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Chapter Text

Date: 27 April 1976

James

“You’ve done it! You’ve finally done it! Unbelievable, Moony!”

James stared at his friend in awe. After months of sneaking through the restricted section of the library and exploring every hidden corner of the castle under the invisibility cloak, they had finally done it. They had created a detailed map of Hogwarts enhanced with everyone’s whereabouts. Remus had cracked the spell that made it possible. Bloody brilliant , James thought. That bloke is too clever for his own good.

“I mean, it only took months of studying old cartography books and neglecting my actual coursework, but it was worth it.” Remus said, grinning with pride. “The Homonculus charm wasn’t an easy spell, I’ll tell you that!” 

“Wait until Padfoot and Wormtail hear about this! They are going to lose it! I’m sure of it!”

“Now that you mention it, where are these two?”

The two boys were in their dormitory, as a spring storm was rattling the windows, admiring their marvelous creation. With Ordinary Wizarding Level (O.W.L.s) exams around the corner, every fifth year student was either in the library studying or in their common rooms cramming - it was hectic , James thought to himself.

“Why don’t we use the map to find out? Might as well double check it works, if you want!” As he said that he noticed two tiny sets of footprints with the names Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew under them, heading towards the Gryffindor tower. “Bingo! Three… two… one…”

“What the hell are you doing there, James Potter? Meddling with our map?”  Sirius' voice rang out as he stormed in, before breaking into laughter. “Were you spying on me, old friend? We both know that the map is broken beyond repair and we can’t get it to work. We’ve tried everything!”

Remus smiled at him as he snatched the map from James’ hands. “Not anymore! Look!”

“No way-” Sirius managed to say.

“You did it! Does that mean I’ll finally stop crawling through the castle’s hidden crevasses as a rat just to look for secret passages?” Peter added with a mischievous grin painted on his face.

James cleared his throat as he began his well-prepared speech for this very moment “MY FELLOW DORMMATES. WE HAVE DONE IT. Today marks a very special moment in the Marauders’ history. From this moment forward, our pranks will be unforgettable, outrageous and downright ridiculous. The map is ready, all thanks to Remus John Lupin who put the time and effort to study about cartography and master the Homonculous Charm; let’s be honest, none of us has the patience of this man. It is fully functional and ready for use. But first, we need to do an encryption spell. If it ever falls into the wrong hands, it has to protect our secrets.”

He looked around at his friends, feeling lucky to have them. He felt over the moon about them and their little achievement. He couldn't stop smiling.

“We were just looking at something like that with Padfoot at the library – that’s where we were, thank you very much for asking Prongs. The book said that we need a ‘passcode’ to reveal the map, and another to conceal it again. We brainstormed some good lines on our way up to Gryffindor tower and I think we’ve nailed it: I Solemnly Swear I’m Up to No Good and Mischief Managed . What do you think?” Peter said while having a smart look on his face.

“Damnit Wormy, you are a genius!” Sirius beamed “James, will you do the honours? Seeing as you are the best at this stuff.” 

With a flick of his wand and with a little guidance from his mates, he had done it. He saw their glorious creation turn to a blank piece of parchment. James taped his wand once again, murmuring the incantation under his breath. Then the map started to regain its ink, and within a couple of seconds, Hogwarts was on it again. “ Mischief Managed ”. Parchment again. He couldn’t believe it. It actually worked.

“Alright Marauders, ground rules.” James announced “Since I’m clearly the most responsible among the four of us, I’m holding it for safekeeping for a while. No one tells anyone else about the code, or this map in general. Not girlfriends, not friends, and definitely not enemies. Got it? But we will all have access to it twentyfour-seven. All you gotta do is say: ‘Prongs, I’m up to no good’. I’ll know what that means and hand over the blank parchment. Are we all in agreement?”

They all nodded in unison.

“Although – Remus interrupted – what if someone does find out? Someone like, I dunno… Snivellus? I mean shouldn’t we put a hexing spell on it, just in case?”

“Professor Moony, I was having the same thought.” Sirius replied “And I think I have an idea. Should we charm it to insult whoever tries to read it? Especially Snape. So instead of our catchy opening phrase ‘ Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present THE MARAUDER'S MAP ’, it displays something humiliating? Ideas?” 

“I’ve got mine already! “ Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.”

“Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Snape is an ugly git.” James added “Your turn Pads.”

“ Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Prefect.”

“And for closing ‘Mr. Wormtail bids Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slime-ball’. "

Sirius burst out laughing “You are the funniest gits I’ve ever met! So, something along those lines will appear every time someone tries to snoop in. You are perfect!”

Night had fallen, and James was lying comfortably in his bed with the curtains drawn. His friends were fast asleep and he occasionally casted Lumos, just to look at the map. 

The map… it was just a stupid piece of parchment. But they made it. All together with Peter’s excursions, with Remus’ spells, with Sirius’ quick fixes, and him, bringing it all together. The idea, the leadership… gave him goosebumps. He couldn’t believe it, they’d done it. At just sixteen, his life was good. Really good. He was so grateful for his friends and every ridiculous thing they’d done together, for this school, for his life…

All these thoughts in his head made him nostalgic. His mind wandered. What if he hadn’t spoken to that certain blue eyed frightened eleven year-old on the train to Hogowarts…? What if he wasn’t sorted into Gryffindor with that boy and hadn’t been put in this dorm with those amazing guys… What would life be like, then? He couldn’t imagine it.

  With these thoughts drifting through his head, he closed his eyes and smiled.

“Goodnight marauders. We made history today. I love you, you stupid blokes”

Chapter Text

Date: 1 May 1976

Sirius

The sun was shining straight into Sirius’ face. After a week of stormy weather, it was refreshing to finally get some sunlight on a Saturday.

It was probably still early in the morning because James was not in his bed; he always had quidditch practice early on Saturday mornings. He glanced over the other two beds. Remus and Peter were still sleeping peacefully. 

Sirius had decided that today was going to be a very productive day. He could study for his O.W.L.s, but even the thought made him itch like he had dragon pox. He knew that he would ace the examination without trying too hard. That was a thing he liked about himself, being naturally good at stuff without putting in too much effort - but nonetheless Remus’ studying had him missing out on the whole academic aspect of school. The truth is he enjoyed his coursework. He loved magic as well as school. But being relatively smart gave him an excuse to slack off, more often than not.

Sirius Black was a complicated kid. His family -mostly his parents- were a pain in his arse. They’d been furious when he got sorted to Gryffindor, given that the Black family was known for their Slytherin lineage and their pureblood obsession. It’s all bollocks , Sirius thought . His brother, on the other hand, was a blessing in disguise. He adored his brother, and that was the truth. Regulus Black was the only light in the hellhole they called home: 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius despised that place. And because of that, he dreaded summer break. At Hogwarts, he could be his silly, carefree self, surrounded by people he loved and who loved him back. Luckily, the summer break was still a month away and that was a relief. There still was time. 

He couldn’t stay in bed any longer. He had to make a great day even greater.

He headed toward the washroom to brush his teeth, fix his hair and begin his day. He stared at the mirror and frowned. He hated what he saw. He wanted to grow his hair long, pierce his ears and who knows what else. Sirius loved the muggle way of expressing oneself.

“One day I'm going to be who I want to be without feeling sad about it.” He muttered to his reflection and headed for the Gryffindor common room.

“Isn’t it early for you Black?” Frank Longbottom, the Gryffindor Head Boy, called out to him from the armchair near the fireplace. 

Frank was a cool guy, always turning a blind eye every time the Marauders were up to something. Sirius liked him. And he was a hell of a head boy, smart, funny and surprisingly laid-back, the whole package.

“I’m going to make a great day greater, Frank”, Sirius smiled.

“Want to join us for breakfast? Alice and I are heading there now.”

“Sure! Why not?”

The three of them strolled toward the Great Hall. Alice was way more extroverted than Frank; she loved small talk and gossip.

“So… Sirius” She said with a shy smile painted on her face, “Any girl on your agenda? We know you like to mess around without attachment and all, but we are curious if there is a special someone for you.”

“Uhmm…”

“Please forgive Alice” Frank whispered into his ear, “ She tends to be a little bit nosy.”

“Haha, don't worry about it, Franky boy, and to answer your question Alice - nope, I’m enjoying the bachelor life. No time for girls for this guy. We’ve got our O.W.L.’s and all that. Also, the only thing I like about girls is snogging them. I’m not boyfriend material. And honestly, I’m happy about it, don't get all sappy on me.”

“M’kay mister… I’ll be sure to inform some acquaintances of mine about this.” Alice said, laughing.

With this and that they reached the Great Hall, which was mostly empty. Very few students came down to eat breakfast. Most of them were fast asleep, it was rather early. Sirius filled his plate up and continued chatting with Frank and Alice until a familiar face entered the Great Hall.

“James! Over here!” Sirius waved him over, “How did you know I was down here for breakfast? Usually I’m sleeping like a pig on Saturday mornings.”

“I swear I'm up to no good, lad.” James said with a wink, “So, have you heard the news? Minnie told me in confidence that we are getting a surprise Hogsmeade visit. Just the fifth-years. For supplies for our OWLs and stuff.”

“Totally unfair! I want to go to Hogsmeade too!” Alice whined, “Frank, can you go with them and take me along??? Pretty pleaaase?” 

“Alice dear, being Head Boy doesn’t mean I can abuse my power for a date.”

Sirius was convinced that they would get married in about a year or two. They were made for each other.

“Wait Prongs, how? And most importantly why? And why didn’t anyone say anything about it earlier?” Sirius asked.

“Dunno mate. Minnie told me not to tell anyone cause she wanted to surprise everyone during dinner. Said something about hard work, exams, etcetera. Honestly, I thought she was joking so I wasn’t really paying attention. But more importantly, why are you up this early? You are definitely not a morning person.”

“Couldn’t sleep. I thought I could make use of the day; Frank saw me in the common room and so we came down for breakfast. Is it really so crazy to wake up before noon on a Saturday?” Sirius had that familiar grin on his face. He enjoyed messing with his friend.

“Pfft, you suddenly sound like me! I like the new Sirius! Ha!” James said, while eating a sausage.

With full stomachs, the boys were heading back to their dorm room to wake Remus and Pete. Sirius always knew that Remus had trouble sleeping in the two weeks leading up to the full moon, but he needed to have fun. He didn't want their last month as fifth-years to be boring. 

“Wakey wakey, my lovely friends” James yelled, throwing open the curtains.

“Prongs, it's too early… It’s Saturday for fuck’s sake, let us sleep” Peter grumbled while pulling his sheets over his head.

“Come on guys! We are going to have a lovely day! Look at the sun, no sign of yesterday’s storm. Also, I’ve got news. Minnie told me that we are going to Hogsmeade tomorrow!”

“Ugh, why do you have to be so happy at-” Remus checked his watch, “ ten o’clock in the morning?”

Sirius then jumped around and yanked the covers of both their beds. “C’mon! I’ve got you both breakfast! For Moony a traditional English breakfast, and for Wormy a yummy hot dog. I know I’m very irresistible. Get up and eat your breakfast.”

With all four of the Marauders awake, a great day had begun. Now the only question remaining in Sirius' head is How to make it greater? He cleared his throat and said “So… what do you want to do today?”

Pete looked over between bites from his breakfast and said “I had an idea. Well, it was more like a dream, but I guess that’s fine, right?”

“That’s my Wormy and his weird dreams! We are all ears” Sirius beamed . 

A plan! That’s how the Marauders make use of a great Saturday.

“Well, it's not huge or that funny but in my dream we convinced Peeves to follow Slytherins around all day, especially in the corridors and loudly sing embarrassing songs about them, tailored for maximum humiliation and irritation. We could come up with a clever verse or two to sing with him, during dinner time or something. In my dream it sounded very funny.”

The room went quiet. Then they all burst out laughing.

“I’ve gotta hand it to you Wormtail, you may be the funniest of us all” James said, wiping tears from his eyes “I think we can think of some verses that rhyme.”

“Okay, I like it,” Remus said, tapping his chin. “Let's think this through, logically. Peeves isn't going to just do that; not when there’s nothing in it for him. We gotta bribe him with something.”

“Prongs, did you say something about Hogsmeade?” Sirius chimed in, a spark of mischief in his eyes. “What if we promise to get him something from Zonko’s Joke shop? He’d like that, wouldn't he?”

 And with that, Remus and James began brainstorming ideas for a catchy song, while Sirius and Peter grabbed the map to find Peeves and tell him their awesome idea.

⛤⛤⛤

By lunchtime they had every tiny detail planned. Peeves had eagerly agreed to the plan; why wouldn't he? The prank would kick off during dinner and would continue until curfew. It was perfect. It was the greater day Sirius had imagined when he woke up. 

The marauders strutted down to dinner whistling the melody of their new song; they couldn’t help it, it was stuck in their heads. More and more people started entering the Great Hall. Before dinner was served, Professor McGonagall tapped her glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention.

*Clink clink*

“My dear students” She began - her sharp Scottish accent as crisp as ever. “I have a very special announcement. Tomorrow after lunch, the fifth-year students will be taken for a short excursion to Hogsmeade. All the teaching staff have noticed how hard you’ve been working on your exams, the first challenging set of examinations. We would like to acknowledge your efforts with a reward. Thank you for your time. Enjoy your dinner.” And with a whisk of her wand, the tables filled with food.

The whole Great Hall was filled with laughs and chatting. Sirius smirked and thought it was the perfect diversion.

“Is she okay? What was that?” Lily Evans muttered to her friends.

“It’s okay to have fun every once in a while, y’know.” Sirius said to the red -haired girl sitting beside him.

“Like you care about school, Black.” She shot back.

“I do care though, I just don't only care about school. Speaking of fun…” a mischievous smile started forming in his face.

“Oh no, Black what did you do?” Lily asked, eyes widening.

“Chill, Evans” said James, giving her a charming smile, “you are gonna love it. Just sit tight and eat your dinner.”

 As soon as the headmaster ate and left -Sirius had noticed that Dumbledore seemed to be absent more frequently lately- the boys gave the signal to Peeves. Let the mischief begin.

Peeves began:

“I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. LISTEN ALL. LISTEN ALL. I call this: The Slytherin Serenade” He began to sing off tune to the most horribly funny lyrics. Most of them were his own invention but the marauders had given him a few gems. What a clever ghost. 

“This is the prank of the year ” Sirius muttered under his breath to his friends 

“Green and silver, sleek and sly,

Always scheming, don’t know why.

Talk of blood and ancient pride

But run for cover when pranks collide!”

The whole Great Hall exploded with laughter. Sirius almost choked on his pumpkin juice from laughing as he looked over at the Slytherin table and all of them were red as tomatoes. He almost felt bad for them. Some of them even stormed out to the dungeons. But it was all planned. Peeves was following them and continuing singing louder than before. It was a blast. Then, all of a sudden, magical megaphones appeared out of nowhere, echoing the song down in every corridor. The snakes couldn't escape the song.

It was glorious.

Later that night, the Gryffindor boys were back in their dorm, getting ready for bed, faces still aching from laughing all evening.

“That's what I call a great day, my fellow pranksters.” Sirius declared, “And no one will know it was our idea; Peeves has a tendency to do funny stuff like that. Goodnight guys.”

“Goodnight, Pads” Remus said.

“Yup, it was crazy funny, good job Wormy. What would we have done without you?” James said, turning over in his bed.

“Pffft blame my dreams, not me haha.” Peter mumbled, already half asleep. “G’night.”

Chapter Text

Date: 2 May 1976

Peter

The last Hogsmeade trip of the fifth year. Another year was coming to an end. This had been a good one for Peter Pettigrew. He and his friends knew how to make a moment last forever. Peter believed that the memories he made with the Marauders would stay with him until he died. He believed that their friendship was going to last a lifetime and beyond.

 If you asked Peter, he’d say that he wasn’t even supposed to be sorted into Gryffindor; he was a coward half of the time and a dumb teenager the other half. He couldn’t compare to his friends. But somehow, they saw something in him that he couldn’t see in himself. 

He often wondered what James Potter saw in him - what made him like him. They’d been friends as long as he could remember. Their parents were friends, so naturally, their kids would become friends too. He vividly remembers the first time they got brooms for their birthdays. They couldn’t stop playing in Potter’s yard, flying around and laughing. Although James had always known his way around a broom way better than anyone else, he never made Peter feel like a failure for not hitting a Quaffle or losing control.

1st of September 1971 came, as they boarded the Hogwarts Express, on their way to school. Pete was terrified. He was anxious about school. James will find cooler friends than me , he thought. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Both of them were thrilled about being sorted into the same house, and even better, in the same dormitory. 

 He liked James. He knew him better than anyone else in the whole world. As the year went by, he came to like his other friends too. But it was nothing compared to James.

Wormtail was daydreaming during lunch; suddenly a familiar voice snapped him back.

“Oii Wormyyy? Are you there, mate?”

It was James. What were they talking about? Peter couldn’t even tell how long he’d zoned out.

“Yup, I'm here. Just thinking about stuff. What were you saying?”

Remus Lupin took the lead now “So our plans for the trip are: First Zonko’s, for Peeves, then Three broomsticks for a nice cold butterbeer and then we head out to get our quills and whatnots for our OWLs. Anyone want to add anything to our plan? Keep in mind we are on a tight schedule. Just two hours in Hogsmeade. Tch - what a joke.” He rolled his eyes with annoyance.

Remus might have been the most timid out of them, but when he had something on his mind, he made sure it happened.

“Lads, lads…” James leaned forward with a grin. “You’re forgetting our tradition. End of the year Gryffindor party. After the exams. It’s settled. So we are going to need supplies. Y’know, firewhiskey and stuff. We could go to Hogsmeade again through the hidden passages, but since we are going to be there, let's just get everything now.” James' voice was full of excitement. “I got us covered. My parents' allowance is way too much already, so why not put it to good use?”

They had a plan. They always had a plan. Peter liked that his friends were so prepared and determined. Made everything run much smoother.

Right on schedule, just as Professor McGonagall had arranged, the fifth-year students were all gathered in the courtyard, ready for the departure.

Upon arrival in Hogsmeade, McGonagall addressed the students:

“My dear students, it is now three o’clock. We are going to gather again here, at five o'clock, outside of Three Broomsticks. Be cautious, me and Professor Flitwick are going to be checking on you from time to time for any suspicious activity. There is going to be a head count. Don’t get into funny business. We’ll know.” She was looking straight into the Marauders during that last part. “Have fun and get all your supplies now. I remind you that you are going to be needing extra pieces of parchment and extra quills. Do not forget!”

The boys headed straight for Zonko’s Shop. Peter loved that shop. This was the place where it all started. Sirius had been the first one to suggest pulling a prank. He’d spotted a dungbomb and proposed putting it in the Prefect's bathroom. Crazy idea, but it worked. And the rest was history… 

Their next stop was the Three Broomsticks. On a hot spring day like this one, they needed their traditional cold butterbeer. James went to fetch them all a drink, while the other three boys chatted.

“I’m going to need all the help I can get for the O.W.L.s. Especially for History of Magic. Binns is so fucking boring, I can’t pay attention to him! It’s so annoying!” Peter said with clear desperation in his voice.

“Don’t worry Wormtail.” Sirius said, patting him on the back. “You are going to ace your exams. All of us will. We could set up study groups. For example, James can teach us Transfiguration and Potions, Remus will save our arses in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and I’ll help with the History of Magic and Charms. And you, Wormy, will teach us Herbology and Astronomy. It is settled. We will help each other.”

James returned, standing right behind them with four butterbeers in his hands. “Sounds like a plan. But just so you know, I’m just as good at charms as you are, Sirius!”

“There is our modest king. Thank you, Prongs; for the drinks.” Remus said shyly, accepting his drink. “Does anyone know the exam schedule? I don’t want them clashing with the full moon.”

“I got it! I made sure to grab the schedule. Ah, here it is.” said Peter, rummaging through his backpack and placing the piece of parchment on the table.

The parchment read:

“Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Ordinary Wizarding Level Exams Schedule (Year 1976):

All the exams are to take place in the Great Hall at 8:00. Special anti-cheating spells will be cast. Being caught will result in immediate failure.

Charms: 17 May 1976

Ancient Runes: 19 May 1976

Transfiguration: 21 May 1976

Divination: 24 May 1976

Defence Against the Dark Arts: 26 May 1976

Astronomy: 28 May 1976

Herbology: 31 May 1976

Potions: 2 June 1976

History of Magic: 4 June 1976

Arithmancy:7 June 1976

Care of Magical Creatures: 9 June 1976

Muggle Studies: 11 June 1976

Resit exams will take place from 12 June through 14 June.”

“Phew, okay. No funny business. I will not be retaking any of these. My furry little problem isn’t going to be an issue this year.” Remus said relieved.

Peter was glad Remus had come to terms with his condition. They had all been very compassionate and always tried to make it look as normal as it could be. It’s not every day one becomes an illegal Animagi to help their friend through a full moon. With the moon so close, Remus would be on edge all week. But they would manage. They always did.

“So Moony,” Sirius said, glancing carefully at his friend. “After the exams, we’ve got just one week plus a day until we leave for summer vacation. Will you be okay with the ride back on the train? We could ask Minnie to let us stay a day or two more.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Padfoot. No need. I know you’ll take care of me.”

And just like that, the marauders were chatting, laughing and having fun. Peter took a glance at the watch on his wrist.

Shit. 

“Erm guys, sorry to break it to you but we are way behind schedule. It’s ten past four. We don't have time to get both the party and school supplies.”

“Ah, bugger. Okay, new plan” James said quickly. “Since we didn’t notice the time. We’ll split up. Me and Pads are going to get the firewhiskey, Rosmerta always spares a bottle or two for her favourite Gryffindors. Wormy and Moony are going to get us all the school stuff. Here, take some money and get everything you think we’ll need. Times four. Go and we’ll meet back outside the pub.”

The two pairs of boys split up and went to run their errands. Peter had always been somewhat intimidated by Remus. When he first found out about his lycanthropy, he’d been scared out of his pants. But over time, he realized it’s not as scary as he thought.

 Remus was well organised and had already made a list of things they needed.

“Okay, so firstly we need new and clean cauldrons for potions. Ceridwen's Cauldrons is our first stop. Next on the list is Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. Then I thought we could go to Honeydukes and stock up on our supplies. I’m going to need all the chocolate I can carry. Also, we could get something for the party too. Prongs gave me way too much money; we gotta support a noble cause.”

“Totally agree, Moony. You are an evil genius. I love it!”

By the time all four of them regrouped, bags in hand, the sun was slowly setting. It was time to head back. McGonagall did the final head count, and they returned to the castle.

The night fell peacefully over the grounds of Hogwarts.

 Soon they would be enforcing their study groups. Peter hated studying. He was good at magic; he became an illegal animagi at the age of thirteen for fuck’s sake. But that didn’t matter for his final exams.

As long as he had his friends, nothing could really go wrong. Right?

Chapter Text

Date: 13 May 1976

Remus

Here we go again. It’s just another one of those days. Full moon.

Remus had many weaknesses, but the worst was his condition. He was always agitated and anxious on full moon mornings. He hated how he acted on those days. Mostly, though, he hated his father, even if he shouldn't. It wasn’t his fault. 

Oh, but it kind of was…

 Remus had been attacked by the werewolf Fernir Greyback when he was just a child, an act of Greyback's revenge against Lyall Lupin. His parents shielded him from the details of that horrific day. And he didn’t really care. All that mattered was that once a month he became an uncontrollable, fearsome and deadly wolf. A beast that would kill their best friends or loved ones if given the chance. And he hated that. 

Before Hogwarts, the full moons were pure torture. His parents locked him down in the basement of their home, a room Lyall had enchanted to be indestructible. The wolf hated the fact that he couldn’t escape; that he couldn’t break the chains that held him down there. He hated the walls. The wolf only wanted to run. To hunt. To kill…

Even at Hogwarts, it wasn't much better; at least at first. Madam Pomfrey handled his lycanthropy the same way his parents had; locked away in isolation. In an abandoned house in Hogsmeade, the Shrieking Shack. Once again, the wolf hated being trapped and chained. But it was the safest option not only for him but also for others. And Remus would rather suffer alone than risk hurting somebody.

The Matron at Hogwarts was kind. And a very competent Healer. She cared for Remus as if he was her own child. She tented his wounds, always trying different potions each moon to soothe the beast. None ever worked but he was grateful that she even tried. 

Εverything changed thanks to three boys who adored him. His friends had figured out he was a werewolf around the second year. They noticed the times he felt ill, or the days he had to spend on the infirmary, or the multiple scars that the wolf had caused in Remus’ beautiful face. But instead of recoiling, his friends leaned in.  They stayed.

Then one day, during the second term of the third year, they showed him what they’d been working on; his friends had become illegal Animagi to help him through the moon. 

They didn't fully understand the severity of his condition. Remus was adamant that they should not join him on full moon nights, but it all changed that night, when a stag and a big black dog led the wolf out of the Shrieking Shack and into the Forbidden Forest. That night was the easiest full moon of his life. When he woke up he was alone again. But with no major fractures, not many scars on his body, nothing too terrible. 

The wolf got what he always wanted. To run. To hunt…

Freedom.

Ever since that day, the full moons weren’t quite so horrible. It was just something Remus had to endure. Nothing more. A fact of his life.

This morning was the same as every other morning of a full moon. He had dragged himself out of bed, to go to class. Remus loved school; just not when it was one of those days.

It was the last week of fifth year. Exams loomed next week, and afterwards, summer vacation. Today’s classes were revision for O.W.L.s. The Marauders had already set their study groups so they were well prepared for every subject. The thing that was stressing Remus out, once again, was the moon. Though his friends made the process easier, it still was not a pleasant experience. 

Around noon time, Remus was in his dorm, getting ready to go to the infirmary; he always met Madam Pomfrey there, and together they headed to the Shrieking Shack. She didn’t need to guide him anymore; he was sixteen. But he always appreciated her presence.

“Hello Moony,” Sirius said, leaning against the doorframe , “You ready for today? Got everything? Me and Prongs are going to be there at eight o’clock sharp. We’ll have about half an hour before your transformation.”

“Yup, same old, same old.” Remus was rummaging for an old t-shirt. He couldn’t meet Sirius’ eyes. He always felt self conscious of his transformation.

“Y’know you don’t have to be embarrassed about this. We are all in this together. And for what it's worth, it’s not as bad as you think it is. What is life without risks and adventure?” Sirius replied, smiling.

“Thanks Pads. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I should probably head down now. See you later.”

Upon arriving at the infirmary, Madam Pommfrey was ready and waiting for him. Remus liked her. She was kind, supportive and more importantly, she understood his condition. He felt safe with her. 

“Hello, Madam Pomfrey” Remus greeted her with a little shy wave. “Are you doing okay, this fine evening?”

“Oh, Remus, don’t tease me! I can tell when I'm being fooled! Good to see you again, my boy.” Her voice was crisp as air, but full of warmth. “Are you ready for today?”

“Yes ma'am. With exams coming up, I’m thrilled about today! Can’t you see it in my face?”

“It’s okay to be upset about it, Remus.” she said gently. “And I'm here for you. If you want to talk to me about it. I can understand if your friends don’t quite get this whole thing.”

“I…” Remus didn’t like to share his personal matters with others. He wanted to, but the words always got caught in his throat. “I want to. I just… I don’t think I can. Not yet. Thank you, though. It means a lot ma’am.”

The walk to the Shrieking shack was as silent as ever. 

“I’ll be here in the morning. Be safe, Remus.”

And once again, he was all alone. Waiting. Mostly for his friends. He needed the distraction. Something to take his mind off his thoughts.

It was now past eight. “Where are they?” He muttered to himself. “Ugh I guess something came up. Not surprised. It’s okay Remus, they are with you every moon they can. You can handle this alone. You’ve done it before many times. Nothing to stress about.”
Remus always spoke to himself when he was alone. He found it comforting. He couldn’t bear being alone in silence. It was too heavy.

He had to wait and face the wolf alone tonight. It had been a while since that happened. 

Remus didn’t really remember anything during his transformations. The only memories retained were the things his friends told him. Deep down he was glad he didn’t; it would make the whole experience a lot harder than it already was.

⛤⛤⛤

He woke up from a deep slumber, cold and weak. Dawn light slipped through the cracked windows of the Shack. A blanket covered him.

“Good Morning, sunshine.” Sirius was slouched in an old chair beside him, a solemn look on his face.

“The fuck are you doing here, Padfoot? Madam Pomfrey may come to get me any minute now. Get out now! Also, where were you last night?” 

Remus was snappish and defensive due to his state. He didn’t like anyone seeing him like that. But truthfully, he enjoyed the company.

“C’mon Moony, relax. You think I’m that dumb? Poppy comes around 7:30; it’s 6:30 now. And if she decides to come earlier, Wormtail will know. He has the map and Prongs will rush over to notify me. Besides, I figured you’ll enjoy having someone to keep you company.”

“Thanks but no need.” Remus muttered under his breath.

“Look, I know you are being stubborn now, but in time, you’ll learn that a friendly Padfoot is damn good company.”

“Pfft whatever, Sirius. Anywho, what’s the damage from last night? How hideous do I look?” He knew he had hurt himself - his whole body throbbed. He could feel the burning.

“Ah mate, don’t worry about it. You still look good. Poppy will fix you up in a jiffy. And for the record, girls think scars are hot.”

Shit. 

That could only mean one thing…

He rushed to the closest window, hoping to see his reflection clear enough to see what the wolf did to him this time.

  “Shit…”

A lengthy crimson wound ran from the nape of his neck, over his left shoulder, and down through his chest. No turtleneck would cover that up; and with summer coming up he was fucked. 

“Sirius what the fuck happened last night???”

Sirius sighed . “Look, it is our fault. We were caught up on our way here by some Slytherin idiots. By the time we snuck out and transformed, the wolf was already pissed. Prongs did his best, trying to calm him down. And he did, after some wrestling. Prongs is okay now, don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault.”

“Sirius. Where is James? D-did i hurt him?” fear and panic was now swallowing him whole.

“As I said, he’s okay now. Took Peter a few failed attempts with a healing spell and some fair amount of dittany, but he is okay. Really, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius. That’s why I don’t want you to come with me! I’m a monster. You know it. James and Peter know it. And that’s the truth. Don’t you dare deny it. Fuck.. I hurt James… Look Sirius, I think it's time to leave now. I want to be alone. Thanks for the company.” 

“But Moony-”

“I said leave. Now.”

And just like that, Sirius transformed into a big black dog, tail lowered. 

He had hurt one of his best friends. He couldn’t believe it. Remus could deal with the aftermath of a full moon. But causing harm to James... That was something else. Tears started forming in his eyes as he lay on that rotten old wooden bed, sobbing.

And alone.

He deserved it…

About an hour later, just as Sirius had said, he heard footsteps approaching. Madam Pomfrey was near.

“Good morning, my boy. How was tonight? Are you okay? Ah.. That’s fine, dear. I can fix this in a jiffy. Can you walk?”

He followed the matron with his head down, embarrassed. Once they reached the infirmary, Poppy began some healing incantations and applied some odd paste all across his newly formed wound. He instantly felt better. He wasn’t in pain, but the scar would remain and remind him of the beast he is.

“Excuse me, Miss… Can I go back to my dorm now? I’m feeling much better and I have a lot of studying to do. I don’t want to fail my first O.W.L. exam.”

Madam Pomfrey was very understanding and let him go. 

He had to check on James. He had to see the damage he caused for himself. 

Remus was practically running through the empty castle, trying to reach Gryffindor tower. Despite his exhaustion and his pain, he had to make sure James was safe and sound. 

Outside of the common room, the Fat Lady was sleeping peacefully.

“Lionheart.” he said urgently.

No answer.

“I said, Lionheart.”

With an annoyed grunt, the fat lady cracked one eye open and sighed. Without a word, she swung open the door.

Just a few more stairs.

Upon entering his dorm, the other marauders were sleeping. Remus sat on the floor beside James’ bed.

“Imperturbable” he whispered under his breath. He wanted to speak with James without waking the others.

James was sleeping on his side. He looked peaceful. And unharmed. But Remus had to be sure.

“Pstt, James”

“ Yawwwn Oh hi Monny. Everything okay?” 

Remus locked his eyes at James’ right upper arm as he sat up. It was all wrapped up in bandages. Half of him had wanted to believe Sirius was exaggerating. He wanted to believe Sirius was joking, but he wouldn’t joke about something that crucial.

“What the fuck are you asking me? I should be asking you! I hurt you James, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it!” tears were once again forming in his eyes, “You shouldn't come again next time! Let me take it all. The pain, the risk. Everything. I didn’t-”

“Remus, let me stop you right here” James interrupted, his voice calm but firm as he sat up on his bed “We know the risks of doing what we’re doing. No one is blaming you. I know I’m not. It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it. You could never. I know you wouldn’t.”

“Prongs… I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to forgive myself. It’s awful. I’m awful. I’m sorry. Really.”

“You didn’t mean it, Moony. It’s okay. I forgive you. Twice over; enough for me and you. Don’t worry about it. Really.”

Remus was now crying. He didn’t deserve a friend as good as James. 

“Thanks. I’m okay now. Just promise me you won’t come along next moon. Please.”

“Not gonna happen, lad.” James grinned, even through his tiredness. “I can’t promise you that. We both know that we’ll come. Me and Pads will always be there to help you out. And we will always leave poor Wormy on lookout.”

Remus managed a weak laugh through his tears.

“Now go to bed. You need sleep. And frankly, I do too. We aren’t going to wake you anytime soon. When you get up, we will probably be in the common room studying. Goodnight Moony.”

“Thank you James. I don’t deserve you. Thank you!”

Sleep came easy, especially after a long night like this. One of the potions Madam Pomfrey always gave Remus was the Dreamless Sleep potion. He took a sip, the warmth running down his throat, and soon, his eyes began to close…

Chapter Text

Date: 28 May 1976

Lily

Lily had just left the Great Hall, feeling satisfied with herself. The exams were the only time she could prove that she was as good at magic as any of those pureblood idiots. Hell, she was the best in her year . Lily knew that she could get an O (Outstanding) in every subject. 

Once again, she had proven herself; even in Astronomy. It wasn’t her favourite, but she could still score perfect marks. 

It wasn’t lunchtime yet, so she had some time to kill. A stroll near the lake then. She loved Hogwarts this time of year.

 Book in hand, she settled against the trunk of a familiar tree and continued reading. It was peaceful; not a sign of anyone else nearby. Just Lily and her book. 

After a while she heard someone approaching, “Ugh, why can’t I read my book in peace?” she thought to herself.

“Hello, Lily” a familiar voice echoed in her ears.

“Sev! What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing! But I suppose you're here for the same reason as me. Peace and quiet after the exam.

“Yup, you know it.”

Lily smiled. She enjoyed Severus’ company. He was her oldest friend. He was the one that showed her that she was not a freak, but extraordinary. They had grown up together from a  large industrial town located in the midlands of England, Cokeworth… That’s where her journey into the wizarding world had begun.

⛤⛤⛤

Back then, her sister hated her for it. 

“Lily, don't do it! Mummy told you not to!” Petunia’s voice echoed in the background.

 Lily was swinging so high up on the swing. She let go at the very height of its arc and flew into the air, launched herself skyward with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, she soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly. (1)

“But Tuney, look. I’m unharmed!” she said, stepping forward and showing her hands.

 “Look what more I can do!” she said as she plucked a flower bud from a nearby bush.

Petunia hesitated at first, but curiosity got the better of her and moved closer. Lily held out her palm. The flower instantly began to bloom and grow larger and fuller with each second.

“Stop it now! It’s not right!” 

Tuney didn’t approve of her magic, and that day had made it painfully clear, for the very first time.

“But I’m not doing anything wrong. Look, it's beautiful!” Lily gazed at the flower alone, mesmerized by how pretty it was.

“I’m telling Mommy and Daddy! You are a freak, Lily!” Petunia said as she was running towards the house.

Lily’s eyes were now filled with tears; her sister thought she was a freak. 

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” an unfamiliar voice interrupted her thoughts. A boy about her age, with overlong black hair and mismatched clothes stood nearby. “I know what you are. You’re a witch. And that’s okay, I'm a wizard too.”

That was the moment her life changed forever.

 During the middle of July of 1971, an extraordinary, middle-aged woman had made a surprising visit to her house. She was holding a letter. Addressed to her. It read:  

HOGWARTS SCH OOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms Evans,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts Scho ol of Witchcraft and Wizardry . Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September . We await your owl by no later than 31 July .

Yours sincerely,

Deputy Headmistress

As she read the letter, Petunia's voice came shrieking down the staircase “You are a freak! I’m glad you’ll be going to that freak school! At least I won't have to see your face every day!”

And just like that, Lily had only Severus to lift her up. 

Her parents didn’t understand what all this meant, but they were supportive. Lily needed more than just support. She needed a friend; and Severus was there for her, just like he was here now.

⛤⛤⛤

“I’m just letting off some steam after today’s exam. I’m so glad that I won’t have Astronomy next year. I’m definitely not choosing it for next term.”

“But Lily, Astronomy is a very important subject. You can’t study potions without Astronomy, y’know. The two subjects are intertwined, strangely enough.”

“Ah Sev, I know how much you adore potions. And I do too, don’t get me wrong. But Professor Griffiths is frankly so boring, to be completely honest. And also, I think he hates me!”

“I don’t think he hates you specifically, just… the world in general.” he said with a laugh.

That was true, Lily thought. The world was evolving into something dark. Something terrible. From what she could gather, the future held a war. A big war. And Lily intended to be a part of this. She was a fighter and everyone knew that. She was the type of girl that would stand up against any injustice. Some called her defiant. But she didn’t care.

 But she could not stand by and witness younger students being hated on for something as absurd as their blood status. She knew that pain all too well. In her early years at Hogwarts she had experienced the same and worse. Even now, it hasn't stopped; just the other day someone had called her mudblood, in the hallway… But she had learned not to let it affect her. Not anymore. Still, Lily didn’t want others to feel the way she had felt back then.

“Speaking of the world, Severus. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Of course. What is troubling you?”

“Actually… you. You and the company you keep.” She hesitated for a second, then continued. “I don’t want you hanging out with Mulciber and Dolohov. Can’t you see that they are blood supremacists?”

“Lily, I-”

“No!” she cut in, firmly. “I don’t want to hear excuses, Sev. You know what kind of people they are, and frankly, I think they are bad for you. They are a bad influence. Do they even know that you’re friends with a mudblood?”

“Lily, don’t say that word. And I know they are not good people; I’m not like them. I’d never be. But Lils, they are my dormmates. I can’t just stop talking to them, it's not that simple. As if you don’t do the same thing with Potter and Black. They are purebloods too, but you don’t seem to bat an eye at that, do you?”

Severus was being defensive. She hated when he got like that.

“Potter and Black may be arseholes,” she said sharply, “but they are not blood supremacists. And obviously, you’re in no right mind to talk about that right now. That’s fine. But just so you know, Mary McDonald came to our dorm yesterday crying, saying that she was hexed by one of your so-called friends. And I keep getting called a mudblood time and time again. Luckily, James Potter is a decent enough healer and helped her out. So don’t go hating on the wrong people, Severus.”

Lily stood up. She had had enough. As much as she loved the peace by the lake, she would much rather be with her fellow housemates; as loud as they were. Severus was going down a path she couldn’t follow.

“Lily don’t go… Please…”

Severus' words echoed in her mind as she walked away. Of course he couldn't just cut off all interaction with those guys, but he could at least stop being their friend. Ever since they were sorted into different houses, their bond had weakened. Lily was sure she could save the most sacred friendship she had. And she would try her best to achieve it. 

Upon reaching the Gryffindor tower, Lily noticed a few students, mostly younger than her, nervously clustered behind the Fat Lady’s portrait. 

“What the fuck? Not another prank by the Marauders, please.” she muttered under her breath. As luck would have it, unfortunately for her, James Potter was standing right beside her.

“Oi! That’s not our doing! We would never ever write something so revolting. And I'm offended that you even thought it was us.”

She turned her head sharply, and noticed a huge scar on his right upper arm. When did he get hurt? And why the hell was she even looking at his arm? She couldn’t help but feel concerned.

“You okay, Potter? When did you get that?” She said with a concerned look on her face.

“Aww you’re so cute when you worry, Evans. It’s nothing. Got hurt when trying a new spell. The old thing backfired at me. I’m okay, though!” he said with a charming smile.

Snapping out of it, she realized she still hadn’t seen what all the commotion was about. She stood on her tippy toes, peering over the crowd…

And then she saw it. 

Above the portrait, two sentences were written in thick red paint - or was it blood?

“Gryffindor: House of blood traitors and mudbloods.

Things are about to change for the better. Beware.”

“I’m getting Frank. James, go fetch Dumbledore and McGonagall. Now.”

James bolted without hesitation.

In a jiffy, Lily found Frank in the library; exactly where she thought he’d be, studying for his N.E.W.T.s. They run back to the Fat Lady together. By the time they returned, James was already there, with Professor McGonagall at his side.

“Excuse me, I’m the head boy! What’s happening here? Oh shit…” Frank’s voice was filled with fear as he saw the message.

“Quite right, Mr. Longbottom.” said McGonagall, her lips pressed into a tight line. She was in such a shock she didn’t even correct Frank's language. “The Headmaster is not in the premises for the time being, but I’ll get to the bottom of this. Longbottom, please ensure that every student is unharmed and escort them to the Great Hall. Get them ready for lunch and I’ll be with you shortly. Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, I’d like you to stay here with me for a moment.” 

She turned to them both, her tone softening but still brisk.

“With the headmaster being absent at the current time, I’ll need your help. Potter, you know your way around the castle, I assume. Please secure the area and see if there’s anything suspicious or connected to this message. As for you, Miss Evans, I’d like you to check on the Muggle-born students. I know it’s a lot to ask, but you are a strong young woman and a role model to many younger students. Please and thank you, my dears.”

Lily felt obligated to help. She didn’t hesitate one bit.

She headed straight to the Great Hall. As she moved among the students, she gently checked on those who looked more shaken. Her calm voice and natural warmth slowly began to draw attention.

“There is nothing wrong with being Muggle-born. ”She said to a third-year girl from Ireland named Eileen. (2) “It does not define your worth in the slightest. I’m going to let you in on a little secret, I’m muggle-born and I’m the best in my year. Ha! Take that purebloods!” A few nervous giggles broke through the tension. Lily smiled.

“What are you all staring at me for?” she added playfully. “I’m just here for moral support!”

“It’s just… you speak with so much wisdom. We need a little hope right now.” said a short brown, eyed boy peeking out from behind a group of students. (3) “Even us, with both wizarding parents, are scared, y’know. This affects us all.”

“I know it does, guys. That’s why we should stick together. No matter what. Together, we fight this obscurity.”

As the students nodded and murmured in agreement, Lily spotted Remus Lupin watching her with a focused gaze from across the hall. He moved closer to talk to her.

“You were great there, Lily.” he said, a warm smile. “Helping students like that. It’s very kind of you.” 

“I mean, I was only speaking the truth. Nothing more, nothing less. Thanks though. When I realized that a lot of people were listening, I started to panic.”

“Hah! You? Anxious?” Remus chuckled. “Well, that’s new. I think of you as the most confident person I know. Even Padfoot couldn’t pull off what you just did.”

Lily smiled at that. She appreciated Remus’ company. They could talk about anything and everything. He knew when to be serious and when to joke. 

Suddenly, she noticed a new prominent scar on Remus’ neck. She knew that Remus suffered from a rare untreatable illness, but she couldn't help but feel worried about her friend.

“Remus, are you okay? I mean for real. And don’t bullshit me.”

“Pftt, I’m fine. Madame Pomfrey got me hooked on a whole line of pastes and potions. I swear, I'm not in pain. I’m okay.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Lily said, though her tone made it clear she wasn’t convinced.  “But if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. You can trust me.”

Then, out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted a crying first-year being comforted by two friends. 

“Ah, duty calls. Gotta run. We’ll talk later, Remus. Don’t be a stranger, alright?”

Chapter Text

Date: 12 June 1976

Severus

Another school year had come to an end. Another summer he’d have to spend in his maddening little town with his parents. He couldn’t wait to become an adult. Then, he could live alone, free and be the great potion maker he knew he was destined to be. 

Potions were so much like people. They needed caution, meticulousness, effort and even affection. One wrong stir of the ladle, and the entire concoction could explode in seconds. 

Severus often wondered why people never came as easily to him as potions did. Talking and connecting with others was the hardest thing he could ever do. He hadn’t made any friends in Slytherin House. All of them were either stupid or cruel. The only one who understood him was Lily Evans. So sweet, so perfect… And once again, he had messed up things with her.

They haven’t spoken a word since that cursed day by the lake. 

Severus wished he could go back and choose better words. But that’s what he always did: said the wrong thing at the worst possible time. Lily was mad at him. And she had every right to be. That bothered him most. He was, indeed, spending time with Mulciber and his gang. But only because they seemed to understand him more than anyone else in the House. 

Severus decided to go to the lake, hoping Lily would be there. He had noticed that she liked sitting alone near that part of the castle. 

They had to talk before they left Hogwarts.

He knew Lily struggled more with each passing summer. Her sister always treated her like an intruder, and Lily hated being isolated from her world, from magic. It was all very hard on her. Although, once, having just Severus had been enough. But not anymore. Now every summer, Lily seems more distant, more tired of everything.

Walking towards the famous lake, his heart gave a small leap. There she was. He saw her; her beautiful red hair, her charming figure… But this time she wasn’t alone. He squinted, trying to make sense of the shapes around her. He had to get closer. 

While approaching the lake, he saw four stupid boys and three girls. Severus guessed that the girls were her dormmates, Mary McDonald, Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows. Her roommates. Fine. The boys on the other hand, were none other than the Marauders. What the hell was she doing with them?

Severus Severus stood behind a tree, watching. He had figured out something terrible about the Marauders. Something no one else did. Something dangerous. He wasn’t absolutely sure yet, but he had to make sure Lily was safe, and not associating herself with their kind. 

Remus Lupin was a Werewolf. 

Just the thought made his spine chill. He’d pieced it together over the last few moons. The sneaking out during curfew, the way Lupin always vanished near the full moon and returned with mysterious scars on his face and body. He had crafted the perfect plan to find out if he was right. 

During the last moon, he bribed Mulciber’s gang to hex Potter and Black around curfew time. And funnily enough, the next morning, Potter had bandages on his arm, and Lupin was nowhere to be seen. Potter had been spreading a lie that he’d hurt himself experimenting with a new spell. As if. He would bet his life that Remus was too ashamed to show his face to his fellow Gryffindors. All that Gryffindor pride. What a joke. 

Nonetheless, confirmed what Severus already suspected.

Remus Lupin was a Werewolf.

He had to let Lily know, given that today was a full moon. 

He had to warn her. He had to save her.

“Look who the cat dragged in! Happy summer holidays, Snivellus!” Sirius Black sneered, glancing at his friends for approval.

“What do you want, Snivellus? Can’t you see we are having fun here? You here to ruin it, or just looking to get hexed again?” James called out as he strutted towards him.

“None of your business, Potter. I need to speak to Lily. In private.” he turned to face her “Please, it’s important.”

Lily gave a wary glance to her friends but nodded. They stepped a few feet away from the group and Severus began “First of all, I want to say I’m sorry for the way I acted last time. I didn’t mean to-”

“Let me stop you right there, Sev.” Lily cut him off “I know you better than everyone else. I know what you want to say. I’m not mad about what you said or how you acted. I’m sick of you hanging out with those guys. They’re not just bullies. They are dangerous.”

“Lily, be reasonable, I don’t have anyone else except you. I despise everyone else. I-”

“Is that all, Severus?”

“No! Wait! Lily, I know I’ve been wrong about stuff before but you gotta hear me out.”

Lily crossed her arms around her chest, awaiting Severus’ next words.

“I need you to stay away from the Marauders. It’s not jealousy. They are the dangerous ones, Lily. I’m positive that Remus is a-”

“I’m not interested, Severus. I know you don’t approve of my friends. Well, I don't approve of your friends either. So cut the crap.”

“Did I just hear our name, James?” Sirius interrupted, like an ill-timed cuckoo clock “Are you spreading rumors about us to your girlfriend, Snivellus? How about we teach him a lesson, Prongs?” 

“Levicorpus” James shouted, laughing as Severus was hoisted into the air, upside down, his robes falling over his face.

“Prongs! Let him down this instant!” Remus sounded, his voice sharper than Severus had ever heard.

James hesitated but lowered his wand.

Severus hit the ground hard. Now he was pissed. He pointed his wand at Potter, who was standing a few feet behind Black. He wanted the spell to hit James.

“Sectumsempra” a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’ face, spattering his robes with blood. 

“Stop it, Severus! Now! Please, I beg you!” Lily cried.

“Petrificus totalus” Peter yelled, and Severus froze mid-motion, his limbs locked.

“All of you fucking stop! Okay?” Lily reversed the paralysis curse and rushed to James. She couldn’t heal the wound, but she forced Severus to do it. “Severus, reverse the curse right at this moment!”

Severus knelt, muttering the counter-curse with a trembling voice. “There. It’s done.”

James was now on his feet. “You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” 

He regretted the words instantly. Why had he said that? Fucking stupid.

Lily blinked. Tears started forming in her eyes. “Fine,” she said coolly. “I won’t bother in the future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus. Seems like you pissed yourself a little.” (1)

Sirius stepped forward, livid. “Oh no. You didn’t fucking just say that.” Sirius growled, looking angrier than even Remus. “You want to play dirty, you little snake? Why don't you go fuck off along and play with your chemistry set?”

“Try me, Black. Fucking try me!” 

“Oh, you betcha.” Sirius stepped right up to him and was now within breathing distance. He leaned in, his voice low, he whispered to him.

“I know what you think about Remus. We overheard you, you dumb fuck. Wanna see if you’re right? Wanna be humiliated again? Come to the forbidden forest at midnight. Let’s see what you’re really made of.”

And just like that Severus turned and ran cowardly to the castle. 

He was sobbing now. He just ruined his relationship with Lily. And he was the only one to blame. No! Lily stood there, while her so-called friends bullied him. She only stepped in when Potter got hurt. Not a word from her, while he was dangling in the air, upside down. She was at fault too!

Back in his bed, head covered, Severus lay wide-eyed, arguing with himself.

If he was wrong about Lupin, then it was just a trap and he’d have to duel with Black or Potter. He could easily win; he wasn’t afraid of them. 

But… if he was right?

What if there really was a werewolf among the students. He has to tell someone, the headmaster maybe.

“ Bah! I bet he already knows, he couldn’t have known there was a beast like that roaming free every month.” He thought to himself.

“I have to go. I have to see for myself.”

⛤⛤⛤

It was half past eleven. Time to sneak out. No one could see him. He tippy toed his way across the cold stone dorm room with his wand gripped tightly in his hand. The other three boys were in deep slumber. He quietly but quickly made his way out of the dungeons, through the Wooden Bridge and to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. 

He was scared. 

Wand at the ready, he heard a familiar but terrifying howl. 

He was right!

There was a werewolf amongst them.

Sirius Black was not bluffing.

The silence of the night was deafening. He could hear every leaf that was moving with every slight brisk of air. 

Then he heard an unusual and loud sound of rustling leaves. Something- or someone- was nearby.

 Curiosity got the best of him. He tried to get closer. One step at a time. He wanted to see the beast. There was a shadow. He had to get closer.

One step closer.

“Snape, get the hell out of there!” 

It was James Potter. He was sprinting toward him. In a blink, he stood in between him and the shadowy form of a wolf.

“Padfoot, I need some help here! Now!” James' panicked voice echoed sternly as he stood there.

And then Severus saw it.

He saw the beast. 

It launched at Severus. And just a moment before hitting him, James tackled him out of the way.

“I told you to get out of here. Why can’t you just listen, for once in your fucking life? Leave now!”

“H-h-he’s a-” Severus was too stunned to speak. Too stunned to move. Too stunned to breathe.
“I’m not joking Severus, get away or you will get hurt. That’s not a threat, it's a guarantee. Go!”

Severus was now running cowardly once more. He didn’t know where. He could only run. Run and don't look back. Then, he heard something new. A loud noise. A sharp yelp. A painful dog whine. “A dog? Do we even have dogs in Hogwarts?” he thought.

As he reached the edge of the forest, he saw two figures: Professor McGonagall, with Peter Pettigrew on her side, running to him.

“Severus are you alright? Are you hurt?” Peter asked in a sincere voice “We didn't know what Sirius told you this morning. But when we realized what you’ve done we came to help”
“Quiet Mister Pettigrew.” McGonagall snapped. “Let me handle this. Mr. Snape, that was incredibly irresponsible of you. Sneaking off to the forbidden forest, after curfew. But you were very lucky, Mr. Potter was there. His quick thinking saved your life. We owe him a great deal for his bravery tonight. With that said, we are going to have a meeting with the Headmaster tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Not a word to anyone. Am I clear?”
“Why am I the one to get lectured?” he snapped. “I’m not the beast here! If anyone deserves to be punished, it should be the beast itself. And Black who made me come here.”
McGonagall’s mouth thinned. “Mister Snape. Enough. Dormitory. Now. This conversation is not over.” 

Chapter Text

Date: 12-13 June 1976

James

James was far too tired to join the Marauders for the full moon tonight. Exams drained him way more than he expected. Sirius and Remus assured him that it was fine to skip one night. 

“Take a beak, mate. I’ve got us covered” Sirius had told him.

  So he slept, until Peter's panicked voice shook him awake.

“James! Wake up! I think we are in trouble!”

Peter explained that while on guard duty, he saw Snape on the map, heading down to the Forbidden Forest. Towards Moony and Padfoot. 

He jumped out of bed and started running. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t let his friend become a killer. Because he knew that Padfoot couldn’t contain the wolf alone; he didn’t have the strength. But Prongs did; he was bigger, faster and more intimidating to the wolf.

What the hell had gotten into Snape? Going to the Forbidden Forest after curfew? He had to know about Remus’ ‘little furry problem’, right? But how? That was a question for later. Right now, James had to make sure everyone was safe.

He was running down the moving stairs from the Gryffindor tower, through the wooden bridge and finally reaching the edges of the Forbidden Forest. He didn’t stop.

Then he saw him. Snape, taking cautions steps forward, getting closer and closer to Remus. James didn’t think; he just acted and put himself in between Snape and the wolf. 

“Snape, get the hell out of there!” he shouted, voice sharp with urgency.

Of course he didn’t listen. 

Everything happened in the blink of an eye. The wolf lunged at Snape. James’ instincts took over. He tackled the boy out of the way, just as a massive black dog took down the werewolf. Sirius had the situation under control now.

“I told you to get out of here. Why can’t you just listen, for once in your fucking life? Leave! Now!”

He was running like a chicken now. The immediate danger was over. He could transform into a stag and help his friends out. Prongs galloped deeper into the forest trying to find them. 

Suddenly, he heard a pained whine. Padfoot. He was hurt. James charged toward the sound, grateful for his enhanced senses.

Then he saw them. Padfoot lying unconscious on the grass and Moony ready to strike again. James didn’t hesitate. He ran, once again, straight at the werewolf, baiting him away from Sirius. The rest of the night included running and chasing, until it was time to get Remus into the Shrieking Shack. Once Remus was secured, he went straight to the forest, to find Sirius.

He was still in dog form but seemed to be breathing more steadily now. Maybe dogs heal faster than humans. He was now peacefully sleeping.

“Padfoot!” James said, shaking his friend gently.

Sirius transformed back and looked at James with tears in his eyes.

“James… I didn't know that Snape was so dumb as to come here! It is all my fault! I antagonised him and fed into his delusions. I really thought he was smarter than going after a wild werewolf. I-”

“Wait, what? What exactly did you say to Snape yesterday?”

“I told him that if he was so sure he could handle himself, he should come here at midnight. I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t think he’d actually do it. It was dumb. I just… I lost it. I was angry that he called Evans that word and I wasn’t thinking. I never do! And you heard him too, James. He had figured out the truth about Moony on his own… Holy fuck. Moony! Where is he? Is he okay? Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“You did what?! Sirius, that was the most irresponsible thing you could ever do! We took an oath not to tell anyone about this stuff. And you fucking go and tell a person who most likely is already a Deatheater? Merlin, Sirius. I’m pissed at you. I must go check in with Wormtail. And while we’re at it, make sure to thank him, cause he was the one who woke me and told me about Snape.”

“But Prongs-”

“Don’t Prongs me, Sirius.” James’s voice was cold as ice. “Right now, you need to go and make things right with Moony. Tell him what happened last night. If you leave out any detail and I find out, I'm going to be even more furious with you. Remus deserves to at least know the whole truth. He deserves way more than that, but whatever. Then, come and find me and we’ll talk about it.”

Sirius swallowed hard. “Yes Prongs, I’m gonna head there now.”

James’ tone softened and was now filled with sympathy “I really hope he forgives you for that, Pads. I really do.”

It was early in the morning; around six o’clock. On the common room couch, James found his friend fast asleep with the map spread across his chest.

“Good morning, Wormy.”

“Shit! I fell asleep! I’m sorry. I made sure Remus got safely through the Whomping Willow, and then you found Sirius and then… my eyes just shut off. Oh, I'm sure that stinky little weasel will get what he deserves for going after Moony! When you left, I went to let Minnie know. It was the only thing that made sense in that given moment.”

“Thanks, lad. You did perfect today. We owe you so much. And chill out, you deserve sleep too, Wormy.  Now, can you tell me what Severus said and did?”

“Well… he was white as a ghost; honestly it was somewhat satisfying seeing him like that. He told McGonagall that he shouldn’t be the one being punished and went on with his usual ‘poor me’ act. Ah also, McGonagall told me that you, Sirius, Moony and Snape are to attend a meeting with Dumbledore at eight o’clock.”

“Figures… Anyway, thank you, Pete. I don’t know what we’d done without you. You are the real savior of today’s events. I’m going to take a nap. Can you run to the others and inform them of the meeting?”

“Of course, Prongs!”

James didn’t have the strength to climb up the stairs. He just collapsed back on the couch and his eyes shut instantly. 

His sleep, though short, was anything but dreamless. Ever since the divination exam on dream interpretation, James’ dreams had taken a turn for the stranger. (1)

It was cold outside. And dark. He found himself sitting on a kitchen table that didn’t look anything like his own back at home. He looked older, more mature. And more than that, he looked sad. Desperate. Listening to the radio with his head bowed down. The sound from the radio was muffled, he couldn’t understand a word. Then suddenly, a baby’s cry interrupted whatever he was doing. He instantly stood up and rushed upstairs to aid this helpless little baby. 

Then, the dream ended. James awakened with a confused look on his face. He sat up and checked the time. Quarter past seven. He had to get to the Headmaster's office. It was early but he didn’t care.

Right outside the entrance, his two friends were already waiting, with their heads hanging low. Both their eyes were red and puffy; they both had been clearly crying. James thought that it was not a good idea to ask them about last night. So, they all waited patiently. Silently. Tensely. 

After a few minutes, Severus joined them, trying to stay as far away from them as he possibly could. 

After about half an hour of wordless silence, McGonagall emerged from the Headmaster's office. “Mr. Potter, we’ll take you first, so you can go rest.”

James followed the Professor up the stairs. Dumbledore sat in his office chair, with crossed arms, staring idly out the window. James felt tense, ready to advocate for his friends.

“Professor, it was all my fault. I shouldn’t have hexed Snape. It’s all my fault. Don’t punish anyone else. Please I-”

“James Potter,” Dumbledore interrupted gently, “your pride and loyalty to your friends is remarkable. I admire that; I truly do. As for the events that happened under the light of the full moon, I wanted to congratulate you for your quick thinking. Not everyone would have the courage to stand between a werewolf and a student. Most teachers wouldn’t, if I’m being honest. For that, I award Gryffindor fifty points.”

James blinked in surprise.

“But,” Dumbledore continued, “for your recklessness concerning Mr. Snape… I must confess, I didn’t expect that you, out of all people, would hex another student. I’m very disappointed in you, James. You should know that harassment of other students is not tolerated at Hogwarts. And for that, I’m deducting 15 points from Gryffindor.”

“But Professor, Snivel- I mean, Snape called Lily Evans a very awful word. He deserved it. The hexing, I mean.”

“What Severus said was indeed inexcusable, but that’s not your place, James. That is all for now. I want you to go and fetch Mr. Black, and then return straight to your dormitory.” 

“Of course, Professor. Please… try to be a little compassionate with Sirius. He’s been through enough. Thank you.”

James left the office angry. At himself. At Sirius. At Snape. At everyone. He couldn’t bring himself to go back to his dorm. He decided he would take the long way to Gryffindor Tower. 

James was now walking around aimlessly through the castle for what seemed like hours. He wasn’t thinking, just walking. Eventually, he found himself at the Clock Tower Courtyard and dropped onto a bench. It was rather early. No one was around. Finally alone. “What a relief” James thought. 

And then, in a blink, he broke down into sobs. He didn’t even know why.

“Are you okay, Potter?” said a mysterious but familiar voice.

James whipped his eyes quickly.

“Who’s there?”

“You don’t have to stop crying. It’s natural.” said the boy, taking a seat beside him.

“Regulus? What are you doing here?” 

Sirius’ younger brother was like a scaled-down reflection of his brother, the same features in a slighter frame. The only distinctions were his shorter stature, his leaner build, and the close-cropped hair that gave him a sharper, more distinctive look. 

“Professor Slughorn informed me that Sirius is in the Headmaster's office. It’s not every day your brother doesn't end up in detention. I’d like to check up on him.”

“I fear this is way more severe than simple detention, Regulus.” James stared at the cobblestones. “It’s just … I know him better than anyone else and it kills me that he causes so much pain to the people who love him.”

“That’s just how Sirius is. Don’t worry about it. He’ll get back on his feet in no time. He always says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Hopefully he’ll grow out of it.”

James started crying again. 

“Merlin's beard, I can’t stop, can I? Sorry, Regulus. I should get back to my dorm. Try and cheer up Sirius for me, okay?”

“As I said previously, you don’t have to stop crying on my account. But I get it, we need to be alone. I get like that too sometimes. I’ll leave you alone and go find my brother.”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that. Fuck... I’m sorry. It’s just… I dunno.” 

“If you ever want to talk about it, me and my friends are going to be here. We like this part of the castle. Don’t worry about it. Either way, I must check up on Sirius.”

Regulus stood up and left James alone. That was James’ cue to leave too. The others will be looking for him.

⛤⛤⛤

James took the same steps he took the night before. The only difference was that now his whole world had collapsed.

The common room was buzzing. Full of happy voices and laughter. Exam season was over, and summer was nearing by the day. But James wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He just needed his friends. And to talk about what just happened. It was the only way to repair the damages.

Upon entering the dorm room, only one person was there. With the sound of the door opening, Remus sat up with a jolt.

“You don’t have to pretend to be my friend anymore, Prongs.” Remus said bitterly. “I know what beast I am. And I proved myself again last night. But answer me just one question. Why? Why didn’t you stop Sirius? You know how he is; you talk to him about everything. Oh... It just clicked. You realized you couldn’t keep hanging around with a werewolf. So what better way to end it, other than sabotaging me?”

“Whoa, whoa, Remus! What? What are you talking about??? Are you serious right now? You are deeply mistaken. I had no idea that Padfoot told Snape about this. What kind of person do you think I am? No Moony, I would never do that. I adore our friendship; all four of us against the world. I hate the very thought of losing you. Can we start this conversation again?”

Remus stared at him for a moment. James decided that counted as a yes.

“Phew, okay. So Remus. I had no idea of Sirius' plan. The moment I found out, I came running to you. And believe it or not, I made Snape leave. I must say, Sirius was an absolute fucking idiot, and I don’t know what got into him. But one thing I know for sure is that Sirius adores you, and it would crush him if you don’t forgive him. How was that?”

Remus gave a small chuckle “Better. If he ever apologizes, I'll consider forgiving him. You know he hasn’t said a word to me? He just keeps looking at the floor, as if he hurt it and not me ! You know how that feels? It feels like betrayal. He can't even look me in the eyes, for fuck’s sake!”

“If it makes you feel better, I could talk to him.”

“No James! I don’t want you to play mediator. He must man up and recognise that all this is his fault. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m going out.”

Fuck.

Remus had every right to be furious. James didn’t blame him at all; but fuck. He let out a quiet sigh and flopped onto his bed.

⛤⛤⛤

They had to cancel today’s party for sure. The boys were all so excited about that. But none of them were in the right headspace anymore. Maybe next year…

Organizing their party was a hell of a lot of work. But canceling it was even harder. James had to inform every Gryffindor and let them down. All of the housemates were excited about the famous end-of-exams Marauders party.

The common room was still crowded with laughter and chatter. James cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, Gryffindor! I have a rather unpleasant announcement. Unfortunately, due to personal reasons, we’re canceling tonight’s party.”

A wave of boos and groans followed.

“I know, I know. But we will make it up to you! Next year we could celebrate again. We will, hopefully, throw a big welcome back to Hogwarts party! Please spread the word. Inform everyone that the party is not happening. Thanks, everyone!”

He turned and climbed back up to the dorm. He laid down again.

The door behind him, strung open. James glanced over, and saw a familiar blonde head leaning in.

“Heya, Prongs. How’s Remus? I saw him leave and he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk.”

“Ugh, Wormy, I think the next year is going to be very different from any other. The two of them haven’t made up yet. And I don’t think they’re going to. At least not for a while.”

“At least, we have each other, right?” Peter said awkwardly.

“Yup, you know it!”

A heavy silence followed, until Wormtail spoke again, trying to cheer James up.

“Do you wanna play a round of Exploding Snap? Might help you to take your mind off things.”

“Sure, why not?”

Chapter Text

Date: 13 June 1976

Sirius

In the headmaster's office, Sirius was getting lectured.

“Sirius, I’ve been informed about something rather upsetting. I’ve been told that you dared Mr. Snape to sneak around the forbidden forest around midnight. Do you want to tell me your side of the story or should I tell you what I have gathered?”

Sirius didn’t answer Professor Dumbledore.

“Alright. I knew this day would come. I was unsure of you and your friends knowing about Remus’ condition. But you seem to have helped him a lot. I’m sure we both know why. Nonetheless, that does not give you the right to endanger other students.  As I acknowledge your situation at home, I’m not going to inform your parents about this specific incident. However, that does not mean I will not ground you. Five weeks of detention, begin the first week of September.”

Sirius interrupted his headmaster “Is Snape gonna snitch?”

Dumbledore let out a small chuckle. “No, Sirius. I’ll make sure he’s dealt with, as well. Mr. Lupin’s secret is safe with him. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Is that all? Can I go now?”

“Very well. You may go. Please inform Remus that he’s next.”

Sirius had fucked up. Big time. His mouth was always moving faster than his brain. He realized it, time and time again. But this was huge. Remus had always shone like a fragile flame - until Sirius blew it out. He saw that clearly now. Sitting all alone in an empty charms classroom, picking at his lunch. 

He ruined it. He destroyed the best group of friends he could ever only dream of. And there was no one to blame but himself and his big, reckless mouth.

Why? 

Why?

He was crying now. All alone. He hated himself. He really did. He could never forgive himself.

 And he was sure the Marauders hated him too. He couldn’t even look them in the eyes. Especially not Remus. How could he? He had betrayed him, in the worst way possible.

He wanted to avoid them as much as he could. He’d only go to their dorm after midnight, once they were all asleep, and wake up early to disappear before they got up.

Luckily, Sirius knew how to entertain himself. All those years in Grimmauld Place had taught him that; he had to or else he would turn mad. He knew how to look busy doing nothing. How to be quietly miserable, so no one else would have to suffer for it.

Out of the blue, the door creaked open.

A shorter version of himself walked in. 

“Hello, Sirius. May I join you?” His brother’s voice was quiet. Smooth. Gentle, even.

Sirius wiped the tears from his eyes and gave him a small nod to sit beside him.

“Rough day, big brother?”

“You don’t even know half of it, Reggie. Oh, I've been so stupid!” Sirius always felt comfortable being vulnerable with his brother. They had so many common experiences -horrors, really- that it would’ve been foolish not to.

“I’m here for you. Talk to me, Sirius.” said Regulus, his eyes full of sincerity.

“I can’t. I really can’t. And that’s not some bullshit ‘Mommy Dearest’ commanded us never to talk about. This is real. And the truth is, I fucked up. Big time. My friends hate me, I hate me, Mother hates me. I don’t even want to think about going back home tomorrow. It’s all too much, Reg.”

“I know it is. But I’m sure your friends don’t hate you. And if they do, well, then, they are stupid. Whatever you did, which I don't minimize the severity, is not a good enough reason to hate you. They may be pissed at you, but definitely not hateful. As for Mommy… Eh well, that’s a whole other can of cursed worms.”

“When did you get so wise, little Reggie?”

“Y’know I’m only a year younger than you, right? I’m not the fragile little boy I once was. And I want to be here for my big brother, just like he was for me when we were small.”

Sirius had always taken care of Regulus; he was fiercely protective of him. Living in a toxic, pureblood household was something. But living under the threat of unforgivable curses as punishment was something else entirely. Whenever either of them got into trouble, Sirius often took the blame. Just to shield his brother.

He vividly remembered one snowy Christmas - the first year he was at Hogwarts. He’d snuck into little Reggie’s room at night to keep him company. Regulus had always been scared of the dark, so Sirius read to him, sang to him, told him jokes. Anything to soothe his little brother. 

That year specifically, he felt guilty for leaving Regulus stuck at home all year long, while he was having fun with his newfound friends. Every time he laughed a little too hard, or had way too much fun learning about magic, guilt crept in. Little Reggie was not there with him; he had to suffer alone in that hell they called home.

“Remember when I used to sing to you so you could fall asleep. You were just a baby then. Never even been to Hogwarts. I’m sorry you had to be there alone, all year without me. If I could, I’d switch places with you. Swear I would.”

“Mother and father weren't that bad that year. Well… they were. But not bad bad, like they are now. Now they’re completely nuts.”

“HA! That’s my Reggie! I’m going to tell Mother you said that! Ah, I'm such a bad influence on you.” Sirius was now smiling, wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulder. “Thanks, Reg.”

“Don’t you dare tell Mommy! And don’t even mention it. Just… try to talk to your friends. At least James. He’s hurt, even if he doesn’t like showing it.”

“Since when did you become an expert in the great mystery that is James Potter?”

“Well, I bumped into him on my way to the headmaster's office to find you. We had a little talk. Your friends may be a lot more forgiving than you think. Just talk to them. Like, today. Before we leave Hogwarts.”

“Reg, I can’t. The wounds are too fresh. I don’t even know if I can bring myself to talk about it without bursting into tears.”

“Man up, Sirius. At least talk to James. Please. I hate seeing you both like that. Whatever you did, I’m sure they will forgive you.”

Sirius thought about what his brother said. He was right. He was always right. 

Having Regulus at Hogwarts had made their bond even stronger. At home, they'd been forced to stay distant—Walburga had made sure of it. Ever since Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, his mother despised him. How could the heir to the noble House Black be sorted into that wretched house? she’d hiss under her breath. And she tried to make Regulus hate him too. But they were smarter than that. Their bond was unbreakable.

Once again, Regulus was right. He had to man up and talk to James. And Peter. And most importantly, Remus. 

Sirius spoke aloud, mostly to himself “Okay, one step at a time. Prongs is probably the easier one, then Wormy and last but not least Moony. Oof, that’s going to be hard.” He turned to Regulus. “Wish me luck, Reg. I’m out!”

⛤⛤⛤

He stood up and headed for the Quidditch pitch. He darted down three flights of stairs until he reached the Clock Tower Entrance. The door stood tall before him; he placed his hands on the heavy wood and pushed it open. Sirius was determined to talk to James.

From there, he followed a downhill path full of tall trees and grass. Beside him stood the Whopping Willow. At the sight of it and his mind drifted off to Remus… He shook his head, banishing the thought and carried on his path.

The stadium stood before him like a quiet memory. The Quidditch pitch was bathed in soft light. Three soaring goal hoops rose high from the emerald grass, casting long shadows across the field. The stands stood silent, their rows deserted, yet still proudly covered in the vivid colors of the four Hogwarts Houses.

High above it all, a single figure was flying high in the sky. James Potter. He was always training when he was upset, using the sky as his only place to breathe. 

Sirius paused for a second, watching him. James was bloody brilliant at Quidditch, especially when he was angry. That was when he was sharpest. Focused. Powerful.

“Okay, what do we say now?” Sirius mumbled to himself, pacing back and forth behind the stands.  “Firstly apologize; I can’t mess that part up. Then, explain my point of view on the whole situation; that’s the tricky part. And lastly, expect nothing. I don’t foresee being forgiven.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, I got this. Just be cool and don’t lose your shit, Padfoot.” 

Sirius waved awkwardly at his friend and gestured to him to come over. James noticed. His face was stony.

“Okay before you say anything,” Sirius began quickly, “let me talk. Please. Just for a minute.”

James crossed his arms. “Fine. I’m listening.”

Sirius took a deep breath.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was wrong. You know me, my mouth has a mind of its own. That’s not an excuse, I know. I don’t expect forgiveness. I just want to try and make things right.”

He hesitated. James’s face gave nothing away.

“So, as I said before, Snivellus called Evans that horrible word, and he hurt you James! I couldn't let him get away with what he did to you. And I know, we were assholes too, but our prank was harmless. So I told him about… you know what. And he was stupid enough to go. I know I am mostly at fault but, you know me better than anyone else. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. Least of all Remus. I just wasn’t thinking.”

Sirius looked at the ground. “That’s all. Thank you for hearing me out. I’ll head elsewhere now. I won’t come back to the dorm after you are fast asleep, and tomorrow I’ll wake up early. On the train back to London, I’ll find an empty carriage to ride home in.”

There was a long pause.

Then James spoke. “Thank you for apologizing, Sirius. I’m still very angry with you and I can’t just forgive you. Not yet. I’m willing to try, though.”

Sirius’s heart stuttered in his chest. He dared to look up.

“But with all due respect,” James asked, voice suddenly sharper. “Have you talked to Remus? Have you told him what you’ve just told me? He looks like shit.”

“No I-” Sirius’ voice cracked. “It’s not easy, y’know. I’m a mess too. I want to. I want to talk to him and explain myself more than anything in the world. But how could I face him? If I were him, I wouldn’t even look at me.”

James shook his head. “Whatever, Pads. I can’t help you with that. You’ve got to figure it out yourself.” He turned and picked up his broom. “I’m going to continue my practice now, if you don’t mind. Also, there is a little something for you in my backpack. Bye, Sirius.”

That went…well?

Maybe?

No clue. Sirius walked straight to Prong's bag and unzipped it. Inside there was a piece of parchment and three objects underneath it: The invisibility cloak, the Marauders map and a shard of a mirror. He unfolded the parchment.

 “I know you want to avoid Remus, and he wants nothing to do with you right now. Here are some hefty tools to help you with that. Until you two make up. The glass is a two-way mirror -one of a pair of mirrors that are magically connected. I’ve got the other half of it. This will allow us to communicate with each other whilst in different locations. If you need me, I’m here for you. Please try to fix this, Pads. I hate seeing the Marauders broken up. 

-Prongs”

“Dammit Prongs” Sirius muttered, wiping away a tear. “Thanks, you stupid bloke. 

He took the map, tapped it with his wand, and whispered “I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.” The map’s ink began to swirl. Remus was with Evans at the Clock Tower Courtyard. 

“Easy enough. I’m just going to shoo Lily away for a little bit.”

⛤⛤⛤

“Erm, excuse me, Evans?” Sirius said, walking up awkwardly. “Can I steal Remus for just a minute?” 

“No you cannot.” Remus said, voice cold as ice. “Whatever you’ve got to say, she can stay. Also I’d really appreciate it if you could look at me, Padfoot.”

“Shit… Sorry. Okay.” Sirius swallowed, forcing himself to meet Remus’s eyes. “Can you hear me out for just a second? I want to clear a few things up.”

“What else do you have left to say?” Remus snapped. “Hm, Sirius? About how you can’t even look at me? Or how you nearly got me expelled? Or turned me into a killer? What? Fucking what?”

Sirius flinched. “Fuck.” Tears were falling on Sirius’ face like a faucet. “Remus, I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me but-”

“Stop acting like you are the victim here. Just stop. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I’m playing the fucking victim, okay?! I know I fucked up big time. You don’t think I know it? You think this has all been a walk in the park for me?” His voice was rising. “No, it is not! Just… Please hear me out.”

“I’ve got nothing more to say, Sirius. And neither should you.” Remus stood, his expression unreadable. “I guess I’ll have no choice but to see you in the dorm tonight.” 

He turned and walked away with Lily, leaving Sirius standing there, shattered.

Alone again.

Chapter Text

Date: 13-14 June 1976

Remus

“Can you fucking believe him, Lily? How could I ever forgive him? Ugh, it’s all just a big mess.” 

Remus and Lily were now at the Covered Bridge, the summer night breeze brushing against their faces. Remus placed his elbows on the stone window ledge and covered his face with his palms.

“Remus, you know I’m here for you. And I’m sure whatever Sirius did was way out of line. But I can’t give you good advice unless you tell me the whole story.”

But how could he? How could he tell her that her friend was a wild werewolf that almost killed Severus Snape yesterday? Remus didn’t know for sure that Lily would accept him. He didn’t want to lose her too.

“Okay… so you know about my illness, right?” he was going to vaguely explain the situation. “And you know I don’t like to talk about it. And if I did want to share it with, say, Snape, it should be my choice. So what happened is that-”

“Remus, are you a werewolf?” she asked naturally.

“What the fuck, Evans? Wha-How? When did you figure it out? Fuck, I’m sorry. If you are scared of me, you can go. I’ll manage.”

“Remus John Lupin, you’ve gotta stop jumping into conclusions on your own. I’m staying, and that’s final. Well, first Sev tried to tell me yesterday. But I already had my suspicions before that. It’s okay, Remus. It isn’t so bad, y’know. Being friends with a werewolf. It’s kinda cool, I guess. So now that I know, do you wanna tell me the whole story?”

“Lily… I-” Remus thought that she wasn’t just a gifted witch, but was also an uncommonly kind person .(1) He was so lucky she didn’t run away. “Okay, after Snape cursed James and called you that damn slur, Sirius was angry and told him to come and find me during midnight. I would have killed him, if it weren’t for James’ bravery. And now Sirius is acting all sad and sappy, like it’s easy to forgive him. Y’know he still hasn’t apologized until now? I really want to forgive him… but I just can’t. It's all just a big mess. Dumbledore assured me that Snape wouldn’t dare to tell anyone about my condition, so my secret is still safe. But that’s not the issue here. Sirius was reckless and stupid and… just plain dumb…”

“Whoa…That’s… a lot.” She paused. “Hmm okay. You don’t have to forgive Sirius right away. Forgiveness takes time and effort. From both sides. If you want to forgive him, then try one step at a time. For example, I’m sure Sirius will write to you, during summer break. So maybe reply to a single letter. And see how that goes. We’ll take it from there. How does that sound?”
“That…That’s actually very good advice. Thanks. Promise you will write to me though. I can send you a letter the muggle way. Being a halfblood has its privileges.”

“That would be great actually! You know my parents still can’t comprehend the whole owl system. Also my sister hates everything related to magic, sooo yeah.”

Remus was glad for the friendship that was slowly forming between them. 

It was nearly curfew. The train left early tomorrow and Remus hadn’t even packed a sock.

“Erm, Lily, have you packed for tomorrow?” Remus asked.

“Of course! Don’t tell me you haven’t! The train leaves at-”

“I know, I know… but with everything going on, that was at the bottom of my list. Is it okay if we head back?”

“Of course. Last night as fifth year students. Time goes so fast sometimes…”

⛤⛤⛤

After about two hours of running inside and out of the Gryffindor common room and his dorm, he had finally packed everything.

Another year, another adventure. This year had been both the worst and best of his life. 

Remus was tired. Tired of pretending Tired of hiding. But that was the life of a werewolf. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

⛤⛤⛤

It was around 3 a.m. when we woke up to the creaking sound of their dorm door. It was Sirius.

Remus pretended to be asleep but after a while he heard the sound of muffled sobbing. Sirius was crying. He couldn’t help but feel bad. Terrible even. “ Everything will be back on track in no time ” he thought to himself. “I just need time. A three month break. Nothing more. And then I’ll be ready. I promise, Sirius…”

14 June 1976

The train was ready for departure. Every student was packed and prepared to head back to London. For once, Remus wanted to leave and go back home. He needed his anxious mother and clever father.

Usually, the Marauders’ carriage was the last on the train. The same one they'd shared since first year, where they had all met for the very first time. But he couldn’t go there now.

Luckily, Lily spotted him in the train’s corridor.

“You comin?” She was gesturing to him, to join her carriage. Inside were four other girls, Lily’s friends. Marlene McKinnon, Mary McDonald, Dorcas Middows and Emmeline Vance.

The trip home was pleasant, filled with laughter and jokes and a hell lot of exploding snap. Remus liked Lily’s friends. They were all funny and kind to him.

“Whoa! Look at the time guys,” Mary exclaimed “We’re almost in London. We got carried off.”

“We must change into our muggle clothes. Come on, come on!” Marlene said as she stood up abruptly. “One at a time. Remus, you go first, seeing as you are the only boy here.”

Lily whispered to him “Don’t mind Marlene. She’s kinda intimidating but very sweet. She hopes to be Quidditch captain next year.”

“Hahah, good to know.” He faced the group “I’m going to change and then I think I'll go wait by the door to find my dad. Thank you for opening your carriage up for me. See ya!”

“Make sure to write to me Remus! I’m going to miss you!” Lily said, pulling him into a hug. “Have a nice summer!”

“Of course! You too, Lily! Bye.”

Now, at platform 9 ¾ , his father was patiently waiting, leaning against a pole.

Remus disembarked the train and started moving towards his father.

As he was walking, with the corner of his eyes he saw James and Peter waving goodbye to each other. Sirius stood nearby with his brother. Both of them had their heads bowed while greeting their mother. What a cunningly cruel woman. With her head held high, she thought she was better than everyone else.

 He waved towards all four of them. Sirius gave him a small smile, while gesturing with his eyes that his mother was near and he couldn’t wave back. That idiot... Remus couldn’t help but laugh at the look on his face.

“Remus, don’t think we didn’t notice how you ditched us in the train!” Peter said, patting on his back. “It’s okay, just make sure to write. To all of us. Even Sirius. I hate seeing him like that, y’know. James already found his parents, but mine are nowhere to be seen. Where’s your dad?”

“Thanks, Pete. I’ll write. Promise. There’s my dad. Have a good summer, Wormy.” 

Chapter Text

Date: 28 June 1976

Lily

The second week of summer break was just as terrible as all the others Lily had spent with her family in Cokeworth. She hated that she couldn’t use magic outside of Hogwarts. She hated her dreary town, the suffocating heat, and the way everything seemed to stand still. Worst of all, she hated having to pretend to be a normal teenager - especially around her sister.

Petunia barely spoke to her anymore. Ever since Lily had been accepted into Hogwarts, they stopped being friends. Merely strangers. Only exchanging words when absolutely necessary. 

Lily hated that they weren’t as close as before. The truth is that she liked her sister (most of the time). She longed for the bond they used to have before she left for school. They were inseparable. Always playing games and making believe until their stomachs hurt. 

But now, Tuney couldn’t stand her. 

Lily spent hours holed up in her room, reading, studying and writing letters to her friends.

The Evans family lived in an old but cozy home. A two-story house with a shallow pitched roof and large windows to allow more natural light. The rooms were colorful and practical. Mismatched furniture and worn rugs that softened the hardwood floors. Lily’s room was on the second floor, at the end of the hallway.

Her room was a microcosm of her life in Hogwarts; Gryffindor sigils, books, notes and photos. She always tried to fill her room with wizarding stuff. It made her feel more at home. The familiar scent from her mother’s garden drifted through her open windows, mixed with the smell of her old books and ink from Lily’s desk.

No one of her friends had replied to her letters yet.

“Dear Marlene,

How have you been? Tell me your news! I’ve missed you dearly! Have you been training for the Quidditch tryouts? I know Gryffindor takes its keeper very seriously. Please tell me your news! I’m dying for some non-muggle conversation. It’s all so boring here. Cokeworth is super hot this time of the year, and we’re not even going on vacation. Three months in the midlands doing nothing. So exciting, right?!

I’m seriously considering getting a job at the local supermarket or something. Ugh, I don’t know. I miss Hogwarts so much.

Please write back as soon as possible!

Yours truly, 

Lily J. Evans.”

“Dear Mary,

How are things in London? I hear it’s so busy there during the summer. Filled with tourists, I guess. I’d love to come visit you. You have no idea how much I miss you! With Severus not talking to me  This summer is so boring! I’m getting a job, though! I’ll begin searching for something today. How exciting is that? 

Miss you lots! 

Yours truly,

 Lily J. Evans.”

“Ugh i hate this!” Lily muttered to herself as she headed downstairs. “Maybe lunch is ready. And after that, I’ll head into town to look for a job.”

The kettle was shrieking from the kitchen and muffled voices echoed through the walls.

Lily’s mother was a warm and cheerful woman, always wearing an apron, smelling faintly of lavender and tea. Her hair blonde, like her eldest’s daughter, always in a smart up-do. Her face, though filled with wrinkles, was beautiful; her eyes green like Lily’s.

“Oh hello, my little ace!” her mother called. “Your exam results came in the mail, just now! Do you want to open them? Ah, also some Mr. Lupin wrote to you too.” 

“Oh please, Mum! She’s not that special!” Petunia groaned, sitting up straight at the table, her long blonde hair perfectly in place. “I’m sure anyone can get a perfect score in that pretend freak school of hers. And I’ll just keep my mouth shut for the boy who's been writing to her. Better not get involved, honestly.”

“Tuney, please be kind to your sister.” Mrs. Evans replied gently. “She is different from us and we must accept it. And based on last year, Lily did fantastic on her school work. I’m sure the boy is lovely. Kind enough to send the mail the non-magical way. Sounds like a real gentleman!”

“Can you stop talking about me when I’m right here?” Lily said sharply, stepping into the kitchen. “Also Mummy, yes. I’d like to see my scores! Thanks.”

She grabbed the envelope and sat down at the table. She had a good feeling about the results, but her heart still raced. She firstly decided to open her results. Remus’ letter could wait a few moments.

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS

Lily Joan Evans has achieved: 

“Merlin’s beard! I got mostly Os. What the hell?!”

“That’s wonderful, dear! ... I think? I’m getting confused.” Mary Evans said, blinking at the parchment.

“Yes Mum! It’s perfect! I can’t believe it. O stands for Outstanding. Here, look for yourself!” Lily grinned, barely able to contain her excitement.

“Love, did you notice the wee part on the back of the paper? It says you’ve been chosen as a Prefect next year! Well, that’s exciting, right?”

Lily’s eyes widened as she flipped the parchment.

She couldn’t believe her eyes. Out of all the fifth year Gryffyindors, she’d been chosen as Prefect. Next year was going to be a blast! 

Lily couldn’t contain her excitement and left a high-pitched squeal.

“Ugh, Lily please be quiet. Some of us try to enjoy our summer.” Petunia groaned, pressing her fingers to her temples. “We don’t need you to disturb the peace. Don’t ever make a sound like that again. You’ll give me a migraine.”

“Tuney, can’t you just be happy for me?” Lily snapped. “You’re so miserable all the time! Being a Prefect is a very huge deal at Hogwarts.”

“Don’t let your sister crush your excitement, dear. We are very proud of you! Just wait ‘till your father hears about this.” her mother said, pressing a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“Thanks mum! I’m going to write back to Remus now. Tell me when lunch is ready. Love you!”

She practically danced up the stairs to her room, she was so happy. Letters in hand, she had to write to her friends about this. Back in her room, she tore open Remus’ letter.

“Dear Lily,

I enjoyed your letter, though I must ask. Is everything alright back at home? You don’t sound very happy there. Maybe you could come visit us for a weekend, here in Wales. The weather here is cooler. Plus, mum and dad would really enjoy your company. So would I. James and Peter are off on vacation with their family and I’m feeling rather lonely. There aren’t that many interesting books to read here. Please say yes!

Update on the Padfoot case: He sent 3 letters via owl. Apologizing mostly. I haven’t replied yet. I don’t think I will, just yet. Or should I? Ugh… I really don’t know what to do. And if I do write back, what do I say? ‘Apology not accepted’? Keep sending letters but I’m still pissed at you? Give me advice, please!

Also, Sirius mentioned that results are expected to be sent earlier this year, so make sure to look out for them!

I’ve missed you lots!

Take care,

Remus J. Lupin.”

She grabbed a fresh piece of parchment and her favorite pen, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Dear Remus,

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I'M GOING TO BE GRYFFINDOR’S PREFECT!!! My OWLs results came today. I’m so excited, you have no idea-”

“LILY!!!” 

Petunia’s voice pierced her ears. Her voice screeched from downstairs, interrupting her thoughts.

Lily sighed. “What do you want now, Petunia?”

Ugh, she can't hear me, can she?

“Petunia, what is it?” she said louder this time. 

No answer again. She stormed over to her bedroom door and yelled angrily once more: “Petunia. What. Is. It?”

“There’s someone for you at the door. Please don’t make me stay for this. And please, no spells headed my way.”

Lily wondered who it could be…

She climbed down the stairs and through the front door a familiar face was right outside.

“Hey Lils. Can I come in?” 

It was Severus.

The one person who made her summers somewhat tolerable in this miserable town. Of course he was here to apologize; or at least try to.

“No, you cannot! I told you I’m not interested in whatever you have to say.”

“Lily, please, just… come for a walk. Please.”

He was practically begging now. Pathetic.

Lily crossed her arms, her expression stone cold. “Fine. I’ll go for a walk. You have ten minutes. No more.”

Deep down, she wanted to fix her friendship with Sev. Their friendship, their years of history, the connection they once had… It still meant something to her. But after the events at the full moon… she couldn’t forgive him. Not after he called her a Μudblood. Not after going after Remus. She just couldn’t.

She followed him out, keeping a measured distance. 

They walked towards the old playground near her house, where they’d first met all those years ago. If things went bad, she could easily retreat and hide in the safety of her house.

They sat at the swings, slowly going back and forth, until Severus broke the silence.

“I know I fucked up.” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean it. I’d never call you that. It’s just… you just sat there and didn’t stand up for me. It is like you care more about Potter and his gang than me. I was embarrassed. And it just… slipped out, y’know…” he couldn’t meet her eyes; he was staring straight at the floor.

Lily’s jaw clenched. Her voice was calm, but sharp. “No. No, no, no. I don’t know Severus. Words like that don’t simply ‘slip out’. I’m sure you’ve said it before. And for the record, I don’t care about the boys more than I care about you. I was shocked. Everything happened too fast. I didn’t know what to do. That was my mistake. We both made mistakes that day. But the difference between us?” She looked him in the eyes. “I didn’t call my best friend a slur. A slur that you know I’ve been called before. And you really hurt me, Sev.”

“I never wanted to-”

“No, Severus. No. That’s not good enough. I never wanted to be called a slur by the person who I thought was my best friend. It’s unacceptable. And I don’t buy it, not one bit. I told you months ago that hanging out with Mulciber was a bad idea. But you didn’t listen. You are heading to a path I cannot, sorry, will not, follow.”

“What can I do to make it up to you? I’ll do anything!”

“There is no fixing that, Severus.” Her voice cracked slightly, but she didn’t let herself cry. “I’m going to need time. And space. You coming up to my house, unannounced, was way out of line. We hadn’t spoken a word in more than two weeks.”

“I’m sorry, Lily… But you’re making a grave mistake. The Marauders are dangerous. Especially Lupin. I’ve noticed you two hang out a lot.”

Lily stared at him in disbelief.

“Stalking much? It’s none of your business who I spend my time with. Remus is sweet. And a very good friend, unlike you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have letters to write. Goodbye, Severus.”

She stood up and left without another word. 

Severus remained on the swing, gently rocking, his eyes cast to the ground.

Lily didn’t look back. Cutting Severus off was the right choice. Especially in times like these, for a muggle-born like her.

Now, back in her familiar four walls of her bedroom, with all the Gryffindor decorations, and half-opened letters, Lily picked up her pen again.

She resumed writing to Remus:

“Remus,

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I'M GOING TO BE GRYFFINDOR’S PREFECT!!! My OWLs results came today. I’m so excited, you have no idea how much! The exams went perfectly. I was nervous for nothing! How did yours go? I bet brilliant; with all the hours with the study groups of yours, you have nothing to fear!

About my home life… I guess it’s mostly dull. I don’t know… My sister hates me for being a witch but that’s not new. Nothing to worry about, though! I’ve got everything under control. I was thinking of getting a job. Something part time to kill time. 

Oh, but how I'd love to come to Wales! Meeting your parents sounds lovely! I’m going to ask my folks. How about next weekend? On the 26th?

I also have some drama to report. Severus showed up today. He was apologizing in the worst way possible (you know how he is, full of excuses). I’ve decided to cut him off completely. I guess, I’m kinda sad about it, but nonetheless I can't keep hanging onto the image I had of him. I barely know him anymore. That’s all my updates!

Sincerely,

Lily J. Evans.”

A weekend in Wales. That's what she needed. To leave her small town for a couple of days. It was the perfect plan. She just had to convince her folks to let her go. Easy enough. 

“Mummy? Can you come up for a minute?” Lily called from the top of the stairs.

“I’m cooking, can you come downstairs instead, please?” her mother’s muffled voice sounded warm.

In the kitchen, her mum was stirring a simmering pot of broth. Her sister sat at the table, flipping through a glossy magazine with a sour expression.

“So… My friend Remus invited me to Wales for a weekend. Can I go?”

“Is he your boyfriend, Lily?” Petunia scoffed before their mum could answer. “What a player she is. Mum, did you notice that freak, Severus, was just here? How can you let her be such a boy-pleaser? She’s only sixteen. You can’t let her go!” 

“Now, now, Tuney.” their mum said firmly, “That’s enough. Let’s all relax. Severus just left, and it’s not kind to pry. Lily will share her personal business when she’s ready.” She turned to Lily, softening “But sweetheart, is Remus really just a friend? What do we know about this boy and his family?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend, Mum. He’s just a very good friend. I don’t like him like that. Also, Sev and I aren't even speaking anymore. I am positive he won’t bother us again. But please Mum! I just got perfect scores on my OWLs and I really want to go!”

Mary didn’t get the chance to answer, as the front door opened and her father, Charles Evans, stepped inside.

Her father was a practical, common man; a banker with a steady job. His face was in a constant state of tiredness, with some white hair popping out of the side of his head. Though older in age, he hadn’t lost his love for his extraordinary little family. 

Lily had a soft spot in her heart for him. He was the first person she trusted. The only person she could be completely honest with. Growing up, he was the only one that tried to understand her world. Since she could remember they would talk alone, about nothing and everything. He was the only one in her family who knew about what happened with Severus.

“Hello, my sweet family!” His voice exhausted but filled with happiness. “Ah Lily, you can’t imagine how happy it makes me to have you finally at home! Is lunch ready? I’m starving.” He said gently kissing his wife on the cheek.

“Daddy!” Lily exclaimed with excitement. “Daddy, can we talk before lunch?”

He nodded and motioned toward his office.

“What’s troubling you, my sweet daughter?” he said with a patient smile on his face.

“Firstly, my exam results came back and I did perfect! I got top marks and I’m going to be a Prefect! How exciting! So… what I really wanted to talk to you about is that my friend Remus invited me to his home in Wales. And I thought as a present, I could go for just a weekend. I swear he is not my boyfriend and I’ll be careful and he's a half-blood, so he gets me. And I’m not having fun here. I miss my friends. Please, Daddy, let me go!”

Charles laughed softly and leaned back in his chair. “Woah, Lils, you don't have to beg. You can go! You are sixteen now. In a year you’ll be an adult in the magic world, won’t you? So yes. You may go. I’ll convince Mary. Don’t worry about it!”

Lily squealed and flung her arms around him.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! Ah, also, Severus came by. He tried to apologize. But I told him not to come here ever again. Can you believe the nerve of the guy?”

Her father’s face grew serious.

“He owes you an apology. But that does not mean you have to forgive him. Just… don’t be so closed minded, sweetheart. I know what he called you was unacceptable, however he is your oldest friend. You used to be close. You both may need time. Maybe one day, you’ll talk again.”

Lily smiled gently. She was grateful for her father. Always so wise. Always fair

“Weekend in Wales, here I come!”

Chapter Text

Date: 3 July 1976

Regulus

Fifteen… 

Regulus didn’t particulate like his birthday. He was always forced to spend it with his family; usually at a grand dinner party hosted by the Blacks, attended by other Sacred Twenty-Eight families. Some of his friends from Hogwarts were part of them, but around his own kin, Regulus could never truly be himself.

The Blacks were a proud family. They crossed bloodlines only with other Twenty-Eight families.

Just a few weeks ago his favorite cousin, Narcissa, had announced her engagement with Lucius Malfoy. At just twenty-one, she was to become a wife.

Cissy was one of two people in his family he truly trusted. She had always been there for him, for as long as he could remember. He vividly recalled one summer, when they would hide together in the library talking about books; her sky-blue eyes would light up, focused on whatever he was talking about. 

Cissy didn’t really want to get married. She wasn’t ready yet. She wanted to study wandmaking. “There are some drawbacks to being part of the Black family.” she used to tell him.

But she couldn’t disobey her father. Cygnus Black was a cruel man. An old man that was obsessed with blood purity and preserving the family’s wealth. Narcissa, as his younger daughter, had to be married off quickly. He couldn’t let her stray off like her older sister had.

Andromeda; she was something else entirely. Her relationship with her family had crumbled the moment she married a Muggle-born against her family's ideals of blood purity. She was disowned and not considered a Black after that, her name scorched from the family tree. Regulus hadn’t seen her since that day. He must have been around nine or ten years old. 

He could barely remember her. Oh, but how he longed to speak with her. She would always play with him. She was the one that taught him how to ride a broom. Now, she was nothing more than just a fading memory, tucked away in the corners of his mind.

His oldest cousin, Bellatrix, married Rodolphus Lestrange, another wealthy pure-blood and former Slytherin. A marriage towards fulfilling her family’s pure-blood traditions. Just the other day, he’d overheard his parents talking about her.

“Bella has useful information about the Dark Lord, Sir” his mother whispered.

“I’m sure she will let us know, when everything is in order, Walburga.” his father replied in a cold, firm voice. “Do not fret. Soon, all those Mudbloods will get what they deserve. The Dark Lord will rise.”

“And when that does happen, will Sirius have what it takes? He has to get the Dark mark before he turns seventeen.”

“He must. Or else we will make him. In all due time.”

Walburga and Orion weren’t just strict. They were cruel. They frequently used unforgivable curses on their children. Regulus had endured the cruciatus curse more times than he could count. Not as many times as Sirius, though. Sirius had a habit of being disrespectful; he constantly provoked their parents. He was reckless. Defiant. Loud.

This month had been especially tough on his brother. Sirius spent most of his time locked in his room, blasting muggle music. Regulus hated seeing him like that. From what he had gathered, Sirius still hadn’t made up with his friends.

⛤⛤⛤

Around lunchtime, Regulus would often order Kreacher to bring his food up to Sirius’ room. Usually, Sirius refused. But this time, Kreacher returned with a note.

“Would you like to eat lunch with me today?

-Your terribly sad brother”

Regulus turned to his house elf.

“Kreacher, can you do me a favour and cover for me? I’m going to eat lunch with Sirius today. Think of it as an early birthday present.”

“Whatever you wish, Master Regulus” said the elf with a small bow.

“You’re the best! I owe you.” Regulus always respected Kreacher; he thought of him more as a friend, rather than a servant.

He quietly climbed the stairs to reach the third floor. Sirius’ room.

*Knock knock*

“It’s me. Open up.”

The person who opened the door was nearly unrecognizable. Sirius’ shoulder-length hair was messy, his eyes were puffy and a strange smell was coming from inside.

“Merlin's saggy left-”

“Not a word, Reggie. I didn’t invite you here to judge me. Y’know what? This was a bad idea. Go have lunch with mum and dad.”

“No, no! I’m sorry. Not judging… just shocked”

“Come in,” Sirius muttered, closing the door behind them. “Didja bring snacks?”

“Kreacher will soon bring us something, I’m sure of it. So… how’ve you been?”

Silence.

The two brothers stared at each other. Sirius was in no shape to talk about his feelings.

Finally, Regulus broke the silence.

“Do you want me to brush your hair? Might help you feel a little bit better.”

Sirius gave a faint crooked smile, accepting his offer. 

Sirius sat on the floor, while Regulus sat on the edge of the bed, gently brushing his brother’s hair. As he worked, Regulus let his eyes wander around the room. Sirius had decorated each wall with red and golden triangle flags, Gryffindor banners, photos of his friends and several muggle posters of motorcycles and fighter jets (where the hell did he find those?).

One specific photo caught his eyes; the one sitting in his nightstand, next to his bed. The Marauders, looking a lot younger, cheered and jumped up and down in excitement.

“When’s that from? You all look like little babies!” Regulus asked with a hint of amusement.

Sirius smiled “1971. First year in Hogwarts. James had just made the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Our friend, Marlene, had a fancy new camera and snapped a pic, as we celebrated. That’s one of the memories I use, when I try the patronus charm. This and many more. Not sure if it works anymore, though.”

“Have you talked to any of them? You should write to them!”

“Nope. I’ve written to Remus a couple of times, but he doesn’t reply.” Sirius looked at the floor.

Regulus couldn't find a comforting response. He continued brushing his brother’s hair in silence. 

He returned to noticing his surroundings. He caught a glimpse of Sirius’ forearm. There was a familiar new scar there.

“Did Orion punish you again?” he asked quietly.

“Crucio. As always. He told me I can’t keep hiding in my room and I must stop with the muggle music. He also made me promise to join you downstairs for your birthday dinner tomorrow.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. I’m not excited either.”

The awkward silence returned. Regulus decided that quiet time was just the thing Sirius needed. He finished with his hair as the door cracked open. It was Kreacher with a tray of food. He left it in front of the door and quickly left.

“Kreacher cares about us.” Regulus said. “Bet you’re dying of hunger.”

The two brothers began eating. After their lunch, Sirius grabbed a pack of cigarettes from his backpack.

“Where did you find those?” Regulus asked concerned.

“Did you really think I’m staying locked in my room all day? I got them in London a few days ago. I snuck out to get your birthday present. I didn’t forget about you.”

“You didn’t have to. But Sirius, I’m worried about you. How can I help?”

Sirius lit his cigarette and exhaled slowly. “Nothing. I’ll be okay. James and Pete will soon be back from vacation. I’ll probably sneak out again to see them.” He paused. “Mommy dearest will probably start looking for you. You should go. Thanks for the lunch and… the hair thing. Means a lot.”

Regulus left Sirius’ room as quietly as he had entered. He headed towards his room now. 

His room was decorated similarly to his brother’s. A lot of Slytherin sigils, photos of his friends, quidditch related mementos and his prized bookcase. He loved books. Books of all kinds of genres. From academic texts to fantasy epics; though his favourite were novels. He could talk about books for hours. And he often did; with his friends at least. 

His best friend, Pandora Rosier was a quite extraordinary witch, always experimenting with new spells, always being herself. That’s what Regulus admired most about her. She wasn’t afraid of others judging her; she was bubbly and proud. And she was okay with that. Others found her a little odd, that was true, but she was the best friend he could ask. They complemented each other perfectly.   

Regulus couldn't stand watching his brother fade. He had to take matters into his own hands.

He decided to write to James Potter.

Quill in hand, he grabbed a blank parchment and began writing:

“Dear James,

I know it’s not like me to write, but I need your help. Sirius is not doing great. I don’t know what to do. I need your help. Please do something.

”

But he couldn’t just send that outright. Not with his parents watching. He needed a cover-up. A letter to Pandora and Evan Rosier. His owl could make two trips. Easy.

He wrote quickly:

“Dear Dory,

How are you? Has your summer been good since we last talked? You mentioned a boy last time. What was his name? Xenophon? I can’t remember, haha. Are you two going out? Sounds exciting! My parents would be livid if I was hanging out with a Ravenclaw. Please, tell me everything! I’m dying to know.

Fifteen tomorrow. How exciting! (I’m joking)

I’m going to be honest with you. I’m writing to James Potter and using your letter as a decoy for my parents. Don’t take it personally, I love writing to you. But Sirius is not getting better, so I am going to need all the help I can get. I’ll write to Evan too. 

Make sure to say hi to your parents from me!

Sincerely,

”

Then another:

“Dear Evan,

We haven’t talked in a while! How’ve you been? I miss you lots! Your twin had kept me up on all the latest news of the Rosier family gossip. Pandora’s way ahead of you! I want to hear your news. 

By the way, I overheard my parents the other day talking about the Dark Lord. Do you know anything about this? We need to figure out what they are planning. I don’t like it.

Sincerely,

”

Regulus sealed the three envelopes, slipped out of his room, grabbed a few owl treats, and sent them off.

“Now we wait” he whispered.

⛤⛤⛤

4 July 1976

It was early in the morning of his birthday. The sun creeped through the deep green curtains. A soft knock came at the door. It was Sirius. 

“Happy birthday, little Reggie.” he whispered.

Regulus gave him a big smile and gestured to him to lie beside him. Sirius obeyed with a soft thud. He looked better today. More present.

“Thanks, Sirius. Big day today, isn’t it? You ready?”

“Yup. I talked to James yesterday. He’s back in England. Everything will be back in order in no time, I’m sure of it.”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. We’re going to need all the strength we can get, to get through today.”

By noon, 12 Grimmauld’s place would be filled with people, to celebrate his fifteenth birthday. Not at all the celebration Reg wanted, but he could manage with his big brother by his side. 

“I didn’t come here empty handed. I wanted to give you your present before mum and dad barged in here in a panic. You know how they get. They want everything to be perfect.”

They both sat up. Sirius handed him a green paper bag. It was neatly packed, three small presents inside, each wrapped in green paper.

He reached for the first present, sitting at the very top. 

He frantically tore the paper apart like a child. It was a photo album, titled: Black Brothers. Inside were photos of the two of them from babyhood to now. Each photo had a little caption written beneath it in Sirius’ elegant handwriting. They laughed as they flipped through the pages, pointing things out and teasing each other. The album was only halfway filled.

“I thought we could keep adding to it. Together.” Sirius commented.

Regulus was still grinning when Sirius nudged him. “Go ahead, open up the next one!”

The next item was a pocket watch. It was golden and elegant, with the Slytherin sigil on top. Regulus opened his mouth but Sirius, once again interrupted him. 

“It's enchanted. It doesn’t tell time. I’ve charmed it so the second hand always points toward the location of the person you most want to see. I don’t know if it works. If it doesn’t, it’s just a cool ass pocket watch.” Sirius grinned.

“I love it. Thank you. I guess we’ll have to test it.”

“Yeah, yeah, test it some other time. Open the last one!” Sirius said excitedly.

The final item was an envelope. Inside there was a receipt from Quality Quidditch Supplies in Diagon Alley. 

Before Regulus could read it, Sirius cut in. “I ordered it but it wasn’t delivered in time. So here’s the receipt, I'll go get it when I can. Spoiler alert: It's a Comet 220.” His voice beamed.

“No fucking way! You didn’t! Where did you get the money? Sirius, I can't accept this!”

“Yes, you can and you will.” Sirius insisted. “I just saved. A lot. The seeker must have the fastest broom on the market. I shouldn’t have bought you this, if I really wished for Gryffindor to win.”

Regulus laughed. “You’re going to regret buying me this. We are going to crush Gryffindor and any other house that tries to beat us!”

“James is still our chaser. Not a chance!” Sirius shot back. “Did you like the presents? Am I the best brother in the world, or not?” Sirius added with that familiar grin colored on his face.

“Yeah, you are! Thank you!”

He got up and stretched. “Although, I have to help Mommy with the house. I’ll be going downstairs now.”

Sirius’s tone shifted. “I still can’t figure out how you are okay with them. Just… be careful. Don’t let them take your shine away.”

Regulus paused at the door “Yes. I know. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. Thanks again.”

⛤⛤⛤

Downstairs, Regulus walked through the familiar hallway. Behind closed doors, he overheard his mother ordering Kreacher around, voice full of urgency. Regulus slightly opened the door and greeted his mother.

“Happy birthday, my boy.” She said with a cold look drawn on her face. “We are really proud of you. Now make yourself useful and help Kreacher with the dining room. Bella will arrive shortly with news.”

That could only mean one thing. The Dark Lord was gaining power.

“Stop standing there. Go! And please inform your brother to meet his father in his office. Swiftly.” Walburga said sternly.

Regulus obeyed. He climbed up the stairs and informed Sirius. He whispered “Father wants you in his office. Please try to not be so… you. It’s important.”

With that, he made his way to the dining room. The space was dressed in emerald green wallpaper and floor-to-ceiling curtains hung in elegant folds, framing the tall windows. In front of each of them stood floor-standing candle chandeliers, each holding flickering candles that bathed the room in warm, golden light.

Krecher had almost everything prepared. Each plate was set with the proper silverware and fresh candles glowed steadily in their holders. The long wooden table stood intimidating in the center of the room. 

Regulus silently counted the seats; twenty-three. 

Kreacher nudged him and handed him a piece of parchment in Walburga’s perfect, cursive handwriting:

Guest list for Regulus’ Birthday Dinner:

Black (4)

Rosier (4)

Lastrange (2)

Malfoy (2)

Crouch (3)

Burke (5)

Avery (2)

Nott (1)

“Great. Thanks, Kreacher. I guess we are done here. Do you think Sirius will be okay?”

“Master Sirius does not show the proper respect to noble Master Orion... no, not like a proper Black, no he does not...”  Kreacher muttered.

Regulus sighed. Kreacher was right. He was worried for his brother.

Standing in the dining room, he heard yelling from his father's office. Sirius’ voice was louder than Orion's.

“NO! I will not! I’m not interested in whatever Bellatrix has to say! You can’t make me!”

Regulus’ ears popped up, awaiting to hear his father’s response. It was muffled, but parts came through:

“You… the Black Family! Bella… whether you like it or not.” 

Then came Sirius' loud scream. It made his spine chill. 

The door creaked open. His father emerged out alone, his expression calm, his steps measured as he walked toward the dining room. When he entered, he pulled up his sleeves and inspected the room. After assuring everything was in order, he disappeared in search of his wife.

Regulus rushed over to the office. To Sirius. Upon entering, he found him collapsed on the marble floor.

“Shit, Sirius. Are you okay?” he said, hurrying to his side.

“Everything’s swell, as you can see.” he exclaimed as he was trying to get up. “I’ve got used to it by now.”

“Care to fill me in?”

“Eh, nothing to worry about. I’m leaving out the details, but he started going on about duties and responsibilities as the heir to the Black family and all that crap.  I kindly refused and he told me I am a disrespect to our family, and you know... the usual. Ah, also he told me that you should be the rightful heir, and not me. So good luck with that, I guess.”

“Sirius…”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear it.” Sirius cut in quickly. “I’m going back upstairs. Let me know when Bella gets here. Thanks.”

⛤⛤⛤

Bellatrix was late. She arrived just twenty minutes before the other guests would arrive. Both his parents greeted her with a tight hug. Regulus stood silently beside them.

“I’ll go get Sirius” he offered quickly.

“Yes, you do that, Regulus. Afterwards, please stay in your room. We wouldn’t like to be disturbed.” His mother told him coldly.

Regulus rushed over and informed Sirius. He was laying in bed, chain-smoking. Upon hearing the news, he instantly put out his cigarette, ran a hand through his hair, straightened his clothes, and headed downstairs without a word.

Reg remembered his mother’s words and stayed put in his room. The agony was killing him. What were they discussing? What did Sirius have to do with all that? Was the Dark Lord really gaining power? Why didn’t they want Regulus in the room?

The next twenty minutes felt like eons. He was pacing back and forth in his room, trying to hear anything through the thick walls.

Silence. “

"Muffliato, surely” he told himself.

Then, a knock on the front door. He heard his mother’s quick steps as she rushed to greet the guests.

The Malfoys.

Cissy was stunning in a silky, long, silver dress that complimented her perfectly. Her long blonde hair was sleeked back in a high ponytail. She was wearing golden jewelry, surely gifts from her fiancé. One piece stood out: a large diamond ring gleamed on her finger; her engagement ring. 

Lucius was as elegant as ever. His pale blond hair draped neatly over his shoulders. He wore an aristocratic black robe, his walking stick with a snake head on his side. With the other hand, he was holding Narcissa’s. He looked contained. His cold pale gray eyes fixed on Regulus.

Walburga guided them to the dining room and directed them to their seats. Regulus followed silently and sat on an empty chair beside his cousin. 

After a few minutes, every single one of the guests had arrived. Being precisely on time was a sign of great virtue. The only ones missing were the rest of his family. They were still locked in his father’s office with Bella, talking.

Regulus was forced to endure the most painful part of any evening like this: small talk.

“Did you do well in your exams this year?”

“What year will you be in September?”

“Have you thought about your future career? My husband can put in a good word at the Ministry.”

“Is Slytherin still the best house in Hogwarts?”

“A seeker? It’s not often that such a young student earns that position. Great honor, young Black.”

All these meaningless conversations…

Regulus hated that… He wanted to be with his friends; though most of them were present, they didn’t glance his way. That was the way of the Sacred Twenty-Eight.

Kreacher was bringing in drinks for the dinner just as Walburga and Orion entered the room. 

“Please, my dear guests, excuse the delay. Is everything to your liking?”

Sirius joined them right after his mother sat in her chair. To the untrained eye, he seemed composed. But to Regulus, he looked fazed. Terrified. He took a seat to the only empty seat beside him. 

They’d spent years crafting a silent code between them, a private language for secret messages. Sirius placed both hands on his thighs.

That meant: ‘We’ll talk later.’

The rest of the dinner was just as Regulus had predicted; small talk and dull conversation. Finally, after a few hours, the guests began taking their leave.

Only a few remained. The only ones on the table were Bella, Cissy, Lucius and the Black Family. 

Walburga raised her glass slightly. “What a successful dinner, wasn’t it Orion?

“Indeed, dear. Kids, you are excused. You did well tonight.”

The boys didn’t hesitate. They rushed up to Regulus’ room and sat crossed legged on the floor.

“I’m fucked.” Sirius muttered. “They want me to get the Dark Mark. Correction, they’ll have me get the Dark Mark.”

“What’s the Dark Mark?”

“Reg, are you dense?” Sirius snapped, eyes wide. “Have you heard nothing? Voldemort is gaining power! The Dark Mark is his symbol. It’s the brand that every Death Eater bears on their inner left forearm as a sign of their loyalty to him and as a method of summoning him to them when they desire. Bella is close with him and she already got it. They want me to become a Death-Eater.”

“They can’t do that, can they?” Regulus whispered.

“Honestly… I don’t know.”

Regulus was silent for a moment. Then he looked Sirius in the eyes.

“I’ll figure something out. They trust me more than you. We’ll fix this. I promise…”

“There is no fixing that. I’m utterly fucked."

Chapter Text

Date: 6 July 1976

Peter

England at last. Peter had enjoyed his vacation with the Potters in Italy. The two weeks were filled with beaches, sunshine and laughter. Still, he was glad to be home. He had missed it. 

The Pettigrew family lived in Chudley, a small town in England. His mother told him it was one of many villages across Britain where witches and wizards settled in numbers after the International Statute of Secrecy, relying on each other for mutual support while living alongside a Muggle population. James loved bragging that it was also the hometown of the Chudley Cannons Quidditch team.(*)

“Y’know, they play in the British and Irish Quidditch League, and in 1972 they even participated in the International Quidditch Tournament. They’re definitely the next big thing.” he’d say, eyes shining.

James would often go on and on about Quidditch. Peter didn’t mind, as he enjoyed the sport too, but he had never been as obsessed or knowledgeable as his best friend.

During their trip, the boys grew closer than ever. They would talk for hours on end; sometimes all through the night. Sharing jokes, confessions and half-serious plans for the future.

One night, in the hotel’s garden, Peter had opened up about his worries.

“Sometimes I feel left out.” he confessed, rocking back in his chair. “It’s like you and Sirius are inseparable, Remus is… well, Remus and I’m just always two steps behind you.”

“Don’t be daft, Wormy. We’d never leave you out of anything. You are our man!” James replied with a sincere look.

James was overconfident about many things. One of those was their friendship. They had been friends for so long that he sometimes took Peter for granted. Peter disliked that but it didn’t matter now. The Marauders were on break. 

Back within the familiar four walls of his room, Peter felt relieved.

His OWLs results had arrived by owl, of course, just as he was opening his bedroom window. He only cared about the subjects he wanted to excel in: Transfiguration, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures and Defence Against the Dark Arts. 

He tore open the envelope addressed to him. He had earned an O in all four. A grin spread across his face.

Peter had always dreamed of becoming a Herbologist like Professor Sprout. He spent much of his free time browsing through old herbology textbooks his father held in his library.

His father, George Pettigrew, was a Potion Ingredient Specialist. For the past ten years, he worked for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement of the Ministry, regulating illegal potion ingredients. Peter often imagined himself following his footsteps and working alongside him. 

He admired his dad. A steady job. A happy family. A quiet, respectable life. That’s what Peter wanted.

Likewise, he adored his mother. Her life was just as simple as George’s. She used to be a Magizoologist, Bai Howin’s (**) assistant before she retired. Now, she stayed at home, taking care of the household and fussing over the garden. 

A moment after he read his letter, Peter heard a loud thud against his window. Another owl had arrived. He instantly opened his window, and an official looking letter came flying into his room and onto his desk, as the owl flew off again into the sky. The envelope was addressed to his father; it was thick parchment, sealed in red wax, stamped with bold red letters across the back: 

!URGENT! 

Curiosity got the better of him. He glanced over his shoulder, then carefully broke the seal, trying not to tear it. His hands trembled slightly as he unfolded the parchment and began to read.

“Dear Mr. Pittegrew, 

Here’s the list of banned potion ingredients found at a suspected Death Eater’s property. We request an immediate investigation.

Note that you and your family are being watched. Please make haste.

This is an official confidential report. Do not share.  

Department of Magical Law Enforcement” 

Shit. 

Peter’s stomach dropped.

He had just read something he definitely shouldn’t have.

But that didn’t matter now. The rumors he’d overheard whilst at Hogwarts were true. Death eaters were a real organization and they were dangerous. 

Peter had never really cared much about politics. But something about the letter made his skin crown. People were dying. Disappearances. Attacks. The Daily Prophet didn’t report half of it.

He resealed the envelope as neatly as he could and rushed downstairs to his father’s study.

He knocked at the door once.

“Come in, come in” His father’s voice came from inside. 

Peter stepped in, holding the sealed letter. “Hi Dad. An owl brought this to my window. It’s addressed to you.”

 “Ah, thank you, son.” George replied, taking the envelope without looking up from his book.

Peter turned to leave, then paused. His hand rested on the knob, he took a big breath and asked: “Dad… are we safe?”

That got his attention. George looked up, eyes narrowing slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Who are the Death Eaters?”

“You don’t have to worry about that, my darling boy. They are just some really bad people. The ministry has everything under control.” he replied with a calm voice, giving him a sincere smile. 

“Are you sure?” Peter frowned. “I’ve heard people talk about some serious stuff, but the Daily Prophet doesn’t say anything about it.” 

“You have to trust the Ministry on that one. Don’t give it much thought. It’s nothing.” 

Peter sighed once more and walked out, without another word. His parents still treated him like a child. He was already sixteen; he wasn’t stupid or naive. Something about his father’s answer didn’t feel quite right.

Still uneasy with his father's response, he had to investigate the matter more. It was rather unsettling. What did his father hide from him? Was he really safe? Was his family safe?

Peter sat on his bed, staring outside his window idly. He had more questions than answers. And he needed to find them for himself. He knew his parents wouldn’t take him seriously.

He decided to send a letter to Sirius. He for sure would know more about that.

Quill in hand, he grabbed an empty parchment and began writing:

“Dear Padfoot,

How is your summer going so far? James told me you’d want to meet when we got back. Well, we are back, so let’s go out for a butterbeer!

Also… I thought maybe you could enlighten me about some stuff. Do you know anything about the ‘Death Eaters’? My dad says I shouldn’t worry, but I feel uneasy. Strange things are happening.

Should I be scared?

Sincerely,

Wormtail.”

Sirius didn’t care much about politics either, but given his family status, he must know more than most. If anyone knew what was going on beneath the surface, it’d be him.

Peter sat back on his bed again, thinking about the letter from the ministry. 

Why would someone want illegal potion ingredients? Surely to hurt people. Surely not him and his family though… right? If not, then why were they being watched? What did his father know and why was he so secretive about it?

A soft knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts. His mother stepped inside, holding a bowl of sliced fruits.

“Hello, my boy.” she said gently. “Would you like some fruit snacks?” Her dirty-blonde hair was messy, held together by a quill.

“Sure, mum. Thanks…” he paused “Can I ask you something weird?”

“Of course you can, sweetheart.” she smiled.

“Should I be worried about what’s happening? I keep hearing about some stuff and-”

“No, Peter.” she interrupted gently, as she set the bowl on Peter’s dresser. She moved closer to the bed and placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Everything is okay. It is true that we live in weird times. Things happen; that’s life. But that does not mean that we should worry about every tiny detail. That is grown up stuff. I promise we’ll let you know when we know more.”

He nodded. “Anyway… thanks for the fruits.”

“Not a problem, Peter.”

⛤⛤⛤

7 July 1976

It was late in the afternoon when Peter was woken from his nap, by loud voices echoing from downstairs. His parents were arguing - a rare occurrence. The noise was coming from the kitchen.

Peter crept quietly to the top of the stairs, to overhear what they were talking about. He sat down, elbows on his knees, palms pressed to his face, and listened.

“George, you will not accept it. You must not!”

“And what would you have me do? Sit idle? You read the letter. We are being watched.”

“Then sign your resignation. I’ll find a job too. We’ll manage. The Potters can help us if it comes to that. Monty is generous. But I will not have you endangering our family for the sake of the Ministry!

“Please Emily, listen to yourself, for once in your life!” his father snapped. “I cannot leave the Ministry. Following their orders is the only way we’ll stay safe! Why can’t you understand this?”

“Oh, George…” her voice softened. “It real ly is that bad, isn’t it? ”

“We don’t know yet.” his father muttered. “Crouch said that the Dark Lord has already recruited the giants. Everything is hectic in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”

Peter froze. He stood up and fled to the safety of his room.

He was scared. Hogwarts was the only place that felt safe anymore. His home no longer did.

He sat at his desk, his eyes drifting to a framed photo sitting in the far right corner. It was of him and his friends, in their first year at Hogwarts, all of them cheering and jumping up and down like idiots.

“In two months” he whispered to himself, “we’ll be all together again. And safe.”

Peter knew that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep again. In a few hours he would meet up with James and Sirius in Diagon Alley for butterbeer. He hadn’t seen Sirius ever since they left school. 

He started getting ready for the evening. A long steamy shower helped calm his nerves. He threw on a red tight fitting t-shirt and the first pair of cargo pants he found. 

Just as he finished dressing up, the doorbell rang, followed by loud knocks on the front door.

“Who could it be at this hour? We aren’t expecting anyone.” he thought.

He rushed downstairs and opened the door. On the front step stood a tall man dressed in formal wizarding robes.

His voice was sharp and deep. “Boy, is your parents home?”

“Y-yes. Yes I’ll go fetch them.” Peter replied, voice trembling.

He hurried to George’s office and pushed the door open.

“Dad, there is someone for you at the door. I th-think he is from the Ministry.”

His father’s eyes widened in panic as he stood up. “I’m coming.”

Peter followed him back to the door; Emily emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron as she joined them.

“Mister and Missus Pettigrew,” the tall man began, “I am here on behalf of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. May we speak in the living room?”

“Of course.” Emily said carefully, “I’ll put the kettle on. Be right back.”

Peter sat beside his father on the couch, while the man settled in the blue armchair across from them.

“Can we be of any help, sir?” his father said nervously.

“Better to wait for your wife.” he replied coldly.

After a few moments of silence, Emily returned with a tray of hot tea and four cups. She served the beverages and sat beside her son.

“Missus Pettigrew,” the man began, “I believe all of us here know that you read the letter addressed to your husband. Do not fret, I am not here to punish you. I’m here to offer you a job.”

The three of them stared at him wide-eyed.

“The Ministry has reasons to speculate that the Dark Lord may target magical beasts, such as werewolves, to join his cause. With all your experience, we would greatly value your input.”

“Νο!” George yelped.

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Emily said calmly. She turned to the man. “With all due respect, sir, I must decline. My place is here with my family. I need to take care of them.”

The man rolled his eyes. “The pay is substantial. Your son here attends Hogwarts and everything is in order. I don’t see why you would turn down such an… exquisite proposal.”

“It sounds to me like you are desperate.” Emily said sharply. “I will accept only if-”

“Are you serious, Emily? After what we just discussed this morning?!” George interrupted.

“Please, love, let me finish.” She turned back to the man. “As I was saying, I’ll accept only if the Ministry casts the highest grade of protective enchantments on our home. I want the best charms and the best Aurors. I can’t have my family exposed and endangered.”

Silence.

The man rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I accept. Do we have a deal?”

Emily nodded in response. 

“Then I will take my leave. You are to begin on the second of September, once your boy is off to school. Thank you for your cooperation. The tea was lovely.” he added with a small smile.

The door clicked shut behind them. The Pettigrews sat in silence.

George stood up abruptly.

“I can’t fucking believe this Emily! You-”

“George, language. Peter is here. Let’s not argue.” His mother cut in, her tone firm.

“No, let him listen. He is sixteen; he is not a child anymore, Emily.” his father yelled, staring at Peter.

“I-I can leave. It’s okay.” he whispered with his head lowered.

“I said no!” George repeated. “Why did you accept it? After everything I just told you about how bad things are at the Ministry!”

“If you want to have this conversation here, then okay!” Emily said, vividly upset. “It’s the only way to keep us safe. Think about it! If we will both work for the ministry, Peter will be at school and when we are home, no one will dare to come near us. Not with all the Ministry protections. It makes sense.”

Peter wasn’t usually included in family decisions but this time he agreed with his mother; working at the ministry was safer for her than being alone at home. “Mum’s right, Dad.” he mumbled “She is right to be scared of being alone while you are away at work. And… I’m scared too, y’know.”

Both parents turned to look at him in surprise.

Emily pulled him into a hug.

“Oh, my boy. You shouldn’t feel scared. Everything is under control. No need to worry while we are here.”

His father embraced him as well. Everyone was shaken up.

“It’s whatever, guys.” Peter said with a weak smile. “I’m tougher than I look, trust me. Anyway… I think I need to go meet my friends; they’ll cheer me up.”

“Of course, son. Go and be careful.” George said, handing him a handful of Floo Powder.

Peter stepped into the fireplace, tossed the powder at his feet, and shouted clearly:

“Diagon Alley!”

Chapter Text

Date: 6 July 1976

James

“Dear James,

I know it’s not like me to write, but I need your help. Sirius is not doing great. I don’t know what to do. I need your help. Please do something.

”

James tore the letter open while slouched on the living room couch, his father absorbed in the Daily Prophet. The message, written in neat handwriting, was from Sirius’ younger brother. James’ brows creased as he read with concern tightening his expression. 

One thing was clear: Sirius was not okay in Grimmauld’s Place . He wasn’t just unhappy - he was suffering. And if Regulus Black had written to him of all people, it had to be bad.

They hardly spoke at school. Regulus was quiet, reserved. Most of what James knew about him came secondhand through Sirius. But clearly, Regulus cared deeply for his brother. Enough to write to James for help.

James was still clutching the letter in his hand when his father glanced up from the paper.

“You okay, James?”

“Honestly, Dad… no, I don’t think so. Sirius is unwell. I’m worried.”

 “Why don’t we invite him here for the rest of the summer?” Fleamont Potter suggested with a thoughtful frown. “I could speak to Walburga, if you’d like.”

James gave a humorless laugh. “I doubt his parents would allow it. He’ll sneak out today, just for a bloody butterbeer. Can you believe that?”

“Ah, figures.” Mr. Potter clicked his tongue. “Whatever we can do for you or Sirius, just give us a holler. Say the word and it’s done.”

“Thanks Dad. I mean it. I’m gonna go get ready for Diagon Alley.”

James headed upstairs, lost in thought. 

“ What can I do to help Sirius out? Why doesn’t he open up to me anymore? The Marauders have to make up…”

James picked up his two-way mirror (the one he and Sirius used to talk) and stared into it, seeing only his own reflection. He had to make sure his best friend was doing okay.

“Psst... Padfoot, you there?” he whispered.

No answer.

Figures

No matter, he’d see him in a few hours. Then, they would talk about everything. James’ anger had worn out. Whatever happened with Snape, he didn’t care anymore. He only cared about his friend.

“Bullocks.” he muttered, flopping onto his bed. As he rolled onto his side, his glasses slipped out of place and dug uncomfortably into his nose. He pushed them back up, exhaling sharply. Sitting around wasn’t helping.

Maybe a walk through Diagon Alley before his friends arrived would kill some time. He’d look at some store windows and browse Quidditch supplies. That would keep his mind occupied.

James popped out of bed, put on the first clothes he found and hurried downstairs. He grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, and before leaving he yelled to his parents: “I’m leaving guys! Going to meet up with Sirius and Peter. See you later!”

Fleamont and Euphemia barely had time to respond before James stepped into the fireplace, tossed the powder at his feet, and shouted clearly:

“Diagon Alley!”

⛤⛤⛤

James arrived at the Leaky Cauldron. The place was packed. Ιt was the most popular wizarding pub and inn located in London, after all. He scanned the room; it hasn't changed a bit from when he last visited. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old barman, who was quite bald and looked like a gummy walnut. All as usual. 

James slipped through the back door and into the small, walled courtyard. He tapped the correct brick in the wall (from the rubbish bin, three up and two across) and the bricks reshaped themselves into a small hole at first and then formed a large archway. Ahead of him stood the main road, alive with people and laughter.

He still had at least an hour until he had to meet up with Sirius and Peter. With no real destination in mind, he found himself wandering the main street, walking aimlessly. As he passed Brigg's Brooms, he stopped to look at the display window. His eyes focused on the new broomstick: The Comet 220. 

It was beautiful.

The display model took up most of the window space, as it deserved to. With its dark wooden shaft, silver footrests, and neatly waxed deep-brown bristles, it looked like a Quidditch Cup waiting to happen. He wanted it badly.

As he admired the broom, something inside the shop caught his eye. A tall, well-built boy in the shop. His best friend was talking with the shop owner, vividly upset. James didn’t hesitate. He rushed into the shop.

“Padfoot!” he called out, pulling his best friend into a hug from behind. Sirius jumped, startled, his striking grey eyes widening.

“Excuse me one moment, sir.” he said to the shopkeeper as he was trying to compose himself from the ambush hug. Sirius instantly turned and grinned from ear to ear to his friend. “Let me finish up here, and we can go outside.”

Sirius turned back to the employee, “Look, I’ve already prepaid for the broom, and I just want it delivered as soon as possible. Please send a letter as soon as it’s delivered. Thank you.”

“Of course, Mr. Black. We’ll have the order ready in about two business days.”

James was waiting patiently for his friend to finish up. Sirius started walking to the door “C’mon, I’m done here.”

James threw his arm on top of Sirius’ shoulders. “Ugh, I missed you, Pads.”

“Same here, Prongs. Things at home have been… hectic. You don’t wanna know half of it.” Sirius muttered, his voice cracking.

James looked at his friend and smiled. “Tell me all about it. I’m all ears.”

Sirius hesitated, then smirked. “Wait a second. Does that mean I am forgiven?”

“By me? One-hundred percent, yes. By Moony and Wormtail? I’m not so sure yet. But I’m positive they’ll come around sooner than later. Don’t worry about it.”

They found a nearby bench and sat down. James was glad he'd found Sirius before Peter showed up. Sirius rarely opened up when others were around.

“So…” James began, “How’s your summer been? Any word from Moony?”

“Erm…” Sirius paused for a moment. “No. I’ve sent him a couple of letters. No answer, of course. How about you?”

“We talked before Pete and I left for vacation. He seemed a bit better.”

“Right… right.” Sirius stared at the ground, fidgeting with his fingers, then forced a smile. “So, how was Venice? Is it as beautiful as they say?”

James chuckled. “Yes it was, Pads. Absolutely gorgeous. We had a wonderful time. But Sirius, why didn’t you use our mirror? You barely reached out. How is your summer so far? Is it really that bad at home?” 

James knew that Sirius was dodging the question.

Sirius sighed. “Terrible, Prongs. Just… terrible.” His eyes drifted away.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you, mate. I’m not going anywhere.” James said as he was squeezing his best friend’s shoulder.

“Nope. Not really. But I have to.” Sirius glanced around. “Can we find a quieter place to talk? It’s not safe out here.”

They both stood up and walked back to the Leaky Cauldron. It was still packed, but the noise would help mask their conversation. Plus, Peter was supposed to meet them there.

They found a small empty table and ordered two butterbeers.

“I’m just going to just say it. So here it is.” Sirius said finally. “My family is forcing me to get the Dark Mark.”

James froze and stared at him with his eyes wide open. “They what? No. No way. No, that’s not happening!”

“Yup. And they plan on doing it soon. I don’t know all the details, but I’m screwed. Reg said he’ll try to figure something out, but I doubt it. So…yeah. That’s on top of the whole Snape prank fallout. So my summer is going great so far!” he added with a bit of sarcasm.

James was shocked. He was at a loss for words. “I-” he managed to say.

“It’s okay, James.” Sirius said, his voice cool and detached. “Reg and I will figure something out. I just… needed you to know.” Sirius replied.

“No, I’ll help. You don’t have to deal with this alone. Come to my place. You and Regulus. Leave that place! I mean it. Mum and Dad wouldn’t mind and we’ve got the space. Come live with us!”

Sirius gave him a sad smile. “Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. I would kill to move in with the Potters. Trust me.”

Just then, a short, chubby blonde guy stood in front of their table with his hands pressed on his hips.

“Pete!” James stood up and hugged his friend. “Come, sit. How are you?” 

Peter collapsed into a seat next to James and exhaled. “Things are bad, guys.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.”

“What’s wrong with you, Padfoot?” Peter shot a puzzled expression at Sirius.

“Oh, you know. Only everything. How about you? Spill it.”

Peter took a deep breath and began talking at a rapid pace. “The Ministry’s a mess. They want my mother to work for them. They fear the Dark Lord and his potential. From what I have heard, he may be targeting magical beasts, such as werewolves, to join his cause. Oh shit, Moony. Is he okay? I haven’t talked to him in a while. I must tell him the news. Should I warn him? Or not? I don’t know. Anyway, mum accepted and she’ll be working for the Ministry starting in September. Ah, also, my family is being watched and dad is investigating banned potion ingredients found at a suspected Death Eater’s house. I probably shouldn’t even be talking about any of it, but I just can't help it.”

“Whoa, whoa. Wormy, please slow down.” James cut in.

Peter stared at both of them, breathing heavily. “Okay. I think I’m done. Thanks for listening. I feel better. Phew.”

Sirius and James looked at each other, stunned. Then Sirius asked between chuckles., “Are you okay, Wormtail?”

Peter grinned, and all three of them burst out laughing.

“I swear to Merlin, we haven’t had such an info dump in a good while.” James managed to say between giggles. “I missed us. But honestly, how can we laugh at any of this?”

“Laugh through the pain, Prongs.” Sirius replied with a smirk. “That’s the trick.”

⛤⛤⛤

James and his friends stayed in that pub for a few hours talking about everything and nothing. But eventually, Sirius had to get back home; his family would probably start looking for him soon.

Peter and James remained on the table alone.

“So… that was a success, right Wormy?” James said with a grin.

“I guess. But we have to do something about the whole Moony situation. I get that he is mad, but c’mon!” Peter exclaimed.

“I’ll handle it. I’m gonna write to him and everything will work out. If not, we’ll figure something out. That stupid prank won’t be the end of the Marauders. Mark my words!”

“Sure. I trust you, Prongs.” Peter smiled. “I should probably get going too. I don’t know if my folks will be okay.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll come with you to the fireplace.”

They paid and made their way to the floo. James went in first.

“Bye, Pete. See you!” and then spoke clearly: “Potter’s estate!” 

He emerged in his house; his mother was cooking dinner and it smelled wonderful. He walked towards the kitchen; soft jazz music was playing in the background. He found his parents setting up the table together, chatting and laughing.

James leaned against the doorframe, smiling faintly at the scene.

Euphemia noticed him and smiled, “Oh, hi James! We didn’t hear you come in. Dinner will be ready in a bit. We’ll call you when it’s done.”

James nodded and headed upstairs to his bedroom, changed into more comfortable clothes and sat on his desk. That’s when he noticed the letter.

Another one from Regulus.

“When did this come in?” he muttered to himself, tearing it open.

“Dear James,

I’m paying a fortune on same-day delivery. I think you have already received my other letter and I’m certain Sirius told you about things at home. These last couple of days, I’m trying to figure out the details about our problem. Bella is scheduled to come on the 15th, but I don’t know more than that. I don’t know what to do… 

Please help. I feel useless.

Sincerely, 

”

James felt useless too. There was nothing he could do to help. Sirius had to figure a solution himself. But that didn’t sit right. He wanted to turn his world upside down for him. He just… couldn’t.

He picked up his mirror, “Pads, you there?”

This time, Sirius replied, whispering. “Yes. I’m here. Mother and father are fast asleep.”

“Good. Bring Regulus. We need to talk. Make a plan.”

Sirius' face vanished, and James was left staring at his own reflection. A few moments later the mirror lit up again, but this time the two brothers stared back at him.

Regulus spoke first. “Okay, we’ve got eleven days. I guess that’s a relief, but we still have no way of getting Sirius out of it. Any ideas?”

No one answered. Sirius was looking cold and disappointed, staring straight to the floor.

“C’mon Pads.” James said gently. “We’ll figure something out. And don’t forget about what I’ve told you in the Leaky Cauldron. I can ask my parents, right now. For both of you.”

“You don't get it, James.” Sirius snapped, “We can’t just leave! I’ve told you; it’s not that simple. I’m still underage, and so is Regulus. We just can’t!”

“Wait, wait.” Regulus chimed in, alarmed “What are you talking about? Tell me you are not thinking of running away from home, Sirius.”

Sirius just rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed at his brother. “I can’t do this right now. Just take the mirror and go to your room.”

Both James and Regulus were caught off guard. Regulus obeyed and walked to his room through the dark halls of Grimmauld Place. James couldn’t see much, just glimpses; ornate wallpaper, heavy curtains. The mirror jostled in Regulus’ hand as he walked.

He caught glimpses of Regulus’ room. It was exactly how he imagined it; lots of Slytherin stuff, dark colors and loads of Quidditch mementos.

“Did you see the new Comet 220?” James asked casually. “Fastest broom on the market right now.”

Regulus gasped and lifted the mirror to his face. “You scared me, Potter. And yes, of course I’ve seen it. I had my eye on it for a while, but Sirius bought it for me for my birthday. It hasn’t arrived yet, but I’ll certainly have it for school.”

“You’re joking…right? I’m so jealous right now! I wish I had a brother like Sirius!!!” James said with a playful grin.

Regulus laughed and propped the mirror on his desk so he didn’t have to hold it anymore. That’s when James really saw him; his striking grey-blue eyes, his delicate yet sharp features.

He was beautiful…

“So…” Reg began, the smile fading from his face. “I think we need to postpone the whole thing. I don’t know how, but we must. We need more time.”

“I’ll think of something. Hm… Maybe a party? A formal get-together? Ever since my dad sold the company that made Sleekeazy's Hair Potion, our reputation has greatly improved. If my folks host something, do you think your family would attend?”

Regulus looked puzzled, then scratched his head. “That’s… actually a good idea. Orion wouldn’t miss it. I’ll let you deal with it.”

James smiled widely. “Yes! That’s what I’m talking about!”

An awkward silence followed.

James hated awkward silences.

“So… when did you get into Quidditch?”

“My cousin taught me to ride-” he paused, “Potter, are you making small-talk?”

“Hah, yeah, I think I am.” James grinned.

Regulus smirked. “Sure, I guess. Well, as I was saying, Andromeda taught me. When she left, I used her broom and… well, you know the rest.”

“You are a bloody good seeker, that’s for sure. And if what you said is true, we better practice more if we want to win against you!”

“Hahah, you bet! The Quidditch Cup will be ours.” Regulus smiled.

From downstairs, James heard his mother calling. Dinner was ready.

“Sorry, Reg. I’ve got to go. I had fun talking to you. Look for my owl, yeah? G’night.”

“Goodnight, Potter,” Regulus said softly, and the mirror went dark.

Chapter Text

Date: 15 July 1976

Sirius

Sirius had never felt this hopeless in his life. It was like everything was crumbling around him. His whole world was collapsing, piece by piece.

His parents were watching his every move, hovering over even the tiniest thing he did. He couldn’t talk to James, couldn’t spend any time alone with Regulus, and sneaking out was completely off the table. The only way he could communicate with his friends now was through letters… well at least with James and Peter. Remus still hadn’t written back…

Sirius had decided he wouldn’t bother him anymore. If Remus wanted to, he would reach out for himself. He couldn’t keep begging for forgiveness; he had more urgent things to deal with.

James had written saying he could postpone the whole ordeal. But even that wasn’t enough to delay the inevitable. The Potters’ get-together was happening that afternoon. Fleamont and Euphemia were aware of Sirius’ situation and had promised to see what they could find out, but it still felt like too little, too late.

Sirius sulked in his room, a Queen record playing softly in the background. ‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy’ filled the air as he chain-smoked by the window. The music made him nostalgic.

Remus was the one who introduced him to muggle music, and Queen had quickly become a favourite. They used to spend hours listening to different albums and talking; Remus had an impeccable music taste - he always had. 

Sirius was quietly humming along to the lyrics when a brown barn owl barged into his room. He recognized it instantly; it was Remus’ owl.

Sirius immediately placed his cigarette on the ashtray, grabbed some owl snacks from the drawer and rushed to the window. After taking the letter and leaving a few seeds for the owl, he held the envelope tightly in his hands. It had that familiar scent; like countryside and old books. Like Remus. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and held the letter to his chest. 

This letter could easily turn his frown upside down.

He tore it open, and Remus’ messy handwriting made his stomach drop.

“Dear Sirius,

I wanted to write to you multiple times, but I just didn’t have the words. I still don’t. But here I am.

I guess my anger has started to wear off. At least a little. I still need time and haven’t fully forgiven you… but I’m willing to try.

James told me you are not doing so well, but he didn’t say much. I suppose this is me checking in. Being so far from London had me missing bits of your day-to-day life.

So… how are you?

Remus J. Lupin”

Sirius stared at the letter like it was a gift from Merlin himself. Remus had finally written back.

A slight grin slowly spread across his face.

Remus was willing to try.

It was the best thing Sirius had heard in weeks.

He hugged the letter again and whispered to himself, “I’m not dreaming. This is real.”

He wanted to reply right away, to pour everything out onto parchment. But he couldn’t just write silly words. He wanted every word to be right. This had to be perfect. He wanted his friend back.

He read the letter again. And again. Probably five times. Maybe more.

He would’ve kept reading, but the sound of the door opening broke his focus.

Kreacher.

“Master Orion summons young Master Sirius to the dining room.”

Sirius grunted, left the letter open on his desk and followed the elf downstairs. He already knew what this was about. His father would say the ceremony had been postponed. That it would happen ‘very soon’.

Bullshit.

Both his parents were already waiting. His mother had the familiar cold and harsh expression on her face, with her arms crossed on the long wooden table. His father sat beside her, expression just as stern. Orion locked eyes with his oldest son. That look. He knew it well. He was angry.

“Father, mother.” Sirius found the courage to say as he took a seat across from them.

“We postponed the meeting with Bellatrix.” Orion said firmly. “Until after the party. She is going to wait for us here until we return. Also we’ve invited some special guests to witness the ceremony.”

“We expect you to be on your best behavior." Walburga added. “Don’t embarrass us. We expect nothing less from the heir to the Black House. Is that clear, Sirius?”

“Yes, mother.” he replied with his head bowed down. “When are we leaving for the Potters?” he added quieter.

“In one and a half hours, son. You and your brother best start getting ready. Today is going to be a great day for the House of Black.” Orion said proudly.

Sirius felt sick. There was no escaping this. James’ offer started to look like his only option.

How incredible it would be to live with James. To be free. But that was just a dream. And Sirius had learned long ago that dreams were for fools.

Fools… 

But Sirius was a fool. Maybe the foolest of them all. Because he dreamt all the time. Of running away, of growing up too fast, of finally being free.

But those were just dreams. Dreams and nothing more. And after today he had to be the heir his parents designed him to be.

He left the dining room and rushed back upstairs, heart pounding. Rereading Remus’ letter once more could give him the courage he needed.

But when he opened his bedroom door he found his brother sitting on his bed, holding Remus’ letter. Reading it.

“The fuck are you doing with that, Reg?! Leave it alone!” Sirius exclaimed angrily.

“I-” Regulus stammered as Sirius snatched the letter out of his hands. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I just…saw the letter and I was curious. That’s all.”

“Get out of my room now, Regulus!” Sirius yelled.

“But Sirius, about today. I wanted to-” Regulus tried to say.

“No! Get out!” Sirius yelled.

And he did. He didn’t need another word. Regulus quietly walked towards the door, taking small careful steps.

As he reached the door, Sirius muttered under his breath, almost too low to hear, “You should be the rightful heir. You’re everything they want. And that’s not a compliment.”

Regulus froze with his back turned on his brother. 

“Wh-what?” Regulus whispered, voice trembling.

“You heard me.” Sirius replied louder this time. “It should have been you!” 

Regulus stood there for one more second. Then he sighed and quietly closed the door behind him.

Sirius collapsed back onto the bed.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” he muttered to himself.

Of course he wasn’t pissed at Reg. He’d just snapped. Regulus just pushed the wrong buttons.

The truth is he would have shown him the letter. He wanted to talk about today. But with all going on, he didn’t need a curious little Reggie barging into his room and messing with his stuff.

But that wasn’t what Regulus was doing, was it? No, of course not.

Sirius felt terrible for lashing out on his brother. He couldn’t help it. He was angry. Sad. Devastated even. The pressure, the fear had just all spilled out in the wrong direction. It wasn’t Regulus’ fault. It never had been.

A single tear rolled down Sirius’ cheek. He couldn’t cry anymore; he was tired. But it didn’t matter. He had accepted his fate; his parents had won…

And worst of all…

He’d hurt the one person who still believed in him.

Never in a million years would he want his little brother to be in his place.

But that’s exactly what he said to him.

And it hurt him. He knew it did…

⛤⛤⛤

The Blacks were ready for the party. All of them wore their formal wizarding robes; elegant, dark, made of silk. The robes radiated wealth, tradition, and old-blood pride without being overly showy. Sirius felt like a doll pl aced for auctio n. 

They looked like a real family. But that was the furthest from the truth.

Sirius’ eyes drifted to the tall grandfather clock; quarter to seven. In just a few hours his life would completely change.

His gaze then drifted to his brother, standing beside him. Regulus had his head lowered, hands clasped behind his back, posture perfect. He was the perfect son. Although he regretted what he said earlier, it was the truth: Regulus would make the perfect heir.

They arrived at the Potters’ House exactly at seven o’clock. Mr. Potter greeted them with a warm smile. As they entered, the house smelled of lavender and freshly cooked food. Sirius felt warmth not from the temperature, but from the welcoming atmosphere. It was as though the house itself was inviting him in.

Sirius had only been to James’ house only once before, during the summer break of their first year. The house had remained mostly unchanged since then; maybe a few more photographs on the walls. It was the same cozy place Sirius remembered.

They all settled in the living room, waiting for the other guests to arrive. Sirius spotted some familiar faces already sitting on the couch, Mrs. and Mr. Longobottom with their son Frank. Frank had just graduated and was already talking about becoming an Auror. He’d aced his exams and he'd been accepted into the rigorous training programme starting in September.

Mrs. Potter entered the room. Her beautiful auburn hair, big blue eyes and perfect smile filled the room with warmth.

“Shall I get you something to drink before dinner?” she asked the Black family.

“Just plain firewhiskey, Euphemia.” Walburga answered, her smile as fake as her politeness.

Sirius and Regulus remained silent, grabbing a seat beside Frank. 

“Sup, Black?” Frank nudged Sirius’ arm.

“Looking good, Longbottom!” Sirius smirked. “I heard you're gonna be an Auror, huh?”

His mother’s gaze shot across the room and fake coughed. It was the signal: stop talking, be respectful, et cetera. Sirius sighed and fell silent.

In a few minutes, most of the guests had arrived. Men from the ministry and other families from the sacred twenty-eight. Sirius noticed that James was nowhere to be found. He wanted to talk to him; he might’ve come up with a brilliant plan to get him out of today’s hell.

Behind him, familiar voices started to get louder and louder as the time went by. More guests and more annoying chatter filled the room. Sirius had zoned out, but his brother’s elbow nudging him brought him back to reality. Sirius shot him a confused look.

“Look.” Reg whispered, pointing his eyes to their parents, who were mingling with other guests. “Coast clear. Get up. Let’s find James.” 

Sirius scanned his environment, stood up and headed towards the kitchen alongside his brother. There they found him, adding the final touches to the dinner.

“Here you go, Miffy. A little parsley on top, and it should be perfect.” James said to the house elf.

The Black brothers froze at the doorway. James Potter was cooking… with his house-elf. He had an apron on, for Merlin’s sake. Sirius couldn’t help but smile.

James wiped his hands on a towel, removed the apron and only then he noticed the two figures staring at him.

“Ah, you’re here! Why didn’t you say something when you came in?” James grinned.

“Since when do you cook? And since when do you help your house elf?” Regulus asked, his face twisted in confusion. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? That's hilarious!” Sirius burst out, holding in a laugh. “I wish I had a camera in hand! You look absolutely ridiculous!”

“Stop mocking me, Pads! Also Reg, I’ve always been cooking with Miffy. She’s the coolest house elf I know. Taught me everything I know.” James smirked. “Okay so. I may have some bad news.”

Sirius swallowed hard.

“All of my ideas are still nowhere near ready for execution. Do we know when it’s postponed to?”

“Yes.” Sirius said, his smile quickly fading. He was instantly yanked back to the harsh reality.

“After dinner.” Regulus chimed in, his voice barely above a whisper.

James froze, his expression turning cold. “No. No, you’re both lying. Tell me you are. It can’t be. It’s too soon!”

The three boys fell into a heavy silence for a couple of minutes, trying to process the reality of the situation.

“I don’t-” James finally stammered, his voice trembling.

“I have accepted it, James. There is no way I’m getting out of it. My life as I knew it is over.”

Just as he said that, Mr. Potter entered the room.

“Ah, boys. Just who I was looking for.” he said with a cunning voice. “Your parents are planning to leave exactly after dinner.” he added bitterly.

None of the boys answered.

“C’mon, lads. I might still have an ace up my sleeve.”

They all looked at him with curiosity.

“What they are planning is still illegal. We can turn them in. I didn’t want to resort to this, but-”

“No!” Regulus interrupted firmly. “Like it or not, they are still my family. They’ll end up in Azkaban if you do that.”

“Regulus,” Fleamont moved closer to him, voice softening. “You know the consequences, if we do nothing, don’t you?”  

Regulus stiffened. Of course he knew. But it didn’t matter. He was just the shadow of his parents. He couldn’t disappoint them.

Sirius sighed. “It’s okay, Mr. Potter. I’ll deal with it. Thank you for trying.”

Fleamont forced a smile and patted Sirius on the back, pity in his eyes. But he didn’t need pity. He needed freedom. 

“Dinner is ready. Shall we?” Mr. Potter said, gesturing towards the door.

“You two go ahead.” James said, his head lowered. “I need a word with Regulus. We’ll be out in a minute.”

Sirius’ brows creased but he followed Mr. Potter into the dining room.

He took his seat next to his mother. After a while, James emerged with Regulus behind him.

The dinner went as Sirius expected. Lots of pointless chatter, good food and a sprinkle of smart remarks from Fleamont Potter himself. He had a way with words; always throwing small digs about the state of things in the wizarding world.

Sirius thought that Fleamont was actually a genius. He knew how to twist a conversation to his liking. Those were some skills. Sirius couldn’t help but smile every time Fleamont spoke.

Right after dessert, his father stood up, checked his pocket watch and announced that it was time to leave. Mrs. Potter tried her best to make them stay longer, but his father didn’t budge.

Sirius swallowed, his face betraying his fear. He locked eyes with James and he stared back, equally terrified.

James walked them to the door.

“Take care! I hope you enjoyed our company.” he said with a smile, closing the door behind them.

Sirius’ heart was beating faster than ever. He took a big breath and followed behind his parents. Regulus was standing beside them, looking composed. How could he look so calm? Well, it wasn’t he who was about to get fucked.

⛤⛤⛤

12 Grimmauld Place. The unwelcoming set of front steps leading to a grand front door loomed before Sirius. He stared at the silver knocker in the shape of a twisted serpent on the door. There were lights coming from the windows. People were already waiting for them. He could feel sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Come on, Sirius.” Orion snapped, almost yelling.

Sirius took slow steps towards the house. Walburga rang the loud doorbell, straightened her posture and waited for the answer.

Bellatrix opened the door with a cold smile. She bowed slightly to her aunt and uncle.

“Welcome.” she said, with a wicked smile. “Everything is ready.” she assured Walburga.

As they stepped inside Sirius was immediately hit with a gust of cold, suffocating air. In comparison to James’ warm, welcoming home, this place felt like a tomb. Cold, menacing and cruel.

Sirius heard commotion coming from the dining room; some of the voices sounded familiar, but some didn’t.

He walked into the eerie room. It was lit by a single dim candle, casting long shadows on the walls. 

“Welcome, dear guests.” his father began to speak. “Today marks a great day in the history of the Black family. I summoned you here as witnesses.”

“Hear, hear!” the others chimed in, raising their glasses in unison.

“Bellatrix,” his father continued, “as the most trusted follower of the Dark Lord, will perform the ritual.”

Sirius took a deep breath, holding in tears. His gaze drifted to his brother, who stood stoically beside him, staring straight ahead.

“Present yourself, boy.” Mr. Avery barked at Sirius.

Sirius froze. His throat went dry. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move.

“Ugh, honestly Walburga,” Bellatrix sneered. “Does the boy even have manners?”

“Yes, I do!” Sirius snapped, his voice trembling. “Just not for you, dear cousin.”

The entire room turned its gaze on him. 

“I will not do it. I made it perfectly clear that I won’t!” he added, his voice breaking with fear.

His mother approached him slowly. She lowered her head to look her son in the eyes. “I did not raise you to act like a brat! ” she whispered," If you are not willing to do this, then we’ll make you. Is that clear?”

His heart raced. His hands went numb. His whole body froze out of fear.

Before he could react, three people grabbed him, forcing him into a chair. Sirius tried to fight them off, but they were bigger, stronger and older than him. One held his shoulders, another bound his feet to the chair with a spell, and the third ripped the left sleeve of his robe. The inner part of his forearm was forced to face the ceiling.

Tears streamed down his face as he tried to fight back.

“Bella.” Orion grunted. “We are ready. Do it.”

Bellatrix stepped forward, her eyes gleaming. “Look how brave you are now, young Gryffindor. Maybe after this, we can forgive any of your wrongdoings.”

“Shut up!” Sirius yelled, struggling in vain to break free one last time .

The whole room erupted in laughter. Everyone was laughing at him. Everyone except for Regulus. He wasn’t looking at him. He couldn’t. His face was filled with disgust and fear.

“Crusio!” Bellatrix shrieked, a low, cruel chuckle escaped her lips.

A jet of green light shot from her wand. Sirius screamed, louder this time. His neck gave out; he couldn't lift his head. A Death-Eater yanked it up by the hair.

“You’ll want to see this.” he sneered.

Bellatrix took a deep breath, lifted her bent wand again, and pointed it at Sirius’ bare forearm. She muttered something sinister. A stream of dark red light spiraled out, radiating with power.

Pain.

That was what Sirius felt. Pure physical pain. He closed his eyes and screamed. A scream so loud that made everyone flinch. But the pain didn’t last. Within seconds, it stopped.

He gasped and opened his eyes. The Dark Mark wasn’t there. Blood poured freely from the wound, thick and hot, pooling beneath the chair.

“WHAT?!” Walburga shrieked.

Bellatrix grunted, clearly disappointed. “The Dark Lord warned me this might happen.” she muttered.

“Exlpain right this second Bellatrix!” Orion yelled, rage building up.

“The spell failed.” she said, her voice cool. “The Dark Lord’s magic may reject unwilling recipients. Simple as that.”

Relief washed over Sirius. Then came rage. 

He screamed once again. But this time, it wasn’t fear. A blast of energy surged from him with a shockwave that knocked everyone backwards. The grip on him vanished. No one was holding onto him now.

He jumped to his feet.

“I’m not staying in this hell a minute longer!” he shouted.

Sirius bolted. He raced up the stairs to his room before anyone would follow him. His heart was pounding. He shoved everything he could fit in his trunk; wand, robes, some pictures and some spare change he had laying around. He didn’t stop to think. He ran to the front door and found Walburga blocking his path, still dazed.

“Where do you think you are going? You still have the trace on you! You’ll end up in Azkaban for that little stunt!”

“Anywhere is better than here! Fuck you!” he yelled as he shoved open the door.

“You are dead to me! You are dead to this family! A disgrace!”

She hadn’t noticed Regulus behind her. He looked petrified. His eyes were filled with tears. He stared at Sirius wide-eyed, his fists clenched, jaw tight -  like he was holding together what little was left of being the ‘perfect son’.

Sirius' heart broke. For a second, he couldn’t move, unable to tear his gaze from his brother. His heart pounded in his chest, every instinct screaming at him to run. But how could he? How could he leave his brother there?

A small part of him wanted to believe that Regulus would come with him. That he would follow.

But he didn’t.

He couldn’t.

Sirius wiped the blood that dripped from his forearm, took a deep breath, stared at his brother one last time and slammed the door.

Then he ran.

He didn’t know where he was going. He just ran.

It was the middle of the night. He had nowhere to go.

Northwest London wasn’t completely unknown to him. He followed his instincts and in around twenty minutes he found himself on the King’s Cross Station.

He collapsed on the curb, sitting atop his trunk. The bleeding had stopped now. Sirius stared at his new wound. It was deep.The wound burned, but it felt... human. Not cursed. Still, his arm was the least of his worries.

He’d done it. He ran.

But now he was alone. He had nowhere to go. He was stranded.

Tears came again. Silent this time. Luckily, the roads were empty and no one was around to see.

Suddenly, with the corner of his eyes, he spotted a triple-decker, purple bus racing through the street. The bus suddenly stopped in front of him. From the front door, emerged the conductor, wearing a matching purple suit and hat.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witches or wizards. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Malcom Harris, and I will be your conductor this eve- Are you okay down there?"

“What the fuck?” Sirius muttered, whipping his face.

“You comin’ or not, boy?”

Sirius stood, picked up his trunk, and climbed aboard.

Inside there were no seats; instead, half a dozen brass bedsteads stood beside the curtained windows. Candles were burning in brackets beside each bed, illuminating the wood-paneled walls.

“Where you off to?” the conductor asked.

“Potters Estate.” he replied firmly.

“That’ll be eleven Sickles," Malcolm said, "but for fifteen you get a chocolate, a water bottle and a toothbrush in the color of your choice."

“Just the ride. Put it under my family name.”

“And what’s that, mate?”

Sirius’s eyes narrowed.

“Black.”

Chapter Text

Date: 16 July 1976

James

James couldn’t sleep. He felt like a complete failure after today. He’d let his best friend suffer. He felt useless.

*Ding… Dong…*

It was early in the morning - around two a.m. - when he heard the doorbell ring. He was helping Miffy, his house elf, tidy up the place after the failed party. He needed something to keep his mind busy. He was worried sick about Sirius.

He rushed to the door and looked through the peephole. And there he was. Sirius. Collapsed on the front steps. James instantly swung the door open.

Then he froze.

Sirius looked awful. Defeated. His formal robes were torn and stained with blood. James’ eyes widened.

“Mind if I crash here?” Sirius’ voice was hoarse, exhausted.

“O-of course, Pads.” James stammered.

He stepped forward and helped his friend inside, having to lift him up. He was weak. And he was hurting. 

“I’ll take your trunk up in my room.” James said, patting Sirius’ back. “Go take a shower. I’ve got everything covered. Swear.” 

Sirius just nodded, eyes clouded with pain and something close to relief.

When Sirius disappeared into the bathroom, James hurried to his parents’ room. It was late and they were sleeping. He quietly cracked open the door, letting only a sliver of the hallway light inside. He kneeled down beside his mother. 

“Mum.” he whispered, shaking her gently. “It’s Sirius. He’s here. And… it’s bad.”

Euphemia sat up instantly, fear flashing in her eyes. With a pat of her hand, she woke her husband too.

“I think he needs healing.” James said quietly, desperation in his voice. “Can you help me?” 

Together, the three of them went downstairs, waiting patiently for Sirius. After a few minutes, he emerged from the bathroom, wearing one of James’ oversized Quidditch shirts. His eyes betrayed his exhaustion, his pain, his defeat.

“Oh, Sirius.” Euphemia said softly, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Let me take care of that arm.”

They settled on the couch, with James and Fleamont standing beside them. Euphemia, an advanced healer, flicked her wand toward Sirius’ injury and inhaled sharply.

“That’s dark magic.” she said grimly.

No one was surprised, though. Everyone knew what had happened, even if they didn’t speak a word.

“You need rest.” she added gently. “Let’s all go to bed, and we’ll talk about it in the morning. Sounds good?” 

Sirius nodded.

James helped him upstairs again. 

Back in the familiar four walls of his bedroom, James guided Sirius to the bed and tucked him in. Thankfully, the bed was big enough for both of them. He slid in beside him.

“Thank you, James.” Sirius whispered, voice trembling, like he was holding back tears.

“Don’t even mention it, Sirius.” James murmured. “You are safe now.”

The summer breeze tapped softly against the window as the night dragged on. Neither of them could sleep.

Sirius laid down with his back turned to James, quietly crying.

James stared at the ceiling, heart heavy. He had never seen his best friend like this. So defeated. So broken.

“In the morning, everything will be better.” he told himself.

⛤⛤⛤

Before he knew it, James was fast asleep, drifting into a dream.

He found himself in his favourite place in the world; the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch. He wore his Gryffindor Chaser uniform, the number 07 proudly displayed on his jersey, and his gloves snug jus t above his hands. He glanced up at the scoreboard: Gryffindor 150-0 Slytherin. If he scored this next goal, the game would be over, no matter what happened with the seekers. That goal could win them the House Cup.

Quaffle in hand, he maneuvered through the opposing team like a professional player. He felt fast. And he was. A quick glance down revealed why: he was riding the new Comet 220. A wave of confidence surged through him. He soared high and swift. No one could catch him. He mentally calculated his next moves.

“The middle hoop is open. It’s the easiest shot from here.”

Just as he thought that the keeper shifted and was now guarding the middle hoop.

Bollocks.

James didn’t have time to hesitate. He dove down sharply, cri sp air slashing across his face. He aimed for the right hoop, channeling every ounce of strength into the throw-

“JAMES POTTER SCORED WITH A KNUCKLE BALL* ! TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR! 160-0” the commentator’s voice blasting through the speakers. “IF SLYTHERIN WANTS T O WIN, THEY NEED TO START SCORING NOW!”

The stadium erupted. Almost everyone was on their feet. Everyone except the Slytherin stands, who booed and looked disappointed.

James celebrated as well. His one hand holding his broom tightly and pumping his fist skyward with the other. His eyes found the Gryffindor stands. All of his friends jumped up and down for him. He felt proud. A wide smile spread across his face.

Suddenly, something caught the corner of his eye. Mulciber, gripping a Bludger, stared straight into James’s eyes. With a swift motion, Mulciber drew his wand and casted a spell no one could hear. 

The iron ball slipped from his hands and hurtled James. Everything happened in a blink of an eye. James tried to hold on to his broom and take off, but the Bludger was faster. It smashed into his shoulder - hard and fast. Pain exploded through him. He lost balance. He was falling.

Then he woke up with a gasp. Heart pounding, sweating and panting. But almost instantly, he knew it was all just a dream. His shoulder didn’t hurt anymore. Still, it felt so real.

Sirius was still sleeping peacefully beside him. A dim light slipped through the gap under the curtains.

James decided to start his day. It would be a hard one; but he was glad Sirius was out of that house. Glad to have him here. Safe.

He put on his glasses and climbed down the stairs, only to find his parents in the sitting room, whispering to each other, faces tight with concern. 

“G’morning” he announced, his voice sleepy.

Both of them jumped.

“Ah, James.” his mother said with a smile. “What are you doing up, sweetie?”

“Weird dreams.” he replied. “Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting anything?”

They exchanged a glance.

“Sit.” his father said.

James ruffled his hair as he sank into an armchair. His parents clasped hands.

“We are very worried about Sirius, James.” His father swallowed, pushing up his round glasses. “We can’t let him go back there. It is not right.”

“Yeah, I know, Dad.” James interrupted.

“We want him to stay here. Until he is old enough to take care of himself. Of course we wanted to run it through you first. Would it be okay?” 

“Dad are you kidding me?” a grin formed across James’ face. “Of course. I want nothing more than for Sirius to be safe and looked after.”

“I knew you’d love that!” Euphemia beamed. “We’ll give him the guest bedroom next to yours and we’ll remodel it however he wants.”

“Brilliant!” James exclaimed as he stood up from his chair. “Want some tea?”

James loved his parents. They were bloody good ones, too. Supportive of everything he did.

In the kitchen, he decided breakfast was in order. He remembered how much Sirius enjoyed the English breakfast, and James wanted to make enough for everyone.

The kitchen was maybe one of his favourite rooms in his house. It was warm and slightly cluttered, but lived-in and welcoming. The big wooden table in the middle of the room was decorated with some flowers, freshly picked from his mother’s garden. And the stove made him feel at home; though magic can heat food instantly, he seemed to like the feel of a real fire. Even if he was able to do magic outside of school, he’d prefer cooking the ‘muggle way’.

Some time later, he heard Sirius’ slow steps on the stairs.

“Miffy,” he told his elf, who helped him prepare the breakfast. “Would you mind finishing up here?”

“Of course, James.” she replied with a smile.

James rushed to the living room. Sirius’ morning hair was messy, and his eyes were crusty and puffy. He had a rough couple of days.

James gave him a soft smile. “Breakfast is almost ready. You must be starving.”

He didn’t want to push Sirius into talking about yesterday. They’d talk about it in their own time. Now, they had to pretend everything was normal.

Sirius nodded and headed to the kitchen, dragging his feet along the wooden floor.

“My parents are probably outside in the garden. Do you want to have breakfast all together or would you prefer to be just the two of us?”

“Whatever.” Sirius muttered, without lifting his head.

He wasn’t in the mood to talk. Having his parents there would only make things more awkward. James wanted to learn what happened last night. Hell, he wanted to go and punch Walburga and Orion; even Regulus. He was so angry that his best friend had to endure them for so many years. But he must put a happy face on, for the sake of his friend.

They sat at the table. Sunlight poured through the window along with the aroma of fresh-squeezed orange juice. Sirius devoured the food; he was starving.

“‘Ts’ good.” Sirius said, his mouth still full.

“Thanks. I made it. I remembered you liked English breakfast.”

“Leave the bullshit. You didn’t actually make this yourself.” a slight grin forming in his face. 

“I did! Go ahead and ask Miffy!” James laughed.

“As if your house elf wouldn’t cover for you!” he giggled.

Sirius was definitely in a better mood now. James noticed that his wound hadn’t completely healed; odd, given his mother’s skill. That was certainly dark magic. 

James exhaled. “Hey, Pads.” 

Sirius looked up from his plate. “Hmm?”

“I’m glad you’re here. But… Can I ask what happened yesterday?”

Sirius froze and stared at his plate, fork clinking against it as he set it down. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.” James said.

“No, I want to. But… It’s just…” he poked at his food, pausing for a bit. “The ritual couldn’t be performed on unwilling recipients, according to Bella.” He took a deep breath. “I had to get out of there, James. I-” his voice cracked. “I just had to.”

“I know. You did the right thing, Padfoot. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thanks.” he murmured, managing a small smile.

After breakfast, the boys decided to speak with James’ parents. Sirius owed them that.

The Potters’ backyard was a perfect stretch of grass, looking almost too perfect. Three children Quidditch training hoops stood tall on the far back corner. His parents bought them, along with his own Quaffle, on James’ 6th birthday. On the opposite corner stood Euphemia’s well-kept garden; flowers and vegetables peeking through the green leaves. Beneath an oak tree, four white chairs and a matching table waited for them in the shade.

Sirius and James took seats across from Fleamont and Euphemia.

“Hello, boys!” Euphemia greeted them warmly.

“Mr. and Mrs. Potter-” Sirius began.

“We are not strangers anymore, Sirius.” Fleamont interrupted. “Please call us Monty and Effie.”

Sirius blinked, caught off guard. “I-I’m sorry. Yes. I wanted to thank you. Y’know. For… taking me in. I swear I’ll be out of your feet-”

Effie laughed softly. “No need, Sirius. You don’t have to leave, if you don’t want to. We are more than happy to have you here.”

“Yes.” Monty agreed. “We talked about it earlier. We’d like you to stay at least until you have a stable job and can look after yourself. That is, if you’d want to.”

Sirius was at a loss of words. He didn’t know how to respond to that. “I… I think I'd really like that.”

James smiled. Having Sirius here with him - like a brother he never had - was a dream come true.

“If you don’t mind, I want to go inside.” Sirius said quietly.

“I’ll come with you.” James started.

“No, thank you. I think I just want to be alone for a bit.”

James forced a smile as Sirius headed inside. He still wasn’t okay. But running away from home was never easy. This was what Sirius needed. A fresh start.

⛤⛤⛤

19 July 1976

Sirius was not doing okay.

For the past two days, he’d shut himself away in the guest room Effie made for him, only coming down for food. James was worried. He didn’t know what to do. He’d tried everything; suggesting butterbeers, Exploding Snap, even Quidditch. But nothing worked.

James had written to Peter and Remus about the situation, without giving too many details. Peter replied almost instantly, worried and eager to visit, though admitting he wasn’t sure how much help he’d be.

Remus’ letter arrived that morning by his distinctive brown owl. This time it carried two envelopes; one addressed to James and one to Sirius. James left Sirius’ letter on his desk, before opening his own.

“Dear James,

I’m sorry about Sirius. I followed your advice and wrote to him on the fourteenth, but he didn’t reply. I suppose now I know why. Lily told me not to send him a letter in the first place.

I’d love to come and help cheer him up, but I don’t think it’s the best idea. You and Peter got it covered. I trust you.

I’d better keep my distance for now.

P.S. Please do not open the letter for Sirius.

Remus J. Lupin.”

“Ugh. Stubborn git.” James muttered.

But maybe Remus was right. He and Peter could handle this.

With all that’s been going on, James didn’t have the time to talk with Pete about it. His letter had been short and urgent: Sirius ran away from home and is staying with me. Come visit as soon as possible.

And he would. Today.

James had the whole day mapped out: Pete would arrive in the morning; they’ll burst into Sirius’ room and make him come outside. Then they would play some Quidditch (physical activity is of great importance, James noted in his head). Later, they’d have lunch and finally go out on Diagon Alley for drinks.

Okay, maybe the drinks were a bit of a longshot, but still. The main goal was to pry Sirius out of his room. By sunset, they’d have him laughing again. Failure wasn’t an option.

Of course, he hadn’t informed Sirius about any of this. A surprise with friends. That’s exactly what he needed. 

Right on time, Peter appeared on the doorstep with a bag full of Sirius’ favourite sweets; from chocolate frogs to Bertie Bott's Beans.

“Hey, Prongs!” Peter grinned. “I’ve brought food.”

James smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

“Thanks for coming, Wormy. Moony couldn’t make it so it will just be us. Ready?"

The two charged up the stairs and threw open Sirius’ door.

“SURPSISE!” they hollered.

Sirius was slouched on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He turned his head lazily towards them.

“What are you on about?” His voice was low and rough.

“We’re here to cheer you up, grumpy!” James said brightly “C’mon, let’s go!”

Sirius groaned, ran a hand through his hair, and sat up. “Doing what, exactly?”

“Quidditch.” Peter suggested.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. “Fine.”

They grabbed spare brooms from the shed and headed outside.

Sirius stared at the broom in his hand like it was a foreign object. Then, with a sigh, he swung a leg over it. 

At first, his flying was mechanical, almost joyless. But the rhythm of the air, the silly jokes Peter and James made, started forming hesitant smiles on his face.

James’ chest tightened. His plan was working.

They threw Quaffles around the hoops, raced to the nearby treetops and practiced their dives. Sirius cracked an actual smile the first time Peter dropped the Quaffle, then laughed for the first time in days, when James nearly collided with a hoop. He started to have fun, little by little.

“Pads,” James shouted from across the pitch. “You should try out for the team this year. You’re a natural beater. Now that Longbottom’s gone, the team needs new members.”

“In your dreams, Potter!” Sirius shot back, a slight grin forming in his face. “I’m not nearly as good as any of you!”

“No, no,” Peter added. “Prongs is right, though. With you on the team, the cup will surely be ours!”

Sirius smirked. “Alright, alright. Enough nagging. I’ll think about it. But one thing is for sure. Wormy is not cut out for Quidditch.”

They laughed until their sides hurt. Friendly mockery is always fun, James thought.

By the time James’ mum called them in for lunch, Sirius’ hair was wind-tossed and his eyes were brighter than they’d been in days.

They all hurried to the kitchen, following the smell of freshly baked bread. Chips were sizzling in the background as Miffy was cooking.

They devoured their food in no time and retreated to James’ room, where Peter emptied a box of Bertie Bott’s Beans onto the desk.

“Who’s brave enough to start?” James grinned.

Peter, with his one hand still holding the box, grabbed a brown bean. He put it in his mouth. Chewed once. Then twice.

“Phew. Chocolate.” He laughed.

“Catch!” He tossed a white bean to Sirius, aiming for his mouth.

With a quick move, he opened his mouth, jumped up and caught it midair. Sirius bit into it just once and gagged. His face was filled with disgust!

“BLEGH! SOAP. WATER. NOW!”

They howled with laughter and kept playing until they were queasy, the afternoon sunlight spilling across the floor.

Chapter Text

Date: 21 July 1976

Remus

Summer in Wales had always been boring for Remus. Without his friends’ letters, there was little to look forward to. And Merlin, he missed them. A lot.

About a week ago, he’d sent Sirius a letter. Nothing elaborate. But it was something. Every day since then, he waited patiently for an owl to swoop into his room with a reply. Even though the anger lingered, he still wanted Sirius to write back. But he hadn’t.

James’ letter had explained enough.

Sirius had run away from home… 

Of course, Remus thought, his first priority wouldn’t be answering letters.  His whole life had just turned upside down; it was natural. Yet, Remus couldn’t help feeling left out.

But it was his own fault, really. He was the one still holding a grudge. Τhe one who pushed his friends away. Τhe one who had barely replied to all of the letters they had sent…

But he desperately needed some time off. Some time with his family. Away from all the magic bullshit.

But, he couldn’t escape his true nature. The moon still waxed and waned above him. Like a clock. Always on time. Always creeping in on him.

Full moons with James and Sirius had been something he truly missed. He wanted to wake up after the full moon and not be covered in marks and wounds. And to see his best friends waiting for him… Taking care of him. 

He missed that more than anything. He missed the chaos, the inside jokes, the way they made even the darkest days bearable.

At least Lily had been an unexpected bright spot in his summer. She had been so kind to him, so understanding. Hell, she’d even come to visit. 

That weekend with her, he’d felt more at ease than he had in a while. He had shown her around his town, pointing out all the places from his childhood. He was really glad for this friendship. She understood him, not because they had similar experiences, but because she truly listened. When he talked, she had her eyes fixed on him with genuine interest. They spoke for hours, and he found himself understanding her in return.

Remus really liked Lily. Even knowing what he was, she had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn’t see it in themselves. Oh, and she was curious. Curious about him, about his condition, about his life. Everything. It felt like they’d known each other for years, when it’s just been a couple of months.

But even with Lily, he still felt like he was missing something… Or rather some… one.

That’s why he had decided to write to Sirius again. He wanted to mend things, piece by piece. But his mind was telling him otherwise. It constantly dragged him back to that wretched night.

The night his worst fear had nearly come true. The night he had almost killed someone. 

Remus tried to shove those thoughts in the deepest corner of his mind. 

“It has been months.” He told himself. He had to be braver than that. He couldn’t let fear consume him. “ It won’t happen again.” whispered the rational part of his mind.

Most days, it felt like just another dull summer. But some - like today - left him feeling utterly alone. Alone in the frightening world, cut off from his friends.

By early afternoon, with the heat pressing in from outside, he finally worked up the will to get out of bed.

His bedroom was his own little sanctuary. It was small and cluttered. Most were covered in half-read books, half-written parchments, with quills and pens scattered among semi-dirty clothes. It was a mess. But it was his mess. Everything was where it was supposed to be; every detail had its place.

The only part of his room that was tidy and clean was his desk. In the top right corner sat his most prized possession; his first photo of him and his friends. The first proof he truly belonged somewhere.

He stared at the frame for a second too long. He missed them. All of them. But especially Sirius. He missed his mischief, his audacity, his cockiness. And those striking grey eyes… 

Remus couldn’t help but smile. Smile because if he didn’t, then he’d cry.

⛤⛤⛤

Remus spent the day browsing through his father’s small library. He wanted to find something new to read; something mind numbing. Instead, his eyes kept drifting to a specific section of the bookcase: Lycanthropy.

When Remus was bitten, Lyall threw himself into studying the condition extensively. He wanted to help his son, though his efforts were ultimately unsuccessful. He had bought every book, every newspaper article and every scrap of writing related to werewolves. But no one had discovered a cure or even a way to ease the symptoms. By the time Remus started at Hogwarts, his father seemed to have lost hope. Or, at least, he stopped showing Remus that he was still looking.

As for Remus, he had resented his condition so deeply that he didn’t want to learn more. Not until now. 

He pulled a massive, black leather book from the shelf titled: ‘Lycanthropy: Everything you need to know.’

Remus blew the years old dust from the pages and opened it to a random page in the middle. The chapter detailed precautions for staying “safe” around a werewolf.

‘...multiple werewolves are known to kill their best friends or loved ones while in wolf form if they are given the chance. If a werewolf hears the call of another of its kind, it will respond. It will seek out the other werewolf. That is why it is most important to recognize one before it recognizes you…’

Remus exhaled sharply and slammed the book shut, the echo ringing in the empty room. His hands trembled and cold sweat dripped from his forehead. His chest felt too tight, as though the words themselves had bitten him. He couldn’t bear to read any further. Not when every word made him fear his own self.

He took a deep breath and patted the nape of his neck, right where the larger and more prominent scar was.

“I can’t let this define me. I won’t.” he thought.

Though, he hadn't noticed that his mother was right behind him, leaning against the doorway.

Hope Lupin was a beautiful Muggle woman, endlessly fascinated by the world she had married into. She was forever curious. Though still young in age, small wrinkles and smile lines softened her face. She had a smile Remus couldn’t resist. He wanted his mum to have a normal son; not a freak. But she marveled at everything, like a young child discovering a new toy. Never once did she look at him with disgust or fear.

“Hello, Remus.” she said gently.

Remus jumped, lowering his hand from his neck.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you.” she smiled. “You’ve been wondering about it, haven’t you?”

Remus frowned, struggling to form words.

“It’s alright.” she went on. “I thought you might be. Do you have any questions?”

He grimaced. “Nο... I think I know what I need.”

“Alright, my love.” she said, turning to leave.

“Just…” he hesitated. “Can you tell me how I was bitten?”

Hope froze. She hadn’t expected that. Her smile faded. “It’s… not pleasant.” she said quietly.

“I think I want to know. It might help.”

They sat together on the couch. Remus stared at the floor, finger digging into the fabric. Hope met his eyes as she leaned slightly forward, studying his face for the smaller sign of fear.

“It was the summer of 1964.” She began softly. “Your father took you camping, while I was in London, taking my typing exams. Lyall wanted to study magical creatures, and he thought it was the perfect opportunity for you to see the magic world.” She paused. “His world. He took you to the Highlands, where he had seen lots of magnificent beasts there before. The Highlands were beautiful. Wind whistling through the pines, mist curling over the hills. But that night, it wasn’t safe. The place he chose was a newly discovered werewolf camp, later destroyed by the Ministry. And as you can probably guess, it was a full moon. It all happened when your father was asleep. When he woke, he found you trembling, your clothes torn and streaked with blood. Bite marks dotted your arms and shoulders, raw and angry.” 

Remus felt rigid.

“We were lucky they didn’t… kill you, Remus.” she whispered, placing her hand on his knee. “Lyall never forgave himself for that night. He apparated straight to St. Mungo’s. There, they treated your wounds and explained what happened. They also warned that once you turn eleven, we’d have to register you with the Ministry. But we didn’t want that. We knew the prejudice and discrimination you’d face. We wanted to spare you from it as long as we could. We didn’t want you to suffer.”

Remus remained still. But hearing the truth brought him a strange sense of peace. He didn’t blame his father. Not anymore. Yes, Lyall had been careless and irresponsible, but if anyone was to blame, it was the pack of werewolves that attacked him.

“I know it’s a lot.” she said gently. “Your father doesn’t like to talk about it.”

Remus looked up. “Thanks for telling me.” he muttered.

They both stood up. Hope wrapped her arms around him. Remus was much taller than her, but he hugged her back, resting his head on top of hers as she stroked his back. 

When she pulled away, her eyes softened. “Ah, I nearly forgot. You have letters.”

Remus blinked.

“I left them on the table.” she added.

He hurried over, heart racing. He had expected Lily to write him back. But another envelope waited as well. Sirius’ cursive handwriting loomed across the front of the paper. His hands trembled and his heart skipped a beat as he tore open the seal.

“Dear Remus,

I’ve been better. Thanks for checking in. Staying with James for the time being. 

See you at Hogwarts next month.

Take care,

Sirius.”

Remus’ stomach dropped. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Twenty words? Was that all they’d be from now on? Just a few words every now and then?

He had poured himself into his letter, apologizing, offering comfort, hoping to patch things up. He had thought maybe - just maybe - it would be enough.

But it wasn’t that simple.

Remus ran a hand through his hair, with the other still holding the opened letter. He exhaled and crumbled the stupid piece of paper.

He felt angry. Not at Sirius, but himself. For shutting him out. For not letting him explain. For breaking something, he might never fix.

It felt too late. But was it?

No. He refused to believe it was. Sirius had written him back. That meant something. They could keep exchanging these broken scraps of conversations, and perhaps in time mend what had been broken. It was better than no contact. Once in Hogwarts, everything will be back in place. He hadn’t lost hope. He’d fight for this friendship with everything he had.

Lily’s letter, on the other hand, was way more spirited.

“Dear Remus,

The new job is cool! The movie theater is the place to be this summer. I know all the gossip and all the dirt on most of the town!

Listen to this: Mackenzie M. was hooking up with Mathew since year 9 (third year in Hogwarts years) and now she went on a date with George R.

I know gossiping about my small town is boring for you… BUT!!!

I actually made muggle friends here. There are these two coworkers, Kate and Martin, that are really nice. Of course, I told them that I’m going to a boarding school in Scotland and I won't see them during the year, but still.

Also… I may have a teeny tiny bit of a crush for Martin. He is a year older than me but… ughhh. I don’t know! I really like him. And I think he likes me too.

Mary was ecstatic when I told her!

Give me boy advice. What do boys like? How do I make him notice me???

But enough about me.

I still think writing to Sirius was a bad idea. The timing isn’t right. But two letters? You’ve gotta be mental. Did he at least write you back?

But in all seriousness (pun intended), don’t take it personally if he doesn’t respond or if he replies coldly. It can’t be easy, running away. I’m sure you’ll make up in no time. Don’t sweat it.

Yours truly,

Lily.”

Remus liked how chaotic Lily’s letters always were. They never failed to lift his spirits. But Lily was right. Sirius wasn’t in the best state of mind.

Once again, even across the miles, Lily had made his day brighter.

Chapter Text

Date: 6 August 1976

Lily

Lily’s new job at the movie theatre was going surprisingly well. She had made new friends, saved up some money and actually enjoyed the work. Her responsibilities were light; mostly selling tickets and scooping popcorn. It was simple, but she liked it. What she liked even more, though, was the boy working beside her, Martin. 

Martin was tall (much taller than her), with short, perpetually messy black hair and striking green eyes that matched her own. He was athletic, too - muscles, always visible from beneath his fitted staff shirt, made her stomach flip every time. He played football for his school team and was already talking about college scholarships. Lily didn’t fully understand the whole Muggle University thing, but she was catching on. Hogwarts didn’t have ‘scholarships’ or ‘applications’ or anything like that. You graduated, got a job, and that was that.

Not that she’d been thinking much about Hogwarts lately. Or magic, really. Around her Muggle friends, she wanted to seem as normal as possible. Just another average and ordinary teenager.

She’d especially grown close to Kate, another co-worker. Kate was gorgeous, with long golden curls and bright blue eyes, the kind of confidence Lily secretly envied. Every boy seemed to fancy her, but Kate brushed them all off, declaring herself as a ‘free spirit’.

Lily loved having her as a friend. Kate was loud, confident, and always full of energy. She was curious, too; constantly pressing Lily for ‘boarding school stories’. Lily had to invent them, of course - no one could know she was a witch; they would not take her seriously or even worse, mock her. And she didn’t need that.

Fridays at the cinema were always the busiest, so Lily arrived early to get a head start. She tugged on her uniform and headed into town. The August evening air was heavy and warm, and the streets were nearly empty except for a few kids chasing each other in the road.

She was on opening duty with Kate today. She tugged her uniform into place and dug through her bag for the theatre keys.

Nothing.

“Shit.” she muttered. “Brilliant. Must’ve left them at home.”

With no other choice, she dropped onto the curb in front of the theatre and waited for her friend. Half an hour later, Kate finally turned up. Lily must have been looking terrible and half-melted from sitting in the heat.

“What on earth are you doing down there, Evans?” Kate giggled.

“Forgot my keys.” Lily admitted with a sheepish grin.

Kate rolled her eyes and tossed her a spare set. Lily caught them mid-air, grateful. Soon enough they had the place open, popcorn machines humming, and their usual chatter in full swing.

“So…” Kate said, hopping onto the counter. “When are you going to ask Martin out?”

Lily’s eyes widened and nearly dropped the stack of cups in her hands. “What?!”

Kate smirked, kicking her feet idly. “Don’t play dumb. I’ve seen how you look at him. You fancy him.”

“I do not!” Lily felt her cheeks flame. “And get down from the counter, people eat off that!”

Kate ignored her. “Don’t lie to me, Evans!”

“Okay, fine. And even if I do fancy him, I'm sure he doesn’t fancy me back!” Lily exclaimed. 

Kate rolled her eyes again. “You must be mad! Have you seen how he looks at you?”

It was true. Lily had noticed him staring more often than boys usually did. She’d also noticed that he made any excuse to work beside her: offering to cover Kate’s shifts, swapping places with other co-workers...

“‘Kay. As if! I can’t ask him.” she mumbled. “I’d die of embarrassment.”

“Nah, you’re just a scaredy-cat.” Kate shot back playfully.

Despite herself, Lily smiled, fiddling with her collar. “...Fine. I’ll ask him. Today. What time does he get here?”

Kate let out a triumphant squeal. “That’s my girl! Half an hour. That means we have enough time to figure out what you're gonna wear.” She ruffled Lily’s hair affectionately.

Lily’s eyes widened “He hasn’t even agreed yet!”

“Oh, c’mon! Let’s just say… I know he is already interested. So? Can I come over and help you get ready?” Kate leaned forward, practically bouncing.

“Sure...” she started, then narrowed her eyes. “Wait a second, how do you already know that?”

Kate only grinned. “I have my ways. Don’t question it.”

They finished setting up the cinema, chatting as they worked. Right on schedule - just as Kate predicted - Martin’s car pulled into the parking lot.

Lily spotted him first. His hair was as messy as ever, his clothes a little rumpled but in the kind of way that made her stomach flip. She must have been staring too long, because as Martin locked his car, he looked her way, waved and smiled. Merlin, that smile…

Lily panicked but waved back with a shy smile.

“He’s here.” she announced.

“Perfect. I’m off to the back for some extra cups.” Kate winked. “Make sure you ask him before I come back.”

Lily rolled her eyes, shooing her away playfully. But Kate was right; she had to ask him out. She really liked him. The worst thing he could say was no.

…Right?

Before Martin opened the door, Lily glanced at her reflection on the popcorn machine’s glass and hand-brushed her hair. The moment he walked in, the room seemed to brighten. She tried to look busy, fiddling with soda cups behind the counter.

“Hey, Lils.” Martin greeted.

Her heart skipped a beat. He had called her ‘Lils’ .  Only Severus had ever called her that. She pushed the thought away. She couldn’t think of him now.

“Hi, Martin!” she managed to say, praying she didn’t sound nervous.

“Need a hand with those cups?” he said, stepping closer.

“No, no. I’ve got it handled.”

He moved behind the counter beside her. They locked eyes just for a moment.

Or was it more than a moment…?

Lily immediately looked away awkwardly and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I wanted to…” they both began.

“You first.” Lily blurted.

Martin didn’t look at her. Lily hopped onto the counter, just like Kate did before - she had looked so careless.

“I was thinking…” Martin hesitated. “Would you like to go out to dinner with me?”

For a moment, Lily could only stare at him. Her chest felt light, giddy. Someone had asked her out. And it was Martin.

Martin lifted his head and looked her in the eyes.

God… those green eyes. 

“Yes!” she squealed. 

“Seriously?” his face lit up.

“Yes.” she said again, smiling. “I was going to ask you the same thing, y’know.”

“Oh for reals? How ‘bout tomorrow afternoon?” He followed up.

“I’d really like that.”

Lily was glowing. She had a date. Her very first date. And she couldn’t have imagined it any better.

⛤⛤⛤

7 August 1976

Lily was nervous. Very nervous. She’d never been on a proper date before. Sure, she’d fancied other boys at Hogwarts, but no one had ever asked her out - not even for a simple trip to Hogsmeade. Now, faced with the peril of an actual evening out, she felt helpless. What to do with her hair? Her clothes? What would they even talk about? Luckily, Kate was coming soon. Her style and advice were immaculate.

Still, what worried Lily most wasn’t the dress or the makeup. It was lying to Martin about Hogwarts. She didn’t want him to know about magic, but hiding the truth felt heavy.

Lily hopped out of the shower and grabbed her blow dryer from the cupboard. Her hair had grown longer than ever that summer, brushing the middle of her back. She had learned to appreciate her natural curls; they made her feel pretty. The mirror, however, seemed determined to highlight every flaw; the freckles, the uneven features, the tiny blemishes. But in spite of it all, she did feel pretty.

The sound of the front door opening snapped her out of her thoughts. Kate’s loud but warm voice echoed through the halls. After hearing her voice, panic surged through her. Her whole room was filled with Hogwarts stuff. Lily didn’t have time to cover anything up; moving pictures and all her spellbooks were scattered across the room.

Fuck…

Kate entered without knocking, finding Lily still in her bathrobe and clearly flustered.

“Hey girl! You ready for today?” Kate said.

Lily’s efforts were unsuccessful. Kate would notice the odd things any minute now. “Hi…” she said awkwardly, trying to block Kate’s view.

“Is something wrong? You look pale as a ghost. And yes… I know you are like, really pale. Watch up?” she noted.

“I-I’m just nervous about today.” Lily lied.

Kate immediately flung open her closet and started to browse through her clothes. 

Merlin’s beard. Her robes!

 But Kate was moving fast; almost too fast to notice anything weird. After a minute or so she gasped.

That’s it. Here come the questions. Lily thought.

But Kate didn’t even look at her robes. Instead, she pulled out a pink floral dress Lily’s mother had gifted her last year.

“C’mon, Lily! That’s the perfect dress for today! I have to admit; you have a great taste in clothes.” Kate declared.

Lily let out a small nervous chuckle.

“Go try this on. In the meantime, I’ll need your make-up bag.”

Lily never used make-up, though.

“I… don’t have one.” she replied.

 Kate sighed dramatically. “What would you do without me, Evans…” she smiled. “Lucky for you, I brought mine. We are making you shine today! Now go!”

Lily went to the bathroom to put her dress on. She looked at herself in the mirror once more. It was a very nice dress. And she looked very pretty, even without make-up.

But when she returned, she froze. Kate stood wide-eyed, staring at one of her moving photos.

“Kate!” she yelped. “I can explain- ”

She looked at Kate. Her face was not filled with disgust or fear. She was amazed about what she was looking at.

“Tell me…” Kate whispered. “Am I dreaming?”

Lily just shook her head negatively.

“Pinch me.” she added.

Lily obliged.

“So…?” she asked slowly, as her gaze shifted from the photo to her.

Lily looked her in the eyes and sat her down. “I’ll explain… only if you promise not to tell anyone. I mean it.”

Kate nodded and Lily started explaining almost everything; her secret, how she’d discovered she was a witch, why she’d been lying all this time. Kate didn’t interrupt her once. She listened, nodded and held her eyes locked in hers almost all the time - her gaze only flicking between Lily and the magical things in her room.

When Lily finished, Kate just exhaled shakily and pulled her into a hug.

“I can’t believe this. I feel like you’re joking. This can’t be real.”

“I didn’t believe it either.” Lily said softly, smiled as she broke the hug. Her face tensed. “You must not tell a soul. I’m serious.”

“Yeah. I promise. Your secret is safe with me.” she paused for a moment. “Shit, look at the time.”

Quarter to seven.

They both stood up and tried to do Lily’s make-up as fast as possible. Kate decided she just needed light eyeliner, a mauve lip-gloss and some pink eyeshadow to match her dress.

She looked genuinely beautiful. Her light waves falling perfectly on her shoulders, her dress complimenting her figure exactly at the right places, and the make-up suited her just right; not too much but not too little at the same time. She couldn’t help but smile.

“You look beautiful, Lily.” Kate said proudly.

“Thank you. For real. I couldn’t have done this without you.” Lily smiled and hugged her tightly.

The doorbell rang. Seven o’clock, right on time.

“You ready?” Kate asked.

Lily nodded and they climbed down the stairs together.

Mrs. Evans was already at the door and greeted Martin. He stood awkwardly on the front step, wearing a nice black shirt with trousers. His hair ruffled just enough to look effortless. He looked gorgeous. As he chatted politely with Mrs. Evans, his eyes drifted to Lily and lit up.

“You look really nice, Lils.” he admitted.

“Thank you.” she replied, smiling. “You too.”

They greeted her mum and Kate, then slipped into his car. He drove an old grey Ford; it looked second hand, but it was well taken care of.

“So,” Martin began as he started the engine. “I know this great little place. Affordable but cool. Thought we could check it out.”

“I’m cool with whatever. You know the area better than me, anyways.” Lily giggled.

The drive to the restaurant was pleasant. Martin was kind and easy to talk to, and Lily found herself relaxing more than she had in weeks. They talked about school, gossiped about the movie theater, and laughed at silly things along the way.

A quarter later, they reached a nice diner; a bit retro, Martin commented. The place was unlike anything she had seen in either Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade. It was a brick building with chunky wooden doors, smoked-glass windows, and bold neon signage in red declaring ‘STEAK HOUSE’ . Of course, she had been to a steak place before with her parents, but this looked bourgeois and expensive.

“I thought you said this place is affordable.” Lily said, stepping out of the car.

“It is.” Martin smiled. “They had the place renovated a year ago, but kept the same prices. My big brother works here as a cook.”

A sigh of relief washed over her. Her family wasn’t exactly poor, but they weren’t swimming in money, either.

They walked in together and Lily was even more amazed by the interior. It was dimly lit with dark wood floors, dark red leather booths, and a smoky, cozy atmosphere with an “Olde English” pub feel. 

They sat at the table, across from each other and began chatting. Lily didn’t really feel like she was on a date; it felt so natural to talk to him. As if they’d known each other for years.

“So, tell me, Lily Evans.” Martin began, leaning forward slightly. “When you’re not at work, how do you spend your summer?”

“I write letters to my friends and mostly study for school. It’s really interesting…” She hesitated, not wanting him to know how much of her summer was consumed by relentless studying to keep up with pure-blood classmates.

“School?!” Martin chuckled. Not in a mocking kind of way, but in a caring one.

“Yes. I really enjoy learning about stuff.” she smiled.

“If you are so academically inclined, why not go to university? I remember you told me that you were going to get a job right after graduation.”

Merlin, he remembered every tiny detail she’d told him. 

“Ugh, I don’t know. I’m still sixteen though. I have time to think about it later. What about you?”

“This time next year, I’m off to Brighton to study economics. It’s a really growing industry.”

The date continued like that for about two hours; light chatting, plans about the future and laughter. The food was excellent and truly affordable, just as Martin promised. He refused to let her pay, of course, and Lily thought him a perfect gentleman.

They drove back to her place in giggles, music blasting from the car. Lily sang her heart out to ‘Don't Go Breaking My Heart’ by Elton John that was playing on the radio. Martin’s gaze flickered between the road and her. She felt, briefly, like a queen.

On the front step of her house, they paused.

“Can we go out again?” he asked, holding her hand.

“I’d really like that. I had a really good time tonight. Thank you.” she replied with a smile

“Me too.”

“Goodnight, Martin.”

She turned toward the door, but Martin’s hand still held hers. A tug, gentle but insistent, and suddenly she was in his arms. His kiss was careful, almost shy, and Lily surprised herself by kissing him back, her hands finding his shoulders with ease.

“Goodnight, Lils.” he whispered at last.

As she slipped inside, Lily pressed a hand to her lips and smiled. Upstairs, the house was quiet. But in her chest, her heart beat far too loud; fast, dizzy, and utterly alive. Tonight had been just a date, yes; but maybe it had been something more, too. Something fragile and thrilling, waiting to grow.

Chapter Text

Date: 18 August 1976

James

James had become the main line of communication between the Black brothers.

A week after Sirius left, James started writing letters to Regulus about his brother. It just felt like the right thing to do. If their roles were reversed, he’d be desperate to know that his sibling was safe. Of course, Regulus didn’t always reply; sometimes there was nothing but silence. But James took comfort in the thought that at least his letters were being read - even if they were immediately tossed aside. When Regulus did answer, his replies were short and sharp. But still, James was determined to force him out of his shell.

Sometimes, though, doubt gnawed at him. What if he was making things worse? What if Walburga received the letters first, and Regulus was being punished for his wrongdoing? 

After weeks had passed, life with Sirius was starting to get better. He was getting better. At first, Sirius didn’t want to talk about his reality; he wanted to play hookey, joke and waste time; and James was more than happy to let him. Week after week, Sirius started to open up; at first he’d sneak into James’ room at night, woken up from nightmares, until gradually, the two of them spoke about everything. Even the things that hurt.

James was glad about that, but still a little something inside him, wanted Sirius to have that same connection with Regulus, as if his brother had never been left behind.

From what Sirius shared, things at home were never okay. Constant yelling, cursing and hexes. Sirius confided in him that being here made him feel safe; as if he finally belonged to a family who actually cared about him. Once, he even told James that he felt like a brother to him. Naturally, James felt the same, though he couldn’t shake the uneasy thought that in Sirius’ mind, he was replacing Regulus.

In two weeks, things would be simpler. Hogwarts was a safe place for everyone; including Sirius and Regulus. Although, the thought of being a sixth-year student was stressing James out. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. He’d aced almost everything on the O.W.L.s and that gave him endless possibilities for his future. He could be an Auror, like Frank, or he could get into professional Quidditch. Maybe even some dull Ministry post. But James Potter was not built for a quiet life. He wanted to act, to help, to fight.

All these thoughts were pointless, though. War was coming, inch by inch. More and more attacks were happening, along with multiple murders and disappearances. Monty always read the paper every morning and would pass on the grim news. Often, they’d spend hours every day discussing it as a family. James was grateful for his father’s steady presence, especially when he worked to undo the poison Sirius had grown up with. Not that Sirius was easily fooled; he already knew his parents had been cruel excuses for role models.

James would sometimes catch Sirius in long talks with Monty; asking questions about all kinds of things. Effie, with Miffie’s help, taught him how to cook. He’d really become somewhat comfortable with his parents. James was really glad for the way they’d all welcomed him. Mainly that was the reason he was doing so much better. He was starting to heal, gradually.

James spent much of his time in Sirius’ room; either talking or just hanging around. Effie had given Sirius full rein to make the space his own. At first, he had let it bare, with no decoration at all. Maybe because a small part of his mind refused to believe he was there to stay. But with a bit of convincing and a lot of nagging, Sirius started to fill his bookcases with both wizarding and muggle books. His parents didn’t allow muggle literature in their house, but Sirius was fascinated with everything remotely related to muggles. After that, he filled his room with Gryffindor banners (which James lent him, happily). The crown jewel of the room, though, was the collection of brilliant posters Sirius found one day on a trip to London. He had pictures of Muggle motorcycles and bikini-clad muggle girls. It made his room look absolutely ridiculous, but very on character. James couldn’t stop laughing whenever he walked in. And then, there was the photo of the four Marauders, the one they all carried. Sirius had placed it in a battered old frame and hung it above his bed, as if he wanted it to be the last thing he saw before he slept.

School was starting soon, though. Effie had insisted on going shopping early.

“It’ll be much easier if we go now. Diagon Alley will be empty.” she nagged them.

There wasn’t much on their lists, as sixth-years. James had already decided to stick to core subjects and skip electives, leaving time for Quidditch and mischief. Sirius, however, wanted to take Arithmancy and Muggle Studies. When James teased him, Sirius only smirked and said he wanted ‘options’ for after graduation.

That morning, Effie took the boys to Diagon Alley. She was well prepared and had their school lists in hand, with extras she thought they might need during the year. The shopping district was almost empty; students tended to do their shopping last minute. For once more, James’ mum was right.

Their first stop was Flourish and Blotts.

“I’m going to be browsing hats in Madam Malkin’s. Take your time and meet me back there for your robes.” Effie said with a smile.

 The bookshop was just as James remembered it; filled to the brim, shelves upon shelves lined the walls, from ceiling to floor. It had that familiar and almost nostalgic scent to it.

“Okay,” James started reading off the list. “We need Advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts, Advanced Potion-Making by Libatius Borage, the Book of Advanced Transfiguration by Emeric Switch, the Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6 by Miranda Goshawk and Flesh-Eating Trees of the World.”

James scattered through the shop trying to look for every book. He noticed, though, that Sirius was not following him; he lingered by a shelf, staring at the floor. James approached him.

“What’s up with you? Come, let’s find our stuff.” James joked.

Sirius just stared at the floor.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Sirius lifted his head, and tried to speak. He closed his mouth and his eyes drifted around.

James instantly understood him. “Is this about money? Pads, you’re one of us now. You don’t need to worry about it. We’ve got you.” he smiled

Sirius’ eyes flickered with relief.

“Thanks.” he murmured, still staring at the floor.

“You’re a thick lad, you know that, right?” James grinned.

“Oh, piss off.” Sirius shoved his arm, smirking. “I’m gonna pay you and your parents back. Every Galleon.”

James just rolled his eyes. “Come on. Let’s find our books and get outta here. Mum’s waiting.”

With all their books in hand, they met up with Effie in Madam Malkin’s, for their robes. Both of them had grown a lot since last year and needed new ones. Madam Malkin was a plump old lady, with a weird sense of style; she was wearing a matching purple hat and robes and big golden hoops. The short lady greeted them warmly. She seemed to remember every student that had bought from her - just like Ollivander.

“Ah, Missus Potter and young James!” she paused for a moment. “And… the eldest Black.” she said in her strong French accent.

“Yes. The boys grew a lot this past year. We need two sets of Gryffindor robes. Summer and winter, please.” Effie told her.

The woman took one look at the both of them. “No need to measure you. I’ll be right back.”

She was very good at her job, because when they tried them on, they fit like a glove; and even ‘had room for growing’ as she told them.

Robes, check. 

Next on their list were the stationery. They would be needing the usual: Rolls of parchment, quills, ink bottles and sealing wax.

“We have almost everything at home. I think we should skip the stationery.” Effie reminded them.

The boys agreed and headed to their last stop: Potage’s Cauldron Shop. They were walking behind Effie, as she was guiding them to the store.

“So, are you excited for sixth year?” James asked Sirius.

But Sirius didn’t reply. He froze, his face drained of color, hands clenched at his sides. His eyes were fixed on the window of the shop. James tried to find what he was looking at; he moved his head left and right, but couldn’t quite find out. 

Effie quickly caught on and mumbled under her breath. “Walburga.”

As soon as she said that, James noticed her, alongside Regulus. They were doing their school shopping too.

“We don’t have to shop for cauldrons now. I’ll come back another day and…” James blurted.

Effie stroked Sirius’ arm. 

“I don’t…” Sirius tried to say, but the words broke.

Both James and his mum understood. He didn’t want to see them, talk to them, or even look at their direction even longer. They turned at once, heading back toward the Leaky Cauldron.

As they left, James glanced back, trying to look at Regulus. Regulus noticed them, his eyes meeting James’. For a moment, James thought he saw something there. But then, Regulus turned his gaze at whatever his mother was saying.

James just smiled, waiting for him to smile back. Or to wave. Or something. He wanted a reaction. He wanted to see if he cared about Sirius. He needed to fix their relationship. Instead, Regulus turned his head down and nodded at something his mother said.

Classic Regulus.

James could only hope a letter would come.

“You okay, Pads?” he asked quietly, with his head still turned back.

Sirius just nodded.

⛤⛤⛤

That brief encounter with his brother and mother had shaken Sirius badly. As soon as they returned home, he locked himself in his bedroom, slipping back into that withdrawn state he’d been in during his first week there. James felt the weight of it too. He couldn’t bear seeing his best friend like that. All the progress they had made seemed to vanish in a single tiny moment. He was angry; not at Sirius, but at Walburga. 

Staring at the ceiling of his room, James’ thoughts spiraled. Regulus needed to get out of that house too. Somehow, James felt like he could save them both.

But in two weeks, they would be back at Hogwarts, stepping through the barrier at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. ‘Things would settle on their own’, he told himself.

No.

That was not good enough for him. Not for Sirius. Not for Regulus either.

He would find a way to make amends. He’d turn the world upside down for Sirius. And he would do the same thing for him.

So it was time to act.

He grabbed a fresh piece of parchment and his favourite quill.

“Regulus,

I know you saw us today on Diagon Alley. Sirius is very upset. Not because of you, of course.

I think being away from home has done him good. I want to make myself clear and say I don’t blame you for anything.

You know what bothers me, though?

Why.

Why do you keep staying there? When I gave you your chance to escape, you didn’t take it. Sirius has told me what life is like for you at home. So, why?

Why do you keep enduring it?

My offer still stands. Say the word and we’ll come for you. I promise you, we’ll keep you safe.

If you can, tell your mother I said hello. I’m sure she’d love to hear from me.

And please, for the love of Merlin, do me a favor and respond this time. Not hearing back from you drives me mad, and honestly, I’m worried about you.

Stay safe,

James.”

James sealed the letter and exhaled slowly. Okay, maybe the letter was a bit… emotional. But every word he wrote was true. The problem was Walburga. He couldn’t risk her reading it. A kind of big issue since James wasn’t allowed to do magic outside of school yet. 

And even if he were, he didn’t know any spell that could properly conceal the letter’s contents. So he did the only logical thing he could think. He went straight to his father.

“I mean… I could try, James. But Walburga is a very talented witch.” Monty warned.

“Perfect! Then let’s figure something out. Maybe a locking or the Homonculous charm?” James suggested eagerly.

Monty smiled and drew his wand from his back pocket. With a flick, a faint yellow spark shot toward the sealed envelope.

“Wait, was it that simple? What did you do? Can you teach me that? Might be useful.” James grinned.

“It’s a Protean charm variation (*). You’ll learn it on your N.E.W.T.s.” Monty smiled. “The letter’s text is magically linked to Regulus and ensures he is the only one who can read it.” he explained.

James was in awe as his eyes widened.

“I love magic.” he breathed, sparkling with excitement. “Thanks, Dad!”

He ran to send the letter, then bounced up the stairs to his room. Upon entering, he saw Sirius slouched on his bed, fidgeting with one of James’ chocolate frog cards.

He looked bored. His eyes were dull, empty.

“Did you send your weekly letter to my brother?” he asked flatly.

James froze. He hadn’t told Sirius about the letters.

“I knew it!” Sirius snapped, his voice rising. “I told you, I don’t want anything to do with them! Not even ‘poor little Reggie’!” 

“Pads…” James started carefully. “He is your brother. He cares about you. I know he does.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. As far as I’m concerned, he’s no brother of mine.” His voice cracked on the last word.

James could tell Sirius was emotional, lashing out without thinking. Still, he refused to be his punching bag.

“Okay. Pause. Let’s not talk about it now,” he said calmly. “We’re going outside to throw Quaffles and burn off some steam.”

James could fly around flying balls until Sirius calmed down. He needed to externalize his anger. But not at him. Not right now. Sure, he knew he was overstepping, and Sirius needed to have this conversation. They would have it; just not at this moment.

“Pause. Sure. Whatever.” he said as he tossed the card on James’ desk.

That was good enough. James grabbed the bat and followed him outside.

They mounted their brooms and kicked off into the air. Sirius hurled the Quaffles with such force that James nearly got knocked in the head more than once. But after a good while, Sirius began to calm down, circling lower until he finally landed. His face had softened, and his eyes were warmer.

“Sorry, Prongs.” he murmured, staring at the ground embarrassed.

James smiled. “Hey, no need to apologize. Honestly, I was out of line. I shouldn’t have written to him, without telling you first.”

“It just…” Sirius hesitated. “It hurts to even look at him.”

James patted him on the shoulder. “We’ll figure everything out. I keep reminding myself that in two weeks we’ll all be at Hogwarts and everything will be better.”

“Yeah…” Sirius agreed, eyes still on the ground.

Suddenly, his expression shifted, lighting up with excitement.

“You’re scaring me. What?” James asked, half-laughing.

“The mirror!” Sirius said, grinning. “Prongs, I didn’t bring it here, did I?”

“Huh?!”

“Your mirror. It is still under my mattress at Grimmauld Place!”

James blinked. The mirror. How had he forgotten? After all those hours he and Wormtail had spent weeks sneaking around the library and fumbling with enchantments before finally making it. And Sirius was right. They could use it to reach Regulus. At least make his last two weeks more bearable. Maybe even convince him to leave.

“Did you mail the letter?” Sirius asked, snapping James out of his thoughts. “I overheard Monty mentioning a Protean charm.”

“I think we are getting ahead of ourselves, Pads.” James said firmly. “I kinda… might’ve begged him to respond.”

Sirius smirked. “Merlin, you’re pathetic. Fine. He replies and then we’ll tell him about the mirror. Sounds good?”

James nodded, with the hope that firstly the charm would work and secondly that Regulus would indeed reply.

He needed him to answer. He hoped that Regulus didn’t toss him aside. He couldn’t quite explain it, but James wanted to help him. To be allowed into his life. To try and fix what was breaking.

Chapter Text

Date: 21 August 1976

Regulus

James Potter is an arsehole. Always had been. Always will be.

His constant letters always reminded Regulus of that night - the night he did nothing to protect his big brother. Every word was a reminder that he failed Sirius, and that James was the one who got to play savior instead. 

Every time an owl barged into his room, anxiety surged through him. His mind kept wandering; What could he have done differently?

Could he really have helped Sirius?

No.

He was just as trapped. The only difference between them was that Sirius had a way out. He had James. Even Remus and Peter. Regulus had no one. His friends were bound by the same shackles. Well, not exactly, but every family of the sacred Twenty-Eight carried its poison.

James had offered to help more than once. And Merlin, Regulus wanted to run. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know why. He despised his family and everything they stood for, yet he stayed. Comfortable in his misery. Trapped by it.

Fuck James Potter and his help.

He’d get out of it on his own terms. He didn’t need a savior.

But most nights he’d lay awake, helpless. The childhood nightmares had returned, and Sirius wasn’t there to climb into his bed and chase them away. His room remained empty, unchanged. No one dared to step foot inside. He certainly did not.

He missed Sirius. That hurt more than he could ever admit.

While he was gone, his mother had taken a turn for the worse. She spent the first week locked in her room. Sometimes, Regulus could hear her quiet sobs through the walls. 

It was weird seeing his mother that vulnerable. To him, Walburga was a stone-like woman; nothing could shake her. But losing her eldest son, and heir to her house, really did a trick on her. And Regulus couldn’t quite understand why. All these years, his mum hadn’t shown any sign of love to either of her sons. To Reg, she only cared about the bloodline and keeping up images.

But at the end of the day, Walburga was human too. She may not often show it, but it hurt her. He couldn’t tell if she wept for Sirius, or because of the disgrace.

The Black family motto of Toujours Pur (‘always pure’) was followed assiduously. So when Walburga learned that Sirius went to live with Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, her rage was uncontained. Not that they weren’t ‘pure’, but because their beliefs on muggles were… questionable, as she’d always say.

Regulus witnessed his mother blast Sirius’ face off from the tapestry’s grant family tree. He was hiding in the shadows, alongside Kreacher, when he heard her. Tears streaked her cheeks as she hissed. “Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh! ... Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers!”

One month later, she still hadn’t calmed down. That wouldn’t bother Regulus, but she was constantly on his back, telling him that he was now the rightful heir to the house Black. She’d remind him that he was the only hope his family had. He nodded, kept his head down, and prayed for September. Hogwarts would be an escape, at least for a while.

But nothing dulled the absence of his brother. Regulus really missed Sirius - his laugh, his reckless jokes, the foolish grin that made everything lighter. Most of all, he missed having someone to talk to. His best friend.

Deep down, he blamed himself for the way things went down. He could have spoken up, or maybe run away with him, when he was given the chance. But he didn’t. And now, Regulus was the heir. He was the one to carry on the burden.

Sirius had seen it all along - always telling Regulus he’d make the better heir. And then he left, and made it true, unwillingly.

Anger boiled in him. At Sirius, at his mother, at his whole cursed family. He was pissed at his brother for leaving him here. He should have fought for him more. And even now, he hadn’t bothered to send even a single letter. Regulus was so easily replaced in Sirius' mind.

And of course, he was pissed at James bloody Potter, who wrote as if his letters could stitch broken pieces back together. Each one only tore them further.

But Potter hadn't considered the possibility that his actions were doing more harm than good. With each letter he received, it was as if he rubbed salt in old wounds.

And yet… hidden between the lines, there was a cruel comfort. Sirius was laughing again. Sirius was safe. Sirius was free. He got out. He got the life he always dreamt of.

Regulus was glad. Honestly, he was happy for his brother. But gladness didn’t change the truth.

He was alone.

He tried to fill his days doing anything he could. Most days though, he did nothing but stay in bed all day. 

Today was a day like that. 

James’ letter had arrived, along with his snow-white owl. He hadn’t read it yet, but he wanted to. He wanted to see how he would respond, after their brief meeting in Diagon Alley.

Regulus and Walburga were doing their school shopping, when he noticed them walking in the streets. When he saw his brother, his heart sank. Sirius was talking and laughing with James and his mother. He seemed well and composed. And then, his eyes turned empty. His expression turned cold.

Regulus wanted to speak to him. He wanted to run and hug him. He wanted to run to James and beg him to take him with them. But his mother’s presence couldn’t allow that. When James waved at him, he wanted to wave back. Instead, he lowered his head and nodded along at whatever his mother was telling him.

Stupid.

Regulus walked to his desk, where the letter lay unopened. Right beside it, he had placed Sirius’ presents. When he missed Sirius, he’d always look at the old photos he’d gifted him. ‘I thought we could keep adding to it. Together.’ he’d said.

Bullshit.

He had abandoned him. Now the album was half-empty. And it would remain like that. There was no together; not when he had left him. Beside the album, stood the pocket watch. He still hadn’t figured out how it works. But he would always keep it close to him.

These and his broom were the last good memories he had of Sirius. And he held them dearly into his heart. That was who Sirius was; a kindhearted person. Deep down, Reg knew he still cared about him. He knew that the wounds were too fresh. He also knew that Regulus reminded him of his mother and father. But that was not his fault. He was better than them. He didn’t want to turn out like them - it was his worst fear.

Regulus exhaled sharply and opened the envelope. James' handwriting was messy, almost unreadable at times.

He read every line carefully. Regulus noticed that James' concern seemed genuine. His questions were valid.

Fuck.

Indeed - why couldn’t he run away? He couldn’t answer the question, and that silence gnawed at him.

 But James was right, though. Being away from home had done Sirius good. He was thriving; even Regulus could see that. 

Fuck James Potter. For being right again. 

He picked up a quill and began writing. He wanted - needed - to explain his point of view as best he could.

“Potter,

I indeed saw you in Diagon Alley, and I noticed how much better Sirius seemed. I know being with you helps him. But I can’t do the same. I must be cautious. I am more reserved than Sirius. I am also the ‘good son’ in my parents’ eyes. I can’t simply pack up my things and go. I don't have that privilege. However tempting your offer may be, I must remain here. 

I’m being realistic.

Even if I tried to leave, it’s unlikely my parents would let me go without a fight. Walburga and Orion tolerated Sirius being gone because he was already a ‘lost cause’. This past month, they have clamped down harder on me to ensure I stay home. In their eyes, I’m everything Sirius failed to be.

Potter, my parents are vicious people. If I even think about leaving and coming to you, they’ll go after you and your family - and not just them. Their Death Eater friends would be at your door. You’re already considered no better than Mudbloods. Having me with you would only make things worse. Trust me in this.

You don’t want me there.

Thank you for taking care of my brother. I may not often show it, but it means a great deal. 

And don’t worry about me. I can handle myself and my parents. Either way, I’ll be back at Hogwarts in two weeks. I’ll be fine.

”

It was the longest letter he’d ever sent to Potter. Usually, he didn’t reply at all; or, if he did, his notes were clipped and cold. But this time, he wanted to explain himself. Maybe then, Potter would back off. Maybe he would finally leave him alone.

But if everything Sirius had said about James was true, backing down wasn’t in his nature.

And part of Regulus liked that someone cared that much. Yes, there were people in his life who cared, but it wasn’t the same. James didn’t actually know him - only the version Sirius had painted - yet he still seemed eager to help.

James’ letters revealed a side of him that Reg hadn’t expected. In them, he never bragged, never boasted about Quidditch or pranks or himself. He only asked about Sirius, about Regulus. His concern seemed genuine. Regulus acknowledged that.

He picked up his quill again and added at the very end of the paper:

“P.S. Did you read about the game between Chudley Cannons Vs. Wimbourne Wasps? Can’t believe the Chudley Cannons won again.”

He didn’t know why he wrote that. Maybe because Potter loved Quidditch, and he thought it would lighten the mood of his grim letter. Maybe because, if Potter was going to be such a big part of Sirius’ life, he might as well try to understand him.

Still, he sometimes envied Sirius, though. He envied his freedom and the safety net waiting to catch him. Sirius had always wanted more, and now he had it.

He’d gotten out.

But Regulus was just as smart. Sooner or later, he would find a way to escape as well.

What bothered him the most, though, was that Sirius hadn’t written to him once. It was always Potter.

Was he angry with him?

He asked himself that question over and over, never finding an answer.

Merlin, he fucking missed him.

.

⛤⛤⛤

Date: 25 August 1976

“Dear Regulus,

Thanks for replying so fast.

I get why you can’t leave. I really do. And from what I've heard, your parents really are arseholes. But I just want to help you. Allow me. Please.

Glad you said yes! :)

You see, Padfoot and I were talking the other day, and we remember a wee thingy. Go to Sirius’ room and lift the mattress on the top left side…”

Regulus was still in bed, when he opened the letter. His mother had woken him herself, telling him he had post. She’d looked… unsettled.

He slipped quietly into Sirius’ room. His room felt cold. It was weird being there without him. He gathered all the courage he could and lifted the mattress, just as James had instructed. Beneath it, hidden in the corner, lay a shard of glass.

A mirror.

The mirror.

What?!

He froze, heart beating, and read on:

“... There will be a mirror. But it’s a special mirror. It’s one of a pair, magically connected. We’ve got the other half. This allows us to talk to each other no matter where we are.

We want to see you, Regulus. Sirius needs to see you. Without Walburga. Just you.”

Regulus’ hand trembled while holding the mirror. He could talk to Sirius. That meant that he wanted to talk to him. He cared. He wasn’t being replaced.

“Please, hide the mirror like your life depends on it - it might. It’s the only safe way we can reach you. We don’t want it to end up in the wrong hands. On the 25th, around twelve, speak to the mirror and we’ll be there. Promise.

Try not to get caught.

P.S. I wouldn’t be James Potter if I hadn’t seen that game. I keep telling everyone that the Chudley Cannons are going to be the next big thing, but no one listens to me. If I go pro, I’m trying out as their Chaser!

See you soon,

James.”

Regulus let out a soft chuckle at his little note. He knew that Potter loved Quidditch, but he hadn’t realized he dreamed of making a career out of it.

But none of that mattered. After nearly two months of silence, he would finally speak to Sirius again - the longest they had ever gone without contact. It felt like a lifetime. Relief washed over him, and he even caught himself smiling.

But then the weight of reality crashed him back in. He still had to find a way out, and fast. One that wouldn’t get him or Sirius killed.

These last few days had been worse than usual. Yesterday, his father had summoned him to his office. Orion’s office was filled with bad memories; every time he went in there, he was made to do something he hated.

This time, though, it was worse than anything he’d imagined. His father’s voice still echoed in his mind.

“...We live in pivotal times, son. Seeing as you are now the heir of this house, it is only right that you complete what we began last month…”

He had always known that this day would come, but he could never fathom it would be so close.

Spring break, his father had said. By then, the Dark Lord himself would perform the act. Their family couldn’t afford another failure.

Regulus didn’t react to his father’s words; he didn’t even flinch. He kept his head straight and tried not to panic. Because panic meant weakness.

And Regulus Black was not weak.

He would outsmart them all.

He tried to shove that thought in the deepest corner of his mind and focus on the present. Today was the day he’d finally see his big brother.

He needed to find a quiet place for that. He couldn’t risk anyone overhearing. He could stay in his room and instruct Kreacher to shoo away anyone who tried to bother him, but that wouldn’t be enough.

The safest place he could think of was Sirius’ bedroom. It was on the top floor, and no one dared to step foot near there. But being in his room hurt.

Still, he had no other choice.

He needed every precaution. He found Kreacher in the kitchen, cleaning.

“I need you to trust me on this. I’m going to spend some time in… his room. If my parents want to come in, please try to stop them.” he knelt down to whisper in his big ears.

“As you wish, Master Regulus.” the elf replied.

Regulus smiled at him and patted him on the head. “Thanks. You’re the best.”

Regulus, though, hadn’t seen his parents at all today. He didn’t even know if they were at home. 

Not important.

He climbed up the stairs, as silently as he could. With every step he took, the stairs creaked. 

The hallway leading to Sirius’ room was dark and cold. The old wallpaper had started to peel off in some corners and small dust bunnies had started forming. It seemed no one came there. Not even the cleaners.

Regulus took a big breath and stepped once again into Srius’ room. He checked his pocket watch. 

Ten to twelve. 

He still had time. He grabbed the mirror from below the mattress and sat on the bed.

He took a moment to appreciate his brother’s impeccable taste in decor. From the weird posters, to the shrine to Godric Gryffindor - that made his mother fume with anger. It was all very Sirius. He couldn’t help but smile.

But Sirius was smart. Surely he’d hidden more things in his room; more wonderful stuff, like the mirror. Regulus decided to snoop around.

He opened his closet.

Merlin… It still smelled like him.

He rummaged through his old robes, and lo and behold he found a wooden trunk in the back of the closet.

Inside, there were all sorts of shenanigans: from small fireworks, with the stamp from Bernie Balls to Dungballs from Zonko’s shop. Beneath all the thingamajigs, Sirius had some newspaper clippings dating back to 1947. All related to werewolf laws.

Why would he need that?

As he was reading, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a flicker of light from the mirror beside him.

He quickly put everything back and sat at Sirius’ desk, holding the mirror upright.

For a moment, he got nervous, and his stomach flipped. And then he saw the face he longed for so long.

“Hi, Reggie…” Sirius’ voice echoed through the room.

Chapter Text

Date: 25 August 1976

Sirius

“Hi, Reggie…” Sirius whispered.

Sirius was sitting in his new bed when he met Regulus’ eyes. There he was; the same old Reggie. His little brother…

Seeing him filled Sirius’ chest with warmth. He could feel every single beat of his heart, hear every breath he drew.

Regulus just stared at him, unable to speak.

“You good?” Sirius asked playfully.

A shy smile spread across Regulus’ face and his eyes began to shine.

“Yeah. I’m good. I’m just-” his voice broke. “So glad to see you, Sirius.”

“I know. Me too,” Sirius replied, trying to sound steady. “I’m so sorry, Reg. I just…”

He wanted to tell Regulus it wasn’t his fault, that he’d never meant to abandon him, that he hated being apart. But the words were stuck. His mind spun, desperate to find something that would make Regulus forgive him. Nothing he could think of seemed good enough.

“I didn’t want to leave you there.” he finally managed.

Regulus tried to look composed, but Sirius could see right through him. He could see he was hurting.

“It’s not your fault.” Regulus whispered. “I just… miss you. That’s all.”

“I know, I know. I miss you too.”

Sirius felt his eyes sting. He didn’t want to cry, but a single tear slipped down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly, hoping Regulus hadn’t noticed.

“How are things at home, Reg?”

Regulus just shook his head and stared at the floor.

Bollocks. Sirius clenched his jaw, wishing he could storm back home and drag Regulus out himself. He had the urge to punch his mother. 

He took a deep breath. “We’ll get you out. I promise.” he paused. “Just… hang on for one more week. Then we will figure something out. Together.”

“That’s what I keep saying to myself.” Regulus said with his head still hung low.

Sirius couldn’t find anything cheering to say. 

The silence that followed was long and heavy.

Then Regulus suddenly looked up and smirked. “I found your trunk. Cool stuff you got there.”

Sirius had almost forgotten his ‘hidden stash of mischief’, as he’d like to call it. James had been the one to suggest keeping a safe place to hide things from his parents, and over the years Sirius had filled it with treasures. 

“You went through my stuff?!” Sirius laughed. “Oh please, bring me some of the Dungballs. Imma need them.” he begged.

“I’ll bring what I can.” Regulus promised. “But… I also found some newspaper clippings.”

“Huh?”

Then Sirius realized what he meant. Those clippings were from second year, when Wormtail, Prongs, and he had tried to figure out Remus’ strange behavior.

Sirius remembered those nights very clearly.

Their twelve-year-old minds might have been innocent, but not blind. They had noticed that their best mate was getting sick every month. James - whose mum was a very good healer - had the background to investigate. He was worried about him; all of them were. But whenever they asked, Remus would brush them off with flimsy excuses - such as the flu - that none of them believed.

One stormy night, Sirius and Peter had caught James in the common room, nose buried in a massive book, while sneaking a late-night snack from the kitchens.

“Why are you up, James?” Peter asked, munching on a piece of bread.

“Having trouble with Transfiguration, Potter?” Sirius teased.

But James was so absorbed in his book, that he didn’t even hear them.

“Earth to James? You there, mate?” Peter nudged him.

“Ah! Yeah, I’m here. What?” James sounded almost annoyed.

“What are you reading?” Peter asked, while peering over his shoulder.

James snapped the book shut and turned it so they could see the cover: ‘Magical Illnesses & Ailments’.

“We need to find out what’s wrong with Remus,” James said firmly. “It sucks that he has to suffer every month.”

Sirius remembered the three of them staying up all night, going over books James had borrowed from the library.

At one point, Peter stood up and stretched, glancing out the window.

“The moon is really beautiful tonight.” he had said.

And then it clicked.

Sirius looked up at the moon, then grabbed James’ book, flipping straight to the table of contents. There it was: a chapter on lycanthropy.

“Guys…” he muttered.

Both of them hovered over him, as he turned the page to that specific chapter and read the summary out loud:

“A werewolf, also known as a lycanthrope, is a creature which normally resembles a human being but, upon the complete rising of the full moon, becomes an uncontrollable, fearsome and deadly wolf. This condition is caused by infection with lycanthropy, also known as werewolfry. Werewolves are almost indistinguishable in appearance from the true wolf. The real difference is in behaviour. There is no cure for lycanthropy…(*)”

Sirius remembered his heart pounding as James murmured, “It’s a full moon tonight. And Remus went to the hospital wing this afternoon. It… kinda makes sense.”

The rest was history. But before confronting Remus, they researched everything they could about the condition.

That’s why Sirius had kept the newspaper clippings in his stash. He’d been searching for information on laws and regulations about werewolves. Reading them had only made him realize, yet again, how bigoted his family was.

He snapped back to the present.

“Oh, yeah. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” he told Reg, trying to sound casual.

“I don't even want to ask, do I?” he rolled his eyes.

Sirius smirked. He loved his little brother.

“How are you, Sirius? Be honest with me.” Regulus asked softly.

Sirius shrugged. He couldn’t answer that question. He didn’t know how or what he was feeling. He was glad for his freedom; for once he was able to imagine a future - a happy one. But at the same time guilt gnawed at him for the pain Regulus endured.

His chest felt heavy with that question. How could he say he was happy, while Regulus was stuck in his place?

He couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes. He felt ashamed.

Taking a long drag from his cigarette, he admitted “I honestly don’t know, Reg. I guess I’m okay.”

Regulus just stared at him. Sometimes his silence spoke louder than words.

“Would you like to come to our carriage next week? Bring your friends too, we’ll have space.” Sirius suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

The train ride to Hogwarts might be exactly what they both needed. Sirius longed to see him again, as soon as possible. Even if he didn’t care much for Regulus’ friends, he’d have James and Pete with him. It would be fine.

“Sure! I’ll ask Evan to come. We won’t all fit in the carriage, though.” Regulus smiled.

His smile seemed genuine. He didn’t look angry or pissed at him. Honestly, he looked more sad than angry. And that upset Sirius more.

“If you ever need me or James, just talk to the mirror and either one of us will be there. Okay?”

Regulus looked away; unable to face him. It hurt.

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered. “Where is Potter, anyway? I thought you two were inseparable.”

“Want to speak to him?” Sirius asked, surprised. “Seems about right, seeing as you were writing letters to each other about me all this time.”

Sirius tried to joke, but Regulus’ face flickered with confusion and a little bit of pain.

Were their letters not pleasant…?

When Sirius first learned James had been writing to Regulus, he felt furious. He didn’t want nor need any ties to his family. Not even with Regulus. But after he calmed down, he thought it was very kind of James to write and reach out.

Then it hit him. Regulus hadn’t enjoyed those letters. He may not have admitted it, not even now, but they only reminded him of his pain. Just as Sirius had felt.

Still, even Reg had to understand that Sirius could not stay at that hell. James was doing the right thing. In time, he’d understand it. Just as he had.

The door of his room opened slightly. It was James checking in.

“Speak of the devil.” Sirius smirked. “Come say hi. It’s your long lost pen-pal.” he joked.

James just ignored the jab and sat beside him, waving at Regulus.

“How you doin’, Regulus?” James asked kindly.

“Good. I-” his voice broke a little; as if he was holding back tears. “I wanted to thank you. Both.”

“For what?” James asked before Sirius could open his mouth.

“I don’t know.” Regulus shrugged. “For giving me the chance to speak with Sirius. It means a lot.”

He sounded like he was speaking directly to James; not just Sirius. But his gratitude was real. Sirius could see it as clear as day.

A soft, rhythmic knock echoed through Regulus’ reflection.

Sirius froze. He knew that specific knock. It was Kreacher’s warning that mother was coming. He didn’t dare to utter a word. He held his breath and wiped the smile off his face. Sometimes, Sirius thought that Walburga was much like a Dementor - always sucking the happiness out of the world around her.

“Gotta go.” Regulus whispered, with his head turned towards the door. “See you in a week.”

And just like that, Regulus’ soft smile vanished from the glass shard. Only James and Sirius’ reflection remained. But Sirius couldn’t let go of the mirror. He wanted to talk to him more. He needed his brother out. He longed for him.

“It’s okay, mate.” James reassured him, gently taking the mirror off his hands. “Everything will be better in a week.”

“Something happened this month. Something big. I could see it on his face.” Sirius admitted, eyes drifting towards the window.

“He seemed normal. Shaken, sure, with everything going on. But I assure you, nothing happened. He would have told us.” James smiled.

But no.

Sirius knew better. Regulus wouldn’t have said a word, not in that house.

No one could be trusted. That was the first real lesson they learned at Grimmauld Place.

“Thanks for setting this up, Prongs.” Sirus said.

James smiled. “That’s good ol’ me. The best best friend in the world. Thank me later, Pads.” he said with a smug grin.

Sirius nudged him lightly in the arm and let out a soft laugh.

He understood him so well. Sometimes, even better than Sirius understood himself.

“I think I need some time alone, if you wouldn’t mind.” Sirius murmured.

“Of course, mate. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.” James gave him a gentle smile.

The door closed softly behind him, leaving Sirius alone with his thoughts once more.

He stared out the window at the view that had grown very familiar. It had settled in him; this was his room, his home, his family. But Regulus was still his brother - his blood. As silly as it sounded, he still wished little Reggie would come to his senses. How could he not see the harm of staying at Grimmauld Place?

Sirius opened the window and pulled out a new pack of cigarettes. Monty and Effie were not so stoked about him smoking, but he couldn’t help it. He still felt somewhat trapped, even now. His brother’s burden weighed heavily on his shoulders.

A cold breeze drifted into the room, stirring his hair.

“Autumn is almost here,” he told himself. “Hogwarts will be the breath of fresh air I need.”

He spent his afternoon chain-smoking and thinking about his life - his future. With September drawing closer day by day, he had to think about it. He despised it, though. He wanted to roam free; to see the world, learn new things, love.

But every time he daydreamed, reality dragged him back down. He was crashing into his best friend's house, draining his money and his patience. Sirius acknowledged he was not the easiest person to live with. He knew he acted more with his heart and less with his brain - but he couldn’t help it.

Once he graduated, he’d need to find a steady job. A small flat, preferably in London. Something he could call his own. He’d also need to pay the Potters back. He was too proud not to. He needed to redeem himself.

But those were distant problems. For now, Sirius had to take one week at a time. This week had been… somewhat successful. The next would be harder.

Whenever Sirius thought about the Hogwarts Express, he remembered their carriage, the long train ride, all four of them talking about their summers. Every September 1st they would gather, laugh, and joke. He missed that. He missed the Marauders.

This year was going to be different from all the others. Once he worked out a plan with Regulus, he’d need to wrack his brain for a solution to the whole Remus situation.

He missed Remus - their late night talks, their full moons, his scent (always of old books and ink), and most of all his smile. Whenever Sirius did anything remotely silly, Remus would smile. A bloody genuine smile. A kind of smile that could even cure a leper.

He’d do anything to see that smile again…

Chapter Text

Date: 31 August 1976

Remus

Remus had never been good at goodbyes. His summer in Wales had been the breath of fresh air he desperately needed, and he would miss his parents more than he wanted to admit. Deep down he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay wrapped in the safety of his home, protected by his mum and dad.

He was finishing his packing with his mother when it truly hit him - how much he would miss them. Even a simple task like ironing his robes filled him with warmth.

Still, excitement bubbled beneath the sadness. A new school year meant new subjects, and Remus loved learning. He loved studying in the library or the common room with the Marauders, and now he had Lily too - sharp, kind Lily, who always seemed to care about him. He could already picture them crammed into the library for hours. His friends were clever, too clever sometimes, but they grew bored quickly. They didn’t spend hours poring over textbooks the way he did - and yet somehow, they still managed top-notch grades.

Yes, this year was going to be brilliant, he thought.

But Remus’ future was never guaranteed. He was a werewolf. If anyone knew his secret, no one would hire him. He needed every option to be open to him, so he had crammed his schedule with as many subjects as possible. It didn’t daunt him. He loved the challenge. He could be the best in every class, ace every exam.

Of course, there was more to Hogwarts than academics. He was eager to meet his friends. And most especially Sirius. He needed to make amends.

As he folded his Gryffindor robe, he stared blankly out the window. James and Peter had written to him that Sirius’ summer might have been the worst of his life. Remus couldn’t be the reason Sirius had a miserable year at school too. Although, some part of him still hadn’t forgiven him. What Sirius had done at the start of the summer had been a betrayal of his trust. How could he ever trust him again?

And yet… how could he not?

He was Sirius fucking Black.

His mouth always ran faster than his brain. That was just who he was. Maybe… just maybe, it was time to get his best friend back.

Remus missed him; he missed their late-night talks, the way he and James made his full moons bearable, the striking blue eyes watching him as they planned their next prank.

But Remus was simply too proud to forgive him so easily. He needed to see that Sirius had regretted what he did. Sirius needed to learn that his actions had consequences. Even if it hurt Remus a little as well. In time, they would be back to normal. Not right away, but little by little. Remus would fight for that.

“I think we got everything.” his mother’s voice pulled him away from his thoughts.

“Thanks, Mum.” he smiled.

“You need to sleep early tonight, love. We’re leaving at six o’clock, if we want to reach King’s Cross by eleven.” Hope smiled as she turned to leave.

“Yeah, yeah. I know the drill.” he grinned. “Night, Mum.”

His trunk packed, Remus lay down, gazing at the photo of his friends one more time. He truly needed to rest.

He felt exhausted, despite the last full moon being a whole week ago. The wolf in him longed to run aimlessly through the forbidden forest, not being trapped in a cellar. These three moons had left him utterly drained.

On the bright side, Remus thought, the next moon will be much easier.

He tried to sleep, but his thoughts wouldn’t rest; memories of the Marauders, worries about Snape, nostalgia for the innocence of their first years at Hogwarts. At last, he drifted into dreamless sleep.

The morning came far too quickly. The sound of his alarm clock woke him up at once. He blinked into the pale morning light with a mixture of tiredness and excitement.

“Year Six, here I come!” he murmured to himself.

He packed the last few things into his backpack: his wand, a book, his battered copy of Murder on the Orient Express - he loved crime novels - and of course, chocolate. Lugging his heavy trunk down the stairs nearly wore him out before the day began. Still, he felt a spark of anticipation.

 He dragged his feet into the kitchen, still drowsy, expecting his mother to prepare breakfast and snacks for the ride, but no one was there. A cool autumn breeze drifted through the window; woke him up. Suddenly, he realized they were running late. He rushed upstairs to his parents’ room and tapped lightly on the door.

“G’morning. We need to leave soon.” he whispered, nudging his mother softly.

Hope woke up abruptly and got ready in a jiffy. 

While he waited, Remus flicked through his novel, glancing at his watch every few minutes.

Half past six.

Remus couldn’t miss the Hogwarts Express.

“We really need to go!” He called to his parents.

Within minutes, they were out the door, hurrying to London. Remus often wondered why they didn’t just apparate, or use Floo powder - being a half-blood had its inconveniences. He spent most of the car ride dozing off in the back seat, music humming quietly from the radio.

“We’re here.” Hope said at last.

Remus checked his watch, once more.

Quarter to eleven. Just in time.

Just like every year, his mum stayed behind on the Muggle side of the barrier; muggles couldn’t pass through it.

“I’m going to miss you, Remus. Be safe and have fun.” Hope said, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Thanks, Mum.”

Just as every year, he walked through the wall, and a scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. He pushed his trolley, trying to find some familiar faces along with his father.

“I think I know the drill from now, dad. I’ll see you at Christmas.” he smiled at his dad, who was trying to catch up with him.

“I’m going to wait here until the train departs. Go and find your friends.” Lyall said warmly.

Remus checked the clock hanging above him. Ten to eleven. He pressed on through the crowd until he found an empty compartment near the end of the train. Near their carriage. He started to shove his trunk towards the train door. 

Now, he just needed to find Lily and her friends. She had invited him to sit with her again, and he knew she would already be settled somewhere.

He started walking towards the front, peeking into every compartment.

After passing a few compartments, he caught sight of a familiar scene: Sirius, James, Peter, along with Sirius’ younger brother, Regulus, and another Slytherin boy. He froze. Remus tried not to stare, but he was caught off guard. Heedlessly, he slowed, then hid a few steps behind the glass door, peering in through the window. The first thing he noticed was Sirius’ smile. He was sitting next to his brother, ruffling his hair. Regulus looked almost happy; he tried to hide his smile, but he eventually gave in. A reluctant smile tugged at his own lips. For a moment, he almost stepped inside.

But he couldn’t.

He turned away, walking slowly, secretly hoping someone might notice him.

And someone did.

“Remus!” James’ voice rang out as the door slid open.

Remus gave up pretending he hadn’t heard and turned.

“Remus John Lupin!” he grinned, catching up with him. “Hello, mate!”

“Hey, James. How was your summer?”

“Merlin’s beard, Remus - what do they feed you? You’ve shot up a foot!” James clapped him on the back.

Remus laughed. He had, in fact, outgrown half his clothes over the summer.

“Good to see you too.” Remus said, still smiling.

“Come sit with us! We’re with Reg and Evan, if you don’t mind.”

“Erm… Lily is waiting for me.” Remus said carefully. “Best I head there. Thanks, though.”

James’ grin faltered, but he quickly masked it. “All good, mate. If you get bored of Evans and her lot, you know where to find us.” 

Remus nodded and moved on with his search for Lily.

A few carriages later, the bright glimmer of Lily’s red hair caught his eye. He slid the door open, just as the speakers crackled overhead, warning departure in five minutes.

“Hello, everyone!” Remus said with a wave.

Lily jumped up from her seat and hugged Remus. He blinked in surprise.

“Where were you?! It’s almost time for departure. We for sure thought you were going to miss the train!” Lily scolded with her hands on her hips.

That’s when he noticed the new shiny badge on her chest: Prefect. A large ‘P’ gleamed across a maroon background, beside the Gryffindor lion.

“The badge looks great, Lily!” Remus said, taking a seat

“I thought only fifth-years became prefects.” Mary smirked.

“Oh, I know a good bit of gossip about that actually.” Marlene cut in.

Everyone leaned forward.

“I heard that Angelica Warbeck was supposed to be Prefect, but her mother, Celestina Warbeck, wouldn’t let her.” 

“Who… is that?” Lily asked.

“You don’t know Celestina?” Marlene gaped. “The most famous singer in the wizarding world? The Singing Sorceress?”

Remus only half-listened. He didn’t know a lot about wizarding music, though he enjoyed it; his mother had records on end with all kinds of music. But none of them were magical.

“So,” Mary said brightly, “how was everyone’s summer?”

The compartment erupted with stories. Marlene had spent two weeks in Italy, then the rest of summer sulking in London without her broom - ‘a complete tragedy’.  Mary, on the other hand, had the time of her life at her summer home in southern England, shamelessly adding that she’d ‘snog with anyone willing to’. Remus couldn’t help but laugh; she was so genuine that it caught him off. Lily’s summer, however, was the most exhilarating. She spoke animatedly about Martin, her boyfriend, who sounded by all accounts like quite the catch.

“So, what happens now that you’re back at school?” Mary asked, frowning.

“He’s my boyfriend, Mary. I’ll see him at Christmas - that’s, what, three months?”

The others, Remus included, exchanged uneasy looks.

“What?” Lily demanded.

“Do you… trust him enough?” Remus fiddled with his sleeve. “Y’know how lads can be.”

“Of course I do. You think… he’d cheat?”

“No! No, not at all. If you trust him, then so do we.”

“Let’s change the subject.” Marlene said firmly. “Remus, how was your summer?”

Remus hesitated. His summer hadn’t been glamorous, or exciting, or even particularly happy. He just needed to rest. To do nothing.

“Eh… just stayed with my Mum and Dad. Boring stuff.”

The rest of the train ride passed easily, with a lot of chit-chat and snacking. Lily left early to meet the other Prefects, but Marlene and Mary were welcoming, keeping him laughing with gossip and sweets. They let him in on all the gossip and the latest dirt on almost everyone. Somehow, word drifted to them that Sirius had been cut off from the Black family. Remus knew that, but somehow they had even more details.

“I heard Regulus is the heir now,” Mary whispered. “And some say he wanted Sirius gone - that maybe he even helped their parents disown him.”

“Mary.” Marlene shot her a sharp look, then turned to Remus with a gentler tone. “We don’t have to talk about it. We know you used to be best mates.”

He indeed didn’t want to continue with this conversation. But what Mary said didn't sit quite right with Remus. Regulus would never do that. 

“I think that’s all just bloody gossip.” he said flatly. “Sirius’ family is fucked.”

“In that,” Marlene muttered, “we can all agree.”

The conversation shifted. No one dared to mention Sirius again. By the time they reached Hogwarts, Remus was tired but not ready to sleep. The girls’ company had been unexpectedly warm.

⛤⛤⛤

The Great Hall was as magical as ever. Thousands of floating candles lit up the four long tables, each filled with students. Above them, the enchanted ceiling shimmered with a clear, starry sky, with little to no clouds. Remus sat with the sixth-years, Lily beside him, Marlene and Mary across. Just down the table, the Marauders had gathered. Before the sorting began, the Hall roared with laughter and chatter. Remus barely heard what anyone was saying. His eyes were fixed on Sirius. He looked carefree, laughing as he tried to show Peter some half-baked magic trick.

Then the tall doors opened. Dumbledore entered, and the Hall fell silent. He looked older this year. More tired. More worn.

“Best of evenings to all of you!” He began vigorously. “Before the Sorting Ceremony begins, I’d like to say a few words.”

The Hall grew still. All the students seemed to pay attention.

“First, allow me to introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Mr. Edmund Thorne. I hope you will all be kind to him.”

There was some scattered, rather unenthusiastic applause. Only a few students clapped; the rest turned to whisper. A sly roar erupted from the tables. At the staff table, a short, dark-haired man shifted in his seat. His robes were frayed, his face drawn. He looked nothing like a professor.

“Do you reckon he’ll be easy prey for pranks, Prongs?” Sirius muttered, just loud enough for Remus to hear.

“It’s like you read my mind, Pads.” James smirked.

From the corner of his eye, Remus saw Lily roll hers.

“They’re joking of course.” Remus murmured to her.

“Why do I find that hard to believe?” she whispered back, but smiled.

Dumbledore lifted his glass, and silence swept the room once more.

“As I was saying,” he continued, “these are difficult times we live in. I urge you all to be aware - of your surroundings, of others, of what may go wrong. Hogwarts remains the safest place in Britain, and I intend to keep it that way. Should you need help, please turn to your Prefects or to your Head Boy or Girl. They will be more than willing to assist you. May this year bring you everything you wish for. Thank you, and have a magical first day.”

Just as he sat, the doors opened again. Filch shuffled in, carrying the Sorting Hat, followed by Professor McGonagall and a line of nervous first-years.

Remus always enjoyed the Sorting Ceremony. For these children, it was the moment they found their belonging. Even if they didn’t feel like it right now; their house was their newfound family. That was how he had felt when the Hat had called: Gryffindor. He still remembered the roar of applause, the first time he felt his secret didn’t define him. That’s why he cheered so loudly now - sometimes even whistling - when a new Gryffindor joined their table. He wanted them to feel it too.

At last, Dumbledore rose again. “We welcome our new students. Thank you for your patience, everyone. Now - let’s feast!”

With a flick of his wand - just like every year - the tables were filled to the brim with every food imaginable; roasted turkey, treacle tart, buttered potatoes, pumpkin juice. Remus loved magic.

“Finally,” Lily said, grabbing chicken.

Remus hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the platters appeared. He piled his plate high, his stomach growling at the mix of aromas.

“Chill, mate!” James laughed. “There’s enough food for everyone!”

Remus grinned, sheepishly putting a roll back on the tray.

By the time dessert plates vanished, the Hall was full of yawns and drooping eyelids.

“I don’t know about you lot, but I’m ready for bed,” Remus said, his voice slipping easily into the Marauders’ circle before he caught himself.

“Couldn’t agree more, mate.” James replied with a sly smile.

Sirius sat with his chin in his hands, eyes closed, half-asleep already.

The old rhythm had come too naturally to him. With a jolt, Remus turned to Lily instead.

“Ready to head up?”

“Ugh, I wish. I’ve got to escort the first-years. Go on without me. Password’s ‘Lioness’ Courage’. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Remus nodded, shouldering his bag. He wanted to be the first in their dorm. The first night was going to be the most awkward, and he knew it.

⛤⛤⛤

Remus stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, a rush of relief and nostalgia flooding him. His heart beat faster, impatience prickling at his skin.

“Lioness’ Courage”. he said firmly.

The portrait swung open, revealing the common room, alive with laughter and noise. The familiar sound set him at ease. He took a deep breath and made his way to the dormitory. Climbing the familiar stairs, he entered the room that already held his things, along with the Marauders’ trunks. Being the first to arrive, he had the first pick of the beds. He chose the one furthest from the tall, stained-glass window. He wanted as much distance from the moon as possible.

Sitting down, he let out a long breath, as though a heavy burden had lifted from his shoulders.

Moments later, the door opened and three familiar figures stepped inside.

“I’m telling you,” Peter was saying to James. “The new DADA professor looks really familiar.”

“Everybody looks familiar to you, Wormy.” Sirius smirked.

They froze when they saw Remus sitting on his bed.

“Hey.” Remus said with a small smile and a wave.

The three traded glances.

“How’ve you been, Moony?” Peter asked, trying to break the ice.

“Good.” 

James and Peter stared at each other, and then suddenly darted for the remaining beds, leaving Sirius still standing, his gaze locked on Remus.

Remus offered him a shy smile. For a moment, he thought he saw the faintest flicker of relief in Sirius’ eyes.

Not a moment later, Pete and James were already sitting on their beds like their life depended on it.

“Finders keepers, Padfoot!” James laughed, already sprawled on a bed. “You’re too slow. You're stuck with the worst one: dodgy mattress, old frame, and right by the window!”

Sirius finally smiled back at Remus and threw himself onto his bed.

“Blimey…” he exclaimed. “It truly is the worst.”

Remus chuckled, and before he knew it Sirius was bouncing on the mattress, still in his shoes, laughing loudly.

The others stared at him. Then Peter scrambled up to join in, giggling. James glanced at Remus.

“Are they alright?” he asked, trying to keep a straight face.

Remus just shrugged his shoulders, kicked off his shoes and joined them. It was fun, jumping up and down. It was very very childish, but he didn’t care. He was having the time of his life. For a moment, it was like they were eleven again, wasting time on long, boring nights.

Soon, even James caved in, but not before rummaging through his trunk, pulling out a small radio, and blasting his favourite station.

“Remember when we did that on the first day of second year?” Pete wheezed between jumps.

Remus felt like a child again. He felt as if nothing had gone wrong last year. His best mates were back. At least for this moment, he was home.

Sirius smiled widely and eventually hopped down, opened the window and leaned against the frame. An autumn breeze filled the room along with smells of freshly cut grass. Remus couldn’t see his expression. He didn’t know whether he was still smiling. Or maybe even crying. Or anything. He sank back onto his bed, watching Sirius’ back in silence.

When the song ended, James lowered the volume and sat on his bed. “That was fun!” he said cheerfully.

No one replied to him though.

Instead, Peter and James went to join Sirius at the window. Remus followed.

“I’m glad to be home.” Sirius muttered, voice cracking.

His eyes glistened. Remus wondered if the tears were from missing all this.

The boys stayed and gazed at the Hogwarts grounds for a little while, until one by one drifted off to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

At last, only Sirius and Remus remained. They sat side by side in silence. The silence was exactly what Remus needed. He felt at peace. And yet, memories kept surfacing; waking up in the hospital wing, Sirius’ voice telling him what had happened with Snape. Even in this moment of quiet, his mind wouldn’t rest.

The radio still hummed softly in the background when Sirius cleared his throat lightly.

“I’m sorry, Moony.” he whispered.

Remus turned to look at him. Sirius’ grey eyes were shining with unshed tears, fixed on the night sky. He couldn’t lie to him. He couldn't pretend he hadn’t forgiven him, nor admit that part of his heart still wasn’t ready.

He said nothing. He just looked at him for a moment that seemed endless. And then he left the window.

“Gotta get ready for bed.” he muttered, walking away.

Sirius wiped his cheeks quickly, but remained otherwise still.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

In the bathroom, Remus broke. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. He locked himself in a stall and cried quietly, his heart tearing itself in two. His mind told him to forgive; it had been a mistake. But his heart wasn’t ready to let go.

By the time he returned, James and Peter were fast asleep. Sirius was missing. Remus scanned the room until he spotted him. He took a few careful steps towards his bed. Curled at the foot of his bed, in the form of the gentle and loving big black mutt that had been his comfort on countless moons, Sirius slept soundly.

Remus smiled faintly and then slipped back into his own bed.

His first night back at Hogwarts was filled with both joy and sorrow.

Chapter Text

Date: 2 September 1976

Peter

“Shit! We overslept.” Peter shouted to his friends, startled awake by sunlight blasting straight into his eyes. “We can’t be late on our first day back!”

The other three boys were still fast asleep in their beds, blissfully unaware. Peter yanked the covers all at once - the only way for them to wake up.

“What the fuck, Wormtail?” Sirius groaned, shielding his eyes with his hands.

“What time is it?” Remus mumbled, still half-asleep.

“Five more minutes, please.” James added, his face buried in his pillow.

Peter rolled his eyes. “It’s ten to nine. We missed breakfast, and we’ve only got ten minutes to get ready and make it to class.”

That did the trick. At once, the dorm exploded into chaos as the boys scrambled around, tripping over clothes and books in a desperate attempt to dress. It was obvious they wouldn’t make it in time. Their first class of the term was Defence Against the Dark Arts, with the new professor. Peter couldn’t quite figure him out when he first saw him in the Great Hall.

As Sirius had said last night, he could turn out to be just another gullible, soft-hearted bloke - which meant their pranks this year might be legendary. Still, D.A.D.A. was one of the few subjects Peter truly valued, especially given how things were in the wizarding world lately. He wasn’t the best student, but anything useful he could pick up might matter one day.

Peter was the first one ready. He had neatly laid out his clothes and books on top of his trunk the night before for this exact reason; he knew they were going to be late. None of them had remembered to set their alarm the night before.

“Come on guys!” he yelled.

The boys rushed down the stairs, shoving and elbowing their way through the narrow hallway. The common room was mostly empty; everyone else was already in class.

“Padfoot!” James stopped just before they left the common room.

The others didn’t. Remus pushed the portrait door open and started stepping through.

“PADS!” James repeated louder.

That got their attention. All three turned around.

“WHAT?!” they said in unison.

“Padfoot,” James said gently this time, barely hiding a grin. . “You’re wearing jeans.”

They all looked at Sirius. Sure enough, beneath his new Gryffindor robes were a pair of black jeans. Hogwarts’ dress code was strict; there was no way he’d make it into class like that.

Without another word, Sirius cursed under his breath and sprinted back upstairs, practically jumping as he tried to get out of the jeans.

“He’s such an idiot.” Remus chuckled.

Peter noticed that Remus had begun to warm up to Sirius again. His anger had started to fade. James had told Peter to give them space for a while, given that whatever had gone on between them would blow over eventually. So that’s what they did. They left the two alone in the dorm last night while pretending to get ready for bed. But that was a small white lie - they actually stayed in the common room for a while. When they came back up, Remus was gone, and Sirius was still sitting by the window, staring into nothing.

Peter had learned long ago not to bother Sirius when he got like that - sad and quiet. James had said he’d snap out of it soon enough. And sure enough, this morning, he seemed back to normal.

“How are we going to get there on time?” Peter asked.

James shrugged. “No idea.”

“You forget yourselves.” Remus said calmly. “We happen to possess a certain map - with all the hidden passages of Hogwarts-”

“Of course. You’re brilliant, Moony!” James interrupted. “It’s in my trunk. I’ll grab it”

He dashed upstairs. A minute later, he reappeared with Sirius - now properly dressed - and the map in hand.

“I think…” Peter began, taking the map out of his hands. “The fastest way to the third floor is through the statue passage one floor below.”

“Right. Sixth floor, then.” Sirius gave them a push toward the moving staircase.

Peter led the way - he knew Hogwarts better than anyone, perhaps even better than Dumbledore himself. All these excursions from last year finally seemed useful. They made it to the third floor in record time.

“Five past nine” Remus noted grimly.

The classroom door in front of them was closed. They were late.

Peter knocked once. 

The door opened abruptly, revealing Professor Thorne seated at his desk, arms crossed. He looked far more intimidating up close.

Peter swallowed hard and stepped inside.

The three boys slipped quietly to the back of the room, heads hung low. As they walked, the other students - along with the professor - stared down at them. The lesson hadn’t yet begun, but they were still the only ones late.

On the blackboard behind Professor Thorne, messy handwriting read:

Mr. Edmund Thorne

Ex-Auror

After a few moments of silence, Professor Thorne rose. Instantly, every eye turned towards him. Peter found him terrifying. He felt remorseful for being late and wanted nothing more than to stay out of the man’s way.

“As I was saying before that brief interruption,” Thorne paused, eyes flicking to the Marauders. “Defence Against the Dark Arts is a very important subject. It’s the only one you’ll truly find useful in the years to come.”

A few students exchanged uneasy glances.

“Ah, yes. I know you’ve read the board.” he went on, pacing slowly up and down the rows. “I am an ex-Auror.” he added with a note of pride.

As he passed Peter’s desk, Peter noticed more details - the faded scar across his face, the bruised knuckles on his right hand, as though from a recent fight. Young as he looked, this professor had seen more than most.

“Before I go through the curriculum,” Thorne continued, “there are a few things you should know. I’ve been in real fights. Sure, I can teach you incantations and wand movements, yes, but out there…” He paused, his voice low and steady. “Out there, sometimes you live on pure luck - and with a lot of help. Some of the best witches and wizards I knew didn’t live past twenty-five.”

His tone was sincere and almost chilling. Peter glanced at Remus beside him, who seemed captivated rather than frightened. Wasn’t he scared?

From the way Thorne spoke, it sounded as though death could come in the blink of an eye, and no amount of training could prepare you for it.

“Then what’s the point of this?” said a blond Hufflepuff girl in a rather aggressive voice.

Some faint gasps erupted in the classroom.

“That is a very good question…?” he replied calmly.

“Sally Smith, sir.”

“Miss Smith, you need to learn how to defend yourselves. You need to be prepared, so that, when the time comes, you’ll have every option available to you. And if that’s not a convincing enough reason for you to learn, then you can simply… walk out. Go play Quidditch.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Did he just say we can leave if we want?” he whispered to Remus.

“Why would you ever want to leave?” Remus murmured, a faint grin tugging at his lips.

The classroom erupted in whispers.

“I’ll tell you the truth.” Thorne continued and the whispers stopped at once. “I’m not like other teachers. I believe that if you don’t want to be here, then you shouldn’t be. I won’t mark you or your house down and if you pass the final examination, then - congratulations. But know this: I’ll do my best to teach you as much as I can. We’ll duel, explore the Forbidden Forest, and learn all the wonders Defence Against the Dark Arts has to offer! If you’re willing, we can make anything possible!”

His excitement was infectious.

“So,” he said, pulling a parchment from his desk, “the Headmaster and the Ministry already gave some ‘suggestions’ about this school year. I’d like to add a few things of my own. For the first term, we’ll follow the suggested N.E.W.T.-level topics: Nonverbal Spells, the Shield Charm, and dark creatures such as Dementors. And then, we’ll mix things up. Sounds good?” he smiled.

Seeing the intimidating professor smile was strangely unsettling for Peter.

Professor Thorne could possibly be the most interesting Professor this year. He seemed a lot different from the first time he saw him. Back in the Great Hall, he looked just like a lame young teacher. Now, he was both inspiring and terrifying. Still, he wasn’t sure about him. Something in Professor Thorne seemed off.

Everyone nodded, and the first lesson began.

⛤⛤⛤

“I think he is really cool.” James noted as they were walking out of the classroom.

“Definitely unlike any other Professor.” Remus agreed.

It was true. Thorne’s introductory lesson had been far more different. He’d promised little to no homework; most of the work would be done in class. What truly captivated everyone was his demonstration of the Patronus Charm. With a swift flick of his wand, a thin wisp of silver escaped his wand. A bright, silvery eagle soared into the room, leaving everyone in awe.

As terrifying as Dementors sounded, Peter couldn’t help but feel excited to learn the spell himself.

“What do you reckon your patronus will be?” he asked.

“The animal species it takes the form of is the one which the caster had the greatest affinity for.” Sirius said, sounding like he was quoting straight out of a book. “I think we all know what ours will be.” he winked.

If that was true, then Peter’s patronus would be a lame rat. Brilliant. The smile faded off his face quickly.

“Cheer up, Wormy.” James said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Your Patronus doesn’t have to match your Animagus form.”

Peter sighed but smiled back. “Whatever. Anyway, we’ve got a free period. What do you wanna do?”

“You’re always on my mind, Wormtail.” James said with a grin on his face. “Saturday, we bring back one of our legendary Gryffindor parties!”

“I thought you’d canceled it, James.” Remus muttered.

“Why cancel a perfectly good excuse for a party?” Sirius said, his enthusiasm matching James’. “It’s going to be a blast!”

Peter liked their parties, though this particular one had been canceled because of Remus and Sirius. It was natural for Remus to be cautious about it.

“It’s going to be brilliant, Moony.” Peter said encouragingly.

Remus shrugged, then finally gave in and agreed.

They had just two days to pull it together - a nightmare for anyone else, but easy work for them. James had a stash of drinks from last year (always prepared), Sirius would prepare the common room on the day, and Peter and Remus would spread the word.

Their guest list rules were simple: every Gryffindor was automatically invited, followed by anyone from other Houses they actually liked. No Mulciber. No Snivellus. And, of course, make sure McGonagall was ‘informed’. They never asked permission - they just told her. And she was usually fine with that.

Chapter Text

Date: 4 September 1976

Sirius

Everything was ready for today’s party. Sirius had done his part, that was for sure. He had woken up early - before anyone else - and made a list of things he had to prepare. First, he needed to make space in the common room; a simple Hover Charm would do the trick. Then, he’d set up the table for the drinks and add a few decorations. That was an easy enough job for him.

Sirius was thrilled about this party. It was his chance to make up with Remus, once and for all. By then, everyone's mood would be relaxed and cheerful; he could steal a few moments of Remus’ time for a chat or some light-hearted banter.

On the first night back at Hogwarts, Sirius had apologized from the heart. It might not have seemed like it - besides, Sirius was never good at showing how he felt - but was genuine. Yet once again, Remus had rejected his efforts and left him alone by that damn window. That night, Sirius could tell Remus was uneasy, though his face was still the same one Sirius knew so well - the same clever, kind boy he’d shared so many moments with. He even smelled the same: old books and freshly cut grass. The only thing different was his height - he stood a head taller now. But he was still Remus. The same Remus Sirius he had hurt not long ago. And Sirius would do anything to bring back that brilliant smile.

For the past two days, Remus had done his best to avoid him as much as possible. Sirius, on the other hand, had done everything he could to catch him alone, to talk, to reconnect. But every time they seemed to be alone, Remus found an excuse to leave.

Tonight, that excuse wouldn’t work. They were hosting a party. And a smidge of alcohol might help loosen things up. He needed to make amends. He missed him.

The party would start right before curfew, so Sirius had a few hours left to spare. He had finished setting up the common room faster than he expected. His three friends were probably out on the grounds, doing Merlin knows what.

Sirius took the map from James’ drawer, shoved it into his back pocket and headed out to join them. Before stepping through the portrait hole, he stopped and admired his marvelous decorative skills. The walls were decked out with red and gold flags, along with a banner that read: ‘Welcome Back to Hogwarts!’. The old wooden table wore a matching tablecloth and the armchairs had been pushed to the walls.

“I am up to no good.” He muttered under his breath as he stepped out.

Ink bloomed across the map once more. It didn’t take him long to find his friends. They were strolling around the Quidditch pitch; surely James had dragged them there.

“Mischief managed.” Sirius said, folding the parchment and breaking into a jog.

He reached the middle courtyard in record time, nearly running. Sirius pulled the map from his back pocket again, along with his wand. As he confirmed his friends’ whereabouts - eyes fixed on the parchment - he crashed, full force, into a group of students.

“Watch where you’re going.” a boy hissed.

Sirius had dropped everything in his hands. He bent down to gather his things, not noticing at first who he’d collided with. When he finally looked up from the ground, he froze. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

“Sirius?” said a familiar voice.

Behind the first boy - now in clear sight - stood Regulus.

“It’s okay, Barty.” Regulus told the Slytherin boy, who still looked irritated. “Go. I’ll meet you later.”

The boy gave a soft grunt but left swiftly along with the other Slytherins.

Regulus crouched to help Sirius with his stuff, picking up the blank piece of parchment before offering him a hand. For a moment, neither spoke; they just stared at each other.

“Hi.” Regulus finally managed with a soft smile. “Got everything?”

Sirius nodded. He hadn’t had a chance to be with his brother alone since they’d spoken through the mirror a week ago. They’d seen each other on the train but that had been totally different. There, James and Peter kept things light with easy chatter and games - a welcome distraction from what neither brother was ready to say.

“Yeah, thanks.” Sirius said, smiling faintly.

“We need to talk, Sirius.” Regulus said quietly, his tone shifting.

Sirius’ smile faded at those words. That was never a good sign.

“Is everything alright?”

“No.” Regulus paused. “I think… I need help. Can you meet me later tonight?”

“We’ve got a party going in Gryffindor Tower tonight. Can it wait?” Sirius asked, concern creeping into his voice.  “Ah, fiddlesticks - didn’t Peter and Remus invite you? You should definitely come.”

“I’m not in the mood for a party.” He rolled his eyes. “We can talk tomorrow. It’s fine.”

“C’mon, Reg. Please. It would mean a lot to me if you came. Bring someone if you want. The more the merrier.” Sirius tried to smile.

“I’ll think about it.” Regulus said, handing the map back. “Thanks for the invite, though.”

Sirius took the map, but before he could say more, Regulus turned to leave. Sirius watched him go, a familiar ache twisting in his chest.

“We can talk tonight.” Sirius called after him.

Regulus didn’t even turn his head back; he just waved at him dismissively. Sirius took a deep breath and continued his way to the Quidditch pitch.

The pitch was quiet with only very few students strolling or flying. James was running drills, while Remus and Peter sat on the bleachers munching toast.

“Aren’t tryouts in a couple of weeks?” Sirius asked, dropping down beside Peter.

“James said he was out of practice.” Remus answered naturally, eyes still on the pitch.

“He’s aiming for captain this year,” Peter added through a mouthful. “Says he needs all the flying he can get.”

“You’ll be pleased to hear that everything is in order for the party.” Sirius announced proudly. “Ah, also you stupid blokes forgot to invite my brother. I told him to come and maybe bring a friend.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Remus and Peter exchange glances.

“What?” he demanded.

“It’s just…” Peter hesitated. “We didn’t know whether or not you’d want him there. Y’know, with all that happened this summer.”

Remus nodded slightly, saying nothing.

“He’s my brother, for fuck’s sake!” Sirius’ voice started to rise. “And you don’t have to walk on eggshells with me anymore. I’m fine!”

Sirius was agitated. He didn’t know why. His friends had only good intentions - but lately, everyone had been too careful, too gentle with him. It grated on his nerves.

Just then, like a deus ex machina, James landed and jogged over.

“Everything alright?” he asked cheerfully.

“Padfoot invited Regulus to the- ” Peter started, but Sirius cut in.

“Yeah, we’re fine.” Sirius forced a smile.

James glanced between them, lifted his eyebrows, and shrugged. “Alright then. C’mon, we’ve got a party in two hours.”

⛤⛤⛤

The Gryffindor common room slowly filled with people. Sirius and James had brewed up a fruit punch generously laced with firewhisky, while Remus and Peter - thanks to the invisibility cloak and a few helpful house-elves - raided the kitchens for some ‘awesome and delicious food’.

The sun had sunk behind the hills, leaving the room bathed in a warm orange glow from candles and lamps. The only thing missing was music. Luckily, they still had the record player they’d ‘borrowed’ from the Hogwarts Choir two years ago. No one had asked for it back, so it had become one of Gryffindor Tower’s most prized possessions.

“What should I put on, Prongs?” Sirius asked, flipping through their collection of mostly wizard records.

James was fussing over the drinks table and didn’t answer - until a familiar voice floated down from the stairs.

“I’ve got this. Trust me.” 

Lily Evans looked stunning; she wore a skin-tight deep green floral dress with loose long sleeves. Her auburn hair fell perfectly on her shoulders with careful but beautiful curls that complimented her utterly. She carried three records in her hands.

James finally looked up.

“You look good, Evans.” Sirius teased.

“Stop mocking me, Black!” she shot back, placing her records on the table beside the player.

“No,” James smiled, trying to sound genuine. “You really do look beautiful.”

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. “I’ve got the perfect party music. Put this on. Trust me.” She handed the first record to Sirius.

He squinted at it. “What even is this?”

“ABBA.” she said grinning. “Everyone’s gonna love it. Especially us muggleborns.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at James, whose gaze was following Lily as she walked away towards her friends. “Have you ever heard of them?” 

James lifted his shoulders and shook his head.

The record began spinning just as the rest of the Marauders walked in with trays of food floating behind them.

“I think we’ve got everything.” Remus said, closing the portrait door with his free hand.

“We can always run for more later.” Peter added.

Food, drinks and music: check. Now they need to wait for more people to turn up.

Within half an hour, the room was packed. Even a few first-years joined - though someone had to guard the drinks table to keep the younger ones away from the firewhisky. The atmosphere was electric: dancing, laughter, chatter, singing.

Sirius was in his element, always a drink in his hand, spinning to the rhythm of this new and brilliant music. He really enjoyed it. The song ‘Mamma Mia’ was blasting through the speakers, and he couldn’t stop grinning.

“Good choice, Evans.” Peter called over the music, dancing beside Lily and Mary.

James - the popular golden boy he was - made rounds through the crowd, drinking his ass off and making sure everyone was having a good time. Sirius didn’t mind; he was too busy dancing with Wormtail, lightheaded and free.

The night carried on perfectly. It had been a long time since he’d felt this good. The alcohol loosened the edges of his thoughts, letting him breathe again. He felt a little tipsy - and in desperate need of his friends. Peter was dancing with a Hufflepuff girl from his Herbology class, James was mingling through the crowd and Remus was nowhere to be seen.

Not wanting to bother anyone else, Sirius went searching for him.

He pushed his way through the hoard of people on the dance floor; the whole place was packed, but he couldn’t find him.

“You alright, mate?” James stopped him, yelling over the blasting music.

“Have you seen Moony?” Sirius called back.

“I saw him a while ago.” he paused, squinting. “Let’s go somewhere quieter. We can’t talk like this.” 

Sirius followed him up towards the dormitory stairs. James was clearly more drunk than he was.

“Listen, lad.” James said, placing a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “You need to find Remus and talk this through. I can’t have you two avoiding each other for much longer. Go find him. For me? Okay? Okay. Good.”

“You’re fun when you’re drunk, Prongs.” Sirius grinned. “I’ll make this right.”

James, as drunk as he might be, was right. Sirius ran a hand through his overgrown hair, checked his reflection in the window, then fished a cigarette from his pocket and went back through the crowd.

As he got closer to the speakers, the volume of chatter, laughter and singing was deafening. He lit his cigarette with his wand, scanned the room - and froze.

On a couch pushed to the back wall sat Regulus, chatting with his friend, Evan. Sirius couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t thought his brother would actually come. A surge of confidence rushed through him as he walked over.

Reg wore a black, elegant suit that complemented him perfectly. He held a drink in his hand and looked up as Sirius approached.

“Reggie!” Sirius said excitedly, slinging an arm over his brother’s shoulders and ruffling his hair.

Regulus rolled his eyes, fixing his hair again.

“Are you having fun?” Sirius asked, smiling.

Regulus nodded and grinned. “You’re drunk.”

“And you aren’t - and that’s a problem. Let’s fix that.”

Sirius rushed off to grab an unopened bottle of firewhisky.

“You said you needed to talk to me.” he said, pouring Regulus a drink. “I’m all ears.”

Regulus and Evan exchanged uneasy glances.

“Don’t worry about it. Have fun tonight. It can wait.” Regulus replied, almost disappointed.

“I’m fiiiine.” Sirius drawled, feeling the world spin slightly. “Have you seen Remus, by the way? I’ve been looking everywhere for him. I need to-”

He stopped cold.

On the opposite wall of the common room, Remus was kissing a Slytherin boy Sirius didn’t recognize.

 The whole room seemed to freeze for him; only Remus and the boy were moving. Sirius could hear his own heartbeat, feel every breath. He felt the air leave his lungs, as if someone had just yanked the breath out of him. Then he blinked, and the scene finally sped back up - laughter, chatter, music.

His stomach twisted. He didn’t even know what he was feeling.

Angry, maybe.

Or relieved.

Or even jealous.

He couldn’t explain it, even to himself.

“Who’s that?” Sirius managed to ask Regulus and Evan.

“Neil Fiddlewood.” Evan replied. “He’s in your year. We invited him - good lad, hope that’s alright.”

Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off them. Remus was smiling - genuinely smiling - as he danced and kissed the boy like nothing else in the world mattered.

“What do you know about him?” Sirius asked, his voice flat.

“He’s smart.” Regulus said. “Brilliant at Defence. Funny, too.”

“He looks like a dork.” Sirius muttered coldly.

“Why does it even bother you?” Regulus laughed.

“It doesn’t. I’m just looking out for my friend.”

“I heard that you two hate each other.” Evan said.

Sirius’ head snapped toward him. Anger flashed across his face. He and Remus were still friends. Maybe not as close as they once were, but still. They didn’t hate each other.

“What did you just say?” he hissed.

The alcohol made it worse - hotter, snappier. He was ready to punch Evan before Regulus laid a calm hand on his chest.

“Take a walk, Sirius.”

Sirius scoffed, threw his hand in the air and walked away.

The noise was piercing his ears. He couldn’t stand it. He felt suffocated.

Without really thinking, he headed straight toward Remus. His steps were slow but determined. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say.

When he was close enough, Neil noticed him first. He turned to Remus.

“Hey,” Sirius said, voice tight, his lips straight. “We need to talk.”

Remus stared at him for a moment - just for a moment - his eyes locking on Sirius and nowhere else.

“Let’s go somewhere quieter.” Remus said finally, shoving his hands in his pockets.

They walked in silence. A few people turned to watch, whispering. Sirius’ chest burned. He hated being the subject of gossip once again.

At the foot of the dormitory stairs, Remus sat one step higher than Sirius. The music was still audible, but softer now.

“Who was that?” Sirius demanded.

“Neil. He’s a… friend.” Remus grinned faintly.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “How well do you know him?”

“Met him today. What’s your point, Sirius?”

“You don’t even know him and you’re already snogging him?”

Remus chuckled. “Since when do you care who I snog?”

“You’re my friend, Remus. I always care. You’re the one who’s shut me out time and time again.”

“Yeah, you’re sooo right, Sirius.” Remus said with irony in his voice. “I’m sooo sorry for hurting your enormously large ego. Next time, maybe tell the whole school I’m a werewolf again. Not just Snivellus.” His voice rose.

Sirius opened his mouth, ready to fire back. But the words stuck. The hurt in Remus’ eyes hit him like a curse.

“I’ve-” Sirius muttered. “I’ve been apologizing relentlessly. I don’t know how to fix this, Moony. I don't know-”

Remus lifted up his palm, closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Better. You need to-”

Before either of them could say another word, the sound of someone shouting for Remus shattered the air. He was cut off by Lily bursting in, breathless, cheeks flushed.

“Remus?!” she yelled, panicked.

Remus shot Sirius a look and ran toward her. Sirius followed.

“What happened?” Remus asked, grabbing her shoulders softly.

“You’ve gotta come quick. It’s Potter.”

The two boys exchanged glances, and immediately followed Lily. Sirius put out his cigarette and pulled out his wand; ready for anything that may have happened.

In the middle of the common room James was doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach. His face had turned pale, his forehead damp with sweat.

Everyone had gathered in a circle around him.

“Clear out, we’ve got it from here.” Sirius barked, and the crowd scattered.

Now that the scene was clearer, Sirius noticed Regulus trying to lift James up, holding him by the shoulders as Evan was looking and yelling for Peter.

“What happened?” Remus asked Regulus, as he helped lift James up.

“We were just dancing and then he told me he doesn’t feel so well. I think he's just had one too many.” Regulus said, trying to sound reassuring.

They managed to haul him to the dorm with much effort. James didn’t want to be moved. He groaned, shoved - with all the little power he had left - and whined the whole way there.

They laid him on his bed, face down, glasses carefully placed on the nightstand.

“I think… I’m gonna be sick.” James managed, putting his hands on his mouth.

“Reg, fast! Bucket!” Sirius ordered.

Regulus dashed off, yelling ‘Accio bucket!’ down the hall.

Remus placed his hand on James’ back. “Just get it out, mate. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Sirius watched him - that compassion, that gentleness that could undo anyone.

“Pads,” James mumbled weakly. “You know you’re my brother, right?”

“Of course, Prongs.” Sirius said softly, smiling. “And you are mine.” 

Just as he said these words, Regulus returned. He stopped mid step, with a bucket on one hand and his wand on the other. His mouth remained slightly open for a bit, his eyes darkened as he heard those words.

“Reg-” Sirius began. “I didn’t mean it like that -”

But Regulus was already gone. He set the bucket down hard and left, slamming the door behind him.

Sirius buried his face in his hands, trying to snap away from the situation. James was retching, as Remus was quietly holding the bucket steady.

“You okay, Sirius?” Remus asked gently.

“I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. “I’m trying my best and still failing at everything - with my family, with Reg, with you.”

James started snoring.

“You’re not failing me.” Remus said softly, placing the bucket on the floor. He took out his wand, pointing it at the bucket and his hands. “Scourgify (*). I’ve been an arse.”

He reached out, resting his hands on Sirius’s forearms, lowering them gently. Sirius felt his warmth calm him - that touch, soft and grounding.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, Moony.” Sirius whispered, his hands still on top of Remus’.

Remus simply smiled, slowly taking his hands off. “I think I forgive you, Pads.”

It was the first time he’d called him Pads since the prank. That word loosened something deep in Sirius’ chest.

Suddenly, James opened his eyes gently and let out a groan. “My stomach hurts.”

“Where is Pete?” Remus asked. “He’s the best healer among us.”

“Can you go get him? I saw him snogging a Hufflepuff earlier.”

Remus left the room and Sirius sat beside James. “How are you, mate?”

“Spectacular.” James slurred, grinning. He looked like the drunkest man alive.

“Even when you’re drunk as a skunk, you’re still a ridiculously funny bloke.” Sirius chuckled.

“Have I ever told you,” he mumbled, half-asleep and half-drunk, “How beautiful Regulus is?”

Chapter Text

Date: 5 September 1976

James

James was in deep slumber. His dreams, especially after drinking, were always interesting. But this one was… unexpected, to say the least.

“James Potter is appointed as the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain!” McGonagall’s voice rang out across the Great Hall.

Roars erupted from the Gryffindor table; everyone was clapping and cheering for James. Pride bloomed in his chest as his friends pulled him into a series of hugs and hearty backslaps.

McGonagall cleared her throat just once, and the whole Great Hall fell instantly silent. Everyone knew better than to push their luck with her.

Suddenly, the dream shifted.

James found himself on the Quidditch Pitch. The Gryffindor team stood in scarlet gear, gathered around him, waiting for instructions. But before he could speak, the Slytherin team burst onto the pitch.

“We’ve booked the pitch for our practice, Potter.” Mulciber, the Slytherin Captain, hissed under his breath.

Behind him, stood the rest of his team, each holding the newest and fastest broom model - the Comet 220. Marlene - the newest member of James’ team - looked furious and ready to punch Mulciber square in the face.

“No way.” James said firmly. “We cleared it with McGonagall yesterday. We’ve got the field for an hour. Come back later.”

“No shot. We need extra training with our new brooms - kindly donated by a family member of one of our own.” Mulciber pointed at Regulus. “We’ve got a permission slip from Slughorn. Here, see for yourself.” he sneered.

Mulciber thrust the parchment into James’s hand. Defeated, James sighed and motioned for his team to leave, the Gryffindors muttering in irritation as they trudged off the field.

The dream shifted again.

Now James was alone in the changing room, carefully tidying his gear.

“Got a minute, Potter?” a soft voice asked.

Regulus leaned casually against the doorframe, a faint grin on his lips. That small smile made James’ stomach flip.

“S-sure.” James stammered, instinctively fixing his hair, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

Regulus took a few slow, measured steps towards him, a sly smile all across his lips. James felt strangely intimidated. Regulus’ gaze met his. Not with the usual chill of disdain or the hint of sadness James remembered, but something else entirely.

And Merlin, he looked beautiful. His grey eyes gleamed in the soft light of the room and his dark hair glowed like midnight - mysterious and calm. James’s throat tightened; his palms were damp. He’d never felt like this before. His cheeks flushed as Regulus drew closer -

And then he woke up.

What in Merlin’s name was that? Why had dreaming about Regulus made him feel… that way? It wasn’t as though Regulus was his type. He was quiet, withdrawn. Nothing like the kind of person James would fancy.

Just a silly teenage dream. Nothing more, nothing less. James decided to brush it off.

He groaned as the morning light blasted into his eyes, his head pounding. His pillow was damp with drool and his duvet had somehow fallen to the floor. Last night had been a blur. He remembered fragments of dancing and having a relatively good time. Though, he mostly remembered feeling sick and vomiting.

He lifted his head and noticed the other three beds were empty.

“What time even is it?” he muttered.

He rubbed his face with his hands and turned towards the clock. Nearly one in the afternoon. Brilliant. He’d overslept - probably. He couldn’t even remember when he’d gone to bed; only vague flashes of being half-dragged up to the dormitory by… someone. Sirius, probably. He’d need him to fill out the details.

He reached for the blank piece of parchment from his bedside drawer and squinted at it, trying to focus. His wand was nowhere in sight. Everything looked blurry.

Where in Merlin’s beard were his glasses?

Ah - there they were, settled on the nightstand, though, smudged with fingerprints. Typical.

“Only Remus would have been so meticulous.” He thought with a small smile.

So, Remus and someone else had carried him up here. Slowly, the puzzle pieces clicked into place. Beside the glasses, sat his wand.

“Thank Merlin,” he muttered, sliding his glasses on. “I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.”

The first name he noticed on the blooming map was Regulus’. He was in the Clocktower Courtyard with Pandora Rosier. James didn’t know her well but from what he’d heard, she was a pretty weird witch - always experimenting and usually blowing something up. James froze for a moment, watching their two names pace back and forth across the courtyard.

Why did he even care?

He didn’t. Obviously.

He instantly scanned the map for his friends. Bingo! Remus was in the library with Evans. He could head there, but they were probably studying. A few scans later he found Peter and Sirius on the Grant Staircase - on their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

“Mischief Managed.” he muttered.

With that, James decided to stay in bed until they arrived. They’d drag him out eventually. He buried his face in the pillow, setting his dirty glasses beside the map, trying to ignore his headache.

He half-expected the door to creak open any second - it always did when he tried to sleep in.

A few moments later, he heard Peter laughing from across the stairs. The door opened slowly. They were checking if he was asleep.

“I’m awake.” James groaned.

Peter pushed the door open and smiled.

“G’morning sleepyhead. How you feeling?” he teased.

Sirius followed behind him, his face unreadable. But James knew him too well; one look, and he could tell something had gone wrong last night. Peter, of course, hadn’t noticed.

“You won’t guess what happened yesterday!” Peter plopped down on James’ bed, grinning from ear to ear.

James sat up and glanced at Sirius, who settled on the other side of the bed.

“Let the man rest, Wormy!” Sirius said with a fake smile. “I’m sure he’s dying to hear about your snogging activities after a shower. You stink, Prongs.”

James’ eyes widened. “Wait, wait. Let’s rewind a bit.” He rubbed his temples, closed his eyes. “Who snogged who?”

Peter and Sirius exchanged evil grins. James knew that look.

“No.” he said firmly. “You’re not giving me whatever concoction you’ve brewed. I’m certainly not hungover. Perfectly fine! Totally healthy.” He forced a grin and tried to stand up.

They both burst out laughing.

“C’mon, Pads. Give it to him.” Peter laughed. “No, but seriously. I think I’ve nailed it this time. I learned from my mistakes - last time I put too much Mandrake. This one’ll clear your headache in no time.” Peter sounded sincere.

Last year, during another legendary party, Peter had started experimenting with hangover cures using Herbology. Unfortunately, his early attempts induced vomiting and fever. James had been the test subject. Not fun. Not at all. He’d spend all day in the infirmary.

Sirius reached into his back pocket, pulled out a sealed green bottle, and transfigurated it to a glass. The color was not as bad as last year. It was still dark brown, but this time it wasn’t bubbling or smelling funny.

“I hate both of you.” James muttered, taking the glass.

With one big gulp, he downed most of it. The taste was… pleasant?

“Is this peppermint-flavoured?” he asked, slowly feeling his headache fading away.

“Yup!” Peter beamed, clearly proud of himself. “Secret recipe. We’ll have to monitor you for at least two hours. Just to make sure there aren’t any side effects.”

Sirius chucked and shook his head.

“Brilliant, Wormtail! I think I’m actually starting to feel better!” James said. “Now, spill it. Who snogged who?”

Sirius smiled and rolled his eyes. “He won’t stop talking about it. Go ahead, Wormy.”

“Me and Jane Smith from Hufflepuff!” Peter said excitedly. “She’s in my Herbology class. Yesterday, we started talking about Dittany, and then one thing led to another… and y’know.” he rubbed the back of his neck, grinning. “She’s brilliant, actually. She was the one to suggest I put a small amount of Dittany to the ‘hungover cure’. I’m meeting her in a bit at the astronomy tower.”

James couldn’t help but smile. Peter was an amazing and caring friend. It was surprising, though, that he - out of all the Marauders - was the first to get a girlfriend. But James was genuinely happy for him.

“Damn, Wormy.” James said with a grin. “Good for you, mate. We ought to meet her sometime. Make sure she’s good for you.”

“Yeah, sure. Ah, shit, gotta run. Padfoot, can you stay here and watch over him? Thanks!”

Peter checked his reflection in the window, fixed his hair and jogged out.

As soon as the door closed, Sirius’ facade collapsed.

“What happened yesterday, Pads?” James asked quietly.

“A lot of things, mate.”

“How’s Remus? Did you two talk? Did he not forgive you? Tell me everything.”

Sirius took a deep breath. “He said he thinks he’s ready to forgive me.”

“So why the long face? That’s amazing news, Pads!”

“Yeah, well… Yesterday he was snogging a Slytherin lad. Neil Fiddlewhatever. You know him?”

“Not personally, no.” James frowned. “Why does that bother you, Sirius?”

For a split second, James imagined the unthinkable. Was Sirius - his best friend - bigoted?

“Sirius…” he said slowly, his tone sharp.

“Merlin, Prongs! It’s not that. Of course not. It’s just… how well does Moony know that guy?”

“That didn’t seem to bother you with Jane and Wormy, did it now?”

“I don’t know, okay?” Sirius’ voice rose. “It just bothers me. Even if he was snogging Evans, it would bother me. And I don’t even know why!” he stood, pacing up and down the dorm.

“Oi, mate.” James tried to stand but felt dizzy. “Slow down and come sit.”

“There’s something else you should know about yesterday. It’s about my brother.”

James froze. What the hell happened last night? He didn’t dare interrupt.

“Okay.” Sirius let out a sigh. “Firstly, he wants to talk to us - both of us - about something important. Well… he wanted to. I don’t know what he’ll want now.” He hesitated. “I said something incredibly stupid.”

“I’m listening.”

“You were drunk out of your mind, and you told me I was like a brother to you-”

“You are. I thought you already knew that…” James interrupted.

“Let me finish.” He’d stopped pacing and started out the window “I told you that you are my brother too. And Reg heard that. After that, he fled running. He is my brother, James, my blood. There is no changing that. And you know it. And now, I can’t bring myself to talk to him. I feel terrible. What do I even say to him? Remus was also there when that happened, and he was strangely supportive of the whole ordeal.”

“Fuck… we struck the worst nerve possible.” James whispered, lowering his head.

“Oh and on top of that, you said something ever more absurd!” Sirius gave a bitter laugh. “You told me - and I quote - ‘Have I ever told you how beautiful Regulus is?’.”

What?

Why on Merlin’s name would he say that? Sure, Regulus is an objectively beautiful person, but James didn’t fancy him or anything. That was ridiculous.

Right?

He fell back onto his pillow, stunned. First the dream, and now this. Something wasn’t right.

James didn’t know what to say.

“Yup. Everything’s just perfect, isn’t it?” Sirius muttered, reaching for a cigarette.

James was speechless. He didn’t know what to ask first; how to console his friend; how to help him. He took a deep breath, determined to fix this.

“Let’s take it one problem at a time.” He said, getting up and joining Sirius by the window. Peter’s elixir seemed to work wonders.

“Let’s find Remus.” James added.

Sirius turned his head, desperation in his gaze. “And say what, exactly?”

“Maybe we can solve one problem with another.”

“Fine. But after you take a shower.” A smirk tugged at Sirius’ lips.

James smiled and left the window.

“Hey, Prongs,” Sirius called softly. “I’m really worried about Reg…” 

“We’ll make sure everything is alright. Promise.”

⛤⛤⛤

A shower was well needed. James relaxed as the steam filled the room. His thoughts slowly began to quiet. Peter’s elixir was magic - within minutes, the hangover was gone. His memory of last night, though, was still blurry.

Finding Remus was easy. Getting him alone, without Evans, was tricky. They were still in the library studying together. Sirius and James decided that was a problem for later.

They reached the library in no time. And to no surprise to anyone, Remus was nose-deep in a Charms book while Evans scribbled furiously on a parchment.

James jumped onto the table where they worked.

“Hey, Moony!” James whispered, though his voice echoed across the quiet room.

“Shhhh!” Lily shot him a wary gaze. “Can’t you see we’re studying, Potter?”

“It’s the first week of school. You need to take it easy, Evans.” James winked. “Anyways, we need Moony for a bit.”

Remus looked at James and then straight at Sirius - who was standing a few steps behind James. He closed his book and stood up.

“I’ll be right back.” He muttered.

“No way. I’m coming with.” Lily insisted.

“I’m afraid there are no girls allowed. Sorry, Evans.” James smirked.

Lily rolled her eyes and linked arms with Remus as they left the library.

The four of them walked out of the library silently but quickly. They reached the Transfiguration Courtyard, found an empty bench and sat.

“Look, Evans,” James began. “It’s not that we don’t want you here. It’s just Marauder's business.”

“I know about Remus, if that’s what you want to talk about.” She said confidently.

Sirius and James blinked.

“What? Since when?” Sirius finally asked.

“She figured it out.” Remus said simply. “The next moon is in three weeks, though. What’s up?”

“Look, Moony.” James whispered to Remus. “We may need your help. With Reg. It’d be best if Evans wasn’t here.”

“She won’t snitch.” Remus said, louder now. “And she’s proven she gives spectacular advice on that kind of stuff. I think we can let her stay.” 

James shrugged. “It’s Pads’ choice.”

Lily crossed her arms, awaiting for Sirius’ response.

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, wiping his sweaty palms on his robes before speaking. “Regulus hates me. You saw how he reacted yesterday, Moony. Before that, we were okay. And I messed up again…”

“He said he wanted to talk to me and Sirius yesterday. It may be something serious. No pun intended.” James tried to help Sirius explain.

Lily stopped them. “Are the rumors true?”

The three boys turned their heads.

“What… rumors?” Sirius said almost too quietly.

Lily explained thoroughly about the whispers of what had happened over the summer. The most heard was that Regulus wanted Sirius gone and that maybe he even helped their parents disown him. She explained though, that she didn’t believe that.

For the first time, James noticed how compassionate Lily really was. He hadn’t expected her to sound so kind. While explaining, her voice was gentle, and her words were eloquent and carefully chosen.

“What really happened this summer, Sirius?” Remus asked gently, placing a hand on Sirius’ knee.

James could tell Sirius didn’t want to have this conversation. Especially not with Evans there. But something in him knew that if Sirius started to open up, he’d feel much better.

“As you know,” Sirius began, staring at the ground. “My parents are cruel, evil people. They wanted me to get the Dark Mark. I didn’t. I left. Simple as that. Regulus couldn’t leave. He’s not the one to blame for any of it.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Bloody hell. Are you okay, Sirius?”

Sirius shrugged. “I’ll live. But that’s not important. How do I approach Reg?”

“He doesn’t hate you, Padfoot. He’s just… hurt. But I can ask Neil to help you meet alone.” Remus tried to smile.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Sirius shrugged again.

James could see he was still bothered by Remus’ new ‘boyfriend’.

“We need to meet this Neil.” James said with a grin.

“I agree.” Lily added. “I was way too drunk yesterday to actually meet him.”

“Can we focus on my problem again, please?” Sirius whined. “How soon can you arrange it, Moony?” he turned to Remus, his hand still on Sirius’ knee.

“Today.” Remus replied. “Give me the map and meet me back here in an hour.”

“What map?” Lily asked, curiosity filled her voice.

The boys traded glances.

“I’ll tell you later.” Remus replied.

“C’mon, Moony!” Sirius whined. “We can’t let her in on all our secrets!”

Remus chuckled.

James handed him the map, stood, and rested a hand on Sirius’ back. “We’ll make sure Regulus is okay.” He reassured him.

Sirius nodded, but didn’t look convinced.

Chapter Text

Date: 5 September 1976

Remus

Remus’ job was simple enough: find Neil and help Sirius however he could.

The night of the party was a surreal experience for him. He couldn’t quite process everything that had happened.

Neil had been… unexpected. They had exchanged a few words before - polite nods in the corridor and brief smiles in the library. They first met there a few years back, cramming for the end-of-year exams. Remus had been reaching for a specific textbook - Arithmancy, probably - while Neil was standing there, scanning the shelf. After that, they’d occasionally crossed paths, shared a few greetings and nothing more.

But last night, Neil approached him. Maybe he’d sensed Remus’ usual reluctance, that quiet discomfort with crowds. Whatever the reason, he started talking. And he talked easily - too easily, maybe. Remus wasn’t used to people like that. But he liked listening. He liked the sound of Neil’s voice, bright and certain in a way his own never was. He told him about himself; a half-blood from Yorkshire with a Muggle mother who’d fallen in love with a wizard without knowing who he truly was. He also bragged, a little, about his Defence skills and his unbeaten record in duels. Cocky, perhaps, but not unpleasantly so. There was a charm in his self-assurance.

Then, the alcohol had taken control of Remus’ emotions and actions. Drunk, he became a different person; chatty, bold, full of reckless energy. In that haze, the world seemed small enough to conquer. And for a moment, that world was Neil’s lips.

Remus had always known he fancied boys. Even as a child, he’d caught himself crushing on his Muggle school friends, and doing what others called ‘girly things’ such as knitting or playing dress up with his mother. It is what it is, he’d always told himself.

He hadn’t been sure Neil was even interested, though. But, he’d ought to find out one way or another; even if that meant rejection.

So, as they danced, he’d moved a little closer. And Neil had done the same.

“Can I kiss you?” Neil had finally asked, just as ‘Mamma Mia’ blared from the speakers. 

For a heartbeat, Remus forgot the moon, forgot everything waiting outside of this moment. There was only Neil, standing close enough to feel real, and a quiet force drawing him in.

Neil was surely an interesting bloke - shorter than Remus, but handsome in a way that made you want to stare. Loose strawberry-blonde curls fell across his forehead, and behind round glasses, his eyes were a deep, stormy blue - mysterious, almost electric. A long scar ran from his eyebrow down across his eye, splitting it in half; a story Remus didn’t yet dare to ask about. He wouldn’t have liked it if Neil had asked about his, either.

Their night, though, had ended abruptly because of Sirius. His reconciliation with him had been a fresh breath of relief. The anger hadn’t vanished entirely, but Remus had missed his best friend. Once he’d learned the truth about Sirius’ summer, his grudge had begun to feel petty. Now, what mattered was helping him.

Remus had taken the map from James, pulled out his wand, and shot Lily a quick warning look, as they walked away from James and Sirius.

“That isn’t a map, Remus.” Lily joked condescendingly. “That’s a piece of parchment.”

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.” he murmured, smiling faintly. “Can you keep just one more secret?”

Lily gasped as the map started appearing.

“Just go with this. I’ll explain later.” Remus added.

He scanned the map, trying to find Neil.

“There!” Lily exclaimed, pointing outside the Potions classroom.

Lily was brilliant, as always - no hesitation, no questions asked, just ready to help.

“Mischief managed.” Remus whispered, tucking the parchment into his back pocket.

They nearly sprinted through the castle.

“That would be SO useful in our first year.” Lily laughed.

But Remus didn’t reply.

“What’s the matter, Remus?” she asked, concern creeping in her voice.

“I really want to help Sirius,” he admitted, exhaling. “I’m thrilled we’re good again, but… I barely know Neil. How am I supposed to ask him something like this? Isn’t it too much?”

“Whoa, slow down there.” Lily chuckled. “You’re not asking him to marry you or anything. You’re just asking him to help Sirius meet Regulus.”

Lily was very reassuring. She was right, of course; not a big deal. Even if he wasn’t his boyfriend, yet, it was just a simple favour from a ‘friend’.

No big deal.

They reached the dungeons - and luck was on their side. Neil was just about to step through the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

“Go. I’ll wait here.” Lily whispered.

Remus nodded and chased after Neil, trying to catch him before he could enter the common room.

“Neil!” he called.

Neil turned his head, that wide smile spread across his face. It was contagious; Remus felt his stomach twist with something warm and stupid.

“Hello!” Neil greeted.

Remus could feel his heart pounding, maybe from running, maybe from the nerves.

“Hey.” he managed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Did you-er-have fun last night? Sorry I disappeared. My best friend was-”

“No need to apologize, Remus.” Neil interrupted, still smiling. “All good.”

“Oh, right. Of course. I-I didn’t mean-” Remus started again.

“Chill out, mate.” he placed a hand on Remus’ shoulder.

Just his touch was enough to calm the jittery chaos in Remus’ chest.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Neil said then. “On the first weekend of October, there’s a Hogsmeade trip. Want to go together? Y’know, as a date?”

Remus couldn’t help but smile. Neil was so sure of himself. He always knew what to say.

“I’d love that, actually!” Remus said excitedly, then hesitated. “But… Can I ask for a favor first?”

“Anything.”

“You’re friends with Regulus Black, right?”

Neil nodded.

“Can you tell him to meet Sirius and James on the Clocktower Courtyard after lunch? Alone. I’d ask him myself, but… it’s complicated. I think he’s mad at Sirius and-”

“No need to explain,” Neil said easily. “I’ll help. I’m the man for the job. I’ll make sure Reg is on time.”

“I just mean… he might need some convincing.”

Neil chuckled, glanced down the empty corridor, then leaned closer. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered.

Remus nodded, took a step forward and leaned down - just slightly. The kiss was quick but charged. Remus’ fingers brushed against the back of his neck before Neil pulled away.

“I’d better get to it,” Neil said, grinning. “See you in a bit?”

Remus nodded, smiling back as he turned to leave. But Neil caught his hand.

“We should hang out more,” he said softly. “I’d like to get to know you better.”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Remus walked back to where Lily was waiting, a silly smile painted across his face. He really liked Neil, even if he didn’t know him that well. He knew that he was intelligent and a very good friend. And that was all that mattered for the time being.

⛤⛤⛤

They found Sirius and James exactly where they’d left them - sitting side by side playing a round of Exploding Snap. Peter had joined too, pacing in front of them, talking animatedly. He looked cheerful, smiling wide and gesturing as he spoke.

“After lunch.” Remus interrupted.

All three turned toward him, but Sirius was on his feet in an instant, eagerness painted across his face

“What?” Sirius demanded. “Will Regulus be there?”

“Neil said he’ll convince him.” Remus smiled. “I trust him.”

“Thanks, Moony.” Sirius mumbled, lowering his head.

Remus could read it in his body language - Sirius wanted to sling an arm around his shoulders, to clap him on the back, just like the old times. But he hesitated. Both of them did. They pretended not to notice the lingering look between them, eyes locked as if time itself had frozen between them.

“Did you hear about Wormy’s new achievement?” James asked proudly.

James launched into the story, with plenty of interruptions from Peter trying to correct the details - but Remus wasn’t really listening. His gaze kept slowly drifting towards Sirius’ striking blue eyes. He looked… almost relieved; almost like his old, goofy self. Even a shy smile played on his lips as James joked around. For a moment, everything felt normal again.

⛤⛤⛤

They swallowed their lunch quickly. From his seat, between Lily and Peter, with Sirius and James across, Remus could see the Slytherin table. Between bites, he glanced up at Neil and Regulus, sitting opposite of each other. They were talking quietly, hardly touching their food. Whatever Neil was saying, Regulus’ face remained still, unreadable. Just a few nods, a few whispered replies. But Remus trusted Neil. He’d convince Regulus. He had to.

“Remus?” Lily elbowed him.

“Huh?!” Remus blinked, shaking his head.

“Sirius asked you a question.” she said, gesturing to Sirius.

Remus turned his head to him, whose eyebrows were raised, awaiting for an answer.

“I’m trying to convince Padfoot to try out for the Quidditch team.” James explained. “He asked what you think?”

It was such a simple question - ordinary, even - but the air between them made it feel heavier. A year ago, this would’ve been a normal everyday conversation. Now, they were all still learning how to act normal again. And everyone tried their best. It was a pleasant surprise though. Probably, James was trying to get Sirius’ mind off of Regulus.

“Uhm… yeah.” Remus said, stuffing another bite of food in his mouth. “You’d be an amazing asset for the team, Pads.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for years!!!” James grinned, bumping softly on Sirius’ shoulder. “Thanks, Moony.” he added with a wink.

James was clever when he wanted to be. He knew Sirius better than anyone. And he knew exactly when to pull him back to solid ground.

“Okay, question.” Lily began suddenly.

“Oh no.” James groaned.

“Why the nicknames? I mean, sure - Remus is Moony. It’s pretty self-explanatory. But what’s up with yours?” she asked, looking straight at Peter, hoping he’d crack first.

“We are not telling you any more of our secrets!” Peter whined, crossing his arms in protest.

They all laughed, as Lily crossed her arms, defeated.

As Remus laughed, he noticed Regulus and Neil standing up from their table. Neil caught his eye and raised his brows. It was time.

“Ready, Sirius?” Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. His smile had already faded, his face unreadable again. His mood shifted so quickly - it always unsettled Remus.

“Let’s go, then.” Remus said, standing. “Just us, sorry Lily.”

Lily smiled understandingly as they left. She always did; it warmed Remus’ heart.

They walked in silence most of the way there, aside from James and Peter’s low whispers behind them. They weren't joking around this time - but Remus wasn’t sure quiet murmurs helped Sirius either.

Regulus was waiting by the Clock Tower Entrance, slightly leaning against the frame - too calm, too collected. Sirius took a few hesitant steps before stopping and turning to James.

“Prongs…” he said softly. “I think it’d be best if I go alone.”

James nodded and slipped his hands into his pockets. The three of them let Sirius deal with his brother, as they sat on a nearby sill. They were silent for a moment, all keeping an eye on the two brothers. They couldn’t hear what was being said; Sirius’ posture was tense, and Regulus’ face, as always, gave nothing away.

Footsteps approached from behind them.

Neil.

“Hello, everyone!” he said cheerfully, being his kind self. “I’m Neil Fiddlewood.”

“James Potter.” James said, shaking his hand with a grin. “Pleasure.”

“Peter Pettigrew.” Peter added quickly.

“So… how’s it going over there?” he asked, taking a seat next to Remus.

Remus felt his heartbeat quicken, his shoulders tense up as his breath slowed.

“Dunno,” James said. “Maybe we ought to let them sort it out themselves.”

“As if you could leave them alone, Prongs.” Peter teased.

“James has a habit of intervening where he isn’t needed.” Remus explained.

James opened his mouth, a small smirk tugging his lips.

“It’s not my fault I have the heart of a lion.” He pressed a hand to his chest dramatically and bowed with an exaggerated grace.

Neil chuckled, clearly entertained.

“So,” James said, glancing sideways at him. “I’ve heard you’re brilliant at Defence.”

“Indeed.” Neil replied with a modest smile. “I love duelling, actually. It’s amazing what we’re truly capable of with magic. And it’s incredibly fun. We should duel sometime.”

“I agree.” James smiled, though his eyes were fixed on Sirius.

Sirius and Regulus were walking toward them now - both pale, both shaken.

“I need to talk to you, Potter.” Regulus said quietly.

“Reg…” Sirius laid his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Maybe it’s better to tell all of them.”

Regulus exhaled slowly, his voice low but steady as he explained the unimaginable. When Sirius had told them earlier what his parents had done, Remus had feared Regulus might be next. And unfortunately, he was right. Orion and Walburga were forcing the Dark Mark on Regulus. His hands trembled slightly as he spoke, and Remus caught a flicker of fear in his eyes.

Fifteen years old, Remus thought. He’s only fifteen.

Everyone was stunned, shaken. 

“W-what…?” James’ stammered. “H-how soon, Regulus?”

Regulus hesitated. He closed his eyes. “Spring break.” he replied coldly.

Remus swallowed hard.

“I’ll figure something out.” James said, standing abruptly. “I’m not letting this happen. I helped Sirius - I’ll help you too. Mark my words.” he said, his hands curling into fists.

“We’ll find a way nobody gets hurt.” Peter finally said, determined.

Peter’s eyes were filled with disgust and fear, his mouth slightly open and his eyebrows raised. Remus had not seen him so tense before, so agitated.

“Fuck…” Neil murmured. “Whatever you’re planning, count me in.”

Regulus smiled faintly - but bitterly - as he looked around, a thin aura of hope flickering around him.

“Thank you.” he said faintly. “Just… don’t do anything irrational." He looked at James and Sirius. “I mean it.”

James and Sirius nodded in unison.

“We need to start brainstorming ideas.” Peter said. “Meet again here next Saturday? We’ll all be calmer by then. And able to think straight.”

They all nodded as Sirius pulled a cigarette from his pocket.

“I need a walk.” Sirius said coldly.

He started walking away, and James jogged after him. Peter stood, as if to follow them. For a moment, Remus felt he should join too, but James turned his head, lifted up his hand dismissively and mouthed ‘Later’.

Peter turned to Remus, waiting for guidance.

“James knows best.” Remus said, trying to sound reassuring. “We’ll find them later, Wormtail.”

Peter exhaled and plopped back onto the ledge.

“I must be going as well.” Regulus adjusted his robes. “See you around.”

The three of them were all that remained. The silence felt awkward. Peter was definitely scared and overthinking things. He always had a habit of complicating things in his mind. But this time, things were actually complicated; dangerous. More dangerous than hanging around with a werewolf. War was closing in, step by step. Peter had every right to be afraid.

“We’ll get him out of this, Pete.” Remus said.

“Yeah…” Peter forced a smile.

From the corner of his eyes Remus noticed Neil turning to leave, head lowered, hands in his pockets. He was definitely thinking about what he’d just signed up for. Remus suddenly felt guilty for involving him. This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t safe.

“Pete, I’ll meet you in the common room later.” Remus said, hurrying after Neil.

The autumn air brushed against his face as he ran. He caught Neil by the hand - just as he had done that morning.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Neil gasped, but then smiled.

“I thought you wanted to discuss things with your friend. I know when I’m not needed.” he said with a smile. Not in a self-loathing kind of way, just honesty.

“No, no.” Remus began. “I can talk to Peter later. Look, I’m sorry you got dragged into this. You can just-”

“Remus,” Neil interrupted. “You think I offered to help out of necessity? Regulus is my friend. And, honestly, Hogwarts is kinda boring without some action.”

Neil smiled, and his eyes shone. He was telling the truth; Remus could see that.

“Still, Neil… it’s probably not going to be easy. If you want out-”

“Remus,” he chuckled. “If we’re going to help Reg, you’re going to have to trust me. And not jump to conclusions about me. Deal?”

Remus let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. “Deal.”

“Brilliant. Want me to walk you to your common room?”

“Sure!” Remus agreed.

As they walked, they couldn’t stop talking. Neil started again, asking him questions about everything - about his family, his hobbies, his favourite subjects. When Remus talked, Neil’s eyes stayed fixed on him, absorbing every word. He asked thoughtful questions. He joked. He made Remus laugh.

Remus felt seen. Like his story mattered. Neil made him feel like the center of the world. And just for just a few moments, Remus felt himself falling for him.

“So,” Neil asked as the moving staircase paused. “For the million Galleon question: What do you want to do when you get out of here?”

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t know. His future was not guaranteed. Hogwarts was the safest place left in the world for someone like him.

“I haven’t got a clue, honestly. I haven’t really thought about it much.” he lied.

Neil raised a brow and smirked. “From what I learned today, that does not sound like you. I could be mistaken, though.”

Fuck. 

He really was intelligent. He saw right through him.

“I just mean…” Remus hesitated. “I haven’t decided yet. I like loads of things. So, how about you?”

“That’s more like it. Personally, I think being an Auror is the best job possible. I want action, magic, law. I want to help the wizarding world by chasing the bad guys.” he laughed at the last part.

The stairs started moving again, now heading toward the Gryffindor Common Room.

“I think you’d be great.” Remus said, smiling as they stepped off.

In front of the Fat Lady’s Portrait, Neil paused.

“Before you leave,” Neil said, flattening his lips. “One last question. And be honest.” 

Remus swallowed.

“Were you guys the culprits behind that prank with Peeves at the end of last term?”

Remus chuckled and nodded.

“How did you manage it? I’ve tried getting on Peeves’ good side for ages!” Neil whined.

“You have to be a prankster in order to charm one. Also, a magician never reveals their secrets.”

Neil laughed, his eyes darting left and right. Students were walking past, up and down the stairs.

“Not here.” Remus advised. “See you later.” He took Neil’s hand and squeezed - gently, fondly, in a way that said more than words or a kiss could have.

He let go, turned to the portrait, and whispered. “Lioness’ Courage.”

The Fat Lady bowed slightly, and Remus stepped inside.

Chapter Text

Date: 16 September 1976

Regulus

Regulus hadn’t slept properly in days. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind wandered straight back to the same place: the future he wasn’t sure he even wanted. 

A few days earlier, he’d received a letter from ‘Mommy Dearest’ - as Sirius liked to call her. It wasn’t pleasant. 

“Regulus,

The Dark Lord met with our family; most specifically with Bella. He’s very fond of her. We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Him ourselves yet. But all in due time. Bellatrix wants you to meet Him soon. Your father thinks it best you return home for a couple of weeks. Surely your lessons can wait. We’ll send you more letters soon.

Mum.”

Walburga’s perfect cursive letters cut straight through Regulus’ neck, tightening like a muzzle around his throat. The moment he finished reading, the parchment combusted at once; curling into ash before he could even breathe. The burnt paper filled his dorm with its bitter smoke. He’d made sure he was alone; he needed to be alone for this.

Regulus’ friends didn’t know about his family's matters. He didn’t want them to. Sirius and his friends were enough witnesses to his misery. And besides, his own friends were trapped in the same shit - sons of the same old families, bound to the same fate. What help could they offer?

Only Pandora knew about his predicament. She was his gateway to something resembling normal - although ‘normal’ was the last word anyone would use for Pandora Rosier. Loony, yes. But her oddness was a relief.

Quidditch was his other refuge. Flying, diving, and drills that left him breathless - those made sense. Being Slytherin’s Seeker meant every game rested on his shoulders. He liked that. As Seeker, he didn’t have to depend on anyone else. It was just him, the sky, and the Snitch.

Of course, his parents had managed to complicate even that. They’d bought the entire team the newest broom model. Regulus knew exactly what that meant; his parents never gifted anything without expecting something in return. The team was thrilled, obviously. But Regulus couldn’t enjoy it. Sure, they could have a real chance at winning the championship this year, but what was the point if he wouldn’t be around to celebrate with them?

Besides, he didn’t need anything from them. Sirius had bought him the broom for his birthday.

Sirius…

Regulus’ chest ached just at the thought of him.

Sirius had replaced him in a heartbeat. James Potter thought of Sirius as a brother now - and Sirius clearly returned the sentiment.

Regulus had every right to be upset. Sirius didn’t care about him anymore. The moment he escaped Grimmauld Place, he ran straight to the Potters’ doorstep.

Except… that wasn’t entirely true. Sirius had explained everything last week - everything that happened at the party.

“Reg…” he’d said, eyes fixed on the floor. “You’ll always be my little brother. Nothing’s changing that.”

But Sirius’ composure had shattered the moment Regulus told him the news. His blue eyes widened, his shoulders tensed up as he held his breath. For a moment, fear flashed across his face; the same fear Regulus had seen after the Cruciatus curse months ago. Only after a few silent breaths did Sirius suggest asking for James’ help.

They had all been there. All staring at him. And when he’d finished his story, every one of them had been left breathless.

But they were all eager to help him. Not just because he was Sirius’ brother, but because, in their own ways, they cared. They cared enough to even consider standing between Regulus and his parents.

They’d met again a few days ago, but not a lot of progress had been made. 

“Reg, you can leave Grimmauld Place. Come live with us.” James had said.

But that wasn’t possible. Just as it hadn’t been possible a few months back. 

“If we can’t avoid it,” Peter had said. “Maybe we ought to delay it. For as long as possible.”

Everyone had shifted uneasily in their seats.

“I’ve noticed Dumbledore was absent a lot last year… surely he must be planning something. He must know something is up…” he’d added, reluctant but hopeful.

“We could try learning something from Dumbledore or McGonagall.” Neil had mumbled, tapping slowly on his temple. “Maybe they could help us - but not directly!” his voice had risen with the idea.

So, the plan was set. For the next few weeks, they’d lay low and quietly try to overhear or learn anything from the professors, without getting caught.

Yet, in the back of Regulus’ mind, doubt was already creeping in - as always. What could they possibly know better than him?  Bellatrix was apparently close to Him according to the letter. Regulus could potentially gather more information from her than any overheard staff conversation.

But he hadn’t told anyone about the letter. Not even Sirius. He was afraid. Of what He or his mother could do, if they ever found out.

Regulus twisted and turned in his bed, considering every possible next step. Evan and Barty snored peacefully in their beds. The sun was only just rising, pale orange light filtering through the underwater windows. It was too early for the castle to be awake, but he couldn’t keep still anymore. He needed air. A walk.

He gathered his things, slowly and quietly, then slipped out.

The common room was empty. Pale green light filtered through the murky depths of the Black Lake beyond the windows, softening the shadows of the carved stone walls. The deep emerald velvet armchairs were empty beside the ever-burning orange glow of the fireplace.

Regulus checked the clock; quarter to six. His first class wasn’t until nine. He had plenty of time to clear his head. He sat at a desk by the window, pulled out a fresh parchment and began to draw.

Regulus loved drawing. Back at home, he had a drawer filled to the brim with sketches. He never showed anyone, but he was rather good. He never thought about what he wanted to draw; he simply picked up a quill and let his hand move on its own.

This time, he drew an angry, storm-tossed sea, with a single boat in the distance, fighting to stay afloat. The waves were furious and heavy in deep black strokes, while the small boat was detailed with thin, gentle lines; peaceful in the chaos. As he worked, he felt his mood lighten, his ugly thoughts tucked away.

“You’ve got real talent.”

A voice behind him made him stop mid-stroke.

Regulus instantly turned, crumpling the parchment into a ball.

“Why did you do that?” the voice asked.

It was Neil, still in his pajamas with a mess of morning hair.

“It was not good. Just a… silly sketch.” Regulus muttered.

“It was brilliant.” Neil smiled, taking a seat on the couch. “You mustn’t be so hard on yourself.” 

“Why are you up so early?” Regulus asked, hastily tidying his things.

“I could ask you the same question. But,” he smirked. “I’m hanging out with Remus before class.”

“So… are you two going out or what?”

“Yeah.” Neil’s cheeks flushed. “He’s my boyfriend. We’re very good, actually.”

It was nice seeing Neil happy. And he truly seemed happy this last week. Hanging out with Lupin had done him good.

Neil and Regulus met at a Slytherin duelling competition during Reg's second year. These competitions were organized by students for students - mostly 7th-years - purely for fun and academic purposes. At first, Regulus had only been there to watch the older students duel, when Neil had sat beside him and struck up a conversation. Soon enough, they were both competing. And slowly - between practice sessions and matches - they’d opened up to one another.  Regulus had found himself confiding in him about things that he hadn’t even told Sirius.

Neil’s story was just as complicated as his. He had been through a lot. So seeing him happy now made Regulus smile.

“I’m glad, Neil.” Regulus smiled.

Regulus glanced at the clock once more; ten to seven. He had been drawing for an hour.

“You okay?” Neil asked gently. “I know it all seems hopeless right now… but we’ll figure it out. Promise.”

Neil tried his best to console Regulus. But Reg wasn’t convinced. He exhaled heavily.

“I think I’ll go for a ride, if you don’t mind.” he said.

Flying would help. It always did.

“Yeah, of course. Go ahead. Talk later?”

⛤⛤⛤

Regulus stepped outside, the cold autumn breeze pushing his hair back as he made his way toward the pitch. Only a few students were scattered across the grounds, either heading towards the Great Hall for breakfast or just hanging out under the cloudy sky. Rain fell softly on his head. This gloomy weather always comforted Regulus; he liked the rain, the grayness, the quiet. But it was cold. Colder than it should be for this time of year. Maybe it will snow early this year, Regulus hoped.

He loved the snow. The silence of it. The way it softened everything. How everyone became lighter, goofier.

Maybe he loved it because of Sirius. He vividly remembered one Christmas clearer than the rest. Their parents left them alone - with Kreacher in charge - and Sirius had dragged Regulus outside. Regulus must’ve been around seven or eight years old. They played together, along with some other Muggle kids on the street. Everything seemed so pure back then; just a few kids having fun and enjoying the snow. But when they returned back inside, Sirius had whispered that Mum must never know or she’d ‘get Dragonpox’. That old trick worked then. 

They never went out on the snow again. Maybe this year could be different… maybe not.

Just as expected, the pitch was empty. Not a person in sight. That was what Regulus hoped all along. He grabbed his broom, mounted, and kicked off.

He felt the air slapping him in the face, as he gained speed; feeling every inch of himself come back to life. The speed and feel of his new broom made him smile. He thought of winning the championship. He wanted to win; their team was the best. He wanted to fly away… away from all of it. But he couldn’t. Just like a Quidditch match, he wouldn’t walk away, even if his team was losing by a landslide.

“HEY!!!” a voice cut through the air.

Regulus started to slow down, scanning for the source of the sound.

“Mind if I join you?” the voice called.

He descended just enough to hop off his broom with controlled precision.

It was James Potter, of course - broom in hand, smile infuriatingly bright.

“I’m not doing anything,” Regulus said. “just testing my new broom before the try-outs.” 

“Oh, right! Sirius told me about the Comet!” James beamed. “Can I take it for a spin?”

Regulus didn’t bother replying; he just handed out his broom. He trusted James with it. If anyone would respect the broom, it was James Potter.

James took off immediately, cutting through the air in dives and loops. When he finally landed, he was breathless and grinning.

“That…was brilliant!”

“I know right?” Regulus said, unable to hide his excitement. “Best gift anyone’s ever given me.”

“If I had that broom, I’d ask you to race me. But since you’ve got the fastest broom and you’re probably one of the best Seekers at Hogwarts, I’d rather not lose today.”

“...Was that a compliment, Potter?” Regulus teased.

But Regulus barely ever teased; and he most certainly did not tease anyone other than his friends.

“Maybe it was.” James smirked.

Regulus let out a soft laugh. “Then… thanks.”

“Wanna skip the first period? I’ve got History of Magic with Binns.”

“I have Transfiguration with McGonagall. I don’t want to miss it.”

“I could teach you!” James said, smirking. “I’m brilliant at it. Got an O on my O.W.L.s too.”

Regulus chucked. “Your modesty is astounding, Potter. Truly.”

“Yup.” James said cheerfully, taking Regulus by the arm.

“Where are we even going?” Regulus complained, though he followed anyway.

“You’ll see,” James said with an infuriating wink.

He led him, half-running through the castle, smiling all the way there. Every time Regulus asked where, James just grinned wider. They must have crossed every corridor before Regulus realized where they were.

“Why are we heading to Hagrid’s Hut?” Regulus demanded, slightly annoyed at James’ silence.

“We’re not here to visit my good ol’ friend Hagrid,” James said. “Have patience.”

They walked downhill towards the Black Lake. Regulus rarely came to the shore, despite seeing the lake every day through the Slytherin common room windows. Today it looked peaceful - calm - only faintly disturbed by the storm winds.

“Why are we here, Potter?” Regulus asked when James finally stopped.

But James didn’t answer. Instead, he bent down and tugged off his shoes and socks, throwing Regulus a grin over his shoulder.

“I’m not swimming.” Regulus crossed his arms.

James just shrugged and let his robe drop to the ground.

“The water must be freezing, Potter.” Regulus said, as James walked towards the lake.

“It’s not as bad as you think it is. C’mon, it’ll be fun!” James yelled.

Before Regulus could argue, James dove in fully clothed. Seconds passed. Too many seconds. Regulus’ heart clenched, concern taking over him. Without thinking, he jumped in after him. The water was shockingly cold, numbing his limbs instantly. It was murky and dark; he could barely see anything beneath the surface.

He was just about to dive even deeper, when James burst up beside him - scaring the shit out of him - with a smile and a laugh.

“Don’t ever-” Regulus splashed him hard “-do that again.”

“Aww, you were worried about me, weren’t you?” James teased, swimming farther out.

“Don’t go deeper. It’s dangerous!” Regulus yelped.

“If you keep swimming, you’ll warm up!”

Regulus was indeed freezing, teeth chattering, but he followed. Slowly, his arms and legs didn’t shiver anymore. The water stopped biting and started holding him, almost gently.

“It’s peaceful, isn’t it?” James asked.

“Yeah, I guess it is. But what are we even doing here?”

“Skipping class. Relaxing.” James floated on his back. “So, how are you Reg?”

Regulus hated that question. Everyone expected him to know the answer. And he didn’t. As if he were supposed to know the answer. As if everyone was.

“Good.” he lied.

James raised an eyebrow.

“What?!” Regulus snapped.

“New rule. From now on, don’t lie to me.”

Regulus shrugged but kept swimming around James.

“I know Sirius well enough to spot those lies, Reg.” James said smugly. “So, deal?”

“...Fine.”

“That’s more like it!” James grinned. “Now, race me? First to the shore wins.”

Regulus didn’t hesitate.

“Three… two-” 

Before “one” left James’s mouth, Regulus shot forward, placing one hand in front of the other, water splashing over his face.

“Hey!” James yelled from behind him. “No fair!”

But Regulus just swam harder, a grin stretching across his face. He was winning, even if he cheated by one second. He could hear James behind him, closing the gap - he was fast, unfairly fast - but the shore was only a few feet away.

He touched the sand first.

He turned around, triumphant-

James wasn’t behind him.

Not beside him.

Not anywhere.

Regulus scanned the lake, heartbeat spiking. Then he saw it: bubbles, a disturbance in the water.

James was struggling.

“James?” Regulus called, panic sharpening his voice. “This isn’t funny!” 

No answer. No movement.

James didn’t surface. He was in trouble.

Without a second thought, Regulus grabbed his wand from his discarded robes and dove straight down.

“Lumos.” he mumbled, clenching the wand between his teeth as he swam.

Pale light cut through the murk. James was underwater; kicking and fighting the grasp of a tall Merperson (*) with grey skin, long green hair drifting like weeds, and sharp, predatory yellow eyes. It was holding James by his trousers, dragging him deeper.

Regulus’ stomach dropped. He had never seen one in person; only in drawings. He’d never expected-

James’ movements were slowing. He had been underwater far too long. Regulus had to do something.

He shot upward for a breath, then plunged back down.

“Stupefy!” he tried to shout underwater, lake water filling his mouth, not knowing if it’ll work.

A blast erupted from his wand, pushing the Merperson back and sending Regulus tumbling in the current. It was just enough. James kicked free, pushing himself towards the surface. Then, the Merperson instantly turned to Regulus, hissed and darted away into the depths, disappearing completely.

Regulus didn’t wait. He swam after James and hauled him to shore.

James collapsed on the sand, pale, coughing hard, every breath shaky and sharp

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Regulus asked, as he laid him on the sandy bank.

He flicked his wand, casting the Drying Charm on both of them.

“We’re safe.” he murmured.

James was still trembling; maybe from the shock, maybe from the cold. Rain pattered harder now, soaking the sand around them.

Suddenly, James smirked.

“Fuck.” he said, breathless.

Regulus stared at him. “Why are you smiling? Have you lost your mind? You could have been killed! The lake is dangerous for a reason!”

“You were there to save me, though.” he whispered.

Regulus swallowed. “Can you stand? Let’s go inside.”

James nodded and pushed himself upright, still unsteady.

They made their way across the Covered Bridge on their way to the hospital wing. James kept insisting he didn’t need to go, but Regulus was firm. Madam Pomfrey had to see him. As they stepped into the Clocktower Courtyard, they spotted Peter talking animatedly to a Hufflepuff girl. His eyes caught on them immediately. He squeezed the girl’s hand in apology and sprinted over.

“What the hell happened?” he demanded, worried.

James looked a little steadier now, but still pale, one arm slung over Regulus’ shoulders for balance.

“I’m taking him to the hospital wing.” Regulus explained.

Peter ducked under James’ other arm without hesitation. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m okay guys. Really.” James insisted.

“Merlin’s beard, Prongs!” Peter yelped. “You’re bleeding.”

Regulus followed Peter’s gaze, and only then did he see the state of James’ calf. His trousers were torn open and blood dripped steadily onto his shoes.

With a quick swoop of his wand, Peter stopped the bleeding immediately.

“I’ll take him to Poppy.” Peter told Regulus. “Can you find Sirius and Remus?”

“Yes, of course.”