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It was another depressing night for the two of them, tangled together and infatuated. They couldn’t help but depend on one another to live, but it felt pathetic to go on like this almost every night. Breathless moans and the smell of cigarettes filled the room, with sweat dripping off their bodies like rain. The hickeys covering Dazai’s neck, which he had to hide with bandages now discarded on the floor, were hard to ignore, especially since they were left by none other than his supposed rival, Chuuya. The heavy breaths and high-pitched moans emanating from them formed a disturbing yet haunting harmony, echoing the sadness of their situation.
However, today was different. Dazai wasn’t as enthusiastic as before and seemed like he was almost bored with it. Chuuya felt hurt, but this is a no-strings-attached agreement; he couldn’t do anything to change it. They were never officially dating anyway, so why would he be sad? So Chuuya decided to ignore all of that and focus on the moment and reaching the peak of pleasure instead.
After all was done, Chuuya only put on his pants and shirt, but didn’t even button them formally. He lit up a cigarette and smoked by the window like he always would while Dazai showered. Usually, Dazai would stay the night, and they’d enjoy each other’s company for a while before sleeping to drown away the feelings they’d always hesitate to speak up about. Then, the brunet would leave early in the morning, leaving Chuuya all alone and cold on his bed.
Except for this time, Dazai got out of the bathroom, fully clothed. He glanced at Chuuya like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t grasp what to say, so he just decided to smoke before heading to the door. Chuuya gazed over, lingering on Dazai’s clothes before speaking up in a raspy tone:
“Leaving already?” He sounded a bit confused and rather upset, according to Dazai’s analysis.
“Yeah.” He answered quietly but still loud enough to be heard.
A few moments of silence passed between them before Chuuya broke it and spoke up again.
“Why?” Dazai was taken a bit aback, and he hesitated to answer truthfully, but he knew it was better for Chuuya to know the truth.
“Because tonight is the last time ‘this’ will ever happen ever again.” He paused. “Because – I’m not in love with you anymore.” The atmosphere dropped almost immediately. The air felt heavier, and Chuuya almost choked on his cigarette.
He didn’t say anything for a long while; there was a dead silence between those two. Just pure sadness and bitterness in that room. Chuuya couldn’t breathe, gravity was suffocating him – but he was supposed to be the gravity manipulator, why was this happening to him? He knew for a fact that everyone would leave eventually, but he never, not even once, expected Dazai to leave him again; he thought their bond was genuine. Chuuya just stood there, a puzzled and sad look on his face. Well, he knew they were a ‘thing’,specifically labeled, friends with benefits, and he thought he was in a ‘no love, only lust’ relationship—he thought Dazai was only sexually attracted to him. It’s not like Chuuya ever felt loved by Dazai anyway, not a genuine romantic type of love at least.
It took him over ten minutes to answer.
“I didn’t know you ever were.” His voice was merely a whisper, but Dazai could hear him. Even so, no replies were heard. Dazai only nodded and quietly left.