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The reception of Wardens in Southern Thedas in the aftermath of the Sixth Blight tended to depend on who you were talking to. Some of the nobles they’d encountered, like Viscountess Aveline Vallen of Kirkwall and Prince Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven were relatively practical, more concerned with the survival of their people and rebuilding what they could than looking to blame anyone. Another Warden Rook and Illario had encountered on the road advised them they’d be welcome enough in Kirkwall and Starkhaven, but that while the commoners in Wycome would be glad to see them, the nobility would not be.
Wycome was the second greatest importer of Antivan wine in Thedas. That coupled with the knowledge of other imports Wycome valued told Illario that the nobility and any richer residents of the duchy were likely to be looking for someone to blame for the loss of their rich and comfortable lives.
The minor nobility they’d met from the duchy set Illario’s teeth on edge. More than once since arriving in the area he’d had minor lords or ladies shouting at him and Rook, demanding to know why they hadn’t been here during the Blight, why they hadn’t stopped the darkspawn in their tracks.
He and Rook were camping again tonight with Wardens Pascal and Alesso. They’d been on the road with the other two Wardens for the past two months, but now that they’d reached Wycome they’d split up again, Pascal and Alesso going south and Rook and Illario heading west once more.
It had been raining steadily over the past few days, making camping a distinctly damp experience. Even with the tent he and Rook shared, a cool chill from the damp ground would often soak through their bedrolls at night. He wanted to spend a night in an inn with a roof over them and a real bed to sleep in, but given the attitudes of the local nobility, the others had decided it was better to camp instead.
“It would be easier to verify there weren’t any more sightings of darkspawn in the area if the lords and ladies weren’t constantly harassing us,” Pascal remarked as he tended their stew pot. “Eh, nobility.”
Rook nodded as she leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. “Reminds me of some of the Altus families in Tevinter. Some of them are perfectly nice, and some of them are just spoiled rotten, but you can’t do anything about it. My father’s Legatus, but that means squat compared to a Magister.”
“Legatus, that’s a military rank, right?” Alesso asked curiously.
Rook nodded. “My family’s all military.”
“These lords remind me of minor Merchant Princes in Antivan,” Illario muttered. “Thinking they have more power and weight to throw around than they actually do.” He wore a disgusted look as he busied himself sharpening one of his knives. “How many times has Lord Favre interrupted us over the past week when we’ve been working, clearing blight and checking for darkspawn?”
“Too many times,” Alesso muttered in agreement.
“In Antiva he’d have already met a knife in an alley,” Illario murmured darkly, so only Rook could hear. The exiled Crow got up then, stalking out of the circle of the fire.
Alesso arched a brow as he watched the former assassin stalk away. “What’s gotten into him?”
“Probably just tired of dealing with Lord Farve’s attitude,” Pascal shrugged. “He isn’t the only one.”
Rook frowned and got up, following Illario into the darkness.
“You know we could solve a number of problems if we relieved him of the burden of life,” Illario told her.
“This isn’t Antiva,” Rook reminded him. “And Evka doesn’t need us causing any political incidents.
“It would be easy enough to make it look like he ate the wrong pie or died from bad food,” Illario retorted.
“Illario,” there was a warning edge to Rook’s voice.
“What do you want me to do, Rook?” he demanded. “He’s getting in the way, and removing him would make both our lives and the lives of the commoners easier.”
“Illario,” she sighed, rubbing at her forehead.
“Meirda, Rook. We are sleeping in the fucking mud instead of a dry tavern because of that man,” Illario snapped.
“We can deal with a little mud,” she replied evenly.
“I could be in Antiva, drinking wine in a comfortable chair and enjoying an expensive meal instead of eating rabbit stew for the third night in a row and sleeping in the mud. Finding a contract to take on a man like Lord Farve wouldn’t be difficult.”
“You’re not in Antiva because you decided it would be a good idea to consort with Venatori to kill your cousin and kidnap your grandmother,” Rook snarled.
“Or I might have simply been confined to languish in my quarters, so at least I wouldn't be sleeping in the mud.”
“Or they could have locked you in a cage,” her gray eyes burned. “And if you were in Antiva, you wouldn’t be with me. I-” She stopped herself and whirled around, stalking off.
“Where are you going?” he demanded.
“Off somewhere else so I don’t say something I regret,” she snapped.
Illario glared after her, clenching his fists in frustration. It was times like this he missed his old life among the Crows. Had he still been a Crow, he likely never would have dealt with anyone like Lord Farve, or if he did it would only be for a short while and the man wouldn’t keep interrupting his work. He was reminded of all the things in Treviso he didn’t have here: soft silken sheets, a comfortable bed, fine wine, fine food. As for being with Rook, he-
That thought brought him up short, and he suddenly felt cold.
Even if in the best case scenario Lucanis had forgiven him or just confined him to his quarters, he’d have his luxuries, he would have Caterina breathing down his neck. Lucanis had yet to even answer one of the letters he’d sent in the past year and a half.
And Rook was right, he wouldn’t be with her.
He wouldn’t sleep with her wrapped around him, head tucked under his chin or resting on the pillow beside him. He wouldn’t have had any of their moments together over the past year and a half, the times she’d comforted him when he’d woken up from the dreams that had haunted him since Caterina had begun training him and the pain the old woman would ring out of him with her cane. He wouldn’t have experienced all the times Rook had made him laugh, or the soft look in her eyes when she gazed at him.
If he was still in Antiva, he wouldn’t be with the woman he loved. Even a day of the luxury he’d once lived in wasn’t worth losing every moment he’d had with Rook.
Illario sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He needed to find her. He needed to hug her and hold her in his arms. Quietly, he started in the direction she’d gone.
She hadn’t gone far, and he found her after a few minutes, staring moodily into a creek.
“Rook,” he began carefully, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked, still staring at the water.
“For snapping at you,” he replied. “You’re right. I’m here as a result of my own actions. And if I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have you in my life. And the thought of being without you frightens me.”
Rook turned, crossing her arms over her chest. “I know this isn’t easy for you, Illario. It isn’t easy for me either. We come from different backgrounds, different lifestyles. But I care for you. I’d rather have you in my life.”
“Can you forgive me, Querida?” he asked her, holding a hand out towards her.
She met his blue eyes with her gray, watching him for a long moment before she closed the distance between them and hugged him. “I can, but I ask you try to not do this again, Mea lux,” she told him.
Mea lux, Corculum, those were the kind of endearments she called him by. Rook had been there, the night he’d killed Zara just after his former Venatori lover had called him Amatus. Early on, when they’d first begun using endearments for each other, he asked she not call him that. Zara had tainted the word for him. He knew that he and Zara had been using each other, and even if the Venatori witch had thought she loved him, it wouldn’t have been a healthy love, a real one like what he and Rook felt for each other.
“Thank you, Rook,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around her. “Querida.” He nuzzled her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. Then, softly, he said, “Valentina, mi vida, I love you.”
Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him. Neither of them had said those three words to each other before. Her heart in her eyes, she leaned up and kissed him. “Illario, mea lux, I love you too.”
He felt the tension leave him as he held her close under the cloudy night sky. For all the lack of luxuries and comforts in his life now, every one of them was worth it if he could hear Rook say she loved him.