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Megan loves Hawaii. It’s where she grew up, after all.
The beaches she used to go to as a kid. How easy it is to tan because of the sun. All the people she’s known since she was a child. The food, which is more addicting than anything else she’s tried before. Her childhood home that brings back a slew of good memories.
You’d think Megan would’ve been excited when she found out her family was moving back. Thing is, the circumstances weren’t exactly ideal–her grandmother’s health declining isn’t a good thing. That’s not the reason she was against moving back, though.
Daniela.
When Megan was thirteen, she moved to Los Angeles. When Megan was sixteen, she met Daniela at a local dance competition. When Megan was seventeen, she fell in love. Their relationship has been steady, strong since the beginning and there’s no denying the two are soulmates.
And that’s why Megan didn’t want to go back to Hawaii.
Hawaii is her home, of course it is, but only in the literal sense. To her, home is a person and that person is Daniela. Who she’s over two-thousand miles away from. Her person. The love of her life.
It’s been only three months and Megan already feels like she’s drowning. For the last two years Daniela and Megan barely went a few days without seeing each other. They used to live so close–fifteen minutes away–and no matter what they’d find time for each other. When Megan got out of work late she’d stay the night at Daniela’s. When Daniela had to spend all day practicing a dance routine Megan would visit her during lunch. Holiday’s, birthdays, that pool party Manon hosted in the rain, it didn’t matter. Daniela and Megan would be together.
When Megan wakes up she has a pit in her stomach which definitely shouldn’t be there. Today is her birthday–officially twenty. A big deal, really. Her family is hosting her a party, everyone from her childhood is going to be there and the weather is amazing. There’s going to be all of Megan’s favorite foods and an extremely expensive cake, no doubt because her mother feels bad. How great the party is doesn’t matter, though, because Daniela won’t be there.
Megan checks the time; a little past ten. Under most circumstances she’d be annoyed at how late she slept in but it’s her birthday. Who doesn’t sleep in on their birthday?
Expecting a good morning text from Daniela, Megan picks her phone up. Most of her birthday messages came in last night at twelve, almost all from her friends back in LA. Lara, Manon, Sophia, Yoonchae. She has a few texts now, but none of them from Daniela.
Confused, Megan sits up. There hasn’t been a day in years Daniela hasn’t messaged her good morning. Daniela always wakes up before Megan so it’s become their routine.
She clicks on Daniela’s contact, only seeing her message from last night.
“Happy birthday, beautiful! I miss you so much, you can’t even begin to imagine. I know things have been rough but we’ll figure it out, okay? Can’t believe you’re twenty. Now you can’t make jokes about me dating a teenager anymore haha! Loser! I love love love love you! I can’t wait to hold you and kiss you and just be with my favorite person again. Again, I love you and miss you baby. Sweetheart, honey, my love, hugs kisses xoxo :)”
Megan frowns. She of course responded to Daniela’s message when she first received it, resulting in Daniela asking to FaceTime. Megan was too sad, though, so she declined, saying she was tired. Now she’s wondering if she should’ve said yes considering Daniela is–maybe–ignoring her.
No, no, Daniela wouldn’t do that. Especially not on Megan’s birthday. Their relationship has always centered around communication. Maybe she slept in just like Megan. They’re practically connected, after all. Maybe they’re both sad, dealing with the weight of their first birthday without the other.
So Megan heads downstairs, spotting her mom in the kitchen. When her mom looks up she smiles and says, “happy birthday, sweetie!”
Megan forces a smile. “Thank you.”
“Why are you still in your pajamas?” She asks. “We’re going to lunch, remember? Your favorite restaurant!”
Right. Megan forgot. “Yeah, sorry–I’ll get dressed right now.” Without another word she heads back upstairs.
After brushing her teeth and everything she has a hard time picking out an outfit, Daniela on her mind. She wants to wear something Daniela would like. Something cute, or maybe something sexy? No, no–she can’t do that. She’s going out with her family for fucks sake. Maybe she could send a photo, though. Something scandalous, something–
She stops herself. What is she doing? Daniela isn’t even here and it’s not even her birthday. It’s Megan’s. If anyone should receive a sexy photo it should be Megan and…
…has Daniela texted her yet?
Megan glances at her phone once more–nothing. She sighs.
Fuck.
After picking out a rather friendly outfit, Megan makes sure to slide the promise ring on her finger before going back downstairs. She hangs out on the couch for a bit before she and her family head out for lunch. Once sat, Megan checks her phone again.
No Daniela.
She decides to text her herself.
“Good morning, baby, I love you. Are you awake? Haha I miss you.”
She stares at the text, waiting for the little read icon to appear. It doesn’t. Anxious, she begins to play with the ring on her finger.
“Everything alright?” Megan’s mom whispers, putting her hand to Megan’s arm.
Megan looks up from her phone. “Yeah, I guess,” she mumbles. “It’s just–Dani hasn’t texted me today.”
Her mom frowns, although she doesn’t seem too alarmed. “Do you think she slept in?”
“I don’t know.” It’s odd for Daniela to sleep in until ten, never mind twelve. Daniela would never ignore Megan although Megan wishes that was the case because the other option is way worse: something happened to her and Megan is stuck an ocean away.
“I’m sure she’s fine–try not to think about it. You’ll hear from her today, I promise.” Megan isn’t quite sure how her mom could promise something she has zero control over but she decides not to question it.
The rest of lunch is fine. Megan gets the same dish she used to get all the time when she was ten and it tastes just as good as before. While eating it, she concludes if Daniela ever visits she should take her here and have her try it.
Oh, Daniela. Does she even know how much Megan misses her? How on the one day a year where all attention is on Megan, all she can think about is her? If she’s comfortable, if she slept well, if she’s eaten. If she’s sad.
Please, for the love of god, don’t be sad. She of course is–Megan knows her girlfriend well. It only took about a week before she admitted via text at three in the morning that Megan’s absence was making her depressed. The mere thought of Daniela being in any sort of negative mood has Megan sick to her stomach, even if she feels the same way. Even if they’re going through the same thing. If she could, she’d take all of her pain away, even if it meant her own was doubled.
She misses her.
When Megan gets home she flops on her bed and texts Daniela again.
“I’m really worried, please just text me so I know you’re okay. I love you.”
Then she FaceTime's Manon, who always knows what Daniela is up to. They’re best friends, after all. She’d send Manon a text if she wasn’t so slow at replying.
When Manon answers she doesn’t seem alarmed at all. “Happy birthday, Megs!”
“Thanks,” Megan mumbles.
“What’s wrong?”
“Have you talked to Dani at all today?”
Manon shakes her head. “No, no. Why?” Alarms immediately go off in Megan’s head–Daniela and Manon speak every single day.
“You haven’t?” Megan asks, her eyes opening wide. “When, when did you last hear from her?”
“Uh.” Manon pauses. “Last night. We talked about you; Dani said she missed your face. You should send her a photo.” She smiles.
Megan is alarmed at how unalarmed Manon seems. “Manon this is, this is serious! Dani never blows me off; we text every day.”
“I think she’s just a little sad,” says Manon. “It’s been tough for her lately. Being without you.”
“You’re not worried?” Megan questions. “This isn’t like her at all. And it’s my birthday. She wouldn’t ignore me on my birthday.”
“She’s not ignoring you, Meg. I’m sure she’ll text you soon and if I hear from her I’ll let you know. Alright?”
Feeling rather frustrated, Megan mumbles an ‘alright’ back.
“Have the best birthday ever! I love you.”
“Love you too.” Megan hangs up, stuffing her face in her pillow and fighting the urge to scream. Why is no one taking this as seriously as it should be taken? If Megan was in California right now she’d already be searching for her girlfriend.
Feeling rather helpless, and knowing her party is starting soon, Megan does the only other thing she can think of and texts Lara, writing: “Have you heard from Dani?” Lara is her best friend and always takes Megan’s worries seriously. If there’s anyone who can help, it’s her.
It takes about five minutes before Lara responds. “Not today. Everything alright?”
Megan bites her lip, a pit in her stomach. “I haven’t heard from her :( I’m worried.”
Lara responds rather quickly this time. “You think something happened? I haven’t heard anything. Try to focus on your birthday, sweetheart. I’m sure Dani is okay.”
No, no. Daniela is not okay. Everything in Megan’s body is screaming at her that something is wrong.
Her anxiety begins to take over her and she gets up, pacing her room. Why is this happening on her birthday? Why is she stuck in Hawaii? Why can’t everything just be normal? Is she going to have to go through this again when their three year anniversary comes up? If they even do celebrate it. Who knows what’s going on with Daniela, where she–
She needs to stop worrying about this. It’s her birthday. She should be celebrating.
Daniela is her girlfriend, though.
She texts Lara back. “Please let me know if you hear from her.” Then, she puts her phone down and lets out a heavy sigh. Her eyes gravitate to her hand and to the promise ring Daniela gave her three months ago, right before she left for Hawaii.
When Megan saw it, she almost cried, the weight of everything crashing down on her. “I want you to know that even if we’re thousands of miles away from each other I’m still yours,” was what Daniela had said. So romantic, so thoughtful. Daniela has always been amazing with words. Megan, not so much. She wishes she said more when she left instead of clinging to Daniela like a child.
Especially now.
Trying to get her mind off of things she goes downstairs and insists on helping her mom set up her party. It isn’t too much work as they prepared everything earlier. Still, Megan likes helping. It reminds her of when she and her friends set up a surprise party for Yoonchae’s 18th birthday a few days before she left for Hawaii. It was only three months ago but it feels so far.
Ugh.
About an hour later people start to pile in, making comments about how fast she grew up and such. Some ask about Daniela which just brings Megan’s worries back. She tries her best to hide it. She’s not sure she’s doing a good job as people keep giving her concerned looks.
“How are you holding up?” One of her childhood friends asks. “Being so far away from her?”
Megan shrugs it off. “It’s hard but we’ll be alright. We love each other, so.” She ends her sentence with a smile. If they could get through high school together, they can get through anything. That is, if Daniela is even alive–
Stop it, Megan! She’s probably fine.
Right?
When it comes time for Megan to blow out her candles she quickly checks her phone in hopes Daniela texted her. Her heart lights up when she sees Daniela has. Thank god she’s alright. If something happened to her Megan would never be able to forgive herself, being thousands of miles away and all. She’s not sure she’d even be able to live without her soulmate. How could anybody?
When she reads Daniela’s text her relief is replaced with disappointment.
“Sorry! Phone was off. I’m alright <3”
Megan scoffs. That’s all? After all that worrying on her birthday Megan gets a lame excuse and a simple ‘I’m alright’? What has gotten into Daniela today? She was fine last night. She should know how easily Megan worries. Since when was she so passive about–
Her thoughts are interrupted by everyone singing happy birthday to her. When they’re done Megan hesitates.
“Make a wish,” her mother whispers.
She closes her eyes and wishes for Daniela to be with her. For them to just be able to be together. Then she blows out the candles and…
…someone kisses her on the cheek.
“What the h–” She turns around to be met face to face with a girl with dark curly hair and a huge smirk on her face. “Daniela?”
“Happy birthday, baby!” Daniela embraces her in a warm hug, so tight that Megan can’t even attempt to hug her back.
It takes her a while before she finally registers what’s happening. Daniela is here, in Hawaii, on Megan’s birthday, hugging her. When it finally hits her, Megan says, “oh my god, Dani!”
“Hi.” Daniela loosens her grip and almost immediately after Megan hugs her back.
Megan buries her face in Daniela’s shirt, taking in her familiar scent. “I didn’t–since when–how did you–”
“Surprise!” Daniela says with that cheeky smile of hers. “Tricked you, didn’t I?” No wonder everyone and their grandmother was recording–Megan just thought they were really excited she was turning twenty.
Without meaning to, Megan begins to cry. Nothing else matters at the moment. The cake, all the people watching, her turning twenty. All that counts is that Daniela is here with her. That they’re together. Finally.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” Daniela whispers, “because then I’ll cry, too. I missed you.”
“I missed you,” Megan cries. “I love you.”
“I love you so much.”
After their reunion they spend the rest of the party together. Eating cake, opening presents. Almost everyone crowded around Daniela, most having never met her before. It’s safe to say they all love her which is to be expected–Daniela is perfect. She’s especially perfect for Megan. How did she find such a perfect match so young?
When the party is done and over with the two go up to Megan’s room. “Aw, this your childhood bedroom?” Daniela asks.
“Yep.” Megan shuts the door behind her. “Childish, I know.” When they moved to LA her grandparents took over the house, leaving Megan’s room just like it was before. After her grandmother passes she’s not sure what will happen to it.
“I think it’s cute.” Daniela turns her attention to some film strips on the wall. She points to one of Megan from when she was young–maybe about eleven. “Little Megan! You were adorable.”
“Shut up,” Megan mumbles, trying to hide the smile on her lips.
“I wasn’t expecting to see myself here,” says Daniela, referring to the pictures of them that Megan put up.
“You thought I wouldn’t take you with me?” The second Megan arrived she put up photos of her and Daniela. The polaroid Lara took when they first started dating. The photo Daniela’s mom insisted on developing after Megan’s graduation so they could look back on it. The cheesy stick-figure drawing Yoonchae made them for their second anniversary. Surprisingly, she captured their essence well.
“I don’t know,” is Daniela’s reply. She then falls down on Megan’s bed, opening her arms. “Hug? I miss your body. In a cuddly way.”
Megan chuckles. “Not in a sexual way?”
“Maybe both. We can get to that later.”
Megan falls into Daniela, Daniela screaming a bit. Now on top of her, Daniela wraps her arms around Megan with just as much love as before she moved, maybe even more. They kiss and then Megan rests her head on her chest, clinging to her shirt and making sure their legs are tangled together.
Daniela begins to play with Megan’s hair and Megan feels a sense of calm she hasn’t felt in months. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” Megan whispers.
“Same.” Daniela chuckles, planting a quick kiss on the top of Megan’s head.
“I was so worried about you,” Megan admits. “I thought something bad happened and nobody was taking me seriously.”
“Sorry about that–I really wanted to surprise you.”
“Guess you did. Still a little annoyed, though.”
“Is my presence not enough for you to forgive me?”
Of course it’s enough. Megan looks up and kisses Daniela on the chin. “How long are you going to be here for?”
“I don’t know.” She takes a deep breath out. “At least a month, if you don’t mind. Everyone at the studio understands.”
“A month?” Megan’s eyes widen–she was expecting a week, maybe a few days. Life doesn’t feel real at the moment. “Of course I don’t mind! Fuck, I love you, Dani. I hate being away from you.”
“Fuck, I love you, Meg,” Daniela copies. “Me too. I didn’t know how much longer I could take.”
Megan does her best to hug Daniela back; Daniela helps her out by sitting up briefly. It’s impressive how easily she can maneuver when she has a whole person laying on top of her. She’s always been stronger than Megan. As Megan thinks, dread fills her when she imagines Daniela leaving, them being apart again. It’s a sort of fear she never knew possible. “Please don’t leave me again. I need you,” she admits.
Daniela swallows hard. “I need you, too. I need you so much.”
Despite not wanting to, Megan begins to cry again, softly. “I can’t do this anymore,” she says, “I can’t be without you. I hate it, I hate it so much.”
Daniela lets go of her, bringing her hands to Megan’s face. She lifts her head up and when Megan sees the tears in her eyes, it breaks her. “I’m so sad without you,” Daniela whispers.
“I hate that,” Megan says. “I hate knowing you’re hurting. I don’t want you to be struggling as much as I am.”
“It’s okay.” Daniela forces a smile. “It means we love each other.”
“I’m so sorry I had to move.” She sniffles. “I miss everyone. I miss Lara and Manon and Yoonchae and Sophia and the studio and just everything.”
“They miss you too, we all do.” She lets Megan lay her head back down, wrapping her arms around her once more. “It’s not your fault; we’ll figure it out. Promise. I’ll stay as long as I can and we’ll find a way for you to visit.”
“I don’t want to leave my parents to deal with all this themselves.”
“They’ll understand, sweetheart. They love you. They were surprised when you came with them, remember?”
Megan does; of course she does. When she told her father she was planning on joining them in Hawaii, his exact words were, “really? What about Daniela?” At the time, Megan thought she was doing the right thing. Thinking of her parents. Her grandmother. All the people from her childhood. But now? She’s not sure how much longer she can be away from her favorite person. Her friends. Everything she grew to love.
She runs her hands up and down Daniela’s arm. “I don’t know where I’d live.”
“Meg, come on.” Daniela pokes her in the side of her stomach, causing Megan to flinch a bit. “You can stay with me, in my room.”
“But your parents–”
“You think they’d care?” She laughs. “They love you! You’re practically a second daughter to them.”
“I just don’t want to bother them. It’s not their fault we had to move back.”
“It’s not yours, either, and I love you. I just want you to be happy, me to be happy. We need each other. We’ve been together for over two years.”
Megan thinks for a brief moment–Daniela is right. They can’t continue on like this, without each other. It’s eating both of them up and it’s obvious. So, she says, “okay. Maybe we can figure something out.”
The two kiss and after, Daniela grabs Megan’s hand and their fingers intertwine. “You’re wearing the ring.”
“Of course I am.”
“That’s what I was hoping.” Daniela smiles. “Everything will be alright.”
“Everything will be alright,” Megan copies.
“And when we get married we can laugh about this and joke about how depressed we both were.”
For the first time in what seems like forever, Megan laughs. “Everyone will think we’re so dramatic.”
Daniela shrugs. “We’re just in love.” She lets out a content sigh. “I missed your laugh, by the way. It’s cute, like you.”
“Oh my god, stop!” Megan whines. “We’re so cheesy.”
“We haven’t seen each other in three months, it’d be a crime for us not be super fucking cheesy.”
Megan smiles but doesn’t respond, wanting to enjoy the warmth of Daniela’s embrace. It’s been so long since they’ve cuddled, so long since they’ve even seen each other in person. They send photos back and forth nearly every day but it’s not the same as the real thing.
They stay wrapped up in each other’s arms, Megan almost falling asleep until Daniela says, “I’m so excited to share a room with you.”
Confused, Megan says, “haven’t we already shared a room before? At Sophia’s beach house and when Manon took us all to Vegas even though we couldn’t really do anything and that time we went with your family on vacation?”
“I meant, like, in an actual room, silly.” Daniela rubs circles on Megan's back.
“Oh.”
“But I guess those can count, too.”
“We should move in together someday.”
“I’d love that,” says Daniela. “When I finally become a dance instructor at the studio we probably can, since I’ll have a steady income.”
Thinking about getting a job has been stressing Megan the hell out. She had one back in LA but had to quit since she was moving to Hawaii. Now, she has nothing and that probably contributed a lot to her sadness. Being stuck in your room, unemployed, has a shockingly negative effect on your mental health.
Being a housewife and just dancing all the time sounds amazing to Megan but she won’t do that to Daniela. “Yeah; I have to get settled back in LA, too.”
Daniela nods. “Don’t stress about it, though. Take your time.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
“I should text everyone and let them know we’re together.” When Daniela pulls her phone out, Megan notices she has a new lock screen photo. Before, it was just Megan. Now it’s the two of them that Lara took at the beach. Megan remembers that day like it was yesterday.
“That’s a cute picture,” Megan comments.
“Thank you! I like how we’re looking at each other.” Just looking at the photo you can tell how in love they are. It comforts Megan, knowing the girl she loves more than life itself loves her just as much.
Daniela takes a photo of her and Megan cuddling and then sends it to their group chat. It doesn’t take long before Yoonchae responds, followed by Manon and then eventually everyone else.
“They’re so embarrassing,” Megan laughs, seeing all their gross, cheesy messages.
“Gotta love ‘em.”
“At least they’re supportive,” Megan comments.
“Imagine if they weren’t, ha!” Daniela exclaims. “They’d be blind.”
“Totally.” She looks back up at Daniela, who looks rather soft in the natural lighting of Megan’s room. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
Daniela smiles. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
They kiss and for the first time in months, Megan feels like everything is going to be alright.