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Natalie somehow wakes up in the middle of the night and moves her hand over to Lotties bedside. It's empty. Slowly, she gains more conciousness and registers what that means.
She leaves the bed and sees that the lights in the hallway are on. She follows the light only to find that there're no other lights on in the cabin. She swears "fuck" and grabs her keys and heads out.
It's not unnormal for Lottie to leave the bed or the bedroom when she's had a nightmare. Lottie doesn't even know why she does it. She only knows Natalie always finds her after a few minutes and puts her out of her trance like state.
Natalie usually finds her in the living room, all lights on, and trying to calm herself down.
But she only ever leaves the cabin when she's had a particulary bad nightmare.
So Natalie knows she has to find Lottie.
When she left the bedroom she noticed Lotties bashrobe missing so she knows Lottie's only wearing just her pyjama and the bathrobe. Witch is really bad because it's so cold that she could... *flashes of Jackie appear*...Nat tries to not think about it, squeases her eyes shut and shakes her head.
It's so dark that she can't see very far. She checks if there are any lights on, anywhere on the property and as that isn't the case she starts to worry more because that means Lottie is really somewhere outside. She only hopes she's not somewhere in the woods. She passes the garden and the bees and finally as she gets closer to the lake, she sees her.
Natalie starts running and calls her, "Lottie, Lot, there you are. Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. Fuck. Are you okay?" She sits down next to Lottie and puts her arms around Lottie, who looks like she's freezing.
Lottie doesn't answer, just looks at Natalie. Natalie can tell by the still drying tears on her face that she's cried. Her nose is a little red and she has a distant look in her eyes.
"Lottie, hey, it's okay, everything is okay. Let's get back inside, ok? Fuck, you're really fucking cold, Lot, do you know that?" She tries with a little bit of humor but the Woman infront of her doesn't react. "Ok, let's get inside, Lottie, honey, come on." Nat tries her best to talk slow and calm to get Lottie to listen to her but she's scared. She hates that she has to rip Lottie out of this state, she'd rather hold her as long as it takes for Lottie to get out of it herself, but Lottie is already shaking and her lips are blue from the cold. She helps Lottie up and imediatly puts her arm around her so she can get her faster inside their cabin.
Lottie is not suicidal and she sees a psychiatrist and always takes her pills. Nat knows that. But sometimes, when Lottie is missing, out in the dark alone, she's so scared that something happens to Lottie that she feels like she's going crazy.
Back inside their cabin she guides Lottie into the bathroom and makes her sit on the edge of the bathtub. She turns the water on and goes back to Lottie. Gently, she puts Lotties face between her hands and says "Lot, i'll make you a tea, ok? I'll be right back" and kisses her on the forehead. Only when the woman in front of her nods she knows it's ok to leave her.
She tries to hurry, almost burns herself on the hot water and rushes back inside the bathroom. The tea is still too warm so she sets it on the corner of the sink and then she checks the temperature of the bathwater.
While they wait for the tub to fill, she takes Lotties slightly shaking hands inside her own so that they can get a little bit warmer. Lottie, who looks like a lost puppy, follows her with her eyes the whole time.
It breaks Natalies heart to see her like that. Lottie is usually so composed, so confident, so calm in every situation but against those nightmares she's just lost.
And Lottie allows herself to beeing lost because she knows she has Natalie who always catches her and brings her back to reality.
Natalie knows it's best not to push Lottie so they just sit there in silence. When the water is high enough, she puts Lotties hair up, helps her out of her clothes and gets her fresh clothes. When she comes back, Lottie is already in the water and she sits on the floor next to her.
Lottie reaches over for Natalie to take her hand and finally starts talking. Her words come out as a whisper and her eyes fill with tears "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nat. I'm so sorry, I know you are scared and I woke you up and it's in the middle of the night and you're tired and it's cold and this is all my fault and-" Natalie stops her by saying ever so gently "Lottie, it's okay. You don't have to apologize, you know that. I love you and I'm glad I wake up everytime you have a nightmare so I find you and be there for you, ok? It's not your fault."
Lottie nods her head and smiles a sad smile at Natalie. "I love you. So much. I'm so greatful to have you, Nat. Can you give me a kiss?" She asks, her voice being even more quiet.
Natalie's eyes go even more soft, she whispers "of course" and she leans over to give Lottie a soft kiss on the mouth. Both of them smile and Natalie notices that Lottie stopped shaking and her lips aren't so blue anymore.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Natalie asks although she knows Lottie will probably say no for now. As expected Lottie shakes her head but squeases Natalies hand.
Back when they just got together this would've made Natalie really insecure and worry about why Lottie wouldn't talk to her and if she was doing everything right. Now she knows Lottie will tell her if she's ready.
Maybe she'll tell her in the morning, maybe not and that's okay. She knows Lotties nightmares are about the wilderness, their time there and the things they did and what Lottie did. But sometimes the dreams mix with their current life, so that their adult versions do things and those are especially haunting. The worst one that Lottie told Natalie from, was a dream in which they haunted Natalie and then killed her.
When the water isn't hot anymore, Natalie gives Lottie a towel and she gets out. "Do you want another tea?," Natalie asks but Lottie shakes her head and they go into their bedroom. Lottie dresses herself and Natalie falls into the bed, exausted and tired but imediatly holds up the cover for Lottie to slip unter.
Lottie is always very clingy, more clingy than normal, when she's had a nightmare and so she lays herself half on top of Natalie and puts her head against the side of Natalies face to breath her in. Natalie always smiles when Lottie does that.
At the beginning of their relationship Natalie was often overwhelmed with having so much body contact and not being used to so much affection. Now that her guard is let down and she's almost as clingy as Lottie is.
Natalie wraps her arms around Lottie and holds her tight. She kisses Lottie on the forehead, Lottie gives Natalie a kiss on the cheek and then finally they give each other a kiss on the mouth bevor Lottie nussels her head back at where it belongs, at Natalies neck, so she can be as close to Natalie as it's possible. Both let out a long helt breath and then start to fall asleep.
Natalie falls asleep knowing that her woman is safe in her arms again, and Lottie falls asleep knowing she is safe in the arms of the woman she has loved since they were teenagers.
Later, in the morning, they will wake up and Lottie will tell Natalie about her nightmare. She will tell her that, in her dream, she had antlers and Natalie und Travis were hunting her trough the woods. She will cry and Natalie will hold her until there are no tears left.
Natalie will think of a soultion and then they will agree that it is better for Natalie to hide the key to their cabin so that Lottie can't sneak out, at least as long as it's winter.
They will hold and comfort each other.
But for now, they're asleep in each others arms, their heart beats align and steady.