Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a slow night, all the kids were gathered around a TV, arguing on what to watch. Crow sat in the kitchen alone, watching them from a distance with a smile.

Azazel threw a cup at the TV, Dogma luckily sliced it in half with their wing before it hit. Cain screamed that it was his cup. It wasn’t. It was Crow’s.

She felt a tug on her sleeve, and quickly looked down to see Isaac.

   “What is it, baby?” She asked quietly.

Isaac looked at her, then back at his siblings, then at her, “Lilith says you didn’t give birth to any of us because she says she knows how birth works.”

Crow sighed, “We went over this, I adopted all of you.” she looked over at Lilith, who was slowly pulling the popcorn bowl away from Maggy, “Also, don’t trust Lilith on birth. I don’t know how she does that.”

Isaac didn’t seem to like that answer, “So did my old mom give birth to me?”

  “I would expect so, love.” Crow nodded, patting his head.

He frowned, looked down, “I like you better than her. She yelled at me a lot and said I was a bad person. The TV God told her to kill me.”

Dogma stared at them from a distance, shaking their head at Crow before continuing to kick the twins with everyone else.

Crow narrowed her eyes at them in confusion, then looked back at Isaac, who was now sitting on the table, “Uhm… Well thank you.”

He grabbed at her coffee, which she gently pulled away, “You won’t like it.”

Isaac frowned, but refrained from trying again, “Did you adopt everyone else?”

Crow, who didn’t want to explain to a child that absolutely none of them looked related to her, simply nodded, “Mhm.”

   “Did we all come from a basement?” He grabbed the salt shaker and was shaking salt into her coffee. Crow just let it happen.

   “Most of you.” She took another sip of the coffee, it really wasn’t bad compared to the time Azazel coughed blood into it.

Isaac hesitated with his next question, “Did you… want all of us?”

Crow set her coffee down, pulling him into her lap, “Let me tell you a story, baby.”

Isaac looked happy to listen, leaning against her and staring at her like she was about to explain the creation of the universe.

  “Once upon a time…”

Chapter Text

Crow didn’t know why she was here. Well, she did.

  “Stupid rumors, probably not even true…” she muttered to herself, brushing her pants of even more dust.

She looked down at her phone, a post from some neighborhood article stating that a bunch of basements of old houses had secret tunnels connecting them.

Crow had never been in her basement due to fear of bugs , but the idea of exploring a bunch of other people's stuff was too tempting to ignore. She kicked a can out of the way, holding in the scream that threatened to escape her when a roach ran out and into a hole in the wall.

   “Been down here for like fifteen minutes, what do I find, nothing !” she complained to herself, careful to not kick anymore trash, “How big are basements even supposed to be!?”

She was about to turn around and write a bad review when she heard the soft sound of… crying. Young and torn, like a child had been crying for hours.

   “They sent me into a fucking haunted basement.” She crossed her arms. But something told her to look closer.

She followed the sound for a few minutes, rereading the post for any words of “haunted” or “possessed by a dead child”. At some point she looked up “Is FNAF real?”. She was getting desperate for an explanation that wouldn’t lead her to a real, living child.

   “I can’t comfort children ! I hate children!” she ran a hand through her hair but didn’t stop.

To her despair, the next room she walked into contained a real, living child. He was small, thin like he hadn’t eaten in days. The first thing she paid attention to was that he was bald.

The boy glanced at her, only looking more scared.

Crow looked back at the door, I can’t just leave him. Something inside her wanted to help this child, or at least make him stop crying.

She put on her best trustable adult face, taking a step closer and sitting down on the dirty floor to be on his level, “Hello there…”

The boy looked straight at her again, sniffling and wiping his tears. He didn’t respond, Crow couldn’t exactly blame him. She looked like someone who sold children for weed.

   “I’m Crow,” She nodded and put a hand to her chest, “Who are you?”

The boy wiped his tears again, “... Isaac ” he said in a broken voice.

   “Isaac…” she repeated, committing the name to memory. They watched each other in silence as Crow thought of another thing to ask.

She went with the most obvious thing, “Why are you down here, Isaac?”

He broke out in sobs, making Crow tempted to go over and wipe his tears for him, but she wasn’t sure if that would scare him more. So she sat and let him cry, hoping he would eventually answer.

   “My- My mommy tried to-” he let out another sob, “She tried to stab me with a- a big knife!”

Crow froze in shock, What kind of monster tries to stab a little boy? She already wanted to find the bitch and stomp her throat.

But anger wouldn’t do anything for a scared boy. Crow looked around like the walls would tell her answer. Isaac only seemed to be crying louder, curling up on the floor.

Crow felt her heart break, and before she could think, she walked over and grabbed him, pulling him into her arms and holding him.

This makes kids feel better, right? Am I traumatizing him worse?

He stared up at her like she would attempt to stab him next, but once he saw Crow’s sympathy filled eyes, he pushed his head into her shoulder and continued to cry.

Crow rubbed his head, deciding to take him back to her house in case the crazy bitch that was his mom came looking for her son. She traced her path back through the basement, and as she was close to the steps back up, Isaac had calmed down considerably.

   “You’re nicer than my mommy…” he whispered to her like a secret.

Crow held him tighter, thinking for a long while.

   “You don’t have to go back with her, y’know.” she whispered back.

I can take him to an adoption center or something. Yeah, he’ll be gone by tomorrow, just take care of him for tonight, and I’ll take him in the morning.

Isaac looked at her with big eyes, “Are you gonna be my new mommy?”

Fuckkkkkkk .

Chapter Text

Crow stared at the selection of Monster in front of her like she was the sole decider of the election. Mmmmm… pink or pink?

In her basket was five other different flavors of Monster, a candy bar, and applesauce for her newly adopted son, Isaac.

Crow felt frustrated at herself, putting three cans of pink Monster in her basket. I’ve gotta hurry, how long can you leave kids in a house alone?

She felt someone pull at her pant leg, she looked down to see a young girl with curly blonde hair, she had her hands folded politely.

   “Miss, can you grab that for me?” she pointed at a bottle of iced tea in the next fridge.

Crow didn’t think too hard about it, just opened the fridge and handed the bottle to the girl, “There you go, kid.” she said, already debating if her budget could fit one more Monster on top of whatever a child needed to live.

The girl however, didn’t seem done, grabbing Crow’s sleeve and pulling her with surprising strength, “Can you also get those chips for me?”

Crow decided to follow, reasoning that it would be quicker to just help the girl. She grabbed the chips the girl pointed to, handing them to her. Her small hands were already full.

Crow sighed, holding her basket to her, “Want to put them in here?”

The girl dropped them in, beaming, “I’m Magdalene!”

Crow smiled, her happiness was infectious, “That’s cool. I’m Crow.”

Magdalene didn’t seem to be done even with a large tea and full bag of chips, she started walking away, glancing at Crow like she expected the woman to follow.

Crow did, this girl was just too cute to not help.

She didn’t know how much time it had been before she looked at her cart, which was now overrun with the girls stuff. She decided it was enough when Magdalene pointed to a hotdog, “And that one too!”

Crow cleared her throat to get her attention, “Uhm… Where are your parents?”

The girl stared at Crow and tilted her head, before lighting up, “Oh! My mom said I was too fat and didn’t let me eat dinner so I went here to get food!”

Crow’s face fell into concern, both for the girl and her money.

   “I can’t…” her voice grew quiet as she looked into Magdalene’s hopeful sweet eyes.

Crow sighed and grabbed the girls hand. Magdalene looked overjoyed and squeezed Crow’s hand to the point it hurt a bit.

Nothing a few extra hours at work won’t fix.

She walked to the counter, Magdalene now happily yapping about her home life, much to Crow’s despair.

   “My dad always says I eat too much for a girl, but he also says that girls shouldn’t have rights so I don’t listen to him that much.” she explained with smile, “But you don’t think I’m too fat, right, Miss Crow?”

Crow shook her head, “No, I think you’re pretty good.”

   “See! I’m gonna tell my dad you said that. He might not let me eat again but that’s okay! Because you agree with me!” Magdalene cheered.

Crow sighed deeply, feeling bad for the girl.

   “Do you have any other family that doesn’t think that way?” She asked hopefully.

Magdalene shook her head, “No, they all call me fat.”

Crow stared at her, trying to find any hint of a lie.

   “Sometimes I don’t eat when I gain too much weight.” Magdalene smiled.

FUCK.

Crow grabbed all the bags, holding the girls hand, “You wanna come home with me?”

   “YAY! NEW MOM!”

Chapter Text

Crow had gone back into the basement, hoping to seal the door that connected her basement to Isaac’s.

    ”Old mom said God hated me and threw the remote at me”

She remembered the words and immediately promised to herself that his mother would never get to him again.

He’ll be fine with Magdalene. She reasoned to herself.

She reached into her back pocket for her phone, only to not feel it. I know I didn’t forget my phone, maybe this place is haunted. But she knew better at this point.

She heard a soft giggle from behind a few rocks. She didn’t want the culprit to run off if she got close, so she took a step to block the only door.

   “Whoever you are, come out now and give me my phone back .” she watched the room for any movement.

There was silence for a few more seconds, before a dramatic sigh came behind a rock, along with a boy appearing. Crow noted he had an eyepatch.

   “ Ugh… How long are you going to guard that door for!?” He complained, “It’s been an hour !”

Crow didn’t correct him that it had been two minutes. Instead she leaned against the door, observing him.

   “Till you give my phone back, kid.” she pointed at the bag he held.

He stared at her for a bit before shaking his head, “No way! Finders keepers.”

Crow rolled her eyes, “Then I guess we’re both stuck here.”

The boy made a noise of frustration and stomped his foot, “No FAIR !!” he whined, “I found it so it’s mine!” 

When Crow just stood there, he changed his strategy, “If you let me keep it, I’ll give you… two phones back tomorrow!”

Crow indulged, “Really? How will you do that?”

He seemed confident his plan was working, “Simple! I’ll gamble!”

Child gambling… why didn’t I think of that?

   “How can I trust you won’t lose it all?” she tilted her head.

The boy paused, staring at her with wide eyes, “Well… uhm…” he coughed, “Well I come from a long line of gamblers! My parents taught me everything they knew before leaving me down here!”

Crow sighed deeply, “And… when will they come back?”

  “When they get back from the casino!” he responded with a smug smile.

Crow looked at his bag, then reached into her pocket, pulling out a dollar that Isaac found out of her wallet as a “gift” for her. She didn’t want to explain to him how wallets worked so she just took it.

She held it out to the boy, “If you give me my phone back, I’ll give you this.”

The boy eyed the dollar curiously, taking a few steps closer. Soon he was in front of Crow, shuffling to inspect every inch of it.

And just as Crow expected, he tried to snatch it out of her hands. She pulled it away and held it higher than he could reach, then shook her head disapprovingly, “Phone first.”

He scoffed but set his bag down, reaching in and pulling out her phone. He handed it to her, and the second Crow took it back, she held the dollar to him, which he grabbed and stuffed into his bag.

Crow hummed, “You got a lot of money in there?”

The boy nodded, “Yup. I’m planning to give it all to my parents, so maybe they can have enough money to stay at home with me more!”

But you’re not going to see your parents…

Crow reached out to him, the boy immediately stood in front of his bag defensively, but froze when Crow put her hand to his cheek.

   “Well, you won’t find your parents hanging out down here.” she said, ignoring her reluctance, she couldn’t let another kid hold onto the hope their parents were good.

The boy looked at her with sadness. He knows.

Crow breathed in and out deeply, “Come up with me, I’ll help you find them.” she promised. The boy nodded, holding his bag close as he followed behind her.

   “I’m Cain…” he mumbled, so quietly Crow wasn’t sure he really said it.

   “I’m Crow.” she responded.

Cain huffed, “Dumb name.”

Chapter Text

Crow was just walking, just looking, she’d said. No sane mother of three just looks at a too expensive gym membership.

Its nothing, I probably don’t have time for it anyways!

But then she walked up the steps.

I’m a college dropout, It’s either strong or smart, and I still can’t multiply by nine.

She ran her hand over the glass like a cat pawing at its cage. She sighed, ready to turn around when a voice called to her.

   “Ma’am!”

Crow looked over to see a young boy, he had long brown hair and a red headband. She internally prayed this kid wasn’t abused.

   “What do you need, kid?” she asked, hoping to be done with this so she could go waste her money on something else.

He pointed at the door, “Do you work here? Are you a member? Can you get me in?”

Crow had one answer to all those questions: “No.”

The boy huffed, shaking his head like a disappointed parent, “Sad, the last man I asked to let me in called me too soft for the gym,” he gained a look of insecurity that Crow saw in herself sometimes, “You don’t think I’m too soft, right, ma’am?”

Before Crow could respond, he added, “I’m not too girly , right?”

Crow shook her head, “Well… no. But it isn’t bad to be girly , you know.”

The boy grunted in disagreement, “Well, I want to be strong , like a man .” He flipped his hair, “Can’t do that by being girly, ma’am.”

Crow laughed a bit, “I have a daughter who would disagree with you.”

The boy looked back at the gym, “Well, I’m not a girl, ma’am.”

  “Never said you were.” Crow responded softly, following his gaze, “What’s your name, kid?”

   “Samson, ma’am.” He said proudly, flexing his muscles. Crow found it quite adorable.

She laughed softly, making Samson frown, “You don’t have to call me that, I’m Crow.”

Samson put a hand to his chest, “It’s disrespectful for me to call you by your first name, ma’am.”

   “You're very sweet, young man.” Crow cooed.

Samson looked away quickly, “Thank you, but- but I’m not sweet, I’m strong !”

Crow didn’t question it, “Okay, you’re a very strong young man. Though men can be sweet too.”

The boy shook his head again, “I’m not that girly,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, no longer making eye contact.

Crow realized what could be happening, and forced herself to ask the question to confirm it.

  “Where are your parents, Samson?” she asked gently.

Samson’s eyes widened, “Oh… They’re at home.”

Crow sighed, “Would you mind telling me why you’re out here without them?”

Samson took a step back, “They said…” his voice trailed off.

Crow sat down on the warm concrete, hoping that would help.

It took Samson a few more seconds to continue, “They said I can’t come home unless…” he breathed in deeply, “Unless I was their… daughter again.”

Crow sat up straighter. She knew what this kid needed, even if her bank and promises to herself wouldn’t like it.

   “Well, I think you should choose to be happy instead,” she said softly.

When Samson didn’t respond, she smiled, “I may not be able to get you into this gym, but I have some boys at home who’d love to help you work out.”

Samson perked up, “Really, ma’am?”

Crow nodded. I’m sure once he gets there, he won’t mind playing with Maggy instead.

Chapter Text

Crow didn’t know why she tried to go outside anymore. She had entrusted Samson to watch his siblings while she went out to Walmart. Just a simple trip.

It all started when she was comparing pea prices. Stomping, the sound of stuff being thrown on the floor, the angry noises of a little kid.

She couldn’t help the draw she felt to it, it was natural by now, she heard a kid cry, she needed to investigate, and as experience proved, adopt them.

So she sighed, set the bigger bag of peas into her basket and walked over to the next aisle. She saw a boy, alone, throwing Bibles on the floor and kicking them.

He noticed her and stared, then seemed to get angrier that she was there.

   “Kid… What are you doing ?” she asked tiredly.

The boy stomped closer in a way that Crow was pretty sure was meant to be threatening, “I’m destroying Bibles because God hates me .”

Now, Crow wasn’t religious. She knew nothing about religion, not even sunday school, not one church visit. She only knew what… concerning things Isaac told her.

   “Why do you think he hates you?” she tilted her head, trying to understand herself.

The boy stuttered, then threw his hat onto the floor, “Because- Because I’m bad!”

Crow thought for a bit, trying to scrounge up whatever she knew about God, while the boy picked up his hat and dusted it off.

   “You don’t look bad.” she said simply.

The kid shook his head, “Nuh uh! I’m… I’m awful! I’m named after the traitor!”

When Crow didn’t say anything, the boy huffed, “Judas!”

   “Well, Judas, what bad things have you done?” She crossed her arms.

Judas paused, and didn’t speak long enough for Crow to finally say something else.

   “If you can’t think of anything, I don’t see why you’re that bad.”

Judas stomped his foot again, “Well… Well I’m knocking down all these Bibles! That’s bad! See, I’m a bad person!”

Crow let out a deep breath, “Kid, are you trying to be bad?”

Judas paused again, before quickly shaking his head, “...No.”

Crow leaned down and grabbed him, picking him up and inspecting him. Judas fell blank like a kitten being held by its mother.

Crow shook him a bit, not the best idea, but Samson always liked it. Judas still didn’t respond, staring ahead to the point Crow was worried he passed out.

She gently placed him down, to which he just stared at her.

   “Kid, are you okay?” she asked in concern.

Judas seemed to regain life in his eyes, “Uh, yeah.”

  “Then why are you acting like someone drugged you?”

Judas tilted his head in confusion but responded anyways, his voice small, “What if I’m not evil?”

Crow pat his head, well, his hat, “I think that’s a good thing.”

Judas hugged himself, looking around paranoidly, “But then… then I’m no one.”

Okay… this kid has problems.

   “No you’re not, you’re Judas.” Crow responded, almost boredly.

The boy still didn’t seem to budge, “But if I’m not evil Judas, who am I?”

Crow smiled and pat his hat again, “The angry little boy I found in Walmart.”

Judas smiled back, then immediately covered it up, “I’m going to burn down a church.” he said confidently.

Crow rolled her eyes, still smiling, “Okay… How about we do something else?”

She held out her hand, Judas didn’t take it, “I’m only going with you to find out you’re secrets so I can betray you.”

Crow just nodded, “Okay, baby.”

Chapter Text

Crow was back in the basement, again. Isaac had a nightmare about his original mom coming to kill him in the middle of the night, so Crow promised she would finally seal that door.

This time though, in a mix of tiredness from taking care of five children, and not having been here for a few months, she got lost.

It seemed to be… a home? It was a room, but it was decorated in black, even with a bed made out of torn cloth and blankets.

Before Crow could walk out of there, she felt a bite on her leg.

   “OW!” She yelped, kicking her leg and throwing whatever was on it off.

She looked to see a little… demon hit the wall with a thud, groaning as he fell to the floor. One of his horns was missing, and Crow prayed she wasn’t the cause of that.

It took a few seconds for her panic to set in.

THAT’S A FUCKING DEMON! HOLY SHIT! Is God fucking real. It’s over. I’m getting my soul taken by a five year old demon.

The demon instead, pushed himself up and pointed at her accusingly, “Why are you in my room!?”

Before Crow could make up an explanation that wasn’t “I got lost”, knowing any five year old wouldn’t take that as a answer, the demon leaned over and coughed out blood. Something Crow also prayed she wasn’t the cause of.

  “I’m uh… I’m Crow.” She said, hoping introducing herself would work instead.

It did, and the demon stood proudly, “I’m Azazel! Coolest demon ever !”

Crow nodded, “Is this your home?” she gestured around.

Azazel scoffed, “Obviously.” he answered her next question before she could ask, “I live alone because I’m too cool to have parents!”

  “Do you have parents though?” she asked.

Azazel walked over and flopped down onto his bed, “Used to, but then I went to live on my own! They haven’t even noticed I’m gone, so I get all my time to myself!”

Crow felt her eyes widen, feeling the familiar sympathy creep in.

   “How long have you been living alone?” she walked over to his bed, he frowned at her, a silent warning to not sit with him.

He coughed blood again, wiping his mouth, “Like two months. Pretty hard to find food, but I’m like the best hunter ever!”

Crow opted to lean against the wall, “So you’re fine with being alone?”

Azazel stared at her like she was stupid, “Of course I am! Being alone is awesome !”

Something in Crow snapped, something maternal, something that brought up her past self, something only a mother could understand. She got on her knees and pulled Azazel into a hug.

Azazel didn’t respond kindly, instead yelling, and consequently, coughing, “HEY! LET- LET ME GO!”

Crow stayed there, staring at his wings with a temptation to pull on them just to see how it would feel.

Azazel then whined, “NOOOOO!! THIS ISN’T FAIR!!!” but he didn’t fight.

Crow pulled away, looking at him closely, “I’ll leave you alone now, kid.”

Azazel practically jumped away, “Good! Leave! You freak!”

Crow left his room, ignoring Azazel calling her a bunch of other bad things. She finally got to seal off that door.

When she went back up to her house, she heard it.

   “You’re a real demon ?” Judas asked with awe.

   “Yeah, I know, super cool.”

  “I bet I can beat you in a fight!” Samson challenged.

Crow saw Azazel with her other children huddled around him. She didn’t speak, but spared him a smile as she passed.

Azazel stuck his tongue out at her, then coughed out blood.

Chapter Text

Crow has decided her attic was a nice change. Maybe it was irony, maybe she was hoping she’d find a normal kid up there. She really just needed an excuse to clean it out that didn’t make her feel like an adult.

As fate would have it, someone was already there.

She didn’t notice at first, absentmindedly listening to the down stairs chatter. Azazel was fighting with Maggy over which Sonic character could beat Jesus, she silently agreed that Shadow probably could.

She grabbed a box and moved it out of the way, revealing… a baby blanket?

Then a soft and scared voice, “Who’s here!?”

Crow looked over to see a young girl. A demon girl.

Two in a row, just my luck.

The first thing she noticed was the bandages around her eyes, making Crow rethink every response she usually had.

   “Shh, shh,” she put a finger to her mouth like that would help, “I’m not here to hurt you.”

The girl held something closer to her chest, “How do I know that’s true?” she hissed.

Defensive… 

   “This is my attic… I’m just here to clean it out.” Crow explained.

The girl shook her head, grabbing something from the air and pulling it closer. Crow had to narrow her eyes to see the two small demon babies. They didn’t seem to have limbs, just horns and wings.

She’s a mother too…

Crow put her hands to her chest, trying to change her thoughts. How would she act if someone came in her house with no regard for her children?

   “You have very cute kids.” She scooted closer quietly.

The girl visibly relaxed, “Thank you…” she cleared her throat, “They’re named Miku and Lilith 2.”

Crow deduced that the girls name was Lilith, “Miku? Like the virtual singer?”

Lilith tilted her head, “The what?”

  “Uh… nevermind.” Crow sat criss cross.

Lilith thankfully decided to continue the conversation, “I know you have kids, I hear them all the time. Are you making more?”

Crow looked away, “Adopting them.” she corrected, “No offense… but aren’t you a bit young to have… children?”

Lilith looked confused, “Well it’s not that hard.”

Before Crow could worry about that, Lilith put her babies down, “Watch.”

Crow wasn’t sure she wanted to watch, but didn’t look away.

Lilith hummed to herself, “I just have to think about having a baby real hard and…” she hummed harder. A baby popped into existence right next to her.

Crow stared. This is a fucking dream

  “I’ll name this one after you!” she said, grabbing the baby, “Uhm… what’s your name again?”

  “Crow.”

Lilith smiled, “Okay! I’ll name her… Feather!”

Crow couldn’t help but feel proud that a demon baby was named after her. She liked this girl, she was funny.

   “Hey, if you ever wanna come down and meet my kids, I’m sure they’d love it.” she invited.

Lilith placed Feather next to her other kids. Miku bit her.

   “Maybe… After I make sure Feather won’t explode like Toast did.”

Crow nodded like that made absolute sense.

   “I’ll see you later kid.” she said, standing up and waving, then realizing the girl couldn’t see it.

Lilith waved back, “Bye, mom!”

Crow sighed internally. This one wasn’t even traumatized. How does this keep happening.

Lilith would later tell her that her mom abandoned her at Planned Parenthood. Crow would just go “Uh huh” and make her a sandwich.

Chapter Text

Crow didn’t know why she was here.

Back in the basement, maybe just to check if any more kids were left behind.

Now she was in a room with a very loud angel.

  “AND GOD SAID, DONATE FIVE DOLLARS TO SAVE YOUR SOUL!” It hadn’t noticed her yet, much to her joy.

Crow didn’t know what caught her interest; this angel was cute. Small, with short little legs and wings almost as big as their ego.

She snuck up behind them, smiling to herself. Then, with quick hands, she grabbed them by the waist and cradled them against her chest.

The angel reacted immediately, “WHAT THE FUCK?? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?? LET ME GO, YOU FUCKING HEATHEN!!” they yelled, flapping their wings desperately.

They didn’t weigh much, only about two pounds, if Crow had to guess.

  “FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LET ME GO BITCH!!” They hissed, a loud static filling the room.

Crow walked out of the room while the angel stared desperately at their TV.

   “LET ME GO!! YOU FUCKING CUNT ARE YOU STUPID? LET ME THE FUCK GO OR ILL SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT!”

She walked through the basement, ignoring the angel's increasingly violent words.

   “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! I WILL DROWN YOU IN STATIC YOU STUPID FUCKING SINNER! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR DISGRACING A HOLY BEING SUCH AS MYSELF!”

Crow laughed, “Sure, baby.”

  “WHAT!??? BABY?? I AM DOGMA, ANGEL OF THE TV, FOLLOWER OF THE LORD! ARE YOU DEAF? BLIND? BOTH?”

Crow walked up the stairs, garnering confused looks from her children as she walked to the living room, Dogma still screaming.

  “LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME-”

Crow threw them into the TV.

Child gained.

Chapter Text

Crow was tired. The soft static from her TV had finally stopped buzzing, signaling Dogma finally went to sleep. It was 1am.

She groaned to herself, leaning on her side to drink stale water, spilling droplets onto the bed. She sighed deeply.

Then she saw it, them , out of the corner of her eye.

She looked at the foot of her bed. There were two boys standing there. One of them was… red.

   “Hi mom!” They said in unison.

   “What…?” Crow said in confusion.

The two boys wasted no time crawling into her bed.

   “We heard from a demon you adopted people so now you adopted us.” The not red one said.

Crow sighed. Why do I let Azazel speak to people…

But, she’d dealt with more tiring nights. Like when Dogma ate Lilith’s baby and refused to throw it up unless Cain “stopped being gay” whatever that meant. Crow learned that night that Cain was gay. She was still concerned about how Dogma knew??

Crow pat the normal ones head, “Why do you want me to adopt you?” she yawned.

The red one looked jealous, “Because our parents like Jacob more…” he said sadly.

Jacob nodded, “I think Esau is the same amount of cool as me.”

Crow just went, “Oh.”

  “Anyways,” Jacob continued, “Including us, we should each get about ten percent of your love!” he smiled, nudging his twin, “See, equal!”

Crow looked between the two, “How about… I love you both one hundred percent?”

Esau’s jaw dropped in awe, “You can do that?”

Crow nodded, yawning again, “Mhm, I do it for all my children.”

The boys smiled at each other, “We found a new mom!” Esau said happily.

Crow didn’t have time to speak before they crawled under the covers, clinging onto her from different sides.

Crow just let out her breath, kissed their foreheads, and passed out.

Chapter Text

   “So… you did want all of us.” Isaac said with wonder.

Crow nodded, hugging him, “Of course I did, baby. You’re all the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Isaac giggled, “You’re the best too, mom.”

Maggy ran into the kitchen holding the bowl, “LILITH ATE ALL THE POPCORN!”

  “NO I DIDN'T! MAGGY’S BEING ABLEIST!” Lilith called from the couch.

Dogma flew into the kitchen right after, “I CAN CONFIRM, MAGGY HATES DISABLED PEOPLE.”

  “No I don’t! Mom, tell Dogma to stop taking Lilith’s side all the time!” Maggy pointed at them.

Crow looked at Dogma, “Dogma, stop being biased.”

Dogma hissed, swooped down, and ate her cup of coffee.

  “Hey! That was my coffee!” Cain shouted.

Azazel pushed him, “Nuh uh! I know that because mom says we can’t have coffee!”

Judas looked up from his satanic Bible, “Mom just says that because you can’t have coffee.”

Samson stepped in from nowhere, “Don’t lie! Mom denies all of us coffee!”

Judas scoffed, “Maybe she doesn’t let you have coffee either.”

Crow sighed, but a soft smile appeared on her face, “I fucking love you kids.”

Isaac gasped. Maggy whined, “Mom said a bad word!”

  “CRUCIFIXION!” Dogma screamed. Everyone nodded in agreement.