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It’s a Thursday night and Hinata has work the next day, so it’s not really so ideal to go out to the bar. But tonight is the first night Komaeda has agreed to go, so he feels obligated. Even if he can’t get drunk himself, he’s glad to help his best friend unwind.
“I don’t need to ‘unwind’,” Komaeda argues as they drive over.
“Dude,” Hinata says exasperatedly. “You had me pick you up because you’re paranoid about driving with other people in the car.”
“You never know what could happen, Hajime!”
“You need to relax.”
Komaeda looks out the window and makes a “Hm” sound, a sign that he disagrees but doesn’t care enough to push the argument.
“Like, I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever gone out to a bar together,” Hinata continues. “I’ve never even seen you drink.”
Komaeda shrugs. “It’s not something I’m interested in. But I’m off tomorrow, and have nothing better to do tonight. So if it gets you off my case, I’ll do it this once.”
“Thanks a lot,” Hinata mumbles sarcastically.
“I just don’t think I’ll be very fun!” Komaeda says. “You’ll see how uninteresting I am, and then you probably won’t invite me to do it anymore. Isn’t Souda-kun better to drink with?”
Hinata somewhat routinely goes out to drink with Souda, and usually a few of their other friends tag along as well. Ibuki, Owari, and Nidai are the usual suspects. Sometimes Kuzuryuu tags along, meaning Pekoyama does as well. Needless to say, while he’s friends with all of them, they can be extremely rowdy to say the least. There’s no such thing as a calm night out with any of them. Pekoyama is the only one who stays sober, and she looks like she could assassinate any of them at any minute.
“They’re too much fun sometimes,” Hinata explains. “I’d honestly rather have a calm, relaxing night out once in a while. Most of the time, actually. And besides—you’re my best friend. Of course I wanna hang out with you.”
He feels slightly embarrassed saying this last part, and keeps his gaze focused on the road in front of him. He can almost hear Komaeda smiling next to him.
“That’s why I finally said yes. I know you mean well. And I like hanging out with you too!”
He says it so happily and in such a straightforward fashion, Hinata feels even more embarrassed and awkwardly rubs his neck. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”
When they get to the bar, it’s the quietest he’s ever seen it. It’s a regular destination when Hinata goes out with the others, but they usually always go on Friday and Saturday nights. He likes it better this way. There’s still a moderate amount of cars in the parking lot, but it’s not busy.
Which is nice, because the music and the people aren’t too loud, and Hinata can hear himself think when he sits down at the bar next to Komaeda.
“Have you ever even had alcohol before?” He asks while they wait for the bartender. “We’ve been friends for a couple years now and I don’t remember ever seeing or hearing of you drink.”
“You seem fixated on this issue, Hajime.” Komaeda smiles at him. “I did a few times as a freshman in undergrad. After that, I stopped going to parties. They’re really not my thing!”
That makes sense. Hinata didn’t become friends with Komaeda until sophomore year of undergrad. Now they’re in their first year of grad school at the same university.
Hinata wants to ask him more about it, but the bartender appears and asks for their order. Hinata gets a beer; he can’t drink too much tonight. Komaeda looks baffled, so Hinata gets him a dirty martini.
“It’s salty,” he says. “You’ll like it.”
“You know me too well, Hajime!”
Hinata smiles. He does know Komaeda pretty well, or he’d like to think he does, after three and a half years. He made other friends at college, some he’s known for longer, but Komaeda ended up being his best friend anyway.
That’s probably because he’s made sure to be closer to Komaeda than anyone else ever since he discovered he was in love with him.
The years really flew by. And here he is, still trying to figure out if Komaeda returns his feelings. What an idiot.
Komaeda likes the dirty martini, predictably, but he does think it’s a bit strong.
“You better finish it. It’s on me,” Hinata tells him, while nursing his beer.
“No it’s not,” Komaeda says firmly. “I’m paying for myself.”
“Too bad, it’s already all on my tab.”
“We can split it later.”
“If you’re not too drunk to remember.”
Komaeda tries to argue the point further but Hinata just insists that he finish his drink.
He sort of does want Komaeda to get drunk, just so he can see it, since he never has. And so the guy can start to relax for once in his goddamn life. Komaeda doesn’t seem to mind too much, as he obediently finishes his martini.
Hinata gets another beer for himself and three shots for Komaeda.
“Shots?” Komaeda says, alarmed.
“It’s just three, you’ll be fine.” Hinata bumps their shoulders together playfully. Maybe it’s the atmosphere of the place, but he’s more comfortable being physical with Komaeda than usual.
The lights have dimmed more, the music has gotten a little louder. People are standing around, talking, and some dancing. It’s still not packed, but there’s a decent crowd.
After the shots—which Komaeda quickly puts away at Hinata’s behest, despite making a disgusted face after each one—Hinata gets him a couple more drinks. At this point Komaeda comments that he’s feeling “a bit warm, actually,” which Hinata takes to mean he’s starting to get a little drunk.
He looks it, at least. In the dim light Hinata can see Komaeda’s cheeks are dusted a dark pink, his eyes shining. He actually looks unfairly gorgeous and Hinata is mildly annoyed about that.
It’s been around two hours at this point since they’ve arrived at the bar. They haven’t talked much, due to the music. But one of the things Hinata likes most about his relationship—friendship—with Komaeda is that they don’t always have to talk; he can be comfortable and content with “hanging out” even when they’re not actually speaking.
That sounds really dumb and corny, but it’s true. He just likes to be around Komaeda, even if it’s in a dimly lit, sort of loud, slightly seedy bar on a Thursday night.
“This isn’t so bad,” Komaeda says with a somewhat vacant smile. “I do feel pretty relaxed.”
“Good.” Hinata gets him a glass of water, and himself another beer, because he hasn’t had one in a little while.
“This isn’t boring for you, though? We’re just sitting here.”
Hinata shrugs. “Like I said, I prefer it like this. Unless you’re bored? We can always dance, you know.”
He says it with a teasing half-smile, because he knows Komaeda doesn’t do dancing. Drunk Komaeda, however, looks a little contemplative about it. Hinata almost regrets the suggestion. Looking over at the people who are dancing—it’s not exactly an innocent display. If Komaeda wanted to do that with him, he’d probably die.
“That would probably be embarrassing,” Komaeda settles on with a laugh. “It looks fun, but I’m no good at it.”
“Honestly, me neither,” Hinata admits. “When I go out with the others, I usually just watch them. It’s kind of hilarious.”
Komaeda laughs again, louder this time. When he laughs—really laughs, not just the little soft giggle he tends to do when he’s speaking—it sounds so breathy and attractive, Hinata can’t help it if his heart races a little.
“I bet Souda-kun is the worst dancer!” he says brightly.
He really is, and Hinata’s about to give him some details, but is interrupted by a voice on Komaeda’s other side, speaking over the music. “Excuse me.”
Komaeda turns around and Hinata looks over. There’s a tall, nicely-dressed man leaning against the bar, smiling. He hardly spares Hinata a glance. To say Hinata doesn’t like the way he’s looking at Komaeda would be, quite frankly, an understatement.
“I was wondering if you’d let me buy you a drink.” Hinata barely catches the smooth words over the music, because this guy really isn’t making any attempt to be heard by him at all.
Komaeda’s eyes go wide, his mouth working frantically over a response. “Ah… I mean…”
It’s at this point that Hinata remembers Komaeda isn’t used to being hit on at all. For whatever reason—Hinata isn’t sure if he himself has something to do with it—very few people had ever expressed interest in Komaeda as far as Hinata had known him, and this is the first time he’s ever seen it occur so directly.
“You don’t need to do that,” is the response Komaeda comes up with, complete with a polite smile. Even Hinata can’t tell if this is an actual rejection or not.
“I know I don’t need to,” the man says easily. “But I want to, if you’d let me. You’re beautiful, and I’d like to get to know you.”
The flush on Komaeda’s face darkens to a red blush. Hinata experiences a strong urge to smash his beer mug over this random dickbag’s head.
Utterly unused to such a compliment, and also a bit tipsy, Komaeda takes a few moments to form a response. When he does, it’s with a frantic waving of his hands. “You—you really don’t need to do that for someone like me. I promise I’m really not that great.”
“You shouldn’t say that. I’m sure you’re wonderful.”
“Really, you could do better.”
“I don’t think so.”
At this point, Komaeda briefly glances over at Hinata for the first time. He looks completely alarmed and at a loss.
That settles it for Hinata, who slams his hand down on the bar counter and stands up. “Listen, dickwad,"—and at this, the man looks over at him like he’s just noticed his presence—“He’s not interested. Can you fuck off?”
Okay, maybe that was a little too much anger for someone trying to help their friend being hit on. Even Komaeda looks a bit scandalized.
The douchenugget in question, for his part, looks pretty affronted. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah, you heard me. He’s just too nice to say it, but he’s not fucking interested. At all.”
Fuckface raises his eyebrows. “How do you know that? Are you his boyfriend?”
The question is so obviously meant as a jeer, Hinata wants to reach over and throttle this guy with his bare hands.
“You fucking—”
He’s cut off as the bartender appears in front of them. “Is there a problem here?”
“I don’t know,” Assmuncher says, and looks at Komaeda. “Is there?”
“There is, isn’t there, Nagito?” Hinata says savagely.
Komaeda just gapes at the both of them.
Hinata growls and slams money down on the counter. “Keep the change,” he tells the bartender, and then to Komaeda, with a tug of his arm, “We’re leaving.”
Komaeda follows him obediently out of the bar. Dick Suckington says nothing to stop them, and they don’t look back.
“You’re drunk, I’m taking you home,” Hinata says stonily once they’re in the car.
“Hajime—”
“If you’re going to apologize, don’t. I’m not mad at you.”
“But you’re mad.”
He can’t deny that, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. His jaw clenches, and he says nothing.
“You shouldn’t be mad at him, Hajime. I should’ve been more direct. I’m not very good at those situations…”
“You were obviously uncomfortable. That guy was just a fucking idiot.”
“I think your reaction was a bit extreme.”
He doesn’t even know how to refute that, so he falls silent.
Komaeda says nothing more either. As they silently drive home Hinata’s anger at Shitguzzler ebbs down and is mostly replaced with shame.
I’m such an idiot, he berates himself. We hardly get to go out as it is and I had to ruin it...
“Hajime,” Komaeda says, pulling him from his own miserable thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“Were you jealous?”
Hinata feels a strange sensation like his insides jerking forward. He twitches, his fingers spasming on the steering wheel. “What?!” he says, probably louder than necessary.
“Ah…” Komaeda’s voice trails off. Hinata doesn’t look over at him but he sounds embarrassed. “I’m sorry—I think that’s just the alcohol talking, I don’t know why I said that!”
“It’s alright,” Hinata hears himself saying, distantly.
“I mean, what a funny thought,” Komaeda continues. “As though you’d be interested in me! It’s funny, but definitely not probable.”
Hinata bites his lip.
There are a few beats of silence.
“Are you alright, Hajime? Normally you’d chastise me for being self-deprecating.”
“I’m fine.”
Those curt words silence the car for the remainder of the drive.
They pull up in front of Komaeda’s apartment. Hinata puts the car in park and turns to look at Komaeda for the first time since they left the bar.
Komaeda is smiling at him. Willing to forget all about the awkward car ride, apparently.
“I’m glad we got to do this, Hajime.”
Hinata feels a bundle of words in his throat, waiting to come out. He can’t seem to swallow them down.
“I know the night got cut short, but I still had a good time. I really hope—”
“Nagito.”
Komaeda falters at the sudden interruption. “Huh?”
“I was jealous.”
Komaeda blinks rapidly at him. “Huh?” he repeats, louder this time.
Those three words broke the dam and Hinata is no longer afraid to speak. “You were right. I was jealous. I mean, that guy was still an asshole, but that’s not why I got so mad. I don’t want anyone to look at you like that, or talk to you like that, because I—” Well damn if this wasn’t already embarrassing enough, might as well go all the way. “Because I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years, you idiot, so I don’t even know why the hell I’m spilling all of this now, of all times, I’m basically ruining everything but I don’t want to lie to you anymore—damn I should just fucking shut up now—why aren’t you saying anything?”
Komaeda isn’t saying anything because his jaw has dropped open and looks to be staying that way for quite some time. His hand is frozen on the car door handle, his previous attempt to leave forgotten. Hinata thinks maybe he actually turned into a statue.
The reaction isn’t helping his nerves.
“I don’t know why I told you that,” Hinata says. His courage dissipating, he is once more overwhelmed in shame. He looks away from Komaeda as his face heats up. “Do you want to just forget about it and continue being best friends?”
“No, I don’t.”
Startled, Hinata looks over at Komaeda again. “You don’t?”
“Hajime, you—” Komaeda cuts himself off, opening and closing his mouth a few times. “You’re telling the truth, right?”
“Why the hell would I lie about something like that?” Hinata asks, annoyed.
“It’s just hard to believe.”
Hinata rolls his eyes. “It was obvious to everyone except you.”
“It’s hard to believe,” Komaeda repeats, “because I’ve been in love with you, too. For so long. I never thought… never dreamed that you’d feel the same way. You do, right? You’re not just taking pity on me?”
Hinata can’t respond to that question, as stupid of a question as it is. He’s so stunned he can hardly blink, let alone speak.
“I’m assuming from your shocked expression that you’re being sincere,” Komaeda comments wryly.
Then he leans over, closer to Hinata, closer, closer—like he’s going to—
“I—you—” Hinata sputters, throwing himself back against the driver’s car door. “Nagito… look, we just came back from the bar, you had a little bit to drink. How do I know you're being sincere?”
“I’m not that drunk,” Komaeda says, leaning over even more. “I’m hardly drunk at all. Even if I was, that’s a strange thing to make up.”
“Okay, okay—but—I can’t kiss you when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not,” Komaeda argues.
“I can smell alcohol on your breath.” Because he’s close enough now, he really can.
“Are you sure? Maybe you need to get closer.”
“I’m not kissing you!”
“But I want you to.”
“I want to too!” Hinata bursts out. “But I don’t know if any of this is real! So go inside, go to sleep, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
Komaeda leans back and frowns slightly. “If that’s the case, why did you even tell me any of this in the first place, while I’m ‘drunk’?”
“Because I’m an idiot,” Hinata answers simply. “Look, I think we both need to think this over. Go to sleep.”
Komaeda doesn’t move or respond, but his frown deepens. He actually looks sort of upset.
“It’s really not nice to play with someone’s emotions, Hajime, even if it’s me,” he says. “You should just tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
Oh, for the love of…
“Okay, you know what, here’s what we’re going to do,” Hinata says, unbuckling himself and opening the car door. “You’re going in to go to sleep, and I’m coming with you and sleeping on the couch. So I’m not leaving you, and we’ll sort this out in the morning.”
“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch—”
“Too bad. Let’s go.”
He manages to get Komaeda out of the car and into the apartment with him. Komaeda’s protests about the couch die down rapidly as he makes a beeline for his own bed and crashes onto it. Hinata just shakes his head at him, vaguely amused, and goes to prepare the couch.
“Hajime,” Komaeda says from the bed as he leaves. “You can sleep in bed with me, if you want.”
Hinata runs to the couch so fast he breaks the sound barrier.
-
He wakes in the morning to the smell of coffee in the kitchen. Komaeda prefers tea, but he always makes coffee whenever Hinata is over.
Hinata makes his way into the kitchen, where Komaeda is pouring a cup of coffee. He adds only a bit of sugar, the way Hinata likes it. His own tea is on the table, steeping.
“You always time it just right,” Hinata comments as he sits down at the table.
“I just know that the smell always wakes you up.” With a smile, Komaeda brings the coffee over to him.
“Thanks.” Hinata cradles the the cup, blowing on it to cool it down.
Komaeda sits down across from him and stirs his tea. He’s still wearing his clothes from yesterday, minus his jacket, and his shirt is rumpled from sleeping on it. His collarbone is partially exposed on one side. Hinata pretends not to notice.
“I’m sorry.”
“Huh?”
Komaeda isn’t looking at him, his gaze fixed on his tea, and he looks more embarrassed than Hinata has ever seen him. “I’m sorry about last night. I was a bit too aggressive.”
Looking at him so embarrassed makes Hinata’s face heat up as well. “Uh, it’s fine…”
“It’s just that—I was happy, because I’ve been in love with you for so long, and—”
“How long?” Hinata blurts out.
Komaeda blinks up at him, wide-eyed, his face flushed. “Um—it doesn’t matter, does it?”
“I guess not,” Hinata concedes. Komaeda is definitely not nearly as straightforward when he’s sober.
“It just made me so happy when you said you loved me… But… do you really? Were you telling the truth?”
His voice sounds so meek and unsure and Hinata is annoyed. “I said this last night and I’ll say it now—why the hell would I lie about that? I’d have to be a real fucking asshole to do that.”
He doesn’t intend for it to sound so hostile, but Komaeda winces a bit.
“Sorry,” Hinata adds quickly. “But it’s the truth. I promise.”
Komaeda is quiet for a few moments. Slowly he sips at his tea, looking contemplative. Hinata remembers his coffee and sips at it, now that it’s cooled down a bit. It tastes just like how he likes it.
Komaeda puts down his tea. He looks at Hinata and smiles. “I’m glad. It just seems too good to be true—but—I’m really glad.”
Hinata rolls his eyes, but he can’t fight the smile creeping onto his own face. “Don’t make it sound like you’re grateful or something that I’m in love with you.”
“I guess it’s weird to be grateful, huh? But when it’s someone like me—”
“Shut up about that.” Hinata stands up from his seat, setting his coffee down on the table. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s at the other side of the table, his hand under Komaeda’s chin, tilting his head to look up at him. “I love you, idiot. And if you still want to, I’d like to kiss you.”
Komaeda’s eyes widen when he looks at him, his pupils dilating. His face is still flushed, and looking at him so close, his hand on his face, it really hits Hinata all at once that this is actually happening—he finally confessed to his best friend, after all these years, and his feelings are actually reciprocated. He feels dizzy with the realization.
“I still want to,” Komaeda says quietly.
Hinata bends down, his hand still on Komaeda’s chin, and kisses him.
Komaeda’s lips are a bit chapped, and neither of them have brushed their teeth yet this morning. It’s still the most amazing thing Hinata has ever felt.
He pulls back after only a few seconds because his stomach is doing rapid somersaults. When he opens his eyes he sees Komaeda looking at him with something like awe.
They stare at each other for a moment until Komaeda says “You taste like coffee.”
“That isn’t very romantic,” Hinata comments, and Komaeda laughs softly.
His laugh makes Hinata’s stomach flip again. All of this could be a dream, maybe it is, he doesn’t care. But no, it’s not. Kissing Komaeda in real life feels much better than anything he could imagine. Not that he spent all that much time imagining it…
“So,” Hinata says. “Does—does this mean…” As giddy as he is, he’s nervous about what he’s going to say.
Komaeda smiles encouragingly at him.
“Does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend?” Hinata asks awkwardly. “Uh, I mean, that probably sounds weird. Will you be my boyfriend? Do you want to?”
There is no change of expression on Komaeda’s face at first. Then his mouth quirks up into what looks like a smirk. That is never usually a good sign.
“I don’t know,” Komaeda says. “That man at the bar was pretty cute, I might want to keep my options open.”
Hinata snatches his hand away from Komaeda’s face, pulling back. He feels his eye twitch. “Fuck you, forget I asked.”
Komaeda laughs, loudly. “I’m kidding, Hajime!” His arms circle around Hinata’s waist, preventing him from moving away any further. “Of course I will.”
Hinata can’t really stay mad at him after that. His hands run through Komaeda’s hair. “You’re a little shit,” he says, fondly.
Komaeda hums in agreement.
Hinata can’t help the soft laugh that bubbles out of his chest. Right now, he doesn’t care if Komaeda decides to mess with him. He’s happy, because Komaeda said yes.
He never thought this would happen, so he stays where he is, his hands in Komaeda’s hair, holding him close to be sure this isn’t a dream.
“Hey, Hajime?” Komaeda says suddenly, looking up at him.
“Hm?” Hinata says, smiling.
“Don’t you have work now?”
“..... Shit.”