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“I have to admit that I’m still not sure about this, but I just really need some help and all your references spoke very highly of you, so you’re hired,” you say to the woman sitting in the chair across the living room from you. Her leather pants and disaffected demeanor don’t exactly scream ‘I love kids’ but you’re desperate. Your new job requires a lot of hours, but the medical benefits are great and you want to provide the kind of life Katie deserves.
“Well, being your last resort isn’t exactly enticing, but I’ll take the job. I kind of need the cash and your kid seems like she won’t be a complete terror,” she says.
“Oh, Katie is an absolute dream. She’s still a stubborn four-year-old at times, but she’s so sweet. It makes up for it.”
“I see where she gets it,” she says and you couldn’t fight the blush on your cheeks if you wanted to. You may be holding this interview strictly for professional reasons, but you can’t deny how gorgeous this woman is. Come on, Hollis. Keep it together.
“OK then! Are you able to start today? I know it’s like, super short notice, but I have to be at the station in an hour and if I call my friend Perry to babysit one more time I think she’s going to freak. She loves Katie but she has her own kids to take care of and I can’t keep relying on-”
“Cupcake… chill. I was kind of hoping I could start soon anyway and I really have nothing going on so today is fine.”
Cupcake?
“Oh great! Well do you have everything you need?”
“Kid? check. Fridge full of someone else’s food? check. Book to cure my boredom while the little one naps? check. All good here if you’re really ok with this,” Carmilla says.
“Yes, everything is great. Thank you, Carmilla. Katie seems to like you and I’m just so happy to have some help. I’ll see you tonight?”
“See you tonight.”
You get home around seven, just after you finished the five o’clock broadcast. You never want to leave your little girl, but Katie has told you more than once that having her mommy on tv is “way cool” and that makes it a bit easier to leave her during the day.
Walking from room to room, you start to feel concerned that you can’t find Carmilla or Katie anywhere. You’re surprised however to see that they must have already eaten dinner since there are dishes in the sink and a plate for you keeping warm in the oven.
You head upstairs, seeking out your daughter when you hear her giggling from her room. Her laugh is like magic, melting away all your stress instantly. You’re so happy, smiling from ear to ear knowing that you seem to have found the right person to take care of her while you’re gone. For so long, you’ve been the only person to make Katie laugh. The fact that Carmilla has her in a fit of giggles after spending just a few hours with her is definitely a good sign.
You approach her door, quietly peeking around the corner to see the two of them sitting at Katie’s table having an actual tea party. Carmilla would probably rather be caught dead than be seen like this, but both the tiara on her head and the smile on her face tell a very different story. She puts on this guarded front, but she really is good with kids. She’s good with your Katie.
“Are you friends with my mommy?” Katie asks Carmilla.
“Not yet, but I think I’d like to be.”
“I think my mommy would like you. You’re funny and she gets sad sometimes. I don’t want her to be sad,” Katie says, filling up Carmilla’s cup with imaginary tea.
“I don’t want her to be sad either. Maybe you and I could be friends first and we’ll see what happens,” Carmilla says, sipping her “tea” with her pinky out because Katie insists on it.
“We’re already friends. Aunt Perry is nice, but you’re fun and your jelly sandwiches are better but don’t tell her.”
“Your secret is safe with me, kiddo.”
Katie gets up from her chair, rounds the table and hugs Carmilla. She’s shocked at first, but eventually wraps her arms around your daughter and kisses the top of her head. You know then that you made the right choice. Carmilla may be mysterious and a little rough around the edges, but seeing the way she looks at your little girl tells you everything you need to know. You wipe the single tear from your cheek before knocking on the door lightly.
“Mommy!” Katie says, running over so you bend down to hug her tightly.
“Hey, baby!” you say. “How was your day?”
“It was so fun. We colored, read books, she makes the best jelly sandwiches and she played with me all day. I’m glad she’s here, mommy. I like her.”
You look over Katie’s head, making eye contact with Carmilla before saying “me too, honey. I like her too.”
The next day, you found yourself awake much earlier than usual. Carmilla will be here at noon today since you’ll be filming a special report downtown before you go into the station. Years ago you would have already been at the station, getting your hair and make-up professionally done, but that doesn’t seem as important anymore. You were once so concerned about your appearance, thinking that it would bring you more ratings. One day, you were out at lunch with Katie and some strangers recognized you and a few asked for an autograph. You were absolutely mortified when you realized you had no make-up on, your hair was in a messy bun and the dark circles under your eyes were on full display. You wanted to scoop Katie up and run as fast as you could until your daughter at only three years old asked them “my mommy pretty?” When they readily agreed and pushed their restaurant receipts at you to sign, you realized how vain you’d been and that moment changed your life. You remembered why you had gotten into journalism in the first place and as long as your daughter believed in you, you could do anything.
So, you throw your hair up into a pony tail, put on some gloves and get to work cleaning the house. While you may suspect that Carmilla isn’t too concerned with your house being clean, you are because for some reason you want to impress her. Yes, it may be a bad idea to develop a crush on your daughter’s nanny but you can’t help yourself. You thought about it last night while lying in bed, faking like you were actually going to sleep. Maybe you like her because she gives off this bad girl vibe? Maybe you like her because she’s the exact opposite of your ex? You loved Danny, more than you ever thought possible but you just weren’t good for each other. She had the best of intentions for you and Katie, but it just came off as controlling. Once you began to resent her actions, the two of you drifted apart and even she decided that you would be better off apart. She still sees Katie regularly and you have since become decent friends, but you’re looking for something different.
That’s when it hits you. It took seeing Carmilla interact with Katie to make you realize what you like about her. She’s not afraid to be herself and she’s certainly not going to shame someone else for doing the same. You’re sure the last thing she wanted to do yesterday was dress up like a princess and have a tea party, but she did it because Katie wanted to make believe with her. A lot of nannies that you’ve hired in the past would have told Katie to just play by herself and park it in front of the tv. For a while, Katie got into a bit of a funk. She was sad a lot of the time, especially when you weren’t around. They made her believe that her ideas were dumb, almost killing her imagination and creativity. That’s when you begged Perry to watch Katie until you could find the right nanny because Perry loves her like she’s one of her own and would never treat your daughter that way.
Seeing Carmilla forget embarrassment for a while just to make your daughter happy made you believe there’s a lot more hiding behind all the eyeliner and leather she wears so well. Even if you two only become friends, it would be nice to have someone like her in your life; someone that’s not so worried about protecting you at all costs, or keeping things normal and appropriate all the time. You love your dad, Perry and even Danny to an extent, but you just can’t take it sometimes. You’ve often thought about picking everything up and just moving to the opposite side of the country so you can live your own life and raise Katie the way you think is best. Having them constantly interject themselves into your decisions and try to make them for you just drives you crazy.
A while and a lot of dust later, you and Katie are dancing in your socks in the living room. You just finished polishing the hard wood and Katie likes to slide around on her socks and you’ll admit you like it too. You’re using the broom and Katie’s using the handle from the dustpan to put on the best vocal performance of Michael Bublé’s version of “Be My Baby” of your lives when you faintly hear a knock at the door. Looking at your watch, you realize it’s only ten-thirty so you go to answer the door. Carmilla doesn’t seem like an early bird, so your messy hair, yoga pants and sweaty tank top shouldn’t be a problem because this couldn’t possibly be her.
You look out the peep hole and oh no, oh crap. It’s her and of course she looks incredible. You spin around to Katie and you must have a terrified look on your face because she instantly freaks out.
“What’s wrong mommy? We were having so much fun!” she yells over the music.
“Nothing, honey. I’m just not ready. Um, could you turn down the radio a bit?”
“Yep!” Katie gets a running start and slides across the floor, hitting the wall a little bit but ultimately turning down the stereo. You smooth out your hair the best you can and take a few deep breaths before opening the door.
“Hey, cupcake. You look nice today,” Carmilla says, holding a paper bag and looking gorgeous. It’s honestly not fair. Beyoncé’s “Flawless” suddenly plays through your mind.
“I’m flattered, but come on. I’ve been cleaning all morning there’s just no way.”
“I mean it, you really do look great. Anyway, sorry I’m so early. I hope it’s ok.”
“Of course, but I have to ask. What brings you here?”
“Well, I was kind of hoping the three of us could have lunch before you left for work,” Carmilla admits, shyly looking down at the bag in her hands. “I picked up sandwiches from my favorite place. I wasn’t sure what you would like.”
“That sounds great actually. I was just about to make us some lunch,” you say as you both turn to look at Katie. She’s trying her best to pull off the twist, but she slips on the freshly waxed floor and stumbles into the wall. You and Carmilla giggle a bit before you rush to check on her.
“You ok, baby?” you ask, pulling her to her feet.
“Yep. I’m a big girl so no tears for me,” she says with a determined look on her face.
“We’ll work on your dance moves later, sweetheart. You’ll have the twist down pat in no time. Guess who’s here to have some lunch with us?” you ask.
Katie turns her head toward the door and smiles big when she sees who’s here.
“Carmilla!” she yells over the music before getting another head start and running to slide right into her. If Carmilla wouldn’t have braced herself for impact they would have probably both fallen to the floor, but she sets the bag down and hugs your daughter tightly instead.
“Hey there, kiddo. Having fun with your mom?” Carmilla asks.
“So much fun! I helped her clean,” you shake your head as Carmilla looks to you; she laughs. “We’ve been singing and dancing. Today is the best already.”
“Sounds fun, maybe I could teach you some dance moves later, huh?”
“You’re so cool. I’m gonna go check on my fish. If we’re gonna have lunch, they should eat too.” Katie says, hugs Carmilla’s legs one more time and takes off up the stairs.
“Come on, let’s go out to the patio. It’s such a nice day. No need to stay in here for lunch. That ok with you?” you ask.
“Sounds good to me, cutie.”
You turn quickly to lead her out back so she doesn’t see how red your cheeks are. You’ve never really been one to use terms of endearment toward anyone but Katie and never really liked people using them with you, but it’s different with Carmilla. You like it when it’s coming from her.
Once you open the door, the look on her face is exactly what you’re going for. Your backyard is one of your favorite places in the world to spend time. You and Katie have worked so hard to make it as nice and welcoming as you have. On the left is the garden where you and Katie grow different foods and herbs. Just because you have a serious problem with eating too many sweet foods, that doesn’t mean you can’t teach your daughter the importance of a healthy diet; or at least try to. On the right is the huge playhouse that you and Danny built for Katie when she started to walk. It brings back some bad memories, but you don’t have the heart to take it down. Katie just loves it so much. Toward the back of the yard is the fountain your dad helped you install and Katie’s favorite part, the hammock where the two of you like to read on cool days. To be honest you do most of the reading, she just likes to snuggle up to you and swing back and forth.
You go over to the table and start to open the large umbrella when Carmilla finally shuts the door to the house and comes over to you.
“Wow, this is incredible. My backyard is seriously a concrete slab and some dead grass,” she says and you laugh. It feels so good to be able to laugh again.
“Well you could always change that. I’d be willing to help you if you want. This place was very plain when I moved in. I found that working out here was really therapeutic since I was going through some pretty rough stuff at the time.”
“I think I’d like that very much,” Carmilla says.
“Um, I’ll go get us something to drink,” you say, trying to hide the butterflies fluttering in your stomach and the blush on your cheeks.
You go inside and into the kitchen, thankful that you just made a fresh pitcher of strawberry lemonade; Katie’s favorite. You grab a few plates, napkins and a couple glasses, put everything on a tray and carry it back outside. You find Carmilla checking out the play house and your heart sinks. You’re proud of the work you did to build that for your little girl, but there’s so much baggage attached to it, you dread talking about it.
You’re setting a place on the table for the three of you when she turns to find you’re back outside and smiles before walking over.
“That thing is pretty impressive. Where’d you get it?” she asks. You want to puke.
“Uh, well I built it.”
“Seriously, creampuff? You built that? It’s like a miniature version of your house.”
“Well, my ex and I built it for Katie when we moved in,” you admit.
“Oh, well it’s still pretty impressive.”
“I guess so. Katie loves it so even though it makes me sick to look at it. I just don’t have the heart to take it down.”
She looks at you like she wants to hear more, but she never asks. It’s nice to finally know someone that doesn’t pry into your life and decisions but you can’t help but open up to her. You feel like you can trust her.
“It’s just that things didn’t end so well with Danny. I mean, it was great at first. We were high school sweethearts I guess. She made me feel so loved and safe. I thought for the longest time that we would get married and have a great life together. My dad really liked her because he felt like she could keep me safe. Danny’s pretty tall and has always been very strong. She even beat up this guy Wilson back in tenth grade for hitting on me. It’s funny to think about now, but I was so mad at her even though my dad secretly liked that she did that. I know I’m pretty small, but I’m stronger than I look and I can take care of myself. That was just one of the reasons we broke up. I don’t need anyone that feels like it’s their job to protect me. I can do just fine on my own.”
“Well, I don’t doubt that for a second. I saw that story you did last year when you interview the governor on his equality laws and I have to say I was amused to say the least. When you stood on your tippy toes to get in his face when he called you ‘hysterical’ and the camera shut off, I thought you were going to be fired. When I saw you on the next day, I was a bit relieved to say the least. I expected the network to force an apology out of you but you stood your ground and didn’t you get a promotion out of the whole thing?”
“Oh, yea. I can’t believe you saw that or that you even watch my broadcasts to begin with.”
“I never miss them,” Carmilla says, looking up through her bangs at you and you just might melt to the ground.
“Oh. Well, I did get a promotion because of that so it worked out in the end. I was so worried but as it turns out, most of the station executives are women and were impressed so I’m a regular daytime anchor as I guess you already know.”
“I’ve never really cared much for the news to be honest, but my sister Mattie watches it religiously and I caught one of your reports one day while at her house and I was pretty much hooked from then on. You just have this way of making everything much more interesting. Your delivery is just so passionate. How could anyone not watch is the real question.”
“Thank you, Carmilla. That’s very sweet of you.”
“I tell the truth, cutie. I wonder what’s keeping Katie?” she asks.
“I’ll go check on her,” you say.
“Could I go? You’ve been working all morning and I kind of miss the little bugger.”
“That would be great.”
You’re taking the sandwiches out of the bag and placing them on the plates you set out for the three of you when you hear a “psst” coming from somewhere. You look around the backyard and toward the door but you can’t find anyone.
“Laura, up here!” Carmilla yell-whispers and you look up to find her hanging out your daughter’s bedroom window. You’re about to ask what she’s doing when she motions for you to come up and pops back inside.
You go inside and climb the stairs, unsure of what you’ll find when you get there. When you round the corner of the hallway and step into Katie’s room, you find Carmilla standing there with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen her wear. She looking down at Katie, who’s currently curled up on the floor, dirty socks still on, clutching her stuffed fish Lophii and fast asleep.
“Guess you two did a little too much dancing this morning,” Carmilla whispers.
You laugh softly before saying “I guess so. Let’s get her into bed.”
You reach down to pull the dirty socks off her feet. When you’re putting clean ones one because Katie’s feet get cold easily, Carmilla scoops her up, hugs her tightly and walks toward Katie’s bed. You rush over to pull back the covers so Carmilla can lay her down. You tuck her in tightly and lean down to kiss her forehead. It may be difficult at times with your demanding job and a little one at home, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Katie is your reason for living and fills your heart with so much love. You’re honestly so lucky to have her.
When you turn toward the door, you find Carmilla feeding Katie’s fish. You both laugh quietly on the way out because she came all the way up here and fell asleep before she could even feed them.
You get back outside and you suddenly feel nervous that you’re going to have lunch alone with Carmilla. The more you talk with her, the worse your crush gets. Part of you feels that this is a very bad idea, but the other part of you doesn’t care. No one has ever made you feel the way she does. Danny didn’t even look at you the way Carmilla does and you were with her for ten years.
“So, what do you do for fun besides reporting the news and dancing in your socks?” she asks as you sit down at the table.
“Not much I guess. I don’t have much time for myself anymore. With all the hours I spend at work, I don’t have much room in my life for anything else but that and Katie of course.”
“Hmm, do you like movies?” she asks, folding her arms across her chest.
“Sure, doesn’t everyone?” you laugh.
“I suppose so. Well, maybe your friend Perry would agree to watch Katie one night and we could go see one. It’s a shame that you never really do anything for yourself.”
You take a sip of your lemonade because you’re at a loss for words. You want to instantly say yes, but you don’t want to seem too eager. Did Carmilla just ask you on a date or is this her just being nice?
“Sounds fun. Let’s do it,” you say and she raises an eyebrow. You almost spit your lemonade all over the table but you manage to hold it together. Barely.
A few hours later, you’re driving to work and you can’t keep your mind off Carmilla. You’re pretty sure now that she asked you out and you honestly want to scream you’re so excited. When you were leaving, Katie was still asleep so you were trying to sneak out so to not wake her. Carmilla caught you by the door and was quick to tell you how beautiful you looked before assuring you everything would be fine at home and to have a good day at work. You thought on the way to the car how natural that all felt, how you could get used to that.
You dialed Perry’s number and turn on your Bluetooth so you could still focus on driving.
“Laura, how are you?” Perry asks upon answering.
“Great! I’m great. How are LaF and the kids?” you ask.
“Oh you know, almost blowing up the house, creating messes and generally causing trouble on a daily basis. They’re the loves of my life as usual.” You both share a laugh. “How’s Katie? I miss my little dance machine.”
“She’s great, but that’s kind of why I’m calling. I hate to ask, but is there any chance you could watch her for me tomorrow night?”
“Of course, but I thought you just hired a nanny for her. Did that not work out?”
“It’s working out great, actually. Carmilla is amazing and Katie really loves her. Um, she’s kind of the reason I need you to watch Katie tomorrow.”
“What do you mean?”
“Carmilla and I are going to see a movie.”
There’s silence on the other end and you’re a bit scared of what Perry’s going to say.
“That’s so great, honey! LaFontaine and I have been worried about you lately. You deserve to get out more. Of course we’ll watch little Katie, no problem. So tell me about this, Carmilla. What’s she like?”
“Well, I wasn’t sure what to think at first. She showed up to her interview in leather pants and a tattered flannel. Didn’t look like a nanny in the slightest.”
“My heavens!” Perry exclaims and you burst into laughter.
“No, she’s not like she seemed at first at all. Her references were better than anyone else I interviewed so I gave her a chance, seeing as I was desperate for help. When I came home last night, she and Katie were having a tea party. Katie somehow convinced her to even dress up and wear a tiara. When I saw Katie get up and run to hug her, I knew how amazing she really was. You know how hard it is for Katie to trust anyone these days.”
“Oh my goodness, that’s huge! Since, well you know who left, Katie doesn’t really warm up to anyone. This Carmilla person must be very special.”
“I really think she is. Carmilla and I had lunch today and I have to admit I think I like her, Perry. I know it’s really soon, but there’s just something about her.”
“Laura, you owe it to yourself and Katie to at least give this a shot. I don’t know much about her, but the fact that Katie likes her tells me a lot. Drop her off whenever you’re ready tomorrow. We were staying home anyway. We’ll just have a movie night of our own.”
“Thank you, Perry. I appreciate it so much,” you say.
“That’s what family is for, dear.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow it is. Good luck today!”
“Thanks,” you say as you reach to hang up the phone.
You spend the rest of the drive downtown planning out what you’ll wear. This may not even be a date, but you want to look good. This need to impress Carmilla is getting ridiculous, but who cares.
You pull in the driveway, exhausted from a busy day. Your crew worked hard to help you expose some corrupt politicians and you finally got the interview with them you’ve been waiting for. Although you work for a local new station, it’s a job where you can make a difference in your community. That’s always been important to you and Katie’s proud of you which makes days like this worth it.
Upon opening the door, you’re surprised to hear music playing loudly through the house. Norah Jones’ “Come Away with Me” is echoing through the halls and that’s when you see them. Carmilla and Katie are dancing in the middle of the kitchen and they could not be more adorable. Katie keeps stepping on Carmilla’s toes, but she doesn’t flinch for a second. It wasn’t until Carmilla spins Katie and dips her that Katie finally sees you standing at the front door.
“Mommy!” she says, letting go of Carmilla and running to give you a hug.
“Hey, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“I’m learning how to uh,” she turns toward Carmilla who is turning down the music and asks “what’s it called?”
“Waltz. You’re learning to waltz and you’re doing a great job, kid.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Waltz. I like the spinning part. I get dizzy but it’s way fun,” Katie says, turning to spin in place.
“Looks like fun,” you say, looking up at Carmilla and mouthing a silent “thank you.” She nods and your stomach flips.
“Well, I should probably be going. You guys probably want to go to bed. Thanks for the dance, Katie. I had a great time,” Carmilla says, reaching down to ruffle Katie’s hair.
“Yep! I want to learn more dances next time.”
“Sounds like a plan. Anyway, have a good night you two. See you later,” she says, walking out the open door and toward her car.
“Katie, there’s chocolate milk in the fridge. Go get it out and I’ll be there in a sec,” you say hurriedly.
“Awesome!” she exclaims and takes off running.
You rush out the door, hoping to catch Carmilla before she gets into her car and luck is fortunately on your side today.
“Carm! Wait!”
She stops in her tracks and turns around, looking almost relieved you followed her out there.
“What can I do for you, cupcake?” she asks, slowly leaning back against her car. Good lord she’s attractive.
“Um, how does tomorrow sound?” you say a bit out of breath from running.
“What do you mean? Tomorrow is Saturday. I didn’t think you worked on the weekends but I’d be happy to watch Katie if you need me to.”
“No, not that. The movie. Um, would you want to go tomorrow night?” I know it’s really short notice again and if you already have plans then I totally get it, I just thought it would be nice to go and”
“Laura.” She stops you from rambling with a gentle hand on your cheek and holy crap, if you thought you had butterflies in your stomach before you really do now. “I’d love to go. What time should I pick you up, or would you like to pick me up?” she says, running her thumb across your cheek bone before pulling away. You miss her touch already.
“You can pick me up if you want, but thanks for asking. Do you mind if we drop Katie off at my friend Perry’s first? She agreed to watch her while we’re out.”
“Oh, so your friends know about me, huh?” Carmilla says with a smug grin.
“Uh, well I had to find a babysitter and she was the only person I could think of beside you and since I’ll be with you that kind of defeats the purpose of you watching Katie and I”
“Cupcake. You’re rambling again,” she says.
“Sorry, I do that sometimes when I’m… never mind.”
“It’s ok, I was kidding anyway. You’re just so easy to get worked up. Couldn’t help myself.”
You lightly slap her shoulder and she laughs. God you love her laugh.
“Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. Could you be here around six?” you ask.
“It’s a date,” she says. You lean in to kiss her cheek and take off running toward the house before she has the chance to react.
You have a date.
You have a date with Carmilla.
Holy crap.
The next day at around five-thirty, you find yourself pacing the living room. You’re so nervous you just can’t help yourself. Katie is currently occupied by singing along to The Little Mermaid and under normal circumstances you’d be singing along with her, but right now your stomach is in your throat and your hands are shaking. In less than an hour, Carmilla will be picking you up for what she said was a date and you can’t contain yourself. You have been texting her throughout the day, making plans for tonight and it’s just made you even more nervous. The two of you decided to see a screening of The Wizard of Oz playing in the old theater downtown since nothing else that’s playing seemed worth spending money on.
You’re in the bathroom, checking your hair one last time when you hear the doorbell. Before you can even get out to the living room, Katie already answered the door and you find Carmilla crouched down, hugging your daughter.
“Look who’s here, mommy!”
“I see. What did I tell you about opening the door?” you ask Katie.
“Never open the door for strangers, I know that! But I looked out the window and saw my friend so I wanted to let her in. Are you here to play with me?” she asks Carmilla.
“Not this time, kid. But come Monday I’m all yours,” Carmilla says and looks to you, smiling sweetly.
“Katie, put on your shoes. You’re going to hang out with Aunt Perry for a while, ok?” you say.
“Cool! I can’t wait to blow stuff up!” she says and runs up to her room.
Carm looks at you with an understandably confused expression on her face. “Should I even ask?”
“Yea, Perry’s partner LaFontaine is a chemist and likes to do experiments at home with their two kids. Perry has assured me it’s all safe so I don’t mind Katie having some fun with them every now and then.”
“Ah, I see. You look beautiful by the way,” Carmilla says.
“Thank you. You look really great too,” you say and she really does. You’ve never seen someone pull off tight black jeans and a simple white t-shirt so well, but Carmilla could probably make a garbage bag look sexy if you’re being honest.
Katie comes running back down the stairs before you have the chance to embarrass yourself so you set the alarm, lock the door and the three of you head toward Carmilla’s car. You place Katie’s booster seat in the back before you all climb in and head toward Perry and LaF’s place.
After greeting your friends and only fifteen minutes of them interrogating Carmilla, you’re finally on your way to the theater. You’re trying so hard to not be nervous, but you can’t help it. You’ve only been in one serious relationship in your entire life so you’re not good at the whole dating thing. Carmilla must notice you freaking out a bit because you feel her hand on your bouncing knee and suddenly you can relax. She squeezes your leg gently before letting go to shift the gears. It kind of makes you hate that she drives a stick to be honest. The two of you drive in relative silence the rest of the way, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s nice to just exist for a while with someone without having to force a conversation.
When you get to the theater, she’s out of the car and opening your door before you even get your seatbelt all the way off. You smile as you take her hand to let her help you out of the car. The feeling of her hand around your waist as she leads you to the front door is making your head spin so you concentrate on walking. The last thing you want is to trip and fall in front of her.
“I’d be happy to pay, but if you’re uncomfortable with that it’s fine,” she finally says.
“That’s fine, but thank you for asking. How about you get the tickets and I’ll get the popcorn,” you reply.
“Deal.”
After getting your snacks, you find some great seats and you’re surprised to find there’s only a few other people in the theater. This isn’t exactly a bad thing though you think and smile to yourself.
“You’re going to hate me,” Carmilla whispers.
“What? Why?” you say, probably a bit too loudly and turn toward her. You could never imagine hating her. She looks around to see if anyone is paying attention and luckily for both of you, no one cares.
“Uh, I’ve never seen this movie.”
“Are you freaking serious!?” you yell-whisper because you didn’t think there was anyone left on the planet who hasn’t seen The Wizard of Oz.
“Dead serious. Sorry to disappoint you, cupcake.”
“No, you haven’t disappointed me and I certainly don’t hate you. If anything I’m more excited now. I’m so happy that the first time you’re going to see one of the best movies ever made is with me,” you say honestly before you can stop yourself.
“I’m happy too,” she says while opening her twizzlers. The lights dim before you can say anything else so you lean back and slightly toward Carmilla to get ready for the movie.
You spend the first half hour of the movie watching Carmilla’s reactions as much as you’re watching the actual film. You’ve loved this movie for as long as you can remember. You and your mom watched it a lot together when you were little so it will always be your favorite for that reason alone.
You hear Carmilla gasp when Dorothy opens the door into Oz and the film turns from black and white to color. When she realizes the house crushed the wicked witch, you hear her whisper “yes” to herself and you can’t help but laugh quietly and lean even closer.
When the munchkins appear on the screen for the first time you feel her lean into you.
“Look, it’s you,” she whispers into your ear. You turn and slap her shoulder lightly, but she just grabs you hand and laces her fingers into yours. You want to be mad at her for calling you short, but you’re too busy freaking out. Your heart is pounding and you’re breathing is ragged. Carmilla is holding your hand and it feels amazing. You feel like a teenager again. This is honestly so exhilarating; you never want this movie to end.
A while later, you’re lost in the feeling of Carmilla’s thumb absentmindedly rubbing back and forth against yours when you feel her lean close to you again.
“I like the tin man, he kind of reminds me of myself,” she whispers into your ear.
You’re feeling a bit braver so you turn toward her, placing your hand on her chest. She looks shocked when she turns back to face you. You smile before leaning in and saying “you’re nothing like the tin man. See? Your heartbeat is as strong as ever. You have a bigger heart than anyone I’ve ever met.”
When you lean back, you see her smiling widely and you can’t help but do the same. She lets go of your hand and before you can reach for it again, she puts her arm around your shoulder and pulls you close, kissing you on your temple and turning back to the movie. You snuggle up to her side trying to hide your excitement.
You get the courage to put your hand on her leg during the scene when they first meet the wizard. That part always scared you as a kid and you still feel the same to an extent, but the way Carmilla begins to trace circles on the back of your hand makes you forget about all that.
When Dorothy finally defeats the wicked witch of the west, Carmilla leans back into you saying “Dorothy reminds me of you.”
You turn to look at her and your breath hitches at how close she is to you. She looks into your eyes, but doesn’t pull back. You’re looking into her eyes but before you can stop yourself you look down at her lips. God you want her to kiss you, but what if she doesn’t want to? How could someone like her ever fall for someone like you?
Just when you start to have an internal panic attack, it happens. Her lips are on yours and it takes a moment for you to react, but you kiss her back. Her hand is on your cheek, pulling you closer to her and you go willingly. Her lips are so soft, and you can’t help but sigh into her. If you’re honest, you wanted to kiss her from the first time you laid eyes on her, but you’re so oblivious at times you missed the fact that she wanted the same.
This is the best kiss you’ve ever experienced in your life. It’s like the Andromeda galaxy is crashing into the Milky Way behind your eyes you see so many stars. Her lips were made to fit with yours, almost like the two of you have kissed a hundred times before. You completely forget where you are for a moment, lost in her touch when she finally pulls back for air. Her eyes flutter open at the same time yours do, but she doesn’t let go. She pulls you close, kissing your forehead before you both turn to watch the end of the movie, holding each other as close as possible. You definitely don’t want this movie to end.
When the movie ends, she drives you back home since Katie fell asleep at Perry and LaF’s and you decided to just let her stay there. Carmilla pulls into the driveway and turns off the car before saying “there’s no place like home.”
You can’t help but laugh at the reference while you reach for her hand. Instead of holding it like you planned, she brings it to her lips, kissing your knuckles lightly before letting go and getting out of the car. She opens your door for you and walks up to the front door of your house, her arm around your waist the entire way.
“I had a great time tonight,” she says.
“I did too, thank you for taking me out. Did you like the movie?” you ask.
“I did actually. I wasn’t sure about it at first. Not the biggest fan or big song and dance numbers but I can understand why this movie is considered a classic. It’s a great story and Dorothy is a pretty great character.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been as good if it weren’t for Judy Garland. She’s the only person who could have ever played Dorothy. She’s amazing.”
“Yeah, she is.”
You look up at Carmilla and wonder how you’re just meeting her now. You could have saved yourself a lot of pain and loneliness if you’d met her sooner, but now is better than never.
Before you can get too lost in your thoughts, you lean up to kiss her again, wrapping your arms around the back of her neck. She wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you flush against her and god it feels so good. You’ve been so lonely for so long, you forgot what it feels like to be held. You want to cry, but you can’t let her see that. She pulls back, reaching up to brush your hair behind your ear and smiling at you.
“Do you think we could do this again sometime?” she asks, leaning in for one more chaste kiss.
“Definitely. I was going to ask the same thing.”
“Good. Well, I’ll let you go in and get some rest. It’s probably been a while since you’ve had a night to yourself and a good night’s rest. See you on Monday?”
While part of you wants to invite her in, you don’t want to rush this and ruin it so you concede.
“Yes, I’ll definitely see you Monday. Both Katie and I are looking forward to it,” you smile.
“Me too, cupcake. Me too.”
Six Years Later
It’s been an exhausting day. You were called into work early, interrupting your plans because of a stupid storm that’s supposed to be hitting tomorrow. You still don’t know why your producers felt it necessary for you to report on it every hour of the day when the station has an adequately qualified meteorologist but you’re grateful for the promotion they gave you last year so you go anyway.
You just finished the ten o’clock broadcast so you run to your car, very eager to get home. When you pull into the driveway, you barely remember to turn off the car before getting out and running into the house. On the way upstairs, you peek into Katie’s room to find her fast asleep. She’s ten-years-old now, and is quite a young woman. She’s fiercely intelligent and so courageous. You admire the person she’s becoming every day.
You make your way down the hall, opening the door to your bedroom quietly. You’re pleased to see that your wife is waiting up for you as always. There’s just something about having her to come home to every day that makes all the stress worth it.
“How was your day, love?” Carmilla asks, looking up from her book and smiling at you.
“Exhausting. I’m glad to be home,” you say, getting undressed and walking toward the bed. You lean down to kiss her before going to find something to sleep in, but when you turn to walk away, she pulls you by your hand so you fall into her lap.
You begin to laugh, but when she holds you in her arms so gently, it quickly fades. She looks into your eyes, brushing the hair away from you face before leaning down to kiss you again. She’s the only person you want to kiss for the rest of your life and you’re so happy that dream has become a reality.
“I missed you,” she says against your lips.
“I missed you too,” you say before kissing her again. “I took the next two days off because of the storm by the way.”
“So you mean that you won’t have to get up early tomorrow?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep.”
“Good,” she says before rolling you over so she’s laying against you. With her hips pressed into yours, she kisses you like she did that first night and you fall in love with her all over again. “Because I have no plans of us going to sleep any time soon. Do you have any idea just how much I love you?”
“Not as much as I love you,” you say.
“Prove it,” she says and you smile into the kiss, knowing it’s going to be a long night.
You couldn’t have known all those years ago when you hired Carmilla that things would turn out this way, but you couldn’t imagine ever being happier than you are now. You’re married to the woman of your dreams, she’s an amazing mother to Katie and your family finally feels whole again. You felt lost for so long, blindly making your way through life. But tonight in Carmilla’s arms, feeling so loved and adored is right where you’ve always belonged.