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His Guardian was a peculiar one.
His Guardian.
When had that gone from something Vikram had begrudgingly accepted as part of his new reality, to a true and simple fact when it came to how he thought of Charlie? Although, his status as Librarian was a precarious one at the moment. So far he’d been able to come out of each new daring stunt unscathed, but what about next time? For Charlie, her role as Guardian could be seized in the blink of an eye. A fact he could wager weighed heavy on her shoulders.
Because, no, she wasn’t your typical Guardian. Not that he had much experience with the lot, but he knew she was something special. Tough. Kind. Maybe a touch delicate. Fully determined. It was a balancing act, one teetering between want versus years of experience, training to be the perfect soldier. Somebody the Library could rely on.
There were cracks in her facade, of course. It wasn’t just team-building for the sake of breaking in a wily Librarian. It was for her more than it was for him , Vikram thought. They might believe that they needed him, but watching them work together as a trio, it was becoming increasingly clear the ways in which they’d already come together as the perfect team.
Without him.
Maybe they couldn’t see it yet, but he could. Connor in particular, seemed determined to include Vikram as part of their unit, as much as he stood out, but Charlie? She was the one out of their mismatched duo who craved that sense of belonging.
It was in the way she looked at them. When Charlie looked at Lysa and Connor, she didn’t see people she wanted respect and validation from. Not entirely. With them there was a desire for companionship. To let go and make connections.
So, what did she see when she looked at him ? A warning? Or maybe a reminder that this thing she so desperately wanted to be a part of could vanish as fast as Vikram could make his first irreversible mistake.
The Annex was quiet as these thoughts twisted and turned loudly inside his mind. He could almost feel the books that lined his pathway watching him as he walked through their corridors. With each step, he was pulled deeper and deeper into his own mind.
Neither of them fit perfectly into whatever mold had been deemed acceptable for the perfect Librarian, nor the perfect Guardian, this much was true. He might have spent little time in the 21st century, but he’d already received a lifetime's worth of critiques in a single month. Though, maybe they were what the other needed to make it in this strange world. If only Charlie could look at him as less of a job and more of an equal. A partner, even.
If only Vikram could do the same.
He turned another corner, and that’s when he saw her, soft lamplight reflecting off her head like a halo and pulling him back into the present. He could reflect on the irony of that statement later.
Charlie was curled up on a plush loveseat, wrapped around a comedically large book, and, judging by the tousled state of her hair and flushed cheeks, she’d just recently completed some sort of Guardian-like exercise. It was admirable, if not a bit excessive, the lengths she’d go to be the best that she could be. They couldn’t all coast off of charm, natural talent, and good looks.
Vikram must have taken a loud step forward, judging by the way Charlie’s head snapped up to meet his gaze. The book in her hands fell slightly from her grasp, but she caught it on instinct before straightening her posture to greet him.
“Isn’t it a bit too early to be up and about, Sir?”
“I could say the same to you,” he replied, taking another step closer. Close enough to lean over and catch the comically large words atop the comically large pages.
“ The Snow Queen ? Don’t tell me we’ve got an infestation of cursed mirror shards to take care of.”
“Wh-” She seemed confused at first, by the attempt at humor, before the rest of her brain caught up with her. “Oh…no. My mom used to read me this exact edition before bed. I guess I was feeling nostalgic.”
“Good ole Hans, you know…I met the man once.”
Charlie said nothing in reply.
“...Interesting fellow.” Vikram added after another beat of silence.. Charlie only stared at him blankly. He couldn’t decipher if she was waiting to hear another summarized story from Vikram’s previous life or simply waiting for him to leave so she could get back to reading and reminiscing over her own past.
He settled on the latter.
“But, your mom has exquisite taste.”
“This one was her favorite, actually.”
Her voice was soft as she spoke. Words slip warmly from her lips, almost an invitation for him to stay and listen. Like they were playing a game of who could keep up the most air of mystery and it was her turn to shed a layer.
Charlie turned away from him, gaze lowering back down to the book nestled in her lap, and she began to read out loud.
“But, just as they passed through the door they were aware that they were grown people. The roses in the gutter were flowering in at the open windows, and there were the little stools, and Kay and Gerda sat down each on their own, and held each other by the hand. They had forgotten the cold empty splendour of the Snow Queen's palace as if it were a dismal dream. Grandmother was sitting there in God's bright sunshine and reading aloud from the Bible. "Except ye become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
And Kay and Gerda looked into each other's eyes, and all at once they understood the old hymn:
The roses grow in the valley where we meet the Jesus Child.
There they both sat, grown up and yet children, children at heart; and it was summer, warm delightful summer.”
When she finished, she closed the book and looked back up at him, but she didn’t speak. Vikram smiled at her, sincerely.
“It’s a beautiful ending.”
She smiled back at him. One of her soft smiles that often adorned her face when she thought the others weren’t looking. Under the watch of The Library, everything had a sense of ease and wonder.
“Yeah, well, back then I didn’t understand it,” she said. Her voice didn’t sound harsh. If anything it sounded almost bare. Comfortable. “I don’t think I wanted to. I mean, can you blame a child for prickling over hearing bible verses recited to them over and over again?...But, I guess she felt drawn to wanting to hold onto that childlike sense of whimsy. I see that now.”
Charlie laughed to herself. “Then, all I could focus on was how romantic it all seemed.”
“Charlie the Romantic?” Vikram teased. “Am I starting to sense a pattern?”
“ No .” She held up a hand in protest. “No pattern. I was ten, okay. There was a…girl at school and I would have done anything for her. Protect her from bullies, get her out of trouble, hold her when she cried over some family drama I can barely remember now. So, the idea of going to such extremes to get your friend back that you’d lost to circumstances outside of your control…I don’t know…maybe I didn’t have the words for that feeling back then, but that’s the only way I knew how to categorize it.”
If there was any time to let a moment linger, it was now. For a moment there was only silent understanding between them. There was no way to tell exactly what Charlie was thinking, as she sat there, letting her body be swallowed up by decadent cushions, but Vikram knew what thoughts were knocking at the base of his skull.
“No, I think that’s right,” he said, before he could let his mind wander. “I do suppose it is quite romantic, no matter the age.”
A pause, then. “After all, we fight for those we love.”
It was then he thought of Anya. What if he miscalculated when trying to get back to her? What if she’d forgotten about him? Or worse, what if her heart had somehow become hardened over with icy resentment towards him? Would he be able to win her back?
Would she still be his Anya?”
“Do you miss it?”
Charlie’s voice broke through his increasingly spiraling thoughts. “Home, I mean.”
“Don’t be silly, Charlie,” Vikram said, as nonchalantly as he could manage. “I am home. In this Annex, with all of you.”
It was a lie, but she wasn’t a stranger to those now, was she?
Vikram blinked and her lax body was straightening up again.
“Right, Sir.”
Charlie closed the book matter-of-factly and stood. At this angle, with Vikram still leaning against the chair’s headrest, she towered over him. It would be an intimidating sight for a lesser man. And he’d like to think that he was not.
“I think I’d better get going. Get dressed before the others get up.”
Her voice was curt. Stern, even if she tried to hide it under a guise of brevity. What was it that Connor had said the other day? Something about old habits?
Perhaps it was true for the both of them. Vikram thought as he watched Charlie turn and walk towards a bookshelf in the distance.
Suddenly, she stopped as if pondering over something, before turning to come back his way.
Vikram didn’t speak, didn’t even try for a joke, just waited for whatever it was she was about to say.
“Here.”
With both hands, Charlie held the book out towards him. Its title, Hans Christian Andersen: Fairy Tales and Stories , gleamed up at him in a dazzling gold.
“There’s some good stuff in here that you missed while stuck in that time bubble.”
“I’m sure there is.”
It was the first thing to come out of his mouth. She was already walking away as soon as the behemoth of a thing was out of her grip, but Vikram regarded her nonetheless.
“Thank you.”