listening to the musings of a dying woman.
“There are many things I wish had been different,” Margaret lamented to nobody in particular. “I wish I’d been well enough to do more for all of you growing up. I wish your father were still alive.” She sighed heavily. “I wish Phillip were here, as well. I wish we knew how he was fairing.”
The mention of that name drew the attention of all sisters. With each passing day of the Hart son’s absence, the more his name gathered dust on all of their tongues. It’d become taboo to mention his existence, even to their own children who wondered where their uncle had gone. The unspoken topic festered into a sore spot. But Margaret never let herself forget, nor did she let any of her visitors forget, either.
“I’m sure he’s well,” Jane hushed. “He didn’t leave alone.”
“Ah,” Margaret bemoaned, “but we know so little about who he left with. We know nothing about why. I wasn’t there to ask him what changed.”
Jane squeezed her mother’s hand. “He had his reasons.”
“You say that with a lot of certainty,” Penelope remarked, watching the children chase each other around outside. The oppressive weight in the room couldn’t reach them, couldn’t anchor their carefree fun despite the reason for this family reunion. An ugly jealousy twinged in her stomach.
“Would he have left without reason?” Jane challenged.
Penelope turned towards her sister. “I don’t know. It feels like we didn’t understand him very well at all.” It was an awful thing to say, but the stress of witnessing her mother’s deterioration had strained her patience and goodwill.
Jane narrowed her eyes. “And whose fault did that end up being? How did we get to the point where we were blindsided by this?”
“Please,” Elizabeth fretted, “stop fighting. We’re supposed to be here to grieve and heal. Let’s not take our stresses out on each other.” She closed her book and confessed, “I wish Phillip were here to say his goodbyes, as well. I miss him terribly.”
A painful silence hung over them. Through the window, juvenile laughter drifted in with the summer wind. The heat mattered little to the coldness trapped in their skin, forming ice in their blood and freezing their muscles. It could have been the hottest day of the year, and it would have done nothing to melt them.
“I’m going to make some tea,” Penelope muttered, and she left.
Elizabeth stood up. “I’ll make sure she’s not too angry.”
And then Jane was alone with their mother. The sound of the door closing rattled their bones.
“He’s happy,” Jane reaffirmed. “I know it.”
“I hope so,” Margaret agreed. “I’d regret it most of all if I died while he was miserable.”
“He isn’t,” Jane assured her. Then, she whispered almost too quiet to hear, “I saw him. I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but I can’t bear the idea of you dying with that uncertainty in your heart.”
Margaret’s eyes widened. “What do you mean, Jane?” Margaret questioned. “When did you see him?”
And so Jane began her tale.
***
Jane Cooper, nee Hart, did not often get the opportunity to leave far from home, but for once, the stars aligned. Her husband had been invited to a wedding in France, and she accompanied him as his plus-one. In the meantime, their daughter and son could be watched by the nanny for two weeks. It was rare for her to take such a long break from motherhood, and on the ship to their destination, she’d been at a loss about how to fill the hours. She’d settled on watching the sailors at work, documenting her trip with paper and ink and trying to keep her handwriting legible.
Their hosts were gracious people. The groom had been friends with her husband for half their lives, and his soon-to-be bride, a widowed woman remarrying, treated Jane with similar warmth. Elise was her name, and she ensured Jane’s comfort when she arrived, sitting her down on a settee and giving her tea with sugar to drink. She moved with natural grace. Her strawberry blonde hair curled down to her chin, framing her strong jaw beautifully. She was a breathtaking sight, one that stirred uncomfortable sentiments in the youngest Hart. As such, she often escaped to the coastal city’s markets near the harbor.
Many husbands would worry about their wives going off on their own in strange cities, but Jane was nothing if not the most independent of her sisters, and her spouse knew that well. He only asked that she be back by certain times, to not leave beyond the city and to conceal a small dagger on her person for protection. Otherwise, Jane was free to come and go, and these limits did not bother her. It was not as if she planned to travel the country and stay out every night.
Planned, of course, being the operative word. One did not plan for what Jane experienced that sunny afternoon.
She’d been perusing stalls of trinkets, deliberating over what to bring back as souvenirs for the children. Perhaps that butterfly headpiece over there for Diane, a spyglass for Elliot- no. They would fight over the spyglass. Better to get them both one, and then the headpiece or Diane, and then a second gift for Elliot. Was there anybody else she wanted to give something to?
It was then that she turned her head to gauge where else she could browse goods, and there stood a man she had not seen in a long time, who’d run away from his life, his family, months prior. She could have been convinced that she was mistaken, if it hadn’t been for the brooch nestled near his heart.
There was Phillip Hart, her brother. He stood beside two other characters, one with a hook in place of a hand, the other with a bandana tied around their forehead. Phillip hunched over a fruit stand, donned in civilian clothes instead of his redundant navy uniform, inspecting each and every green apple individually before deciding to pay for a select few.
Jane’s breath caught. She never expected to see him after he left, much less so randomly. Her legs moved without her permission, navigating through the shifting bodies between her and her lost kin, but then Phillip and his travel companions walked off elsewhere. Jane redirected herself to follow, keeping a distance but never letting them out of her sight. She should have shouted out to him, but her lungs wouldn’t allow it. What if he ran at the sight of her, hiding within the crowd, and she lost her only chance? No. She needed to be closer.
She trailed them all through the harbor. They stopped briefly at the occasional stand, but just when Jane wondered if it was the right time to approach, Phillip’s companions would pull him away and towards the next merchant. Endlessly, it seemed to go, and though Jane itched to creep closer, a stronger part of her told her to hold off, until they were somewhere private, if they even would go somewhere like that. If not... she’d just need to figure it out. But she couldn’t leave without speaking with him, without hearing directly from his mouth why he had to leave.
The trio she tracked left the harbor but stayed along the coastline. They trudged at a sluggish pace. Phillip’s companions looped their arms through his, keeping him from barreling ahead at the brisk speed Jane knew her brother naturally walked at. Jane worried she might need to duck behind a convenient tree, but the two with her brother seemed to be constantly occupying him with inaudible chatter that Phillip readily responded to. The farther they journeyed, the farther they strayed from all people and buildings. They treaded untouched sand, their footsteps muffled by the soft terrain. Ocean waves licked the shore meters away. The sun bared down on them all, and Jane wished she brought her parasol to block out the light.
Where were they headed, she wondered. If they were traveling about by ship, weren’t they docked at the harbor? Or did they have some other stops in mind? But where, when they were becoming ever more secluded from the rest of civilization with each step?
Shadowing them became easy. There was a fascination in watching Phillip when he had no awareness of Jane’s eye. Her brother had always been more reserved. Stone faced, responsible Phillip, who rarely smiled, who never smiled at all after their father’s death, who seemed to distance himself from the company of others, walked arm-in-arm with two others at a leisurely stroll without a hint of restlessness, not smiling, but not frowning in constant dour expressions. It was a relaxed kind of neutral. Even his shoulders were lowered.
Jane wondered, if she made herself known, if those shoulders would rise again, if that face would tense into terror.
For ages, it seemed, she was stuck in this conundrum of wishing to reach out and fearing what would happen after. She drifted farther from the city, drawn by the pull of following in her brother’s footsteps. And so successfully did his companions distract him that no one turned their heads to glance behind, where they would have surely seen her on the open beach. It was almost irritating, how dutifully they stuck to the side of someone she wanted to speak with alone, but more than that, it was also endearing.
They must have ambled several miles before her courage began to collect itself, when they were maneuvering through a cluster of trees that separated them from another stretch of beach. Maybe... maybe this would be a good time. Those other two clearly weren’t going to leave anytime soon. They were far, far from other people. There was nobody else who would overhear. This might be her best chance now. Jane’s chest tightened. When she had his attention, there would be no going back. She breathed in deeply and held it for a few seconds as she prepared herself.
But then her brother gasped at something he saw straight ahead through the clearing, and the shout of his name died on Jane’s tongue. Phillip went on ahead to whatever waited outside the trees, followed by his companions. Jane carefully weaved through the trees, nearly tripping over a root and scratching her palm against a trunk to save herself from a fall. She kept marching on, stopping right before the clearing and concealing herself within the trees while she observed the scene. Once she realized what she saw, Jane nearly let out a gasp of her own.
Yellow rose petals scattered over the hidden beach. Parallel lines of peculiar characters lead to a makeshift arch, where a tan, handsome man in white kneeled. Another group of characters huddled off to the side, holding instruments that had seen better days. An entire banquet was set up a safe distance from the ocean. In the distance, a lone ship was anchored into the sand.
And Phillip, Jane’s brother who hadn’t cried in front of others since the funeral, bawled openly as he curled into himself. The tan man stood and waltzed over to Phillip with light steps in tall, heeled boots. Up close, he was handsomer. A hawkish nose and a strong jaw. Beautiful, brown hair tied up. Lighter brown eyes sharpened by black lines of makeup. A lilting cadence as he spoke.
“Phillip,” the man professed, “you know one of my dreams is to be married. For many years, I believed it was impossible. I thought I’d just have a bunch of flings for the rest of my life. And then I met you... and we did not get along at all.”
Phillip snickered, covering his hand as an ugly snort forced its way through his nose. The tan man grinned widely. He took Phillip’s hands in his.
“Luckily,” the man continued, “we got to know each other a little better after that. And I know...” He rubbed Phillip’s knuckles. “You gave up a lot for us. For me. I never expected anyone to do that. We aren’t the family you left behind...” He got down on one knee again. “But I’d still like to continue being your home, for the rest of our lives. We can have as many books in our cabin as you’d like. We’ll get another bookcase. I’ll listen to all of the songs you want to play for me on the piano-”
“I’m already going to say yes,” Phillip interrupted, choked up. “You don’t need to keep selling it to me.”
“Okay, okay,” the other man laughed. “I’ll save the rest for the vows.”
He rose as Phillip grabbed his face, pulling him up to mesh their lips in a tearful kiss. The others around whooped and clapped in celebration. Jane lingered in the trees, in the fringes, welling up with indescribable emotions as she watched.
“I’m sorry,” the tan man said when he pulled away, “that your family couldn’t see this-”
“That’s not true!”
It was then that Jane revealed herself, stepping out into the clearing while mouths gaped upon hearing and seeing her. She did not care for their reactions, only the astonishment worn clearly on her brother’s face as she marched up and threw her arms around him. Phillip tensed into the hug, but that was okay. He didn’t need to return it. He just needed to know that she loved him.
“How did she find us?” somebody asked, but Jane had shut her eyes. It sounded like the tan man. “Were you followed?”
“I guess we were really focused on distracting Phillip,” a second voice answered. “We got distracted ourselves.”
“Our bad,” a third voice added. “But... all’s well that ends well?”
Eventually, awkward arms circled around Jane in return. They hovered just a bit, before settling into the embrace, and Jane squeezed him tighter.
“Wha-” Her brother spluttered. “Jane, how- Why are you in France?”
Oh, he made it too easy to tease. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m here for a wedding.”
Jane opened her eyes and looked up at Phillip. His steely blue eyes glazed with a fresh batch of unshed tears. His face flushed deep red. He sniffed and hiccupped. His soon-to-be husband, still beside him, rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades.
“I have an outfit waiting for you on Rosaura,” the fiancé murmured. “Maybe you should catch up on the way there.”
Phillip sniffed again as he nodded.
For the first minute or so, they walked side by side in relative silence. Phillip wiped away all of the snot and tears from his face with a handkerchief, cringing at how soiled it ended up before putting it away. Jane chuckled to herself. Even now, he was still disgusted by mess, including his own.
“Seriously,” he said more steadily, “how did you end up here?”
So Jane explained to him the events leading her to this moment. Phillip listened silently, nodding along subtly as the redness in his cheeks cooled back down to their paler color. Slowly, the ship enlarged in her field of view as they approached closer and closer.
“I see,” Phillip responded once she finished. “That’s a remarkable coincidence.” He shielded his eyes with his hand. “I can’t believe we didn’t notice you. If you were anyone else, it’d be embarrassing, but I guess I should expect that kind of stunt from you.” He risked a peek at her. “But you followed us for a long time without saying anything.”
“Well....” Jane breathed in the briny air. “A lot of things happened. I didn’t know if you’d want me impeding on your new life.”
Phillip said nothing in reply. Jane tried not to be bothered by that, or by the coarse sand that had been collecting in her shoes all this time.
For some reason, Jane assumed that a pirate ship would be more different to any other ship than it was. In reality, it was... a ship. That happened to be owned by pirates. Its shape and structure were not too dissimilar from those of the navy. Its most distinct contrast was the flag. Instead of the Union Jack, they flew a black flag of skull and bones with a yellow rose. The wind calmed for the time being, leaving it relatively limp in the sky. Phillip climbed up the ramp onto the deck, Jane following behind. He made his way over to a cabin door. Jane stayed a few steps behind.
The cabin surprised Jane with its contradictory disorder. Many clothing and other personal items were strewn about randomly, but other things, like the books, were tucked away neatly, and the bed was perfectly made. A white outfit was laid out on the bed, complete with a veil and bouquet of yellow roses. Phillip trailed his fingers along the veil, a long and delicate weave of lace. His mouth brightened into a soft smile. It encouraged Jane to smile, too.
“He seems very good to you,” she remarked. “I don’t think I ended up getting his name.”
Phillip gathered the wedding attire gently into his arms. “His name is Rome,” Phillip told her. “I’ll admit, I was expecting you to fixate more on the fact that I ran away with a man. Just how much were you all told?”
“Not very much,” said Jane. “Just that you’d betrayed the Crown and ran off with pirates you were meant to be capturing. We’ve mostly been left to theorize why.”
Phillip sighed, “It was a lot of things. Taking care of mum by myself, I had a crew mutiny and my job on the line, and... If I didn’t bring this stupid pirate and even stupider dagger to the King, I wasn’t going to just be fired. I was going to be outlawed.”
Jane stood still, listening attentively to what he said. An awful pit formed in her stomach. She’d known it was only Phillip caring for their mother, and she figured that sort of responsibility would bring some kind of tension... but she hadn’t known about the rest.
“And then Rome made everything that much more complicated. He kept escaping, agitated me every minute of the day, and pointed out every single one of my flaws.” Phillip laughed dryly. “But when I wasn’t being an arse, he was sweet. It was easy to open up to him.”
“I bet it helped that he was handsome,” Jane joked.
Phillip covered his mouth with his hand and looked away. “Well... That... It wasn’t just because he’s handsome-”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt when men are easy on the eyes.” And Jane winked.
Phillip blushed like mad and stepped behind the room divider. “Just wait outside while I change, please,” his voice cracked as he asked.
Jane sat by the cabin door while she waited. She stretched and massaged her legs, grateful for the chance to rest after what felt like hours of walking. The sun warmed her legs, helping their blood flow along and relaxing the muscles further. She thought about what Phillip said. It was an overview of the truth, she knew, but it was a great deal more than what she knew before. And just by observing him that day, it became clear to her that he was happier than she’d seen him in a long, long time.
Phillip emerged from the cabin a few minutes later, wearing the clothes that had been laid out for him. It was all pearly white- the coat, the waistcoat, the breeches and neckwear. And right there on the cravat, their mother’s brooch was pinned. He had the bouquet under one arm and the veil in his hands, a pensive brow furrowed at it in confusion. Jane rolled her eyes, stood and confiscated it from him.
“H-Hey!” Phillip exclaimed.
“You’re confused by a veil?” Jane chuckled.
“Getting it on isn’t confusing. It’s keeping it on.”
Jane reached into her hair and felt around until her fingers touched the metal hairpins that kept troublesome locks in their place. She pulled a few of them out, not minding the tousled strands that resulted, and held up the veil to place it on Phillip’s head.
“Hold on,” she assured him. “I’ve got this.”
Once she was sure she placed it correctly, Jane pinned the veil to Phillip’s hair. If you looked closely, you would notice, but it would stay, and that was the important part. This veil didn’t cover the face, only the head, billowing down his back, its hem hovering a few centimeters from the ground.
Jane had never seen a groom with a veil before.
“You look beautiful,” she told Phillip.
Phillip breathed in deep.
“Thank you.”
They walked back towards the makeshift altar, their steps more leisurely in their swagger. Jane looked out to the horizon, noting that the sun would begin to set shortly. Even if she left now, it would be past sunset by the time she returned, and her husband would certainly have questions about the uncharacteristic length of time she was out for. She may as well make the most of it.
And ensure nothing was left unsaid.
“You know I love Felix, right?” Jane tested.
Phillip nodded. “Of course. You were too strong-willed for a loveless marriage.”
Jane hummed. “I was very happy that I loved him. I told myself that if I just married him, then everything would be fine. I’d never have to be tormented by fanciful musings that could only get me in trouble.” The image of a strawberry blonde filled her mind. “Alas, I love my husband, and women are still breathtaking.”
Phillip halted his stride. Jane stopped alongside him, anticipating his reaction once he dissected the words. He raised his eyebrows in genuine astonishment as the revelation set in. His mouth pursed and un-pursed, attempting to form words that never materialized. His eyelashes fluttered with rapid blinking.
“...Oh,” he finally said. “I see.”
“Yes, now you see,” Jane giggled. “You should feel honored. No one else knows.”
“...Thank you.”
“Several thanks in an hour. Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
Phillip glowered. Ah. That was more like the uptight man she’d known before. Jane just chortled and dragged him farther along the beach, all the while catching Phillip up on what he’d missed in the family after his departure.
“I’m glad to hear that mum is being taken care of,” Phillip said. “I hope it’s less strenuous on them.”
Jane replied, “They’re learning how to manage, but she’s been in worse shape recently. I doubt she’ll go back to how she was.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We’ve always known her health was unreliable. Let us take care of this.”
As they neared the awaiting pirates, the group holding the instruments livened up and strummed a romantic melody. The rest turned their heads in the direction of the siblings. Rome turned last, fiddling with the earring dangling from his right ear. When he dared to glance at Phillip, the tense creases in his face ironed out. His expression softened into overt adoration. He watched them approach, and when Jane and Phillip stopped in front of him, Jane pecked her brother’s cheek and gave him another quick hug. She then stepped away, handing Phillip off to the man who hadn’t been able to tear his gaze away from him.
A broad, tall man stood as the unofficial officiant, his hair greying at the roots. He wore a necklace with an animal tooth that matched one tied into Rome’s elegant bun.
“Lady and men,” the broad man said, “and Caoimhe. We’re here today to celebrate the love between two individuals who chose each other despite all odds.”
Rome and Phillip clasped hands tightly, looking into each other’s eyes with bright, joyful smiles. The setting sun framed their heads into such an incredible picture, bathing them in golden sunlight and surrounding them with the warm hues of the sky.
“Phillip,” Rome cooed, “darling, how do you always manage to find a way to look more beautiful than you did yesterday?”
Phillip blushed as he looked away.
Rome continued, “I don’t know what made you lose your head and join a ragtag crew of pirates, but I’m grateful for you every day. Everything about you is precious to me- how cutely you ramble when something catches your interest, how focused you get on a task, how fearless you can be when it matters. I could watch you read for hours and try to guess how you feel about it based on the expressions you’re making. I cherish all of the moments we have together, and I’m happy to spend whatever time we have left ahead as your husband. I plan on taking care of you in this life and the next.”
Phillip sniffed and wiped his eyes. Jane did, too.
“Rome,” Phillip croaked. “I’m still surprised you let me in after everything I did.”
“Darling,” Rome hushed, “we talked about it-”
“I know,” Phillip cut in, “but I still said and did things I’m not proud of. I’ll be carrying those regrets for a long time. With that being said...” He kissed Rome’s hands several times over while he spoke. “I am eternally grateful that you gave me a chance I wasn’t sure I’d earned. Thank you for allowing me to prove how serious I am about you, about our life together. You make me want to take risks I wouldn’t have dared to consider before we met. It’s you who makes me want to be a better man so that I don’t squander this. I want to be a man who’s worthy of you.”
“You are,” Rome whispered, his voice warbling. “You already are, Phillip. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too. That’s why I need to be better than I was before. I want to provide you with the love and support you deserve. And I’ll do that for as long as you’ll have me.”
The broad man asked, “Do you take each other as husbands?”
“I do.” “I do.”
The exchanged wedding rings had been forged with shiny brass. They were simple bands with humble hearts engraved on their surface. As the couple slipped them onto each other’s fingers, they began to sob again. Their overwhelming glee filled Jane’s heart with that same feeling, replenished her eyes with tears, and congested her sinuses with cathartic mucus.
Jane learned a lot of things that day, and one of them was that pirates knew how to throw a celebration. Whiskey and rum were passed around like how you’d give sweets to children. The music was lively, the dancing fun, and the tall tales entertaining. She’d never heard so many interesting stories in one night, and she didn’t care that they were most certainly exaggerated, because they’d been recounted with such conviction that she found herself enraptured regardless of truth.
Phillip and Rome danced with each other first. Once they’d done that for a while, the newlyweds were pulled away by others to share a jig, but they always found their way back to one another. When the sun had long since said goodnight, and the sky above was decorated with heavenly stars, Jane grabbed her brother by the wrist.
“May I?” she asked.
Phillip nodded. Rome waved them off as they joined the other dancers and twirled each other around. Phillip, relaxed by a respectable amount of alcohol, grinned easily as they spun in uneven circles. It dizzied Jane into nausea, but he she held it down and enjoyed the fleeting moment.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much,” she remarked.
“It’s a happy day,” Phillip pointed out. His words slurred together. “I... ‘m really happy. Happy you’re here, too.”
“I’m happy, too.”
There were few nights that Jane wished would never end. This was one of those. But alas, when the night began to wound down, a defeated dread settled in her bones. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stand still and force time to freeze with her. She brought her brother and new brother-in-law into a long hug, holding on until she felt she imparted all of the love that had built inside her since she followed her brother in the market.
Phillip escorted her through the trees and along most of the beach. But when they neared civilization, they paused and faced each other for what would be the last time.
“Congratulations,” Jane said. “You deserve happiness, Phillip.”
“Thank you,” Phillip answered. “I... I’m sorry this has to be the last time we meet.”
And for the first time in many, many years, Phillip was the one who hugged first.
“Write to me,” Jane pleaded quietly. “Even if it’s under a pseudonym, even if I can’t write back. I just want to know that you’re okay.”
Phillip patted her back. “I’ll try.”
Jane choked. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” murmured her brother. “I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you all.”
“I know. I understand. I’m so proud of you.”
Phillip didn’t take the easy route. He abandoned everything he had built, rejected everything he was supposed to want, for the sake of love. It was a cruel world that didn’t allow Phillip to have his family and his husband, but Jane would rather have him be free than miserable.
When Phillip released her, a cold iced over Jane’s skin. But she kept her chin up. This was the only way the night was going to end. She could at least keep it together until she was alone.
“Bye,” Jane said.
“Goodbye,” Phillip returned.
She tried not to look back as she walked away, but Jane couldn’t help the need compelling her to soak in a few last glances of her brother’s form, until she was too far away to see him in the dark of night.
And then, finally, she cried to herself while her gait wobbled.
She had no idea what hour it was when she walked through the empty market. She reached into her pocket and gripped the handle of her knife as she hurried through streets where only drunkard men roamed at such an ungodly hour. At one part, she revealed it to a leering man, who scurried away nervously. Jane didn’t stop until she was at the house of Felix’s friend. She saw the light on downstairs through the curtain, and when she knocked at the door, it took mere seconds before the door was wrenched open by a wild-eyed Felix.
“Where have you been?!” he demanded as he ushered her inside. “Do you have any idea how long we spent looking for you? Pierre and his brothers are still searching out there. We thought you’d gotten kidnapped off the street!”
“I...” Jane almost keeled over. “I saw him. Phillip. He was here.”
In an instant, Felix’s expression stilled. “What?”
“He...” Jane sobbed. “I can’t... I can’t tell you everything... But he was so happy.”
Felix murmured, “Oh, Jane...”
He helped Jane lie on the sofa, propping her head against his own lap. Felix ran his fingers through her hair. Jane steadied her breathing in the spacious quiet. How lucky she was, to have a husband that prioritized knowing that she was alright over being cross with her. Though her warm sentiments towards women would never go away, Felix was the one she chose to love in this life.
“You really did see him?” he asked again with some awe.
Jane nodded. “I’m sorry that I caused a panic. But I needed to get closure with him.”
Felix nodded. “Okay. I believe you. You wouldn’t make that sort of thing up- you'd kill someone for doing that.” After another moment, he inquired, “Is he well?”
Jane smiled. “Yes. He was very well.”
***
When Jane finished recounting her story, Margaret squeezed her hand and pulled her into an embrace with the little strength she still possessed. The old woman kissed her daughter’s hair as they both cried.
“Thank you,” Margaret breathed. “Oh, thank you, Jane. For telling me, for being so brave. I love you and Phillip so much. You will always be my babies.”
Penelope and Elizabeth returned to an eerily silent atmosphere, tea and biscuits spread out on trays they carried. They set the treats down and passed them out wordlessly while Jane refused to meet either of their eyes.
“I apologize for earlier,” Penelope said. “It was out of line. I... miss Phillip, too, and it frustrates me that he isn’t here.”
“I know,” Jane replied. “I’m sorry, too. If Phillip knew what was happening, I’m sure he’d come rushing, consequences be damned.”
Margaret Hart passed away in her sleep a few days after. All available family congregated to grieve and bury the body next to her husband’s. Felix held Jane’s hand for the entire funeral, and on the ride back to their home, she rested her head on his shoulder.
When they returned, a letter awaited Jane, from a sender named Melissa Hill.
“Some timing,” Felix grumbled to himself. “You’re sure you can’t write back?”
Jane sighed, “Where am I supposed to address it to? The ship?”
“Right, sorry. Still, it doesn’t feel right that you can’t tell him.”
Jane smiled bittersweetly. “It’s okay. As long as he’s happy.”