Chapter Text
Tam
"What do you mean I can't go to Paris?" Sophie all but screams at Sandor. To his credit, he doesn't flinch, even as Sophie glares daggers at him.
We sit on her flower rug in her room, with the Spyball Dex rigged in the center of a circle of Sophie, Dex, Linh, and I. Fitz said he would be here, said he would help find his best friend, but no matter how many times we hailed his Imparter, he didn't pick up. Everybody was too excited about looking for Keefe to care that Fitz was gone, but I noticed his absence. I always do.
"You are, under no circumstances, running off to a Forbidden City to find That Boy -" I try not to chuckle at how Sandor says That Boy. "in the afternoon with no supervision and no warning, Miss Foster."
"Ugh," Sophie groans. "I can't believe we found Keefe, finally found him after looking for so long, and you won't let me get him. I... I need to get him, Sandor."
Her voice breaks with emotions as she speaks, her voice thick with concern and... something else. Sandor seems to hear it too, because he winces and looks away for a second, but he stands his ground. "You may not go, Miss Foster, and my word is final."
"Please, Sandor. You know how much this means to me. Dex? Tam? You must agree with me," she pleads.
"Yeah, Sandor, please?" Dex says. He sounds so hopeful, but even I know his begging is futile. After Sandor shakes his head again, Sophie looks to me.
"I want to find Keefe as much as you do, Sophie, and I want to find him now," I say slowly, surprised by how much I mean it. "The problem is, this is neither the time or place to get him."
I hope she knows that I don't mean the words and am only saying them to satisfy Sandor, but her eyes fill with betrayal that makes me feel guilty. "I know you don't like him, Tam, but he's your friend too," she says. "If your places were switched, he would already be on the way to find you."
I don't doubt it. Her words hurt, but I say nothing, until eventually Sophie continues glowering at the goblin, who is unaffected by her stare. A few seconds later, I hear Sophie's voice fill my mind.
"Tam, I need you, Biana, and Dex to go to the damn Forbidden Cities for me," she says. I shiver at the voice that is not mine but is in my head. I still haven't gotten used to it.
"Biana?" I think back. "But she's not here." I want to take back the words as soon as I think them, though, because of course Biana is here. She's probably standing behind me, invisible.
"Yes, she is," Sophie says. "And she's holding my hand right now. In ten seconds, she'll take your hand and we'll jump out my window."
I give an imperceptible nod and begin counting down in my head, all the while thinking what a terrible plan this is. Jumping out windows is never a good idea.
"What are you thinking, Miss Foster? I know that look of yours," Sandor says, noticing Sophie's strange silence. He seems uneasy, but confused.
Too soon, ten seconds are over and I feel a cold hand around my wrist, although I don't see anyone. Biana's small fingers tighten around my arm as I hear her unembodied whisper in my ear. "Run in 3, 2, 1."
And then I'm up and running for the window, Dex coming around the other side of me and grabbing my empty hand. I hear Sophie yell, "Sorry, Sandor," just as we reach the window and scramble out of it. Sandor gets up and begins yelling in the blink of an eye, but it's too late. I'm so caught up in the wild chase that I don't feel like I'm falling until I feel the now-familiar crack of going through the void and landing hard on pavement.
"Ow," I yelp, trying to stand up. "Are you all okay?" I shout over to my friends, but I hear no reply. When I turn around I see why.
"Where is everybody?" I ask Sophie, who is looking around the street we landed on for Dex and Biana, but her search comes up empty. Looking back to me, her eyes are filled with fear and guilt.
"I don't know. This is Paris, alright," she says, pointing to a tall, pointy looking building made of metal beams. "But I think since I teleported so suddenly and close to the ground, I may have gotten Dex and Biana stuck in the void?"
She says the last part like a question, but the worry etched in her face says it all: she needs to go back into the void to find Dex and Biana. Which means I have to go find Keefe myself.
"Okay then, go find Dex and Biana. If all goes well, they'll finally get some quality time together." Great, now I'm just like Keefe. I've made a fucking joke in a time of distress. "I'll find Sencen alone. I can... feel his shadow vapor."
She nods her agreement before putting her hand on my shoulder. "Give him a hug for me. Good luck."
"You too," I say, and then she runs down the street at a speed only possible using a Brain Push. Then the world splits open with a crack, and I'm alone on the streets of Paris, looking for a boy I don't even like. I take a deep breath before searching for the pull of the shadow vapor in Keefe's heart like I have so many times before. It feels stronger now, closer. Then I close my eyes and follow the beating of Keefe's heart through a Forbidden City.
Keefe
I ran away for a reason, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be found. I miss everyone so much, though. I miss Sophie's smile, Fitz's calm words, Dex's inventions, even Biana's flirting. Shit, I even miss Tam and his weird metal bangs. I would do anything to see one of them, but I would also do anything to never see any of them ever again. I can't risk them for that.
I open the window in my room and lean out of it, taking in a deep breath of French air. Paris smells a bit like croissants and cigarettes, but it mostly reminds me of how different the Forbidden Cities are compared to the Lost Cities. The view from my window only ever makes me ache for home. I wish time made it easier to be away from everyone and everything I love, but every day makes it harder to resist taking the Leapmaster I stole from my father and jumping back to Havenfield. In the end, the need to keep my friends safe and away from me wins every time, and I stay in my stupid human life.
I'd thought that living in the Forbidden Cities would be more interesting than it is. After I found a way to access my birth fund through an ATM like Dex can, I found myself jumping all over the world for a place to call home. As much as I would love to say that I spun the Leapmaster and was drawn to the City of Lights by fate, in truth I actually found it after visiting at least ten other human cities. Here, I bought myself this crappy apartment with the plan to live out the rest of my indefinite life here, at least until my mother finds me and forces me to hurt the people I love. Still, waiting is surprisingly boring.
I'm not scared to speak anymore. I accidentally began talking to some guy at a grocery store in California who started yelling at me for not paying correctly, and words became easier to use ever since. I actually think I might be able to use my power on command, but I haven't tried it yet.
Which is why when I hear my doorbell ring, I wonder briefly if I ordered pizza today before opening the door. It's why, when I see Tam standing behind the door, his silver-tipped bangs dancing over his equally silver eyes that are wide with hope, I can't stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth: "Tam? What are -"
I throw a hand over my mouth before I accidentally say something I don't want to say, or, god forbid, a command.
Tam's eyes widen further, and we stare at each other for a beat before he steps forward and wraps me in a tight hug. I stiffen in surprise, but the gesture is so perfect and genuine that I can't help but put my own arms around Tam. Seeing him makes the nostalgia and homesickness come back in sickening waves that threaten to knock me over, until Tam's embrace is the only thing holding me steady.
"God, Keefe, do you know how long we spent looking..."
Eventually, he pulls back and punches me in the stomach, hard. And Tam isn't weak. I double over and can barely keep from falling over.
"What..." I wheeze. "What the fuck was that for?"
I know the answer before he talks. "Do you have any idea what you put us through? Do you understand the hell we dealt with to find you? We have spent twelve weeks visiting Forbidden Cities and trying to telepathically reach you. Twelve weeks rigging this stupid Spyball to shadow vapor. Twelve weeks. I've been missing you for..." His voice breaks, and he hugs me again.
I thought I was keeping them safe. I thought I was being their savior by leaving. I didn't even think I was really hurting them by leaving. I didn't think they would miss me. But here Tam is, this guy that doesn't even like me, saying that my friends feel my absence. And that makes this hurt so much more.
I wish I could keep him here. I wish I could savor his embrace. Instead, I say, "You need to go."
Tam recoils as if I've struck him. His gorgeous eyes narrow in confusion and hurt. "What are you talking about? I need to fix you. I need to take you home."
I wish he would be the one to take me home at night. Wow, brain, now is really not the time to make jokes.
"This is my home. I left the Lost Cities to keep you guys safe. I can't go back." I pause. "What did you mean by, you need to fix me?"
"Oh. Right, you don't know yet. Your mother was able to track you because she fed you small amounts of shadow vapor while you were with the Neverseen."
I wince. Right, I forgot that my mother is a psychopath who feeds her son random shit. "No wonder the food tasted so bad."
Tam rolls his eyes at me. "We used the shadow vapor to track you here using Sophie's Spyball. She would have been here, except we had to run away from Sandor and she got Dex and Biana stuck in the void."
"Gigantor got Biana and Dexy some time alone together? You'll have to thank him for me." Because honestly, those two have been dancing around each other since Biana got over me.
Tam smiles, like he was thinking that too. But then his expression hardens. "You're going to tell him thank you yourself. Just like you're going to apologize to Fitz and hug Sophie."
Well, if that doesn't fucking hurt. I open my mouth to say that, no, I'm never seeing any of them ever again, but what comes out is: "Why don't you come in?"