Chapter Text
Katsuki had long since passed the point of pretending he didn’t feel anything for Midoriya Izuku. In fact, he’d already reached the point of admitting—at least to his closest friends (not that he’d ever admit they were his friends)—that he was very much in love with him.
At first, he thought that would be his biggest obstacle—but he quickly realized just how wrong he was.
His biggest obstacle had short brown hair, rosy cheeks, an irritatingly bubbly voice, and went by the name Uraraka Ochako.
She was his romantic rival, clearly head over heels for Deku—not that he could blame her, since he liked him too. But Katsuki had known Deku way longer. That had to count for something, right?
And he knew Deku way better. Katsuki was the one Deku confided in about his inherited Quirk. Katsuki was the one he told the truth about One for All. It was Katsuki he trusted to share the burden of having to save the world.
Not Uraraka Ochako.
So yeah, she was his rival in love—but he clearly had the upper hand. Besides, it was obvious Deku had at least a little crush on him. He was always, “Kacchan is amazing,” this, and “Kacchan, let’s do something together,” that.
He didn’t even call Uraraka by her first name!
Even so, she remained a threat. They were close, they were friends, and until recently, Katsuki had been Deku’s rival. That was one point in her favor—he could admit that much.
Which meant he needed her out of the picture.
But how?
Katsuki mulled it over for days, observing his enemy, looking for some kind of weakness. He didn’t find anything actually useful. Sure, she was annoying, but that was about it—and Katsuki was pretty sure Deku didn’t share that sentiment.
But one thing he did notice: someone else’s weakness.
A certain class rep, to be specific.
Through his nerdy little glasses, Iida Tenya looked at Uraraka Ochako with unmistakable fondness. Like she hung the damn stars.
Katsuki knew that look all too well. Iida was crushing hard on Cheeks. And by god, he was going to use that to his advantage.
Iida was the perfect ally.
After days of watching Iida and picking up on his not-so-subtle feelings for Uraraka, Katsuki decided it was time to act. As always, he opted for the most direct approach possible. No beating around the bush, no dragging things out.
He found Iida in one of U.A.'s hallways, walking in that annoyingly impeccable posture of his, glasses gleaming under the lights. Katsuki clenched his fists and stormed up to him with a serious look on his face.
“Oi, Four Eyes. I need a word.” He said and Iida stopped in his tracks, turning to look at him curiously.
“What do you need, Bakugou-kun?”
“Not here.” Katsuki grabbed Iida’s arm and dragged him into an empty classroom, making sure no one could overhear their conversation.
Once inside, he shoved him lightly in and shut the door behind them, blocking the exit like he was handling a top-secret mission. Iida, surprised by Katsuki’s strength, stumbled for a second and his glasses slipped off, hitting the ground and snapping clean in half.
He let out a long sigh but didn’t lose his composure. Calm as ever, he reached into the inner pocket of his blazer, pulled out another pair, and slid them onto his face with robotic precision.
"You know," Katsuki muttered, crossing his arms, “If you invested in better fucking glasses, you wouldn’t have to carry spares everywhere.”
"I’ll have you know these glasses are of the highest quality!" Iida shot back, adjusting them with pride.
" This piece of crap!?" Katsuki barked. "They broke like a twig!"
"You wouldn’t understand," Iida said with his usual loftiness, lifting his chin. “These glasses are meticulously designed. They’re state-of-the-art glasses!”
“Yeah, I don’t get people with too much money who don’t know what to do with it. You’re worse than Todoroki!”
"Can we get to the point, Bakugou-kun? What do you want with me?" Iida crossed his arms, clearly irritated, but still standing straight like a damn statue.
Katsuki took a breath, leaning forward like he was about to share a state secret.
“All right, all right. Word is, you’ve got a thing Round Cheeks.”
Immediately, Iida’s face turned bright red. His arms started flailing wildly in that stiff, ridiculous way of his.
"W-what!? I-I—how could you suggest something so... improper!? I am a class representative, and I would never—"
"Cut the crap," Katsuki rolled his eyes. "I know you like her. It’s all over your dumb face. Who do you think you’re fooling, walking around with that kicked puppy look every time she’s near?"
Iida tried to compose himself, straightening his posture and clearing his throat.
"My personal feelings are irrelevant," he said seriously. "It’s obvious Uraraka-kun has feelings for Midoriya-kun, and as a friend to both of them, it’s my duty to step aside and support their happiness.”
"Yeah, well, that’s a problem for me, " Katsuki said darkly.
“And why would that be your problem?”
"Because I like Deku. And I’m trying to make him my damn boyfriend. But Round Cheeks over there is always sticking her nose in the way, and I want her "And what does that have to do with me ?" Iida asked, eyes wide.
"It has everything to do with you," Katsuki grinned, wicked. "Because when I start dating Deku, her little heart’s gonna shatter into a million tiny pieces and she’s gonna need a handsome, tall and well-mannered class rep to be her shoulder to cry on, if you get me."
Iida blinked fast, clearly thrown off.
"I... I don’t think I follow..."
"I’m saying," Katsuki said, voice low and smug, "if we team up to split them apart it could work out for the both of us."
"This... this is unacceptable!" Iida exclaimed, visibly offended. "We can't just manipulate our classmates' relationships in such a manner! I would never allow... such emotions to interfere with my responsibilities as a hero or representative!”
“Yeah, maybe not," Katsuki replied, smirking slightly, his words landing like a challenge. "But ever heard that all's fair in love and war? And, well, we’ve been through a war already. Two, actually."
Iida froze, the internal conflict clearly etched across his face. He nervously adjusted his glasses, and Katsuki could tell the guy was on the verge of caving. The blond turned, casually strolling toward the classroom door with deliberately slow steps.
"Look," he said, not bothering to glance back, "I’m gonna make Deku mine. No matter what. I just figured it'd be easier if you helped. But if you don’t wanna join in, fine by me. I’ll handle it my way... just hope Round Cheeks doesn’t get too damn hurted in the process."
Every word was delivered with casual indifference but but the sharp edge in his voice was unmistakable. He reached for the door, knowing full well that Iida, with all his control-freak tendencies, wouldn’t stomach the idea of things spiraling into chaos.
“Wait!” Iida finally gave in, his voice echoing through the room. Katsuki stopped, glancing over his shoulder. “What exactly are you thinking?”
“So you’re in?” Katsuki turned around fully, a victorious smirk spreading across his face.
“I... I... this would be... strategically improper, but... perhaps we could discuss more... ethical approaches?” Iida muttered, clearly uncomfortable. Katsuki chuckled.
“I got a few ideas already.”
Iida shook his head, resigned.
“Are you sure about this?”
“Hell yeah, it’s gonna work.” Katsuki said, dead confident. “Look, it’s nothing big. All I need is for you to flirt with Uraraka. Easy, right?”
“Well... that does sound simple enough.”
“See? Nothing unethical about it.”
As the two exchanged wary glances, the fate of Deku and Uraraka was about to take an unexpected—and absolutely disastrous—turn.
***
Kacchan had been acting weird these past few days. Izuku couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he knew something was off. The blond was behaving differently—sneaking around, of all things.
Kacchan never sneaked around. He was the type to face everything head-on, and if people didn’t like how he did things, that was their damn problem. That made the whole situation even stranger. It was rare to see Kacchan so restrained, almost... discreet.
The peak of the weirdness came when Izuku saw him talking to Iida. The two of them were walking side by side down the hallway, speaking in hushed tones like they didn’t want anyone to hear.
Izuku wasn’t the only one who had noticed, though.
“What’s that about?” Uraraka asked, stepping up beside him, looking just as confused as he felt.
“It’s weird, right?” he said. “Usually, when they talk, it’s because Iida-kun is scolding Kacchan for something he did. But it doesn’t seem like that’s the case… Kacchan doesn’t even look annoyed.”
“That’s scary. Part of me wants to know what they’re talking about, and the other part doesn’t want to imagine.”
“We should probably stay out of it.”
“Agreed.”
Even so, something about the whole scene left Izuku uneasy. It was rare to see Kacchan and Iida together without Kacchan growling or shouting. But now he looked... calm. That’s really weird. For some reason, the idea of Kacchan and Iida scheming together made him a little uncomfortable, though he couldn’t explain why.
Izuku figured that would be the end of it—just one of those strange moments where Kacchan happened to talk to the class rep. A week from now, he’d forget it ever happened.
Or so he thought.
In the days that followed, Izuku began noticing even more odd behavior from Kacchan and Iida. It wasn’t just the unlikely friendship—it was the way they always seemed to be whispering or exchanging furtive glances, like they were planning something.
It was surreal. Kacchan, who never gave a damn about subtlety, now looked like he was hiding a secret. And strangely enough, Iida seemed to be in on it.
Then, one day at lunch, things got even weirder. Todoroki had said he’d be eating with Sero, and Asui had been invited by Kirishima and Kaminar to eat. That meant it would be just Izuku, Uraraka, and Iida at the table.
A normal day.
Imagine his surprise when, after grabbing his food—katsudon, of course—and sitting down with Uraraka, Iida showed up at the table...
With Kacchan.
Izuku blinked, not believing what he was seeing.
“Kacchan’s having lunch with us today?!”
“Yeah.” The blond replied casually. “Four-eyes invited me. Got a problem with that?”
“No! None at all!” Izuku waved his hands in the air, flustered. “It’s just that you’ve never wanted to before, so…”
“I changed my mind.” Kacchan then turned his gaze to Uraraka, who was sitting next to Izuku, and frowned. “Move it, Puffy Cheeks.”
“What?” Uraraka raised an eyebrow, clearly caught off guard.
“You’re in my spot.”
“I sit here every day!”
"I don’t give a damn. It’s mine now. Move."
Uraraka stared at him, baffled, but before she could argue, Iida jumped in—like it was all part of some pre-planned operation.
“Uraraka-kun, why don’t you come sit next to me?” He smiled, a bit too tense.
“But—”
“I insist! We’re already switching things up today, what’s one more thing?" Iida said, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.
With a confused shrug, Uraraka gave in and moved. Now Kacchan was sitting right next to Izuku—which was… unexpected, but Izuku didn’t complain. It was kinda nice having him close, even if he was being weird.
Kacchan leaned in slightly, like this was the most normal thing in the world, and grinned.
“Yo.”
“Hi, Kacchan,” Izuku replied, letting out a nervous laugh. It still felt strange to see the blond being so... friendly, but a part of him liked it. Liked this Kacchan.
"Enjoying the food?"
"Yeah, I love katsudon, you know it’s my favorite."
“That’s right. How ‘bout I cook it for you sometime?” Kacchan’s voice was casual, but there was a glint in his eye.
“You can make katsudon?” Izuku asked, surprised.
“Course I can.” The blond gave a cocky grin that made Izuku’s heart skip. “What can’t I do, Deku?”
“Kacchan really is amazing.”
Kacchan chuckled softly, clearly pleased, and went back to eating. He was enjoying this—enjoying how flustered Izuku was.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Iida was trying to hold it together.
“What’s your favorite food, Uraraka-kun?”
“Mochi! I love mochi!” She answered cheerfully, momentarily forgetting the earlier tension.
"Perhaps we could get some on our next school-free day?" the class rep offered, trying to sound cool, though his face was definitely red—how odd.
“That sounds great!” Uraraka beamed, turning to Izuku. "It’ll be fun, right, Deku-kun? I bet Tsu-chan and Todoroki-kun would love it!"
“They would!” Izuku nodded, then turned to the blond next to him and added on impulse, “You could come too, Kacchan.”
“With your lame-ass friends?” He made a face. “Nah, I’m good. But if it’s just the two of us, I might consider it."
Izuku laughed, assuming it was a joke, though Uraraka frowned, confused.
“Why would it be just you two when Iida-kun’s the one who invited us?” She asked. Kacchan shot another glance at Iida and jerked his head toward her.
“It’s fine!” The class rep said quickly. “Everyone can come, or just the two of them... or, uh, the two of us !”
“That makes no sense,” Uraraka shot back, even more confused. “Why would it just be the two of us ?”
“It was just a suggestion...” Iida muttered, eyes darting away.
Kacchan let out a loud sigh, clearly fed up with the spiraling awkwardness.
“Four-eyes, can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Of course, Bakugou-kun.” Iida stood up abruptly, clearly relieved to escape.
“Catch you later, Deku.” Kacchan said before walking away, winking at Izuku. The gesture made Izuku’s heart skip a beat—but he quickly turned his attention to Uraraka, who looked absolutely baffled.
"What the hell was that?"
"No idea. But that was weird, right?"
"Super weird."
He glanced toward the cafeteria doors and saw the two of them arguing. Kacchan didn’t look happy, pointing aggressively toward their table. Then he chucked his tray into a nearby bin and stormed off. Iida followed close behind, tray still in hand.
Yeah. Super weird.
***
Katsuki was pissed.
He knew the plan was messy from the start, but he didn’t think dealing with Iida would be this damn hard. In his head, it was simple: get close to Uraraka, get her out of the way, and finally have Deku all to himself. But nothing was going the way he fucking expected. They had barely sat down and Iida was already screwing everything up.
When he stood from the table, annoyed with how obvious the failure was, he pulled Iida aside. They needed to have a serious talk. The two walked toward the cafeteria exit, both holding their trays. Katsuki could feel the weight of Deku and Cheeks’ confusion burning into his back like a fucking spotlight.
“What the hell was that shit?” Katsuki snapped, his tone sharp with that trademark brand of irritation he always had when his patience hit the floor. Iida adjusted his glasses, clearly flustered.
“I… I was trying to flirt with Uraraka-kun.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes so hard it hurt.
“Yeah, no shit. Now tell me—did you notice the difference between what I was doing and what you were doing?” He scoffed. “You don’t know how to fucking flirt. That much was obvious.”
Iida blinked, like he was analyzing every word.
“Well, it’s not exactly something I’ve tried before…”
You gotta be aggressive ,” Katsuki cut in, already exasperated.. “Be aggressive, got it? Be direct. Bold. Pushy, if you have to. Nobody’s gonna notice if you keep acting like some polite-ass tea ceremony host.”
The class rep stayed silent for a moment, processing Katsuki’s words, before nodding stiffly.
“I understand.”
“Good. Be at my room tonight. Kaminari’s giving you a crash course in flirting.” Katsuki was already planning how to drag the self-proclaimed “Flirt King” into whipping Iida into shape. Iida, meanwhile, looked baffled.
“Kaminari-kun? Why not you?”
Katsuki groaned.
“Because I don’t have the patience for that shit. And besides, it comes natural to me—like everything else I do.” He smirked, cocky as hell. Iida hesitated for a beat, then nodded, still visibly unsure.
“Alright… do you think it’ll work?”
Katsuki let out an annoyed sigh.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t it? You’re good-looking, you’re the class rep… what else could she want?”
Iida turned red at the unexpected compliment, but Katsuki didn’t stick around to care. He threw one last glance at the table where Deku and Uraraka still sat, dumped his tray in the trash, and stormed off in the opposite direction—hellbent on making things go his way.
Later, in Katsuki’s room, he started to see that this was going to be way harder than he thought.
"Alright, from the top. Again ."Katsuki said through gritted teeth, already running low on patience. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, surrounded by the others. Kaminari was doing his best to help, while Kirishima watched the whole thing unfold with amused delight, finding the situation downright hilarious.
The mission: teach Iida how to flirt.
"All you gotta do is copy Kaminari."
"That’s right, Class Rep, just like this." Kaminari straightened his posture and leaned in toward Iida, giving him a charming smile and a smooth wink. "Hey there, cutie. How you doin’?"
Girls liked that kind of thing, right? At least he thought they did.
"See?" Katsuki scoffed. "It ain’t rocket science. Now try it on Kirishima."
Iida took a deep breath, his face already bright red as he turned to face the redhead, clearly mortified. He looked at Kirishima like he was about to face off against a dangerous villain.
"H-h-hey th-there, c-c-cutie. H-how are y-you?" he stammered, tossing in a wink so stiff and awkward it looked more like a nervous twitch.
Kirishima just blinked back, unsure how to respond.
"Yeah, that didn’t convince me," he said, raising his hands in mock defeat.
"You gotta loosen up, man!" Kaminari advised, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "You’re way too stiff."
"I just... I don't think this approach will work on her," Iida adjusted his glasses, clearly flustered. His face was still flushed, and he looked one second away from calling the whole thing off.
"Have to agree." Kirishima chimed in, chuckling a bit. "Besides, didn’t Uraraka already reject Kaminari?"
Immediately, Katsuki felt his blood boil. His eyes snapped to Kaminari, sharp as a damn blade. If looks could kill, Kaminari would’ve exploded on the spot.
" What?! " Katsuki practically growled. Kaminari, realizing he’d just stepped into very dangerous territory, gave a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his neck.
"Wait—Uraraka’s the one Iida’s trying to go after?" He laughed again, clearly trying to play it off. "I didn’t know that, I swear."
"Who the fuck did you think it was?!"
"I... didn’t really think about it!" Kaminari admitted, shrugging helplessly.
"Yeah, no shit!" Katsuki barked, then let out a long, frustrated sigh, trying to reel it in. "When the hell did that even happen?"
"Beginning of last year," Kaminari started, practically shrinking under Katsuki’s glare. "After that paired training exercise, y'know? When you nearly killed Midoriya-kun. Turns out, she’s immune to my charm."
"Too powerful, that one. Truly, she’s a force to be reckoned with." Kirishima rolled his eyes, clearly entertained.
"Alright, change of plans." Katsuki growled, turning to the redhead. "Kirishima, you’re up."
"Me?!" Kirishima pointed at himself, surprised.
"Yeah, you. You're dating Ashido, so you must know something , at the very least." Katsuki crossed his arms. "And you better not fuck it up, or Sero’s takin’ your place."
"Sir, yes, sir!" Kirishima shot up like a soldier in a bad war movie, voice dripping with sarcasm—but he did as he was told.
First things first, Iida needed to learn how to flirt. He had to know how to grab a girl’s attention if this plan had any chance in hell of working.
And for the sake of Katsuki’s fucking sanity , it had to work